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European Rumormill Goes Full Retard

Submitted by Tyler Durden on 09/13/2011 10:05 -0400

Update: Italy Hasn’t Asked for Any Help From China, Deputy Min Says... Yeah. Full Retard

Wondering why stocks are soaring and the EURUSD is above 1.37 again? Why, nothing short of the latest rumor, this time that Russia will bail out Europe. Bloomberg reports that Russia may use its international reserves to buy common euro-area bonds if European policy makers back joint debt issuance, Reuters reported, citing an interview with Finance Minister Alexei Kudrin... Sorry, we just report them. Time for the trader diary to get its latest update. The only problem we see with this strategy of rolling daily bailouts is that after China and Russia, who would be far smarter to participate in a stalking horse bid of European assets than to invest general unsecured pre-petition claims, there will be nobody left to "rescue" Europe: after all who else is out there? Zimbabwe? Japan? Argentina? Iceland? We doubt even the 80286's will buy that...

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Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:26 | 1663498 JW n FL

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aWY-FHRLrdc

StateWars-The Last Hope Obi Ron

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:35 | 1663549 JW n FL

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDsnd9xAxyA

Israel Could Partner With Terrorists To Fight Turkey

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 11:22 | 1663746 JW n FL

Uploaded by RussiaToday on Sep 13, 2011

This week Max Keiser and co-host, Stacy Herbert, discuss psyops in the gold market, Tony Blair's con job in Libya and Jamie Dimon's 'patriotic' bailout in America. In the second half of the show Max talks to Nick Verbitsky, director of "Confidence Game," a film that explores the last week in the life of investment bank Bear Stearns.

KR on FB: www.facebook.com/KeiserReport

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AXuTSLoi374

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:26 | 1663499 Confucious 222

China? Russia?? Ridiculous!!!

We all know it will be untold generations of US TAXPAYERS who will fund, at long last, every penny the Bankster Cartel demands, worldwide, whenever, as, and most assuredly, if, they do.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:26 | 1663502 NEOSERF

Amazing, to think that a country like Russia who very publicly has moved out of Ponzi US bonds would even CONSIDER buying eurotrash is ridiculous but the amazing thing is that enough morons think this is real and are buying. They deserve everything they get when this collapses..

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:59 | 1663505 SheepDog-One

WELCOME back my friends to the show that never ends!

We're so glad you could attend, come inside, come inside!

Come inside, the shows about to start!

Guaranteed to blow your brain apart!

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:27 | 1663506 crash_davis

putin can ride in on a harley with bags full of freshly printed euros. He will be topless so that the russian women can swoon while europe grovels.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:27 | 1663508 Motley Fool

In soviet russia, bailout buys you.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:28 | 1663510 Bastiat009

It may time to remove those people.

Seriously, this casino impacts real people, with real lives in the real world.

I have had enough to struggle to find a job, to pay taxes, to follow stupid and intrusive restrictions because of idiotic politicians, moronic bankers and sycophantic journalists.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:28 | 1663511 AngryGerman

Bunga-bunga: don't need your chinese money, already got your noodles!

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:28 | 1663512 alien-IQ

If you think these rumors are insane...just wait til they close in Europe.

Fed Zombies from outer space...

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:30 | 1663515 Kina

Corrupt bitches in corrupt banks daily go about corrupting silver and gold markets aided by corrupt officials within corrupt regulatory bodies appointed by corrupt congressmen owned by corrupt bankers.

The corrupt Fed daily corrupts stocks through their corrupt proxies aided by a corrupt SEC all of whom are self-sucking to the latest AKB48 hits.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:30 | 1663521 sushi

Record 46.2 million Americans below poverty line: U.S. Census

----

Most of them were investing in these markets.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:30 | 1663524 TradingJoe

Them "Zeuro-Bonds" will never be issued boys, gees how much more dispair until it comes down to SLEEP!?

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:30 | 1663525 DogSlime

This is fucking hilarious. If someone produced a fictional comedy where this crap happened, it would be dismissed as utterly unrealistic and far-fetched.

Unbelievable!

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:32 | 1663539 drider

But it would sell like hot cakes!

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:32 | 1663531 willien1derland

Newsflash from the North Pole Financial Alliance - Santa Claus announced that he, the Easter Bunny, & the Taliban will also purchase common euro-area bonds for their pension funds if European policy makers back joint debt issuance!

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:32 | 1663535 Reptil

Some musical illustration; from Greece (of course).

http://www.dumpert.nl/mediabase/1701311/47c09d1a/piano_spelen_met_uw_kla...

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:33 | 1663541 monopoly

This is beyond ridiculous. Steven Spielberg could not make this up.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:35 | 1663547 alien-IQ

This is a film only Ed Wood could make.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:48 | 1663615 Id fight Gandhi

If only Hunter s Thompson was still alive.

Fear and loathing in the eurozone.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:34 | 1663543 Central Wanker

... and free Vodka for all!!!

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:36 | 1663553 pappyhlace

things will get worse before they get better

i'll take my chances on the short side

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:57 | 1663642 DogSlime

things will get worse before they get better

Edit: Strikethrough doesn't seem to work :P

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:37 | 1663558 Hedgetard55

What's next, Polish winged hussars riding to the rescue, again?

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 11:44 | 1663857 Rodent Freikorps

Did someone say Hussars?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jFi7bWkyRpA

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:38 | 1663562 YesWeKahn

This is quite simple, some big hands want to get out of equities. Therefore they use all means to keep the market alive.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:38 | 1663565 milanitaly

Update: Italy Hasn’t Asked for Any Help From China, Deputy Min Says...

In fact we have only besought them

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:41 | 1663577 Dingleberry

So is the MANIPULATION finally coming to an end??? Or will we throw more good money after bad? Lucky for TPTB that football started, otherwise the masses might get restless.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:41 | 1663579 Zola

Apparently, RUMOR has it that French banks are cold calling customers offering 5pct interest rate on deposit - yeahhhh ! Deposit flight northern rock anyone ?

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 11:01 | 1663660 CvlDobd

Wachovia had some 4+% CDs in 08

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:42 | 1663580 Dog Daze

what happened to sell the rumour and buy the news.....or is that now the other way around?

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:42 | 1663581 vast-dom

Europe upgraded to FULL-ON FUCKTARD status.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:42 | 1663583 hunglow

Can't the paper tiger just make their own cappuccino coffee since they already make the machines.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:44 | 1663593 BarryG

The rumours are press manipulation by Germany.

http://germanywatch.blogspot.com/2011/08/is-germany-purposely-spooking-markets.html

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:46 | 1663603 gofigure

Once you go full retard you never come back.

Jr. was at his best..

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:51 | 1663626 New American Re...

China? Russia? Maybe interested in buying a nations assets, but adding good money into a bottomless rathole? I think they'd throw their money into boats. It's the same thing, but at least you get to go for a ride on the water instead of under it.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:54 | 1663640 FranSix

WTF?

NOBODY posted the 'Full Retard' skit?

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/5644433/tropic_thunder_film_clip_nobody_goes_full_retard/

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 14:10 | 1664476 Deadpool

Hey! that's American retardation. Not to be co-mingled, commie prick!!

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:55 | 1663644 Wolf in the Wilds

Anything to get the algos to ramp up stocks, even though any halfwit with any sense would know none of this wil occur. What a bloody joke of a market.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 11:46 | 1663870 Youri Carma

No Signs of China Bulls in Italy’s Debt Market

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 12:05 | 1663957 Downtoolong

Yesterday China, today the Russians, tomorrow Iceland will come to save us all.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 12:16 | 1663995 ziggy59

controlled finanacial demolition aka Goldilox meets the 5 BIG PIIGS

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 14:09 | 1664474 Deadpool

as a European retard (or one that has friends that are) I'm offended by this headline. just kidding, sort of, not really. maybe.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 14:59 | 1664705 Flatchestynerdette

I'm not "in" so I have no dog to hunt. I just want to ask those on the buy/long side: WHY? how stupid can you be? day traders - yeah, i can see that, ride the wave, but that's retail, so this crap is brought to you by JPMBAWFC desks. And they're pushing their clients to buy into it. Je non suis shocked.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 21:06 | 1665778 moxia19

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European Rumormill Goes Full Retard

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