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European Ponzi Goes Full Retard As EFSF Found To Monetize... Itself
We have long mocked and ridiculed the Fed for being the ultimate ponzi instrument: after all, why worry, when your central bank will buy up almost three trillion in US paper in about 2 years (a very comforting fact for US politicians who never have to fear that those trillions in new porkbills, pardon fiscal stimulus programs, may end up without funding). Well, as it turns out those wily veteran bankers from across the Atlantic have just one upped America yet again. According to the Telegraph, the abysmal, and barely successful, 3 EUR billion issuance of EFSF bonds (which was originally supposed to be 10 EUR billion, on its very very gradual climb to 1 EUR trillion) had one more very curious feature to it, aside from confirming that it is Dead On Arrival as expected. It turns out that in addition to being the most convoluted and complex creation ever conceived by JPM which is advising Europe on coming up with structured finance products that are so complex nobody will ask any questions and will automatically assume someone else has done the homework, it is also the quintessential ponzi instrument. The Telegraph reports that the already reduced 3 EUR billion "target was only met after the EFSF resorted to buying up several hundred million euros worth of the bonds." You read that right: in its first bond issuance since its transformation to the European Bank/Soveriegn Bailout Swiss Army Knife, the EFSF not only failed to raise a minimum token amount, but also had to... buy its own bonds. We can assume that the money the EFSF needed to fund said purchase came from the money growing tree, as at last check the ECB was still not funding the EFSF with crisp, new zEURq.PK equivalent binary 1s and 0s. But at least we all know what happens when the global ponzi goes full retard.
More on this surreal story which will be promptly buried in the barrage of Monday headlines because an international advisor to Goldman Sachs is now in charge of Italy.
Sources said the EFSF had spent more than € 100m buying up its own bonds to help it achieve its funding target after the banks leading the deal were only able to find about €2.7bn of outside demand for the debt.
The revelation will be seen as a major failure and a worrying sign of future buyers strike after EFSF officials and their bankers had spent recent weeks travelling the world attempting to persuade key investors, including China's national wealth fund and Japanese government funds, to buy its bonds.
And just in case one monetization vertical was not enough, Europe used, well, all the other ones it could:
Other European Union funds are also understood to have supported the EFSF's bond sale. The failure of the EFSF will increase pressure on the European Central Bank to effectively become the lender of last resort for the eurozone, a move it has strongly resisted.
At a private breakfast organised by PI Capital last week, Mark Hoban, the Treasury minister, said: "What it doesn't do is provide the next stage of the solution, which is how do you stop this from happening again?" he said.
The move, by the European Investment Bank, will cause more disquiet among non-eurozone EU members who have become concerned about their growing exposure to the cost of rescuing the currency bloc.
The explanation, for anyone whose brain just exploded, is that despite the marionette rotation at the top, the math of Europe is still not only absolutely hopeless, not to mention meaningless, but somehow just got even worse, because take away the magical powers of modern finance to be one with the ponzi, and Europe would have already imploded.
It also means that our earlier observation that the EFSF is an AA+ equivalent credit instrument has to be revised: pro formaing out the ponzi, means it is at best AA if not A, and most likely D if one takes away all the magic bells and Keynesian whistles, unicorns and other end of the western financial world loopholes that modern finance is forced to resort to every single day to mask the fact that every country in the developed world is now 100% bankrupt.
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magical mystery tour ? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99aL0NkcQDw
Often
smoke 'em if you got 'em...
The Beatles-Magical Mystery Tour (youtube)
Roll up, roll up for the mystery tour.
Roll up, roll up for the mystery tour.
Roll up AND THAT'S AN INVITATION, roll up for the mystery tour.
Roll up TO MAKE A RESERVATION, roll up for the mystery tour.
The magical mystery tour is waiting to take you away,
Waiting to take you away.
Roll up, roll up for the mystery tour.
Roll up, roll up for the mystery tour.
Roll up WE'VE GOT EVERYTHING YOU NEED, roll up for the mystery tour.
Roll up SATISFACTION GUARANTEED, roll up for the mystery tour.
The magical mystery tour is hoping to take you away,
Hoping to take you away.
Roll up, roll up for the mystery tour.
Roll up, roll up for the mystery tour.
Roll up AND THAT'S AN INVITATION, roll up for the mystery tour.
Roll up TO MAKE A RESERVATION, roll up for the mystery tour.
The magical mystery tour is coming to take you away,
Coming to take you away.
The magical mystery tour is dying to take you away,
Dying to take you away, take you away.
bravo, mam! at least we still have paul...
get back
The EFSF should buy a credit-default swap on the obviously dangerous EFSF, and the best counterparty for that CDS is the EFSF.
the sound of one hand trading............
Insidious incestuous masturbatory syndrome
Expecting gold to plunge tomorrow evening.
Hey...!!!
Who put the acid in the punch bowl...???!!!
O/T Tyler made 'peopleofwalmart'
http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/49662
Pic on the gas cap. WTF? LOL!
Is it me or is the number of 'full retard' events in the financial system accelerating?
Thats what we really need to make sense of all this, a graph that plots FRE acceleration.
I just marketed my own bonds and bought them myself. They are paying 10%, so I don't need no stinking gold.
The financial apocalypse can kiss my ass.
Brilliant! Now can you leverage on that?
Based upon FASB standards for accrual accounting, your profits will be enormous as the coupon payments fall due, as long as you never declare yourself in default.
Wall St. momos will be clamoring for your common stock if you go public showing such a strong balance sheet.
You never go full retard.
http://listverse.com/2009/05/10/10-incredibly-bizarre-sexual-practices/
My favorite is "Autopederasty":
"Autopederasty is the near-impossible act of sticking one’s own fully-erect penis in one’s own rectum. Yes. Only a small percentage of people can do it, but it’s possible!"
With the EFSF now you have the proof.
How about urolagnia and coprolagnia? Very trendy in Tokyo.
Don't worry. This guy is in charge:
http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=christophe%20frankel%20efsf&sourc...
no,no,no. Only intellectuals are this stupid, even a full retard won't eat his own shit.
While this does produce a small amount of exess cash for the efsf, it also reduces the amount of money available for the piigies.
We had this discussion yesterday. Rinse, EURO bank debt via The ECB, [ recycling} PONZI ( sterilization) , PROGRAM!
You can NEVER win an Oscar if you go full retard. I hope the esfs learns something from hollywood!
EFSF? I fuck it up all the time to!
But until it blows up...it is working. Sad but true.
Here's is another good calendar, The insight from the trading crew is not on my page, but they do produce a worth while ( econ calendar). http://www.dailyfx.com/calendar/
When does the big money finally say enough? This is just ridiculous. Other than printing, I don't understand what the hell holds these markets together.
Can you say: SOUR KRAUT!
EFSF: Monkey Fucking a Football!
Germans are gonna go Ape Shit!
I like all the magical money that keeps showing up at the right time due to accounting errors, discovered accounts at JPM, US Treasury auctions, and now EFSF auctions. This is the big print everyone knew was coming. The liars and shitheads with the printing preses just don't like being pegged. They are printing like crazy right now and just not saying anything about it.
Just like the US, Europe is now subsisting entirely on a diet of its own vomit.
This EFSF news might otherwise be bothersome, except consider this:
How many investors get the chance to trade with a succesful hedge fund manager? Well...believe it or fucking not...YOU CAN TODAY! Follow Jim Cramer's charitable trust stock portfolio and see every frikkin stock he owns, when hes about to buy or sell, and you'll learn WHY!!! Its like BEING freaking JIM CRAMER! learn to trade like a hedge fund manager NOW.
Profit with Jim Cramer.
LIVE JIM CRAMER!
BE JIM CRAMER!
I cant wait...
Yeah but Cramer wouldn't invest his non-charitable money in a hedge fund that would accept him as a manager.
Am I misunderstanding this, or isn't this one of the pretty key steps in hyperinflation happening (ie debt to cover debt in same currency?)
Remember 3 weeks ago the rumor that goosed the market was the EFSF was going to be €2-3 trillion. Then China was going to be the big buyer and the bought NOTHING on the €10, then €3 EFSF bond.
Yet, in all likelyhood we will have performance chasing into year end, justified this week by the switch from democracy to technocratcism in Italy and Greece.
It never ends.
If word gets out on this self abuse, people will lose confidence in the EFSF, which will create a booming market for EFSF CDSs, which the EFSF itself can then sell against itself, which will enable it to use the proceeds to fund the EFSF, and maybe even cover the shortfalls in Greek and Italian sovereign debt repayments, which will save the EFSF and obviate the need for EFSF CDSs.
It might even pay the consultation fees of Rube Goldbergman Sachs.
Stop giving GS ideas.
Me thinks Chindit13 understands this all too well...
That's how the Shell Game works. Out of one pocket, into the other. By the time that anyone suspects that they should be looking for what happened to it, the money is gone.
http://georgesblogforum.wordpress.com/2011/11/02/the-daily-climb-2/
Quanzi Scheme.
The real purpose of the EFSF -- like all those other little games we play -- is to avert your eyes from the prize. The real prize is our privilege to be able to create worthless digits and buy your goods and services with them without paying anything of value in exchange.
We don't have to find a market to sell our EFSF bonds; or make CDSs perform, or even save the financial system for that matter. For we have the power to buy anything -- including a brand-new financial system right after this one collapses. Gold is not our nemesis. All of you will be happy to sell it to us at a higher price at a later date. We will be happy to oblige you with one form of fiat or another. Gold is just another story we tell to make you forget that you are slaves.
Gold, euros or dollars.
It doesn't matter as long as you have a price.
wowser!
full retardo grosso!
Strike a match, Slewie.
Pop a Top, WonderDawg...
Would if I could. I'm bad to drink, so it's better for all if I don't. Pop one in my honor and I'll strike a match in yours. Cheers!
actually - this idea invest in cramers 'charitable trust' is amusing. it sounds like lots of fun. i think i'd like to investigate that, will let you all know.
Baron von Munchausen seen near ECB HQ...
If you catch a daily parabolic (up) in Europe ( session) tomorow, the retrace is done. Stay flat! Through New York!
Don't get short squeezed!
I left France 25+ years ago when the parlement voted to self-amnesty itself over illegal political parties financing (all of them, it's nicer between friends). Seems this wasn't a total wrong decision, with the EFSF now buying it's own debt. Almost like when a company has a share buy-back program, isn't it? ;-)
What leaves me really perplexed since the beginning of the EFSF story, is why would anyone believe that those bonds are a remotely interesting deal to put money in, if the only thing they represent is bad sovereign debt? I fail to see how or why concentrated crap would somehow become valuable. Having it guaranteed by golden geese doesn't change the fact it's crap.
The secret side-deals/side-letters prevent us from knowing and understanding the whole transaction.
E.g. You and I can see the price of oil as WTI or Brent crude,etc, but actual prices are utterly unknown.
Virtually all large transactions are made directly between buyer and sovereign producer, and include unknown and limitless types of offsets/favors/benefits/tradeoffs...not to mention gold and other commodities used as fractional payments...not to mention political give-and-take as partial payment. And how about pricey military guarantees that a seller stay on the throne?
As the snake swollows its own tail, it gets fat and happy and thinks it is a python.
The python can then swollow bulls and bears after squeezing them to death.
And then the python swollows itself and all is well.
So.......
Why is "Goldman Sachs in the key words twice.....
and not in the story.?
Goldman Sachs is in everything -- even if you can't see them
A few hundred million? The U.S. needs to sell $5 billion a day just for the annual deficit whilst foreigners are trying to sell $1.5 Billion of treasury bonds a day and China isn't buying anymore. We aren't even pretending there are buyers, just ""household" money from the cookie jar.
I get it. Let me illustrate. You hire a pooper service to pick up your Great Dane's dogshit in the backyard -- the same guy has a fertilizer bizness. He comes back and sells you the same dogshit for your zinnias. So what it all comes down to in global finance is spreading around a lot of shit.
Guys, it's time we all make The Great Leap Forward: to Voluntary Monetary Self-Regulaiton (VMSR)
No more shame and guilt about monetization, broken debt ceilings, bailouts and secret swap lines. And no more need for fiscal austerity, political infighting and demonstrations.
Here's the deal: everyone come on down to DC and just take what you need. No more, no less. We got plenty of overcapacity to accommodate everyone. No more "have-nots". Poof! That was easy...
fucking poetry !
Don't worry folks...They're scrambling!...We have 'em on the run!
They're runnin out of options, gone too far to fix.
WE WILL SHOW NO MERCY...RIGHT?
buy physical silver and fix it !!
.
silver, rock me baby
From: peacsees | May 13, 2011
http://www.youtube.com/user/peacsees#p/a/f/0/pzhJBWIZxjw
Nice dog. Nice pony. Just print already. meh
No Mercy...
So Germany is against printing money to fund the debt hole represented by the EFSF. But in the darkened corners of the EU that is exactly what they are doing. Paging the German public ... you might want to buy gold.
I can fix Europe -- after all, I was the one who destroyed the ring.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sUrJdsN_-B0
It wasn't already full retard?
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/81998522/
a word from jesse........
Also, the difference between the Federal Reserve buying US Treasuries and the EFSF buying their own bonds is virtually nil. Mutually assured destruction.
So why pay taxes? Tax revenue generated is negligible compared to what's been printed on both sides of the Atlantic they could have had a 0 tax policy on incomes tax since 2008 and they would really kick start the economy
Only half of eligible taxpayers pay any tax at all. And more tax cuts are being proposed. But tax revenue represents a drop in the ocean of debt. So why collect them? Just to show 'em who's boss.
I repeat my proposal that we all just come on down to DC and take just what we all need: sovereigns, corps, individuals.
New marketing strategy for ESFS:
Voice over: "You can adopt a banker before they become extinct. Send your gift to 'Save The Bankers Before They Go Bonkers"
The question you have to ask is how or why in the heck would anyone buy or hold a European soveriegn bond. Unbelievable risk. Could you imagine being Blackrock or Pimco or any of the other large bond holders. What the heck do you do? IMO these central banks are going to cause a major bond market disruption at some point in the not to distant future.
First, you go short in your personal offshore accounts as a hedge. Second, you buy some type of synthetic poly vinyl carbon cold fusion credit default obligor reverse swap which of course pays off 100:1 in the event that you lose money on your 'positions' by issueing bonds that are rated AAA but come from a country that has not even declared its independence yet.
Better yet use client accounts to off load Italian and Greek bonds.
<=== i want to buy this fine product!
<=== are you shitting me?
wiki sez: The Facility aimed for ratings agencies to assign a AAA rating to its bonds, which would be eligible for European Central Bank refinancing operations.[18] It achieved this in September 2010 when Fitch, and Standard & Poor's awarded it AAA and Moody's awarded it Aaa [19], making it easier for it to raise money. The rating outlook was qualified as stable.[20] Technically EFSF is a special purpose vehicle (SPV) off balance sheet of European Central Bank (ECB) placing collateralized debt obligation (CDOs) to raise money to financing the Deficit spending that European Governments used to replace a share of banking system losses.
could wiki have confused the EFSF w/ enron?
Wiki confuses a lot of things
No. They both start with E, have extraordinarily high leverage and end badly.
Race to the bottom.....
DOA. Me Thinks IT IS DEAD. When IT arrives can WE get a PULSE. Maybe an infusion. Ask BEN, he's the life saver. Turd opinion. I meant a second opinion.
ot there's a pretty damn good fight on right now...
even Mr PONZI is stunned looking at this PONZI
Spontaneous combustion has just been explained.
Im sure that will calm China's fears of maybe joining in on such a sound investment.
Tee heh... and which European newspaper was it that chided the Chinese about being fools for turning down the marvelous opportunity to buy into Europe?
Holy crap!
notice the parallels.
.
read close and between the lines.
.
Why did Jerry Sandusky's wife call abuse victim weeks before his testimony and how much did Dorothy and six adopted children know about Penn State 'paedophile'?
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2060914/Jerry-Sandusky-Penn-Stat...
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2060914/Jerry-Sandusky-Penn-Stat...
.
grand jury indictment.
http://www.freep.com/assets/freep/pdf/C4181508116.PDF
.
victim 1-7 and perp. that is you, think the fed and your money.
it is a system of ass rapping, you are either the boy in the shower
or jerry himself. reject it or pick one, your call.
the thing is imagination and it's fundamental significance can
make anything, either choice, survivable. they all have karmic
implications and resolutions, cheers.
"ass rapping"
As if rap was not bad enough, this would really stink, although come to think of it, a lot of the sounds are similar.
right. apologies where needed.
OK folks.
I been sayin' it for a while.
Everybody keeps musing about the "just wait till it happens" the "are we there yets" and the "when TSHT fan".
And all along I been sayin' that we're already there, ain't got to wait, time to stop by the potty and tinkle, because the world's already done went gone mad and not makin' sense anymore.
Here's prima face evidence.
The ESwgateverthefuck buying its own shit. I mean, what non-productive idiocy is this?
This make no economic sense whatsofuckingever.
None.
Nada, zip, zilch, zero....
This is a matter of the problem being that the dog did not bark.
No productive rhyme or reason.
Floundering, smell the fear and sweat.
It's officially over and done with. Period.
If anybody says anything else about progress, improvement, etc., label the person a fucking fool, liar or brain-damaged.
No more excuses.
This is lightweight kindergarten crap.
Jesus.
Everyone else is doing it
BTW, by any standard, this should trigger a downgrade of the ES whatever itself. Non economic dealing probably in violation of the indenture.
Everybody's doin' it, doin' it, doin' it
Picking their nose and eatin' it chewin' it
but, k-nuk!
what if they get a bonus for selling the deal...
...plus commissions on both sides?
Slewie, they're Skullfucking an Entire Continent.
We know they got the comish, with a extra pop, fees and probably a success fee for a closing a difficult deal and on top of it, need further meetings and analyses to discern just what went wrong with the fucking piece of shit (Don't put that in an e-mail, btw.) so as to make sure the Europeans understand that it's not JP Morgan's fault the deal didn't fucking work.
Been there, done that.
I know the drill.
Just another day at the Rodeo.
The Europeans have No Fucking Idea that They're Being Played Grand Theft Continent by JP Morgan.
Skullfucking an Entire Continent.
I stand in awe of the audacity and arrogance.
no doubt
but, k-nuk!
the europeonZ don't seem to be minding too much
yet
we hear and read a lotta bullshit about germany and inflation and tyler has even TM'd "weimar" but the entire continent seems asleep to The Big Lie or worse, is even buying into it
to paraphrase mr durden: these numbers don't work, you fuking shitforbrained morons!!!
Don't forget taking a short position leveraged 40:1 against the shit they are selling to "clients".
It would be a great help to all of us if the people who are responsible for governing would look up the meaning of the word. Sorry, I was too lazy also.
Why do you complain when YOU vote for us?
Why do you vote only for Democrats and Republicans?
When you know that we only intend to screw you?
Could it be that you are all Democrats and Republicans?
What is the ONLY difference between the 1% and the 99%?
Their bank accounts.
No one will seek a solution when THEY are the problem.
Capiche?
I have just lent myself three trillion dollars to be paid back in ten years. Where do I go to buy Euro Bonds using the money I lent myself, surely they will allow this trasaction electronically. A win, win for all.
they have an invention but it's not the printing press
it's the zer0
s00n, with enuf of them, everyone can have his or her own three tril $
trust me
Have you bought a rating for your bonds yet?
but...this is a private placement
he certainly issued the debt with puts, which he shorted to himself: win-win; win-win
now, he issues default swap insurance to himself for the winning trifecta, BiCheZ!
we're rich, i tell ya, rich!
so...
here we are.
not only do i not know anything of what is...
i do not want to know anything that has come
before.
too much crime to prosecute
and would prefer to start anew.
full retard reigns.
so? let us begin
I think we all see where this is heading...
The ECB needs to dispense with the illusions already and just outright issue debt free money.
Anyone who wishes to preserve wealth, save in Gold and Silver.
Let's se how the "markets" react when all the wise "investors" start to realise what a sad ponzi scheme this is. Seriously, i know a lot of guys managing money who are thinking EFSF is very sound investment. ROFLOL! Well, a few at least have by now changed their hearts and that's healthy. Unfortunately methinks "markets" ie the big banks will cheerlead the appointments of UNELECTED technocrats as prime ministers in Greece and Italy. Both planted by EU/ECB dictatorship. This type of Soviet Union style development is VERY worrying and undermines the little crums of "stability" that's left in the countries like Greece and Italy. I hope the PEOPLE will react to this and take back the powers that belong to them, not to some unelected bureaucrats chosen by EU/ECB.
JPMoron.
ZEuro.
Morons back-stopping retards...
...a system to 'Govern' us and it comes up with more debt to solve too much debt
Would all the advocates of democratic Govt please take a bow ...under my guillotine blade
To all the muppets here and elsewhere, who argue that Euroland is like the United STATES of America, and that the Euro is just like the USD, here is a simple test for ya:
The US Dollar is backed by the full faith and credit of the US Treasury.
The Zimbabwian Dollar is backed by the full faith and credit of the Zimbabwian Treasury.
The EURO is backed by the full faith and credit of . wait for it.... HOPIUM. (It doesn't even have an implicit guarentee from Germany anymore.)
And that is what stands at the heart of the EURO problem, and is why the USD=EURO is a false comparison.
Selling potatoes to buy potatoes!
Walk-behind tractors, bitchez!
Les glaneurs et la glaneuse...(The Gleaners and I)
enron baby!
Max, you are a fucking genius and spot on!
So if the european banks need capital to flush their balance sheet and kick start the European econonomy - Tyler are you saying effectively that the EFSF works in that situation similar to a staving man eating his on excrement to fend off stavation ?
The BIS has appointed an emergency steering committee to begin a EFSF recapitalization stress test. Upon results, this committee will begin to target the next crisis mode.
She's lost control again.. she's lost control..
0 + 0 = 1 !
Fiat Lux ...