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Even Dilbert Gets It

Tyler Durden's picture


So why doesn't everyone else? And with a record $8.3 trillion in deposits in the US system currently, this is not even being metaphorical.

h/t dnarby


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Sat, 07/14/2012 - 10:46 | 2615556 Deo vindice
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Dilbert is a terrorist? Who would have thought it?

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 19:09 | 2615597 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture

"we plan to waste it on complicated hedging strategies that even we don't understand"

no, i don't think Dilbert "gets it"...

Bankers understand their own cons completely...

Too many still believe the Diamond lies of " I wasn't informed...I don't know what happened or how. I am SHOCKED etc" and believe that B.S.

Incredibly, there is still institutional respect and credibility across the land for these criminals (i.e. Jamie Dimon is a savvy investor who "earned" his millions)

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 19:35 | 2616512 veyron
veyron's picture

In all fairness Dimon did earn his money.  In the same way that mob bosses earn money.  

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 11:02 | 2615612 TWSceptic
TWSceptic's picture

Terrorist until proven not guilty.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 11:43 | 2615675 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture

"Not guilty"??

That implies courts and prosecutions......

no, it's more like "wrist-slaps" and "now run along and don't do that again...for a while....please?" isn't it??

You work at JPM?

Wanna hang out sometime?

Do you like Hockey?

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 11:46 | 2615714 TWSceptic
TWSceptic's picture

The point was that people are by default seen as (potential) terrorists, only after proving they are not guilty of that fact, the state will assume they aren't. I'm referring to TSA searches for example.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 11:51 | 2615723 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture


sorry T, i'm always a little cranky and slow in the morning till i get my 1st coffee and cig....


Sat, 07/14/2012 - 13:36 | 2615981's picture

Dude, if your reading ZH or doing anything other than taking a leak or a dump before your first cig and coffee then you ought to get your priorities straight.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 13:57 | 2616033 runlevel
runlevel's picture

... just woke up and got on ZH.. still need to shower and to smoke a bowl.. ut oh

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 14:15 | 2616072 runlevel
runlevel's picture

oh my did a drug warrior vote me down... lol

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 14:40 | 2616131 The Monkey
The Monkey's picture

Jamie Dimon. This is the make-up of the NY Fed: meglomanics that ass the buck.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 14:18 | 2616074 vast-dom
vast-dom's picture

Once OBummer and Co. label you Terrorist you are guilty. And you don't even have to be labelled -- just get out of line and you are guilty/terrorist/fucked.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 20:22 | 2616558 HungrySeagull
HungrySeagull's picture

And one day will be your last ever, as a missile comes down to take you out. No one will be safe.

Except the chosen ones.

We live in interesting times.

Disclaimer, I don't speak Terrorist.

BTW, deposits pass unnoticed via direct in the millions every day.

I wonder who is the bear sitting on the wire with a paw in the waters for money, uh salmon, yes salmon.

Sat, 08/18/2012 - 00:39 | 2716114 torabora
torabora's picture

Read Gravity's Rainbow

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 15:39 | 2616240 Silver Bug
Silver Bug's picture

Hopefully he can help wake up one or two of the sleeping masses.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 10:51 | 2615558 RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

What makes you think that those who read the cartoon will "get it"?

It's still not clear.   Do you realize how much research an average reader would have to do to understand "cross-selling"?   Then that leads one to the divining of the implications for the general well-being of the reader.  The arrogance of the financially literate is astounding.

Now, if sit-com starring Charlie Sheen could be developed on the thesis, all would be well.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 10:51 | 2615575 lostintheflood
lostintheflood's picture

i don't know what cross-selling is, but i "get it."

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 11:02 | 2615609 New_Meat
New_Meat's picture

cross-dressing at a different level ;-) - Ned

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 11:05 | 2615617 lostintheflood
lostintheflood's picture

i figured...but thanks for the link...isn't the internet a marvel...

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 11:18 | 2615647 RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

Sure, but as I pointed out, knowing what it is doesn't help much to the average fella in knowing what it causes.  It outrages the typical ZH reader but flies over the head of the lumpenproletariat.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 20:31 | 2616566 blunderdog
blunderdog's picture

Cross-selling is big business in some places.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 20:23 | 2616560 HungrySeagull
HungrySeagull's picture

Reading something such as a article in the old way with it's many words is difficult for some.

A comic can easily skim off the dross out of the crucible.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 10:48 | 2615562 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

I'd laugh it it wasn't so painfully true.  But I digress, where are the rioters?  Where is the revolution on this Bastille Day 2012?

Where the fuck is John Corzine? 

Stupid bloody sheep.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 11:03 | 2615613 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

The revolution doesn't start until the EBT cards have zero balance.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 11:23 | 2615662 Hype Alert
Hype Alert's picture

The stupid part is cutting off the EBT card before the crash

will be perceived as a scheme by the right to hurt the poor. 


Letting the system crash under the weight of EBT type payments

will be perceived as a scheme by the right to hurt the poor.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 20:32 | 2616569 blunderdog
blunderdog's picture

Any idea what the ratio of "EBT type payments" is to Medicare D?

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 12:52 | 2615875 ali-ali-al-qomfri
ali-ali-al-qomfri's picture


they will glitch those cards, as to crack the whip, to drive the sheople to the paddock.


Sat, 07/14/2012 - 14:35 | 2616116 Totentänzerlied
Totentänzerlied's picture

Celebrating Bastille Day is like celebrating Kristallnacht, the Cultural Revolution, or the Great Purge. Stupid bloody sheep indeed.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 10:48 | 2615565 TraderTimm
TraderTimm's picture

I would've added Bernanke in the background making copies, but I guess this comic is close enough.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 10:49 | 2615570 Capitalist
Capitalist's picture

"Here is your free Spiderman towel"

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 10:55 | 2615589 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

The towel is only "free" after lending money at a negative rate.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 10:51 | 2615577 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

Comedy and satire are the most powerful forms of social and poliitcal commentary....

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 10:54 | 2615583 RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

Lenny Bruce would have disagreed with you.  His story shows what happens when truth gets in the way of slap-stick humor.  Fart jokes will take one only so far when greater social truths are the goal.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 11:05 | 2615616 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

The exception proves the rule....

I'll raise you one Satyricon, and if you call, I'll come back with Dante and may choose to throw in a Twain or Carlin... 

Let us also not forget Galileo and his " Dialogue Concerning the Two Chief World Systems"....

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 11:28 | 2615660 RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

Looks like you won this hand.  You may now drag the pot.

Without a doubt Carlin was the absolute master, with Twain a close second.  All the others you mention are relevant only in retrospect.  Even in their day, they were the ZH of comprehension.  You forgot H. L. Mencken and Ambrose Bierce.  (Ooops, I just showed my hole cards.)

FINANCE, n. The art or science of managing revenues and resources for the best advantage of the manager. The pronunciation of this word with the i long and the accent on the first syllable is one of America's most precious discoveries and possessions.  -- A. Bierce

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 12:13 | 2615753 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

Very good hole cards indeed.... \hatttip

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 12:43 | 2615841 NumberNone
NumberNone's picture

Kind of forgotten but with a ton of keen political humor was Will Rogers..

"The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets"  - Will Rogers.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 13:10 | 2615919 Small Business Guy
Small Business Guy's picture

Will Rogers never met Obamacare.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 13:46 | 2616013 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

Call it for what it is...

A modest rework of RomneyCare which was based on the Republican counter to Hillary Care in the 1990s...

If it seems like a clusterfuck, well it is, only because it maintains coporate welfare for the Health Insurance companies (aka Medicare)...

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 16:07 | 2616283 Freewheelin Franklin
Freewheelin Franklin's picture

Hmmm, not a mention of Swift?

Here, in case you forgot:

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 16:38 | 2616322 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

Yes, Swift was a player in his time....

Omission implies no disrespect...

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 17:42 | 2616404 Freewheelin Franklin
Freewheelin Franklin's picture

Just bustin yer ballz

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 17:01 | 2616353 Arnold
Arnold's picture

Medicare cuts payments to doctors by 25% January 1.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 20:26 | 2616562 HungrySeagull
HungrySeagull's picture

Thank god half of the good old people have DIED prior to this Abomination called Obamacare.

I finished a medical procedure last week and the paperwork to sign has exploded both in number and legalese.

BTW, I pay cash when the bills come in.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 20:37 | 2616575 blunderdog
blunderdog's picture

   Without a doubt Carlin was the absolute master...

Love where you're going with all that, but to pick the nit: Bill Hicks was THE absolute master. 

He was prepared to die for his beliefs.  Carlin was phenomenal, but a tad too safe--he worked steady in the biz for near 50 years.

Hicks had a bad few years, for sure, but being a visionary doesn't often earn the best ratings.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 10:52 | 2615578 Hedge Hog
Hedge Hog's picture

How come there's no posting on the Visa-Mastercard $7.25bn "settlement" with retailers??? - story broke over 12hrs ago!


Also links in well to the Olympics; VISA being the official sponsor. I remember the great deal they got here in the UK; the ONLY way payment could be made to buy official Olympic tickets was with a VISA Debit/Credit card (no joke, made the news here) - proprietary currency! So it's now all fine WITHIN THE UK for VISA credit to have legal tender primacy over GBP STERLING??? .... sure there was supposed to be some "law" against some such.....

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 10:56 | 2615591 RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

Well, there you go again...  Falling back on the rule of law.  How quaint.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 11:16 | 2615637 iDealMeat
iDealMeat's picture

That's going to be awesome. They potentially have a industry ending decision there..  They've "green-lighted" retailers to charge additional fees to consumers.  J6P may not be very informed but they sure will notice a 2 to 3% increase in the bill from that fee. They may actually move to debit cards or even cash.  Retailers will try to pass on the fee but will ultimately have to eat it to keep the customers. 

Should be interesting to watch how it pans out.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 11:20 | 2615654 infinity8
infinity8's picture

TPTB don't want retailers hanging "Cash Discount" signs, that's for sure.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 11:35 | 2615698 iDealMeat
iDealMeat's picture

Nor can they collateralize the debt record.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 11:34 | 2615692 Hype Alert
Hype Alert's picture

Customers pay ALL taxes, fees and fines.  Period. 


For example: When the left says they are going to make the oil companies pay, only fools think that will happen.   And we have an awful lot of fools.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 13:51 | 2616001's picture

The left gets mad when you tell them that truth. Similarly the right gets mad if you tell that bombing other folks makes them want to bomb us in retaliation. And the funniest thing is when the right and left fight each other with great righteousness in order to force these failed ideas onto one and all.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 17:37 | 2616400 Coke and Hookers
Coke and Hookers's picture

The left doesn't seem to mind bombing as long as there's a leftist president doing the bombing. Who says Obama hasn't united left and right - at least to some extent.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 18:12 | 2616441's picture

True. And the right doesn't mind welfare as long as it's Reagan upping the FICA tax or Baby Bush expanding Medicare. You've really got to admire the consistently inconsistent actions of both parties.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 20:59 | 2616595 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

From "Big Jim" comment #2389626:

My next door neighbor had a bit of a beat-up car. So my brother (the sheriff) decided it was "a car without an owner, for an owner without a car!" which was very convenient for me, as I happened not to have a car of my own at the time.

I took the car away... and you know what?  My neighbor said it was his!!!  And when I had to shoot some of his family to facilitate removing them from my property, he had the temerity to buy some weapons, and get a few cousins along to shoot back at me!  Me!  In MY car!

Well!  Fortunately, he and his cousins aren't very good at this kind of thing, so I've managed to keep my property in my possession. I've done it up, a bit, too; replaced the tyres and given it a bit of a wax job.

Luckily, my sheriff brother asks (all right, makes) the other townsfolk contribute a lot of the funds necessary to do this.  As well as giving me lots of his weapons, which is just as well... my old 'neighbor' keeps insisting my car is his -  despite the beautiful wax job I gave it!

Meanwhile, I've also managed to get hold of an old motorcycle that was just lying around, and done that up a bit, too.  Well, you'll never guess... yes!  My neighbor is claiming that's his too!

What an extraordinary world we live in!

Sat, 08/18/2012 - 00:50 | 2716121 torabora
torabora's picture

What kind of motorcycle do you have?

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 12:50 | 2615864 Dr. No
Dr. No's picture

I actually support this.  Why should the government have a monopoly on what currency we are to use?  My guess you will see more of this.  It is good.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 13:43 | 2616004's picture

VISA payments are denominated in FRNs, are they not?

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 20:42 | 2616580 Dr. No
Dr. No's picture

For now.  BTW, my junkers are Federalists I presume.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 20:28 | 2616563 HungrySeagull
HungrySeagull's picture

I'll take Pound Sterling.

VISAs not wanted unless.. stack.... oh never mind.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 10:54 | 2615587 FieldingMellish
FieldingMellish's picture

Catbert is the Chairsatan. Dogbert is the bank's CEO.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 10:57 | 2615595 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Better be careful a comic like that could get you a knock on the door by men dressed in black suits.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 13:46 | 2616012's picture

I assume that you are not referring to Johnny Cash.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 10:59 | 2615600 Abner Doon
Abner Doon's picture

From a public records request of George Hartzman's Wells Fargo NC whistleblower filing

From an email sent to xxxyyy

Forwarded to Michael Mashburn, SEC and Daniel Stefek, FINRA- both of whom recieved NC Securities Division File No. 12 SEC 84, in late June, who spoke with George Hartzman during the second week of July

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 11:01 | 2615606 onebir
onebir's picture

Calling WB7!

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 11:24 | 2615666 BlackholeDivestment
BlackholeDivestment's picture

...hypothicated account 666 vapor, smells like Suicide Vampire Squid.


Sat, 07/14/2012 - 11:39 | 2615695 NumberNone
NumberNone's picture

Other topics for Dilbert:

"Sign here for your .000001% interest on your cash deposit.  Sign here for the 25% interest on your car loan"

"Thank you for your $100 deposit, with setup and handling fees, you now owe us another $10 + a $50 overdraft fee"

"That's fantastic Mr. Dilbert that you sacrificed and saved for 6 months in order to have this money deposit.  This bank's hedge fund manager would like to personally thank you for the new shammy you just bought for the cleaning of his Ferrari by his manservant"

"You give us $1, and voila we get to gamble with $1,000 thanks to fractional reserve banking..."


Sat, 07/14/2012 - 20:30 | 2616565 HungrySeagull
HungrySeagull's picture

Pretty soon Dilbert will have to BE a Manservant to work off the fees.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 11:51 | 2615724 d2themfi
d2themfi's picture

We're gonna put that in a money market mutual fund that reinvests in foreign currency accounts... And it's gone

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 12:19 | 2615773 Snakeeyes
Snakeeyes's picture

Does anyone think Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac can hedge their interest rate risk??????

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 12:19 | 2615774 Tom Green Swedish
Tom Green Swedish's picture

How do I rained chocolate?

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 12:37 | 2615824 DutchR
DutchR's picture

I'm glad í'm dutch,

Going Dilbert is legal here, but after a three day binge you will sober up, unlike the banking binge, that's a crash an burn.......


Buy anything but paper, paper burns.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 12:39 | 2615833 ItsDanger
ItsDanger's picture

Back when I was an auditor, doing work in treasury areas, it was alarming how little the employees understood the math behind what they were doing.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 12:44 | 2615843 Conax
Conax's picture

i doan geddit..

Ask your mom and pop or the neighbors or your brother, "What is fiat currency?" Or, "What is fractional reserve banking? When you bought your house, where did the bank get the money they lent you?"

I've done this just to gauge whether or not people are informed of these things.

They aren't. Less than one person in ten knows, and they always get a little angry speaking of it. I'm afraid we aren't winning the info war regarding 'high finance'. The other 9 get cranky because you asked..

And cross-selling? No chance, i doan geddit.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 16:01 | 2616274 Totentänzerlied
Totentänzerlied's picture

Well duh! They probably get cranky cause you're interrupting their Dancing with the Stars/MSM news/Facebook/Angry Birds/Shopping/Videogaming time! Jeeeez! I'm sure if you prescheduled some time for this activity, they would be glad to ... reveal the full and true extent of jawdropping ignorance that passes for "an educated person" these days.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 16:19 | 2616295 Dburn
Dburn's picture

The best part is when they think you have flat out lost your mind. "What was that all about?, my money comes from work"

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 20:11 | 2616539 takinthehighway
takinthehighway's picture

Yeah, and milk comes from plastic jugs at the market...

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 20:35 | 2616572 HungrySeagull
HungrySeagull's picture

Cross-saddling a employee outside of that person's Job Description is profitable for employer because that employee now does two or three jobs.

Then there are those who are... simple and are assigned a desk in the subbasement among the boxes and they want just the red stapler.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 12:52 | 2615871 Taint Boil
Taint Boil's picture



The Dilbert Principle From Wiki:


I wrote The Dilbert Principle around the concept that in many cases the least competent, least smart people are promoted, simply because they’re the ones you don’t want doing actual work. You want them ordering the doughnuts and yelling at people for not doing their assignments—you know, the easy work. Your heart surgeons and your computer programmers—your smart people—aren’t in management. That principle was literally happening everywhere

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 13:01 | 2615891 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Oh Boy, we'll get to read Dilbert in the FEMA camp.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 13:26 | 2615963 Barmaher
Barmaher's picture

Maybe because Scott Adams (the guy who created Dilbert) is a genius and member of Mensa.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 13:33 | 2615977 Tinky
Tinky's picture

These are still my favorite bank related Dilbert (well, Dogbert) frames:

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 13:43 | 2615980 Ungaro
Ungaro's picture

From Roman times' panem et cirenses (bread and circuses) to beer and American Idol. Fuggedabout any revolution as long as there is beer on the shelves and mind candy on TV.

"Faith in institutions?" WTF??? Whatever happened to the American values of indivual freedom and personal responsibility? When did we become wards of the State? How did we devolve from independence to dependence?

I much prefer to have faith in God and myself and have transactions with institutions, not relationships. To have a relationship, I'd have to trust them.

I harken back to the good ol' days when people used to rob banks, not the other way around.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 14:06 | 2616055 The Watchman
The Watchman's picture

Save some time and just "vaporize" mine right now please.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 14:09 | 2616059 Heavy
Heavy's picture

Ask Ben, he'll tell you how to rain chocolate.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 15:06 | 2616184 Snakeeyes
Snakeeyes's picture

The st deposit, long term mortgage loan seems even more stressed with the housing market in purgatory.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 15:19 | 2616210 world_debt_slave
world_debt_slave's picture

When Dilbert gets it, the end must be near.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 15:33 | 2616225 NumberNone
NumberNone's picture

Louis Ck nails it about banks and being broke.  Love this clip. 

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 18:11 | 2616440 world_debt_slave
world_debt_slave's picture

yep, Friday the 13th, got my $10 monthly service charge for being broke and earned a whopping .01 in interest, Wells Fargo.

Yeah, I'm closing the accouint and just letting it drain and already transferred money into my credit union.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 17:40 | 2616402 robertocarlos
robertocarlos's picture

Should it be, "that even we don't understand" or "that we don't even understand"? It depends on tone but I like the first one if he emphasizes the "WE". 

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 17:50 | 2616411 doc_in_the_house
doc_in_the_house's picture

dilbert gets it, but the sheeple don't....YET

they will...give it 2 years = major BANK 2 years 10yr treasury @ 0.5%...but then will shoot up to 20% +....

Romney doesn't deserve that...just go through the motions....let odummer have it...

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 18:01 | 2616423 world_debt_slave
world_debt_slave's picture

yep, the banksters count on that stupidity, look up Edward Bernays, the Father of Public Relations.

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