Friday Fun With Financial Fatalism

Tyler Durden's picture




 

It seemed appropriate, given Europe is hitting the wall again in its vicious cycle of self-financed self-hypnotizing recovery-less recovery, to present the 'World Collapse Explained In 3 Minutes' that so mockingly relates the real state of absurdity we face in today's financial markets.

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Fri, 04/13/2012 - 15:22 | 2342529 bank guy in Brussels
bank guy in Brussels's picture

Amazing it still seems up-to-date ... Australian comedians Clarke and Dawe, superb

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 15:28 | 2342545 Chief KnocAHoma
Chief KnocAHoma's picture

Conservatives lead the series 3-2, Biel just made it interesting.

http://annoyanidiot.blogspot.com/

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 15:52 | 2342595 Pladizow
Fri, 04/13/2012 - 17:08 | 2342759 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

Here's another truly brilliant comedy Vid

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LO2eh6f5Go0

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 18:00 | 2342831 AldousHuxley
AldousHuxley's picture

The money is borrowed from future....that's where they get the money.

 

Europeans have colonial imperialistic life styles (not much work, cultural arrogance, live in relative luxury), but decreasing colonial powers mean they are just using their children's credit card.

 

US at least uses their credit cards to buy guns and rob others.

 

Meanwhile slave owners in India, China, Brazil, and thugs in Russia thank capitalism for giving them legitimacy of their ill-gotten gains...or it is that American and European elites did not have legitamacy either?

 

"Capitalist": hey you can't tax me or take my money because I took $1 M business and grew it to make it $100M

Labor: Where did you get the startup capital?

American elite: my father or grandfather's trust fund and then I hired others to actually run it.

Russian Elite: I sort of just took over the government business as the prime protector when USSR fell.

Chinese Elite: Communist government gave me the post through politicial connections.

 

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 18:17 | 2342866 Hook Line and S...
Hook Line and Sphincter's picture

The money is not borrowed from the future, it's usurped from the value of the purchasing power in your pocket, now, and in the near future.

Hook Line and Sphincter  ( ! )J

 

Sat, 04/14/2012 - 02:38 | 2343569 12ToothAssassin
12ToothAssassin's picture

But Christine Lagarde says the IMF needs LESS money now...

 

http://rt.com/business/news/imf-lagarde-money-crisis-980/

 

 

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 18:30 | 2342887 Seer
Seer's picture

"my father or grandfather's trust fund and then I hired others to actually run it."

Yeah, and where did THAT come from?

You take shots at Europe for their OLD money, but fail to delve back into US's past as well.

For those who are short on history lessons, it went like this:

-> <STRIKE "America" was FREE for the brave souls that struggled to come there... STRIKE>  Resources were plundered on the American continent as the COLONIZERS (generally wealthier WHITE people) slaughtered indigenous natives

-> Plundered goods were SOLD to Europe in exchange for wealth that the Europeans stole elsewhere (MONEY LAUNDERING)

-> US government further steals land from natives and GIVES it to rich industrialists

-> Rich industrialists (and rich southern "gentlemen") amass LOTS of wealth and power, which enables them to set forth generational control over the US (1%-ers; same as it ever was, same as it ever was)

-> After a 150-year head-start, garnering lots of wealth from slave labor and theft of resources from underneath natives, the US govt announces that "blacks" are now "equal" (except no power, no money/wealth)

-> US backs global economy (military bought and paid for by the common laborers) so that its 1%-ers can continue to rule

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 19:17 | 2342974 knightowl77
knightowl77's picture

Oh yea....and what tribe in Europe was there at the beginning of time....

Romans conquering Gauls and Saxons...Vikings conquering Saxons and Franks...Normans displacing Saxons....

 

All of Europe (and the rest of the world) was 1 tribe or group invading the land held by someone else, killing them and exploiting the resources....

You sound like the colonists in America were worse than what went on all over the world and is still going on.....

Get a grip -"""the US govt announces that "blacks" are now "equal" (except no power, no money/wealth)""" what about Barry Obama as prez of the so-called imperialists????

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 20:04 | 2343026 Seer
Seer's picture

Sorry, dick-head, for POINTING out the FACTS of history: notice that you were UNABLE to dispute them.

And fuck off about Obama shit.   I don't give a flying fuck about him.  Again, you illiterate piece of shit- give ME 150 years head-start and I'll OWN you for eternity.  It's about pious fucks like you who don't believe their shit stinks.

Loser!

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 20:33 | 2343062 thewhitelion
thewhitelion's picture

Dude--chill.

For all of our sakes. .adslot-overlay {position: absolute; font-family: arial, sans-serif; background-color: rgba(0,0,0,0.65); border: 2px solid rgba(0,0,0,0.65); color: white !important; margin: 0; z-index: 2147483647; text-decoration: none; box-sizing: border-box; text-align: left;}.adslot-overlay-iframed {top: 0; left: 0; right: 0; bottom: 0;}.slotname {position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; right: 0; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold; padding: 3px 0 3px 6px; vertical-align: middle; background-color: rgba(0,0,0,0.45); text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap; overflow: hidden;}.slotname span {text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-transform: capitalize;}.revenue {position: absolute; bottom: 0; left: 0; right: 0; font-size: 11px; padding: 3px 0 3px 6px; vertial-align: middle; text-align: left; background-color: rgba(0,0,0,0.45); font-weight: bold; text-overflow: ellipsis; overflow: hidden; white-space: nowrap;}.revenue .name {color: #ccc;}.revenue .horizontal .metric {display: inline-block; padding-right: 1.5em;}.revenue .horizontal .name {padding-right: 0.5em;}.revenue .vertical .metric {display: block; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0.5em;}.revenue .vertical .name, .revenue .vertical .value {display: block;}.revenue .square .metric, .revenue .button .metric {display: table-row;}.revenue .square .metric {line-height: 1.5em;}.revenue .square .name, .revenue .square .value, .revenue .button .value {display: table-cell;}.revenue .square .name {padding-right: 1.5em;}.revenue .button .name {display: block; margin-right: 0.5em; width: 1em; overflow: hidden; text-overflow: clip;}.revenue .button .name:first-letter {margin-right: 1.5em;}a.adslot-overlay:hover {border: 2px solid rgba(58,106,173,0.9);}a.adslot-overlay:hover .slotname {border-bottom: 1px solid rgba(81,132,210,0.9); background-color: rgba(58,106,173,0.9);}a.adslot-overlay:hover .revenue {border-top: 1px solid rgba(81,132,210,0.9); background-color: rgba(58,106,173,0.9);}div.adslot-overlay:hover {cursor: not-allowed; border: 2px solid rgba(64,64,64,0.9);}div.adslot-overlay:hover .slotname {border-bottom: 1px solid rgba(128,128,128,0.9); background-color: rgba(64,64,64,0.9);}div.adslot-overlay:hover .revenue {border-top: 1px solid rgba(128,128,128,0.9); background-color: rgba(64,64,64,0.9);} PS  Tried 8 times to delete this.   .adslot-overlay {position: absolute; font-family: arial, sans-serif; background-color: rgba(0,0,0,0.65); border: 2px solid rgba(0,0,0,0.65); color: white !important; margin: 0; z-index: 2147483647; text-decoration: none; box-sizing: border-box; text-align: left;}.adslot-overlay-iframed {top: 0; left: 0; right: 0; bottom: 0;}.slotname {position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; right: 0; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold; padding: 3px 0 3px 6px; vertical-align: middle; background-color: rgba(0,0,0,0.45); text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap; overflow: hidden;}.slotname span {text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-transform: capitalize;}.revenue {position: absolute; bottom: 0; left: 0; right: 0; font-size: 11px; padding: 3px 0 3px 6px; vertial-align: middle; text-align: left; background-color: rgba(0,0,0,0.45); font-weight: bold; text-overflow: ellipsis; overflow: hidden; white-space: nowrap;}.revenue .name {color: #ccc;}.revenue .horizontal .metric {display: inline-block; padding-right: 1.5em;}.revenue .horizontal .name {padding-right: 0.5em;}.revenue .vertical .metric {display: block; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0.5em;}.revenue .vertical .name, .revenue .vertical .value {display: block;}.revenue .square .metric, .revenue .button .metric {display: table-row;}.revenue .square .metric {line-height: 1.5em;}.revenue .square .name, .revenue .square .value, .revenue .button .value {display: table-cell;}.revenue .square .name {padding-right: 1.5em;}.revenue .button .name {display: block; margin-right: 0.5em; width: 1em; overflow: hidden; text-overflow: clip;}.revenue .button .name:first-letter {margin-right: 1.5em;}a.adslot-overlay:hover {border: 2px solid rgba(58,106,173,0.9);}a.adslot-overlay:hover .slotname {border-bottom: 1px solid rgba(81,132,210,0.9); background-color: rgba(58,106,173,0.9);}a.adslot-overlay:hover .revenue {border-top: 1px solid rgba(81,132,210,0.9); background-color: rgba(58,106,173,0.9);}div.adslot-overlay:hover {cursor: not-allowed; border: 2px solid rgba(64,64,64,0.9);}div.adslot-overlay:hover .slotname {border-bottom: 1px solid rgba(128,128,128,0.9); background-color: rgba(64,64,64,0.9);}div.adslot-overlay:hover .revenue {border-top: 1px solid rgba(128,128,128,0.9); background-color: rgba(64,64,64,0.9);}
Sat, 04/14/2012 - 00:15 | 2343270 Likstane
Likstane's picture

Except for the 3rd paragraph where you state "a.adslot-overlay;hover .slotname {border-bottom: spxsolid rgba", I agree wholeheartedly.  My concern is that more people will overlook this commentary only to recall it later, when it's too late!

Sat, 04/14/2012 - 01:40 | 2343336 theTribster
theTribster's picture

I agree!

Sat, 04/14/2012 - 11:08 | 2345286 jwoop66
jwoop66's picture

Present some facts first, and then they can be disputed.   What you write is pure nonsense.  Zinn much?

Sun, 04/15/2012 - 07:17 | 2346288 tjp
tjp's picture

This was hysterical. Thank you for recommending!

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 15:53 | 2342617 LowProfile
LowProfile's picture

Fucking impostor!

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 16:18 | 2342663 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

have you noticed that clonie seems to keep bankster hours?

either that or maybe she punched in on swing from spQQk-ville.  again

with the tran'script', yet   L0L!

let's all have a drink w/ clonie & tyler b/c he brought us 2 risk0ff days in one week, plus,  it brings so many changes...

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 18:48 | 2342923 derek_vineyard
derek_vineyard's picture

slewie

dont drop the soap near your clone  (out of habit he will spread his wide)

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 22:40 | 2343184 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

the last one was a he; this one is a she;  strapped, of course

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 17:08 | 2342758 EvlTheCat
EvlTheCat's picture

Imitation of slewie is the highest form of inflammatory!

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 18:19 | 2342869 Likstane
Likstane's picture

Isn't this the fake slewie? 

Sat, 04/14/2012 - 11:09 | 2345291 jwoop66
jwoop66's picture

Damn, Slewie, you're really into it!!

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 15:41 | 2342591 Carl Spackler
Carl Spackler's picture

No, Who is not the first baseman.  Who owes all the money.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 18:09 | 2342845 Harbanger
Harbanger's picture

Question is Who pays Mr. Hu?  You pay now!

Sat, 04/14/2012 - 02:10 | 2343393 Apostate2
Apostate2's picture

Mr Hu's an air warden now

"He goes round every night to make the black-out sure ?So if you've got a chink in your window, you'll have another one at your door."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eP4VzIlBpX8H


Fri, 04/13/2012 - 15:21 | 2342531 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

A little bit of debt will solve all of this, you'll see!

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 15:23 | 2342532 Jlmadyson
Jlmadyson's picture

As funny as this video is it is so right. Fact is it has only gotten much worse.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 15:23 | 2342533 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

2.45

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 15:28 | 2342546 moskov
moskov's picture

The reality is pathetic

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 15:29 | 2342550 Shleprock
Shleprock's picture

Brilliant.  It all makes sense now!!

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 15:30 | 2342554 navy62802
navy62802's picture

I think this is finally the European collapse we have been waiting for. Not good, but inevitable. Next week is going to be quite interesting.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 15:40 | 2342585 schatzi
schatzi's picture

Too early. I'm shitting bricks though. I'm smack bang in the middle of it. Next week will indeed be interesting. What can the ECB come up with? Eurobonds? Doubt it. That'l have the Germans rioting on the streets and politicians running off to the constitutional court.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 15:57 | 2342626 CrashisOptimistic
CrashisOptimistic's picture

There will be a parade of EU officials and ECB officials sprinting for microphones to announce a brand new program where they lend money to banks who are not credit worthy, and the banks are expected to in turn make loans (buy bonds) of countries in Europe who are not credit worthy.

This will cause a temporary jump in the markets.

Which will all end when it becomes clear those banks took the ECB pseudo LTRO money and used it to buy US Treasuries.

Sat, 04/14/2012 - 01:52 | 2343343 theTribster
theTribster's picture

Yep, that's right. Its amazing how, once again, the Germans will be the lynch pin to the future of Europe, albeit in the context of the EU and debt but nonetheless. I think this might be the week for things to explode, if not this week we are certainly close. I opened some short positions on Euro bonds and a couple Spainish banks. I don't think it will take more than Spain to force Germany into this position, Italy is just icing on the cake. The Merkozy team is done in a couple months once Hollande takes over. We'll get to see the nonsensical commitments from Italy, Greece and others to "bail out" Spain - too funny! This type of event (recognized Spainish crash) should provide enough contagion to bring down Japan as well. After that, I think we can guess what's coming.

I was thinking earlier today that we might be closer to the end than I thought, things could go completely crazy next week. Amazing times we are living in, huh?

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 15:52 | 2342608 V in PA
V in PA's picture

I'll believe the European economy is on the brink of collapse when the distraction of bombing Iran starts, and not one second sooner.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 15:53 | 2342616 navy62802
navy62802's picture

touche

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 18:33 | 2342900 Seer
Seer's picture

Reichstag fire II (or similar "terrorist" activities)

Sat, 04/14/2012 - 02:22 | 2343454 malek
malek's picture

No. III maybe, we already had II in 2001...

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 17:28 | 2342785 valley chick
valley chick's picture

You mean no more drama?  No more plans of plans and then more summits? 

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 15:36 | 2342567 suckerfishzilla
suckerfishzilla's picture

The least dirty shirt in the laundry is Silver...beetchez.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 15:36 | 2342568 Frank N. Beans
Frank N. Beans's picture

Correct!

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 15:44 | 2342582 Mercury
Mercury's picture

Abbott and Costello couldn't have put it better.

Although, this ain't no baseball game...

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 19:02 | 2342952 Seer
Seer's picture

"Although, this ain't no baseball game..."

Seems arguable given that there seems to be more than a fair share of FOULS and STRIKES...

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 15:43 | 2342583 Dre4dwolf
Dre4dwolf's picture

I have the solution.

The world creates a new country in the middle of the ocrean, we elect Obama as president.

Obama hires Ben Bernanke as Central Banker of "atlantis" and Atlantis prints 100,000,000,000,000,000,0000,000,000,000 Atlantian Dollars, which they then use to bail out every nation simultaniously.

Atlantis is then sunk, and since the creditor is now a dead entity, there is no obligation to pay back the funds.

 

Its really quite a brilliant solution ;)

 

Your welcome.

 

 

PS: O wait, they already did that.... its called the world bank / Imf.... a buidling in the middle of the ocean with zero money, no printing presses and no natural resources of any kind, but somehow a few dozen people on a floating imaginary island have the ability to bail out whatever country they want!

Sure the money is fake, and that the act of them lending the funny money is not an equitable exchange (debt enslavement to an entity that doesnt have any money to lend you in the first place)..... but hey...

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 15:48 | 2342597 tiwimon
tiwimon's picture

It is indeed brilliant, but what about all those Atlantian Bondholders? And we must not forget to tax those faux Atlantian citizens, (gotta bleed them, imaginary or not) and what of the TBTF banks, I mean, you really think the Bank of StarGate Atlantis, which is TBTF, will not take down others? And what of the 1 Quadrillion in CDS that was instantly materialized by GS and the rest before Atlantis even rose to be??

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 20:05 | 2343027 Dre4dwolf
Dre4dwolf's picture

we can have fictional bond holders, you know like another too big to fail bank, it can be owned and operated by the atlantian government.... this way the losses are socialized amongst the fictional tax payers. . . . kinda how the losses are socialized in america... and put onto fictional social security numbered persons, for example in America, each tax payer has an SSN , the "tax payer" is not a real person, its just a legal fiction, thats why your name is always in All-CAPS because its not really you.... its the dead entity/fictional you... you are operating a puppet.... and that puppet is your name in all CAPS.... look on your bank statements/cc bills/licesnes... etc... ALL CAPS its fake.

No one losses a thing.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 15:47 | 2342600 1100-TACTICAL-12
1100-TACTICAL-12's picture

Might just work ....

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 18:03 | 2342834 Shit Floats to ...
Shit Floats to the Top's picture

I believe  there's a country just as you've discribed ripe for the picking.  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Principality_of_Sealand

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 20:09 | 2343033 Seer
Seer's picture

A LONG time ago I hypothesized that the Fed was actually the entity that you're describing.  The Fed will be like the Black Hole that swallows up everything (bad "assets") and then implodes.  US can then say -Fed? huh? it's NOT the US govt, WE'RE (US govt) not responsible!

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