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Friday Humor: The New Normal Asset Manager
Curious why legendary hedge fund managers are shutting down shops left and right in disgust with the mockery that central planning and algorithmic short-termism had made of equity markets? Don't be: his name is Julian Marchese, he runs a "macro fund"... and he is 16. Don't get us wrong: we enjoy the next youth trading prodigy, and here the Schwab baby comes to mind, as much as everyone else. Our concern is when it is the people who have never even seen half of a business cycle that start running your money, and, probably worse, making money, which leads them to believe they know what they are doing, and gets gullible LPs to allocate capital to them based on a 3 month track record, when in reality the entire market is one merely primed for outperformance courtesy of central planner puts and priced to Bernie Madoff ponzi perfection, targeting a specific investor type. And here the Schwab baby comes to mind again.
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E-Trade Baby - Annnnnnd its Gone Capital Management, LP
I believe you meant to attach the classic South Park...And it's gone.
http://youtu.be/LKVe1ZILak4
When you start to see shit like this, especially promoted by the Clown Network that is cnBSc, it's almost guaranteed to be a slam dunk non-technical sign of a blow off top.
Head & Shoulders time. The technicals are quite peaky, a right shoulder looms, the underlying economy sucks far worse than any bleating MSM reading sheeple would ever be made aware of, and the valuations of 50x-500x P/E on companies that are shitty and/or profitless and/or still lobbing "we'll monetize our user base soon" grenades are starting to make pets.com circa-1999 look normal.
But I'm sure there's always that Bernank/Draghi "put" to save the day (just like it hasN'T in past times), on the assumption that said put is able to contravene basic laws of economics, arithmetic & consumer psychology permanently.
I recomend this kid focus on ({}).
Pussy, tits, ass?
You'd prefer ( . )( . ) ?
German military occupation of europe begins: Kosovo falls to the wehrmacht.
http://www.thelocal.de/national/20120907-44837.html
Here is my final thought on the kid.
If he shines shoes and gives stock tips it's time to get out.
Did he even have hair on his dick in 2008?
Sooo... basically the little shit discovered what stocks were in March of 2009 (by sheer fucking luck) and put all of Mommy and Daddy's money into the casino. CNBC must be getting REAL desperate now.
Maybe he can partner up with Corzine's new fund? Then he will learn what the underside of a bus looks like.
He didn't build it, he had help from the central planners...
Now we know what Max Fischer looks like....
Max Fischer, Civis Asswipus
Oh crap..undo.
Undo, undo...
UNDO DAMMIT!!!
The kid is sensitive to currency movements, so he'll probably be fine. Anyone with time and patience should be able to make double digits just by playing currency swings.
fucking noob.
It's better than holding bonds.
-
He'll be a Canadian version of Mrs. Watanabe before he knows it!
'Mrs. Watanabes' Blamed for Yen Surge - WSJ.comI don't see the problem with this... the system needs people like this... so someone can lose money while the smart traders (ahem HFT's...) can take!
he sounds more like a parrot who sits in front of the clown channel alllll dayyyy looonnnggg....
Pretty sure his breath stills smells like breast milk.
Looks like a goatse to me. The 16 year-old trade that is. Not sure what emoticon that was. .AHAHAH
Once he discovers that, his intelligence will begin to decline...at least that's what happened to me...still beats a 30% return any day of the week!
Tell him to remove the tampon first
Thank god a mans nose is on his face and not on his dick.
This pretty much confirms the end of this bubble is near.
the next bruno iksil?
Wal-Mart, Coke, and McDonalds. I think I could have made that call.
It's not the kid's fault that others are telling him he is a great trader ...
But it's his fault in believing those lies they say about him.
In the later part of the interview he said he was short Euros.
This was on Wed 5 sept. EUR/USD touched a low at 1.25 and then rallied to over 1.28.
GREAT CALL!
I think your double speak is bordering on thought-crime.
Hey, don't make fun of him! He read a book!
by Dr. Seuss?
Young genius as he may or may not be. he has had success on his side up to this point. What the young lad may be lacking is the experience in the real world. A lot of old timers bring this up. Simply because they have seen what the 'new and improved' world and what it brought. Those farmers had to work to overcome all the difficulties it brought.. Small, local farmers feed the world and that is worth working the land and a sense of pride it brings. Gangsters, Motorcycle Gangs, and Wall Street all starve a much deserved death without them.
The writing is always on the wall in plain site at the top. In 1999, the peak of CNBS, they had a show called Buy, Sell or Hold where sheep would call in for an opinion on thier favorite pony. I will never forget the number of 10-11 year old's calling in about their internet stocks because their parents gave them 10k to "invest" in the stock market. Here we are in 2012 where sheep is handing over millions to a 16 year old cuz he's some sort of whiz kid....or somthin
I still remember when Leonard the Monkey, who basically was a chimp that they gave a ball ping hammer to so he could smash the "buy," "sell," or "hold" buttons, would routinely beat Jimmy Jam Cramer ('Crames' as I used to call him) for months on end in a stock picking duel.
Resistance is futile, you will be assimilated. TPTB are indoctrinating a new generation. What other explanation could there be given the current situation?
Of course we will be assimilated. After being Corzined, what else is left? After all, the DNC just announced that we all belong to the government now, didn't it? (Beats being left to fend for myself if those racist, dastardly Repubs win in November!)
When I'm borgified I want to be 6 of 9, right next to 7 of 9.
When the Red Army was circling around Berlin the only chance the German civilians, women, had was 16 year old boys that defend the city from the barbarian hordes.
Is history repeating itself?
We also had 16 year old Jewish boys enforcing Nazi imposed curfew in Warsaw in 1940's.
George Soros. Pamella Geller doesn't call it Jewicide for nothing.
The Buffett jeuden?
What Soros wouldn't do for a buck...
No seriously (equivalent of "take my wife, for instance" joke)....
What Soros wouldn't do for a buck.
could modern 16 yr olds have the dicipline or attention span to even stand guard?
Depends on whether the ritalin ration gets distributed.
Dub
Wow what a joke, who is this kid??
http://silverliberationarmy.blogspot.ca/
any more of a joke than any of the professional lemming investment bank analysts often cited by tyler??????????
Are you still calling no more QE this year?
- Kito: "any more of a joke than any of the professional lemming investment bank analysts often cited by tyler??????????"
He's not any more of a joke; less so, actually.
The joke is that a virgin like this is brought on in a lame-ass attempt to project the notion that the "markets" are anything other than a chum tank for Goldman/JPM/SAC next-to-or-underneath-the-"exchanges" co-located servers.
Look at the actually credible names that returned partner money, permanently closed shop, and retired in the last 2 years. It's an epic list who had dozens of billions AUM each, and they essentially went Galt.
This kid will always have an interesting story to tell (with video to back him up) about how Melissa Lee, or whatever the fuck her name is, interviewed him for several minutes on the Clown Network in the years ahead, after he and his "investors" are made painfully aware that it was just that his cherry hadn't been popped yet.
“who is this kid??”
This guy’s little brother..
http://www.zerohedge.com/article/dow-20000-or-bust-or-how-james-altucher-stole-birinyis-ruler
"short the Euro"?
He got fucking killed today. Nice try KID.
Probably had to change his diaper after seeing that happen.
Just before the dot.com bubble burst they had all of the grannies who were in stock clubs on TV who had made sooo much money with their investments. This round they are using kids.
+200
It is all typical TV brainwashing psy/ops to F the public. CNBC is like watching a casino with lights and noise. This kid is only 16 and he is cleaning up in the market so you (suckers) should join him. Even a kid can do this. Total brainwashing and propaganda. It goes on in WSJ, Money, Smart Money et al.
OMG, every time my Smart Money issue arrives I have a gag/nausea response. Thank gawd it was a gift subscription and I didn't pay for it.
@cat----YES
My favorite....
http://www.forbes.com/special-report/2011/30-under30-12/30-under-30-12_finance.html
Yeah, and your "strong doelarr" call got smoked today didn't it? DXY breaks 80 and it's going way down the elevator shaft.
Oh, and look at GOLD & SILVER...
Let's talk about " , parents "living vicariously" through their offspring!...
"We regret to inform you, your money has been 'Corzined.'"
Thats one baby Boomer ...boom goes your portfolio..
Fisher Price/Goldmans has a new "Finger Puppet(muppet)"?
What a joke.
i think this kid has a deeper voice than me!
CNBC is desperate.
Keep up the good work everyone.
Here's a tip for the kid-- stay long and true to central planners (soul and capacity for individual thought be damned) and you'll continue reaching the higher echelons of finance... if that's what you really want.
Like Ann Barnhardt said: "GET THE HELL OUT NOW!!!!!"
Comment of the day! :-)
I thought 18 was mininum age for a series 7 license?
http://www.securitiesexam.com/become_stockbroker.html
Did the E-Trade baby do a takeover???
He invested in RIMM because it was "patriotic."
Try selling that in a letter to future clients.
"We are investing in GM because it is patriotic!"
A RIMM job in every pot?
i always thought it was Etrade. .my bad. managers leaving? great i hope this is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the collateral damage on "markets" that ben has created
Hey, put him in the cockpit of the next L.A. to New York flight or behind the knife of the next cardiac bypass at the Mayo Clinic.
Why not?
hye, that reminds me of that show "the Pretender" which was in the late 90s. Anyways, the main guy was a quick study who was able to become anybody. Anyways,...
When I was 16 I spent most of my day masturbating...actually I still do.
isnt that what markets are today? They dont call it "stimulus" for nothin........
No, you're referring to the "regulators."
It's called 'easing' nowadays.
Well, the financial markets ARE one big circle jerk- same as fraud street.
lloll
Quick send your resume to the SEC they are sure to hire you for your "skillz."
Puberty bitchez
the first time i told my kid (separately; diff ages) the truth about "it" they thought i was nuts
then they got older and i got smarter; just like my mom said! L0L
here's what i told the little bilge rats :>
As a guy once said: I'll stop looking at your ass when you stop looking at my car.
For anybody that listened, the kid called for a Euro Short 2 days ago, LOL. So much for his 2 years of "20-30% per year" since 2009.
Better than the anti-Stolper trade then.
He only executes trades based on technicals, I heard that!
Is that fucking worthless dicksucking little fucktard Timmay 16 yet?
Strange game... the only way to win is not to play. ~Joshua
"A regular contributor to Seeking Alpha" LOL
I think they get $200 for being on TV..so he has that going for him...but I bet hes heavy in Apple, Facebook, Green Mountain..what other trendy stocks are there.....he would never buy CAT
Sooo...pretty much everything a 16 year old buys or uses each day. Hey - that could be an ETF.
until daddy and mommy get evicted and have to pay rent - and the 3,000 a month they don't pay on the mortgage dries up and so does the cable and the i-toy and the endless poppa johns pizzas.
Jones Soda.
A favorite of all 16 year old hedge fund managers.
LMAO....How's that EUR/USD short working out since Wednesday?
he must have a line to Potter
I'm sure they're "friends" on FB.
He said he looked at fundamentals and econmics... hmmm, and he goes long.....
He got Obama confused with Jeff Spiccoli "I can fix it"
Now I've seen everything:
Couple this article here with this one from Bloomberg discussing how Fund Managers can advertise for investors on billboards and milk cartons and this may prove to be as efficient of a retirement savings-cash burning furnace machine than the Knight algos.... Only not as fast.
He should call this Anthracite Capital LP. Ha! (or maybe I only think that name is funny).
http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2012-08-28/hedge-fund-marketing-could-begin-new-era-as-sec-set-for-proposal.html
Bullish prime brokers.
SpongeBob coins among assets seized by FBI from Peregrine HQ
http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/07/19/peregrine-bankruptcy-spongebob-idUSL2E8IJ9M520120719
What's funny is that this is most valuable asset PFG had.
"Whar's me money?"
It's nice to see ZH is showcasing account holders in a few articles. You could have renamed this article,
"A Salute To RobotTrader".
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TT9VXxuc0LE
I have that one bookmarked! I play it when I am feel like tearing my hair out! :)
"sell gold buy momo"... <laughs with tears in his eyes>
Sell gold buy Lulu.
sorry! duh :)
It's the new strategy: the only way to keep the ponzi alive is to involve every man, woman, and child on the planet.
Where the hell else is he going to get a job? He knows all too well that if you don't know chit you buy a tie then go work in the financial sector.
Future Roadkill.
I'm waiting for a more 'mature' chimp or gorilla with good dart throwing skills to set up shop before I get back in.
Uhh, we invested in RIM? /Uh we like U.S. equities, because uh Europe and Asia just don't look as good.
Uh I'm the CEO, of " Home Skooled" basement babies, and we are now long "healthcare". P&G & Kimberly Clark( diapers & sippy cups)!
it IS easy tho, Y/C
even you or i could do it...
a few years ago my gf decided to "open a trading account"; i told her don't
so she told her financial adviser and asked him how much money they could "spare" at that point after the cars, vacations, and of course, shoes, buying dinner in a 4-star for the entire peace movement, and $1500 for someone to advise her on "publishing her book"
so she gets a $$ number and goes "online" to see about an account
she calls me :> slewie (i loved her for that)! i'm gonna open an account with charlesS!
moi :> don't open it till you send for the prospectus and read it
msZ :> they're already sending it! i'm so ... excited! can't i just use my credit card to open this?
:> call me when you finish reading it, ok?
well, she "got it" (somehow) and didn't send charlesS the check! she did ask me how the hell anybody could understand THAT? and i told her hardly anyone could or did, including her "advisor", apparently...
...it's the boilerplate, BiCheZ L0L
how was this for you? :> Chart for U.S $
did you cash, get whiplash, or were you out getting gas? or a little gash? i saw yer stuff to the "6-man" the other nite; now! do you have my pumpkin, or not? L0L!!!
I went long aud/usd, as the 200day sma was in the 1.03223 area, and there was a huge bull candle. I T/P @ 1.03500 (trailing stop)
Went flat and waiting to play the Sunday gap. (other than)Yes I have a small GBP/AUD in the money short open. The pretext of my trade originated with a short (aud/jpy) entry point!
If usd/jpy bounces, then aud/usd will be a under performer. It will pressure aud/jpy. The "gbp" trade looks most vulnerable to me.
Heavily overbought, and used by (Eastern Europe/Middle Eastern) sovereigns to rinse flows. The best to you and your family Slewie! :-)
Abandon all hope.
We are so FUCKED!
</real>
This is one step removed from some fifth grade teacher starting a stock picking contest for his students... which almost always happens before the market is ready to put in a cyclical top.
when i started trading albeit a bit later at 18/19 i thought i knew everything too :) ..when you make A bit of money you fool yourself into thinkig you " get it"...soon enough the market will give you a good kicking ..makes you learn (or give up trading) which is why its best to get these lessons early on.
a little surprised that cnbc is calling this guy on air .. have all the "veterens" left the market after losing their shirts? is this kid the metaphorial shoe shine boy who gave jp morgan a stock tip? GET SHORT US EQUITIES GUYS HEHEHE OOOPS JUST BOUGHT TRUCKLOAD OF SMITH & WESSON STOCK INTO THE CLOSE FEELING A BIT NERVOUS NOW :(
Old Fruit, respectfully... Money mismanagement is no joking matter. You were 18/19 not a undeveloped 16! You sure as hell weren't on CNBS talking your daddys book!
well not sure who's money he's managing, if it's his own family's then who cares, if its hardworking people's investments then i of course i would be concerned.
im sure in the old days they had half decent strategists & analysts on there, seems to be a lot of airhead bimbos interviewing various loud mouth spivs who dont look like they could trade their way out of a paper bag .. guess anyone with any self respect wouldnt be seen dead on here these days.
It seems that we are in general agreement oldfruit1 , (sans the ancillaries).
Good luck to the boy. In the meantime I'm making a about 40K a month, working from home simply on my laptop. Yes I responded to one of the spammers figuring that why should that bitch of a friend of my one eyed grandmother's lesbian next door neighbours aunt make all the dosh. Sweet.
Public markets have been lost to computers, more and more smart money is realizing this and moving into long-term private infrastructure and energy deals.
You are gagging for it?
First bailout before he's 18... first virgin bailout. They're going to love him in prison, somebody has to take the fall.
Well, it's 2000 all over again. CNBS will be interviewing waiters and cab drivers next that are running "long/short funds with an emphasis in the emerging markets". We'll then be hearing from housewives that took an online course and are making $5k/day trading tech stocks. Something tells me this won't end well but I would imagine we will gun for the all time highs first...
i'm getting crusty - but i think it was porn star jenna jameson quoted in nyc papers as 'disney sucks right now'. 2000 - 2001. wonder how casey jordan does on her investments. advice from charlie sheen?
Q: What did one HFT say to the other?
A: Algo first.
Here's how the Olde Man Knukie sees it.
Most of the toddlers running OPM (Other People's Money) these days are products of a unique environment.
That being first, they are or are the progeny of the Me Generation, the post war baby boom children who grew up spoiled rotten, narcissistic, ego centric, anal, seriously challenged with respect to any sense of a broad based classical education view of the world.
Indeed they're the very products of the rottenness of society as can be imagined. They are in part along with their parents, by and large responsible for the actual horseshit state of the world; bankrupt or barren in the truest of mental, intellectual, and spiritual senses, they should not by any stretch of the imagination be considered mature, responsible adults and cannot be considered as good civil human ladies and gentlemen.
In short, they display the very ethical and moral failings observed within the mirror of themselves, society as a whole.
Great folks to have run OPM.
Second, they have not been even close to experiencing a full market cycle. Stop. Their education, experience set is sorely lacking. They know naught of inflation (real, as in pre-Volcker) serious capital market pricing (unrigged, real alpha generation, free of insider trading and information). In fact much of thier successes have been based solely upon upward sloping yield curves in concert with negligible real costs of funds affording spectacular carry generated profits... and many yet fail, spectacularly and miserably with such gifts.
Moreover, there are not 14,000 or so fucking geniuses in the whole world that are smart enough to produce persistent, quality risk adjusted after fee rates of return from demonstrated proven intellectually solid investment processes; definable, repeatable, reproducible, understandable, simple.
In fact, most cannot even elucidate an investment process let alone define what one entails. (You all know, the "I can't tell you it's proprietary" horseshit.)
Surprised?
Shouldn't be.... we're surrounded with idiots parroting bundled rubbish polished to high patinas and sheens by the slickest of sales and marketing kinds (Who have ruined the investment business, BTW as it has become an asset accumulation effort as opposed to quality return generation) embraced by all participants to the "game" as reasonable when in fact, its nothing more than a cluster fuck of sociopaths.
That have begun to start feeding upon themselves.
so? [nobody's perfect...]
this gets slewie's "rant of the week" award, k_nuk [you get 2nd] :>
No CB Solutions: Liquidity vs Insolvency
By: Jim Willie CB
i posted this before - but an adult i knew seriously told me once 'this stuff cures cancer and aids'. 55 years old. at one time he had been one of the most successful cocaine dealers in nyc. he died homeless on the streets. for some time - he did very well. it's all cyclical. things go up, things go down. my response was 'i don't have either thanks, so , i think i'm ok for the time being'. but - somebody was buying his story, at least for a while.
bennie - you reading this??
That kid is going to get fleeced.
Correction.. This kids parents are going to get fleeced..
the new broker ...Doogie Hoser
Tom Waits: Jockey Full of Bourbon (live in Warsaw 2000)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wq0b65HduY
.
he said ..
" hey little bird, fly away home
cause your house is on fire ". t.w.
.
The Trans-Pacific Partnership Agreement
Ian F. Fergusson
Specialist in International Trade and Finance
http://www.fas.org/sgp/crs/row/R40502.pdf
.
burning down the house and remember,
"the constitution is just a piece of paper."
george b.
.
Talking Heads "Burning Down the House"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xNnAvTTaJjM
.
.
This is the same kid that was on Dragons Den in Canada i think - he got bank rolled to start a hedgefund from them all when he was 14 years old based on some charts he put in front of them claiming he made 25% returns with a computer program he made, trading the last hour of the trading day, in one year....
His strategy was sell when everyones buying and buy when everyones selling - which he clearly stole from Goldman Sachs LOL
“Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former”
Albert Einstein, Physicist
Without comment....
I am simply stunned.
Ponder this! Why does time speed up as you age?
Edit; that worthless asshat(limey) on CNBC is in Full , " self preservation" mode! I think Michelle Caruso-Cabrera just grew a set of balls!
Nice work Michelle! ;-)
b/c santa gets a bit less important every year?
No more " Red Rider Wagons"? Nice one(comment), Slewie!
Because your sense of time is based on the amount of time that has passed while you've been conscious.
A year at age 9 is 10% of your entire life.
he has sounder advice than many who are multiples of his age
Come January, he'll be Treasury Secretary.
I think it's ridiculous that CNBC would have him on...That said...
Is this any worse than him sitting at home play world of war or whatever they fuck these video games are?
If he can make money at it, good for him. If he loses money, it'll be an education.
I can think of many worse things he could be doing.
Just so you know:
SC2 (StarCraft2) Players Prize Money Ranking 2010-2011Here is the prize money ranking for SC2 players from year 2010 to 2011 (Up till Jan 31st)
1- IMNesTea - $100,000
2- TSL_FruitDealer - $94,465
http://www.gomtv.net/2011gstl1/news/60890
The average salary for a pro-gamer is $48,000
http://www.simplyhired.com/a/salary/search/q-Professional+Gamer
Thankyou Daddy Bernanke!