• Tim Knight from...
    04/28/2016 - 00:27
    I was expecting a few boring candidate statements of the U.S. Senate - AKA the World's Most Exclusive Club - but, boy, was I wrong. Just take a look at some of these gems.
  • Tim Knight from...
    04/28/2016 - 00:27
    I was expecting a few boring candidate statements of the U.S. Senate - AKA the World's Most Exclusive Club - but, boy, was I wrong. Just take a look at some of these gems.

Fed's Beige Book Is Out

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Everyone will be scouring for apocalyptic suggestions (need.moar.NEW Kew - EEE) in the following...

  • FED SAYS `HIRING WAS STEADY OR SHOWED A MODEST INCREASE'
  • FED SAYS ECONOMY EXPANDED AT `MODERATE PACE' LAST MONTH
  • FED SAYS `AUTOMOBILE SALES GENERALLY REMAINED STRONG'
  • FED: `CONTACTS WERE SLIGHTLY MORE GUARDED IN THEIR OPTIMISM'
  • FED SAYS `INFLATION REMAINED MODEST ACROSS DISTRICTS'
  • FED SAYS MANUFACTURING EXPANDED, CONSUMER SPENDING WAS STEADY
  • FED ECONOMIC SURVEY COVERS PERIOD FROM LATE APRIL UNTIL MAY 25
  • FED SAYS DEMAND WAS STRONGEST IN AUTO AND STEEL MANUFACTURING

...And won't find them. So: just what basis will the Fed have to do more QE again? Paging Jon Hilsenrath: Jon? Jon?

Looks a little brighter than most expected...

quite a few 'anti'-QE words - Strong, Sustained, Increased, Improved

not many end of world words...

Source: Fed-MMM JV

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Wed, 06/06/2012 - 14:05 | 2500224 RyanW525
RyanW525's picture
  • FED SAYS SPIDERMAN TOWELS SALES EXPLODED DURING 2Q
Wed, 06/06/2012 - 14:15 | 2500267 idea_hamster
idea_hamster's picture

Fed Beige Book says, "Mr. Paper Gold, meet Mr. Monkeyhammer."

Wed, 06/06/2012 - 14:17 | 2500281 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

So... is this a double-headfake, a triple-headfake, or a double-double-headfake?

Honestly, it's hard to keep up these days.

Wed, 06/06/2012 - 14:21 | 2500290 flacon
flacon's picture

Hey Bernanke! FUCK YOU!

This whole "market" is fuckin' mental. 

Wed, 06/06/2012 - 14:28 | 2500343 LULZBank
LULZBank's picture

Hey Bernanke! FUCK YOU!

Whats wrong with you, maan???!!!

The guy is destroying the economy, ruining lives and you are promising him sexual fantasies?!

Wed, 06/06/2012 - 14:35 | 2500376 flacon
flacon's picture

How does this sound:

Hey Bernanke! GO FUCK YOURSELF!

Wed, 06/06/2012 - 14:40 | 2500391 Aziz
Aziz's picture

The big print is coming, eventually. Not sure there will be much left when it comes, though. Check to the Fed, check to the ECB, check to the Bank of England. They keep checking and cards keep falling but nobody is hitting anything. And funny to watch all the pathetic zombie media (Atlantic Monthly, BusinessWeek, etc etc) coming out with OMFG THERE IS DEFLATION articles.

Wed, 06/06/2012 - 14:46 | 2500420 bonderøven-farm ass
bonderøven-farm ass's picture

......MEH......

Monetary Event Horizon.....hedge accordingly.

Wed, 06/06/2012 - 14:59 | 2500470 kralizec
kralizec's picture

Beige?  Shouldn't this book be brown?  Like a big brown hole...

Wed, 06/06/2012 - 15:01 | 2500487 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

BLACK HOLE

Wed, 06/06/2012 - 15:46 | 2500652 spentCartridge
spentCartridge's picture

Corn hole

Wed, 06/06/2012 - 15:04 | 2500498 LULZBank
LULZBank's picture

How does this sound:

Hey Bernanke! GO FUCK YOURSELF!

He'll probably say, what do you think Im doing now and once Im finished it will be everybody else's turn.

Wed, 06/06/2012 - 14:19 | 2500291 The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

triple double. dribble. drivel.

Wed, 06/06/2012 - 14:26 | 2500334 flacon
flacon's picture

Ben Bernanke in a dress: Warmup triple Axel:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8JM5Ed3ardM

Wed, 06/06/2012 - 14:29 | 2500347 WhyDoesItHurtWh...
WhyDoesItHurtWhen iPee's picture

dodecatuple headfake

Wed, 06/06/2012 - 14:20 | 2500293 Dixie Rect
Dixie Rect's picture

Bernank exploded into his spidrman towel

Wed, 06/06/2012 - 14:28 | 2500340 Stuck on Zero
Stuck on Zero's picture

Those weren't Spider Towel "sales."  The towels were given to all Americans by President Obama to spur the economy. 

 

Wed, 06/06/2012 - 14:40 | 2500399 idea_hamster
idea_hamster's picture

"Bernank exploded into his spidrman towel"

If by 'his spiderman towel,' you mean my parents' fixed income portfolo P&L statement, then yes.

Wed, 06/06/2012 - 15:24 | 2500566 Cupid Stunt
Cupid Stunt's picture

Cut out and keep.

Wed, 06/06/2012 - 15:09 | 2500519 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Spiderman has a boner.

Wed, 06/06/2012 - 15:24 | 2500564 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

Spiderman towels can be printed. Do you get the idea?

Wed, 06/06/2012 - 16:00 | 2500692 Right-on Left-off
Right-on Left-off's picture

Doesn't anybody know whats up for economic new tomorrow?  Well here it is:

Weekly jobless claims

Flow of funds household debt

Consumer credit

You can just forget about discussing the beige book.  Any bets on what the market will do tomorrow?  Like morgue says, 'QE3 rally lasting for hours, not weeks'.  My bet is that also includes beige book rallies.

Wed, 06/06/2012 - 14:06 | 2500226 CClarity
CClarity's picture

Gonna have to use Europe as the excuse for QE, but that also opens door for them to buy European sov. debt since there aren't enough Treasuries for them to buy for Op Twist continuation.

Wed, 06/06/2012 - 14:18 | 2500284 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

So be it. First QEpisode went to inflate China, second QEpisode went to 'Europe' and now finally we might get a targeted third QEpisode for just Spain.

Beautiful.

Wed, 06/06/2012 - 14:06 | 2500231 WhyDoesItHurtWh...
WhyDoesItHurtWhen iPee's picture

MEH !

Wed, 06/06/2012 - 14:24 | 2500318 Commander Cody
Commander Cody's picture

Not true meh.  No CAPS, no exclamation!

Wed, 06/06/2012 - 14:49 | 2500433 DosZap
DosZap's picture

Lies,all lies.

Wed, 06/06/2012 - 14:06 | 2500232 urbanelf
urbanelf's picture

Armageddon will resume after this scheduled break.

Wed, 06/06/2012 - 14:15 | 2500270 t_kAyk
t_kAyk's picture

Please wait until I get back from vacation, I'd hate to miss Farcebook stock hitting the pavement. 

Wed, 06/06/2012 - 14:07 | 2500233 SeverinSlade
SeverinSlade's picture

GS is wrong yet again on QE3.  Perhaps they were using the hopium to cut the last of their equity exposure?

Bernanke seems likely to hint at further LSAP but to indicate that the Fed will still take the wait and see approach.

Bonds once again show that they know more than stocks do.

Now the question is how long this hopium induced meltup lasts.

Wed, 06/06/2012 - 14:22 | 2500294 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

You know, arguing that GS is "wrong" is like arguing what Bugs Bunny's favorite color is.

In other words, some entities only exist logically in a ficitional world. To engage in arguing with them is to lose one's bearing, following them into whatever fantasy they might spin.

Wed, 06/06/2012 - 14:31 | 2500358 SeverinSlade
SeverinSlade's picture

Spot on.  But you understood my point.

When GS is wrong, they're right.  They're wrong for their clients but right for themselves.

Wed, 06/06/2012 - 14:07 | 2500235 Beevreetr
Beevreetr's picture

F'ED

 

Wed, 06/06/2012 - 14:08 | 2500236 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Need....Free.....Moneez...

Wed, 06/06/2012 - 14:23 | 2500308 El Viejo
El Viejo's picture

CTRL-P 

CTRL-P 

CTRL-P 

CTRL-P 

Wed, 06/06/2012 - 14:09 | 2500237 LongSoupLine
LongSoupLine's picture

Finally, Recovery!

ramp the ES more!!!

 

oh, wait..no QE? (sell, sell, sell!)

Wed, 06/06/2012 - 14:08 | 2500238 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

How is Obama going to give me money now?

Wed, 06/06/2012 - 14:28 | 2500341 midgetrannyporn
midgetrannyporn's picture

QE$3KMEBITCHEZ!

Wed, 06/06/2012 - 14:08 | 2500240 nwskii
nwskii's picture

That torpedoed Gold

Wed, 06/06/2012 - 14:09 | 2500244 SeverinSlade
SeverinSlade's picture

Somewhere, Steve Liesman is pissed right now.  Looks like he'll have to wait on that IMF/FED bailout of Europe.

Wed, 06/06/2012 - 14:25 | 2500329 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

WAT? Puppets don't care about the script! That's not how they work.

Wed, 06/06/2012 - 14:09 | 2500245 lemonobrien
lemonobrien's picture

SELL! SELL! SELL!

Wed, 06/06/2012 - 14:10 | 2500246 AccreditedEYE
AccreditedEYE's picture

Moderate Growth = NO QE

Wed, 06/06/2012 - 15:45 | 2500649 Cursive
Cursive's picture

@AccreditedEYE

That's it in a nutshell.  They COULD do QE3; stragner things have happened, but it looks highly unlikely right here.

Wed, 06/06/2012 - 14:11 | 2500250 eclectic syncretist
eclectic syncretist's picture

Spy is all the way up to downtrendline resistance.  A good old market crash will provide the perfect excuse for the Fed to protect all our 401k accounts by buying more bad mortgage debt from banks and giving it to taxpayers.

Right.  It doesn't make any sense at all but that's the way I see it!

Wed, 06/06/2012 - 14:11 | 2500252 JmanSilver.Gold
JmanSilver.Gold's picture

just a daily excuse to bomb gold and silver, which just happened on gold.

Wed, 06/06/2012 - 14:14 | 2500268 LULZBank
LULZBank's picture

Are you complaining?

If you are then you havent figured out that game yet.

Wed, 06/06/2012 - 14:13 | 2500255 LULZBank
LULZBank's picture

* FED SAYS CHEAP GOLD AND SILVER FOR EVERYONE AGAIN. TAKE THAT MOMO MONKEYS.

Wed, 06/06/2012 - 14:12 | 2500256 Peter K
Peter K's picture

Can't even skew a few numbers when they need it. :)

Wed, 06/06/2012 - 14:13 | 2500259 JmanSilver.Gold
JmanSilver.Gold's picture

more lying fraud and bullshit from the chairsatan and his miserable minions.   Generic platitude speak, fraud and lies.   'Our outlook remains optimistic', LMAO wow.  'Credit quality improved'.   Do they ever have to back any of this bullshit with fact?

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