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Friday Humor: The Muppet-Master
It's Friday afternoon. Given today's 'Epic Farce' of an equity-trading environment - It's 2pm, do you know where your sense-of-humor is?
On his relationship with Blankfein: "Elmo has no idea what he is saying but Elmo hopes he is friendly."
On the market's rebound today: "Elmo is so happy being red and Elmo just likes to be red."
On Corzine (and the BATS CEO soon): "He loves live in a trashcan; you don’t have to feel sad for him."
(h/t Jon)
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"Elmo wants to know why Goldman Sachs CEO Mr. Lloyd Blankfein feels he has the right to stick his hand up & violate Elmo's anal cavity."
"Elmo did not request a prostate exam."
"Elmo doesn't think this is doing God's work."
"Elmo wants to go to ER and report anal rape incident, but neither Mr. Jon Corzine or Mr. William Dudley, who used to be partners at Goldman Sachs, and who drove Elmo to Goldman Sachs meeting, will answer their phones."
"Elmo is sad because he now has painful rectal bleeding caused by Vampire Squid attack."
When Muppets go bad: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4zamP0j2aVc
It's TICKLE me Elmo, NOT MOLEST me Elmo you bastard.
Even the North American Man-Muppet Love Association (NAMMLA) is disgusted by this picture...
Elmo learns the Catholic meaning of "God's Work" from Lloyd Blankfein. [Note that the Vatican is the third largest land owner in the world. This represents Christ's will how?]
Not what I heard....Probably NSFW, but generally harmless humor.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_49VS4nuao
It's disgusting that none of these crooks have been arrested yet. We all know why they havn't been. Sad.
http://jamesturkblog.blogspot.ca/
muppets got a star on that holywood pavement yesterday. hm?
benefits from smart crooks > benefits from ignorant society arresting crooks
mass public is scape goating at occupy wall st. folks and doing banking with banks of america.
unless zerohedge becomes more popular than facebook, don't expect any revolutions from the fat TV watching walmart hoarding americans.
Cue Buffett wearing the Big Bird costume...
... and the American voter as the Cookie Monster....
How to Profit with Goldman Sachs; Be the Non-Muppet
by John Paulson
Many believe wealthy investor clients of Goldman Sachs are exploited by Goldman Sachs. While this is the rule, I am the exception to it that proves you won't inevitably lose money by following Goldman's advice, so long as you harbor devious intent and are able to get Goldman Sachs drawn into a conspiracy to defraud.
Here's how it works.
Don't be the individual, no matter how much you are (or were formerly) worth, who believes that Goldman Sachs or JP Morgan wouldn't stab you in the heart with an ice pick while complimenting you on your tie, telling you how profitable your 'future partnership' will be, so long as they can make a penny from your suffering.
Don't be the Muppet. Be a co-Muppeteer.
[talking about supporting Greg The Bunny's interest in the Pupish Movement]
Jimmy: Hey, why don't you guys give him a break? Instead of stabbing him in the back, why don't you try showing him a little support in the front? Lets face it, humans have been mistreating puppets for centuries. It's nothing new. We lure them to our country with the tartar sauce, and the lollipops, and the empty promises of sparklers which I believe are yet unfulfilled. Tardy, you got your sparklers?
Tardy: I'm tough but nice.
Jimmy: Yea that's what I thought! And then we go and trade their hides for, you know, cheap whiskey during the war of the roses.
Dottie: Is that true?
Count Blah: No
Jimmy: We had them build our airplanes and our suspension bridges and our jet packs and our race cars, but can you name me one puppet that's ever taken home the trophy at the Minneapolis 500? I dare ya. Can ya? No!
Alison Kaiser: I understood the pupish better.
"AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH ! I'll say whatever you want me to say, and do whatever you want me to do, just stop squeezing my nuts so hard - it hurts !
Female Clown Barfly: As soon as that camera is off, he gonna fuck that little dog.
+50 shakes
Now that is obscure!
so THAT'S who's got his hand up my ass!
Good to know that Wall Street is not just fucking with Main Street, its also screwing Sesame Street.
March is Muppet Fisting Awareness Month.
Once you go muppet...
blank
fein..... There I hope that helps you finish your thought.
down arrow from me. Fix the avatar already dude.
maybe that is what we are supposed to see. Nah..
WillyB going to work...
Elmo : "Sup?"
GS : "Fuck this muppet, it has no cash to milk"
RacerX
did you notice where his other hand is placed ?
are you saying I'm getting the courtesy reach-around as well? how thoughtful of Lllllooyd
The hand in back is for the wallet. The reach-around is for the pocket-change.
Don't feel too bad for Elmo...he's done this before. See Elmo Experiments...
http://www.buzzfeed.com/burnred/elmo-experiments-281t
Elmo's a whore.
"Why is he touching Elmo THERE?"
full service banking
comment of the day right there. plus 15.75 trillion and some change.
Elmo in 2012.
If you are going to have puppet in the White House, it might as well be one from Sesame Street.
Elmo thinks Goldman has class
But Lloyd knows that muppets are crass
He gives them a smile
All of the while
He's reaching his hand up their ass!
Is that elmo or Mitt Obama ?
Inflation is like Snuffaluffagus
Fed doesn't see it's humongous
It's hairy and massive
But the Banksters aren't passive
They'll print till it's sitting on top of us
why not "humonguffalus"?
Yes that would work better thanks. Next time I need to rhyme Snuffaluffagus I will get your assistance.
there once was a global mf
whose margin was lacking mos def
segregated accounts
of mega amounts
were looted to make up the dif
All Your String are belong to Elmo.
La la la la La la la la it's Blankfein's world.....
Elmo: Lloyd
Lloyd: Yes Elmo?
Elmo: For years you've had your hand up my ass fist fucking me with out me being aware. Well now I'm going to shove something so far up your ass that you and all of your criminal fucks will be aware. Welcome to Elmo's world you fuck!
there was once a bankster named Lloyd
who by laws was simply annoyed
deep up taxpayer ass
he'd reach to grab cash
a proctologist pretty-boy-floyd
Besides this being the Mahna Mahna economy (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8N_tupPBtWQ) everyone knows that this is the Opposite economy:
Opposite Stuff
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=StzK2CUdozw
Hey Elmo put some pants on, you freak
About time for TVIX to do a 4:1 reverse vaporization. It stopped falling in case anyone cares to dabble.
After this mornings' turn around in the face of bad economic news, algo mayhem, and lots of scary international rumours I think it's time to forget about the VIX. Bernanke has given the signal, 1380.50 in the ES is the bottom. In my mind this morning was the end of the vol game. QE is on hold but a new Maginot line has been drawn.
Now Open " Blankfein's RUB & TUG " combo for muppets
What a fucking goofy looking muppet...and don't even get me started on the red guy.
un f'in believable, People think Muslims get a bad rap and are portrayed as being intolerant when they are the religion of peace. This moving service takes place in a war memorial cemetery in the middle east, dedicated to the soldiers who died fighting for their country against their dictators
THE RELIGION OF PEACE AT WORK. This is not humorous http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=f03_1330829653&p=1I wonder how long that link stays alive...
...next thing you know the Muslim antichrist pukes will be blowing up Buddhist statues. Lol. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sfR_HWMzgyc
They're just looking for oil
janHazmat has been replaced?
Wall Street raping Sesame Street so the children of America know whats in store for them.
M-CLIENTS (M FOR MUPPET) OF GOLDMAN AS THEY HAVE BEEN COMMONLY KNOWN FOR THE LAST 20+ YEARS OR SO SINCE THE CO WENT PUBLIC WILL BE DELIGHTED WITH THIS PHOTOSHOOT!!!
Check out the headline on CNBC. Interesting use of the word "Lured". To lure is to use a decoy to catch something, usually a fish. After being caught, of course it is likely to be gutted, filleted and eaten. And such will be the fate of the average investor.
CNBC - Average Investors May Finally Be Lured Back Into Stocks Published: Friday, 23 Mar 2012 | 1:24 PM EThttp://www.cnbc.com/id/46835331
'Avg Investors may finally be lured back into stocks' LOL HOW do you figure that CNBC ass hat cheerleaders and Wall St puppeteers?!....'Average Investor' is now dead broke and wouldnt touched this rigged casino even if YOU sent them free money to put into your stupid markets!
'Now 51% of Schwabb investors are 'bullish', a sure sign the less bullish suckers will 'bite the lure' and follow suit now that the 'bull market' has caused the S&P to double'....Uh...yea sure...
Theyve gone totaly delusional now!
lol...look at line peeling off the reel!!!...it must be a whopper!!!
Could it be.....it IS! The Avg White Retail!! From hells heart, I stab at thee!!
ROTFL!!!
Moby Blankfein!
You owe me a keyboard. LMAO
They're not luring the whales anymore.
The whales figure they literally have better odds (and company, from a moral and ethical standpoint) in Vegas or Macau.
So they're hopelessly casting their lures for the retail perch & trout.
But the jig is up as even the lowly fish know there's just a painful hook that will lead to their gutting near that spinner.
Just as intestesing use of "average." Who the f*ck wants to be referred to as "average"?
me for one. it's a step up from my results
there is much truth in wording, as represented by the phrase 'freudian slip'.
nice catch - 'real' it in.
If you push Elmo's belly he laughs; similarly Banksters laugh when the Fed pushes print.
Real Men of Jean-yous.
That's right Mr. Muppet Master Man, we're talkin about you.
With your head up your ass & a hand always up someone elses.
Who's never seen an IPO that can't be front run or shorted. Doing God's work nine to five and being paid a handsome bonus off the jittery algo rhythms really works up an appetite for a weekend at the Hamptons for you. Million dollar fines are wiped away by green printed toilet paper rolls given to you by the Bernank.
So here's to you Mr. Muppet Master Man, may the statists always create new government departments for you to plunder and the doors of academia swing wide for you.
Mr. Muppet Master Maaan!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dpjmijYMYoE
Lloyd Blankfein: I just love fist fucking muppets. Back at the office, they call me Dr. Rectoscope.
'Can you point on the doll where Mr. Blankfein touched you...'
Now that was a good one.
Muppets Master, Bitchez. Vote Ron Paul.
http://www.economicpolicyjournal.com/2012/03/another-ron-paul-supporter-...
You want funny, watch this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0sbMxxeFYXM
Much funnier:
Is that you WB7?
Blankfein: LLoyd's-a-doing god's work. Lloyd-a-massage Elmo's prostate and milk Elmo furry balls.
Elmo: Waaah,... Elmo. see. the. light, Mr Lloyd.
You've seen Elmo, wanna see Bert and Ernie?
Lmo says tickle me again.
Just because...it's friday.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bxch-yi14BE
NOW it's fry-day :D
Featuring Corzmit The Frog as he sings his classic: It's Not Easy Stealing Green
"Mr. Blankfein?"
"Yes, Elmo."
"Elmo thinks that Tickle me Elmo likes to get two test tickles...not two fingers on his testicles."
"Oh Elmo, everyone at Goldman Sachs knows that Muppets don't have any testicles."
"Elmo thinks Mr. Blankfein would make a good pirate in our next Muppet Treasure Island movie because he is a Muppet molester."
oh jeez, thats alot of securities.
The Wile E. Coyote scenario continues...
http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2012-12-24/market-analysis