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Fed's Twitter Arrival uZIRPed By Hecklers, And Real Time Fed Twitter Tracker

Tyler Durden's picture




 

If the Fed thought it could boldly go where hundreds of millions have gone before (in a vain attempt to be cool, hip and relevant - Twitter of course - with the @FederalReserve handle naturally), all in a quest for faux transparency and openness, which nobody who is even remotely familiar with the Fed's actions is buying, without getting a few heckles in the process, it was wrong. Unfortunately, as the currency debasement race has simply taken a short breather ahead of a presidential election and a possible regional war with wide-ranging commodity price implications, before it resumes into the frantic final lap, the below sample is merely a modest appetizer of what is yet to come.

Courtesy of John Lohman

And here is a real time tracker of all @FederalReserve tweets:

 

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Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:03 | 2255950 Lost Wages
Lost Wages's picture

Fed plans on following TBTF blue chip tweets like Ashton Kutcher & Lady Gaga.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:20 | 2255983 redpill
redpill's picture

Thanks to Operation Tweet, maximum message length on Twitter will now inflate by 2% per year.  So you can look forward to 143 character messages next year, officially (although the real limit will be 154).

 

Oh, and I did my part:

 

@federalreserve How do you feel about Greg Smith's scathing editorial about Goldman Sachs, since most of you used to work there?

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:23 | 2256019 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

Well played sir.

 

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:41 | 2256056 MillionDollarBonus_
MillionDollarBonus_'s picture

The Federal Reserve is trying to reach out to propagandized and brainwashed libertarian youths, and the internet libertarian ‘machine’ is out in full swing making sure that NOBODY is able to hear the other side of the story. It’s ironic that this assault on the Federal Reserve Bank’s educational initiative should coincide with a fantastic equity rally fuelled by positive NFP results, which in 2008 would have been unthinkable. It is only due to the decisive and well-thought out actions of congress and our Federal Reserve that we are now on the road to recovery. Young people WILL learn about the virtues of a centrally planned stable economy whether internet pirates and weedy zit-faced anarchists like it or not.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 19:14 | 2256185 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Someone ask Ben if he is or isn't printing money; vis-a-vis two separate, contrary statements made to the same 60 Minutes Reporter, 21 months apart, as summarized by Jon Stewart here:

 

The Big Bank Theory - The Daily Show with Jon Stewart

 

www.thedailyshow.com/watch/tue-december-7-2010/the-big-bank-theory

 

Amerikans want to know!

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 08:46 | 2257216 Badabing
Badabing's picture

MDB I hate these guys also what would this great government be without the Federal Reserve.

Libertarianism generally refers to the group of political philosophies which emphasize freedom, individual liberty, and voluntary association. Libertarians generally advocate a society with little or no government power.

The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy defines libertarianism as the moral view that agents initially fully own themselves and have certain moral powers to acquire property rights in external things.[1] Libertarian historian George Woodcock defines libertarianism as the philosophy that fundamentally doubts authority and advocates transforming society by reform or revolution.[2] Libertarian philosopher Roderick Long defines libertarianism as "any political position that advocates a radical redistribution of power from the coercive state to voluntary associations of free individuals", whether "voluntary association" takes the form of the free market or of communal co-operatives.[3] According to the U.S. Libertarian Party, libertarianism is the advocacy of a government that is funded voluntarily and limited to protecting individuals from coercion and violence.[4]

Libertarian schools of thought differ over the degree to which the state should be reduced. Anarchistic schools advocate complete elimination of the state. Minarchist schools advocate a state which is limited to protecting its citizens from aggression, theft, breach of contract, and fraud. Some schools accept public assistance for the poor.[5] Additionally, some schools are supportive of private property rights in the ownership of unappropriated land and natural resources while others reject such private ownership and often support common ownership instead.[6][7][8] Another distinction can be made among libertarians who support private ownership and those that support common ownership of the means of production; the former generally supporting a capitalist economy, the latter a socialist economic system. Contractarian libertarianism holds that any legitimate authority of government derives not from the consent of the governed, but from contract or mutual agreement, though this can be seen as reducible to consequentialism or deontologism depending on what grounds contracts are justified.[9][10][11] Some Libertarian socialists reject deontological and consequential approaches and use historical materialism to justify direct action in pursuit of liberty.[12]

Sat, 04/21/2012 - 16:22 | 2363951 JW n FL
JW n FL's picture

 

 

6% of WHAT? are the Share Holders (Owners) of the Federal Reserve Paid? dividends are 6% by LAW a year?

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 19:13 | 2256190 weyes1
weyes1's picture

Brilliant.

Did you do that?

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 19:29 | 2256234 The trend is yo...
The trend is your friend's picture

What's brilliant is this move by the Fed.  It can A) gather info on all the negative twitters, B) allow faster delivery of BS and C) let algos trade off of every tweet as if it's factual information.  How else will they ramp this hot air ballon into the stratosphere

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 19:40 | 2256259 Manthong
Manthong's picture

I don’t twit or twat or any of that, but would someone please let them know that thanks to their flighty policies, my retirement savings isn’t worth a bag of birdseed or anymore and that since their FRN’s are hardly worth lining the bottom of a cage, I would just like to ram it all right up their tail.

 

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 21:23 | 2256451 Fidel Sarcastro
Fidel Sarcastro's picture

No, no, no...MilliionDollarFuckTard says this is great, and surely you're just a malcontent "libertarian."  

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 22:23 | 2256567 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

I merely tweeted that I would "love for Bernanke & Dudley to enjoy their next bowl of clam chowder or lobster bisque."

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 23:47 | 2256726 cocoablini
cocoablini's picture

its to compile a haters friends list for later use or they are tweeting codewords for bots. thats what makes sense. not a marketing forum but a way to disperse infor to computers to frontrun and manipulate

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 05:15 | 2257016 Poor Grogman
Poor Grogman's picture

All that twitters is not gold

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:44 | 2256092 true brain
true brain's picture

Centrally planned stable economy?

 

Bloomberg headline today: Jp Morgan: China now in hard landing.

How's that for centrally planned economy? Is this guy for real or he is just trolling for fun?

 

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 19:05 | 2256153 surf0766
surf0766's picture

Trolling for fun. If you read it enough times you can see the humor.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 19:15 | 2256198 true brain
true brain's picture

Priceless.

 

No wonder he's unfazed by all the criticism. hat off.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 22:42 | 2256601 trav7777
trav7777's picture

setting aside for a moment that MDB is an obvious troll, what in the hell gives you the idea that anyone should give a shit about being criticized by a bunch of idiots?

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 23:17 | 2256658 true brain
true brain's picture

Not just idiots; awakened idiots- huge difference. 

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 21:22 | 2256450 Yes_Questions
Yes_Questions's picture

 

 

@surf, I'm afraid if I read it enough times I'll be turned into a mindless, well, serf..

 

++1

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 19:07 | 2256160 BLOTTO
BLOTTO's picture

Tyler and Zerohedge - brilliant!

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 19:59 | 2256299 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

If only I had a Twatter account.. could upload YouPorn recommendation links to the SEC. Have you had the opportunity to scan thru the followers? Fucking hilarious.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 21:35 | 2256478 Calmyourself
Calmyourself's picture

FLB, you gots a new handle..  How's the wife?

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 23:37 | 2256714 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Not sure about FLB acronym. Been divorced twice & my new wifey of 5+ years are not married into the corrupt system of getting hitched, while the state bleeds you of income to prop up unicorn deficit recovery plans. We stay off the radar. Some people never learn. :(

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:47 | 2256101 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Well MDB, they wanted to "collect data" so I guess they're getting it...right out of thin air too...lol.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:52 | 2256118 Whoa Black Barry
Whoa Black Barry's picture

You my bitch MBD

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 19:12 | 2256183 Stanwick
Stanwick's picture

But she's my fuckin muppet

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:59 | 2256133 CvlDobd
CvlDobd's picture

That's a little closer to my old MDB. Crank the sarcasm thickness to 11!

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 19:48 | 2256275 thatthingcanfly
thatthingcanfly's picture

MDB's shit used to be funny; but it's grown stale.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 19:08 | 2256166 Elwood P Suggins
Elwood P Suggins's picture

MDB - a weedy zit-faced troll.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 19:10 | 2256176 Crab Cake
Crab Cake's picture

They tell you to jump,
and you say how high.
You play dead,
you gotta fuck'n bullet in your head.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 22:10 | 2256547 TheVirginian-HGWT
TheVirginian-HGWT's picture

I give a shout out to the living dead
Who stood and watched as the feds cold centralised
So serene on the screen
You was mesmerised
Cellular phones soundin' a death tone
Corporations cold
Turn ya to stone before ya realise

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 22:23 | 2256566 a growing concern
a growing concern's picture

fuck you i won't do what you tell me

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 06:23 | 2257048 Ace Ventura
Ace Ventura's picture

Mothaf**kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah !!!!!!  HOOOAAHH!!!!!!

Epic stuff. Great anthem for the coming party (1776 Vol. 2)....even if RATM is a bit Che Guevara-ish in their worldview.

 

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 20:27 | 2256346 espirit
espirit's picture

Smith aka MDB -

Trying kind of hard for that federal reserve job aren't you?

Not get your million dollah bone-us from Golden Sacks?

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 21:04 | 2256418 putaipan
putaipan's picture

hey mbd- there is some guy named michael  twitting his brains out over there and needs your help ... badly. his sincerity is really much funnier than yours.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 21:21 | 2256447 Fidel Sarcastro
Fidel Sarcastro's picture

MillionDollarFuckTard says "Young people WILL learn about the virtues of a centrally planned stable economy..."

I can't say this strongly enough...commit suicide you fucking loser!  Central planning has been horrible everywhere it's tried.


Wed, 03/14/2012 - 22:45 | 2256605 trav7777
trav7777's picture

MDB, I have to give ya props, kid...even after ALL this time, there are still morons around here falling for it.  I truly marvel; keep it coming.

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 00:05 | 2256749 Antipodeus
Antipodeus's picture

"No million dollar  bonus for yoouuu!"


Thu, 03/15/2012 - 01:29 | 2256847 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

Did you say "centrally planned stable eonomy" ? Why if i was your mama I would tan your hide and abandon you on the Federal Reserve's front lawn. If you believe the employment statistics it just goes to show how informed you are because you might want to look at tax collections which have gone nowhere over the last 12 months. Losing a $20 an hour job and getting another for $10 an hour is not called a stable or improving job climate.

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 04:46 | 2256997 BeetleBailey
BeetleBailey's picture

@ MDB

Man...you are good...........

.....as a tool for big government utopian HORSE SHIT!

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 10:27 | 2257647 asparagui
asparagui's picture

The zits are gone!  You can hardly tell I had them!

Fri, 03/16/2012 - 05:04 | 2261095 MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

Since when is a centrally planned economy stable? So far all the centrally planned economies are failing from central planning. Too many planners, not enough workers. Too much about a single "plan" not enough about regional benefits - skills & people. I'd say immigration is too strict & that forcing interest rates to force export-benefit to one region or wage-benefit to one region at the expense of all others just makes slaves angry.

Angry slaves shut down economies.

Wed, 03/21/2012 - 11:34 | 2276737 Bollixed
Bollixed's picture

I'm voting for MDB as a write-in cadidate this year. God knows he's funnier than the current clown...

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:34 | 2256060 knukles
knukles's picture

What chickenshit...
An institution which at the heart of their mandate is public perceptions, a supposedly Lofty Serious Important institution which should be Absolutely Dripping with Gravitas is going to fuck around on Twitter!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Holy Horse Sperm, Benman!
You people are definitely in need of some serious professional counseling... psychological, perceptions mangement and mature financial professionals. 
Twitter is the land of infantile persons, immaturity, self absorbtion, insecurity, anal retentiveness, lesser inteligence (Bill Gross Tweets.  Listen, just trying to help here, big guy) people with far too much useless time on their hands (please give some thought to mortality, for Christ's sake, find somethiong better to do) with generally little value added in life. 
Holy cow....

Get a grip...
Seriously

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:59 | 2256138 trav7777
trav7777's picture

it's old people trying to stay "relevant" with all their edgy diversity hires

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 19:06 | 2256150 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

The Federal Reserve Hipsters.

Dudley and his iPadHD.

Bernank & his donkey/midget entourage.

Then you got Timmy over at Treasury, getting bootstomped by Dominatrix Diedre - speaking of which, where is Herr Merkel?

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 19:14 | 2256195 nmewn
nmewn's picture

I heard Energy Secretary Chu was sent to pick her up, but he drank way too much pond scum for energy, got behind the wheel of a Karma and ran over O'Barry's dogma ;-)

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 21:18 | 2256442 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Merkel is out rooting for truffles.

 

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 19:11 | 2256181 weyes1
weyes1's picture

trav, you asshole.

fuck you too.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 19:14 | 2256194 Whoa Black Barry
Whoa Black Barry's picture
hello
Thu, 03/15/2012 - 00:28 | 2256784 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Obam-ba-lam...

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 19:27 | 2256228 weyes1
weyes1's picture

Hey trav, take it easy.

I been enjoying your company for over two years, staring at your av giving me and everybody else here the finger - day after day, month after month.

I just wanted to say "fuck you" once. Just once.

Don't take it personally.

Its great having you around.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 22:46 | 2256607 trav7777
trav7777's picture

lol, say it twice then, why hold back?

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 01:19 | 2256840 weyes1
weyes1's picture

another time, buddy.

on your say so.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 21:19 | 2256445 thedrickster
thedrickster's picture

And.........Trav finds a way to slip "the blacks" into this thread.

 

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 22:48 | 2256610 trav7777
trav7777's picture

what an astonishingly bigoted thing to say.  I said diversity.  And you immediately see that as "black."

it never occurred to you that this could mean gays or asians, huh?  Shameful, your raycissm is.

You need to look inward to figure out why you're conditioned that words like diversity don't bring indians or hispanics to mind.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 23:54 | 2256627 thedrickster
thedrickster's picture

Damn you Trav, more thumbs up on your impassioned defense of diversity hiring practices than my peek into your dark soul. Well played sir, well played.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 19:12 | 2256188 Crab Cake
Crab Cake's picture

Ben is in need of a rope around his neck, and to be hung fron a lamp post.

#justiceserved

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 20:37 | 2256367 Things that go bump
Things that go bump's picture

Don't forget the fair trial first.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 23:21 | 2256667 Ms. Erable
Ms. Erable's picture

Fair trials are always followed by first-class hangings.

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 00:23 | 2256768 Teamtc321
Teamtc321's picture

No trial needed, so say's N D A A .............

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 19:13 | 2256192 BreadnH2O
BreadnH2O's picture

They make like rabbits with the notes....

They're just attempting the same things with birds - Chickenshit is right!

At least (as far as I'm aware) they can't fuck with Golden Eagles.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 23:03 | 2256630 buckethead
buckethead's picture

"with generally little value added in life."

 

It is the Fed....

 

Sounds like they found their girl. 

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:50 | 2256109 Tyler Durden
Tyler Durden's picture

Only if Tweets are part of the Core CPI. If Non Core, tweets may soon hit a few million characters but the Fed won't care.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:55 | 2256121 redpill
redpill's picture

Duh, all non-core tweets are transitory!

 

And your messages can be 2% longer, but they'll mean 10% less!

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 19:20 | 2256200 Cheesy Bastard
Cheesy Bastard's picture

Except for tweets about food or energy.  Oh yeah, and if you meant to type "steak" but accidently typed "cat food".

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 19:19 | 2256215 Blue Horshoe Lo...
Blue Horshoe Loves Annacott Steel's picture

Whoa.  The Man himself.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 21:12 | 2256421 SillySalesmanQu...
SillySalesmanQuestion's picture

Tyler's "Darth Vader Leaves the Empire" post today has been reported far and wide by many other media outlets...one for the ages good sir. Hehehe...I'll            be chuckling for days...   :)

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 19:34 | 2256240 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Tweets are the result of a technology, called twitter, that allows non-best friends forever of the FRBNY to publish as many core, ugly truths about the absolute destructiveness of The Non-Federal, Reserveless Non-Bank, as they wish at essentially no cost.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 19:47 | 2256273 TraitorsHang
TraitorsHang's picture

lolerskates
You win one internet from me, sir.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 20:04 | 2256309 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

Cue twitter nationalization in..

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 20:07 | 2256310 tekhneek
tekhneek's picture

At least we're limiting the bullshit that comes out of Bens mouth to 140 characters at a time.

Until he gets his Tweetelberg 5000... then we're fucked.

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 00:33 | 2256789 Nobody For President
Nobody For President's picture

You are fucking ON tonight RedPill - I'll have two of what you're having...

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 01:19 | 2256838 Athemos
Athemos's picture

Steve Forbes got in on the action too... 

The is now on twitter. Let’s hope it keeps them busy so there’s no time to weaken the dollar further.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 20:08 | 2256312 Silver Bug
Silver Bug's picture

Look out for the wave of hate!

 

http://silverliberationarmy.blogspot.com/

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:03 | 2255953 Flocking swans
Flocking swans's picture

Lulz out loud.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:45 | 2256094 Central Bankster
Central Bankster's picture

Maybe next time they will Tweet which banks pass the stress test so that Goldman Sachs and JPMorgan can't front run all the regular folks.  Hello, investigation!?

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:03 | 2255954 t_kAyk
t_kAyk's picture

beautiful...

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:04 | 2255955 JPM Hater001
JPM Hater001's picture

Yes, and you are on on the double triple secret probation list and spaces have been reserved for you at the nearest FEMA camp.

Rookie mistake....

Off the grid means off the grid.

No poking the bear.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:09 | 2255972 ffart
ffart's picture

Will they have free cookies and coffee at the FEMA camp?

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:26 | 2256030 scatterbrains
scatterbrains's picture

no! just IRS auditors.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:29 | 2256039 el Gallinazo
el Gallinazo's picture

No, but all the water you can breath.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:37 | 2256067 weyes1
weyes1's picture

fucking hilarious

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:46 | 2256083 847328_3527
847328_3527's picture

..you'll be locked in a room with a life insurance salesman for 8 hours a day for the duration of yoru natural born days.....during the remainder of the day you will be forced to watch Tom DeLay reruns on Dancing with the Stars over and over...and over with CNN Balloon Boy reruns during the commercials.

 

If you're super good, you can watch Cramer, non-stop for 24/7.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 19:17 | 2256210 Blue Horshoe Lo...
Blue Horshoe Loves Annacott Steel's picture

That's worse than waterboarding...or death.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 19:25 | 2256225 knukles
knukles's picture

Jesus man, that's cruel even by my standards.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:09 | 2255976 The Swedish Chef
The Swedish Chef's picture

Meanwhile, you are completley with that proxy and all... You read somewhere that it will keep you out of harms way.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:10 | 2255977 Cole Younger
Cole Younger's picture

Not sure about FEMA camps but I am sure all those that tweet will be on terrorist watch lists..

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:31 | 2256050 el Gallinazo
el Gallinazo's picture

Rocken Robin lets out a tweet over Ohio and is downed by an air to air missile.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 22:08 | 2256544 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

The funny thing about the driftnet-style monitoring of twitter messages is how easy it would be for anyone with control of a botnet to throw a wrench into the gears of the whole works.

The staggering amount of data to sort through requires some sort of automated sifting system. Yet with all the computing power that government waste can solicit, the needles that they've found in this Matterhorn sized haystack have been laughable.

If all the infected computers in a botnet were simultaneously issued a command to start sending various threatening messages containing certain key words through any twitter accounts found on the infected machines, two things would happen: the whole monitoring system would be brought to its knees by the work load, and half of the people on twitter would be under investigation.

 

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 09:37 | 2257408 exi1ed0ne
exi1ed0ne's picture

The problems have never been about obtaining information. It has been about trying to determine the quality and taste of water when having to drink from the fire hose. If anything, post-911 made the situation worse.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:46 | 2256097 zanez
zanez's picture

The terrorist list is already 20-50 percent of the population, so what difference does it make?

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:56 | 2256126 weyes1
weyes1's picture

If you're still sleeping, you are not a terrorist.

I doubt that 20% of the population have woken up.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:59 | 2256136 michael_engineer
michael_engineer's picture

What you say rings true in ways. And yet you chirp here?

Part of the crew, part of the ship.
Part of the crew, part of the ship.

Myself , I am hoping that instead of FEMA I get assigned to the Flying Dutchman. At least I'll get one day ashore every ten year.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 19:09 | 2256172 weyes1
weyes1's picture

I've never been to sea,

but I've been blown ashore a few times.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 19:16 | 2256207 Crab Cake
Crab Cake's picture

Come get some. My spot will have to go empty because we'll hold court right there in my front step, & I bet Ill even take a few jackboots to hell with me too.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:05 | 2255956 dick cheneys ghost
dick cheneys ghost's picture

good stuff

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:05 | 2255958 5880
5880's picture

Ron Paul sure does have a lot of alias

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 19:09 | 2256175 Stanwick
Stanwick's picture

We're just lucky he has no spawn

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:08 | 2255966 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

lmao

 

This is going to be epic.

 

The Fractional Reserveless Pond Scum from Jekyll Island will no doubt be slinking back into the shadow of their primordial ooze, soon.

 

Will someone please tweet that gold IS actually edible, but Federal Reserve Notes/Toilet Paper are not? Thanks.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:14 | 2255989 Renfield
Renfield's picture

Let's ask if they can get Bill Dudley to eat an iPad on national TV. I'd tune in.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:21 | 2256001 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

We need some tweets from Clueless Economist (picture of Paul Krugman, Ph.D as avatar), with the type of inane tweets Paul Krugman, Ph.D would actually tweet.

e.g. - Dr. Bernank; is it true that rising prices will grow GDP during times of declining real wages/rising U6?

e.g. - Dr. Bernank; how many licks does it now take to get to the center of a now smaller tootsie roll pop?

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 19:15 | 2256199 Blue Horshoe Lo...
Blue Horshoe Loves Annacott Steel's picture

lol.  If anyone doesn't get that, Dudley basically said the economy was great because the newest iPad was cheaper.  Gas, food, clothes?  Eh, as long as gadgets are cheaper...

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:49 | 2256105 847328_3527
847328_3527's picture

Here is the Jekyll Island book for free in pdf for those interested in an education:

 

http://ia600503.us.archive.org/33/items/Creature_From_Jekyl_Island/Jekyll.pdf

 

I thank the library archives for this nice freebie! Amazing what you can do without a $120,000 student loan.....

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 19:10 | 2256180 BLOTTO
BLOTTO's picture

Fuckin right its edible... ask Steve Jobs he snorted it probably.

White powder gold exists naturally in your body and is contained in small amounts in the herbs and foods that enhance the immune system and regeneration. The Egyptians, and others, created them in pure form.They understood an important alchemical quality regarding the use of these sacred monoatomic elements to accelerate the ascension process. Egyptian initiates often fasted prior to and during the consumption of white powder gold as well as monoatomic rhodium and iridium. This was not only for purification. They believed that the digestive acids in the stomach neutralize some of the alchemical properties of the monoatomic elements. (They form monoatomic chlorides in reaction with hydrochloric acid. Monoatomic rhodium, for example, becomes monoatomic rhodium chloride. Its chemical structure is different than monoatomic rhodium or standard rhodium chloride, and the physical properties of this rhodide are similar to an iodide, not a metal. The effect of monoatomic chlorides is positive but different. Theoretically monoatomic elements should not react with hydrochloric acid, but nobody told the molecules.

http://www.asc-alchemy.com/mono.html

Monoatomic Gold

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:08 | 2255971 ACP
ACP's picture

BWAHAHHAHHHAHHHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

Oh wait...

Maybe they just wanted to build an "enemies" list...

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 19:09 | 2256171 TheVirginian-HGWT
TheVirginian-HGWT's picture

What do you think your local fusion center is for?

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:09 | 2255975 navy62802
navy62802's picture

Haha. Hahahahaha.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:12 | 2255979 Renfield
Renfield's picture

Apparently the sheep aren't as stupid as the Fed thinks.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:19 | 2256004 weyes1
weyes1's picture

Every post proves that they are every bit as stupid as the Fed knows.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:40 | 2256074 knukles
knukles's picture

Which? 
The ones here or on Twitter?

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:52 | 2256119 weyes1
weyes1's picture

HEY HEY HEY!

I am not one to readily disparage fellow ZH'ers.

You guys are the only friends I got.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:56 | 2256124 knukles
knukles's picture

:)
Now that is funny...

 

P.S.  Have you thought of opening a Twitter account?

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 19:08 | 2256165 weyes1
weyes1's picture

Now THAT is funny!

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 19:13 | 2256189 BLOTTO
BLOTTO's picture

I dont have a twatter account either - but for a second, a second mind you - after seeing this ZH article i thought about it.

That thought has now vanished.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:12 | 2255980 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

Whoehahaha! That student loan joke :)
They are all so priceless :)

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:13 | 2255984 davinci7_gis
davinci7_gis's picture

iBackfire?

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:13 | 2255985 Jacks Nipple
Jacks Nipple's picture

IF I had a twitter account I would bash to, but aren't the FEDPIGS watching twitter.  Are they in a sense making a list of terrorists?

This is pretty funny though, I want to be able to check it every day, i may need to join.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:20 | 2256008 Hansel
Hansel's picture

Yeah, the Feds are watching Twitter.  Don't worry though; you're safe here on ZeroHedge.  The Feds have never heard of this site.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:22 | 2256015 Wakanda
Wakanda's picture

Whew!  I feel much safer now.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:27 | 2256033 weyes1
weyes1's picture

They're afraid of Tyler.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:46 | 2256095 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Is it true? Are the Tylers building an army, sirs?

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:50 | 2256108 weyes1
weyes1's picture

I know nuthinnnnng (where's Schultzie when you need him)

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:31 | 2256040 scatterbrains
scatterbrains's picture

yea it was just a coincidence that you received a random computer generated IRS audit.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:39 | 2256068 el Gallinazo
el Gallinazo's picture

They are watching everything, particularly the commenters here.  Our tax money proudly at work.  Welcome to the Stasi state.  Google and the NSA are joined at the hip.  Brush up your German and watch The Lives of Others to get a taste of what is coming to a town near you.  You think hiding behind an ID makes any difference?

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 19:11 | 2256184 TheVirginian-HGWT
TheVirginian-HGWT's picture

The feds have been listening, watching and tracking everything for a loooong time. The Patriot Act just made it 'legal.'

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:13 | 2255987 weyes1
weyes1's picture

Fools.

This is how they will round you up.

All of you.

 

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:17 | 2256000 cahadjis
cahadjis's picture

 Thanks to your cowardice it will be easier.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:22 | 2256012 weyes1
weyes1's picture

I appreciate your thought, but the issue is not cowardice - its enlightenment.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:28 | 2256035 Let them eat iPads
Let them eat iPads's picture

If speaking out against the Fed is grounds for rounding people up then we may as well drop all pretenses, unleash the 400 million guns in private hands right now and get busy.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:41 | 2256057 weyes1
weyes1's picture

There's no time like the present!

/sarc

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:13 | 2255988 leathaface
leathaface's picture

am i the only person left who doesnt have a twitter or FB account?

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:15 | 2255991 fuu
fuu's picture

Nope.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:57 | 2256128 Zero_Sum
Zero_Sum's picture

I don't have one, but I'm considering getting one just for tweeting the Fed. I've been watching the real-time heckle feed for about 30 minutes. It's just too good...

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 20:57 | 2256407 Yes_Questions
Yes_Questions's picture

 

 

Turn away.  Don't Look:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m83JcNoNQ-4

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:15 | 2255993 Renfield
Renfield's picture

I don't. I'll hang onto my privacy and leave the Fed heckling to the hip kids. They're doing a pretty good job without my help anyway.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:42 | 2256080 knukles
knukles's picture

Nope.  Nor any of that other useless self absorbed shit.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 19:07 | 2256162 Blue Horshoe Lo...
Blue Horshoe Loves Annacott Steel's picture

I've noticed all the people that are on Facebook constantly, posting every damn piece of minutiae, are the people I don't even like in real life.  Narcissistic, full of shit, impulsive losers.

It can't be a coincidence.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 18:43 | 2256086 el Gallinazo
el Gallinazo's picture

It took me two hours of web research to find out how to really (I hope) quite FaceBook.  Almost as bad as kicking coffin nails.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 19:04 | 2256144 lotsoffun
lotsoffun's picture

i liked the occasional updates i got from mature friends that posted something every week or two.  but once i saw on tv news 'post your whole life on facebook' - that was it.  and yes - it really did take sometime to shut it down.  but zuckerberg and goldman sachs aren't stupid, now are they.  greedy - maybe - but magnamious?  no.

 

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 19:04 | 2256148 Blue Horshoe Lo...
Blue Horshoe Loves Annacott Steel's picture

NO.

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 19:06 | 2256155 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Nope, neither one...tweetless...aaaaaand lovin it!

Maxwell Smart...

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 19:12 | 2256161 i-dog
i-dog's picture

What's a twitter? I don't even have a yootoob or goggle account (apart from a useless gmail account where they keep asking me for a phone number or other email account to link it to ... fat chance!).

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 20:40 | 2256376 putaipan
putaipan's picture

you mean the "do no darpa" google ?

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 21:26 | 2256458 nmewn
nmewn's picture

idog,

Give em Berkshires number...man, I may have to sign up for the fun & mayhem...ROTFL!!!

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 03:47 | 2256951 i-dog
i-dog's picture

You've just brightened up my internet life!! Don't know why I never thought of it (well, I know why, but am embarassed to admit it). Can't wait to start! (No more "name@email.com" for software registrations and redtube; "TheBenBernank@NonFederalNonReserve.com" is da shizzle).

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 06:19 | 2257044 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Just think of the sales leads that will be generated with the passing of your valuable faux personal info from one cubicle to the next....like marketing/advertising hedonics on steroids. You might even be nominated for a Nobel Prize in Economic Imagery...I hear it's the latest thing...lol.

I do the same thing when the gum snapping checkout girl at Lowes says "Phone number please" after I pay her with cash. I started out saying what the hell do you need my phone number for? Always got a blank stare or a "I dunno, the system is asking for it" as she peers at the unthinking machine telling her to ask me.

Then I suppose the muckity mucks all got together at some sales seminar somewhere and decided it was for the warranty. Warranty? I've got the piece of shit broken product you sold me not more than a month ago right here...with the date, time and method of payment on the store receipt you gave me acknowledging my payment to you, you anal rententive dingbats.

As for myself, I've long ago decided we are dealing with a thoroughly corrupt and deceptive system, so I'm under no obligation to deal with it in an honest & forthright manner...have fun with it...pick at the stitches ;-)

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