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Friday Humor: Keynesianism For Kretins

Tyler Durden's picture


Because a broken picture is worth a thousand Econ PhD essays

(h/t Simon Black at Sovereign Man Blog)


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Fri, 07/20/2012 - 16:49 | 2637709 JeremyWS
JeremyWS's picture


Fri, 07/20/2012 - 16:57 | 2637726 Precious
Precious's picture

Keynes - Paedophile and fraudster extraordinaire.

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 17:06 | 2637759 battle axe
battle axe's picture

And if you break the glass and sweep it up, the government will send you a check.

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 17:11 | 2637771 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

A more appropriate picture would show thousands of tiny spoons n brooms, so that more could be employed.

The broken window fallacy:

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 18:28 | 2637892 Manthong
Manthong's picture

But this solution is way less destructive than anything Obama has implemented.

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 18:45 | 2637929 strannick
strannick's picture

And if you cut yourself cleaning up the glass, you can get Workers Compensation

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 19:37 | 2638005 nmewn
nmewn's picture

And then disability.

"They" built that!!!

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 23:41 | 2638324 AldousHuxley
AldousHuxley's picture

In today's America, Chinese made sweeper from Walmart will fall apart when you try to use it, so you have to drive to a box store in a 15mpg SUV, park your car in the handicap spot because you are morbidly obese and that makes you "disabled"

then proceed to spend 15minutes searching and finally checking out another sweeper, then you stop by home depot parking lot to hire illegal immigrant to sweep up broken glass so that you can watch some NBC bullshit drama about some olympic athlete's family history with annoying commentary about how Trampoline somehow became an Olympic sport.

And then you lecture your illegal immigrant sweeper guy about stuff you read on zero hedge, and if he nods you give him extra dollar and you put a picture of the new sweeper on facebook so that every bored housewife in the world can read about it.

Sat, 07/21/2012 - 08:21 | 2638582 General Decline
General Decline's picture

15 mpg in an SUV???  That's awesome!

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 19:47 | 2638025 Sockeye
Sockeye's picture


Fri, 07/20/2012 - 21:54 | 2638217 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

This also employs bandaid makers, doctors and nurses.

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 17:07 | 2637763 SheepRevolution
SheepRevolution's picture

0% unemployment, here we come!

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 21:14 | 2638169 strannick
strannick's picture

In the USSR everyone had a job! They would say 'we pretend to work, and they pretend to pay us'.

Sat, 07/21/2012 - 18:29 | 2639353 Totentänzerlied
Totentänzerlied's picture

Humor appreciated, but the homeless/jobless underground society of the USSR in its later years is a fascinating subject.

Sat, 07/21/2012 - 00:26 | 2638360 Socialized Losses
Socialized Losses's picture

You can't be unemployed.  We stopped counting you months ago.



Sat, 07/21/2012 - 05:28 | 2638505 AldousHuxley
AldousHuxley's picture

or you can be like germay and don't count those who are receiving state money for retraining.


or you can be like the military and make it "honorable" to be unemployed......when you get laid off from the military they call it "honorably discharged" which means they are done kiling for now, so you got laid off.


but hungry people don't stay unemployed.....

so do smart young kids with phD in neuroscience become unemployed in Colorado......

Sat, 07/21/2012 - 07:56 | 2638572 Race Car Driver
Race Car Driver's picture

You make aome valid points, but I had to junk ya. The shit in CO was a psyop - it wasn't real (in the sense that a single unemployed 24yo put that whole show together by himself). 

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 19:28 | 2637985 TWSceptic
TWSceptic's picture

Interesting, but Conservapedia is a very subjective neocon site with a lot of misinformation. If you are a fiscally conservative libertarian, stay far away (or at least be very skeptical).

Sat, 07/21/2012 - 11:15 | 2638760 dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

here's more, and the comments are even more interesting


Sat, 07/21/2012 - 10:28 | 2638659 hivekiller
hivekiller's picture

Old President BO is a queer as well. His family is just a front to make him acceptable. He and the Israeli terrorist/mayor of Chicago Rahm Israel Emanuel were both members of a gay bathhouse in Chicago. He's a fitting follower to George Bush Jr. who also likes getting it up the ass and who only married for the sake of convention.

Sat, 07/21/2012 - 11:17 | 2638767 dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

they do like putting people that are subject to being controlled into places of power - what better than pure bottoms that have a need to be lead and who avoid direct responsibility

Sat, 07/21/2012 - 05:03 | 2638497 Anne Ominous
Anne Ominous's picture

A sweeping generalisation of more pane to come...

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 16:49 | 2637711 FOC 1183
FOC 1183's picture

then stick broken glass up Krugman's ass

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 17:08 | 2637765 SheepRevolution
SheepRevolution's picture

So Krugman CAN create shovel-ready jobs after all!

Sat, 07/21/2012 - 11:18 | 2638768 dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

who shoveled that rag onto his head?

Sat, 07/21/2012 - 00:04 | 2638343 Itch
Itch's picture

What does it say in the Austrian box? ..."In case of hunger, break glass and eat gold".

Sat, 07/21/2012 - 05:07 | 2638499 Steve in Greensboro
Steve in Greensboro's picture

In the Austrian box, it says "in case of recession, leave the free market alone and stop inflating the currency."

The current recession was initiated by money-printing by the Fed which created the real estate and equity bubbles that burst in 2007-2008. The Great Depression was also the result of the then newly created Fed printing money.

And like the Great Depression, the current recession has been greatly aggravated and prolonged by the subsequent leftist meddling of the Executive branch.  (Read Profs. Lee Ohanian and Harold Cole WSJ piece dated 9/26/11 "Stimulus and the Depression on how FDR prolonged the Depression.)

Depressions are caused by Government (the Fed) and prolonged by Government meddling in the private sector.

Sat, 07/21/2012 - 06:57 | 2638552 Itch
Itch's picture

Right you are my son - hit them in the antenna, they're useless without it.

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 16:50 | 2637713 EvlTheCat
EvlTheCat's picture

Shovel ready jobs..

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 17:17 | 2637781 Overfed
Overfed's picture

Like digging mass graves?

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 17:56 | 2637850 Tsunami Wave
Tsunami Wave's picture

Don't forget to order another piece of glass after breaking it so you can keep aggregate demand for breakable glass up! Also, remember to break & order often!

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 18:35 | 2637915 nmewn
nmewn's picture didn't make that glass!!!

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 19:38 | 2638006 PeterSchump
PeterSchump's picture

And if you bought it, someone helped you along the way to make it possible.

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 19:44 | 2638020 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Thats right, someone needed labor and was willing to pay me in the "coin of the realm" so I could buy it.

Its really a beautiful thing ;-)

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 21:03 | 2638154 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

But if we told O'KrugNanke to all go 'pound sand' wouldn't we eventually have glass? Free glass for everyone!

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 21:40 | 2638203 nmewn
nmewn's picture


I think you've hit on it krispy...the hot air combined with the Keynesian apologist and the facilitator...The O'KrugNanke..."stained glass".

Right now I'm trying to calm down on something else...Brian Ross.

Time for Brian Ross to Find a New Job

Earlier this morning, ABC's Brian Ross reported that some guy named Jim Holmes who belonged to the Colorado Tea Party might be the same James Holmes who murdered a dozen people in a theater in Aurora last night. "Now, we don't know if this is the same Jim Holmes," Ross said "but it's Jim Holmes of Aurora, Colorado."

Needless to say, it turned out that this wasn't the guy. I don't normally call for people's heads for making a mistake, even a bad one, but this is really beyond the pale. What kind of reporter says something like this on national TV despite knowing full well that he has no idea if he's pegging the right person? Is there really any good reason Ross should still be employed by ABC News by the close of business today?"

I don't care if George Stephanapolos or some other "producer" put this bullshit in his ear...he said it...we waited all morning for this type of crap, the first idiot to say another lie...he did.

Apologies and promises to "do better" for the MSM don't cut it anymore. He should be fired and anyone who gave him that ridiculous unvetted info should be fired along with him and take their place in the unemployment line and when it runs out sign up for permanent disability.

It would be just like me saying this James Holmes attended a San Diego Occupy Movement wouldn't it?

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 22:20 | 2638238 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

Yeah, just found that over at DC.  There is no excuse for the predominantly Left-wing MSM anymore and I like the fact that the 'New Media' has them bleating apologies almost as fast as they make the stuff up.  As you suggest, if they were really 'news' networks, they would fact-check and any talking head who spewed this type of crap would be handed walking papers and 'Next!'. But that's not how they do, or intend to, function anymore. 2008 was such a huge pile of propaganda/crap that I actually cut ties with neighbors and even family that piled on to the smear-fest. This wasn't an example of boisterous exuberance at the actual qualifications of a candidate, this was an all-out attack on not only candidates but their families, all the while the slogan of Hope and Change was chanted like a Mantra in grade schools. This is Jim Jones-like Kool-aid drinking at it's worst. Because not only are they affecting their own lives but poisoning the waters for another generation to follow. Don't know how this plays out but this election will BE paramount in deciding whether this country encounters a revolution or just kicks the can into another generation via a different name on the WH door.

Sat, 07/21/2012 - 04:00 | 2638473 Bartanist
Bartanist's picture

Brainwashing IS real. Some people are more susceptible than others. If you cannot be re-educated, then ...

Sat, 07/21/2012 - 08:07 | 2638576 nmewn
nmewn's picture

"...all the while the slogan of Hope and Change was chanted like a Mantra in grade schools. This is Jim Jones-like Kool-aid drinking at it's worst."

It is isn't it?...and Yes We Can...openly plagarized from a friggin cartoon character, Bob the Builder. We might as well hang up any thought of the average American becoming more informed listening to the MSM. I've run out of patience with anyone who does. 

The amount of knee jerk pandering to the "progressive" audience has reached epic proportions...of the twenty five "Jim Holmes" listed as living in that area the TP guy is the one remarked on?

We're surrounded by fucking idiots krispy, from top to bottom.

Sat, 07/21/2012 - 12:55 | 2638951 Morrotzo
Morrotzo's picture

Don't forget about the trash can, broom and broom pan manufacturers! Every so often break those things, too.



Fri, 07/20/2012 - 16:53 | 2637714 Precious
Precious's picture

In case of pubes, break glass and shave that fucking paedophile faggot John Maynard Keynes.  --- Look it up !

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 17:22 | 2637787 Racer
Racer's picture

"Barack Obama advocates the use of Keynesian economic concepts despite the fact that the pedophile John Maynard Keynes was incompetent and a fraud.[8]"

Hmmmm, the world is run by economics based on thinking coming from a psychopath.... says it all


Hilarious cartoon!!! ROFLMAO

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 17:45 | 2637828 WestVillageIdiot
WestVillageIdiot's picture

And the only economics being taught in colleges is Keynesian.  Our universities as centers of indoctrination and brainwashing are doing a marvellous job.  Don't even bring up any alternative to an econ PhD.  They will have no idea what to do, or say, so they will just throw a tantrum. 

Real estate agents, bank CEOs and economists are all in that same fucking worthless boat.

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 18:45 | 2637930 Precious
Precious's picture

Now you know why the community organizer in chief says everybody should have a college education.

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 21:54 | 2638218 HoofHearted
HoofHearted's picture

OK, so I have a PhD in math, but I do econometrics. We pretty much tell everyone what happened after some dumbshit convinced a lot og other numbnuts to try out his ideas on a real economy. Wemeasure stuff and say, "See how stupid that idea was. Next time try something different."

Anyway, I'm at this econ conference, and this guy gets up and he's going to talk about the economy of Hamstertopia or some other place I've never heard of and even have reason to doubt that it really exists. He starts with, "We assume a neoKeynesian model with parameters..." and some dumb ass in the back of the room asks, "Why would you assume that the economy follows some neoKeynesian model." Everyone in the room turns to look at me, er, I mean that dumb ass. The guy doesn't even dignify my, I mean that guy's question with a response.

I decided to spend the rest of the day wandering around Paris instead of listening to these idiots talk.

Sat, 07/21/2012 - 03:48 | 2638470 Zero Debt
Zero Debt's picture

There could be lots of interesting research to do in economics with a PhD in maths, but not in the neoclassical stream.

How about network analysis as a means to study crisis propagation (forward/backward-propagation analysis), flows of funds, dependencies, feedback cycles, dampeners and amplifiers. That would be some cool application of discrete maths.

I've also been thinking of psychological threshold analysis, e.g. at what income levels, wealth levels etc that people's behavior changes in a disruptive way (not just linearly). E.g., when your income goes below X, you start freaking out. To extract behavioral changes and dimensions as functions of economic parameters could provide insight into human action and the austrian school.

Also, all kinds of stuff related to shadow banking: societal effects, trends, quantitative and qualitative forecasts, and analysis of notionals of other types of derivatives written. Especially all those rates swaps being sold could become a real issue if rates rise in safe haven bond markets. Should do for some interesting study.

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 18:47 | 2637935 nmewn
nmewn's picture

"Our universities as centers of indoctrination and brainwashing are doing a marvellous job."

Hmmm, I'm wondering, if without "the governments" roads & bridges we would even have these centers of indoctrination?

I think I'm losing my mind ;-)

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 19:59 | 2638043 cbxer55
cbxer55's picture

We all lost our minds a long time ago. That's why we hang around this blasted web site. 

Now show me where one of them contraptions is so I can get busy breaking it.

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 20:27 | 2638096 nmewn
nmewn's picture

It'll take traveling the 800 billion dollar rebuilt government roads & bridges to get there...but its your next stop ahead, just around the the Twilight Zone ;-)

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 16:52 | 2637719 Ima anal sphincter
Ima anal sphincter's picture

Sounds like the typical governmental job. Much to do about nothing. Of course, I've got to pay for it.

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 16:52 | 2637720 zilverreiger
zilverreiger's picture

With the note that the non keynesian economy also qualifies largely as "nothing to do" since large amounts of what is produced is bullshit to fullfill an artificially induced bullshit need.

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 17:02 | 2637746's picture



an artificially induced bullshit need.


But that is Keynesianism.

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 17:24 | 2637792 Dr. No
Dr. No's picture

Well, in true Fightclub form, we do jobs we dont like so we can buy stuff we dont need....  Its not Keynesian eco that is creating demand for American Idol trading cards.


What is a duvet?

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 18:07 | 2637862's picture


 Its not Keynesian eco that is creating demand for American Idol trading cards.


Presidents have been know to tell Americans to shop to save the nation. Then Americans are given credit and subsidies in order to buy the crap that's supposed to save the nation. It is Keynesian.

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 18:57 | 2637946 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Thats another thing that pisses me off..."tax credits".

These motherfuckers really do believe its theirs to play around with and not yours.

Here ya go you simpleton, be a good little subject to the king and purchase this and NOT that with your meager wages...and we'll allow you to keep more of what you earned.


Fri, 07/20/2012 - 19:14 | 2637958's picture

Government uses a modified carrot and stick approach. The reward is not a carrot but rather two whacks with the stick rather than the three you'd get otherwise.

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 19:21 | 2637980 nmewn
nmewn's picture

All true...then ya got the hard heads like me ;-)

I thought about a solar system long before all the crony capitalists showed up (living in Fla, with hurricanes and power outages)...then when it was basically put to me as a bribe, with my own money...I said I'll stay on the generator and wall shaker when one rolls through.

You couldn't give one to me now "free" of charge.

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 19:33 | 2637998's picture

Solar panels which are free of charge don't do anybody any good.

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 19:47 | 2638024 nmewn
nmewn's picture

ROTFL!!! caught that...I was wondering if anyone

I's loves my's doubles ;-)

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 23:24 | 2638303 Element
Element's picture

Last weak there's an MSM leak that the qld state govt is going to axe thousands of public service jobs, so immediately the public sector unions are screaming that they will engage in widespread INDUSTRIAL action ... And all i can think is, wouldn't you first have to be industrious?

Sat, 07/21/2012 - 00:11 | 2638349 i-dog
i-dog's picture


BTW, someone recently told me that former Premier, Peter Beatty, did something a few years ago that switched Queensland from "a state of the Commonwealth" to an incorporated body outside [some, or all] federal jurisdiction. What's that about ... if anything?

Sat, 07/21/2012 - 05:14 | 2638501 Element
Element's picture

I don't know anything about that i-dog, but keep in mind that this is "Queens"-Lunde we're talking about.  

Nudge-nudge, wink-wink ... say no bloody more mate!

And let's not forget the State of [Queen] Victoria, or the State of New South [Prince of] Wales.  

Where New Zealand plays the bit-part of the ever volcanic Irish bastard, and Tas-Mania is a sort of economically enfeebled Scotland, full of daggy wannabe hippies .. and it actually looks like Scotland too.

The Queensland Labor Party have totally fucked the state's finances, it's the mini-me-Greece, just give it a few years.

Sat, 07/21/2012 - 07:23 | 2638562 Bobbyrib
Bobbyrib's picture

Subsidies in all forms need to be eliminated too. Fuel, agricultural, etc.

Sat, 07/21/2012 - 04:26 | 2638488 piliage
piliage's picture

What is a duvet? It's a thick blanket that I find floating near the ceiling in the morning after a night out eating chicken wings.

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 16:52 | 2637722 Pairadimes
Pairadimes's picture

You didn't build that.

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 17:29 | 2637808 mick_richfield
mick_richfield's picture

You know -- he was talking about himself.

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 16:53 | 2637723 Diggintunnels
Diggintunnels's picture

And by breaking said glass and cleaning it up, you have magically increased GDP.  Please repeat over and over until we are all rich...

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 17:04 | 2637752 marco1324
marco1324's picture

Then you need a bin to put that glass in. You see, it does work.

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 20:07 | 2638064 takinthehighway
takinthehighway's picture

And the glass can be recycled! These are green jobs being created!

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 20:21 | 2638090 marco1324
marco1324's picture

HA! Austrians, only good for yodeling imo.

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 16:53 | 2637724 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 Can you say too many  syl/lab/les   Tyler? Game show theatrics.

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 16:54 | 2637725 TheCanadianAustrian
TheCanadianAustrian's picture

If the government mandated years ago that these be installed in every home, then this whole crisis could have been averted.

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 16:56 | 2637733 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 I hope you are short eur/cad!

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 16:55 | 2637728 Snakeeyes
Snakeeyes's picture

Government creates TARP (Troubled Asset Relief Program) and then consumes 75% of the allocation of hardest hit funds in ADMINISTRATIVE COSTS IN NEVADA!!!!!

Keynesian Kraziness at its worst!!!!!

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 16:56 | 2637734 Mae Kadoodie
Mae Kadoodie's picture

How many Keynesians does it take to....errr, nevermind.

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 18:42 | 2637928 delacroix
delacroix's picture

the answer is MORE

Sat, 07/21/2012 - 00:18 | 2638346 palmereldritch
palmereldritch's picture

If you took all the Keynesian economists and laid them end to end they would all point towards Lenin's tomb.


Fri, 07/20/2012 - 16:58 | 2637737 fuu
fuu's picture

What a great week on the Hedge. Thanks again Tyler for giving us a forum to play in.

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 17:32 | 2637816 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

And we'll end a great week with ... new fiction!

How important are appearances? Some people will do anything to maintain just that. And some non-people will suffer the ultimate indignity to stay out of a cage.

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 18:30 | 2637891 fuu
fuu's picture

Why thank you!

All I made lately was a theme song for Max Fischer.

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 19:51 | 2638034 Jena
Jena's picture

Thanks to both of you!

Sat, 07/21/2012 - 05:21 | 2638503 Element
Element's picture

Love it!

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 19:55 | 2638030 David449420
David449420's picture

Thank you for that. The story was great. This week, well I wouldn't go so far as to label it as great.

Do let us know when you publish, I'll certainly buy a copy.

Have a great weekend.




Fri, 07/20/2012 - 17:00 | 2637738 tony bonn
tony bonn's picture

keynesianism for kleptocrats - break glass and wait for people to step on broken shards necessitating 911 call to paramedics; leave clean up utensils on floor in order trip the unsuspecting.

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 17:36 | 2637820 Quaderratic Probing
Quaderratic Probing's picture

Break glass...record it as off balance unbroken glass. Create two ETFs one called SHOVEL and one called BROOM. Leaver each 30 to one then .....

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 17:00 | 2637740 1835jackson
1835jackson's picture

The thing about common sense's not so common.

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 18:01 | 2637858 CCanuck
CCanuck's picture

The real stuff is now called uncommon sense, as matter of fact I think it should be called Veryrare Sense, or Stillhave Sense.

It's like thinking hurts people with the common sense now a days! They avoid it like the Plauge! Its easier to just be common, like the Dude next to ya!


Fri, 07/20/2012 - 17:26 | 2637768 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 Jeesus ( H) Christ Tyler! I can't believe the short covering opportunity in the markets!

  I just ran CoT charts, and the ( xlf) is exactly priced!


   as Jimmy Cramer says. sell sell sell! You retards can't catch a joke!


  ok flag boy. the xlf is up for the, ( week), weak! Look @ the monthly charts/ going back to May.  Get a job!

   Quit using me as your as your " STUMP"!  I do my homework!

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 17:09 | 2637769 Mark123
Mark123's picture

Wittiest cartoon I have seen in a long time!  Thanks for the laugh.....

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 17:10 | 2637772 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

You didn't sweep up that glass somebody else swept it up for you.

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 21:11 | 2638161 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

One job created or saved! His re-election is secure! (Excuse me while I go kick a puppy named WeeOwe, er, sorry, BO...)



Sat, 07/21/2012 - 04:31 | 2638489 piliage
piliage's picture

For that joke, I require you to make public your last 12 years of income tax returns before I can laugh.

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 17:11 | 2637773 Seorse Gorog fr...
Seorse Gorog from that Quantum Entanglement Fund. alright_.-'s picture

If poor old Simon Black of Soverign Man submited this, it would've been rated as three out of five.

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 17:19 | 2637777 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

He did ,from Portugal on his way to Chili just getting back from Singapore.

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 17:24 | 2637788 fuu
fuu's picture

While explaining that 1 megabit connections in Ukraine make it a great place to start a business after you have expatriated your gold to Thailand, Kenya, and Peru.

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 17:28 | 2637804 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

And telling us about the lockdown at checkpoints between countries while driving through Europe.

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 17:56 | 2637851 ghengis86
ghengis86's picture

While pontificating that having a 600 acre ranch in Chile and Argentina is really the best bug out option

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 18:18 | 2637886 Biosci
Biosci's picture

And the sign on the glass would also be in Mandarin

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 19:52 | 2638037 nmewn
nmewn's picture

That explains the metal encasing the glass being toxic to the touch.

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 20:00 | 2638045 lotsoffun
lotsoffun's picture

but the mandarin is no problem for simon black, because he speaks 20 languages fluently, and what he doesn't his entourage of servants probably have i covered.


Fri, 07/20/2012 - 17:20 | 2637785 r00t61
r00t61's picture

Only if he had casually mentioned how he had drawn the cartoon with his Montblanc pen while sitting on a private beach off the coast of Chile, waiting for his Bentley to come pick him up to take him to the airport, so that he could go to Hong Kong and buy some gold bullion.

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 17:12 | 2637775 Mark123
Mark123's picture

Does it say "Made in China" on the box?



Fri, 07/20/2012 - 17:53 | 2637843 CCanuck
CCanuck's picture

Safety box production is what's driving China's 7% Growth!

China's been outsourcing to Pakistan, to meet production requirements!


Fri, 07/20/2012 - 17:15 | 2637779 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

In case of nothing to do... DOUBLE the [non existent] budget & send the bill to the tax slaves...

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 17:18 | 2637784 Lucky Guesst
Lucky Guesst's picture

Don't worry, if your to lazy to sweep it up or even break the glass to begin with .... YOU STILL GET A CHECK!

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 17:23 | 2637791 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

WHat if we all eat potato chips and drink beer for two weeks out of the summer?  Will that help the depression?

Michelle Jenneke Dances to 110m Hurdle Victory:

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 17:25 | 2637795 CunnyFunt
CunnyFunt's picture

Onion (union) recipients frequently adopt the same tactic.

"Crime pays, and it pays to be stupid."

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 17:27 | 2637800 mick_richfield
mick_richfield's picture

Well it doesn't pay nearly enough, goddammit.

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 17:27 | 2637799 mick_richfield
mick_richfield's picture

Obama is not a Keynesian.

He was born in Hawaii.

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 18:20 | 2637894 centerline
centerline's picture

Down arrow for that one!  Born in Hawaii seems more and more like a work of fiction.

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 18:21 | 2637896 Lucky Guesst
Lucky Guesst's picture

yeah and I was born yesterday

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 20:20 | 2638088 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Damn, I thought it was funny...nice and dry with just a hint of redistribution.

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 17:28 | 2637805 egoist
egoist's picture

Shouldn't there be an (iPhone) app for that? I mean, really, who in the hell can be bothered to actually touch reality?

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 17:31 | 2637812 witok
witok's picture


Put sweeper together with broken glass in the trash can.

Order 2 new certificated glasses and 2 new certificated sweepers.

Call safety commissioner to check hammer and chain.

Look if now there is something to do for half an hour or so.

If not go for a coffee.

Look if now there is something useful to do.

You should not drink so much coffee.

All payment prefered on creditcard.

Sat, 07/21/2012 - 05:37 | 2638506 Element
Element's picture

I learned last week that there is such a thing a as "Brewster".

It's basically a recognised certification that you've acheived accredited "Master" coffee-making status.

no ... I'm not joking.

Probably the most neurotic thing I've ever heard of.


Gimme maw hi-kulture! ... its like good n' stuff

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 17:32 | 2637815 putbuyer
putbuyer's picture

Would make a good T shirt...

Sat, 07/21/2012 - 04:37 | 2638491 piliage
piliage's picture

The possibilities are endless too. Instead of Keynesian Economics we could do:

1) Greek Union

2) Spanish Finance Minister

3) EU Member of Parliament

and the art stays the same. We'd be gillionaires!

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 17:33 | 2637817 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 I give up. Have ( A)  nice Weekend . Thanks for the up-to-date reporting.


Fri, 07/20/2012 - 17:33 | 2637818 LoneuhRanger
LoneuhRanger's picture

Ahm waay better off since I broke ma glasses.

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 17:46 | 2637832 Anglo Hondo
Anglo Hondo's picture

Now THAT is one of the funniest (and truest) cartoons I have seen in a long time.


It is now printed, and will be disseminated widely. Please hold the lawsuites until I have made my second million.


Fri, 07/20/2012 - 17:55 | 2637844 kraschenbern
kraschenbern's picture

Absolutely stunning epiphany!  Honorary Doctorate for the creator of that one simple picture that captures the essence today's investing climate.

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 18:01 | 2637859 resurger
resurger's picture

Have a nice weekend ZH

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 18:11 | 2637872 tony wilson
tony wilson's picture

kill  nial fergusons

kill   krugmans

kill austrians

kill Keynesians

just kill them all

just do it slow

let the bankers watch the slaughter then kill them as well


that would indeed be funny

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 18:25 | 2637905 Biosci
Biosci's picture

you need a beer.

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 18:23 | 2637902 Getting Old Sucks
Getting Old Sucks's picture

Thanks for the best market explanation of the week.

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 18:45 | 2637931 BullyBearish
BullyBearish's picture

Creative Destruction courtesy of the 5th Element:


Fri, 07/20/2012 - 18:54 | 2637944 Boxed Merlot
Boxed Merlot's picture

Sometimes it's difficult to wait for the corn to grow.

That's why the US has baseball.

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 19:43 | 2638014 FieldingMellish
FieldingMellish's picture

'Tain't happenin' this year, sonny boy.

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 19:00 | 2637951 EclecticParrot
EclecticParrot's picture

I'd like to stop being a Keynesian, but regardless of how many resources I devote to this problem, I just cant seem to grow out of it.

(A Keynesian and an unemployed auto worker are pushing a wheelbarrow full of cash toward a massage parlor, though the doorway is blocked by a a striking 5th grade teacher, and the auto guy sez to the Keynesian . . . )

Sat, 07/21/2012 - 04:45 | 2638493 piliage
piliage's picture

>and the auto guy sez to the Keynesian . . .

which whore do we pay first... (ba boom pssshhhh, wacka wacka wacka)

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 19:23 | 2637986 Moon Pie
Moon Pie's picture

Remelt the glass into another pane, replace.

Rinse, repeat.

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 22:49 | 2638018 John Law Lives
John Law Lives's picture

I have an idea for another image.  Call it:  Post-Keynesian Economics

The accompanying image includes a bankster and a noose.

The caption says:  In case of nothing to do, let bankster swing in the breeze...

Sat, 07/21/2012 - 00:45 | 2638176 SafelyGraze
SafelyGraze's picture

The clearest explanation yet of Keynesiology:

1. drink water

2. talk to self

3. use your hand

4. form a circle

that keynes guy was some kind of genius

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 22:19 | 2638181 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

The ad on the right says 'Happy Birthday Barack', Sign the Card.

Happy Birthday to you, you Keny-nesian fraud who blew, his boyfriend and economy too, Happy Birthday Mr. President, I hope in this election you get screwed....!




Fri, 07/20/2012 - 21:47 | 2638210 Monedas
Monedas's picture

So he was a reprobate who perverted young people .... but when it came to public finance he was above reproach ?

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 23:04 | 2638283 BlackHorsewithScales
BlackHorsewithScales's picture

Nailed it!

Sat, 07/21/2012 - 00:35 | 2638367 ak_khanna
ak_khanna's picture

The world economy is on track to a long period of deflation after decades of inflation as a normal business cycle. All the politicians central bankers and keynesian economists put together cannot turn the cycle, they can only make things worse by deploying methods to postpone the effects at a much bigger cost.

The debts taken in the name of the country for QE will have to be borne by the rest of the population and future generations in the form of higher taxes, austerity measures and higher unemployment.

Sat, 07/21/2012 - 00:36 | 2638368 goforgin
goforgin's picture

Cretins want to hop some more
All good cretins go to heaven

Sat, 07/21/2012 - 01:04 | 2638391 Nachdenken
Nachdenken's picture

Not China its in all developed social welfare countries. Only there is no money stuffed in the cabinet, as K suggested.

Copy to Krugman.

Sat, 07/21/2012 - 01:43 | 2638409 Bastiat009
Bastiat009's picture

This picture ought to make most "useless" workers think.

I am not saying that they are useless as human beings, I am saying that most jobs are useless.

Sun, 07/22/2012 - 11:32 | 2640243 Umh
Umh's picture

I'm not sure that "most" jobs are some type of make-work, but the percentage that are is higher than many people think. Jobs have been provided for years for constituents, friends, family or just because old Bob is to hard to fire.

Sat, 07/21/2012 - 01:44 | 2638410 Peter K
Peter K's picture

It's a freaking creepy doomsday cult. Nothing more to say, really.

Sat, 07/21/2012 - 13:16 | 2638980 Morrotzo
Morrotzo's picture

21st Century Keynsian/Con-Man Economy is more like...

Create an industry centered around hammers and breaking glass. The American Dream will be hammer ownership. Why? Because we said so.Make people pay interest for decades for the privilege of renting a glass-breaking hammer until they "own" it but don't ever give them the title or the deed to the hammer.

Make derivatives based upon hammer loan interest payments and rental fees. Before you know it, the "industry" of hammer rental, glass breaking, sweeping, putting in a trash bin and recycling becomes a 100 trillion "industry." Eh, its only half again as big as the entire world's economy. What's the worst that could happen?

When it all goes to shit, have banks give you 17 trillion in bailouts, negative interest rate loans and "print" money by putting 1s and 0s into people's computer systems. From gold backed, to gold and silver backed, to paper and dross metal all the way to binary currency.

When this bubble pops, admit that you inflated it in the first place and then not only NOT apologize for it, say it was necessary then and it is necessary today to create a new bubble! Perhaps the new bubble will be in burying money in dirt holes, digging the money up, then burying it again/

"If the Treasury were to fill old bottles with banknotes, bury them at suitable depths in disused coalmines which are then filled up to the surface with town rubbish, and leave it to private enterprise on well-tried principles of laissez faire to dig the notes up again . . . there need be no more unemployment. . . . It would indeed be more sensible to build houses and the like; but if there are political and practical difficulties in the way of this, the above would be better than nothing." Keynes

To fight this recession the Fed needs more than a snapback; it needs soaring household spending to offset moribund business investment. And to do that, as Paul McCulley of Pimco put it, Alan Greenspan needs to create a housing bubble to replace the Nasdaq bubble. Paul Krugman

Ben Bernanke needs to create a banknote bottle bubble to replace the housing bubble. Think of all the backhoes, bottles and bulldozers that will be created. Would be awesome for the manufacturing sectors.


Sat, 07/21/2012 - 14:20 | 2639046 Grand Supercycle
Grand Supercycle's picture

As mentioned numerous times, market intervention has only postponed the inevitable.

Despite short and medium term market vacillation - the following remains a constant :

>> USDX monthly indicators [ie big picture] continue to warn of significant long term USD upside. (thus EURUSD & AUDUSD etc bearish)

>> SPX monthly indicators [ie big picture] continue to warn of significant long term downside for equities which will be worse than 2008.

Sun, 07/22/2012 - 11:27 | 2640236 Umh
Umh's picture

We are post-Keynesian now; we omit the sweeping up step.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!