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The Five D's Of Dystopian Markets

Tyler Durden's picture




 

One of the most frequently-used phrases we hear is 'The Markets Are Broken' and while there are many anecdotal events almost every day in and across asset classes, there is more to it than sudden 'flash-crashes' or Italian bond levitation. The world is increasingly dystopian and Citigroup's credit group recently noted, as part of a pitch for structured credit products, the most critical aspects of our broken environment. While not quite as memorable as the five D's of Dodgeball; the five D's of Dystopian markets are decidely less comical.

 

Via Citigroup's Structured Credit Outlook - Apocalypse Yesterday:

 

1. Debt Yields...with such low yields, even in the face of rising deficits for fiat sovereigns, and questionable risk-free rates elsewhere, Traditional Return Assumptions Are Broken.

 

2. Doubtful Liquidity...trading across vast bid-offer spreads, even when transparency is high, does not always mean positions are executable, meaning explicitly the trading Markets Are Broken.

 

 

3. Distributional Challenges...while headline forecasts for GDP growth or S&P 500 performance in 2012 may seem accurate and comprehendable, the underlying distributions of the uncertainty surrounding these predictions are huge meaning Forecast Models Are Broken.

 

4. Difficulties In Funding...ask any European bank where their next USD is coming from and they'll squirm. Term funding costs are prohibitive, market demand for financial issuance is minimal, and collateral is sorely lacking leaving Funding Models Broken.

 

5. Deleveraging, as Deregulation is unwound...the shift from Basel II to Basel II, Dodd-Frank, Volcker, Tobin Taxes? All will slow credit creation, force (potentially correctly) deleveraging, and reduce financial firm flexibility leaving the Banking Model Broken.

 

And just for good measure, a few more D's to worry about: Divergence (between EM and DM growth), Decoupling (between US, Europe, and Asia), Deleveraging (of more than just European banks but the entire developed world of debt-saturated balance sheets), Downward revisions (earnings are rolling over), and Dividend strategies (which remain the most crowded of crowded trades). We are sure there are many more and of course the solution to all of these according to every talking head - A Dazooka (sorry).

 

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Tue, 12/06/2011 - 20:05 | 1953112 unclebill
unclebill's picture

First!

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 20:11 | 1953131 Spigot
Spigot's picture

Congrats, UncleBill, the first with the least, too

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 22:50 | 1953514 prains
prains's picture

Uncle Bill another D you might want to consider.......Down Syndrome

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 23:46 | 1953641 unclebill
unclebill's picture

With sooo many D's I will consider D own syndrome #6

Wed, 12/07/2011 - 02:56 | 1954023 Dugald
Dugald's picture

Dystopia? why not Cacotopia? better still why not just keep it simple and say "Ill" Sick or even Cactus fucktus.....

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 23:45 | 1953636 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Elect a muslim to ru(i)n the country.  What could go wrong?

Wed, 12/07/2011 - 00:04 | 1953700 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Every day of his life, the same thought goes through your father's head: "Why didn't I just pull out?"

 

Wed, 12/07/2011 - 01:33 | 1953928 Rick Masters
Rick Masters's picture

Classic response!!!! + 10000000000

Wed, 12/07/2011 - 08:40 | 1954246 the tower
the tower's picture

Freddie, you're a frustrated Jew or a frustrated Christian, but seriously, all you're displaying is your frustration with your own shortcomings, can't you see that?

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 20:05 | 1953114 Racer
Racer's picture

So  tulipmania/south sea is now re-incarnated in the the Dow and the Snpees

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 21:07 | 1953286 DavidPierre
DavidPierre's picture

 

Thank you to all of the "PAYASOS".

 Some may prefer to to use "payaso" as a verb for the instances when someone "acts" like a clown.  The "payasos" that CNBC, Bloomberg and all the rest keep parading out in front spewing their absolute and complete bullshit.

Years ago at least some of the bullshit they were spewing was quasi plausible, today it is not so. Even if you're watching them in a dentist's office fully drugged and a laughing gas mask on, nothing is plausible anymore!

These people are clearly one of two things, complete idiots or pathological liars with the intent of injuring anyone they can. There can be no in between any longer because of the "obviousness"  of how wrong, how broken and insolvent, how fraudulent and how sinister the financial system has become... "the guy on the street is finally getting it... the "Occupy Everywhere" movement is witness to this.

How any "analyst" could be so stupid now to not see what is coming. How any analyst COULD see what is coming yet "misinform"... lie... and injure some innocent participants in the markets is also beyond belief.

How about "stockbrokers"?

Now here is a group to behold. There has always been a "conflict of interest" here, to do what is right for the client or do what the firm tells you to do to generate commissions even if you know it is wrong. The entire financial system has become one where everyone is looking for "today's piece of flesh".

Doing what is right has gone the way of Leave it to Beaver.

The MF Global situation where clients have been raped in public view is proof that the system is done, that in a system where big brother can tell you where you have spent your entire paycheck, they cannot "find" $1-3 Billion of STOLEN funds.

By the way, did we ever find out who bought the airline puts back in 2001?

It is all crooked, evil and intentionally fraudulent which is why anything that is "honest" (as in real and honest money,... Gold) ... is mocked.

The entire conversation this morning by CNBC's Joe Kernen was "mocking" and playing the devil's advocate saying that everyone knows that all governments will have to print print as everyone races their currencies to the bottom so everyone should now buy Gold. He then chuckled and said that he was only saying this "common sense"  to get some angry e-mails.

In other words the Gold Bugs were mocked again which was followed by another guest pointing to today's down action as proof that Gold is no safe haven. He said that you can't eat it, smoke it, put in your gas tank and even went so far as to say that Gold is a very dangerous asset to have in your portfolio and serves no purpose whatsoever. So what started out as a "bad morning" was topped off with more media stupidity.

So S+P is in the process of telling us what we already know, sovereign governments are not safe and secure as we thought...."bankrupt beyond repair"... and Gold dropped yesterday and again today in anticipation of the S+P statement and in response.

Stupid!

The worse things really are behind the scenes the harder Gold is hit and suppressed, it has been like this for 15 years now since 1996. How is it possible that Gold, a safe haven for 5,000+ years weakens in fiat price when government paper... THE "desired" safe haven for the sheeple by their puppetmasters... is hitting a wall?

How is Gold not now and already $5,000-$10,000 per ounce?

We all know the how and why! Anyone who doesn't get it is going to REALLY "get it" as the Ponzi scheme unwinds. The "payaso media" is happy with what they've done, millions of very good people will have listened to them and have their lives ruined. Not so funny.

CNBC’s Joe Kernen is a real turkey when it comes to gold and he has been for 13 years, missing the entire move up and mocking gold bulls all that time.He was a stock broker in 1982 and pedaled gold, only to get hurt by his pitch with clients. He never got over it and now can’t see the forest for the trees.

The Gold Cartel has done it again ... another fleecing of investors while they line their pockets. They bombed the shares on Friday ... buried gold and silver the following two trading sessions ... and then covered their share shorts while gold and silver are struggling and trying to recover.

There was no other reason for gold and silver dropping to where they were this morning other than the Gold Cartel rip off artists flexing their financial power and stealing money.

 Hail Jon Corzine!

www.lemetropolecafe.com

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 23:14 | 1953572 jeff montanye
jeff montanye's picture

true enough.  what rankles more than even the rip-off in broad daylight at mf global is the government (non)response to the commission of such an egregious and unprecedented crime.  almost like it was consistent with the policy of the obama administration.  

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 23:52 | 1953657 caerus
caerus's picture

jim rogers was on cnbs this afternoon discussing the state of the markets and the mf global disaster...highlights imo include his observation that segregated accounts are sacrosanct and that corzine should face jail time

jim rogers

Wed, 12/07/2011 - 00:25 | 1953756 obejoyful
obejoyful's picture

Very Good, My thoughts exactly, I cannot watch CNBC or Bloomberg.  Every bailout they say is a wonderful thing and imply that people are stupid and do not understand that the Fed has to bail out the EU so you can get your paycheck.  That is exactly what one women said on CNN.    

Wed, 12/07/2011 - 07:49 | 1954167 rocker
rocker's picture

 As for CNN, they have women.

 As for Joe Kernen, He can't eat gold, but he surely eats GE's shit. (Now Comcast).  Yes Master, I will Master. I do Master.

 

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 20:05 | 1953116 lineskis
lineskis's picture

Because when you hit non-linearity, your linear models just go nuts!

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 20:30 | 1953196 Spigot
Spigot's picture

Its all non-linear, its a complex system for which no one really has a model. That is what scared the living shit out of me when I first heard about derivatives (back when the nominal totals were about 50 trillion). They are supposedly structured to avoid effects from high sigma events. Yet, how would you know since you can not predict the feedback effects from a derivatives market that did not exist in the prior data you assume is your baseline, and that claims to insure/derisk bets on $1750 trillions of dollars notional. Haha! Funny. Pass me another valium please.

Wed, 12/07/2011 - 00:12 | 1953726 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Sorry, this is the wrong article for valium. Here, try this doobie instead.

 

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 20:07 | 1953123 chump666
chump666's picture

Citigroup are putting out some great analysis of late.  When I think of the lunacy coming from SoGen and BofA...

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 20:12 | 1953130 JPM Hater001
JPM Hater001's picture

Just so no one else has to ask what Dystopia means either: is the idea of a society in a repressive and controlled state, often under the guise of being utopian, as characterized in books like Brave New World and Nineteen Eighty-Four. Dystopian societies feature different kinds of repressive social control systems, various forms of active and passive coercion. Ideas and works about dystopian societies often explore the concept of humans abusing technology and humans individually and collectively coping, or not being able to properly cope with technology that has progressed far more rapidly than humanity's spiritual evolution. Dystopian societies are often imagined as police states, with unlimited power over the citizens.

 

Yep, that's us.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 20:18 | 1953154 JustObserving
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The US can never be a dystopia.  Our prison population is only up 500% since 1980. Besides, prisons create good jobs that Chinese cannot destroy.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 22:32 | 1953472 Caviar Emptor
Caviar Emptor's picture

Prison refuse and cesspool maintenance: good solid jobs for the future

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 23:04 | 1953544 hidingfromhelis
hidingfromhelis's picture

I'm sure some Dubai based corporation will be awarded the contract in a no bid selection process and use illegal immigrants to actually do the shovel-ready stuff.  It's a beautiful thing.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 20:12 | 1953135 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 +1 Chump. Those Citi Techs like the { Low Liquidity} , trades. I'll bet they are long ( gbp/aud), as we speak.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 20:22 | 1953171 chump666
chump666's picture

yeah they are trading smart.  i think they are looking at the stagflation trade, for one they don't seem keen to go all in on the ECB/FED pumps. i would agree a low liquidity trade seems the play broken market trade = sell EZ/China, hedge long on oil/gold

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 23:17 | 1953552 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 NICE! How about the ( Foreward), on U.S. drones?   I'm long  uranium/dinar .  sarc :)

 

  Stay away from China 666. update.  Play some India. Thay are quiet and moving forward. If you can tollerate Russia, after the elections?  I'll play that one.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 20:12 | 1953136 death_to_fed_tyranny
death_to_fed_tyranny's picture

Let the motherfucker BURN! Got enough "stuff" to SURVIVE!

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 20:27 | 1953187 fbrothers
fbrothers's picture

"The eve of destruction" by Barry McGuire

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 21:06 | 1953292 cossack55
cossack55's picture

"Ball of Confusion" by The Temptations

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 23:30 | 1953596 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

"Wheels of Confusion" by Black Sabbath 

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 23:48 | 1953644 Freddie
Freddie's picture

"Who Put That F**king Muslim In Charge" by Jerry Lewis & The Playboys

 

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 23:58 | 1953675 cbxer55
cbxer55's picture

The guy with the one-track mind, by Claude Balls.

You ever talk about anything else but the head Muslim?

Geez, get a life.

Wed, 12/07/2011 - 00:10 | 1953721 Freddie
Freddie's picture

For you and your Dem Jon Corzine & Dem muslim pals.

Cretin Hop - The Ramones

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ymeuOz0hZU

Stupid lib Dem f*cks.

Wed, 12/07/2011 - 00:13 | 1953728 TheFourthStooge-ing
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Awwww, I think little freddie has a crush on Obama. How cute.

 

Wed, 12/07/2011 - 00:02 | 1953692 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

"Freddie's Dead"  by Curtis Mayfield

Wed, 12/07/2011 - 00:18 | 1953739 UP Forester
UP Forester's picture

"Land of Confusion" by that short, round, bald Brit.  Video needs updated puppets, though.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zU9lv_WqK6k

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 20:28 | 1953192 nmewn
nmewn's picture

A dearth of trust in something that relies on it, is death to it.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 20:32 | 1953201 Piranhanoia
Piranhanoia's picture

D pressed.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 21:19 | 1953315 Schmuck Raker
Schmuck Raker's picture

Indeed.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 23:11 | 1953560 hidingfromhelis
hidingfromhelis's picture

Market Debauchery

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 20:34 | 1953207 Meremortal
Meremortal's picture

The first two charts make no sense. Things do improve after that. 

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 21:17 | 1953308 fourchan
fourchan's picture

everything is bullish.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 21:22 | 1953321 bania
bania's picture

...and dodge.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 21:24 | 1953327 bluehorsesandal
bluehorsesandal's picture

Dazooka

that`s really funny

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 22:33 | 1953474 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 Heck? We could have a dystopian { inverted shoulder } , Forming?  Look @ the chart.>

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 22:35 | 1953479 Caviar Emptor
Caviar Emptor's picture

Markets getting downright goth!

Death rock the only appropriate music to play when screening these charts

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 22:47 | 1953507 Caviar Emptor
Caviar Emptor's picture

The emerging picture guarantees that "the solution" to this and all the other global economic "crises" will be far less economic, and far more a political solution. As it invariably is when things reach critical. 

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 22:58 | 1953531 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Generations that live through depressions and World Wars - have reasons for acting morally without regulations or fear of prosecution.

Generations that grow up in times of excess, of ease, of levered prosperity - think acting imorally is the path to success and happiness.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 23:18 | 1953577 Caviar Emptor
Caviar Emptor's picture

I thought greed was good? 

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 23:10 | 1953550 Caviar Emptor
Caviar Emptor's picture

 

WSJ: Spain Weighing a Fast, Costly Cleanup of Banks

 

Prime Minister-elect Mariano Rajoy has said he wants to speed up the process of dealing with €176 billion ($236 billion) of impaired real-estate assets from Spain's housing bust, although he played down the potential cost of his plans ahead of last month's elections.

Now you know why the Senate banking committee members are meeting with Lagarde tomorrow: everyone's gonna get a "one-time" shot at a mega bailout pie, the bailout to end all bailouts "so we can get on with our lives".

But you can never go home again once the system is broken beyond a crtical point, suffering structural problems from having been so insulated from the laws of supply/demand for so long that regular cash infusions are needed for survival.  More debt will have to be piled up just to maintain near zero growth in economies that will simultaneously fight cost inflation and wage/net worth deflation. 

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 23:12 | 1953561 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 Those  charts are a hoot! Tyler knows the one that scares me.?<    The tiny little last one in the ( Right) corner.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 23:40 | 1953614 jmc8888
jmc8888's picture

The funny thing is that the models were always broken, the dumbasses just didn't know it.  They still don't know it...it's just...they're broken now...as if they will return to predicting the future correctly like they did(n't) last time.

It's easy to fit a model around the stability of a rigged market.  All sorts of things taken for granted as fact, solid, stable.  It was really just fitting the idea around the data, stably rigged, rather than the data pointing the way and noticing the rig job.  Even then....

The variables of real life have never been accurately modeled.   Guesses are guesses, and it gets tougher when the rig job fails.

Glass-Steagall 

 

Wed, 12/07/2011 - 00:21 | 1953742 HardlyZero
HardlyZero's picture

Add two more D's:  Dumb, Delinquent

Now we have the Dirty Seven D's.

Dumb, dumber, and dumberer.

Wed, 12/07/2011 - 07:15 | 1954142 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Hmm, but who's the "dumbenest?"

Wed, 12/07/2011 - 07:19 | 1954145 s2man
s2man's picture

Da, da, da, damn.

Wed, 12/07/2011 - 14:36 | 1955559 SillySalesmanQu...
SillySalesmanQuestion's picture

Dysfunctional, Dopey, D.T's.

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