FOMC's Bag Of Tricks Is Empty... For Now - Full Statement Redline

Tyler Durden's picture


The FOMC statement once again had a little for everyone but critically lacked the all-important- "we'll print now and to infinity". Key headlines from the statement, via Bloomberg:


Pre-Fed price levels:

ES 1382, IG 98.6bps, HY $95.58, 10Y 1.97%, Gold 1639, EUR 1.3200, AAPL 609.5

Immediate Reaction

10Y +3bps, Gold -$10, ES -1pt, EUR -15pips, AAPL -$0.5


Full Statement Redline...


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Wed, 04/25/2012 - 12:34 | 2373786 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

More shit

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 12:36 | 2373797 maxmad
maxmad's picture

taaaaa daaaaa!  The wizards got nothing!  Don't pay attention to the guy behind the curtain!

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 12:39 | 2373813 maxmad
maxmad's picture

HMMMM.... Fed and Bernanke in a box... Can't announce QE3 because China immediately dumps the dollar on the news, or don't announce QE3 and then China begins their slow dump of the dollar

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 12:43 | 2373830 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Yep, painted themselves into quite a deep corner here.

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 12:51 | 2373870 flacon
flacon's picture

Intellectuals (pH Dees) at it again.... when will they ever learn "Do not fuck with us" ~ Tyler Druden

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 13:48 | 2374158 Surly Bear
Surly Bear's picture
Wed, 04/25/2012 - 13:02 | 2373941 CrashisOptimistic
CrashisOptimistic's picture

They have indeed, but it's even more than most realize.

This was their last chance to maneuver this year.  From here on out it's too close to the election.  The Fed never dares big moves close to election day for fear of loss of independence and Congress cracking down on them.

This was it.  Nothing more can happen this year.

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 13:18 | 2374004 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Exactly, now its too late, far too risky to do anything for the rest of the year because if something were to go real wrong theres no time to try to fix it. $4 gas and hovering markets thru summer and fall election...lots of pissed off broke folks.

I was saying if they wanted to do anything they should have staged a market 'crisis' about 6 months ago, but nooooo they couldnt even do that. Every little market drop had to be immediately recovered by next morning. So now, we glide from NYC to L.A. with a engine left, and 1 wing, fuel tank pretty much dry....Good luck Ben, we're all countin on you.

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 12:45 | 2373839 SHEEPFUKKER

Same shit different day.  

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 12:48 | 2373853 xtop23
xtop23's picture

I love that. FED sees exceptionally low rates through "at least" 2014.

Translation; forever.


Wed, 04/25/2012 - 12:47 | 2373856 Thomas
Thomas's picture

Lste 2014? How about never? Does never work for you Fed bozos? Excuse me while I go fondle my gold. You Fed wankers can fondle something else.

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 12:59 | 2373917 Troll Magnet
Troll Magnet's picture

i'd like to fondle that chick in your avatar.

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 14:07 | 2374279 VisualCSharp
Wed, 04/25/2012 - 12:51 | 2373877 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

Seems pretty clear they'll dangle the qe3 carrot as long as possible.

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 13:00 | 2373929 Christoph830
Christoph830's picture

Exactly.  Dangling QE 3 is essentially QE 3.  Why print when your words can have the same effect?

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 12:34 | 2373787 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Prepare for them to press "Eject" on silver.  

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 13:00 | 2373873 poor fella
poor fella's picture

I'll be waiting for it with open arms and baited breath...

You do realize it will happen at a time when equities absolutely collapse? We're running out of small and manageable defaults.

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 13:02 | 2373942 scatterbrains
scatterbrains's picture

The trick will be catching some with the credit cards into the collapse but before the system freezes and no one's able to use them until further notice.

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 13:16 | 2373996 Chump
Chump's picture

That's my plan.  Probably futile but it's worth a shot.

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 12:34 | 2373788 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture


Wed, 04/25/2012 - 12:36 | 2373795 YesWeKahn
YesWeKahn's picture

Welcome to the united states of apples

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 12:41 | 2373824 Everybodys All ...
Everybodys All American's picture

AAPL is the only thing saving this market right now and Bernanke.

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 12:36 | 2373796 pods
pods's picture

Sweet.  Another 2+ years of a 2.5% mortgage.  

Of course, the inflation in all other aspects of life will more than make up for it.


Wed, 04/25/2012 - 12:36 | 2373798 ACP
ACP's picture

They just need a drop before doing some more hard core pump action.

Usual MO.

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 12:36 | 2373800 Sans-culottes
Sans-culottes's picture

Root for Ben as if he is a college fratboy....instead of Chug Chug......PRINT PRINT PRINT....YOU CAN DO IT!

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 12:37 | 2373803 UTICA CLUB XX PURE

Growth to staay moderate. Say what? Growth to stay moderate? LOL

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 12:38 | 2373808 YesWeKahn
YesWeKahn's picture

Their job is pretty easy: let the porn addicted secretary to type some text, then change it slightly on each meeting, job done and collect tax payer's money as salary

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 12:42 | 2373826 SoNH80
SoNH80's picture

Porn?  Nuh-uh, they just gossipin' about the new Deacon at the church on the phone, um-huh.  It's D.C., baby....

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 12:39 | 2373810 ForWhomTheTollBuilds
ForWhomTheTollBuilds's picture

And down goes gold.  Again...


Guess some honest market participant had to unload 5 million ounces at any price in one second....

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 12:42 | 2373829 It is a bargin ...
It is a bargin my friend's picture

I am getting so pissed, they keep on kicking the crutch away from a one legged man, and its US banks that do, fucking wankers, may they rot in eternal pain every last one of them

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 12:56 | 2373900 e_goldstein
e_goldstein's picture

Of course. Hedging or some such for their "clients" (victims).

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 12:39 | 2373811 Peter K
Peter K's picture

It was rather Hawkish, I'd say. Wonder how the sellsiders will spin this one?

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 12:41 | 2373822 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Wonder how much laughter went into this statement.

Bernanke: "I think I will hold the fake QE hints for the presser.  Does everybody agree with that?"


Wed, 04/25/2012 - 12:46 | 2373849 Peter K
Peter K's picture

Here's the key sentence:

"The Committee expects economic growth to remain moderate over coming quarters and consequently then to pick up gradually."

I wonder how long it will take for this sentence to sink in? :)

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 15:05 | 2374553 Trajan
Trajan's picture

Hahahaha, 'THEN to pick up gradually' when is THEN?? 2016?  hurry up, I mature in 10 years you ghouls....and gradually as in Spanish Bonds blowing by 6% 'Gradually'.... like that?

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 12:41 | 2373812 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Mr. Market has his feet in cold water now

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 12:40 | 2373815 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

Low rates are all they need to support the banking system and keep the banks buying Treasuries.  There is really only a need to continue the printing program via low rates.  I am not really sure why people pretend this is not full blown printing press action behind a lace curtain.  It is being done in the worst possible way that will do nothing for the economy.  Pure inflation. 

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 12:57 | 2373907 poor fella
poor fella's picture

Is there a word for 'Bank Supported Government'?

Seems to be the only business they're in. BTW, Lloyd "The Smelly Oily Alcohol Turd" Blankfein says GS doesn't need the discount window.

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 13:05 | 2373950 Lord Blankcheck
Lord Blankcheck's picture

"We were taking very little risk at the time" Lioyd B.


Yes that word is "Banktatorship"



Wed, 04/25/2012 - 13:08 | 2373963 poor fella
poor fella's picture

Niiice, I like it!

The government and financial system are Saimese twins sharing a heart and brain. One of them isn't going to make it if we try for separation!!

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 12:59 | 2373920 trembo slice
trembo slice's picture

Exactly.  Do people (Krugman obviously doesn't based on his recent column) not understand that the way in which interest rates are held low is by a continual injection of "capital" i.e., freshly created dollars?  Keeping interest rates at near zero % is the means of inflation.

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 12:41 | 2373819 VonManstein
VonManstein's picture

PMs hardly moved.. the act is wearing thin


Wed, 04/25/2012 - 12:43 | 2373821 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

'Moderate gradual improvement, with a great chance of severe downside risk'....gee, thats great...hey let's all pile into Apple!

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 12:42 | 2373827 SDRII
SDRII's picture

No latency on gold raid. Must...get....oil....down....

 FT Alpha good mock up on the IEA apparatchiks assessments of stockpiling

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 12:44 | 2373828 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



Still looking for this...


Wed, 04/25/2012 - 12:45 | 2373844 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

They have no other option, even raising rates to 1.5 would blow the whole thing to smithereens. They built the sand castle upon 0%, and have to keep it at 0%.

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 12:49 | 2373862 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture



Exactly.  Since they can't raise them now, how they gonna do it with another $3T of debt on the books? 

(Of course, the joke's on them in the end, as rates will rise even without their intervention.  Tee hee.)

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 12:43 | 2373835 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

"Moderate gradual improvement, with a great chance of severe downside risk--except for Apple, which the committee agreed, is the only thing that will see no downside risk."

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 12:44 | 2373837 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

Shorter Fed: We're busy bailing out Europe so leave us alone. In the meantime have some more ZIRP.

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 12:46 | 2373851 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

We're trying to fill a bottomless pit over in Yurp, but its funny the more fake money we pour in the deeper the hole gets. HUH, imagine that!

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