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Europe's Parabolic-est: German TARGET2 Total Hits €700 Billion

Tyler Durden's picture


Dear German readers: please earmuff your eyes.

Everyone else: please check back in 3-6 months when the Bundesbank's (i.e. Germany) uncollectable "claims" from the Eurosystem hit €1 trillion, following the May increase of €54.4 billion, the third highest monthly increase on record, bringing the total of just shy of €700 billion.

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Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:20 | 2506857 Peter K
Peter K's picture

Winning :)

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:26 | 2506883 jazze
jazze's picture

Look at Luxembourg's Target2, its the equivalent of around EUR200k per man woman and child!


Wooo for parabolic charts!

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:29 | 2506899 malikai
malikai's picture

<-- Next FED printing will be via MBS purchases.

<-- Next FED printing will be via Tbill purchases.


Quick quiz.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:38 | 2506939 Chief KnocAHoma
Chief KnocAHoma's picture

Um... I was told there would no math in this debate.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:41 | 2506945 malikai
malikai's picture

I guess my question is stupid. It's like I'm asking which kind of dogshit the FED will be buying. Does it really matter if it's from a poodle or a rott?

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:42 | 2506951 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Why buy any more when theyve already monetized everything under the sun?

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:50 | 2506975 LeBalance
LeBalance's picture


Go for the monetization of the SUN.

SD1 Super Genius!



Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:54 | 2506987 malikai
malikai's picture

The Sun is one thing I can guarantee the FED will never buy. It's too productive of an asset. Now, in another 4 billion years who knows..

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 10:46 | 2507245 xtop23
xtop23's picture


Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:45 | 2506958 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

<== The FED will counterfeit by buying dogshit

<== The FED will counterfeit by buying dogshit


Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:53 | 2506969 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

So many options so hard to choose....AHHHhhhhh....I can't fucking take it somebody choose for me!

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:49 | 2506973 malikai
malikai's picture

LOL. Perfect.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 11:22 | 2507421 Steroid
Steroid's picture

They have to package it first.

Call it preowned dog food at least.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:26 | 2506887 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture


Greece sends New Dawn leader to Frankfurt to "clear up" the "TARGET2 thing" directly with Jens Weidman.  

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:31 | 2506912 brooklynlou
brooklynlou's picture

Cause when a new Nazi talks to an old Nazi, everything gets magically cleared up. (eyes roll)

They'll probably go to some beer hall in Bavaria and get their ass kicked in a bar fight ...

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 10:07 | 2507032 Peter K
Peter K's picture

The National Socialists (let's call a spade a spade) actually got along well with thier Euroland puppet government. The puppets kept on getting into trouble militarily, and the Germans kept on bailing them out.

Hey, kind of like today. :)

Some things never change! :))))))

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:21 | 2506859 Ivanovich
Ivanovich's picture

Cue "Hitler Finds Out About Target2 Balances" youtube adaptation video.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:24 | 2506879 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

How the heck can you put 100 divisions on the border of another county and still "surprise them"? Eh, forget that.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 10:47 | 2507250 Kayman
Kayman's picture

BlitzKrieg, Shock and Awe ?

Won't be necessary this time.  The Euro was the Trojan Horse.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:21 | 2506864 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

Is today the day??

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:24 | 2506877 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

No, today is the day for the rumour about a rumour about a plan to

make a plan to fix this mess.

Monday will probably be the day

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:26 | 2506888 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

No, today is the day for the rumour about a rumour about a plan to

make a plan to fix this mess that was fixed two years ago according to reports.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:28 | 2506906 valley chick
valley chick's picture

Can Kick Friday!!

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:40 | 2506944 Chief KnocAHoma
Chief KnocAHoma's picture

Too many cans... too few feet.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:49 | 2506970 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

Yo central bank is so poor........

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:51 | 2506976 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

.....I saw him kicking a can down the street, I asked what he was doing, he said "Easing".

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 10:48 | 2507259 Kayman
Kayman's picture

They want your Grandkids to pay for the road extension.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:52 | 2506979 sockratte
sockratte's picture

this weekend maybe? right time now, since the european soccer championship starts. ;-)

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:22 | 2506868 Peter K
Peter K's picture

Oh, and one more thing. The USD swap lines from the Fed should also be superimposed on the Target2 graph. After all, it is the offshore funding source equivalent for the Euroland.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:23 | 2506869 GolfHatesMe
GolfHatesMe's picture

That is a fuckload of Towels

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:23 | 2506872 monopoly
monopoly's picture

And the German people put up with this shit. Just so they can stay in the Euro community. Germany does not need them. I really thought they were smarter than us, or not as dumb as us.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:25 | 2506881 LULZBank
LULZBank's picture

Germany does not need them.

Who will the hardworking Germans be exporting to then?

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:27 | 2506895 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Yes, moreover, how many oil fields are there in Germany again?

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:34 | 2506923 LULZBank
LULZBank's picture

Did they not finish the Berlin to Baghdad railway line?

Asking Germany to bailout Europe is like asking a restaurant owner to give more free cash to its indebted and broke customers while praising the restaurant owner for his brilliant business model and hardworking staff.

But okay, lets not spoil the party with common sense.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 10:04 | 2507014 ThirdWorldDude
ThirdWorldDude's picture

Remember Nord Stream?  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nord_Stream


Screw EU, Germany has already picked their side...

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 10:52 | 2507276 Kayman
Kayman's picture

How many oilfields are there in Greece, Spain, Portugal, Italy and Ireland ?

Selling cars on credit and never getting paid isn't such a good model either ?

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:30 | 2506907 Quintus
Quintus's picture

Exporting to and vendor financing.

Easy to sell stuff to people when you are also lending them the money to buy your products.

The problem only comes when you ask for the money back and they don't have it.  The German export miracle is becoming a nightmare fast.  Turns out it's mostly been a big circle-jerk all along.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:33 | 2506922 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Yep, they fucked up and should have left well-enough alone.  Keep pretending to lend them "money" and they will keep pretending to pay it back.  

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 10:28 | 2507135 Manthong
Manthong's picture

International Ponzi Finance is like a tennis game.. the vendor financing ball might be back in Japan and China's court sooner that most folks expect.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:35 | 2506927 youngman
youngman's picture

This is kind of like the China USA thingamagig......

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 10:30 | 2507146 Manthong
Manthong's picture

If I had read one more post down...

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:35 | 2506929 LULZBank
LULZBank's picture

Turns out it's mostly been a big circle-jerk all along.

Ahh ... the feeling I got when I first studied economics and finance!

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:55 | 2506991 sockratte
sockratte's picture

best i read today:

BoE's Haldane says it is time to rethink how financial system works

and i always thought financial systems are designed and defined by human...

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:37 | 2506931 scatterbrains
scatterbrains's picture

They'll look inward and begin manufacturing tanks/jets/ships/subs and other military hardware for their own account.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 10:40 | 2507206 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Yes, so long as supply lines hold.  Some things never change, and when real goods and serices stop crossing boarders, troops will.  Now how did that work out for everyone last time?

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 12:12 | 2507619 JR
JR's picture

The Germans will export to customers who can pay for it. Doesn’t that settle it? BTW, Deutsche Bank is not German; it’s Wall Street.

Sat, 06/09/2012 - 01:46 | 2509709 Nussi34
Nussi34's picture

Markets outside the Euroupne are more attractive anyways. btw there are 34 countries in Europe to export to that are not part of the Eurozone!

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:28 | 2506896 bshirley1968
bshirley1968's picture

Just like here, dummy, the people have little to no say.  Just because you have a "vote" doesn't mean jack shit.  Take a look around.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:24 | 2506874 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



Zee pain in Spain falls mainly on zee Germains.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 09:27 | 2506893 valley chick
valley chick's picture

Zee pain in Spain, Portugal, Ireland, Italy, Greece falls mainly on zee Germans.

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