This page has been archived and commenting is disabled.

Fed To Accelerate Stress Test Result Release Following JP Morgan Disclosure

Tyler Durden's picture




 

As noted earlier when we said that Jamie Dimon (who just happens to be one of two Class A directors at the NY Fed) just showed the Fed who is boss, the Fed has now been "forced" to release the Stress Test results today at 4:30 pm instead of as previously scheduled on March 15. Jamie Dimon is now officially defining the Fed's timetable. This is all in jest of course: Dimon would never do anything without preauthorization from Bill Dudley, which means that even as the FOMC statement was a big yawn, the JPM release less than an hour later was planned purely to ramp stocks into the close on the lack of a definitive promise by the Fed to keep printing. Well played gents.

The WSJ has more on this glaring example of just who runs stuff in this banana republic:

The Federal Reserve will release the results of its latest stress tests today at 4:30 p.m. Eastern time, two days before it had planned to unveil the sensitive review of big banks.

 

The schedule change came after J.P. Morgan Chase & Co . sent out a news release announcing it had passed the stress test. J.P. Morgan said it will raise its dividend and authorized a $15 billion stock repurchase program.

 

Bankers were scrambling Tuesday after the unexpected timing of J.P. Morgan's announcement. Several bankers said they are pleased with their banks' results but weren't willing to give out specifics before the Fed's own statement.

 

The Fed had planned to release the results of this year's Comprehensive Capital Analysis and Review, or stress tests, on Thursday afternoon. It decided to move up the timing after some banks had disclosed their results, the Fed said. The tests look at how the 19 biggest U.S. banks would fare in a severe downturn, including an unemployment rate of 13%, a 21% decline in housing prices and a 50% drop in equity prices.

 

- advertisements -

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
Tue, 03/13/2012 - 15:58 | 2251564 Mongo
Mongo's picture

So at least.. the fed is stressed?

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:01 | 2251585 whatsinaname
whatsinaname's picture

What are these stress tests for ?

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:09 | 2251592 stocktivity
stocktivity's picture

It's not that I don't agree with everything Tyler says because I do. It's just that the Fed, IMF, ECB, and all the rest have an infinite amount of money to print and throw at this stuff. They have creamed everyone who has gone short. They will continue to do so because they can keep printing and can carry this ponzi scheme for much longer than we think. I've been sitting on the sidelines watching for a year and nothing has occurred to change my mind.  You can't beat them....you can't....it's all cooked....you can't beat them. It's all Bullshit!

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:12 | 2251644 jcaz
jcaz's picture

True, it's not that you disagree-  you simply don't understand....

Try reading a little history, circa 1920 Germany, and stop back when you have a grasp.....

Oh but wait- this time is different, right?

 

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:17 | 2251676 Skid Marks
Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:26 | 2251725 Jake88
Jake88's picture

That should be good for a couple hundred points on the DOW.

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:36 | 2251765 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

What I'd like to see is whether the banks could pass stress tests after having to mark their assets to anything remotely approximating FMV, but I'd suppose that would reveal the great insolvency that would take down a good chunk (i.e. 25%+) of the financial institutions, so you can absolutely bet your ass that such a requirement would never happen in The Matrix Economy, Agent Smith.

In the meantime, keep buying the absolutely most toxic tickers that literally have net losses and baked-in forward net loss earnings models. that have already been 3, 5 and 10 baggers since The Bernank intervention/distortion/misallocation of 2008 forward, for sure fire winners of the new normal world.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 02:25 | 2253144 ZFiNX
ZFiNX's picture

The only way to win the game is not to play.

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:34 | 2251769 Vince Clortho
Vince Clortho's picture

How long will it take to get Greece to AAA?

With a Triple A rating, those bond yields look attractive.

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:25 | 2251723 sablya
sablya's picture

I don't think it will be different but there's no telling how long the central banks can keep this thing going.  They've mastered a few basic concepts since the days of the Weimar Republic such as spinning information to controlinvestor psychology.  Now the whole world is involved and the stakes are incredibly high.  No one really wants to believe that the whole world economic system will collapse.  People will believe a lie, any lie before they will believe that.  And that is what the whole thing is based on - as long as the CBs can get people to believe what they desperately WANT to believe, the thing can be made to go to on and on.  

I don't know what it will take to get people to REALLY lose confidence in the system, not just doubt the system superficially but to really believe it is unsustainable.  

 

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:47 | 2251819 withnmeans
withnmeans's picture

The general populous has no idea, most do not care "the ones with a job", only the ones without a job or retired "they really care". As long as the 401k's are still producing, their "GOLDEN".

As far as the World mass producing "fiat", will it come to a stop, hmm, yes, not soon enough. When will it stop, One thing has to happen when the whole world is printing, I use the analogy of playing CHICKEN, somebody has to chicken out first, when this happens "one would think it would be the ECB" then there will have to be some restructuring of all currencies in the world. The restructuring may or may not be pretty, as all central banks will need to reel in the funny money or collapse.

Yes, Weinmar Rep. is still very much a good example, that's why history repeats!

I'm afraid the U.S. will be a second rate currency in a matter of a few years at this rate.

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 19:10 | 2252187 pkea
pkea's picture

I am pretty sure that the Weimar's germany 1920s scenario will occur within 2 years. Now we are finally closer to this moment. What is really scary is what will happen after that. In the 1930s it didn't work very well with the rise of the third reich. We already have middle east war stepping on the heels.

 

on one hand, the chemical/ chase combo did well through the ww2 but then again they didn't have derivative market of this proportion back then.I'd say it will be another opportunity for them only to get bigger and more powerful like what they have now isn't enough...

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:19 | 2251693 tickhound
tickhound's picture

Nothing lasts forever... Certainly not "creating capital" to pay interest.

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:23 | 2251705 aerojet
aerojet's picture

You are correct.  So take your ball and go home.  There is no way for the majority of people in the world to build wealth.  You may get lucky with inheritance, the lottery, or perhaps creating a startup such as Facebook.  Wage slavery is all there really is--you work to maintain as good a lifestyle as you can, but that's it and you are one illness or major expense away from losing it all.

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:26 | 2251733 withnmeans
withnmeans's picture

Stress test in layman's terms: Lets say your playing the good ole board game of Monopoly "tm". Your are the banker, and you just came through the depression "good ole dirty 30's". As your are the bank of bad times, you have little or no money.

Now, lets say the government comes in "the Fed" and just starts printing something "aw hell, lets call it money". They don't want you to go out of business, so they give you all you want "and then some" and tell you do go hog wild, the sky is the limit, there is nothing stopping us from printing. There is some small stipulations, but no big deal. They want you to buy up the stock market, so it makes the "sheeple" think that all is well. The big bonus is you get to keep all of your winnings for FREE.

Now the government tells you "you being the bank", there is going to be a stress test. Don't worry, this is just a dog and pony show for the "sheeple", it will make it look like your bank is in great shape "even though there is no jobs, therefore no deposits, and you lost your ass on all of those bad loans to the "ignorant sheeple that couldn't live within means". We will give you all of the cash "paper" you need to make to make you look GREAT!

That is a quick version of a stress test.

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:39 | 2251743 earleflorida
earleflorida's picture

let's do some, 'back-of-the-envelope' calculations, shall we. the average u.s. family is on the hook for approx.$684k! ok. now - let's assume [such a nasty word?] by 2015-17 the the avg. american family of four's debt now has [sooner rather than later?] eclipsed $1,000,000.00 ? is this not servitude,... or for a better word, feudalism?     

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:02 | 2251595 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Ah, that explains why gold is down $30 then...

Bells go off: All Clear!

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:05 | 2251612 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

Fuckin a-holes had the bank test results already even though they were supposed to disclose 2 days later?? Do they always wait a few days later to disclose something they already have?

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:06 | 2251618 AbruptlyKawaii
AbruptlyKawaii's picture

talk about a stress test:


no wonder the "market" is up 200 points today...Bullsh!

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:13 | 2251655 SDRII
SDRII's picture

JPM leaked. Jamie Dimon was a director at the NYFED when Lehman went down. So was Fuld.

There is less than infinitesimal chance that this was a "leak". More like a coordinated massacre, being en vogue

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:32 | 2251763 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

JPM is simply posing the question "Who runs bartertown?"

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:36 | 2251778 Jake88
Jake88's picture

What exactly is all clear?

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 19:11 | 2252206 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Sorry, I should have put a /sarc on that.

"The Powers That Be" ring the bell that all is good...

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:17 | 2251680 toothpicker
toothpicker's picture

stress test my bazooka bitchez

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:07 | 2251622 LongSoupLine
LongSoupLine's picture

The tail (JPM) wagging the dog (Fed).  Now that's showing the world who's your bitch.

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 22:41 | 2252834 WillyGroper
WillyGroper's picture

A frat house appendage measuring contest. BB was just publicly emasculated.

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:00 | 2251570 Boilermaker
Boilermaker's picture

SURPRISE!!!!

I wonder it they are 'confidence building' positive results?

Oh man....I bought a whole seat but I only need the edge....I can't take the fucking suspense....

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:10 | 2251632 tempo
tempo's picture

This economy is much like the So CA real estate market in 2005 when subprime borrowers refincanced every 6 months at higher and higher prices taking money out for lavish vacations and toys. Now consumer sales are higher but only if the deficits increase with 50% of all Govt spending coming from debt. How long can the US finance trillion+ $ deficits w/o interest rates increasing and/or inflation showing up?? How much of AAPL's sales growth depends on central bank deficit stimulus? Everything is dependent on larger and larger deficits.

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:00 | 2251571 pkea
pkea's picture

Now, that's what I look forward to see. check out wfc and boa

 

 they really planned to hit 1400 today...

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:03 | 2251599 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

They will of course pass with flying colors. Then they will be able to take fed dollars and pass them through to investors in a small dividend hike.

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 15:59 | 2251576 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

JPM annoucement is one of transmission mechanism.

QE funds recycled back to the "real economy" via dividends.

I can smell velocity coming.

#greenshoots

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:02 | 2251591 Boilermaker
Boilermaker's picture

Yea, JPM dividends, that'll get the money flowing back to Bob the mechanic and Jane the secretary.

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:04 | 2251607 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

It actually will....as long as Bob is a Ferrari mechanic and Jane is the secretary of a very high end escort service.

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:08 | 2251625 Boilermaker
Boilermaker's picture

I should have been more specific.

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:09 | 2251629 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

I was being sarcastic.

Clearly the 80% of people whom own next to no equity will not benefit. Unless one believes in the ridiclous theory known as trickle down economics.

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:03 | 2251603 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

RIGHT now everyone can simply live off their JPM dividend check.

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 20:14 | 2252409 UP Forester
UP Forester's picture

Is .gov gonna give away JPM shares like cell phones, or can I get a coupon like the digital antenna receivers?

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 15:59 | 2251577 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

They should do these stress tests monthly and have each bank pass with flying colors, that will ensure 200pt up days at least once a month.

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:02 | 2251580 AL_SWEARENGEN
AL_SWEARENGEN's picture

Is Jamie Dimon the pitcher or catcher with Bernake?  For some reason I see Bernak as the one bent over..

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:03 | 2251598 pkea
pkea's picture

Since then do people think that the fed or bernank open his mouth or did anything independently?

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:06 | 2251613 T-roll
T-roll's picture

Bernank is the pitcher who throws his balls to Dimon to hold and give a tight squeeze when needed.  We the taxpayers play shortstop, or rather backstop, to their twisted game.  Obama, meanwhile, is somewhere in the outfield picking daisies.

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:01 | 2251583 SHEEPFUKKER
SHEEPFUKKER's picture

Yup, it was a perfect hand if one of your cards in the hole is a joker.

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:01 | 2251589 I think I need ...
I think I need to buy a gun's picture

i think we have a winner.........FOFOA.......congrats i think physical is going to venus and so is a physical barrel of oil...paper is burning except nominal gains in the stock market.....

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:11 | 2251642 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

+ $55,000

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 23:08 | 2252898 Solid
Solid's picture

Yes, FOFOA is looking more and more correct!

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:02 | 2251593 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Gee I wonder what the 'stress tests' will disclose this time....OH I bet I know- 'Theyre GRRRRRRRRREAT!'

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:10 | 2251637 tickhound
tickhound's picture

After testing how banks handle a 90% reduction in real estate prices, it was discovered that MARK to FANTASY held up brilliantly. 

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:11 | 2251640 Boilermaker
Boilermaker's picture

Well, honestly, what the fuck else would you expect?  Of course, they are total bullshit but it's enough justifiable cause to ramrod billions into the market and gun it higher.

Propoganda is an age old and proven tool.  Granted, they're taking it to an absolutely fucking absurd and unprecedented level...but, hey, we're at the end game phase.  In other words, YOU AIN'T SEE SHIT YET.

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:04 | 2251604 soopy
soopy's picture

JPM stock up, silver down = JPM #winning.

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:10 | 2251638 YC2
YC2's picture

finally learned to love the bomb and my puts have been on fire.  Delta short 4x my stache of physical shrapnel or so.  That first hit didnt do it, and they tend to come back and finish the job.

 

love that avatar pic

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:04 | 2251608 homersimpson
homersimpson's picture

If the stress tests turn out "better than expected," how come the Wall Street scrubs always keep asking for a handout when stress does show up? Stress test my arse..

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:16 | 2251669 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

That's how fascism works.

Privatize the gains and socialize the losses.

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:22 | 2251700 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

So then we're really no better than 1930's Italians then...doesnt say much for any advancement in society or people learning their lesson from past terrible mistake theories at all. Same shit can just be done over and over again and people do nothing? Well I for one see nothing great about humans at this point at all.

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:27 | 2251738 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

Intelligence is a rare commodity. Rarer still is common sense.

There are individuals who posses intelligence and/or common sense. There are, however, no groups that posses these qualities because people gravitate to groups when they lack these qualities. Stupid people are rarely lonely. Intelligent people often are.

If you expect a group to display intelligence...you will be constantly disappointed.

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:05 | 2251611 Tic tock
Tic tock's picture

Looking at the last two days, I actually wonder if the Banks themselves know just who's in charge

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:06 | 2251614 TradingJoe
TradingJoe's picture

They needed another "catalyst" to push SP over 1374ish! They got it! Now back to sleep "y'all" :))! The next 6 months banks will bleed lower, again...! Nohting new!

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:06 | 2251619 DavidC
DavidC's picture

Can someone tell me what we just witnessed today? Are we really into a new paradigm where fundamentals mean nothing?

DavidC

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:09 | 2251630 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

yes.

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:13 | 2251653 Boilermaker
Boilermaker's picture

News flash....they haven't meant anything for over 30 years.  Only now you know it.

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:15 | 2251664 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Aw bullshit, things havent been like this for the last 30 years, theyre outta fuckin control now man.

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:19 | 2251692 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

I'm not sure about that 30 year assessment....5 years certainly. 10 years...yes perhaps...But at least they used to pretend it mattered. Now we don't even have that.

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 17:03 | 2251901 LikeClockwork
LikeClockwork's picture

I didn't keep an eye on my watch but were the MSM spouting the 1.1% well in advance of the actual release? Was it easy enough to pick without being a statistician. My condolences to the FAZ and other assorted shortholders today.

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:13 | 2251652 reading
reading's picture

We've been in this "new paradigm" for 3 years and 4 days...

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:48 | 2251801 Vince Clortho
Vince Clortho's picture

New paradigm ... tend to agree.  Seems like we are passing milestones at an accelerating pace.

Today was recogniton that the Greek Default/Bailout scheme went smoother than they could imagine...

They have been pushing the envelope for the last few years with stuff that would have been disasterous in a previous age.  TBTF bailouts, Complete MSM control, sacking the Constitution and the Bill of Rights, Runaway printing, and now they have turned the default of a Sovereign nation into a positive.

There is no way back to Kansas from where we are now.

It's just deeper and deeper into the Rabbit Hole.

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:08 | 2251623 Angel Face
Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:27 | 2251628 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

It's sure beginning to look like Benny boy was successful. Americans are borrowing and buying shit they don't need. The DOW is on its way to new highs. Obummer's borrowing cost is almost nothing. And there isn't a bear to be seen. All this on the backs of the poor and middle-class. The best central banker ever. I'm sure there's a special place for him and hell.

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:09 | 2251631 Bastiat009
Bastiat009's picture

I find it amazing how people accept being cheated by the Washington/wall street crowd. I say "cheated" I meant "sodomized." When will Americans react? 

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:14 | 2251656 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

I dont know, I dont get it at all. People just being fucked over left and right, and no one even says a word about it. Shows what people really are, worthless sheeple. 

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:18 | 2251686 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

As soon as they quit endorsing populist politics and politicians. 

So my guess is never. Especially with Super Pacs.

Americans including the last GOP candidate for Vice President don't know what the Fed and/or monetary policy is. 

The care about Kardashians Ass, the outcome of that Bachelor thing, and who fucks whom where. The fact that they are getting fucked repeatedly escapes them.

Here is the deal. Be an equity owner (not talking stock market here) or be one who gets fucked. You decide.

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:22 | 2251704 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

Forget the crowd. Forget the people. They, as a group, will never get it or care to.

Save yourself.

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:11 | 2251639 blu
blu's picture

Playerz gotta play

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:11 | 2251641 jjsilver
jjsilver's picture

What else would you expect from one of the shareholders in the NY FED.

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:14 | 2251657 john39
john39's picture

nice puppet show they put on, though...  sheeple eat it up.

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:12 | 2251646 bullet
bullet's picture

Dimon just unoffically became our new treasury secretary next year...

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:15 | 2251658 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

There is not such thing like a Federal Reserve Bank of the United States.

 

 

 

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:15 | 2251663 you enjoy myself
you enjoy myself's picture

no Ben, there's no effing way i'm getting suckered back in.  i don't care if we go straight to 1500 from here, i'm done playing this game until we approach something close to fair value. 

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:16 | 2251671 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

I guess theyre convinced theyre about to create a new 'stock market buying mania' any day now.

Only problem is they fucked up and bankrupted everyone first. 

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:16 | 2251666 All Rise
All Rise's picture

They have to get the markets up as much as possible before the oil price shock, European recession, and Euro currency slide to parity occur later this year.

 

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:18 | 2251685 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Yea it sure seems like they need to desperately pump for something, but what it is coming I dont know. Im not guessing 'later this year' though, sooner for this level of total insanity.

Im leaning towards a big false flag attack one of these mornings like an 'EMP' that knocks out the internet and everything else.

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:16 | 2251667 Angel Face
Angel Face's picture

If these banks are so healthy now, their assets should be taxed.  Bet they'd mark everything to market in a hurry.

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:17 | 2251678 ivars
ivars's picture

Today is exactly one year since my long term silver spot price prediction chart was created and published on March 13th, 2011, here:

http://saposjoint.net/Forum/viewtopic.php?f=14&t=2626&st=0&sk=t&sd=a&sta...

Disregard most of the text, please, except advice for silver buying in the end:

[quote]So, keep silver, but You can buy or repurchase it cheaper during 2011-early 2012 than now. [/quote]

I will take the opportunity given by this anniversary to analyze the charts accuracy during and over one year.

One year ago, on Friday, March 11, 2011, Silver closing spot price was 35,9USD/Oz. In my chart on March 13,2011 I predicted that Silver closing spot price on March 13th, 2012 will be 32,5 USD/oz. Today it is 33,2 as I write. So the accuracy of this END-to-END prediction over one year period is about 2 %.

Here You can see the shorter term part of the same chart ( red color) with comparison to actual silver spot prices over the year period. I would like to suggest what would have been stacker actions he/she would have followed the chart:

http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7204/6777724090_40679067e1_o.png

1) He/she  would never had bought silver above 32,5 USD but waited until it falls below it-except if he wanted to make short term profit on the peaks and troughs in April and August-September by going long before the peak and short at or after the peak.

2) He/she would have bought like hell in October 2011 when closing price was in the range 30-32

3) He/she would have been happily surprised by drop in December -January 2012 and buying with all his money when price went even below 30 USD

4) He/she would have never fallen into traps of April , August-September, October -November and February 2012 excitement and would not have bought above 32,5 -sold may be to make profit and bough back later.

Of course, no one is able to believe in any chart so much, especially from an unknown source, but some reliance on it after it had proved quite accurate ( don't by above 32,5) would have helped after September crash.

But now the scary part comes to test the chart- the fast raise and drop in silver which according to original chart should start already on April 1st 2012, and reach peak by October 2012, OR, according to the same chart that was little bit tuned (green)  in October 17th, 2011- slower and later ( from mid June 2012, with a real sharp rise starting mid September, double top November-December 2012).

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6234/6280601222_40413db4b9_o.jpg

From both charts, I would say start to believe its going to hit 60-70 in 2012  once its over 45-50  But there will be a crash again, so buying above 45-50 without intent to sell at the peak is not advisable.

Can't wait to see what will happen. I do not trade, but have bought some physical gold to test own charting. If I am as lucky as usual in financial matters, I will loose money. Hope that helps.

All my prediction charts are in one place here:

http://www.tfmetalsreport.com/forum/2814/ivars-charts

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:32 | 2251760 web bot
web bot's picture

I've been following you for over a year... and you've been pretty accurate. I'm going to keep watching.

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 17:01 | 2251884 ivars
ivars's picture

Thank You!

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 19:22 | 2252233 HungrySeagull
HungrySeagull's picture

You were pretty close.

I got out before the drop and got back in much lower than when I did last year.

Going to be an interesting year.

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 19:31 | 2252260 Chump
Chump's picture

Another +1 to you.

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:18 | 2251683 monopoly
monopoly's picture

It is the same play, with the same cast. Rates confirmed at 0 till infinity. They can never raise them. The debt will not let them. So, more liquidity into the system. What are we going to do with it. Hmmm. Ahh, the stock market. Articles on MSM about housing in PHX improving, jobs plentiful and salaries moving higher. Oil is up because of "growth". Geesh, some of you think it is because of monetization. Forget about it. We are all growing. So, since Alice is now happy, she sends the Mad Hatter on a tour of the country to expound on all that is good in the land of Wonder. And why would you need gold or silver when our currency is so loved as the reserve currency of the entire planet, and maybe even out to Pluto.

Ahhhh, now I can rest well tonight knowing that, Europe is well, we have healed and I can eat a new IPad. Good Night.

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:19 | 2251691 bgilliam83
bgilliam83's picture

Shit like this makes me wonder if anyone here actually knows what they are talking about, unless you are all single it's time to pet your loved ones and check your preps.  Not keep beating this skeleton corpse of a horse

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:23 | 2251712 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Agreed.

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:23 | 2251715 All Rise
All Rise's picture

Of course we don't know what we are talking about. We are all algos dude!

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:28 | 2251746 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

My dear, you know who got told the same thing in 2005 Dr. Micheal Burry. 

Nobody said being a contraian was easy.

Ask yourself when central planning has ever worked.

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:34 | 2251770 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

If you can't find a way to laugh at all this madness...it will surely kill you.

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:22 | 2251701 defn8Dog
defn8Dog's picture

Dimon's in your face early release, however you want to take that, doesn't seems to reflect a great deal of confidence beyond right now.  hmm.      

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:22 | 2251706 Hoody Who
Hoody Who's picture

All the ingredients of a great horror movie.

Coming to a city near you.

Isolation, Desolation, Lost Cause, Redemption

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:23 | 2251714 Boilermaker
Boilermaker's picture

Morgan Stanley passed and so did BB&T.

Both RAISE DIVIDENDS!!!!!!!!!!!

OH MY GOD!!!!!

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:26 | 2251728 youngandhealthy
youngandhealthy's picture

Tyler, agree with you, but so what? This is the way the game is played. I feel as sick as you about it and if I could I would claw the eyes out of Mr JD (of course a metaphor).

That man makes me feel like puke.

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:30 | 2251753 Jake88
Jake88's picture

Why did they feel the need to get this out early?  The markets were already up more than warranted. What are they afraid of? Last chance to find a buyer?

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:31 | 2251757 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

C fails stress test. Stock tanking.

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:41 | 2251792 Boilermaker
Boilermaker's picture

Better look again.

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 16:48 | 2251822 Jake88
Jake88's picture

What I don't undestand is why this news even warranted this mind blowing rally of almost a percent in an hour.  What else is going on?  Is this thing is gonna tank soon and they know they can't stop it.  Are they getting all they can out of it while buyers can be found.  Or did it just kick in short covering?

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 19:25 | 2252241 LikeClockwork
LikeClockwork's picture

Had my screen front centre on Short ETFs so I only surmise they drove up to kill shorts.

 

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 17:14 | 2251935 vote_libertaria...
vote_libertarian_party's picture

It's like the banking reporter on Bloomie mentioned last hour.  It's baloney.  100 pages of results from the Fed and no mention of where trillions in bad mortgage loans and bonds went.  No mention of CDS and exposure.

Fed:  "We are here to (clap) pump you up!"

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 17:17 | 2251947 headless blogger
headless blogger's picture

JP Morgan calls the shots. The Federal Reserve is really controlled by fewer people than originally thought. During the "OWS" last fall JP Morgan "donated" almost $5 million to the NY Police Department. Guess who's side the NY Police Department is on?

http://www.americanpendulum.com/2011/10/02/its-true-jp-morgan-gave-4-6-million-to-new-york-police-to-increase-security/

So really it looks like these mafia-donsteins are paid for the clubbing and brutality against peaceful protesters (and they had the tax payers fund the cameras).

Must be nice to have that kind of power. If I had it I'd gather these people up and roll the guillitine out, and get lots of popcorn.

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 17:20 | 2251961 Waterfallsparkles
Waterfallsparkles's picture

Makes you wonder if the Rally today was because so many Insiders had the results of the Stress tests way before everyone else.

The Banks that already had the results ramped the Market early with their enthusiasm that they passed the tests.  Of course the Retail Investor was left out of the Insider Trading Loop altogether.

Why am I not surprised.

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 17:20 | 2251964 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

i'm singing puff,theMagicDragon, here, BiCheZ!

then, maybe happyHappy,joyJoy!

later: goldie&the3Bears + 1 saigonBomber

TGIT

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 17:36 | 2252001 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

".. Jamie Dimon (who just happens to be one of two Class A directors at the NY Fed) .."

Fuck me what a small world this cartel lives in ...they can't even get enough crones to look like there's no obvious corruption

Roll on the Grim Reaper and the culling, not many heads to take away at least

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 19:35 | 2252275 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Fuck Jamie Dimon and J.P. Morgue.

Have I said that before?

Don't think I can say it enough.

Fuck Jamie Dimon and J.P. Morgue and the Kleptoligarchy.

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 20:52 | 2252524 unununium
unununium's picture

3-4 PM today may have been the only window to sell.

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 21:19 | 2252606 cnhedge
Tue, 03/13/2012 - 23:48 | 2252960 swani
swani's picture

Jamie Dimon is so macho. I'm wet just thinking about it.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 03:02 | 2253182 jack stephan
jack stephan's picture

Obi-Wan: You were right about one thing, master. The negotiations were short. 

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!