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The "Fail-Whale" Fallout Begins: Three JPM Execs To Leave Prop-Trading, Pardon, Hedging Bank

Tyler Durden's picture




 

In a development that would make Dostoevsky turn in his grave, we learn that the first three casualites of Fail-Whalegate have been identified.

From the WSJ:

Three high-ranking officers are expected to leave J.P. Morgan Chase & Co. this week, said people familiar with the situation, in the latest fallout from a trading blunder that has cost the bank at least $2 billion.

 

Those leaving are Ina Drew, who since 2005 has run the risk-management unit that is responsible for the losses; Achilles Macris, who is in charge of the London-based desk that placed the trades; and trader Javier Martin-Artajo, a managing director on Mr. Macris’ team, the people said.

 

Ms. Drew has offered to resign multiple times and that request will likely be accepted this week, these people said. She is expected to leave as soon as Monday, the people said.

 

Trader Bruno Michel Iksil, nicknamed the "London Whale" for the big positions he took in credit markets on behalf of the risk-management unit called the chief investment office, is likely to depart as well, but it isn't yet clear when that will happen, said people familiar with the situation. Mr. Macris, Mr. Martin-Artajo and Mr. Iksil have all been stripped of trading responsibilities, added one of these people. All four executives declined comment through the company.

 

Ms. Drew initially tried to downplay the issues when the positions came to light in April, said people familiar with the situation, but once the scope of the losses became apparent she offered to resign, said people familiar with the situation.

Of course, if these three individuals had made money, instead of losing it, they would have received multi-million dollar bonuses and gotten promoted to positions of even greater (ir)responsibility, resulting in even greater potential future losses, and likely taxpayer bailouts.

Thank you Chairsatan put.

And a little more on Ina Drew, again from WSJ:

Meet Ina R. Drew, the Chief Investment Officer at J.P. Morgan whose unit has suddenly found itself in a spotlight most wouldn’t envy.

The 55-year-old executive has been running the CIO since 2005, and been a long-time sidekick of CEO Jamie Dimon. She is currently a member of his closest circle of advisers, the operating committee.

 

She is also among the highest paid executives at the bank, making $15.5 million in 2011 and over $15.9 million in 2010. Both numbers would have put her among the top earning executives, behind only Dimon and Investment Bank head Jes Staley last year, according to a proxy filing.

 

Fortune ranked her No. 8 on last year’s 25-highest paid women list. Across Wall Street, she is among the highest ranking females.  And at J.P. Morgan, she is among the last top females at the bank, along with the head of asset management Mary Erdoes, after former top aide Heidi Miller departed.

 

In J.P. Morgan’s proxy filing this year, the compensation discussion says she “successfully accomplished her business and people agenda objectives for 2011 by creating shareholder value through risk management activities across a broad array of market sectors and currencies with the help of a very knowledgeable leadership team that Ms. Drew has developed over a long career in various locations around the globe.”

 

[Ina Drew] “loves crises” a fitting profile that is worth remembering today:

 

Her eyes light up at the mention of last summer’s European currency free-for-all and she breaks into a grin when talking about the 1987 stock market crash.

 

“Crises make markets volatile, increase the flow of funds and provide us with more information,” she says.

 

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Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:22 | 2421884 maxmad
maxmad's picture

The true fallout will be the collapse of the PONZI Scheme!!

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:28 | 2421899 Michael
Michael's picture

Mein Kamph, my struggle with the international banking cartel model is almost over, as they will be riding the subway and eating tuna fish sandwiches pretty soon.

I just thank God every day for the complete and total worldwide economic collapse, as that is the only thing that will solve most of our problems in one felled swoop.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:32 | 2421916 Manthong
Manthong's picture

I wonder if she's sitting in her office now like Demi Moore was in the movie.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:40 | 2421934 Nader_Nazemi
Nader_Nazemi's picture

Wow, first thing came to my mind. 

 

Margin Call !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:54 | 2421971 Dr Benway
Dr Benway's picture

She still gets to keep all the money she has stolen over the years.

 

So she has won. The 99% have lost.

 

Zero fucking satisfaction?

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 17:09 | 2422013 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

Satisfaction will not b felt until they pay the ultimate price for their crimes against humanity....the question is who among us is willing to step up......

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 17:29 | 2422082 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

There are several.  Many of whom have already bled for this country as well as bled others.  We are called veterans and we are many.  Some of us have worked our way back into the appropriate positions.  Be patient, we need the devils to self-identify first.  By the looks of things, many are starting to turn on one another already.  Shouldn't be too long now.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 18:07 | 2422182 Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

She looks like pig with makeup.

 

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 19:03 | 2422265 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

"Three high-ranking officers are expected to leave J.P. Morgan Chase & Co. this week, said people familiar with the situation, in the latest fallout from a trading blunder that has cost the bank at least $2 billion."

The spin on this is plain for all too see. These 3 are not high ranking JPM officers. Especially the third guy who is a Managing Director. Each division of JPM has its own contingent of Mng Dirs. Last year 132 people were promoted to that designation in just the Investment Banking division. The number of Managing Directors at JPM is quite substantial.

They are trying to make it sound like 3 of Jamie Dimon's top lieutenants are falling on their swords for the good of the company. What a joke. These three were quite expendable.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 20:20 | 2422390 Chaffinch
Chaffinch's picture

Expendable and, in her case at 55 years old and having earned $30million in the last 2 years, completely happy to go.

I'm sure she can enjoy the crisis well enough from the outside.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 22:19 | 2422548 Western
Western's picture

Wow she looks like a whale.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 23:51 | 2422733 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

Fat n Ugly.

Not even any nice looking crooks anymore.  Just pigs left fighting for the last crumbs.

 

Mon, 05/14/2012 - 05:01 | 2422952 Harlequin001
Harlequin001's picture

she must be really, really clever to earn that kind of money...

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 18:59 | 2422268 WestVillageIdiot
WestVillageIdiot's picture

Aren't you being a little hard on pigs?

Which has more cottage cheese?

a)  The state of Wisconsin

b)  Ina Drew's ass

 

 

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 19:40 | 2422330 skepticCarl
skepticCarl's picture

"She looks like pig with makeup."

Please post a photo of your Mom at age 55, and let the ZH audience comment.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 19:52 | 2422348 Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

Why are you defending this hideous sow?

By the contents of your skull, you should change your handle name to "septicKarl"

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 20:13 | 2422378 Vagabond
Vagabond's picture

Obviously you made fun of someone who looks like his mother.

Mon, 05/14/2012 - 05:58 | 2422982 jeff montanye
jeff montanye's picture

alan greenspan looks like a particularly ugly toad but that's not the point.  the point is he (they) do evil, impractical things.  things, in the short and long run, to the disadvantage of capitalism not to mention democracy.  oops i mentioned it.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 20:39 | 2422426 kekekekekekeke
kekekekekekeke's picture

you gotta wonder what some of these dudes look like...

Mon, 05/14/2012 - 09:32 | 2423364 Widowmaker
Widowmaker's picture

Financial crime incorporated (racketeering) eats veterans for breakfast.

Look at all present engagements, your meat grinder is their record bonuses. Oh and those that live get the bill.

Mission accomplished!

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 19:56 | 2422357 HellFish
HellFish's picture

Kaiser, if I ever get diagnosed with pancreatic cancer I'll start working my way down my list.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 17:10 | 2422015 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

That shit eating smile on her face is only bigger today.  

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 17:26 | 2422063 vast-dom
vast-dom's picture

Correct doc. Just remember, if you can't be just, be arbitrary.... And always get more more more!

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 19:25 | 2422312 lotsoffun
lotsoffun's picture

that is about the story.  they stole.  we lost.  geez i wish i wasn't so hyperactive and needing to work.  just should have bought a huge place somewhere warm with nothing down and run up credit cards and kicked back.  second best thing to being a wall street whale.

it took a long time, but wall street really did figure out how to trickle it all up.

and no repercussions.  none.  nothing at all.  and the people she enriched, they will hire her for just as much.

 

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 19:54 | 2422347 ToNYC
ToNYC's picture

That sucks not getting 15 large next year; but she'll be busy buying flats in Rio and Singapore, living under an assumed name.

 

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 20:19 | 2422392 Lord Koos
Lord Koos's picture

She gets to retire early, oh the horror oh the disgrace.

Mon, 05/14/2012 - 09:41 | 2423395 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

that's it, blame the staff never the executives

Dimon was in the toilet the whole time this multi-billion position was running, never knew a thing ok

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 17:05 | 2422006 HarryM
HarryM's picture

55 year old woman earns $12000+ month on the internet - ask Ina

Mon, 05/14/2012 - 01:57 | 2422822 johnconnor
johnconnor's picture

that bitch needs to drop 50 pounds

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:46 | 2421952 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

I like tuna fish sandwiches ....

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:51 | 2421962 knukles
knukles's picture

It tastes like Demi Moore

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 17:16 | 2422037 Hulk
Hulk's picture

Whadya call an open can of tune in Demi's bathroom ???

potpourri !!!

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 18:40 | 2422230 knukles
knukles's picture

Must be a demented Demi Moore fan hereabouts.
Well, all things considered, she was quoted as saying after she made that navy seal movie that peeing in the ocean made her fell like a warrior.

Maybe the rots not her crotch after all.
PS  Rumor she's gonna run for California Secretary of Fisheries. 

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 20:38 | 2422423 Hulk
Hulk's picture

LOL, she's definitely off my pool party list...

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 22:42 | 2422574 Acorn10012
Acorn10012's picture

"It tastes like Demi Moore."

Though the tuna's not as oily.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:51 | 2421965 Tijuana Donkey Show
Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

Radioactive tuna? 

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 19:58 | 2422358 Matt
Matt's picture

Radioactive, Mercury-filled Blue Fin Tuna.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 18:40 | 2422232 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Canned Tuna better than Gold.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 20:23 | 2422400 Chaffinch
Chaffinch's picture

+1
Me too sudden debt!
And sometimes, tuna with sweetcorn.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 20:22 | 2422393 Gordon Freeman
Gordon Freeman's picture

Bless the Lord (for all of us!) that your "struggle" is almost over--and that you will finally STFU!

BTW, in case you missed the memo, shithead, tuna sandwiches are one of th healthiest things you can possibly eat...

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 22:00 | 2422519 Tijuana Donkey Show
Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

Uh, if your idea of health food is heavy metals, Japanese nuclear waste from the Pacific, and further damaging a species on the brink, then yes, it's fucking awesome for you. How about sardines or herring, from cleaner waters, that are managed and easily replaced. Or is it that you like the taste of dolphin? T-R-O-L-L. Happy mothers day to your mom at the donkey show, she's "canning tuna" as we speak. 

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:30 | 2421907 maxmad
maxmad's picture

The rats are jumping!!

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:41 | 2421940 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

There is no accountability at all for these people.  Being fired and keeping your ill-gotten gains does not count as accountability.  If I had made $10M year over year the last several years and then someone figured out I was really just a fraud who was gambling someone else's money and keeping the profits, I would have a hearty laugh and say "sucker!" on my way out the door. 

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 17:05 | 2422002 Dr Benway
Dr Benway's picture

You are exactly right. The decoupling of risk and reward is key to a lot of the problems on an individual, corporate and government level.

 

Everyone does this nowadays. Borrow to gamble and if you lose, try to deflect losses to someone else.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 21:39 | 2422490 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

Solyndra comes to mind.

Mon, 05/14/2012 - 09:40 | 2423370 Widowmaker
Widowmaker's picture

Incorporation IS government.

Pay up sukka, tbtf needs their bonuses.

Mon, 05/14/2012 - 09:46 | 2423406 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

if it's not Bummas Democrats blowing up in Corzined gambling bets it's his major WS sponsors

add to that Bummas own Solyndra bet-gone-toxic and the poor President just hasn't got much going his way right now

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 21:11 | 2422467 philipat
philipat's picture

What about thae lying Aussie fucktard Blythe Masters? Only a few weeks ago she told CNBS in a carefully scripted PR piece that JPM would never, NEVER engage in Prop trading and simply hedged client positions. That nwo turns out to have been not only a maserpiece of bad timing which Dimon must have been involved in. To loose this kind of money on hedging client positions is not possible so the whole matter is now exposed for the lie that it was. Of course, Dimonlike Corzine "Knew nothing" but is now taking "Tough action" to rectify the problem. Jamie, here's some free advice: Fuck Off.

Mon, 05/14/2012 - 09:38 | 2423373 Widowmaker
Widowmaker's picture

No ONE saw it coming, but EVERYONE.

Fed is buying today.

Mon, 05/14/2012 - 13:43 | 2424312 R. Giskard
R. Giskard's picture

Too big to bail failouts

 

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:24 | 2421891 Boilermaker
Boilermaker's picture

Yeah, they leave as multi-millionaires.

We should be so unfortunate.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 17:07 | 2422005 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

And they get to "resign."   Is it really too much to ask that they at least call it a firing for us District 11 viewers at home?

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 20:41 | 2422430 kekekekekekeke
kekekekekekeke's picture

lol ^_^

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:26 | 2421893 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

JPM's Achilles heel!

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:27 | 2421896 Aziz
Aziz's picture

As I noted yesterday, these practices are going on all over Wall Street. J.P.M were just especially stupid.

I can't believe Dimon has the temerity to oppose the Volcker rule. That's the most tame shit out there. 

We should be talking about the eat-dirt rule, or at least Glass-Steagall.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 17:24 | 2422055 Umh
Umh's picture

Eat Glass rule?

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:28 | 2421902 Comay Mierda
Comay Mierda's picture

they are just making room to hire Corzine

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:31 | 2421904 tamboo
tamboo's picture

"Ina Drew, 54, is considered one of the most powerful women on Wall Street and has been at the head of JP Morgan Chase's London-based Chief Investment Office since February 2005.

Regarded as a key lieutenant of chief executive Jamie Dimon, she was effectively in charge of Bruno Michel Iksil, the Frenchman nicknamed 'Voldemort' and 'the London Whale'.

She received a cash bonus of $4.7m, a share award of $7.1m, options worth $1.5 million and a base salary of $750,000, according to regulatory filings by the bank."

another real looker too.
Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:40 | 2421937 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

She looks like Herman Munster.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:59 | 2421980 Joe The Plumber
Joe The Plumber's picture

I would fuck her
Admit it. Most of you would too

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 17:05 | 2422001 Hulk
Hulk's picture

She would have to pay me. I charge $1500 per ounce...

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 17:58 | 2422170 WonderDawg
WonderDawg's picture

One look at that mug and I'd be shooting pool with a rope.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 20:41 | 2422431 Hulk
Hulk's picture

Very interesting, you have a rope pool cue and my favorite shovel has a rope handle. We are very similiar, you and I ...

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 22:32 | 2422557 GoinFawr
GoinFawr's picture

Hahah! Like trying to stuff a marshmallow into a coin slot.

One question for the author: What is it precisely about this series of events that would send Dostoyevsky spinning in his grave? Because he was a terrible gambler too? Crime vs. Punishment? What...? Please elaborate.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 18:50 | 2422252 SoCalBusted
SoCalBusted's picture

Don't spend your $15 in one place!

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 17:24 | 2422060 Umh
Umh's picture

Nah.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 19:59 | 2422359 ToNYC
ToNYC's picture

You must mean the ones that think with their little heads; not knowing the real price the vampire vamp Ina is setting up to extract from your brainlessass.

Mon, 05/14/2012 - 13:37 | 2424290 Chaos_Theory
Chaos_Theory's picture

Lights off and a $50,000 certified check in the wallet would make her look like Sofia Vergara. 

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:42 | 2421942 Nader_Nazemi
Nader_Nazemi's picture

Did they fire Bruno Michel Iksil  ? 

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:30 | 2421908 jmcadg
jmcadg's picture

And what about the London Whale himself?

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:30 | 2421909 veyron
veyron's picture

Of course Dimon still has his job ...

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 20:26 | 2422407 Gordon Freeman
Gordon Freeman's picture

Like you would be considered for it?

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:31 | 2421910 jmcadg
jmcadg's picture

She's a stunner ... how many chins?

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:33 | 2421921 veyron
veyron's picture

Triple levered chin

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:39 | 2421933 Jendrzejczyk
Jendrzejczyk's picture

More than a Chineese phonebook?

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:33 | 2421918 falak pema
falak pema's picture

this lady looks like she can chew glass and spit out ground victim's flesh all in the same breath; awesome the lust for power and money. Would she give head to a beggar now to atone for her hubris; she has all her life to find out now! 

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 20:25 | 2422408 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Vagina dentata with razor sharp teeth.

 

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:35 | 2421919 Stochdoc
Stochdoc's picture

Please tell me there will be clawback on all the dough these fucks got paid.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 17:26 | 2422069 Umh
Umh's picture

That would imply a crime. Don't hold your breath. Hell; I'm not sure I can hold onto anything that long.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:39 | 2421929 Zola
Zola's picture

That woman is just ugly as hell, i now understand why she was part of the WHALE team...

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:38 | 2421930 I am Jobe
I am Jobe's picture

I wonder if she has a pussy pouch?

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:39 | 2421935 luna_man
luna_man's picture

 

 

Hold on, might take care of the appetizer...Be waiting for the main meal!!...Right?

NO PRISONERS!...NO ESCAPEES!!...Right?

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:48 | 2421956 Landrew
Landrew's picture

What does her looks have to do with the work? I doubt any of you rate the movie star roll either. She some how made that kind of money while taking taxpayer bailout is why she should have been fired!

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:52 | 2421968 Solarman
Solarman's picture

They simply ranked her roll.  LOL

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 17:08 | 2422007 jmcadg
jmcadg's picture

Nothing, the chance of a cheap shot is too attractive. Unlike her good self.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 20:43 | 2422433 kekekekekekeke
kekekekekekeke's picture

right? these cretins are slobbering all over themselves to chime in on her looks instead of... the shitty things she did for the shitty people she worked for

 

and I bet most of these dudes critiquing her are fucking ugly

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 21:46 | 2422502 takinthehighway
takinthehighway's picture

Hey, I resemble that remark!

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:48 | 2421959 Snakeeyes
Snakeeyes's picture

Should be "I'ma Porker."

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:57 | 2421974 navy62802
navy62802's picture

Ina "Fail-Whale" Drew. Hahahaha

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:56 | 2421975 markar
markar's picture

If only Blythe Masters could leave----in cuffs & an orange jumpsuit

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:57 | 2421978 Pretorian
Pretorian's picture

She is ugly! Does she pay for sex?

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 17:00 | 2421982 Joe The Plumber
Joe The Plumber's picture

Pay me!

Mon, 05/14/2012 - 00:49 | 2422767 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

I understand you had a part in "Nailin' Palin" :>D

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 17:02 | 2421985 markar
markar's picture

"Her eyes light up at the mention of last summer’s European currency free-for-all and she breaks into a grin when talking about the 1987 stock market crash."

 

What a dick

 

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 17:01 | 2421987 Snakeeyes
Snakeeyes's picture

So what does everyone suggest the solution is? Whatever the answer is, we are leaving the decision up to politicians who will screw things up even worse.

http://confoundedinterest.wordpress.com/2012/05/13/regulation-jpmorgan-chase-and-the-parable-of-the-titanic-and-eastland/

We already have TBTF rules in place, but The Fed and FDIC won't exercise any authority. Dodd-Frank is a bogus attempt to get around The Fed's and FDIC's failure to enforce rules.

This is such a mess that I can't believe it. But politicians will run blind into the fog again. Just watch.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 17:01 | 2421988 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

What's their severance bribe, I mean pay?

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 17:03 | 2421994 b_thunder
b_thunder's picture

Ina Drew made profits for JPM in 2011 and received $14 million compensation

Ina Drew lost $2billion (and counting) in 2012 and the JPM shareholders LOST $14 Billon in market cap.

This, boys and girls, what on Wall St. is called "asymmetric risk."

 

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 17:04 | 2422004 trgfunds
trgfunds's picture

Love how all the reports talk about this "$2B loss" they "took" -- It is my understanding that the trade is still ON, the position is moving against them and they can't unwind it. When are they gonna start talking about that?

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 17:16 | 2422036 sampo
sampo's picture

You just reminded me of my silver..

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 17:20 | 2422048 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

And this retarded trade has the same structure as the one everyone accuses JPM of having in metals.  Coincidence, or have we uncovered the "Dimon Principle"?

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 17:25 | 2422068 Hulk
Hulk's picture

Willie told Turd that the loss is on the order of $18 B Big ones...

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 18:07 | 2422184 sampo
sampo's picture

LOL,that's worth over a half of world's annual production of physical silver!

About the same amount they're short in futures, actually.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 18:35 | 2422223 SilverTard
SilverTard's picture

I have been hearing numbers earlier today of 21 Billion and that they were getting larger by the hour.  Possibly stuck in something they can not unwind?  I think this is going down hard and SOON.

 

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 20:43 | 2422434 Gordon Freeman
Gordon Freeman's picture

Well, that's reassuring!

Like Willie is anything more than a chimera, facing his bathroom mirror...What a fucking charlatan..

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 17:13 | 2422020 interbanker
interbanker's picture

Ina Drew, is probaly a Lesbian, that has a dog, or a cat at home, on weekend she takes those animals to the park,  she has little or no social life, likes Elton John music, and thinks Obama is the second coming, she likes to go on vacation to Barcelona and still remembers her boyfriend from High School. When she dies, all her bailout money will go to some charity run by jews or pro animals. ..that is all.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 17:16 | 2422032 jmcadg
jmcadg's picture

Stalker ;) I like your style

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 17:23 | 2422056 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

Wow, you really did manage to hit all the sterotypes that are the hallmark of ignorance in this comment.

Mazel tov.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 17:54 | 2422160 Landrew
Landrew's picture

Well said ha! Just when you think there is a low in thinking. Then something like that shows up! They may never understand your critical thinking skills:) I mean how long would they have their jobs based on looks ha!

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 17:20 | 2422049 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Folks, ALL of this is lies, smoke, and mirrors. She and her "team" are agreeing to take this fall to divert attention from the real issue (they are insolvent). All that so called "pay" she collected is likely not collectable and liquid if JPM goes under...

"Watch us rearrange the deck chairs on the Titanic. Please do not ask about those life boats coming out over there. This Kabbuki is being performed so you will feel better. Don't you feel better?"

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 17:50 | 2422144 Jendrzejczyk
Jendrzejczyk's picture

Hi Missy, why no mention of iksil the Whale stepping down yet? You think he has too much dirt on his "superiors" to let him go?

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 20:22 | 2422399 Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

Iksil will most probably be dealt with in the same fashion as the DoucheBank executive who was poisoned with radioactive umbrella in Germany:

http://thedailyattack.com/2012/05/13/germany-man-dies-from-poison-umbrel...

 

 

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 20:46 | 2422440 Gordon Freeman
Gordon Freeman's picture

That must be it...

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 22:44 | 2422573 GoinFawr
GoinFawr's picture

the Hg was radioactive? That link says nothing about the victim's occupation either.... so 'knew', whaddaya know?

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 21:02 | 2422459 Kayman
Kayman's picture

Precisely. A $2 billion disclosure smells like diversion to me. Tuna fish sandwiches notwithstanding.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 17:36 | 2422102 navy62802
navy62802's picture

OT - Euro just broke below 1.29.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 18:04 | 2422153 Tom Green Swedish
Tom Green Swedish's picture

Euro dollar parity or below would be a nice thought.

 

It will probably come soon.  The Germans will have to sell their shit cars to someone now that all over Southern Europe is trashed.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 20:48 | 2422445 Gordon Freeman
Gordon Freeman's picture

Yeah, their cars are "shit"--people will "flock" to the Volvo...

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 21:48 | 2422494 Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

Why buy a kraut/swede car when the euro goes to parity with the USD, when you can wait for the euro to tank to 0.45 of USD and then buy a REAL car like a Ferrari, Lancia, Alfa Romeo, Bugatti, Lamborghini, Maserati....

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 21:50 | 2422509 takinthehighway
takinthehighway's picture

That would help solve the unemployment problem, as anyone who has ever owned an Italian car would agree that there is a definite need for mechanics for same...and frequently...

Mon, 05/14/2012 - 05:55 | 2422980 Tom Green Swedish
Tom Green Swedish's picture

Italian Trash.  Give me a Tesla Roadster or a Japanese Hybrid. Or hell a corvette or Nissan GT-R. You can pay for the 2 miles a gallon on that Italian shitbox.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 17:41 | 2422112 newworldorder
newworldorder's picture

She is just taking a sabatical from her risk management duties to recharge her energy level - just in time for her next career gig of a substantial management position at one of the US Financial regulatory agencies, the FED or one of the worldwide banking entities representing the 1%.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 17:46 | 2422125 tallen
tallen's picture

I'm not surprised she's getting fired, look how god dam ugly she is. If she ever did make any money she probably ate it. I think she should be sent back to her native habitat, in the sea with the other whales with some concrete shoes.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 17:46 | 2422131 Thunder_Downunder
Thunder_Downunder's picture

whoops wrong thread....

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 22:49 | 2422579 Acorn10012
Acorn10012's picture

It's never the wrong thread.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 17:52 | 2422136 Tom Green Swedish
Tom Green Swedish's picture

Can the Volcker Rule just ban the entire London Financial District from trading? This has happened like 5 times with these cocaine clowns now.

JP Morgan hasn't done anything wrong except try to trust and manage a bunch of coked up fools.  The London Financial district used to be respected now its a big joke.

 

And this. This has got to be the thing that destroys all this casino trading crap:

 

“Crises make markets volatile, increase the flow of funds and provide us with more information,” she says.

 

Yes, thats exactly why I love crises too.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 17:52 | 2422156 SmoothCoolSmoke
SmoothCoolSmoke's picture

"Boo", and..... let me think, oh yeah......MFing "hoo".  Seriously doubt this woman is going to move directly into the Poor House.

I say put her in front of a firing squad then put her head on a pike at the corner of Wall and Broad.  Great opportunity to scare the living shit out of the elite criminal class.

 

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 19:51 | 2422346 skepticCarl
skepticCarl's picture

Two days ago not one of us knew WTF Ina was.  Now she has become the JPM scapegoat, not Jamie Dimon.  Well played, JD.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 20:00 | 2422367 HellFish
HellFish's picture

Wrong.  I'll take Dimon's head too.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 18:01 | 2422173 Convolved Man
Convolved Man's picture

Ahh, come on now.

How the hell are the 99% going to have faith in continued funding for social welfare programs if these high income tax bracket people keep f'ing up and losing their jobs?

Let's settle down, cool off and re-think this...

 

Screw it.  Da' bitch is going down.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 18:05 | 2422178 Dingleberry
Dingleberry's picture

8th highest paid chick on Wall and Broad (pardon the pun)???  

Clawbacks, anyone?????

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 18:05 | 2422181 UncleBubba
UncleBubba's picture

"Of course, if these three individuals had made money, instead of losing it, they would have received multi-million dollar bonuses."

Sometimes you gotta go all in, and play the russian roulette hoping that you'll get those millions.  Worst case scenario - you 'resign'

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 18:13 | 2422189 Eric L. Prentis
Eric L. Prentis's picture


Jamie Dimon should shut his trap and resign already.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 18:23 | 2422205 Dollar Bill Hiccup
Dollar Bill Hiccup's picture

You'll see Santa Claus check into a drug rehab clinic before you see that one resign.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 20:49 | 2422448 Gordon Freeman
Gordon Freeman's picture

Right--that's just what he's going to do...

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 18:12 | 2422191 sof_hannibal
sof_hannibal's picture

corzined

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 18:18 | 2422192 Corduroy
Corduroy's picture

http://www.legalmomentum.org/news-room/photo-albums/unsorted/13617.jpg

Hot in 2008 (Both of them work for JPM - Not sure what their value add is...)

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 18:15 | 2422194 Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

The sad truth is that Ina Drew and all the others mentioned as departures would have to work another 100 years for free to recover the losses on these trades. That's just the ones they have recognized so far. I’ve made some bad investments in my life, but, never one where I lose ten times more than I started with.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 18:51 | 2422235 Convolved Man
Convolved Man's picture

What I find particularly galling, is that her position affords her professional and social connections in the upper echelons of power, prestige and wealth.  These will be resources she can draw on to maintain her 1% social status.  Had stricter regulations been drafted and enforced regarding JP Morgan's investing/trading/hedging/betting activities, it's possible that her actions may have been prosecuted as criminal violations.  As such, her social standing would be no higher than a convict.     

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 20:54 | 2422450 Gordon Freeman
Gordon Freeman's picture

Yes! Sricter drafting! More regualtion!

Why has no one thought of this before?????????????????

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 18:41 | 2422233 Ides of Marc
Ides of Marc's picture
Oh here! Quick.. lets scape goat a few people so Joe Public thinks there’s justice and restitution!!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/13/jpmorgan-resignations-three-expected-to-resign_n_1513305.html

Meanwhile.. nothing fucking changes. Ever.

As is EV.ER.

Obummer WON’T / CAN’T do it. And that shithead bully Romney is as much the problem.

It will be, once again, the choice between pure EVIL and mostly EVIL -- America is SO. F-----D!! No wonder we're at where we are. It's blatantly obvious no matter what happens, who becomes preszy... that HOPEY CHANGEY ain't EVER going to happen. Short of a revolution there will ALWAYS be the bankers and they will never let go control. The more you change and regulate the more they'll find loopholes.

That's why this time I am NOT playing the game. Call it a wasted vote -- but I am voting my conscious. RON PAUL.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 18:58 | 2422251 dolph9
dolph9's picture

These boomer fuckers will be fertilizer eventually.

Same will happen to us, of course, but maybe we'll outlast them so we can spit on their graves.

I know these boomer middle aged women "I've got no sex appeal but I've got money and power" types.  I'm working for one right now.

Remember, these are the same women who have castrated us our entire lives with feminism and "we are the world" bullshit.

Fucking cows.

Oh, yeah, happy mother's day.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 19:39 | 2422332 lynnybee
lynnybee's picture

  ' Oh, yeah, happy mother's day. '     thank you for remembering all those selfless moms out there who cooked & cleaned & ran thousands of loads of laundry, & ran a household so you'd be safe & well-cared for as a child.   the moms who luved unconditionally even tho the kids were ingrates, are you wishing those moms a happy mothers day ?  

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 19:46 | 2422340 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

Obviously that one was deprived of a mother's love.

Happy Mom's Day, Lynny!

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 21:01 | 2422458 RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

Good to see you Lynny.  Happy Mum's Day!

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 20:47 | 2422442 kekekekekekeke
kekekekekekeke's picture

ugh things like you are why I am pro-abortion

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 21:09 | 2422464 Kayman
Kayman's picture

kekekekekekeke

And unfortunately your mother wasn't.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 23:44 | 2422709 kekekekekekeke
kekekekekekeke's picture

do you understand how abortions work just because I was carried to term and born doesn't mean my mom has not had an abortion ugh

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 18:49 | 2422253 David Fiderer
David Fiderer's picture

The term "hedge" has been degraded beyinod all recognition. A clever person can always find a way to rationalize a long or short position as a "hedge."

None of Markit's indices--especially the ABX, the TABX  and the Primex--were designed to facilitate true hedges; they were designed so that a handful of Wall Street insiders could manipulate various Milli Vanilli "markets." 

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