First Chevron, Now Shell's California Refinery Issues "Civil Emergency"

Tyler Durden's picture

UPDATE: Local Police have said that this is a false alarm and there is no emergency at the Shell Refinery.

In what can only be the strangest and most worrisome coincidence, the Shell refinery in Martinez has just issued an Immediate-Severe-Likely public "Shelter-in-Place" emergency alert:

RESIDENTS IN MARTINEZ. ARE ADVISED TO SHELTER IN PLACE. GO INSIDE. CLOSE ALL WINDOWS AND DOORS. TURN OFF ALL HEATERS. AIR CONDITIONERS AND FANS. IF NOT USING THE FIREPLACE. CLOSE FIREPLACE DAMPERS AND VENTS. AND COVER CRACKS AROUND DOORS AND WINDOWS WITH TAPE OR DAMPED TOWELS. MEDIA NEWS NETWORKS WILL CONTINUE TO CARRY UPDATED EMERGENCY INFORMATION. STAY OFF THE TELEPHONE UNLESS YOU HAVE A LIFE THREATENING EMERGENCY.

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valkir's picture

Very soon Beverly Hills properties will be 2 for 1 $.After everyone realises what is comming from Fukushima.

Deathrips's picture

Maybe we could get all those talking head windbags from all over the globe and they could suck it all up ....or blow it all away.

 

All joking aside..this sucks.

divide_by_zero's picture

Big Sis shoulda been watching them real terrorists a bit closer and not so focused on patting down granny. Chem and Refinery plants were known primary targets.

azzhatter's picture

Hell Jerry Brown probably invited them if they'd just pay a little taxes

BliptoP3's picture

The more they pat granny down the more refineries she blows up - when will they learn: "The more you tighten your grip - the more star systems will slip through your fingers."

Taint Boil's picture

 

 

I often thought that refineries would be an easy terrorist target. 50 Towel Heads with 50 calibers (what’s their range?) could probably do a lot of industrial damage. Next up: key transformers in the power grid?

LFMayor's picture

how about one wiith the welding supply company truck he just jacked, loaded with o2 and c2h2 weld cylinders?   That's less overhead and lots more bang for the buck.

mick_richfield's picture

50 cal M82 Barrett has an effective range over a mile.

Key transformers are EHV giants near large power stations, waiting time of 3 years for a new one, and no spares to speak of in the country.  They are huge things, and I doubt 50 cal would harm them much, but not sure.   They are the things we are woried about in case of large EMP event.

NidStyles's picture

Big Sis is in on the game, so why would she rat out her own crew?

Hype Alert's picture

Conditioning.  Stay indoors.  Do not attempt to move about.

In the past they would evacuate people.  Maybe there is no where to go?

Dr. Richard Head's picture

No shit.  Stay put....we are from the government and we are here to help.

Just like the military training excercises taking place on each corner of Amerika.  The traning is not for the military, but for the plebes. 

Step 1. Condition population that military activity on US streets normal.

Step 2. Condition population to stay put during any and all situations and wait for further directions from government.

Step 3. Start PR campaign "All Aboard To Auswitch" - We restrict your calories so you don't have too.  You will love it.  (credit to Gerald Celente."

Step 4. Collect gold teeth, shoes, and disenters.

Step 5. PROFIT!!!!

Winston of Oceania's picture

Why do you suppose that playgrounds at the local indoctination centers ALL have fences with gates around them now. Conditioning for the sheep so that they feel safe and secure.

Central Wanker's picture
co·in·ci·dence/k??ins?d?ns/ Noun:
  1. A remarkable concurrence of events or circumstances without apparent causal connection.
  2. Correspondence in nature or in time of occurrence.
francis_sawyer's picture

Well... Passports seem to hold up well against kerosene fire, pulverization, & nano thermite... So benzene ought to be a cinch!

SheepDog-One's picture

Nothing to see here...certainly not an attack...all is well move along people resume buying stocks.

wcvarones's picture

Q. What do you call a shutdown at the Shell refinery?

A. A dry Martinez.

francis_sawyer's picture

We're from FEMA & we're here to help...

Dr. Engali's picture

There are no coincidences. Why is gas and food cost rising? It's certainly not because of QE forever......it's that pesky drought and old refineries.

NidStyles's picture

I've always wondered how a giant steel structure that is not exposed to elements that would cause it's deteriation would wear out or become obsolete. It's also worrying that even that same structure was updated regularly to maitain safety standards. They must have been using steel from the WTC pours. 

SheepDog-One's picture

'Worrisome'? Nonsense....muppets resume your normal daily activity of buying stocks.

azzhatter's picture

Helluva job Brownie

q99x2's picture

Hide the guns, women and children.

Börjesson's picture

To have an emergency at one refinery may be regarded as a misfortune; to have an emergency at two smacks of carelessness.

 

(With apologies to Oscar Wilde.)

Mysteerious Rooshian Vooman's picture

 

 

Dear Aunt Augusta:

LOL! +10.

Mysteerious Rooshian Vooman

101 years and counting's picture

jacking up oil due to refinery problems is just another way to "turn risk on".  to hell with the people that may suffer.

francis_sawyer's picture

Maybe the Syrian situation isn't going as well as planned since the Russians showed up...

magpie's picture

I thought they already abandoned Syria, right until the Rebels deciced to blow up a general of theirs yesterday.

francis_sawyer's picture

Central Planning is hard when the central planners want paid vacations in their bennies packages...

zilverreiger's picture

SCADA viruses backfiring? ;p

Ignorance is bliss's picture

The Iranians did it. Let's bomb them back to Babylon !!!

Sean7k's picture

Refineries are having a baddddddd month. Wisconsin, Chicago, Oklahoma, and now two in the bay area. Major media reports? Stay tuned, looks like it's going to get interesting- especially since Congress is on vacation and the EU is on vacation.

NidStyles's picture

I notice that all hell breaks lose when Congress is not in session. I wonder why that is...

The Wizard of Oz's picture

Inadvertent alert. All is okay. Please continue to buy WTI. 

You Didn't Build That's picture

What will the leukemia cancer rate be in California in ten years? Oncology may be the next growth industry.

francis_sawyer's picture

Then they'll have to take out the marijuana plantations & the apricot orchards too...

dow2000's picture

Iran claims resposibility for these two attacks in response to the Stuxnet virus deployed by the currecnt US administration against Iran...

Check to you...

WTF_247's picture

No way that is coincidence.  Sounds like sabotage to me but what do I know.

California has not allowed anyone to build a new refinery in over 30 years - they have made it so cost prohibitive to the point no one will do it.  Just the environmental studies to do so would likely take a decade, then end up in endless litigation in court from every environmental group out there (which all use gasoline and drive cars to the courthouse ...)

Even if every refinery shut down and gas went to $12.00 per gallon I doubt the retards that run this state would even care.

DeFeralCat's picture

Knight algos doing community out-reach.

francis_sawyer's picture

So that makes two 'false alarm' fires on 8/8 just before the hour of 8 (the other one was the 88th floor of WTC1)...

Where's #3 going to come from?

strongband's picture

There was a misprint - it was meant to end with

 

STAY OFF THE TELEPHONE UNTIL YOU HAVE A LIFE THREATENING EMERGENCY.

moonman's picture

If they keep blowing up these True Blood factories what will the vampires feast on?

 

 

 

 

 

Oh yeah us