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Europe's Parabolic-est: German TARGET2 Total Hits €700 Billion

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Dear German readers: please earmuff your eyes.

Everyone else: please check back in 3-6 months when the Bundesbank's (i.e. Germany) uncollectable "claims" from the Eurosystem hit €1 trillion, following the May increase of €54.4 billion, the third highest monthly increase on record, bringing the total of just shy of €700 billion.

 

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Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:20 | 2506857 Peter K
Peter K's picture

Winning :)

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:26 | 2506883 jazze
jazze's picture

Look at Luxembourg's Target2, its the equivalent of around EUR200k per man woman and child!

 

Wooo for parabolic charts!

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:29 | 2506899 malikai
malikai's picture

<-- Next FED printing will be via MBS purchases.

<-- Next FED printing will be via Tbill purchases.

 

Quick quiz.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:38 | 2506939 Chief KnocAHoma
Chief KnocAHoma's picture

Um... I was told there would no math in this debate.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:41 | 2506945 malikai
malikai's picture

I guess my question is stupid. It's like I'm asking which kind of dogshit the FED will be buying. Does it really matter if it's from a poodle or a rott?

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:42 | 2506951 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Why buy any more when theyve already monetized everything under the sun?

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:50 | 2506975 LeBalance
LeBalance's picture

THE SUN!!

Go for the monetization of the SUN.

SD1 Super Genius!

:)

 

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:54 | 2506987 malikai
malikai's picture

The Sun is one thing I can guarantee the FED will never buy. It's too productive of an asset. Now, in another 4 billion years who knows..

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 10:46 | 2507245 xtop23
xtop23's picture

Solyndra.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:45 | 2506958 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

<== The FED will counterfeit by buying dogshit

<== The FED will counterfeit by buying dogshit

 

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:53 | 2506969 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

So many options so hard to choose....AHHHhhhhh....I can't fucking take it somebody choose for me!

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:49 | 2506973 malikai
malikai's picture

LOL. Perfect.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 11:22 | 2507421 Steroid
Steroid's picture

They have to package it first.

Call it preowned dog food at least.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:26 | 2506887 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

REUTERS:

Greece sends New Dawn leader to Frankfurt to "clear up" the "TARGET2 thing" directly with Jens Weidman.  

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:31 | 2506912 brooklynlou
brooklynlou's picture

Cause when a new Nazi talks to an old Nazi, everything gets magically cleared up. (eyes roll)

They'll probably go to some beer hall in Bavaria and get their ass kicked in a bar fight ...

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 10:07 | 2507032 Peter K
Peter K's picture

The National Socialists (let's call a spade a spade) actually got along well with thier Euroland puppet government. The puppets kept on getting into trouble militarily, and the Germans kept on bailing them out.

Hey, kind of like today. :)

Some things never change! :))))))

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:21 | 2506859 Ivanovich
Ivanovich's picture

Cue "Hitler Finds Out About Target2 Balances" youtube adaptation video.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:24 | 2506879 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

How the heck can you put 100 divisions on the border of another county and still "surprise them"? Eh, forget that.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 10:47 | 2507250 Kayman
Kayman's picture

BlitzKrieg, Shock and Awe ?

Won't be necessary this time.  The Euro was the Trojan Horse.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:21 | 2506864 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

Is today the day??

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:24 | 2506877 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

No, today is the day for the rumour about a rumour about a plan to

make a plan to fix this mess.

Monday will probably be the day

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:26 | 2506888 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

No, today is the day for the rumour about a rumour about a plan to

make a plan to fix this mess that was fixed two years ago according to reports.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:28 | 2506906 valley chick
valley chick's picture

Can Kick Friday!!

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:40 | 2506944 Chief KnocAHoma
Chief KnocAHoma's picture

Too many cans... too few feet.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:49 | 2506970 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

Yo central bank is so poor........

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:51 | 2506976 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

.....I saw him kicking a can down the street, I asked what he was doing, he said "Easing".

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 10:48 | 2507259 Kayman
Kayman's picture

They want your Grandkids to pay for the road extension.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:52 | 2506979 sockratte
sockratte's picture

this weekend maybe? right time now, since the european soccer championship starts. ;-)

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:22 | 2506868 Peter K
Peter K's picture

Oh, and one more thing. The USD swap lines from the Fed should also be superimposed on the Target2 graph. After all, it is the offshore funding source equivalent for the Euroland.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:23 | 2506869 GolfHatesMe
GolfHatesMe's picture

That is a fuckload of Towels

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:23 | 2506872 monopoly
monopoly's picture

And the German people put up with this shit. Just so they can stay in the Euro community. Germany does not need them. I really thought they were smarter than us, or not as dumb as us.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:25 | 2506881 LULZBank
LULZBank's picture

Germany does not need them.

Who will the hardworking Germans be exporting to then?

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:27 | 2506895 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Yes, moreover, how many oil fields are there in Germany again?

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:34 | 2506923 LULZBank
LULZBank's picture

Did they not finish the Berlin to Baghdad railway line?

Asking Germany to bailout Europe is like asking a restaurant owner to give more free cash to its indebted and broke customers while praising the restaurant owner for his brilliant business model and hardworking staff.

But okay, lets not spoil the party with common sense.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 10:04 | 2507014 ThirdWorldDude
ThirdWorldDude's picture

Remember Nord Stream?  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nord_Stream

 

Screw EU, Germany has already picked their side...

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 10:52 | 2507276 Kayman
Kayman's picture

How many oilfields are there in Greece, Spain, Portugal, Italy and Ireland ?

Selling cars on credit and never getting paid isn't such a good model either ?

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:30 | 2506907 Quintus
Quintus's picture

Exporting to and vendor financing.

Easy to sell stuff to people when you are also lending them the money to buy your products.

The problem only comes when you ask for the money back and they don't have it.  The German export miracle is becoming a nightmare fast.  Turns out it's mostly been a big circle-jerk all along.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:33 | 2506922 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Yep, they fucked up and should have left well-enough alone.  Keep pretending to lend them "money" and they will keep pretending to pay it back.  

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 10:28 | 2507135 Manthong
Manthong's picture

International Ponzi Finance is like a tennis game.. the vendor financing ball might be back in Japan and China's court sooner that most folks expect.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:35 | 2506927 youngman
youngman's picture

This is kind of like the China USA thingamagig......

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 10:30 | 2507146 Manthong
Manthong's picture

If I had read one more post down...

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:35 | 2506929 LULZBank
LULZBank's picture

Turns out it's mostly been a big circle-jerk all along.

Ahh ... the feeling I got when I first studied economics and finance!

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:55 | 2506991 sockratte
sockratte's picture

best i read today:

BoE's Haldane says it is time to rethink how financial system works

and i always thought financial systems are designed and defined by human...

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:37 | 2506931 scatterbrains
scatterbrains's picture

They'll look inward and begin manufacturing tanks/jets/ships/subs and other military hardware for their own account.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 10:40 | 2507206 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Yes, so long as supply lines hold.  Some things never change, and when real goods and serices stop crossing boarders, troops will.  Now how did that work out for everyone last time?

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 12:12 | 2507619 JR
JR's picture

The Germans will export to customers who can pay for it. Doesn’t that settle it? BTW, Deutsche Bank is not German; it’s Wall Street.

Sat, 06/09/2012 - 01:46 | 2509709 Nussi34
Nussi34's picture

Markets outside the Euroupne are more attractive anyways. btw there are 34 countries in Europe to export to that are not part of the Eurozone!

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:28 | 2506896 bshirley1968
bshirley1968's picture

Just like here, dummy, the people have little to no say.  Just because you have a "vote" doesn't mean jack shit.  Take a look around.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:24 | 2506874 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

Zee pain in Spain falls mainly on zee Germains.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:27 | 2506893 valley chick
valley chick's picture

Zee pain in Spain, Portugal, Ireland, Italy, Greece falls mainly on zee Germans.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:26 | 2506885 monopoly
monopoly's picture

Spare me. Obama to speak on the economy at 10:15. That will be good for at least another -50 on DOW. He just does not get it. Go back to Chicago and leave us alone.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:31 | 2506910 pods
pods's picture

I think he gets it, he just cannot tell us.  

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:32 | 2506918 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

I think he gets it too,but I think it's more sinister than not being able to tell us.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:43 | 2506952 BeetleBailey
BeetleBailey's picture

He:

Does not get it - never did.

Does not care - never has.

Has his words carefully crafted by others, who are really in charge.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:52 | 2506982 kridkrid
kridkrid's picture

that distinction doesn't really matter.  Our recent run of presidents have all been puppets for the people who are really in charge.  I suppose you could make a case for GHWB being a part of the criminal syndicate... less of a puppet.  Prior to that, you would likely need to go back to JFK, and look where that got him.

The point that is important is the likelihood that they know exactly what is going on... and have been preparing for it all for some time now. 

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:40 | 2506942 kridkrid
kridkrid's picture

and people who think otherwise are fools... which is most everyone.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 10:00 | 2507003 pods
pods's picture

I could only imagine being the president.  Just seeing the information publicly available is enough to keep you up at night.

I would be doped up worse than Elvis if the first thing I had to do in the morning was listen to how they have found another 8 holes in the dike.

You have to be an egomaniac to want that job.  

And your ego has to overwhelm your intelligence.  So the smarter the president, the scarier it actually is.

Most inteligent but grounded people would walk out after the first briefing and promptly GTFOOD (Get the Fuck out of dodge).

pods

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 10:02 | 2507013 Peter K
Peter K's picture

Ugh.... Delusional :(

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 12:19 | 2507635 JR
JR's picture

Good post! But i don't think Bush or Obama were intelligent enough to walk out. And Obama's ego, spanning the continents, can overcome almost any deficiency - making him the perfect puppet for the banking cartel.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:27 | 2506889 CcalSD
CcalSD's picture

Time to crank up those EUR printing presses in Frankfurt!

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:27 | 2506890 orangedrinkandchips
orangedrinkandchips's picture

You can't get blood out of a turnip!

my mother's favorite saying.....cliches and stereotypes can be cruel but man, are they right on

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:31 | 2506911 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Yes.  Nature makes no promises regarding anyone's survival, especially in a lawless land.  As long as the paper-pushers are going to steal the value of all our labor I am starting to think that a well-armed society might at least be a bit more polite.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:27 | 2506892 Central Wanker
Central Wanker's picture

Germans should exit euro NOW and implement strict capital controls to prevent the TARGET2 money from flowing back. 

That should be fun to watch.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:28 | 2506905 Peter K
Peter K's picture

They can't. They gave up their military to pay for all the social spending:(

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:31 | 2506913 Central Wanker
Central Wanker's picture

Scheisse...

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:32 | 2506916 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Yes, meanwhile Americans are having their freedoms stripped to keep the military industrial complex going.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:43 | 2506953 kridkrid
kridkrid's picture

A vicious cycle.  More might requires more might, with both our imperial pursuits as well as our police state.  Like every other exponential curve we find ourselves on, the slope is getting steep.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 10:00 | 2507007 Peter K
Peter K's picture

But at the end of the day, might does make right. And that goes for the exponential curves:)

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 10:07 | 2507031 kridkrid
kridkrid's picture

Until it doesn't... then look the fuck out.  America is here --->>> X

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 10:13 | 2507054 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

As I stated above, precisely why I am starting to think that so long as the paper-pushers are going to steal the value of our labor anyway, at least a well-armed society might be a bit more polite.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 10:31 | 2507156 Peter K
Peter K's picture

God bless America:)

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:49 | 2506974 Chief KnocAHoma
Chief KnocAHoma's picture

Not true... we have to keep our military in tact because, as we have seen... the rest of you ass holes refuse to play nice. 

Don't believe me, ask an 80 year old European Jew. Or a 40 year old Kurd. If you can find a literate North Korean, ask them. There are also some Venezuelans you may to ask, or some Cubans. 

Then of course there are those Muslems and their affection for flying planes into civilian targets. Plus their quest to kill every last Christian.

Yeah... the World would be a much safer place without the US military.

 

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:55 | 2506990 kridkrid
kridkrid's picture

You should unplug and question some of your assumptions.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 10:03 | 2507020 Chief KnocAHoma
Chief KnocAHoma's picture

I junked you, not because you challenged me, but because you seem childish and imature.

Plus... I'm rubber and you're glue...

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 10:10 | 2507044 kridkrid
kridkrid's picture

:-)

I know you are, but what am I.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XOGWbzUM-y8

 

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 10:10 | 2507047 LULZBank
LULZBank's picture

+1

Not because you're smart but because you're funny.

Keep it up :)

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 10:19 | 2507070 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

With all the information that is out there on precisely how America has been "playing" in the middle East for 40+ years, let me guess.  I imagine you also ask yourself "why is our oil under their sand?".  

Grow up, you sound like a political puppet who plays on people's fears and refuses to have an adult conversation.  Here is a hint, those "muslems" are equivalent to the "jews" of old.  Go look up what "blowback" means.

Oh and by the way, if unemployment keeps going up, it won't be someone 6,000 miles away that you should be concerned about.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:28 | 2506900 Global Hunter
Global Hunter's picture

Is that chart a projection of FB free cash flow, USA GDP or the amount of new green jobs that Obama will bring to America in his next term?  /sarc

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:28 | 2506904 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

What a fucking insane set of liabilities to have to back up.  

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:32 | 2506914 RobotTrader
RobotTrader's picture

Wow, look at the 10-yr. yields in U.S., Germany, Japan.

 

Clearly these idiots are not printing fast enough! What are they thinking?  They could print trillions and start handing out checks to consumers.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:35 | 2506926 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

 

They could print trillions and start handing out checks to consumers.

 

Don't worry Robo that's coming up in the next 2012 vote buying er I meant economic stimulus bill.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 10:02 | 2507017 pods
pods's picture

Robo, they are not printing at all.

It is called BORROWING when there is debt attached.

pods

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 10:22 | 2507099 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Pods,

But what if the interest rate is ZERO?  Isn't that the same as printing since no interest is being accumulated?

Do you really beieve that there is no cost for capital, even if no real value is being created.

Sounds a lot like capital mis-allocation and mal-investment to me.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:33 | 2506921 debtor of last ...
debtor of last resort's picture

At least ze Germans can retire at 52.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:35 | 2506925 Stax Edwards
Stax Edwards's picture

Completely OT:

The 'Motif' investing (click-through ad on my ZH right now) is really intriguing. Not endorsing it, as I just now started looking at it.  My initial impression is that this is a very very clever idea.  

If it is on your screen I encourage you to click on it and check it out.

They are providing a diversified way to invest in 'an idea' with one commission. Anybody have any business dealing with them or know what the fine print/pitfalls are?

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:46 | 2506960 Terminus C
Terminus C's picture

I personally like the NOVA investment advert:  Hugo and I'madinnerjecket holding hands... apparently they don't want us to invest.

But if we were good, patriotic people we wouldn't do what they wanted would we?  We SHOULD INVEST RIGHT NOW!!!!! PUT ALL YOUR 'MONEY' IN THE STOCK MARKET TO THWART THE TERRORIST REGIMES!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111ONEONEoneeleventyone!

I don't know whether to laugh or vomit...

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:36 | 2506932 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Last time the Germans averted their eyes......ah nevermind.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:41 | 2506949 Stock Tips Inve...
Stock Tips Investment's picture

I think we're about to see a large earthquake. I hope we are prepared to resist it.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 10:03 | 2507018 Henry Chinaski
Henry Chinaski's picture

The earthquake was 4 years ago and we are waiting on the tsunami.  There's no resisting a tsunami, but you can move to high ground.  If you can see it on the horizon, it is probably too late.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:43 | 2506955 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

DEUTSCHLAND IST TOTAL GEFICKT!

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:54 | 2506981 spanish inquisition
spanish inquisition's picture

Remember the story about the German tourist who puts a 100 Euro on the desk of a Greek inn? The owner runs around and pays the butcher, who pays the hooker... etc and everyone is out of debt. It is the same story, now with an American tourist in Germany to bail out Europe.

The story is getting interesting, because American innkeepers are wondering who is coming to stay in their town..

 

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:53 | 2506983 Galactic Superwave
Galactic Superwave's picture

Another parabolic curve to add to the large and fast growing set of parabolic curves in the world of finance.

 

Where do parabolic curves go when they die?

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:54 | 2506988 luckylongshot
luckylongshot's picture

And this results in David Cameron, who leads a country with 5 Trillion pounds of debt coming to Berlin to advise Angela Merkel on what to do...the entire Rothshild controlled part of the world ist total gefiickt!!!!

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:58 | 2506995 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Time to lay into the sovereign CDS for "gefickte Deutschland"

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 10:08 | 2507034 falak pema
falak pema's picture

uncollectable claims are like unavoidable dames; they always get you in the end. 

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 10:31 | 2507121 The Watchman
The Watchman's picture

I'm tired of all these compound exponential functions that are reaching their foregone conclusions. We are at the mathematical precipice where the numbers start to get really big, really fast. Buckle up kids, the ride is straight up from here. That is until it isn't.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 10:47 | 2507252 Monedas
Monedas's picture

Nothing bad can happen when Hillary "GravitASS" Clinton is meeting with Kofi "World Class Negro Heavyweight" Annan ?  Maybe they will share a Nobel Peace Prize ?       Monedas     1929      "The Nobel prize ain't what it used to be....back before they invented Dynamite !"....Yogi Berra

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 13:53 | 2507986 WVO Biker
WVO Biker's picture

Forget moral hazard et al. Had they listened to Neue Zürcher Zeitung in the 90s then there would be no €. But now is now. So much debt that is not collectable. They did not let the banks bite the bullet which would have been just.

But why let the people suffer ???

Why not change the ECB rules and let it buy that toxic waste and stash it away for good?

This must be a stupid question because it is the first that comes to mind. Someone lighten me up in one or three sentences please. Thanks.  

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 14:13 | 2508070 trilliontroll
trilliontroll's picture

Heliom flash (death of a star)

"...

This runaway reaction quickly climbs to about 100 billion times the star's normal energy production (for a few seconds) until the increased temperature again renders thermal pressure dominant, eliminating the degeneracy. ...

"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helium_flash

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