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Friday Humor - This Is Europe!

Tyler Durden's picture


Poor Xerxes was born 2500 years too early.

h/t John Lohman


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Fri, 01/20/2012 - 17:28 | 2082420 Hugh G Rection
Hugh G Rection's picture

I like my women like my Italian cruises... wet, wrecked, and ready to go down.

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 17:33 | 2082441 spiral_eyes
spiral_eyes's picture

Apparently some Jews would like Obama wet, wrecked, and ready to go down.

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 17:41 | 2082447 Hugh G Rection
Hugh G Rection's picture

Obama better watch his ass. The Zionists have a lot of experience with assassinations.  The only question is which Palestinian would they blame it on?


I can't believe how brazen they are.  Wolfowitz and Zakheim call the 9/11 attacks a year early, and now this?

“Three, give the go-ahead for U.S.-based Mossad agents to take out a president deemed unfriendly to Israel in order for the current vice president to take his place, and forcefully dictate that the United States’ policy includes its helping the Jewish state obliterate its enemies.”

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 17:49 | 2082486 Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

It only took Der Spiegel 3 days to come up with a cartoon based on my exact same thoughts:

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 17:58 | 2082522 trav7777
trav7777's picture

based on your thoughts?  must've been an empty page

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 18:06 | 2082543 Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

But ain't it Trav, the certified moron with his IQ of 77.
Trav who believes in the tooth fairy, peak oil, hope and change, ethnic cleansing, and worthless fiat over silver.
When TSHTF, scumbags like you will "dance in the air".

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 18:08 | 2082558 Hugh G Rection
Hugh G Rection's picture

This 18 seconds will change your life.

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 20:13 | 2082873 smore
smore's picture

This will change your life too:

Well, maybe not, but it is funny!

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 22:28 | 2083206 Calmyourself
Calmyourself's picture

I propose smore gets first billing in all new threads.. huzza..

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 22:30 | 2083213 Captain Kink
Captain Kink's picture

yeah, how's about a link to that vid?  damn.

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 23:14 | 2083268 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Ships going down. Nations going down.

And all guy's can think about is Going Down!



Sat, 01/21/2012 - 05:34 | 2083734 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Speedy had a nice set of avatars, too! :>D

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 19:31 | 2082774 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

You include peak oil with the tooth fairy, but it will take pixie dust to replace light sweet crude as an energy source to mitigate the problem of the current rate of depletion.

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 19:48 | 2082817 AccreditedEYE
AccreditedEYE's picture

Amen brother.

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 23:15 | 2083269 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Well, actually a simple flip on the current concept set that collectively goes by the name of engineerng will do too Mr. LH.

A wholesale busting of false paradigms and the breaking of the headlock that OIL has us in.



Fri, 01/20/2012 - 19:47 | 2082815 centerline
centerline's picture

Peak oil is something you ought to pay attention to.  It is what this whole global freakshow is all about.  Industrail age is about to slam into the reality of finite resources and a popluation boom that makes bacterial growth blush.  Shit dude, the military has been working on this problem for decades.

Sat, 01/21/2012 - 12:26 | 2084122 Kayman
Kayman's picture

So long as Obama outlaws pipelines, you will get your "peak" oil sooner rather than later.  With horizontal drilling becoming perfected, there is at least another generation or two, of easy oil.

But if it can't be connected to a pipe, then Obama's pal Buffet is the one to reap the benefits of higher cost of distribution.


Fri, 01/20/2012 - 21:54 | 2083125 Buck Johnson
Buck Johnson's picture

The rest of the EU knows that if Germany leaves the whole EU is done.  Germany wants to leave and leave now before it gets to expensive.  The rest of the EU don't want them to because to much of their economy is tied up in the make believe finance of the Euro and the bonds and loans bought by that currency.  If the Euro goes down, then overnight many of these countries go into a very hard depression along with severe inflation if not hyperinflation.

Sun, 01/22/2012 - 07:28 | 2086153 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

You are 100% correct, IMHO, except in one small detail: "Germany wants to leave and leave now before it gets to expensive". Wants? This is what the British Media (and per reflection the Anglosphere) is ceaslessly repeating. With all means. Germany is FAR from "wanting", at this stage. They might, in future, but there is no "want", yet.

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 18:06 | 2082548 economics1996
economics1996's picture

The Yids assiasinated the last gold standard president McKinley.

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 19:58 | 2082847 smore
smore's picture

Get your facts straight, idiot.

Czolgosz was born in Alpena, Michigan[4] in 1873, one of eight children (six sons and two daughters)[5] of Mary (née Nowak) and Paul Czolgosz, Polish Catholic immigrants from Prussia.[2][6]

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 21:55 | 2083127 economics1996
economics1996's picture

ON SEPTEMBER 6 1901, a 28 year old Polish Jew, Leon Czolgosz, walked into the Pan-American Exposition in Buffalo NY where McKinley was speaking and shot McKinley twice in the abdomen at point blank range. McKinley died a week later and “Teddy” Roosevelt was sworn in as President, much to the delight of the NY Jews.

Prior to the assassination, Leon Czolgosz had fallen in with Emma Goldman’s Jewish anarchist crowd at Sach’s Cafe on Suffolk Street, their headquarters in New York City’s Lower East Side. (NYC’s Lower East Side was where Trotsky, owing to Jacob Schiff’s financial support, had recruited many communist Jews to travel with him to Russia to incite the October Revolution of 1917.)

Emma Goldman’s crowd had broken away from main-line socialists who were “under the eye of a paternal government.” Instead, Goldman’s crowd preached that social change could only be achieved through violence and assassinations. They preached that capitalists would never change on their own volition. Thus it was here at Sach’s Cafe that the assassination plot against President McKinley, a “capitalist,” was hatched.

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 22:41 | 2083231 Gully Foyle
Gully Foyle's picture


On September 6, 1901, Leon Czolgosz, an unemployed factory worker and registered Republican with a history of mental illness, shot US President William McKinley twice during a public speaking event in Buffalo, New York. McKinley was hit in the breastbone and stomach, and died eight days later.[58] Czolgosz was arrested, and interrogated around the clock. During interrogation he claimed to be an Anarchist and said he had been inspired to act after attending a speech held by Goldman. The authorities used this as a pretext to charge Goldman with planning McKinley's assassination. They tracked her to a residence in Chicago she shared with Havel, as well as Abe and Mary Isaak, an anarchist couple.[59][60] Goldman was arrested, along with Abe Isaak, Havel, and ten other anarchists.[61]

Earlier, Czolgosz had tried but failed to become friends with Goldman and her companions. During a talk in Cleveland, Czolgosz had approached Goldman and asked her advice on which books he should read. In July 1901, he had appeared at the Isaak house, asking a series of unusual questions. They assumed he was an infiltrator, like a number of police agents sent to spy on radical groups. They had remained distant from him, and Abe Isaak sent a notice to associates warning of "another spy".[62]

Although Czolgosz repeatedly denied Goldman's involvement, the police held her in close custody, subjecting her to what she called the "third degree".[63] She explained their distrust of him, and it was clear she had not had any significant contact with Czolgosz. No evidence was found linking Goldman to the attack, and she was eventually released after two weeks of detention. Before McKinley died, Goldman offered to provide nursing care, referring to him as "merely a human being".[64] Czolgosz, despite considerable evidence of mental illness, was convicted of murder and executed.[65]

Throughout her detention and after her release, Goldman steadfastly refused to condemn Czolgosz's actions, standing virtually alone in doing so. Friends and supporters—including Berkman—urged her to quit his cause. But Goldman defended Czolgosz as a "supersensitive being"[66] and chastised other anarchists for abandoning him.[66] She was vilified in the press as the "high priestess of anarchy",[67] while many newspapers declared the anarchist movement responsible for the murder.[68] In the wake of these events, socialism gained support over anarchism among US radicals. McKinley's successor, Theodore Roosevelt, declared his intent to crack down "not only against anarchists, but against all active and passive sympathizers with anarchists".[69]

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 23:50 | 2083311 economics1996
economics1996's picture

Wikipedia is know for its crap standards.

Sat, 01/21/2012 - 12:24 | 2083762 i-dog
i-dog's picture

So, what was your impeccable source? David Irving? LOL

Sat, 01/21/2012 - 12:34 | 2084136 Kayman
Kayman's picture

"with a history of mental illness,"

Always use character assassination without foundation. 

"Another useful idiot" V.Lenin 

Sat, 01/21/2012 - 09:02 | 2083871 Bendromeda Strain
Bendromeda Strain's picture

So because Wikipedia is crap, you feel justified in making an asinine statement about "the Yids" offing McKinley?

Sat, 01/21/2012 - 12:42 | 2084151 Kayman
Kayman's picture

 "Wikipedia is crap"

You said it.  The modern day version of Cliff Notes.  How the hell is someone going to cite sources when the unarmed opponent is citing Wiki ?

It is like saying Einstein's General Theory is e=mc2.  Wow, that was simple.

Sat, 01/21/2012 - 13:55 | 2084345 agent default
agent default's picture

Uh, that's his Special Theory.

Sat, 01/21/2012 - 10:14 | 2083938 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

And you are known for regurgitating ideological homilies.

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 18:19 | 2082586 Likstane
Likstane's picture

Congrats Ah-me-anal, great job on your monster prediction, you giant specimen of overwhelming acumen! Is that what you wanted?

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 19:55 | 2082840 smore
smore's picture

Discordia.png?????  Don't get me fnord started!!!

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 23:00 | 2083254 Ned Zeppelin
Ned Zeppelin's picture

Smore. . .it is difficult to focus on your posts with your friend to the left openly displaying her . . . attributes.

But I'll keep trying.

Sat, 01/21/2012 - 12:55 | 2084188 Kayman
Kayman's picture


That's his sister.

Sat, 01/21/2012 - 14:25 | 2084411 gravedestruction
gravedestruction's picture


Your prognostication of three days ago from this date certainly appears to be correct rather than an ambiguous rant.

Are you aware of what is coming to these shores within the next several years?

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 17:52 | 2082497 CompassionateFascist
CompassionateFascist's picture

Poor Barack Hussein. Caught between Zionist rock and Iranian hardplace. Right where he belongs.

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 17:57 | 2082521 Hugh G Rection
Hugh G Rection's picture

If they get him cornered maybe he'll make a nation-wide address about ZOG, Israeli subversion and Mossad involvement in 9/11 attacks?

I won't hold my breathe.

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 18:08 | 2082556 Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

He can't even string a coherent sentence without the aid of his faithful teleprompter. If he were to voice such ideas, it would be under orders of the vatican.

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 21:30 | 2083054 Hugh G Rection
Hugh G Rection's picture

Thanks DP, hadn't seen this one yet.

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 18:21 | 2082593 Kinskian
Kinskian's picture

Jews still love Obama and will vote for him as enthusiastically as before. He's the product of over 100 years of jewish activism and social criticism. Ron Paul has much more to fear from a Mossad hit squad than Obama. 

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 19:02 | 2082703 Hugh G Rection
Hugh G Rection's picture

Absolutely.  I fear for Ron Paul's safety if the election isn't stolen from him.  He needs to run with an insurance policy, Judge Napo or Jesse the Body.

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 21:22 | 2083038 optimator
optimator's picture

Well he won't be running with Gary Bauer.  Check out this add and be sure to see the very end.

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 21:51 | 2083115 Kinskian
Kinskian's picture

On the other hand Gary Bauer, Ron Paul doesn't believe it's anybody else's business what consenting adults do in the bedroom, least of all the government's.

So if you and other closeted, compromised homosexual "conservatives" like Lindsey Graham enjoy sucking on an occasional big cock, Ron Paul says it's your life and your choice to make. 

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 22:22 | 2083192 Hugh G Rection
Hugh G Rection's picture

What a fuckstain. I was really upset to see the comments had been disabled :-(.


Glad you support the coverup of our nation's worst domestic attack Gary!

Sat, 01/21/2012 - 03:31 | 2083652 boattrash
boattrash's picture

I am ready, willing and able to donate my time to Ron Paul for security detail.

Sat, 01/21/2012 - 05:41 | 2083742 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

I recommend that a detachment of Marines replace ALL presidential Secret Service agents...

Sat, 01/21/2012 - 10:30 | 2083962 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

What would RP have to fear?

He's in no danger of being anywhere near the throne.

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 21:57 | 2083133 BLOTTO
BLOTTO's picture

You are correct Hugh.

44 = no good

Its part of the cycle and its due.

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 22:31 | 2083214 BLOTTO
BLOTTO's picture

"For the present, the next stage in the Illuminati's grand strategy will be something few are expecting, or even think possible. The next world-dominating empire is going to be a Europe forged on the basis of a Berlin-Vatican axis."

The present financial turmoil in Europe is not a disadvantage to Germany. Germany (and the Illuminati) knew when they created the Eurozone that it would lead to a crisis down the road.
You can't yoke the currencies of strong nations like Germany with weak nations like Greece, Ireland, and Portugal, without having economic and political unification.
Germany is using this crisis to bend the other nations of Europe to its will. It will maintain the euro and the Eurozone, but the other nations will have to submit to de facto German control or be forced out. This includes Britain.
And it is forging an alliance with Russia (Medvedev was recently welcomed at the NATO summit). A German-led Europe is turning away from its Anglo-American orientation.
Gaining control of the European Union, Germany is preparing to take over from the declining Anglosphere.
But it needs something more to cement its control of Europe than economic strength and political will. It needs a spiritual and cultural foundation for its coming empire.
The Roman Catholic Church has always seen itself as the successor to the Roman Empire. Its ambitions are imperial as well as spiritual. It laid the foundations of Western civilization in Europe.
Pope Benedict XVI has worked quickly to restore the Church as the spiritual force that will unite Europe, the way it did in the time of Charlemagne.
He has appealed both to traditionalists (e.g., by restoring the Tridentine mass) and to secularists (e.g., by his recent concession with respect to condoms).
He has underlined (in his speech at Regensburg) the contrast of Catholicism and Islam, and he has made room for disaffected Anglicans to join the Catholic Church. He is establishing new ecumenical ties to the Lutheran and Eastern churches.
Despite the recent scandals affecting the Church, Benedict is on the offensive. A German himself, he is working to forge a united Europe, led by Germany, with the Catholic Church as its spiritual head.

 = New Holy Roman Empire

Sat, 01/21/2012 - 06:34 | 2083767 i-dog
i-dog's picture

That has been their plan from the beginning ... but it is rapidly slipping from their grasp.

If only we could get a few states to withdraw from the Euro, or secede from the US Occupied Zone, then we could sink their plan for another century.

Sat, 01/21/2012 - 21:33 | 2085464 Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

They failed last time. But they keep trying.
Even Aleister Crowley knew that nazism was a creation of the vatican.

And as I also mentioned before, the missing link in all this is none other than the Imperial Teutonic Order:

Sat, 01/21/2012 - 22:51 | 2085635 i-dog
i-dog's picture

The kiddiefuckas don't just rely on a single Order -- they start (or co-opt), back and control them all: Knights of Malta, Knights of Columbus, Teutonic Knights, Templars, Pilgrims, Masons, Mormons, RIIA, TC, CFR, CNP, Bilderberg, S&B, EU, etc, etc......

It's the same Hegelian division that they apply in the political arena. Keeps the sheep confused and attempting to pick just one to blame. Very clever!

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 22:39 | 2083227 satan2liberals
satan2liberals's picture

" The only question is which Palestinian would they blame it on?"


That's easy : His wife!

Sat, 01/21/2012 - 05:32 | 2083733 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

By the time Biden figures out what's what, Iran will have nuked TelAviv (if that's what they really want to do...)

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 20:05 | 2082859 smore
smore's picture

Live by the sword, die by the sword?  If anyone in the world DESERVES to die by political assassination, considering the NDAA, it HAS to be Obama.

I can say that because I have escaped from Amerika! Come and get me, bastards!  BRING IT ON!

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 21:28 | 2083051 NumNutt
NumNutt's picture

For some reason I have an incredibly difficult time reading your post......I seem to be to...........a ........trance...........aaahhhh.......silicone......

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 21:34 | 2083066 smore
smore's picture

I feel you, NumNutt :)   Better now?

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 21:59 | 2083138 economics1996
economics1996's picture

What a prick you are.  Fuck off.

Sat, 01/21/2012 - 05:43 | 2083745 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

If that's who I think it is, that is NOT silicone! wide! :>D

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 22:00 | 2083142 BLOTTO
BLOTTO's picture

Sat, 01/21/2012 - 03:17 | 2083636 AnAnonymous
AnAnonymous's picture

Apparently some Jews would like Obama wet, wrecked, and ready to go down.


Made me laugh.

Good example of US citizenism freedom of speech.

Do the same on YT when a kid and you get the honours of TV shows shouting how much a disgrace it is and reminding that this type of argumentation is a crime.

The US looks more and more like those guys who invest so many on their appearance. When the resources dry up, well, you can see them as they are.

It is no surprise that as the resources US citizens are used to plunder are dwindling, suddenly, the true face of US citizenism is showing up in a way US propagandists can not hide.

US world order.

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 17:30 | 2082433 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture


Fri, 01/20/2012 - 17:32 | 2082436 ZippyBananaPants
ZippyBananaPants's picture

Is he trying to fart?

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 17:55 | 2082510 Alex Kintner
Alex Kintner's picture

Thish iz Farta!!

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 18:08 | 2082557 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

he does so in your general direction...

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 19:11 | 2082722 eatthebanksters
eatthebanksters's picture

...I empty my nose on you!   (Monte Python)

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 17:36 | 2082448 HedgeAccordingly
Fri, 01/20/2012 - 18:16 | 2082581 malek
malek's picture

Reminds me more of Snape in AVPM...

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 18:57 | 2082604 Goldilocks
Goldilocks's picture

300 give them nothing (0:10)

Sat, 01/21/2012 - 19:37 | 2082735 Goldilocks
Goldilocks's picture

extraordinary dance moves...


MC Hammer - U Can't Touch This  (4:38)

The Black Eyed Peas - Hey Mama  (3:56)

Sat, 01/21/2012 - 01:31 | 2083454 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture



Fri, 01/20/2012 - 17:32 | 2082437 falak pema
falak pema's picture

is that Salamis? Themistocles leaving the ship!

But, but, but; that's not Themis...that's...OMG!

I want my money back, I want my money back! Like Lady T ! 

You've rewritten history!

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 17:35 | 2082443 falak pema
falak pema's picture

WHO DAT BE WB7? He have nice beard. Looks Iranian.

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 17:42 | 2082470 Cash_is_Trash
Cash_is_Trash's picture

Dat b Leonidaz

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 17:48 | 2082489 falak pema
falak pema's picture

Hmmm, he got shaved at Thermoplyae! head n all! Dat be no good for anybody but Gilette!

What be their song : Masculine perfection! ya baby. 

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 17:39 | 2082455 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

I've steered clear of this subject out of respect for the misery of the families with loved ones missing. I guess it's open season now.

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 17:49 | 2082493 Strut
Strut's picture

Its never "Too Soon", as long as its genuinely funny.

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 19:46 | 2082813 subqtaneous
subqtaneous's picture

Great first date line.

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 17:51 | 2082498 Sweet Chicken
Sweet Chicken's picture

Comedy ain't pretty. You of all people should know this! ;)

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 19:48 | 2082818 Rainman
Rainman's picture

yes...dying is easy, comedy is hard.

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 18:01 | 2082532 Amish Hacker
Amish Hacker's picture

William, The Onion published a week after 9/11. The headline was, "Holy Fucking Shit!"

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 18:13 | 2082574 pakled
pakled's picture

but they should have had u attach her head to that body. sloppy work!

Sat, 01/21/2012 - 01:05 | 2083418 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Yes, a bit rough. But i give them an A for effort. The way to deal with it is to get another image of a woman rowing a boat and drawing a twisting neck.

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 18:42 | 2082644 Nozza
Nozza's picture

WB7 I, for one, think you have been sensistive. And right. Just because it's open season doesn't mean you gotta join in... There's freedom, freedom of the press, freedom of expression, freedom of thought, freedom of choice. If something inside you thinks summat aint right then go with the gut. There''s time to laugh and chuckle a-plenty in times ahead (maybe), but for goodness sake, just stick with what YOU think is right. And you will always be right.


Anyway, keep 'em coming. Some of us really love your art.



Sat, 01/21/2012 - 01:09 | 2083423 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

I'm not passing judgement on it. It's funny.

I have been following that story very carefuly because I grew up on boats. I did this, but as you can see I am focused on that shitbag Captain...


Sat, 01/21/2012 - 01:32 | 2083462 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

I see this reported today, but I did this 4 days ago ;-)


The Mirror: Costa Concordia skipper Francesco Schettino was a self-confessed playboy who strutted round the ship with stunning women on his arm, his crew claimed last night.

They said he treated the £390million cruise liner as if it was his own personal super-yacht and hosted lavish dinners for glamorous guests at his table.

Sat, 01/21/2012 - 05:48 | 2083750 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

The guy behind the good Captain looks like he's gonna tase him! :>D

Sat, 01/21/2012 - 14:43 | 2084451 gravedestruction
gravedestruction's picture


Your humor shows an obvious respect for the dead as well as disdain for the "rulers of fools" that walk among the living (at least for the present time)


As the angel of death has said:

"Perish the thought that you should allow any of your perishables to perish!"

All work and no play make God's angels dull fellows.

They certainly are far from dull to say the least.

I can assure you of that aspect...


Fri, 01/20/2012 - 19:19 | 2082743 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Yes, open season on the "captain".

Here's a man who is not only an awful captain and navigator but an awful liar. And of course, a coward. It seems we are discovering an abundance of these types of people in positions of high responsibility lately.

Sat, 01/21/2012 - 01:23 | 2083447 JLee2027
JLee2027's picture

Appears to be a consequence of a lack of morality in the culture coupled with endless greed brought about by fiat money. Crap rises to the top.

There will be many reprisals after the collapse I fear.

Sat, 01/21/2012 - 03:45 | 2083670 boattrash
boattrash's picture

Always has been, always will be. Some people run TO a crisis, some run FROM a crisis, but most just stand in one spot and do the "squirrel". As I often post, people should come to terms with their own mortality, or head on back to their plastic bubbles.

Sat, 01/21/2012 - 09:11 | 2083879 nmewn
nmewn's picture

"Some people run TO a crisis, some run FROM a crisis..."

Exactly right. This is what separates the real leader from a follower. You see it everyday in many things.

A simple car accident will have at least twice the people standing around watching than over at the accident scene helping out before the police & paramedics arrive. Of course, ten fold squirrels will have passed by the time professional help arrives...probably searching for their nuts ;-)

Sun, 01/22/2012 - 17:06 | 2086970 Miles Kendig
Miles Kendig's picture

IF they ever get past examining the lint their navels produce

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 17:47 | 2082467 Mercury
Mercury's picture

I still don't understand what happened with this stupid cruise ship story. If you run aground -by definition- you're not going to sink.

I mean, depending on the conditions the boat could break up on the rocks etc. but that was hardly the case here.

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 18:12 | 2082572 Schmuck Raker
Schmuck Raker's picture

Underwater topography is as varied as what you find above. You may visualize a boat running into a beach, but the top of an underwater 'spire' a mere 10 feet below the surface may be surrounded by 100-200+ feet of water, even at a shoreline.

Sat, 01/21/2012 - 01:13 | 2083429 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Yes, there are many parts of the Mediteranian Coast that drop off very fast, particularly on offshore Islands.

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 17:49 | 2082491 anarchitect
anarchitect's picture

I'd have translated cazzo as you prick, not for fuck's sake.

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 18:12 | 2082563 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

you are correct... CAZZO is "dick"...

I lived in Italy for 12 years... The first thing you learn is how to cuss...

But it's really kind of irrelevant... An Italian would say "Che Cazzo" (literally translated as "What the dick?)... But it is basically employed to mean WTF?

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 18:20 | 2082588 bombimbom
bombimbom's picture

no, he is not. "cazzo is never directed towards a person (except if you say testa di cazzo), it is impersonal.

you are correct on the "che cazzo/cosa cazzo" as you know when english speaking people use "fuck/fucking" italians use "cazzo".

che cazzo dici? dove cazzo vai? quando cazzo torni? come cazzo fate a sparare tutte queste cazzate in questo cazzo di sito?

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 19:29 | 2082769 X. Kurt OSis
X. Kurt OSis's picture


Fri, 01/20/2012 - 19:35 | 2082776 ArgentoFisico
ArgentoFisico's picture


That is dick in sicilian.. curious it's a female word ... but you speak english, what do you know... you barbarians

Sat, 01/21/2012 - 10:36 | 2083970 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

What's your fucking problem? ;)

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 21:02 | 2082981 anarchitect
anarchitect's picture

A big thanks to all those who chimed in on this.  Very educational!

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 18:10 | 2082566 bombimbom
bombimbom's picture

cazzo is "fvck!", you hit a rock with your head and you're not exactly happy about it you say "cazzo!", "you prick" would be cazzone or coglione.

now thanks to this quick course on italian bad language no more unkind opinions on EU for at least half a day.

praised be holy monty!


Fri, 01/20/2012 - 18:23 | 2082601 bombimbom
bombimbom's picture

WTF... che cazzo... the only time I actually know what I am saying I get those cazzo red arrows!!

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 19:01 | 2082665 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

cazzone = BIG DICK

coione = BALL SACK

look - I realize that it's mostly used impersonal... CAZZO SE DICE (WTF are you saying?, etc.)... But I've heard it used personal as well (though I'll admit that more often than not, something like "pipa", will be used to describe someone's prick)... As you well know... Italia is full of dialects... different areas may use different expressions... So I'll call a truce...

BTW... for those with troubles in anunciation...

CAZZO SE DICE would be pronounced more or less as "KHAT-zo seh DEE-shay" (and even that would depend on if you were speaking proper Italian or some dialect)... Disclosure: I mostly hung around the "proles" & the contandini (farmers), so you know where my bias is...


Fri, 01/20/2012 - 19:03 | 2082706 bombimbom
bombimbom's picture

correct. but you can say to a person "tu sei un cazzone" and you mean that he is someone who does or says foolish things, with a friendly twist. you're generally not really insulting.

if you say "tu (non) sei un cazzo" you're saying he/she is nothing.

coglione can be a real insult and it is used exactly when you would say "you prick".


Fri, 01/20/2012 - 19:15 | 2082731 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Here's the thing... Mind you that we are arguing nuances here that are delicate and "quasi imperceptible" to those who don't speak the language...

But here's the GIST... The cartoon said "Vada a bordo, CAZZO"... Basically, "occam's razor"... "Get back on board... COMMA... Cazzo"... Anyone making an emotional utterance like that was probably basically saying... "Get back on board, Goddamit"... or, "Get back on board for fuck's sake"... NOT saying... "Get back on board... DICK"...

In that sense... your interpretation is probably more aligned with what was intended...

Though CAZZO... is still a word that I alwats tended to associate with DICK...

- as VA FANCIULLO was more aligned with fuck

as DIO CANE was more aligned with "Goddammit" (though it is EXTREMELY rare to hear an Italian utter DIO CANE (God Dawg)...

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 19:36 | 2082763 ArgentoFisico
ArgentoFisico's picture

Did you stay near Venice? Dio Can!

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 19:40 | 2082795 bombimbom
bombimbom's picture

cazzo = dick. you are absolutely correct on the literal meaning. but when you use it as a curse it is impersonal.

the last one you wrote is a blasphemy. I won't go that route. :) there are many of them, someone really elaborate, almost artistical. I am not really religious, quite agnostic, but i personally tend not to direct my anger towards divinities or saints.

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 19:59 | 2082805 ArgentoFisico
ArgentoFisico's picture

One never knows ....

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 06:04 | 2088054 luigi
luigi's picture

People from Tuscany are the real artist of blasphemy: some tuscanian rants deserved being graved in stones for posterity...

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 19:47 | 2082806 X. Kurt OSis
X. Kurt OSis's picture

No, no. Va fa in cuolo would loosely translate to: shove something unpleasant up your rectum.

'Va far'ti fottere' would translate to: go have intercourse with yourself.

My personal favorite: Non me rompere le scattole. Literally, 'don't break my boxes.

Now, put it all together.

Va fan'in a cuolo, a tutti! Disgraziati! Cazzo di mincchia... Sta mincchioni. Fa far'ti fottere e la mama, papa, tutta la familia e tutti la raze tuoi!!!!!

Translation? 'Go fuck yourselves in your asses, all of you! Disgraces all of you. Fuck, fuck, fuck you all (in a series mutters). Go fuck yourself, your mother, your father and your entire family and your entire race.'

Pure Sicilian poetry.

EDIT: I forgot that there is a lot of spitting along the way, there.

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 19:55 | 2082839 ArgentoFisico
ArgentoFisico's picture

You got it perfectly!

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 20:01 | 2082853 X. Kurt OSis
X. Kurt OSis's picture

What I've never understood is Pugliesi. In Bari, the curse the dead instead of the normal italian rants.

It's always: Chi te morte. Di 'stra morte. I mortaci tuoi!!

P.S. Between my family and my wife's family, I get cursed at a lot.

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 20:05 | 2082857 ArgentoFisico
ArgentoFisico's picture

That's tipically Roman dialect: "all'anima de li mortacci tua!" (for the soul of your fuckin parents, grandparent, grandgrandparents's sake!)

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 20:13 | 2082872 X. Kurt OSis
X. Kurt OSis's picture

That is a keeper.

Still, those fuckin baresi weave the word 'morte' into every sentence. It sounds like a speech impediment. That said, the rest of barese sounds like chinese to me. Good fish. Weird people.

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 20:31 | 2082902 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

GREAT fish... GOOD weird people... Fixed it... & yes that was a PERFECT Sicilian rant (which would basically work in Bayone, NY as well)...

FWIW... The dialect I understand most is "Perugino"...

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 20:06 | 2082860 bombimbom
bombimbom's picture

I perceive you're dying to hear some sicilian "vaffanculo".

there are other curses too, let's see if you can spot them.

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 19:55 | 2082732 ArgentoFisico
ArgentoFisico's picture

uot ze fak iu sein? ai du not anderstend e uord!


cazzo = dik (ue use it et zi end of quait eny sentens, laik to sei "a'm e strong man! ai meik maiself respectid")

figa = pussi

gran figona = superpussi!

che cazzo fai ?! = uot ze fak iu duin?!

che cazzo vuoi ?! = uot ze fak d'iu wont?!

dove cazzo vai? = uear ze fak iu goin?!

'sto cazzo di euro! = zis fakkin iuro!

vaffanculo (or 'fanculo) = va te fair enculè = go get fakd in ior ess

culo = ess

cazzone = stiupid damb bastard

coglioni = ze bols iu'r so praud of

coglione = aidiot, stiupid gai (gai as in guy)

ziroedg = ZH

Mario Monti = Goldman sucks

ciao ciao = bye bye


Fri, 01/20/2012 - 20:26 | 2082891 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

'sto cazzo di euro! = zis fakkin iuro!

In the USA it's... "ZIS FAKKIN DOLLARO"!


&... as a Juventino may chant... We point an arm at the EU "Supercommittee" (as well as our own Congress)... and say...

"Undieci, Undieci, Undieci coglioni, vuoi siete undieci coglioni!" :-)

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 21:08 | 2082993 gravedestruction
gravedestruction's picture

"ziroedg = ZH"

How do you say "biachez" in this wonderful venue?

(BTW biach is very inflammatory in the Russian "thieves world")

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 19:25 | 2082756 bombimbom
bombimbom's picture

generally pippa means masturbation (but it's true that in some dialects it means dick) and I guess that when you heard "tu sei una pippa" (you are of no value) it was meant that way, just like "tu sei una sega".

and now you know why Pippa Middleton brings a smile to all italians. :)

p.s. you can add minchione to the list of good translations for "you prick"

p.p.s. you are also correct that there's too many dialects to know all of them.


Fri, 01/20/2012 - 20:19 | 2082885 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

"tu sei una sega".

if you want to go there we could then go on to SEGONE... (or, bukkake, not necessarily literally, because it could, in effect, just represent a Peter North, or different variation of Rocco Siffredi)...

At this point, in this thread... I think we've thusly arrived...


Fri, 01/20/2012 - 18:24 | 2082596 Silver Pullet
Silver Pullet's picture

Strange... babelfish translates it as "I haul". WTF?

"vada a bordo, cazzo" = "it goes to edge, I haul"

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 17:52 | 2082500 I think I need ...
I think I need to buy a gun's picture

How does one become president and ceo of a local federal reserve? For example the Dallas Federal Reserve or the San Francisco Federal Reserve? Is this a closed group? Are they all from harvard or goldman sachs? How does one enter this group is it like politics? The chair benocide must be voted in and approved how do the others get their jobs?

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 17:56 | 2082515 CompassionateFascist
CompassionateFascist's picture

Send email to Herm Cain. As him.

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 19:54 | 2082837 Blano
Blano's picture

Acks him.

There, fixed it fer ya.

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 18:12 | 2082567 economics1996
economics1996's picture


The requirements seem to be that you should be a Jew, minority, or a liberal gentile with a shit load of money to impress the Yids with.  Education doesn’t seem to have much to do with the job.


Fri, 01/20/2012 - 17:54 | 2082506 Misean
Misean's picture

Well, Themistocles did sail the fleet away from Thermopylae after the sea battle with the Persians turned against him.


Fri, 01/20/2012 - 18:24 | 2082605 navy62802
navy62802's picture

Haha. That's AWESOME!!! At least they have a sense of humor.

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 18:35 | 2082627 knukles
knukles's picture



Somebody's planning to loan these people money?

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 18:57 | 2082679 BlackholeDivestment
BlackholeDivestment's picture

...yes, and like what Rosemary's Baby just did, in his ''zero interest'' Disney World, Tzarcozy will be there, at Napoleonland, talking about jobs. LMAO!!! 


Fri, 01/20/2012 - 19:22 | 2082748 Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

Napoleon, the monster who sent his troops to death in the cold Russian front.
Napoleon, the first antichrist according to Nostradamus (Hitler being the second).
Napoleon, defeated by the proud people of Haiti (second country in the Americas to gain independence from the eurogenocidal oligarchs).

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 20:12 | 2082871 The Fonz...befo...
The Fonz...before shark jump's picture

3rd anti Christ "MABUS" is actually a span of period after 9/11 to the end of Bama term

Bush Obama MABUS

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 21:25 | 2083043 gravedestruction
gravedestruction's picture

"Napoleon, defeated by the proud people of Haiti"

Didn't the Haitians make a pact with the shaman in their uprising with the French?

Napoleon's army was defeated by the Haitian mosquitoes and the ensuing malaria that decimated them into retreating. Having no more sugar cane to export and no use for the port of New Orleans after the defeat at Haiti Napoleon then sold the Louisiana territories to an adept Thomas Jefferson who promptly purchased them.

"(Hitler being the second)" repeated Napoleon's folly in his ww2 invasion of Russia.

Both events that were to this nation's (and others) benefit.


Sat, 01/21/2012 - 03:07 | 2083627 AnAnonymous
AnAnonymous's picture

Yep, and Napoleon's troops in Russia were defeated by frostbite.

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 22:09 | 2083168 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

The third anti Christ is in the office now.

Sat, 01/21/2012 - 00:07 | 2083340 Dirt Rat
Dirt Rat's picture

And I gues you weren't a fan of Napoleon's Grand Sanhedrin?

Sat, 01/21/2012 - 14:56 | 2084493 gravedestruction
gravedestruction's picture

The final version walks this earth today.

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 18:58 | 2082691 falak pema
falak pema's picture

Not a bad idea, resuscitating Napoleon's ghost to entertain the dejected french through the depression with tales of past glory. As he lost it makes it all the more romantic. He's now legend, not reality. I think thats the idea. Instead of crazy rides on Disney roller coaster we'll have crazy cavalry charges on french 3d screens cum reality simulators. Some Nintendo or playstation new fangled interactive, heeby jeeby, blood and glory, reenactment of battles; with you centre piece, getting hacked at by Prussians hussards and Russian cossacks. Tally ho and charge, on those red coats!

Anyways, the french will have to learn what a market economy is all about. No more state monopolies, and statist over-regulation. Global markets have put that illusion to rest. 

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 20:01 | 2082852 ArgentoFisico
ArgentoFisico's picture

Yes. We will lend money to ourself.. and everything's gonna be all right!

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 21:27 | 2083049 gravedestruction
gravedestruction's picture

Let them eat money...

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 22:12 | 2083172 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

You can't eat gold.

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 22:36 | 2083224 Captain Kink
Captain Kink's picture

or iPads

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 23:42 | 2083296 Smiley
Smiley's picture

Or Air Jordans.

Sat, 01/21/2012 - 14:58 | 2084498 gravedestruction
gravedestruction's picture

Let them eat duck...

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 18:46 | 2082653 non_anon
non_anon's picture

a ghost did it

Accused Abuser Claimed "Ghost" Injured His Wife

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 21:28 | 2083052 gravedestruction
gravedestruction's picture

Was it a friendly ghost?

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