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Football Legend Cristiano Ronaldo To Be Used As ECB Collateral

Tyler Durden's picture




 

We were pretty much speechless when we read this - it sure puts guarantees by Noyer, Trichet and all the other bureaumonkeys that the ECB does not accept just any collateral in perspective. From Presseurop.eu: "The most expensive footballer in history may now be used to guarantee the solvency of a Spanish bank. “Ronaldo in the bailout fund,” headlines Süddeutsche Zeitung. The daily reports that the Bankia group of savings banks, which financed Real Madrid’s acquisition of the Portuguese player, is now seeking to borrow funds from the European Central Bank. In response to the ECB’s demand for guarantees, Bankio are putting up… Ronaldo and the Brazilian Kaka, who also plays for the Madrid football club. In 2009, Real borrowed 76.5 million euros to pay transfer fees of 100 millions euros to Manchester United, and 60 million to Milan AC."

“Could we see a situation in which the ECB seizes one of the players?“ wonders the Munich daily. “In theory, it is possible. Bankia would first have to become insolvent. Thereafter, Real would have to default on its loans, which are secured by advertising and television revenues. It goes without saying that Real Madrid is in debt to the tune of several million euros. However, in Spain football clubs have a history of obtaining publicly funded bailouts — just like the country’s banks.”

This is beyond even The Onion's (and even Zero Hedge's) level of sarcasm. 

There is nothing that can be added to this insanity. Furthermore, the fact that the "collateral" most likely has a virulent case of Paris Hiltonitis which will infect all the other worthless collateral, likely leading to the latest and greatest reality TV show, only adds to the complete farce that the global ponzi scheme has now become.

h/t Stock Bitch

 

 

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Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:08 | 1501329 Ahmeexnal
Thu, 07/28/2011 - 13:27 | 1501581 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

Egotistical athletes and egotistical bankers, at least there is no question as to who is the bigger fish anymore.

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 14:06 | 1501702 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

Meh. So what? Thanks to the 14th Amendment, the 16th Amendment, and the Social Security Act, any 14th Amendment US Citizen with an SS number has already been registered as collateral for the Federal debt. Yawn.

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 15:07 | 1501888 eureka
eureka's picture

I saw Ronaldo live - cremate L.A. Galaxy two weeks ago - believe me, he's worth it - he's from a paralel dimension of super human Football Played With The Foot Players.

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 15:34 | 1501959 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

a Sliced & Diced Ronaldo ..there's nothing these banksters can't turn into debt money ...the Twilight Zone of banksters, life and indeed sport is now a digitalised moneygram for transfer to Big Bro central command at the ECB 

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:07 | 1501330 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

No fuckin way. This HAS to be a joke. Really...please...Tell me this is a joke.

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:28 | 1501407 bob_dabolina
bob_dabolina's picture

It's a joke. 

Holy shit

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:44 | 1501448 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Debt slavedom, bitchez.

A little bit OT, but hide your precious, bitchez, 'cause Ireland is setting the example of FDR Gold Confiscation Part Deux:

 

Jewels, Gold Bars Seized as Ireland Chases Debtors - Bloomberg

 

And plain, old OT (even Israelis in Tel Aviv are bitching about The Bernank's monetary policies, bitchez):



 

  • Inflation Sparks Big Protests in Tel Aviv
  • Thu, 07/28/2011 - 13:35 | 1501607 Cathartes Aura
    Cathartes Aura's picture

    interesting link TruthInSunshine:

    But defense spending is only part of the story. In fact, Israel’s defense budget has come down dramatically since the 1970s, to around 6.3 percent of GDP in 2010 (the equivalent figure in the U.S. is 4.7 percent, and in France and Britain under 3 percent). In the meantime, Israeli spending on settlements in the West Bank and on welfare payments to the ultra-Orthodox community—where huge numbers of working-age males are allowed to study in yeshivas and collect government handouts—have ballooned.

     

    social engineering.

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 13:41 | 1501627 KeyserSoze
    KeyserSoze's picture

    Israel doesn't need to spend heavily on defence when most of the war costs are taken up by the USA.

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 13:48 | 1501649 Cathartes Aura
    Cathartes Aura's picture

    when these "schools" that teach "working age males" are located in, say, Pakistan, they are referred to as a breeding ground for "terrorists" & subject to drone strikes.

    who controls language, controls thought.

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 14:52 | 1501839 KeyserSoze
    KeyserSoze's picture

    who controls language, controls thought.

     

    Reminds me of the word 'terrorist'. What the fuck does that even mean anymore??? It's the singularly most selectively applied word in modern day society.

     

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 18:10 | 1502505 bread n circuses
    bread n circuses's picture

    Agreed. 

    Glen Greenwald has a good post on this.

    http://www.salon.com/news/opinion/glenn_greenwald/2011/07/23/nyt/index.html

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 22:23 | 1503074 el Gallinazo
    el Gallinazo's picture

    It's easy, a terraist is the opposite of a freedom fighter.

     

    Osama Bin Ladin, 1983 - Freedom Fighter shooter of Russians

    Osama Bin Ladin, 2001 - Terraist patsy

     

    Both are usually CIA assets.  (See al Qaeda Libya rebels.)  It's sort of like the World Wrestling Federation.

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:29 | 1501408 bob_dabolina
    bob_dabolina's picture

    /dup

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:35 | 1501433 slaughterer
    slaughterer's picture

    Well, if Ronaldo needs to be seized as an asset, what are they going to do with him?  Sell him to Bayern München?

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 13:23 | 1501577 AnAnonymous
    AnAnonymous's picture

    US citizens taste for victimology forces them to depict the situation as odious to Ronaldo.

    People calling that slavery or stuff... Typical US citizenism.

    The entity who is to be complained is the entity that is forced to accept that shit as collateral. Nobody else.

    Ronaldo is preserved: the entity will buy the contractual obligations to this football player and as he earns stuff like 10 millions or more euros per year. No big deal.

     

    I cant even know how this stuff is going to happen. Football clubs have failed in the past and the sequence is known: liquidation of assets (so the transfer fee is very unlikely to match 80 millions euros) and when everything is liquidated, players'contracts are nullified and players are let free.

    The story that an insolvent football club in an insolvent country that forks 80 millions euros to recruit a football player is the evidence of what people who are unfortunate to trade with the West have to expect when it comes to real wealth.

    Nothing, not even peanuts.

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:07 | 1501331 rokakoma
    rokakoma's picture

    I think this marks the tipping point of the Spanish bank crisis. Mark this day!

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:41 | 1501449 johnconnor
    johnconnor's picture

    I think they should use his girlfriend Yrina as collateral as well,

    I am sure these Goldman sach leaches that love Ukranian and Russian high end prostitutes would love it.

     

    <img src="http://www.funnyandcool.com/wp-content/gallery/irina-shayk-appears-on-th...">

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:42 | 1501453 Ahmeexnal
    Ahmeexnal's picture

    Tipping point was long ago.

    Most cities and infrastructure have already been sold to creditors (oil rich Arab nations and Chi-pan).

    Not only in spain, but all over the eurozone and the british isles too.

    Many areas of Londinistan and other UK cities are now under sharia law as we speak:

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2019547/Anjem-Choudary-Islamic-e...

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:43 | 1501459 johnconnor
    johnconnor's picture

    I think they should use his girlfriend Yrina as collateral as well,

    I am sure these Goldman sach leaches that love Ukranian and Russian high end prostitutes would love it.

     

    <img src="http://www.funnyandcool.com/wp-content/gallery/irina-shayk-appears-on-th...">

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:43 | 1501460 johnconnor
    johnconnor's picture

    I think they should use his girlfriend Yrina as collateral as well,

    I am sure these Goldman sach leaches that love Ukranian and Russian high end prostitutes would love it.

     

    <img src="http://www.funnyandcool.com/wp-content/gallery/irina-shayk-appears-on-th...">

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:44 | 1501463 johnconnor
    johnconnor's picture

    I think they should use his girlfriend Yrina as collateral as well,

    I am sure these Goldman sach leaches that love Ukranian and Russian high end prostitutes would love it.

     

    <img src="http://www.funnyandcool.com/wp-content/gallery/irina-shayk-appears-on-th...">

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:08 | 1501335 slow_roast
    slow_roast's picture

    I bet Roanldo loves this.

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:18 | 1501363 baby_BLYTHE
    baby_BLYTHE's picture

    He is HOT, lol.

    But in all seriousness, the United States(c) have and will in the future pledge its citizens as colateral.

    It happened in the 1930s (when the US offically went bankrupt) and will be again via a raid on the 401ks.

    You can bet Obama's team of lawyers have been working around the clock on this

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:24 | 1501389 Stax Edwards
    Stax Edwards's picture

    Cue Vic Vinegar with strong compliment of the above post

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:51 | 1501491 Founders Keeper
    Founders Keeper's picture

    LOL

     

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 14:38 | 1501792 Troublehoff
    Troublehoff's picture

    Aye,

    Where are you, Vic?

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:35 | 1501432 fishface
    fishface's picture

    COOOL

    Lets make a list of some assest there are

     

    1. this must be Bernank ( he can print money after all)

    2. Timmah

    3. Boner

    4. Reid

    5. - 200. one lot of DEMS

    200.-400 one lot of REPS

     

    any left..

    Obummer

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:36 | 1501435 narnia
    narnia's picture

    that's all the national debt is...  a pledge by the US federal government that, in the future, its productive citizens will acquiesce to sacrificing their quality of life to subsidize government warfare, welfare & counter-productive attempted do-gooding.  

    these promises are worthless not because your average American is not good on his or her word, but because the non dumbed down "real" American has too much character to put up with it.

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 13:38 | 1501617 andybev01
    andybev01's picture

    Lets take that one step beyond.

    If a person is unemployed when our economy goes belly-up (um...belly-up-er?) and thus non-productive, would that make that person a free man instead of a slave?

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 13:54 | 1501672 Cathartes Aura
    Cathartes Aura's picture

    does the fictional character you mention have a socially insecure number assigned?

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 14:38 | 1501789 narnia
    narnia's picture

    when this person lives in a community with an adequate enough black market to trade for all products he or she needs, and takes the initiative to engage in that trade by providing something of value (not just credit), then yes. 

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:38 | 1501441 pappacass
    pappacass's picture

    As a PERSON you already are collateral.

    I'm delighted, as a long sufferin liverpool supporter I hope they kneecap the scumbag as soon as the default happens

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:57 | 1501505 Founders Keeper
    Founders Keeper's picture

    [It happened in the 1930s (when the US offically went bankrupt) and will be again via a raid on the 401ks.]---baby_BLYTHE

    I see from your recent posts you've been reviewing banking history. You go girl. And thank you.

     

     

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:08 | 1501338 SparkySC
    SparkySC's picture

    GOOOOOAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:08 | 1501339 caerus
    caerus's picture

    this is bullish for corner kicks

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:09 | 1501341 squidward
    squidward's picture

    Indentured survatude.

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:10 | 1501342 Cognitive Dissonance
    Cognitive Dissonance's picture

    They better have some key man insurance on the poor bastard. And some on his legs as well.

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:57 | 1501504 carbonmutant
    carbonmutant's picture

    And an assassination clause...

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:11 | 1501345 YesWeKahn
    YesWeKahn's picture

    Isn't that slavery or human traffiking?

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:19 | 1501371 SheepDog-One
    SheepDog-One's picture

    I dont know how they can be putting up PEOPLE as collateral with a straight face. This is total insanity.

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:50 | 1501490 The Chuckling Cunt
    The Chuckling Cunt's picture

    Short answer: technically, no.

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 13:31 | 1501599 knukles
    knukles's picture

    ECB Collateral Rules
    OK

    Let's think this through for a moment.
    What happens if the ECB's collateral is kidnapped and held for ransom?

    Who/what then has a priority of claim on the collateral?  The ECB or the kidnapper?  Posession is 9/10s of the law, no?
    Is there any diffenence between the priority of claims if the kidnapper is a terrorist organization (and thus an act of war) or a financial one (mafia like and thus crime)?
    How will the difference be settled in courts that seem to think that terrorism is a criminal offense and thus should be redressed with therapy, counseling and psychotropic drugs?
    Has an act of fraudulent conveyance been committed by the ECB?
    Either with or without the extension of credit upon Faggatio? 
    When do we cease to take any of this shit seriously? 

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:11 | 1501346 qussl3
    qussl3's picture

    At least the collateral's market value isnt some BS like Greek bonds.

    For the next 5 years at least lol.

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:13 | 1501349 TSA Thug
    TSA Thug's picture

    "Stock Bitch", really? Glenn Beck said that Obama policies are The World Cup. Watch/listen.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPpxvOAVx5M

    .

    --You WILL Obey!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTOcAt44_QA

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:30 | 1501401 SheepDog-One
    SheepDog-One's picture

    < ;(

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:28 | 1501406 SheepDog-One
    SheepDog-One's picture

    Glenn Beck fanboy man knock that off, doesnt Glenn need some more Vaporub to generate fake tears for Israel?

    ?Leaked Video Glenn Beck uses Vicks to fake Crying.flv?‏ - YouTube

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:42 | 1501452 TSA Thug
    TSA Thug's picture

    Enough of the anti-Semitic vitriol from you already. In our training we have been taught how to easily identify you.

    .

    --You WILL Obey!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTOcAt44_QA

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:51 | 1501495 Cole Younger
    Cole Younger's picture

    I am not a Beck fan. I have watched his show a couple of times. What turned me off was the religious overtones. That being said, it was a photo shoot. You have no idea what lengths photographers do to capture emotion (fake or otherwise) With his religious views, I don't doubt he has some emotional issues over Israel but emotions during a sterilized photo shoot setting might be a little difficult to achieve. I am sure considering his montra, a crying Beck image will be used for ther things as well. Keep things in perspective. If you don't like his views, or the man, just say it.

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 14:02 | 1501694 Cathartes Aura
    Cathartes Aura's picture

    Conservative talk show host Glenn Beck announced plans for a rally in Jerusalem in August, which he's calling "Restore Courage."

    The Jerusalem rally will take place one year after Beck organized a rally in Washington, D.C., called "Restoring Honor," which drew an estimated 500,000 people.

    "Last summer, we set out to restore honor in Washington, D.C. This summer, it's time to restore courage," he said. "It is time for us to courageously stand with Israel."

    Beck made the announcement on his radio show on Monday, warning that Jerusalem, the "center or our faith," is in danger.

    http://www.cbn.com/cbnnews/insideisrael/2011/May/Glen-Beck-Announces-Jer...

    I don't like Glenn Beck or his views.  There, I said it.

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:15 | 1501356 phraseshifter
    phraseshifter's picture

    wait till they come for your family jewels

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 14:32 | 1501773 Vinny
    Vinny's picture

    Are you talking about the yeast lords?

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:16 | 1501358 tmosley
    tmosley's picture

    I think they are putting his CONTRACT up as collateral.  Still really, really stupid, though.

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 13:52 | 1501642 prole
    prole's picture

    As mentioned above, this is  a leverage play on Irina Shayk. These bankers have never heard of Ronaldo. I bet they have never heard of soccer. But for a hot little Ruskie like Irina- who wouldn't buy and sell Euruope for her?

    In other news..... The new model false flags are about as creative and innovative as GM cars (same "company")

    "US Army soldier(!) was arrested ... motel room near Ft. Hood, Tejas, con materiales de "bomb-making" segun los Autoridades.

    FBI said the mujahe, oops- soldier, who was AWOL, was being held on .... unrelated child pornagraphy charge."

    Identified as Naser Jason Abdo, 21.

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:17 | 1501359 SheepDog-One
    SheepDog-One's picture

    Is ZH working REAL laggy for anyone else? I dont have any problem with other sites but ZH is taking 20 seconds to load pages or comments?

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:20 | 1501372 Global Hunter
    Global Hunter's picture

    me too yes absolutely 

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:22 | 1501381 SheepDog-One
    SheepDog-One's picture

    Thanks. Just wonderin.

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:25 | 1501396 Ahmeexnal
    Ahmeexnal's picture

    echelon has a hard time keeping up with ZH posters.

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:28 | 1501413 SheepDog-One
    SheepDog-One's picture

    AH, yes, I see now.

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:35 | 1501422 TSA Thug
    TSA Thug's picture

    All the fancy upgrades. Lack of planning/change management/peer review. In computational linguistics: disambiguation.

    Overall: C-

    .

    --You WILL Obey!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTOcAt44_QA

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:22 | 1501380 papaswamp
    papaswamp's picture

    Bullish sign...

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:18 | 1501361 rockraider3
    rockraider3's picture

    This is great news.  We have a wealth of players to post as collateral when our time comes.  Tom Brady.  Albert Puljos.  Kevin Durant. Who knew these guys would come in so handy?

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:19 | 1501362 Sudden Debt
    Sudden Debt's picture

    I WANT 10 MILLION DOLLARS AND I USE... ..... .. BERNANKE AS COLLATERAL!

    oh.... you have to OWN THE BITCH before you can do that?

     

    I WANT 10 MILLION DOLLARS AND I USE MY DOG AS COLLATERAL!! THAT BITCH IS MINE!

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:26 | 1501400 kaiten
    kaiten's picture

    Haha, just what I wanted to say. I wouldnt mind them taking all politicians as collateral. And as for me, I´d give them my old socks ;)

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:18 | 1501364 Global Hunter
    Global Hunter's picture

    Gay Euro footballers bitchez!!!

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:18 | 1501366 piceridu
    piceridu's picture

    Furthermore, the fact that the "collateral" most likely has a virulent case of Paris Hiltonitis which will infect all the other worthless collateral...

    That's fking funny!! Do they need to dip their financial statements in penicilin or treat with piperonyl butoxide?

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:46 | 1501475 JohnG
    JohnG's picture

    Doxycycline, just to be sure.

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 15:01 | 1501872 citta vritti
    citta vritti's picture

    what a great name for the medicine - someone with a sense of humor

    http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/doxy

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:19 | 1501369 equity_momo
    equity_momo's picture

    So err , wtf?

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:19 | 1501370 Mr Lennon Hendrix
    Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

    Hypothecation of Ronaldo!  Bhahaha!

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:20 | 1501374 Mach1513
    Mach1513's picture

    Good as gold!

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:24 | 1501390 Transitory Disi...
    Transitory Disinflation's picture

    You really mean "Good as Goaled"?

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:21 | 1501375 SheepDog-One
    SheepDog-One's picture

    He's only collateral in Europe certainly, because try as they may no one gives a crap about soccer in the US.

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 13:48 | 1501646 andybev01
    andybev01's picture

    "The only thing Americans care less about than the US men's soccer team losing is the US women's soccer team winning."

     

    - Jon Stewart

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 14:05 | 1501701 Blano
    Blano's picture

    Amen to that.

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:21 | 1501377 orca
    orca's picture

    Was in the news here a couple of weeks ago. I do not know if this is a hoax, it smells like it, but on the other hand things are so completely f*cked up it just might be true.

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:24 | 1501378 jmac2013
    jmac2013's picture

    The transfer fees for 'futbol' stars have gotten so out of control (see 38 million pounds for Aguero) that I kind of figured something like this had to be going on.  Just another ponzi I suppose whereby the club is allowed to assign value on the club's books based on their own inflated transfer price paid. 

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:30 | 1501420 Global Hunter
    Global Hunter's picture

    Olympiakos, scary if that's the state of many of the big clubs

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:22 | 1501382 Beau Tox
    Beau Tox's picture

    I could see putting up Ronaldo against the sovereign debt, but Kaka stinks!

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:27 | 1501403 Global Hunter
    Global Hunter's picture

    Putting Kaka up for collateral would be a bit like putting whoever happens to be England's starting goalkeeper up for collateral against UK debt.

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:33 | 1501430 Beau Tox
    Beau Tox's picture

    Sorry, Global, for the bad American pun.  Kaka (Caca) is another baby term here for poopoo, merde, scheisse, shyte, doodoo, etc.

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:49 | 1501484 Global Hunter
    Global Hunter's picture

    right over my head...Kaka actually has stunk the last 2 years it works both ways!

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:22 | 1501383 Transitory Disi...
    Transitory Disinflation's picture

    There is something very worrying about 12 half naked men playing with some leather.

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:25 | 1501393 Global Hunter
    Global Hunter's picture

    11

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 14:07 | 1501706 Blano
    Blano's picture

    Doesn't matter.......nobody gives a shit here.

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 14:07 | 1501710 Cathartes Aura
    Cathartes Aura's picture

    not to mention the millions who just like to watch.

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:24 | 1501384 sabra1
    sabra1's picture

    what would happen if i broke his kicking leg? he's probably locked up in a room, never to come out!

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:28 | 1501387 Mercury
    Mercury's picture

    How do you say:  Look Ma!....I'm bank collateral!  in Portuguese?

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:33 | 1501428 digalert
    digalert's picture
    Olhe Ma!....Eu sou garantia bancária!
    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:24 | 1501391 Lazarus Long
    Lazarus Long's picture

    The truth has finally come out we are just fucking assets.

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 14:09 | 1501714 Cathartes Aura
    Cathartes Aura's picture

    and liabilities.  for balance.

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:25 | 1501398 Rockfish
    Rockfish's picture

    Chris Christie, NJ governor is in the hospital reportedly for asthma. Responding to a question, that NJ air quality was the cause of his infirmary Kristy responded. "There aint nothin wrong with NJ air quality, I'm here because I'm a fat bastard."

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:28 | 1501410 Ahmeexnal
    Ahmeexnal's picture

    fat fiat bastard

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:35 | 1501429 NuYawkFrankie
    NuYawkFrankie's picture

    Funnily enuf, I was just thinking that he looked like he could easily drop 50pounds and still

    have 3 or 4 chins

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:29 | 1501412 Mugatu
    Mugatu's picture

    I will trade you one Lionel Messi for three Ronaldo's.  One looks good on your team, the other just looks good in the tabloid pages.

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:28 | 1501414 Natasha
    Natasha's picture

    This gives new meaning to "Human Resource". It's digusting.

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:29 | 1501415 digalert
    digalert's picture

    Anyone ask Ronaldo if he wants to be a CDS?

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:42 | 1501456 kaiten
    kaiten's picture

    As a collateral,  he has no rights ;)

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:29 | 1501417 AnAnonymous
    AnAnonymous's picture

    After that, people here will still maintain that it is in this side of the world that people have this crisis hard.

    Allowed to use a extremely specialized worker contract like a football player... Excellent. To be compared to nations that are forced to put real wealth on the table to cover for their debt.

    It is the kind of deal the Chinese, the Indians, the Middle Easterners are eating right now, they have to buy western debt and if stuff turns sour, they will be repaid in football players contracts.

    Who is in the mess? Only US citizens, who are duplicitous by nature, emit the idea that debt is bad and they are the ones suffering in their US world order while the others have it easy...

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:29 | 1501418 NuYawkFrankie
    NuYawkFrankie's picture

    Any chance of putting up Hillary as collateral - and then, of course, defaulting on the loan?

    Hey fuggedabout Hildebeast - whadabout all of CongrASS as collateral? Let some other sucker have 'em!

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:41 | 1501436 carbonmutant
    carbonmutant's picture

    OMG...

    How long before the desperate US banks follow suit...

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:41 | 1501444 TheLooza
    TheLooza's picture

    seems perfectly reasonable.  now if on the other hand you used a Pau Gasol as the collateral.  I say one bridge too far, sir. 

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:41 | 1501445 Bastiat
    Bastiat's picture

    Will they whip him if he doesn't perform? Will they syndicate his stud rights?  (Forget it, Blythe you couldn't afford him ;-)

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:42 | 1501447 TheLooza
    TheLooza's picture

    --

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:43 | 1501457 zero intelligence
    zero intelligence's picture

    The ECB's collateral is Kaka.

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:43 | 1501461 Founders Keeper
    Founders Keeper's picture

    (Schwartzenegger voice...)

    ...This is getting betta by the minute.

     

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:46 | 1501470 MK ultra
    MK ultra's picture
    "Football Legend Cristiano Ronaldo To Be Used As ECB Collateral"

     

    Guys, pay attention and try to get this right from now on: Kick-ball (excuse me.. "Soccer") is *not* FOOTBALL.

    Soccer is for the pussies who wanted to mix acting classes with shorts and knee-highs. Want proof?  Observe the theatrics when one of them bumps into another player and rolls around on the ground crying and moaning.. until he realizes no one is watching. Then he jumps up and runs away down the field like nothing happened.

    ..Gimme a break

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 14:00 | 1501685 prole
    prole's picture

    I thought that was just that Henri guy?

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:47 | 1501477 Reptil
    Reptil's picture

    let's just pray he doesn't sprain his ankle? or worse..... his knee?!?!?!
    instant bankruptcy for the whole iberic isle then.

    o__0

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:47 | 1501478 Piranhanoia
    Piranhanoia's picture

    Look for the Coliseum Solution to come to every reasonable sized municipality in the land.  Cage fighting, politicians doing battle with each other with real weapons!,  TeamDeath competition so you can organize a deathteam in your own town and capture the glory that was Rome as you fight the citizens of a nearby community!   

    Remember what happens in supposedly civilized societies when a football match of any kind is postponed, canceled or threatened for any reason.  There is typically violence in the streets.  

    I expect NFL players to start wearing blades and spikes on their helmets and garments before long. Maybe they will add a 12th person on the team that has a club?  Has to be more blood to satisfy the masses.  NFL players will go for it, they are dumber than a box of shit and their union will tell them it will be good good.  You will get a new retirement package you can't use because you will be dead!.

    Developed world,  give me a banana any day.

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:49 | 1501483 slaughterer
    slaughterer's picture

    Posting Ronaldo as collateral makes sense: he is a valuable asset in Spain.  All of Europe is doing what Spain is doing here, whether it is a footballer, or a fashion model, or a Bordeaux vineyard, or a collection of manuscripts.  Europe is just putting its heritage (its most valuable asset) into circulation.     

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 13:18 | 1501559 Mugatu
    Mugatu's picture

    FYI - Ronaldo is actually a Portuguese citizen and plays for Portugal in the World Cup.  His club team is in Spain.  

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 13:53 | 1501669 andybev01
    andybev01's picture

    So he is in a sense, a prisoner of war.

    Next step: gladitorial games!

    Games on, bitchezz!!

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 13:55 | 1501671 andybev01
    andybev01's picture

    *hiccup!*

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:50 | 1501489 JPL
    JPL's picture

    No joke until the football bubble explodes

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 14:03 | 1501689 andybev01
    andybev01's picture

    Which makes me think that BaNzai could do something creative with this:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ddmXM-96-no

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 14:02 | 1501690 andybev01
    andybev01's picture

    *excuse me*

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:53 | 1501497 Lord Blankcheck
    Lord Blankcheck's picture

    think of how far they can kick the can down the road

     

    definately a banking asset

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:58 | 1501507 caerus
    caerus's picture

    CME to start ronaldo futures market...watch out for those margin hikes

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 13:01 | 1501516 slewie the pi-rat
    slewie the pi-rat's picture

    this is hugely bullish for lloyds of london.

    but, listen:  how would you like to get in on the ground floor of the Jim Rome Rating Agency?

    just dial 1-CALL SLEWIE for your free non-regulated Special Investor's Kit

    mention zHedge and get our free brochure:  Safe 0nline Sex

    CALL NOW BiCheZ

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 13:27 | 1501589 Use of Weapons
    Use of Weapons's picture

     

    Portugal 'sells' Ronaldo to Spain in €160m deal on national debt

    By Glenn Moore, Football Editor

    Friday, 1 April 2011


    AFP/Getty

    Weighed down by debt, and reeling from the latest downgrading of their country's credit status, Portugal's finance ministry has secured the co-operation of football's highest-paid player in an audacious bid to draw the nation back from the brink of economic collapse.

    In a move which some observers claimed "will lead to the destruction of the World Cup", Cristiano Ronaldo has agreed to "act like a patriot" and be sold to neighbouring Spain for €160m.

    Last week, Prime Minister José Sócrates resigned after his government's latest austerity package was rejected by parliament. His move followed the downgrading of his country's credit rating to the category above "junk". While Ronaldo's fee, though double the current record (paid by Real Madrid to Manchester United for Ronaldo's club affiliation in 2009) barely dents the €12bn Portugal owes, Mr Socrates, now caretaker premier, believes that the international bond markets will take it as a symbol of Portugal's determination to tackle the crisis, and respond accordingly.

     

    http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/football/international/portugal-sells...

     

    Life imitating art, or Troll copying Troll?

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 13:36 | 1501612 Misean
    Misean's picture

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHHHHAHhahahhahha...a.ha..ha.h...ahahhahah...a..ha.h....a.h..ha........GASP! COUGH!

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 14:10 | 1501718 Use of Weapons
    Use of Weapons's picture

    You laughed yourself outside the 4th wall.

     

    Interesting.

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 14:04 | 1501698 ACP
    ACP's picture

    So I guess the next step is to bundle up a bunch of subprime players and sell them as AAA-rated Football Player Backed Securities (FPBS)?

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 14:38 | 1501758 WoodMizer
    WoodMizer's picture

    Ronaldo will only count as 3/5ths. of a soccer player in a year.

    Plus he wont have decision rights over his future employment.

    If Renaldo depreciates, will the ECB will own his kids too?

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 14:41 | 1501798 Bunga Bunga
    Bunga Bunga's picture

    Can I offer Ruby as collateral?

    Thu, 07/28/2011 - 14:41 | 1501801 Bunga Bunga
    Bunga Bunga's picture

    Can I offer Ruby as collateral?

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    chinawholesaler's picture

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