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European Rumormill Goes Full Retard

Tyler Durden's picture


Update: Italy Hasn’t Asked for Any Help From China, Deputy Min Says... Yeah. Full Retard

Wondering why stocks are soaring and the EURUSD is above 1.37 again? Why, nothing short of the latest rumor, this time that Russia will bail out Europe. Bloomberg reports that Russia may use its international reserves to buy common euro-area bonds if European policy makers back joint debt issuance, Reuters reported, citing an interview with Finance Minister Alexei Kudrin... Sorry, we just report them. Time for the trader diary to get its latest update. The only problem we see with this strategy of rolling daily bailouts is that after China and Russia, who would be far smarter to participate in a stalking horse bid of European assets than to invest general unsecured pre-petition claims, there will be nobody left to "rescue" Europe: after all who else is out there? Zimbabwe? Japan? Argentina? Iceland? We doubt even the 80286's will buy that...


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Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:08 | 1663375 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

It's sad how rumors are the key triggers. Shitty rumors at that too.

Kinda miss the old predictable Pomo days compared to this.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:15 | 1663413 DormRoom
DormRoom's picture

current account balance surplus nations may try to assist Europe until 2013, when the  permanent European extended facility can take over and provide an 'orderly default' for the South. Not doing so would create huge dislocation in global markets.  And as any political economist will tell you, huge dislocations in markets tend to lead to wars, and regime change.  Not good for the status quo.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:16 | 1663433 Leopold B. Scotch
Leopold B. Scotch's picture

There are so many fingers plugged into this soggy dyke, Central bankers need to start wearing a uniforms of something like that traditionally worn by dutch-boys and girls.   Clogs.  Lots of clogs.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:21 | 1663467 SMG
SMG's picture

I think all these desperate rumors and volitility are a sign the end is coming within the next few weeks or months.  October seems to be the month for crahses, maybe then.  

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:26 | 1663490 dwdollar
dwdollar's picture

I agree.  These rumors are trying to pump the market for some real bearish news coming down the line.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:31 | 1663528 eurusdog
eurusdog's picture

Hey, this is offensive, I've known retards that are smarter than that!

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:51 | 1663627 spiral_eyes
spiral_eyes's picture

Question: Will China bail out the world?

Answer: No — they will try to when asset prices have dropped a lot more, but that will be too little, too late. 

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:53 | 1663636 max2205
max2205's picture


Tue, 09/13/2011 - 11:18 | 1663722 eisley79
eisley79's picture


make a graphic to depict full and partial retard mode....

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 15:25 | 1664877 mkkby
mkkby's picture

Junk me all you want -- the Fed will ultimately bail out Europe and Pomo devalue the US debt. 

And so sorry, they won't let you pay off your mortgage with a gold coin.  They'll change the rules somehow to break that trade.  Rant and rave all you like about guns and revolution, but it'll just be a slow decline like the last 30 years were.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 15:47 | 1664993 malikai
malikai's picture

You would be certainly correct if the US had total control over the situation, but there are factors at play here much greater than the US or it's Bilderberg overlords.

Given that we are in an inherently chaotic and unstable world, I'd put the odds of slow decline at closer to 50/50. But that's just me.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 11:23 | 1663748 Taku
Taku's picture

China buys Europe.
Russia owns Europe.

These sort of things lead to greater wars.
"2013 facility" another magic wand? Will it fix the problems? Or encourage Extend and pretend credit junkies?

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 12:06 | 1663961 Léonard
Léonard's picture

I beg your pardon but it's the USA that owns Europe but not for long anymore.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 17:17 | 1665291 Taku
Taku's picture

Based on what was said. But yes, I should've clarified 'to own?'

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 12:05 | 1663955 Léonard
Léonard's picture

No, China won't bail the USA out.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:43 | 1663587 So Close
So Close's picture

Half life of this one.....  7.5 minutes..

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:32 | 1663536 living on the edge
living on the edge's picture

It really is pathetic watching this shit show. The EU can't be bailed out, it's too late and too expensive. No one willingly puts their head in a guillotine.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 12:08 | 1663969 Léonard
Léonard's picture

You guys still don't get that the UE and the Eurozone are two different entities.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 12:40 | 1664077 LongSoupLine
LongSoupLine's picture

I'm thinking more like SS uniforms all with "I heart Joseph Goebbels"" pins on the collar.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:22 | 1663468 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

and God knows they've acted wisely up to this point. The system is bursting from too much debt chasing too little resource. THe status quo can not prevent it given they were its creators. 

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:27 | 1663503 DormRoom
DormRoom's picture

That's like saying you shouldn't put out the fire in a neighbour's house, cuz they were the ones that started it.  Regardless, that fire can spread to your house, and consume your family.  Put out the fire first, then solve the structural problems.  That's the lesson of Lehman.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:32 | 1663537 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

No I'm saying we've used up most of our water and our economic systems have made and sold too many claims on the aquifer. Most of our wealth is abstract digits with claims on the future that are based upon lies about growth and natural resource. This point in human history was probably innevitable and dangerous.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:52 | 1663634 WonderDawg
WonderDawg's picture

And what has been done to fix the structural problems since Lehman? Throw more debt at a debt problem, try to solve an insolvency problem with a liquidity solution. It has worked to delay the inevitable, and in doing so, exponentially increased the ultimate destruction that will occur.

Great plan, let's do it some more.


Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:34 | 1663545 bankruptcylawyer
bankruptcylawyer's picture

of course they 'may' try and help. 


but more likely, they will try and help themselves. they will only do things to milk these countries for control over their resources, for guarantees of long term consumption contracts, and for capital expenditures, or forkovers of utlitity control. 


why wouldn't russia have helped belorus out of hyper inflation? because russia is probably strategizing to take advantage of its neighbor directly in the wake of their collapse ( currently happening) . 

you may as just well say russia ( speciically ) and china ( less specifically ) would try and take advantage of the west by deliberately causing market havoc. 

the truth is that they will "help" or "not help" or "bungle" only in such a manner as helps themselves. 

whether or not the situation is pareto optimal , or zero sum, is a complex matter and you need the true and complete set of information about china's stakes to know the answer with regards to each choice or possible course of action they may take with respect to the western countrie's demand for bailout money. 


the rub is that only china really knows the true and complete set of infromation about its own stakes. in the game of nations each nation is in the best position to know what he risks losing or gaining. 


as much as i hate bankers, if there is to be one world order without global scale would hope that each nation would be reasonable enough to prevent the utter financial collapse of militarily threatening countries. 


i.e. this is why the u.s. sent billions to russia post soviet union collapse. not only to stabilize and safeguard the nuclear stockpile, but generally to help bring them into the capitalist 'fold'. i can't say russia benefitted all that much. but only the cia and a few others really know how all this money was used.


Tue, 09/13/2011 - 11:41 | 1663835 CPL
CPL's picture

Getting closer.  You are almost there.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 14:08 | 1664471 Savyindallas
Savyindallas's picture

I think Russia will help because Putin is a nice guy and wants to do the right thing - helping out a fellow white brother in need. With the Chinese breathing down their necks - we Christian Anglo countries need to stick together and lend a helping hand.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:24 | 1663489 Popo
Popo's picture

I hear Zimbabwe is offering a cool trillion to Europe.  Everything's going to be okay.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 13:18 | 1664282 GenX Investor
GenX Investor's picture

I thought they were offering 400 septillion new Zimbabwe dollars to buy Italian bonds today???

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 14:12 | 1664481 Savyindallas
Savyindallas's picture

Hey don't laugh it off. Every bit counts, a few quadrillion Zimbabwe dollars here and there, and pretty soon it starts to add up.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:08 | 1663376 alexdg
alexdg's picture

My 486DX4 will make a bid! still faster than a russian trader on vodka.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:09 | 1663381 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

The martians are coming

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:14 | 1663417 Leopold B. Scotch
Leopold B. Scotch's picture

Krugman will be pleased.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:16 | 1663420 malikai
malikai's picture

This just in! Grey aliens offer to buy greek bonds with their platinum currency. Gold prices tumble $100. EURUSD now at 1.60. Unicorns and rainbows engage in spontaneous celebration all over the world!

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:48 | 1663616 Leopold B. Scotch
Leopold B. Scotch's picture

Really, if we just sink enough benjamins into the war vs. the martians effort, we're home free.  Economy will be on easy street.  Seriously.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:08 | 1663382 sushi
sushi's picture

Next rumour - Greece will bail out Italy!!!

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:11 | 1663393 drider
drider's picture

Greece has already bailed-out German and France banks, so I see no problem with Italy!

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:44 | 1663595 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

I think that was bailed ON German and French banks, but why be picky?

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:11 | 1663396 cossack55
cossack55's picture

I think that was covered by those two British comics. Forget their name and link.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:25 | 1663493 WhatCouldGoWrong
Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:32 | 1663534 malikai
malikai's picture

I almost pissed myself. +1000 greek bonds

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:37 | 1663554 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

correct or should I say: caaarr-wrecked

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:27 | 1663500 Real Estate Geek
Real Estate Geek's picture

Never mind.  WCGW beat me to it.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 12:06 | 1663962 english serf
english serf's picture

they are aussie

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:14 | 1663418 optimator
optimator's picture

I can't understand why some entity somewhere hasn't simply borrowed against the IOU that are in the Social Security unlocked box?

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:10 | 1663386 GenX Investor
GenX Investor's picture

You never go full retard!  Com'on Simple Jack, you belong to Flaming Dragon now!

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:19 | 1663459 DutchSucker
DutchSucker's picture

Me thinks its fLaming dLagon

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:24 | 1663485 mess nonster
mess nonster's picture

fRaming dLagon!

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:10 | 1663388 Belarus
Belarus's picture

The rumors are working for the nano-second. Looks like the abysmal volume means every trader is afraid to take either side of the bet without hedge, stop losses, etc. in place because one wrong move....

And your down 5-10%....or up 5-10%. So naturally while everyone is afraid to place a bet--no volume--you can count on the market rising on vapor volume with "other" asset help from Fed balance sheet. 

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:10 | 1663390 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

pure desperation and they are running out of rumors and distractions.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:12 | 1663402 Belarus
Belarus's picture

...true but the desperation has levitated the market 3.5% since yesterday's lows. Every time it looks like the world is a step from falling apart....go long. That will work until it doesn't. 

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:39 | 1663567 Clorox Cowboy
Clorox Cowboy's picture

Or...simply wait for PMs to dip on the hopium guessed it...BUY THAT DIP!!

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:11 | 1663391 Fips_OnTheSpot
Fips_OnTheSpot's picture

There's more clue in a can of ravioli then in these algos...



Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:11 | 1663392 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

Logically, the next rumor will involve Prince Walid of Saudi Arabia. 

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:11 | 1663394 Global Hunter
Global Hunter's picture

I googled 80260 expecting it be the postal code of Connecticut or Manhattan

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:16 | 1663426 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

286,386,486.... Microprocessors from old pcs

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:17 | 1663440 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

I thought it was the name of an AlgoBot? Too lazy to Google anything except German shizer porn which, contrary to conventional wisdom, isn't all that rare and more like an everyday thing from Merkel and the gang;)

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:20 | 1663460 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

Zis is ze time on Sprockets vhen we buy shtock

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:11 | 1663395 John Law Lives
John Law Lives's picture

What a psychotic market! Too bad that temporary bailouts don't solve underlying economic problems. The can is being kicked down the road in small increments, but it is still being kicked.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:13 | 1663408 cossack55
cossack55's picture

I think they have left the road far behind and now are on a trail, soon to be a path.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:24 | 1663486 sushi
sushi's picture

They left the path a while ago and are now well  out over the canyon. Still kicking. The future beckons.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:53 | 1663637 cossack55
cossack55's picture

Damn. Did they repeal gravity too, along with FASB, GAAP, and Glass-Steagal?

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:24 | 1663487 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

filled with wild hungry beasts

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:12 | 1663397 Everybodys All ...
Everybodys All American's picture

What is glaring at me is that the US is not part of the solution of the bailout of Europe. That says alot in and of itself. Again I ask who will buy our debt?

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:14 | 1663412 cossack55
cossack55's picture

You have insider info from the Fed?  Isn't Timmmaaay in Euro right now?

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:12 | 1663399 asheylarry
asheylarry's picture

you never go full retard........

just ask Sean Penn

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:21 | 1663472 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

I am Sam, Sam I am.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:13 | 1663401 firstdivision
firstdivision's picture

All it is are headline algos buying the headlines.  Human traders are still skeptical.  Would be funny to see a group hack into FT and put out a flash saying :ARCHDUKE FERDINAND ASSINATED, EUROPE DEFAULTS

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:14 | 1663403 HitTheFan
HitTheFan's picture

It would be nice if ZH recognised and talkied sensibly about the geopolitics involved here, rather than mocking these moves.

We are witnessing the end of the dollar era, and a transition (in all probability) to the Euro. That will be a good thing, as freegold will back the Euro, and world trade will continue with all of its benefits.

I for one with Mrs Merkel all the best in her efforts.

The alternative is dire.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:15 | 1663424 cossack55
cossack55's picture

I'll have an order of the alternative, please. Hold the Freedom Fries.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:18 | 1663451 HitTheFan
HitTheFan's picture

You would rather that world trade grinds to a hault, with no viable reserve currency, and oil is traded ONLY for gold?


Go do some reading, I suggest FOFOA, to se where this is all headed. The US is dead already, the rest of the world is ready to move on, this is a great thing.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:26 | 1663497 HitTheFan
HitTheFan's picture

Wow, voted down by 9 (and counting)!

That's 9 people who presumably are rabid supporters of the dollar faction? And who welcome a world where global trade dies. How odd. Easy to junk, less easy to voice a viable option fellas.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:30 | 1663522 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Oh but you LIKE the Euro? What a nutsack.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:30 | 1663523 tmosley
tmosley's picture

9 people who know that the Euro isn't backed by gold, despite the empty words of Euro pumpers.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 11:23 | 1663751 DaBernank
DaBernank's picture

We're also aware that "Europe" (as it has been sold by the Eurocrats) does not exist. The ECB has gold like the UN has an army.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 12:30 | 1664039 HitTheFan
HitTheFan's picture

It doesn't need to be fixed to gold, but it now has 65% + of its reserves in gold. Gold is on the way back, many central banks are buying it.

Just head over to FOFOA's blog, do some research, it all makes sense. Or continue in ignorance, I don't care either way, I have my gold.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 11:11 | 1663695 fightthepower
fightthepower's picture

Trade should only be done in gold, period.  Anything else is a fucking scam run of, by and for the power elite. 

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 11:11 | 1663696 fightthepower
fightthepower's picture

Trade should only be done in gold, period.  Anything else is a fucking scam run of, by and for the power elite. 

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:32 | 1663526 Motley Fool
Motley Fool's picture

I agree a broader view would be more sensible, but the rumour mill is simply ludicrous.

Mock on! :P

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:32 | 1663538 Vagabond
Vagabond's picture

The Euro will beat the dollar in the race to 6 feet under the ground.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:35 | 1663550 Motley Fool
Motley Fool's picture

The dollar powerz is certainly trying their damnedest to make your statement true. If they succeed it would be a great tragedy.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:39 | 1663569 JOYFUL
JOYFUL's picture

Yu want talkie geopolitics sensible like?

Okej Dokej!

Were it not for the vast amount of manpower and material marooned in Greece and adjoining slavic states, the Battle of Kursk would have had a decisive outcome - one which would have seen "Stalingrad" become Frankfurt am Volga. 

The failure of Italian brownshirts to keep a modicum of control over the territories designated for the Italian sphere of influence caused a fatal heamorraging of German resources which changed the course of history.Some powerful people are still pissed off about that.

You will now see a stealth campaign of political warfare which will culminate in the creation of a new version of the Holy Roman Empire, with tributary states reaching from the Bosphorus to Gibraltar.  There will be very very few strikes or outbursts of popular dissent in Greece or Italy very very soon.

Is that 'dire' enough for ya>!?!?

btw..."Mrs. Merkel"(s) efforts have a direct line of continuity since her university days as a Stasi enforcer.  Be careful what you wish for!




Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:45 | 1663602 falak pema
falak pema's picture

Now you have what is known as a knee jerk, dyed in the wool, cold war warrior mindset. HK would love you!

As Bob Dylan sang...the times are a changing...look ahead...unless the good ole US of A wants to look back; down the eye of a nuke missile...having blown up the financial world in the meantime.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 11:09 | 1663690 fightthepower
fightthepower's picture

How is the Alternative dire?  I pray every day all of this globalism will fail.  You are going to wake up one day and find ourself living in a bankster run police state (even worse than it is today). 

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 12:47 | 1664112 Charlie Bravo
Charlie Bravo's picture

Nevermind HitTheFan folks. He suffered a concussion the other day (which leaves him "confused").

Charlie Bravo

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 13:15 | 1664265 HitTheFan
HitTheFan's picture

Clearly you are full of wisdom on how things get resolved. Oh, no, sorry, you just post nothing of use. I love that ZHers (and ZH) fret about police states and the erosion of liberty, but you all get your knickers in a twist when a view is expressed which you find hard to handle or understand.

I guess you are Amerikan, so despite your antipathy you have my best wishes, cos you're going under whilst the rest of the world moves on.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:12 | 1663404 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

Well, since  JUST LAST WEEK the German constitutional court said NO to a joint Eurobond, isn't this whole rumor just moot, since it is based on buying something this is NEVER going to exist.

Sort of like one registering for wedding gifts as the future Mrs. JFK Jr.

Is it me or as desperation is setting in, these rumors are getting stupider and stupider.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:29 | 1663518 Zgangsta
Zgangsta's picture

No is the new yes.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:50 | 1663622 oogs66
oogs66's picture

right, russia only said they would buy euro area backed bonds - yeah, big news, they will buy debt so long as its backed by Germany and France.  Stupidest rally ever.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:13 | 1663405 BetTheHouse
BetTheHouse's picture

World markets are now nothing more than welfare queens, looking aywhere, absolutely anywhere, for the next handout which will save them from actually having to confront the real world.  What a pathetic fucking shit show. 

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:18 | 1663449 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

Can you imagine how awesome a central banker reality show would be on Mtv?  You have come up with a great idea!  They could squat in a deserted post housing crisis city block somewhere in Vegas for a filming location.  I think a cool twist would be forcing them to come up a with a currency they could all agree to use and not allowing them to use legal tender law Dollars.  It would be hilarious to see them go from bartering chickens, then salt, then drugs, and finally realizing only gold works when it comes to hooker time.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:13 | 1663409 Dumpster Fire
Dumpster Fire's picture

Germany wait China no Russia

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:13 | 1663414 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Certainly peolpe are not this stupid to be ramping this market on bullshit news. Why in the fuck would Russia want that shitty paper. They know first hand what the eventual outcome of this madness is.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:41 | 1663576 falak pema
falak pema's picture

they need the German energy consumer markets or they go belly up too. Its the global economy stupid! As good ole Clinton would say!

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:14 | 1663415 AngryGerman
AngryGerman's picture

Sheen will use his Tiger blood to bail out Germany!

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:14 | 1663416 drider
drider's picture

Next rumour: Libya will bail-out Italy. After all 1/3 of their oil exports go there...

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:39 | 1663561 falak pema
falak pema's picture

That is not far from the truth. The libyan Sovereign fund all 150 billion of it stashed in TBTF western banks, the daily oil revenues...good payoff for Berlusark and their "you forcoffee Q-daffy" caper. Paid good dividends!

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:14 | 1663419 Racer
Racer's picture

Breaking News: Martians to bail out Euro area

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:19 | 1663453 THE DORK OF CORK
THE DORK OF CORK's picture

Its about bloody time.


Tue, 09/13/2011 - 11:08 | 1663686 Byte Me
Byte Me's picture

But only after the €uro really bombs...

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:15 | 1663421 citrine
citrine's picture

I would not be surprised if Russia actually used some of its reserves for that

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:15 | 1663423 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

My sources, which must remain nameless, tell me that Haiti may step in to bailout Greece and the entire Eurozone. Also preparing to jump on the bandwagon is Cuba and Monserat.


More to come.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:16 | 1663437 Gandalf6900
Gandalf6900's picture

berlusconi will bail everyone out

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:22 | 1663475 drider
drider's picture

berlusconi will bang everyone out

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:17 | 1663443 cossack55
cossack55's picture

"But what of St. Kitts. For the love of God, what of St. Kitts?"

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 12:10 | 1663979 BorisTheBlade
BorisTheBlade's picture

I heard those were Cayman and British Virgin (no for much longer) Islands.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:16 | 1663427 Gandalf6900
Gandalf6900's picture

I didn't get the last frase....who is 80286????

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:18 | 1663450 cossack55
cossack55's picture

A Lehman HFT computer.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:20 | 1663463 Long-John-Silver
Long-John-Silver's picture

80286 is one of the first X-86 processor used in PC's. It made Windows 3.0 screamingly fast by the standards of those days. 

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:21 | 1663471 HelluvaEngineer
HelluvaEngineer's picture

Especially with the Turbo button on

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:26 | 1663466 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

An old school processor.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:27 | 1663507 pvzh
pvzh's picture

You need to be really old (like 35) to know. They are pre-historic processors 80086, 80286, 80386, 80486, then came Pentium.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:16 | 1663428 Long-John-Silver
Long-John-Silver's picture

Could it be that everyone still trading these broken markets are simply too stupid to go full Hedge?

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:16 | 1663429 treemagnet
treemagnet's picture

The elites gotta be in PMs already - the only reason to stick around and watch this mess go to hell is to ensure that every possible remedy and save has been tried - its like they want to ensure their PM stash's future.  Like an assasin emptying the full clip when one or two will do.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:36 | 1663552 Silver Dreamer
Silver Dreamer's picture

Modern emergency medicine works miracles.  If you want to be absolutely sure someone stays dead, empty the magazine.  Put all but two rounds into center mass, and then save the last two for the head. 

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:16 | 1663435 Aductor
Aductor's picture

Market talk that there is an ant attack on the Reuter server farm. Story developing.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:17 | 1663438 Waterfallsparkles
Waterfallsparkles's picture

Kind of like throwing a water ballon up in the air.  It goes up and hovers and then comes down faster than it went up and splats right on your head and leaves you all wet.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:22 | 1663474 Dumpster Fire
Dumpster Fire's picture

Grenade is a more apt metaphor.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:17 | 1663439 LeonardoFibonacci
LeonardoFibonacci's picture

Lets go full retard with scorched earth mofo

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:17 | 1663441 hungarianboy
hungarianboy's picture

what a joke this market.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:17 | 1663442 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

wonder if Parker Bros(TM) will come out with a game called 'Bullsheiit Em'. kinda like Monopoly meets Risk. the one that can conquer the world with most debt and Bullsheiit, wins!!

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:25 | 1663495 Long-John-Silver
Long-John-Silver's picture

Ding! Starts writing new Android Game called Stockopoly. I'll write it like a Football fantasy game using current Daily Stock Quotes.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:17 | 1663444 espirit
espirit's picture

Next rumor: FedBen will bail out the Eurozonies.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:17 | 1663445 goldfreak
goldfreak's picture

Putin is a good man; he'll help

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:18 | 1663446 Star-Gazer
Star-Gazer's picture

Ignore the glitzy Intel chips with their nanosecond trades.  My trusty Z80A just keeps chugging along quietly buying gold and silver.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:32 | 1663533 Long-John-Silver
Long-John-Silver's picture

I actually do still use a computer that has a Z80 processor. It's an old Radio Shack TRS-80 Model 102. It runs for weeks on 4 AA batteries and has a wonderful word processor in it. It never crashes or freezes.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:18 | 1663448 Cdad
Cdad's picture

Full Retard...please, Dude...the preferred nomenclature is Eurozone Challenged.

Also, short bus.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 11:06 | 1663679 Cdad
Cdad's picture

NEWS FLASH....BlowHorn [CNBC]....

Ponzi news network is now counting on a interview with Timmay to continue the rally...tomorrow.

Banker statements are now the only catalyst left in world debt and equity markets.  Who needs earnings when you have criminal syndicate Wall Street anlalyst earnings expectation upgraders and and price target raisers...with criminal central bankers making false statements hourly to back 'em up?

I'm sure investors are cobbling their last dollars together and preparing to go long Netflix [which BTW goes over the cliff today, I think]  Don't do it average Joe!

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 11:12 | 1663702 Cdad
Cdad's picture

NEWS FLASH....BlowHorn [CNBC]...

Tyler Mathisen reveals the criminal syndicate Wall Street cliche dijour..."A Greek default is priced in."  Criminal syndicate Wall Street analysts answer the call, urging investors to buy [high] in hopes that they will not have to sell [lower] when the short bus in Europe comes to a a bad neighborhood...filled with rioting Greeks or Italians.

Brilliant!  I'm sure average Joe will fall for the rhetoric once again.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:19 | 1663455 Robslob
Robslob's picture

You guys are way too is getting cheaper by the day and all you can do is complain.


The reality is we all here should PRAY for 1 more mighty slap down of the Banking Cartel - Central Bank annihilater called GOLD!

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:19 | 1663457 somethingelse
somethingelse's picture

From Russia With Love....another green day based on absolutely nothing real

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:23 | 1663481 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

And everyone said markets would be tanked to S&P >900 for QE3....guess QE3 is a no-show.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:20 | 1663458 milanitaly
milanitaly's picture

FT: There are rumors that Gheddafi will help old friend Silvio buying Italian bunga bunga bonds as soon as possible.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:20 | 1663465 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

so on a normal earth, its buy the rumor sell the new.. on Bizarro World, buy the news, sell the in these markets!!

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:21 | 1663473 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Lets call Russia for some money!

Ring, Ring!

Hello, this Peggy.....

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:29 | 1663517 TradingJoe
TradingJoe's picture

Ahh Sheep, a new level of dispair I assume, "offering" to buy bonds that will never be issued, eh?!

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:32 | 1663519 falak pema
falak pema's picture

Hello Dolly, how is your clonish life evolving? Niet Niet, we don't think we will win the rugby world cup in NZ. Da, da, David Cameron is a KGB operative since many long years. Dusvidanya, Dolly, Gee golly miss Molly, are you offering me your cloned PMs for my cloned Oil futures? You know the arctic soup, russian first quality oil borst, is looking very good. And then we have know the thing that makes Frau Merkel belch. But at least it isn't frak gas like in USA which lights up Clinton's old cigar! So when the North project works I can buy those Euro bonds with the money I make selling gas to Merkozy!

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:22 | 1663476 Jim in MN
Jim in MN's picture

Just heard this:  Brandenburg and the Kingdom of Naples are joining with Spanish Netherlands to bail out Sardinia, Livonia and Upper Silesia!

We're saved!

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:22 | 1663477 Ramboy
Ramboy's picture

it is real.  it's called short covering the herd.


Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:22 | 1663478 espirit
espirit's picture

Chit chat during game of "pass the hot potato".

Anxious for the music to stop and the algo's feast upon one another.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:44 | 1663588 youngman
youngman's picture

Exactly...that is how I feel....its all pretty talk hard facts...all is good...until the music stops....but I know in some back room there is somthing going on....

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:24 | 1663479 MFL8240
MFL8240's picture

Russia is gonna bailout Europe?  With what?  There economy is weak, their currency is junk and their only export is Oil.  Where the hell does all this bullshit end?  I am so tired of the games it just makes me sick.

Where is the US??  Of course, I can answer that myslef, we are in worse shape than Europe and have an outright clown in charge who is too busy campaigning to bother with trivial matters like the middle east or Europe. 

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:29 | 1663513 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

Russia know shitty bonds, they were higher than Greece yields during the 1998 crisis.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:23 | 1663482 jmcadg
jmcadg's picture

Imagine Europe being beholden to Russia. Oh sorry they already desparately need their gas and oil.

Just get on with expelling Greece, then we can enjoy seeing Italy go the same way. But Euro 1.37. ridiculous

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:23 | 1663483 strangeglove
strangeglove's picture

America buys Mexico and Canada spins off California and RI in reverse Ipo

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:24 | 1663484 Belarus
Belarus's picture

let me get this straight: if anything is saved, it will be digital confetti printers, which can only cover up the problem for so long. Yet, who are the fuctards in europe buying the DAX CAC and FTSE today over Gold and Silver which are getting flogged in comparision? 

Yes, when it makes no sense, make the fucking trade.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:25 | 1663488 HurricaneSeason
HurricaneSeason's picture

Who is going to rescue the U.S.? I thought Japan bought $1 trillion IOUs over 10 years and China bought $1 trillion over 5 years and the federal reserve bought $1/2 trillion over 6 months and nobody is buying now. Isn't that a probem or are household purchases stepping in? China used to buy $30 billion a month in IOUs and mortgage backed securities, but now we need someone to buy $100 billion a month or more. I think the federal reserve is happy to step away from the table with the trillions they've already loaned (that they probably didn't have) and wait for interest rates to go up and not look like bad guys and lose it all.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:26 | 1663494 TSA gropee
TSA gropee's picture

Merkel is done for. The Germans want a leader that leads, is proactive and has charisma, someone on the order of Carl Zu Guttenberg or the like. The goal of this "crisis" is a united states of Europe probably based on 10 ethnic  areas, and imho nothing will stand in the way of that effort.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:31 | 1663529 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

They had one, but ol Adolf went a little funny in the head and things didn't work out as planned.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:25 | 1663496 kaa1016
kaa1016's picture

Full retard is the mental state to be in on planet Bizarro. I fucking swear this is beyond isane...

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