Friday Afternoon Humor

Tyler Durden's picture

Our joke di giorno has an unusual source: a Prime Minister with a penchant for buggery, who in this case has discovered a very curious source for all of Italy's woes...


So you see, it is now not the evil CDS speculators, nor the just as evil short sellers, nor even the vile blogs spreading seditious truth, that is to blame for Italy's imminet bankruptcy. It is... America (granted it is not quite Bush, but close).

Souce: Bloomberg

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Templeton's picture

Those darn Americans.  How could they be so selfish as to not throw additional money at the European markets?

Arius's picture

the gringos ... but hey, they got to make a living too. ... sorry, amigc and Ciao bella ...

slewie the pi-rat's picture


Hoho! & Heehee!

at least he isn't committed to having anal sex w/ ron.paul.con for the next 14 months like you are, tyler!  TPTB rule zeroHedge!

here's slewie's candidate (if he runs) and, as we remember the "reason" that the USA now has a policy of torture and denial of, NOT "human rights", but denial of LAW & JUSTICE to all, please consider what the best freaking presidential candidate of the century has to say about this 9.11 weekend~~~yeah, the guy who has been on the ballot in all 50 states for the last two elections, ralphie-boy nader:
The Empire is Eating Itself » Counterpunch: Tells the Facts, Names the Names

L0L!!!  (if you take a few minutes to read this piece, you will understand why he is the best candidate.  if he runz, of course, no matter wtf tyler is hallucinating, politically, these daze)

i know...he can't ever win!  he's just not mainstream enuf for the MSM and...zeroHedge...not one of the "tyler durden-approved" two-party system in america...


fight club, BiCheZ!!!!

Snidley Whipsnae's picture

No way Nader can win Slewie... He disapproved of Pintos and Corvairs... and that is not a spicy Mexican meal...

TruthInSunshine's picture

If 1150 breaks hard on the spooz, this will be the ugliest close this year.


edit - 1151.40 @ 2.49 pm est, bitchez. 11 minutes away from seeing the major move.

slewie the pi-rat's picture

didya read what ralphie-bot wrote abt 9.11, snidley?

and america?

that's a Y/N question

The Empire is Eating Itself » Counterpunch: Tells the Facts, Names the Names

if yep, whaddija think?  your opinion is respected by others beside slewie, i'll bet

beyond that, i gave you the green fer yer fri PM humor, old sport!


Snidley Whipsnae's picture

Ok, Ok... I'll go read it... You're a persistent little mammal... back after perusal. Greenie to you...for courage of conviction, which few have.

slewie the pi-rat's picture

must go play video poker & slots!

see ya later, snidley!

and, thxz!  [for reading it]

Snidley Whipsnae's picture

I read and agree with it. You will find few who dispise the nonpatriot act more than I do. You will find few who are more aware than me of the destruction of our country caused by the parade of rotten pols and bankers since at least the 1960s.

Nader is fighting an unwinnable battle until the collapse... I hope he is around and can take the reins after the inevitable happens.

Thanks for the link

slewie the pi-rat's picture

you are most welcome S_W!

i know a lotta zeroheadz are waaay into r.paul, and i actually think he's the second best candidate after ralphie-boy, if r.nader is a candidate

i'm hoping some of r.pauls's peeps take nader as their #2 guy b/c if he doesn't get the republican nod or the VP slot, what the hell they gonna do?

if he does get the nod, nader might be able to put him in the WH, just by running

anyhow, thxz for your time and attention, here, snidley;  that is one heluva piece of timely political writing for USA 2011, in my book!

i'll change my drift on tyler and r.paul.  maybe.  but, i do want to get people's attention, here, and it's quite hard w/ tyler throwing all these articles at the bloggerz

thxz again to you and any others that took the time from tyler's non-stop stuff to take a look at someone many may certainly see as their #2 and some as a # 1, with NO mainstream political baggage

p.s. i won $37.75!  Yay!

DollarMenu's picture


Ralph Nader was on our ballot for the McCain vs OBama show.

He got my vote.


oldman's picture

Thanks, Slewie

Unfortunately for all of---I think that you are too bright and too honest for ZH. Maybe, it is time to move on.

You nearly inspire me to vote for my favorite candidate, Mr. Nader, but I definitely will not be here for the election. Thanks for your recent posts, they prove that not everyone is brain-dead in the US of A or ZH.

Good luck to you, brother         om    no sarcasm in this

i-dog's picture

You're not the only one who is angry at the overwhelming majority of reactionaries commenting on ZH, Slewie. But I don't think the blame lies with Tyler (though some of his "assistants" sure put out a stream of globalist and MSM fodder!). TD has never actually suggested Ron Paul as a solution [I could be wrong here, but I've never noticed it ... so, link/s please to any TD endorsement/s] ... even though, like many other alternative media sites, he sure gives RP plenty of coverage.

Everyone has a different understanding of the true nature of the root cause of the collapse ("it's the jooz", "it's the raghedz", "it's the bankstaz", "it's the borrowerz", "it's the layaboutz", "it's the unions", "it's the corporations", "it's the corporate executives", "it's the communists", "it's the capitalists", "it's the Austrians", "it's the Keynesians" ... ad infinitum) and that is a fundamental objective of those really behind the collapse ... to confuse, to misdirect, to create false trails, to finance and promote gatekeepers ... in short, to employ the Hegelian dialectic to progressively divide into smaller and smaller sub-units, or "teams", of supporters running in all the wrong directions in order to synthesize a solution (feudalism) to all of the above contrived theses and antitheses.

With all of those misdirected assumptions of the cause, comes a plethora of suggested 'solutions' and, quite frankly, I don't see ELECTING Ralph Nader (or anybody else, for that matter) as a sensible solution. Nader (he seems to be "clean") might be a more sensible choice than electing Ron Paul (just another gatekeeper, with deep connections to TPTB), or Perry (another Obama: not what he seems, and very dangerous), or Obama again (we all know he is not what he seemed, and has already proven to be exceptionally dangerous). Washington DC is an enemy of the American sovereign states and therefore of the American people ... so continuing to rely on electing a supreme puppet to control the puppet master is a fool's errand!

Back to Tyler and ZH: There is no doubt that ZH is a honeypot to flush out dissenters destined for Camp FEMA (whether TD intended it as such or not), but there has been no more critical voice than TD of the Fed, the Treasury, the policies of the Administration, the lies of the politicians, the regulators asleep at the wheel, the manipulations of the big financial insiders, and the blatant cheerleading by the MSM for the globalists. Nobody reading ZH can claim to be ignorant of what's going down and who's actively sinking the ship. Even Alex Jones (the master gatekeeper for those he will not name), who used to reference ZH many times each day on his sites, now only quotes ZH once in a while ... primarily because ZH is so effective at exposing the lies and has too many commenters critical of Ron Paul.

You may be "mad as hell and not going to take it any more", but don't shoot the messenger(s).


slewie the pi-rat's picture

it was last weekend i-dog

i'll go dig it out

i'm not mad, i'm just fighting!

oldman: thxz for the nice vibes and ditto to you;  it's pretty good here for slewie.  i'm most thankful that tyler let's us publish our ideas here and try to beat the stuffin outa each other too

i really do like trying to kill trolls and plants and working with others to try to keep the site cookin for the real; fight club is a heluva book of psychological truth and the movie is awesome, the whole cast being one of the finest ensembles in celluloid history;  it is a true honor to be part of that tradition and zeroHedge is the best site on the web, imo

our tyler(s) are fabulous writers and humor/satirist(s) and extremely knowledgeable about business, trading, bankstering, PMs, people, culture, the world, psychology and that's enuf for now.  if i don't like something, i just go ape-shit and have made a fool of myself here almost as much as in my family and "social" life!

slewie the pi-rat's picture

i found it i-dog!

i'm not against tyler, but i'm not afraid to mix it up w/him, either;  i think t.d. understands where i'm coming from; i certainly hope so!  again. i'm just so grateful for the opportunity to have my say, and i've learned so much here in 7+ months, that i quess i should take a minute to thank tyler et al and the other legit bloggers here:  brothers & sisters, thank you all!

this "link" prob won't work, b/c i'm signed in and it opens to "welcome, slewie...", but here's the post: "I Am Jim Rogers And I Support Ron Paul" 

there's a 31 sec youtoob of jim endorsing r.paul. 

tyler's first sentence (paste):  Ron Paul has another illustrious supporter - Jim Rogers.

2nd sentence: The Quantum fund co-founder, who has been spot on about pretty much everything for the past 3 years...

last sentence:  Zero Hedge agrees on all counts.  (emphases mine)  

now, if i've misunderstood t.d., he can clarify things any time he wishes, right?  but it's been two weeks, i_d, and if this isn't an endorsement of a candidate for president 14 months before the election, then i think tyler needs to clarify.  there are 112 tweets and 430 facefuk "sends" on this puppy, big dawg!  almost 500 blogs and shit and punches flying all over the place! 

slewie, of course, called out rogers for being an ex-pat and questioned whether he or t.d. were even able to vote in the US and got in tyler's face and when jay-dub stepped up to "correct me" about for pushing back @ t.d. that was the end of any "friendship" we had!

at the same time i acknowledged tyler's absolute right, as our publisher to endorese any candidate he felt was the best

you were prob out burying gold!

thxz for asking!


i-dog's picture

Bugger ... I just knew you'd catch me out. I didn't see that one.

One other thing to keep in mind is that we all let our language slip for the sake of brevity from time to time. For example, I might say that "I agree with Ron Paul", when in fact I really mean to say "I agree with Ron Paul on this and a couple of other issues, but I disagree with him on most others and I don't agree with electing a president or a federal government to solve all our problems anyway". That''s obviously not what TD meant, but I do try to pull myself up when making blanket statements.

However, I shouldn't be answering for TD ... since this site is in all probability a limited hangout to draw you and I into displaying our dissent from the status quo. (But I have never cared that it might be, since even just viewing this site will put one onto a FEMA invitation list, so expressing how I really feel won't change much ... maybe just losing the top bunk to an occasional viewer). LOL!

Keep up the good fight, you feisty pi-rat!!

slewie the pi-rat's picture

hey, thanks!

at the poker table there are only two "social" rules

  • don't discuss religion
  • don't discuss politics

now, this isn't a poker table, ok? 
but, still, i don't think jim was ambiguous in his endorsement of r.paul
and i don't think tyler was, either
he's down as agreeing entirely w/ jim on r.paul
tyler thinks he's the best guy a`la jim.  clearly
i don't
no biggie, but, as a publisher, tyler cannot both endorse and not endorse a candidate at the same time
at least not on my watch
tyler coulda presented jim's views just as well w/out the last sentence
but, he didn't

no "partisan" is objective about politics
tyler included
he surrendered his objectivity on the nov, 2012 preZidential election on 8.27.11
again, that's his play, and he's entitled to make it
but he can't pretend to be objective at this point
"everybody's got an agenda" (t.d.)
so, he's down
i'm down
so fuking what?
i just checked.  nader's running.  he will be on the ballot in all 50 states for the third time.  he will probably not be "invited" to a debate.  again.  he will probably not be "endorsed" by jack shit.  again. 
but slewie is gonna give him some copy here (poor bastard)
alex & jeff already publish him extensively on CP
i think there is a 99.9% chance every american will be able to vote for ralphie-boy, again, in 2012, if he or she so chooses
wtf!  i'll take that and run all day long w/ it!
so go ahead and spend the next fuking year trying to get paul on the ballot, tyler;  make my day!

Mactheknife's picture

Alright...who told?  There's no way he could have figured that out on his own.

TruthInSunshine's picture

And then there was Bernank Two Times, who got that nickname because he said everything twice:


"I'm gonna' go and print some more fiat, print some more fiat."

quasimodo's picture

LMAO, classic Goodfellas. It never gets old

hbjork1's picture

Pentagon has lots of money. Maybe Berlusconi would be willing to sell Sicily to be used as a forward staging base for Middle Eastern operations.  Might be cheaper than the latest new carriers. 

Snidley Whipsnae's picture

Is Berlusconi playing his fiddle while watching the Euro fiat burn?

Sicily is too far from Mid East... but the Lambrusco is great...

Rodent Freikorps's picture

Malta would be better.

Deep water port.

Snidley Whipsnae's picture


Sigonella near Cantania is a good naval air station... Not much of a port except for fishing smacks.

slewie the pi-rat's picture

consider the birds of the air...

not to mention the no coast of libya!

[libya:  once a "playground" for rommel, patton, and monty, then,  a great "place" for the frog for'n legion, a "colony" of italy, a "kindom", a "dictatorship" the US cuddled up to earlier this decade so we could render our 'prisoners' there 2B tortured, and now a "complete fuking mess", ruled by winners, and soon to be a "democracy" according to that most beloved document of the "early" enlightenment,...and so on...and so forth,...and scooby dooby dooby...]


TruthInSunshine's picture

Libya had no central bank practicing fractional reserve banking, and it was resistant to OPEC and the USD/oil mechanism.

Amazingly enough, it now has a central bank (practicing fractional reserve banking) and is all aboard the USD/oil mechanism (with the big boys already carving up its oil fields).

I'm sure all of this is just a coincidence, after the fact, however (/sarc/).

CompassionateFascist's picture

Patton never fought in Libya...that was Tunisia, 1943.

slewie the pi-rat's picture

you may be correct, but are you sure he never crossed the "border" to either engage, pursue, or retreat?  no one from his div ever went across or fired across?


a very close freind of my family was w/ the 3rd in europe and was the first allied officer to enter buchenwald, which was surrendered to him.  so, i'm not trying to give you a hard time, i'd like to know.  i'm not too up to speed on the no. africa campaign, tho...

Moe Howard's picture

Bush's America did it!

NumberNone's picture

He's clearly learned well at the knee of the master scapegoater Obama.

DoneThis2Long's picture

Most soytainly not. It was Bush himself single-handedly, although I am still trying to figure out how someone considered so dumb, he became the butt of even kindergarten jokes, have been so competent and intelligent to be the root of just about everything evil some going back long before even his old man was born. Was the a dope with a disengaged managerial style? So me thinks, was he the evil as every tom dick & harry have been making the dope to be? Me no thinks so. Can't have it both ways.

Providing enough people will be left alive, and will give a shit, when all this shit is said and done, will show that the clintons, individually and together have been, and continue to be far worse and have done more damage to America than the worst traitors in our history - I doubt it we knew/know of them all. Obama is following in their footsteps. They all are on the same payroll and do not mean the US government.


RockyRacoon's picture

You left Dick Cheney out of your cast of characters.  That explains some of your dilemma about Dubya.

Things that go bump's picture

Evil does not necessarily equate with high intelligence, and if you really want to talk about traitors, take a close look at GWB's grandfather and his attemped coup.  

TruthInSunshine's picture

It's going to be an ugly close, today - maybe -5% or more ugly.


tekhneek's picture

BAC printing 6.97.... burn bitch.


ZeroPower's picture

Obamao acquired Italy's funds indirectly! And it was cause of Bush!


bugs_'s picture

We need your big american dollars.

Concentrated power has always been the enemy of liberty.'s picture

i thought the worst of political scum all lived here.

kaiten's picture

He didnt blame, he explained the situation.

tawdzilla's picture

STFU and go make me a calzone

hambone's picture

and make it just like mama used to make it...

margaris's picture

where is the ****** gabagool?

UGrev's picture

ahaahaha.. you've been watching too much Soprano's or something ;)

margaris's picture

not directly, but i watched this parody here maybe a dozen times: