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Facebook IPO Prices At $38/Share
Finally, we can move on:
- FACEBOOK SAYS 421.2 MLN SHARES PRICED AT $38-SHR
Now, all that Facebook needs are those elusive +/-25 billion users to "grow" into its "valuation." We only have four outstanding questions:
- What is Ben Bernanke's IPO allocation?
- Does the CIA use tax or cost basis accounting?
- When do the puts start trading?
- What is the fair value of Like relative to intrinsics and is Bruno Iksil long or short it?
Finally, from the inimmitable Andy Borowitz:
A Letter from Mark Zuckerberg
About Facebook’s IPO
MENLO PARK, CA (The Borowitz Report) – On the eve of Facebook’s IPO, Founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg published the following letter to potential investors:
Dear Potential Investor:
For years, you’ve wasted your time on Facebook. Now here’s your chance to waste your money on it, too.
Tomorrow is Facebook’s IPO, and I know what some of you are thinking. How will Facebook be any different from the dot-com bubble of the early 2000’s?
For one thing, those bad dot-com stocks were all speculation and hype, and weren’t based on real businesses. Facebook, on the other hand, is based on a solid foundation of angry birds and imaginary sheep.
Second, Facebook is the most successful social network in the world, enabling millions to share information of no interest with people they barely know.
Third, every time someone clicks on a Facebook ad, Facebook makes money. And while no one has ever done this on purpose, millions have done it by mistake while drunk. We totally stole this idea from iTunes.
Finally, if you invest in Facebook, you’ll be far from alone. As a result of using Facebook for the past few years, over 900 million people in the world have suffered mild to moderate brain damage, impairing their ability to make reasoned judgments. These will be your fellow Facebook investors.
With your help, if all goes as planned tomorrow, Facebook’s IPO will net $100 billion. To put that number in context, it would take JP Morgan four or five trades to lose that much money.
One last thing: what will, I, Mark Zuckerberg, do with the $18 billion I’m expected to earn from Facebook’s IPO? Well, I’m considering buying Greece, but that would still leave me with $18 billion. LOL.
Friend me,
Mark
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put it on amex as TRD
Where do i get my Groupon 30% off FB IPO share?
Seriously when is it optionable?
May 29
I wish the VIX could stay lower until then.
Hold on just a minute. This is MY future you're talkin bout here.
After thinking about it...can anyone teach me how to short stocks?
First you have to get somebody at Goldman to borrow it for you.
nah just go on BATS and pound the sell button.. they dont care
it will end with a lessons learned session in the senate in... 2015?
When is Fuckbook IPO?
Another reason I would not buy Facebook especially if I had a 3 month lock up is that the Market is starting a large correction. If the Market starts to sell off like in 2008 I would not want to be long any stocks.
What happens with a large Market correction and you cannot Sell your shares?
Where is RoboTrader girl, she must be bullish on FB.
Dear Investors: Please remember to sign up as an "Organ Donor"!
For if we fail, however improbable that sounds, there will be many grateful shareholders to harvest your broken hearts!
Ps. Vitals such as sex, weight, physical history, etc., etc., are already in our file-sharing database thanks to Google!!!
Once again, Thanks for Sharing
Zuck the Fuck ;>)
im still long theglobe.com and geocities
Oh my god I have facebook fever !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
That's why they needed to raise 25% more. Tomorrow Goldman and gang will sell into the hype.
Facebook is terrible but even worse is Pinterest. WHAT THE FUCK DOES PINTEREST ACTUALLY DO???!!?!?!?!?!
Now Pinterest is growing its parabolic rapid valuation based on nothing but the next hype machine to make Goldman and other underwriters more money.
I fucking swear these guys must sit around tables laughing and the absurdity of the ability for them to print money. They got to say, can you believe people are dumb enough to let us get away with this.
The best thing that could ever happen is for some random person to walk up to Fuckerberg and shoot him in the head. Leaving behind a little note, "What you going to do with the billions now asshole."
That is hilarious...
The Facebook IPO = The Great Muppet Caper
throw another $100B X ponzi revelation rate into the black hole of system devaluation...
Only $4 for plentiful private information on every FB member - that's a steal!
$100 billion for this???
http://www.quickmeme.com/Annoying-Facebook-Girl/
Quick question. In this IPO what percentage of it will be publicly held, held by the founders/employees, and how much institutional.
Shouldn't the question be, do they account for this as Available-for-Sale or using the Equity Method? I'm assuming their holdings don't force them into full consolidation, but I could be wrong.
what if the facebook IPO tomorrow fails?
$108 BILLION IPO for something with a physical plant worth what, a few hundred million at most?
It's Pets.com times 108. Invest now sucka's, its Dot.bomb v2.0.
They've been scandalously over-pricing IPO's for years and this is a classic example. FACEBOOK is nothing more than what's trendy right now. This stock is a short-term moneymaker (for a couple hours) and a long-term disaster.
I got my order in for 100 shares; bitchez.
I envision throngs of frothy mouthed "people of walmart" tumbling over each other to grasp in their pudgy hands a
a wallet sized picture of Zuckerburg and his patented bedwetter smirk.
But really, How many muppets will it take to absorb this crapulence of a "stock". Maybe satan has realeased all the muppets in
hell to pump this evil travesty of unnatural human sociology.
YOU GUYS ARE PATHETIC, I MET SO MUCH HOT CHICKS AND HAD SEX WITHT THEM THROUGH FB
Is that you, Zuck?
the real question: DID BEN give his Friends list the green light to go long? name one tech mut fund that will not put on a position ..thats a real short list.
Well, I’m considering buying Greece, but that would still leave me with $18 billion.
This was the cherry on top. I love ZH for the laughs it yields me every morning. Keep it up.