Excerpts From Obama's Latest Keynesian Abortion: The "American Jobs Act" Aka The "This Time Will Be Different Act"

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Thu, 09/08/2011 - 18:21 | 1648049 papaswamp
papaswamp's picture

Send it to the CBO to get scored...

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 18:36 | 1648102 Nascent_Variable
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Obama's new jobs bill is projected to create 1 billion new jobs over the next 50 years.  50 per year for 49 years, and 999,997,550 in 2061.

Later revised down to 50 in 2061.

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 18:59 | 1648172 RichyRoo
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+1 oz

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 19:06 | 1648207 zenbones
zenbones's picture

There's always a revision.

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 19:32 | 1648445 FreedomGuy
FreedomGuy's picture

Rarely, I like sarcasm. This is one of those times. Well done.

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 18:21 | 1648052 mikmid
mikmid's picture

(insert pucking sound) What a waste of popcorn.

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 18:33 | 1648090 --Freedom--
--Freedom--'s picture

"everything in this bill will be paid for." can the folks at ZH check with their sources to find out if the details of this sentence have also been leaked? Would love to hear their plans. Don't need much...just an excel sheet or something showing where the 400 billion or so comes from.

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 18:38 | 1648107 kengland
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The theory being that the "bump" in GDP assumed by these measures will offset the cost.

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 18:42 | 1648126 --Freedom--
--Freedom--'s picture

I see. Is there any evidence that this would work?

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 18:52 | 1648154 kengland
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Supply siders swear by it

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 19:04 | 1648193 --Freedom--
--Freedom--'s picture

Never mind. Cnbc cleared it up. Democratic sources tell them that the 447 billion will be offset "in future years." I feel better now.

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 19:08 | 1648221 zenbones
zenbones's picture

Yeah, instead of increasing spending by 20% every year, they'll only increase it by 19.5%.  Bless them all.

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 19:04 | 1648194 CH1
CH1's picture

Evidence??? They don't need no stinkin evidence!!

They're the government - they know better!

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 19:05 | 1648202 RichyRoo
RichyRoo's picture

Evidence, evidence, we dont need no stinking evidence!

See this is post normal thinking, which is a unique philosophy.

You dont need evidence. What you need is to make a statement which nobody can prove is impossible, then claim huge benifits/avoidance of catastrophe from the consequences of the statement.

This is how climate science and economic science work now days.

Make a statement which isnt falsifiable and claim a large magnitude effect from it. Thats all.

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 18:38 | 1648111 kito
kito's picture

paid for by the fed of course!!! 

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 19:04 | 1648191 Pool Shark
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No, Paid for by us taxpayers.

Obama's $400,000,000,000.00 price tag for this "program" equates to $1,300.00 from every man, woman, and child in the United States.

Yep; 'Change You Can Bereave In' indeed...

 

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 19:09 | 1648231 zenbones
zenbones's picture

Paid for soon to be $20 a loaf of bread.

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 18:50 | 1648149 nmewn
nmewn's picture

In a time of exploding government debts & deficits, Barry finds 300-400 billion in the couch cushions...just laying around...obviously not very badly needed.

Wouldn't it be great if he were actually looking for waste, fraud & abuse? ;-)

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 18:53 | 1648158 jerry_theking_lawler
jerry_theking_lawler's picture

yes. and we were to officially be totally 'debt' free in 2015 (by 1996 surplus estimates)....

 

democrats 'paid for' speak is we pass it and then we will find a way to fund it....taxes, regulations, taxes, oh, and did i mention taxes...and if that doesn't work, then yes the FED will finance the deficit...

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 19:37 | 1648480 FreedomGuy
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Will be paid for with new loans from the Fed. QE unlimited. Printing presses are oiled, tuned and ready to go!

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 19:37 | 1648481 FreedomGuy
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Will be paid for with new loans from the Fed. QE unlimited. Printing presses are oiled, tuned and ready to go!

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 18:41 | 1648053 anynonmous
anynonmous's picture

No BS  there is something called

The American Jobs (and not tax loop holes) Act was proposed in 2010

 

here is Rep Lois Capps  on her youtube channel discussing it

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oyXltyWyplw

http://capps.house.gov/

 

and the PDF of the ACT

http://waysandmeans.house.gov/media/pdf/111/America_Jobs_Summary.pdf

 

and this is what happened to that ACT

http://www.schneiderdowns.com/Tax_Extenders_Legislation

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 18:23 | 1648057 Nascent_Variable
Nascent_Variable's picture

More like the Definition of Madness Act.

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 18:24 | 1648059 Rogier
Rogier's picture

Creating more jobs when demand is absent. Truly brilliant...

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 21:47 | 1649193 cranky-old-geezer
cranky-old-geezer's picture

 

 

This is probably the best observation of the entire thread.   Well done.

Yes, creating jobs where there is no business need for those jobs is an insane move, and giving employers a tax break to hire more people is equally insane. 

If a business needs more people, they would be hired without a tax break.  If a business doesn't need more people, hiring more people to get a tax break would cost the business money and be foolish.

So no, a tax break won't work.

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 18:25 | 1648065 Elooie
Elooie's picture

Whiny bitchez!

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 18:25 | 1648066 Blorf
Blorf's picture

More apple pie for everyone!

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 18:27 | 1648071 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Even a worm learns.

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 18:32 | 1648073 bob_dabolina
bob_dabolina's picture

Stuff like this makes we want to have violent projectile vomiting from all orifices

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 18:28 | 1648077 Theta_Burn
Theta_Burn's picture

 

AJA

When all my dime dancing is through i run to you.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KaNt5S9pibQ

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 19:09 | 1648228 HoofHearted
HoofHearted's picture

AJA...makes me think of kAJAgoogoo, "You're too shy shy hush hush..."

Can someone tell Barry to hush hush and get back on the links?

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 18:29 | 1648081 Anonymouse
Anonymouse's picture

Remember back when the purpose of taxes was to raise revenue for the government, and not an attempt to manipulate economic and personal decisions?  Neither do I

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 18:32 | 1648087 XRAYD
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"...whether we can restore some of the fairness and security that has defined this nation since our beginning."

 

He should ASK any BLACK family!  Really.

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 19:01 | 1648179 fourthousand
fourthousand's picture

This point cannot be stressed enough.

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 18:32 | 1648089 Cdad
Cdad's picture

Abortion?  I thought President Zero was pro choice?

As for the speech and the almost certain mainframe stupidity based ES reaction...indeed, it should take very little time for that abortion to ocurr.  In the last two days, I have seen some of the WORST TRADING FROM THE LONG SIDE I HAVE EVER SEEN.  Clearly, someone forgot to give the algos their meds...or reprogram them to take into account....ANYTHING.

Even BlowHorn [CNBC] participants seem confused.  From the nanosecond money gang, Gee opened the show with a diatribe about "the technicals," setting up his commentary to be technically bullish, and then in the same breath...favored the downside.

Following up was the Negotiator [Tim, I think], who commented that we would come in under pressure after the zero effect of President Zero's speech...but then closed the show with bullishness on China inflation numbers to be released later tonight.

Now the equity market road is almost always tortured and twisted; however, many, many signals today indicated that...no one knows just what the fuck is going on right now.  

And then there is the Dixie.  Whatever the open, and whatever the close, that is one signal that seems crystal clear.  And never mind your uber rant about fiat paper...because this misses the point.  The point, of course, is that some of the very biggest trades out there are going to have to face the Dixie...and those trades are quite likely going to have to unwind.

Good luck out there, my brothers.  

Cdad...definitely feeling aggressive tendencies.

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 18:41 | 1648121 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

When I see the phrase Keynesian abortion, Steve Liesman comes to mind.

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 18:45 | 1648127 Cdad
Cdad's picture

You know...sometimes an image just goes too damn far.  Throwing up a little in my mouth just now.  Thanks, buddy.

**Steve covered in afterbirth**

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 18:54 | 1648161 Blano
Blano's picture

I quit watching Slow Money when Jeff Macke went away.

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 18:34 | 1648095 JB
JB's picture

The "American I'll Gladly Pay You Tuesday for a Hamburger Today Act" bitchez!

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 18:34 | 1648097 Rob Jones
Rob Jones's picture

And everything in this bill will be paid for. Everything.

I wonder how. Is the US going to sell off some of the national parks?

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 18:37 | 1648103 Cdad
Cdad's picture

And the post office may have to close this winter.

Fuck if I know....

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 18:39 | 1648112 NotApplicable
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"The purpose of the American Jobs Act is simple: to pretend to do something leader-like in order to ensure my re-election. Hey! Who the fuck put that in my speech? That comment was supposed to be off the record."

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 18:51 | 1648150 oogs66
oogs66's picture

he better be on time for this one, football starts!!!!!!!!!!

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 20:05 | 1648662 djsmps
djsmps's picture

He wasn't.

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 19:13 | 1648259 zenbones
zenbones's picture

Can we get somebody to hack into the teleprompter?

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 18:40 | 1648115 fishface
fishface's picture

And everything in this bill will be paid for. Everything.


"You mean everything?"

"Everything"

 

reminds me of Timmy

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 18:42 | 1648124 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Or the 100% sure Bernank.

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 18:44 | 1648130 The Proletariat
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They forgot to put the Chorus section between paragraphs: 

Chorus

Standing Room only applause

Standing Room only applause

After last paragraph Roaring Applause - Random Hoorays from Rows 1, 6, 8, and 11 on the left side

 

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 18:44 | 1648131 Epicurus
Epicurus's picture

No. they're going to sell some gold. It has no other use...

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 18:46 | 1648136 Logans_Run
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The ABJ Act--Blow jobs for all!

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!