FBI Opens Inquiry Into JPM Loss

Tyler Durden's picture

Earlier we were complaining that the newsflow was on its way to getting full-retard surreal. It just crossed that line.

From NBC:

NY FBI Opens Inquiry into JPMorgan Chase Loss

 

The FBI in New York has opened an inquiry into JP Morgan Chase's $2 billion loss, NBC 4 New York has learned.

 

People familiar with the matter tell NBC 4 New York that the inquiry is not a criminal investigation. The FBI is taking a preliminary look at the incident.

 

JPMorgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon disclosed last week that the bank had lost the $2 billion by making a bad bet with so-called credit derivatives.

 

Investors lopped off nearly 10 percent from JPMorgan's stock price the next day, and 3 percent more on Monday. Since Dimon made the announcement, nearly $20 billion in market value has evaporated.

Sooooo: FBI jobs created or saved investigating JPM: +10,000?

Translated: the FBI has been unleashed to investigate how a bailed out TBTF bank with full government backstop can possibly lose money, and to arrest those responsible.

The good news: this surely means that the FBI will certainly now look at recent vaporization events at MF Global. Right??? Right???

The scariest news of the day: FBI agents are now using Bloomberg Terminals.