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Friday Humor: Olympics Edition

Tyler Durden's picture


Sometimes, some things are best left unsaid:

  • Weightlifting commentator: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing."
  • Dressage commentator: "This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother."
  • Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious."
  • Softball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."
  • Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces."
  • At the rowing medal ceremony: "Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew."
  • Soccer commentator: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."
  • Tennis commentator: "One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them . . . Oh my God, what have I just said?"

And finally, Obama calls Phelps:

"Congratulations Michael, but remember you didn't win all those medals, someone else did. After all, you swam in public pools, built by state employees using tax dollars. You got training from the USOC, and ate food grown by the Department of Agriculture. You should play fair and share your medals with the people who can barely keep their head above water, let alone swim."

h/t George


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Fri, 08/10/2012 - 16:40 | 2695275 lineskis
lineskis's picture

Friday Humor! \o/

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 16:44 | 2695290 Gully Foyle
Gully Foyle's picture

Eric Cartman's Minorities Song: What has happened to this place / I don’t recognize it anymore / It used to be so fun and special / What is life worth living for The dream is dead / Our land is gone / There’s a hole in my heart / And I can’t go on / There are too many minorities (minorities) / At my water park (my water park) / This was our land, our dream (our dream) / and they’ve taken it all away / They just keep coming and coming (minorities) / I tried to go and tell the police / But even the authorities / Are minorities (are minorities) / At my water park / There’s no place for me to sit anymore / And the lines just keep getting crazier / There are Mexicans all around me / The lazy river has never been lazier / It’s a 40 minute wait to go down one slide / And the instructions are in Spanish on the Zip Line ride (just do it in English!) / There are too many minorities (too many) / At my water park (somebody do something) / Where did they all come from / Why can’t they leave this land alone / And it’s such a tragedy (feel a bit like dying) / We looked the other way too long / We’ve got to change our priorities / And get all these minorities/ Out of my water park / (Minorities) Mexicans and Asian / Black people / I think I even saw Native Americans (gross) / God I’m asking please / Get all of these minorities / Out of my water park (my water park)

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 17:02 | 2695310 Precious
Precious's picture

Thought London 2012 would be THE year for men's synchonized swim. What a disappointment.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 17:15 | 2695382 sqz
sqz's picture



For some reason, I found this funny at the time:

  • Women's Judo commentator: "Pogorzelec in the white, a limping Joo in the blue."

As an aside, Joo's throw was probably the most spectacular in the entire Olympics 2012:

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 17:16 | 2695403 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

I say give Phelps another medal for hottest girlfriend, this is reportedly his current one:

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 17:29 | 2695432 HungrySeagull
HungrySeagull's picture

If that is Joo in the Blue, that is a quite the defense converted to a smashing offense. White did not know or see it coming...

I don't think this was planned. Just executed.

Sat, 08/11/2012 - 13:09 | 2697480 Need More Cowbell
Need More Cowbell's picture

@Precious:    They're not mad at each other, they are just pointing and thinking "I know you, I know you"


The quotes are fitting - they don't call it the XXX games for nothin'

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 16:55 | 2695335 Population Bubble
Population Bubble's picture

Minorities themselves are not the problem; it's all the people in general.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 17:04 | 2695361 Rainman
Rainman's picture

" What the hell is it with all these white kids shootin up the school...?

                   Chris Rock

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 19:24 | 2695719 CompassionateFascist
CompassionateFascist's picture

"What the hell is it with 1/4 of all black males currently in prison, just out of prison, or soon to be in prison...for robbbing, raping and murdering?"  Ans: that's what the Jews put them up to do: via the welfare-illfare state, crime-lobby legal system, and drug culture. Expand the State.


Fri, 08/10/2012 - 20:42 | 2695802 Precious
Precious's picture

First the J's ran the slave trade into England.  When it was outlawed in there, they shifted to the slave trade into America.  This is a documented fact.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 19:41 | 2695753 Monedas
Monedas's picture

Relatively few blacks have the organizational skills to acquire and keep wealth, own cars and guns !  They are good at grabbing guns from black cunt sherriffs and killing them and the judge and others when an outrageous injustice is summarily imposed on them .... to their credit !      They're also good at faking 911 domestic disturbance calls, lying in wait and wasting 4 deputies who come running to save the day .... like that guy in Texas !   Can't we all just get along ?

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 20:45 | 2695871 Precious
Precious's picture

Nice of your patrons to pay you $12.50 an hour to fake a racist good old boy, but you don't even come close to fooling anyone.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 23:31 | 2696280 toady
toady's picture

Way too articulate for a good ol' boy. No ya'lls er nothin'

Throw a couple of those in next time and you might fool someone.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 17:29 | 2695429 Gully Foyle
Gully Foyle's picture

Study: Oral Sex Cures Morning Sickness


According to Gordon Gallup, a psychologist at SUNY-Albany, the best way to cure morning sickness during pregnancy is sperm.

But not just any sperm, it should be the sperm of the person who got you pregnant.

Gallup believes the reason a pregnant woman gets morning sickness is due to the unfamiliar semen in their body due to the pregnancy.

Gallup says in his findings that the woman’s body will initially reject the father’s semen as an infection and react to it by vomiting.

Gallup says the best cure for morning sickness is to ingest the father’s semen so her body can build up a tolerance to what’s already in her body.

Gallup agrees with the 2000 abstract from the National Center for Biotechnology Information, which showed that oral sex and swallowing sperm is correlated with a diminished occurrence of preeclampsia.

PubMed Health defines preeclampsia as when a pregnant woman develops high blood pressure and protein in the urine after the 20th week, which is usually in the late second or third trimester of pregnancy.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 17:39 | 2695466 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

. . . and just think of the yet undiscovered benefits!

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 17:41 | 2695473 Coast Watcher
Coast Watcher's picture

Men all over America are reading this story to their wives, and their wives are going, "That is so not going to happen."

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 17:52 | 2695508 Gully Foyle
Gully Foyle's picture

Coast Watcher

Just tell them about the clear skin benefits. Then men will have to hide.

Sat, 08/11/2012 - 02:34 | 2696407 Richard Chesler
Richard Chesler's picture

This research courtesy of Eric Cartman.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 18:12 | 2695565 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Why is the bride always smiling?

They know they've given their last blow job for awhile ;-)

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 23:45 | 2696306 merizobeach
merizobeach's picture

Sure, brides and wives of all tenure are perfectly within their right to not put out--and there will always be plenty of others willing and ready to perform when wifey opts not to (or turns into an ugly, noisy balloonasaurus).

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 18:15 | 2695573 Grinder74
Grinder74's picture

The trick is to have them read 50 Shades... first, then show them this story.  You'll see the light bulb go on over their head.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 19:09 | 2695698 IAmNotMark
IAmNotMark's picture

I showed my wife this story and she said: "Honey our youngest child is 21".

Sat, 08/11/2012 - 10:23 | 2697001 Theosebes Goodfellow
Theosebes Goodfellow's picture

I can see it now...

"Honey, suck dick or be sick. It's your choice. Oh, and don't forget to swallow!""

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 18:11 | 2695564 neilhorn
neilhorn's picture

I awoke with a terrible tast in my mouth this morning.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 18:21 | 2695593 tenpanhandle
tenpanhandle's picture

Just a little bit of sympathetic reaction, nothing to worry about. 

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 18:40 | 2695632 neilhorn
neilhorn's picture

She always expects a kiss afterward.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 19:46 | 2695771 Monedas
Monedas's picture

Have a nice weekend, y'all !

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 16:40 | 2695276 Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

sheeple are sheeple

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 17:17 | 2695390 Daily Bail
Daily Bail's picture

Until yesterday, details of this $2.4 trillion bailout program were a closely-held secret, only made public through a FOIA request by finance professor Dr. Linus Wilson.

Paulson was using X to guarantee 48X in assets:

NEW DETAILS - How Hank Paulson Guaranteed $2.4 TRILLION In Money Market Assets With A $50 Billion Bluff

Sat, 08/11/2012 - 12:31 | 2697429 jwoop66
jwoop66's picture

I love you fuckin' limies! Your off the chain!  How'd you let your country go down the tubes so bad?


Why are we hell bent on duplicating it?

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 16:40 | 2695279 govttrader
govttrader's picture

"Obama calls Phelps"   this merde is STILL funny!!!

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 16:46 | 2695296 Gully Foyle
Gully Foyle's picture

Lady at special olympics register: OK, now what's his condition?
Cartman's Mom: Umm... he's retarded
Lady at special olympics register: Uh... no I meant, what does he have? Cerebal Palsy, Attention Deficit Syndrome?
Cartman's Mom: Umm... I'm not sure... uh honey, what's your condition?
Cartman: How the hell should I know? I'm retarded. DUURRHH!

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 17:01 | 2695350 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

Voting for Obama or Romney is just like the Special Olympics - No matters who wins, they are both still retarded.  HEY OHHHHHH!!!!

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 18:00 | 2695532 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

They didn't build that short yellow bus (somebody else did)... But they ride in it...

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 16:49 | 2695305 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Damn I forgot to send you your two week card in time for your birthday.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 16:41 | 2695281 spastic_colon
spastic_colon's picture

And Michael....Please send your tax check for your medals directly to Ben

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 16:53 | 2695328 SheepRevolution
SheepRevolution's picture

And the tungsten in the medals also. It's tradition.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 16:42 | 2695284 The Wizard of Oz
The Wizard of Oz's picture

Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field - Metro Radio

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 16:44 | 2695289 JohnG
JohnG's picture

Dammit I just shot bourbon through my nose.....the pain!

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 16:51 | 2695318 The Reich
The Reich's picture

... and I wasn't even drinking bourbon!

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 16:56 | 2695338 JohnG
JohnG's picture

Wast of perfectly good Wild Turkey....fuck, I'm still trying to stop my nose running.

Seriously, that felt like tear gas.  Shit.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 18:02 | 2695537 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Give him the bird!

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 16:51 | 2695319 Lohn Jocke
Lohn Jocke's picture

That would make a great Olympic event.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 16:46 | 2695291 sickofthepunx
sickofthepunx's picture


"You Olympians, however, know you didn't get here solely on your own power,” said Romney, who on Friday will attend the Opening Ceremonies of this year’s Summer Olympics. “For most of you, loving parents, sisters or brothers, encouraged your hopes, coaches guided, communities built venues in order to organize competitions. All Olympians stand on the shoulders of those who lifted them. We’ve already cheered the Olympians, let’s also cheer the parents, coaches, and communities. All right! [pumps fist]."


-actual romney quote from 2002 games

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 16:49 | 2695304 crawldaddy
crawldaddy's picture

other ones were funny, the Obama fake one wasnt.  I mean it goes without saying, that almost every freakin athlete says" they could of never done it by themselves,  without the help of.............."  THey each say it.  so why the controversy? 


Why are people on the right so fucking stupid?  what dont they get?

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 16:52 | 2695324 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Their stupidity is only matched by those on the left.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 16:54 | 2695330 crawldaddy
crawldaddy's picture

and example A of a right wing idiot chimes in.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 16:59 | 2695343 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

 My politics have been clear the right is full of non-thinking idiots and the left is full of non-thinking idiots. Where do you fit into that description? I think I know. 

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 17:00 | 2695348 crawldaddy
crawldaddy's picture

you DONT think, that's your problem.  

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 17:09 | 2695381 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Can't answer the question ? I didn't think so. It was probably a bit complicated for you. Have a nice weekend. I'm done with this discussion lest I look like a fool. 

"Never argue with a fool; onlookers may not be able to tell the difference."

Mark Twain

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 19:23 | 2695722 Nevermore Peabody
Nevermore Peabody's picture

If you feed the trolls, they'll never learn to hunt for themselves.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 21:09 | 2695911 MisterMousePotato
MisterMousePotato's picture

Actually, I think people on the left are in fact more stupid; to wit: They seem to support things that are just plain obviously on the face of them bad ideas (i.e., let's bring all the Haitians with AIDS here and take care of them) and also support bad ideas that are just as obviously against their own self-interests (i.e., famously asked of a Marin mother: "Would you be okay if a less qualified minority took your child's place at university?" [In case you don't know, she answered yes.]) People on the right also support some spectacularly bad ideas, too, but usually they have to be (or appear to be) in their own best interests. Lacking the instinct for self-preservation is sort of the quintessentially defining characteristic of the unredeemably stupid lampooned on, e.g., YouTube ("Here, hold my beer" ... .)

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 19:24 | 2695725 ThirdWorldDude
ThirdWorldDude's picture

"Never argue with an idiot: first they take you down to their level, then they beat you with experience"  -  G. Carlin




Enjoy your weekend, everyone!

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 21:34 | 2695988 capitallosses
capitallosses's picture

I thought that was "Never argue with an idiot, first they drag you down to their level, and then they beat you with experience."


OOOPS - TWD beat me to it! Sorry!

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 22:05 | 2696076 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

That's a knock off from Mark Twain's quote which he borrowed from the book of Proverbs.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 17:49 | 2695494 bobnoxy
bobnoxy's picture

Give the Dr. a break. This is his thing. He's likely never been in a real fight, so he gets liquored up in his trailer and comes in here acting tough. It's apparently all he has. He's obviously not all that bright. Humor him and he'll pass out before too long. Everyone else seems to! Humor him, that is.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 17:53 | 2695510 Everybodys All ...
Everybodys All American's picture

He would eat your lunch on most topics.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 17:57 | 2695523 bobnoxy
bobnoxy's picture

It's nice you have someone to look up to, but do you always set the bar so low? I've seen his postings in here daily, like he's got nothing else to do. And virtually all of them were complete nonsense. He's eating something alright, and so are you.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 19:09 | 2695570 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

I would never presume to know anything about the lifestyle of somebody I never met. I may come home to my trailer and get liquored up or maybe just maybe , I might come home to my four bedroom house, my beautiful wife and my three amazing children. Whatever my lifestyle is you don't know,( probably for the best since you seem like a mean person)but you show your colossal ignorance and lack of intellect by presuming you do.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 20:12 | 2695814 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

This is not your beautiful house... & this is not your beautiful wife...


Fri, 08/10/2012 - 20:34 | 2695843 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Man that brings back some memories .... I think ......(that's not quite the way I remember that song ;->) but that was a long time ago and I spent a lot of those days high.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 18:16 | 2695574 fuu
fuu's picture

That was funny.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 17:11 | 2695389 silverserfer
silverserfer's picture

bullshit. youre always bashing the left cocksucker.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 17:20 | 2695409 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Wow your vocabulary and name calling skills are extraordinary! Did you have to go to college for four years or eight years to develop your mastery of the English language?

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 17:56 | 2695520 silverserfer
silverserfer's picture

no  just two turd burgalar.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 18:16 | 2695579 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Must have been a community college.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 19:04 | 2695685 silverserfer
silverserfer's picture

well remember what site your on and roll with the punches softy. It friday and im still at work getting paid to tease the sensitive righty tighties.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 20:35 | 2695759 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

It's by far my favorite site on the web, and I do enjoy a good fight. I prefer that it doesn't get reduced to name calling, but it's no sweat off my back if other people do. I've got a pretty thick skin. Anyway don't work too hard.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 18:18 | 2695583 nmewn
nmewn's picture

lol...notice he didn't say Koch sucker...clearly an educated man ;-)

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 18:52 | 2695658 silverserfer
silverserfer's picture

your snivelry is charming nmewn

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 19:00 | 2695683 nmewn
nmewn's picture

lol...another thing I find fascinating...who's bright idea ("progressives" being the smartest, most caring, emotionally balanced and sentient beings on the planet) was it to use teabagger as a term of derision?

Nicely done ;-)

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 19:50 | 2695781 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

I used to enjoy the gold trolls we had here but these thread jacking assclowns arent even any fun to bitch slap around.


Fri, 08/10/2012 - 20:18 | 2695827 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Mostly I find them amusing in their hypocrisy.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 17:26 | 2695421 Nikao7
Nikao7's picture

Well the left is a sham / charade just like the right....  get a clue


Fri, 08/10/2012 - 17:54 | 2695514 Everybodys All ...
Everybodys All American's picture

This is typical of the left.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 18:21 | 2695592 Grinder74
Grinder74's picture

I know, I know.  Why doesn't anyone ever bash the right cocksucker.  I mean they just keep getting neglected.  I guess that's why you have two cocksuckers though.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 18:33 | 2695614 tenpanhandle
tenpanhandle's picture

is this related to the sperm drinking cure brought up earlier?  And what does all this have to do with olympic comedy?  Must be open mike friday.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 22:35 | 2696144 Arnold
Arnold's picture

Troll( paid or unpaid )? Just thinking of changing careers and wondering how the benifit package is.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 17:00 | 2695351 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

Dr Engali a "right wing idiot"? LOL...

You get the Douchebag Gold Medal for today.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 17:06 | 2695369 crawldaddy
crawldaddy's picture

anyone who equates the stupidity of the right with the left, yeah, as if they are equal,  is without a doubt a self delusional right leaning retard.  I have seen this guys comments for a good while, he is without a doubt one of the worst, least informed commentators on this site. Worst part psrt of that, like many delusional idiots, he has no clue.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 17:39 | 2695461 knightowl77
knightowl77's picture

...."like many delusional idiots, he has no clue." LOL look in the mirror it's you

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 17:06 | 2695371 silverserfer
silverserfer's picture

suck a fat dick neo-con

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 17:31 | 2695436 Lednbrass
Lednbrass's picture

While it is undeniably your right to be a drooling idiot, you abuse the privelege.

Might I recommend DKos, where intellects such as yours are the norm and not the four sigma low end outlier?

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 18:03 | 2695540 silverserfer
silverserfer's picture

dude what are youstill doing on the computer? WWE smackdowns about to start?

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 18:17 | 2695580 neilhorn
neilhorn's picture

This started as a humor posting. "Nazi" bomb any minute now.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 20:32 | 2695847 Deo vindice
Deo vindice's picture

Yeah, it morphed from Friday Humour to Friday Fight Night with considerable ease.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 22:18 | 2696109 Jena
Jena's picture

True.  The fierce "seek help" or "dude, kill yerself" threats are probably forthcoming.  Friday nights and weekends seem to be like that around here these days, as though the new trolls get to stay up late.

We must send for a better batch.  This group is unsatisfying.


Fri, 08/10/2012 - 20:54 | 2695894 erg
erg's picture

You're barely coherent.

What condition do you have again exactly? Palsy, dropsie, delerium tremons? A shrunken occipital lobe? Subdural hematoma?


Fri, 08/10/2012 - 21:37 | 2695997 Acorn10012
Acorn10012's picture

Minimus peckirous??

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 17:56 | 2695519 Everybodys All ...
Everybodys All American's picture

and another radical litters.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 16:55 | 2695329 sickofthepunx
sickofthepunx's picture

they're not stupid, they're just simple.  every principle has to be strung out to it's most extreme application in every circumstance.

it's like kant 's categorical imperitive 


for stupid people


Fri, 08/10/2012 - 16:59 | 2695346 crawldaddy
crawldaddy's picture

but there was a time that people were at least a little bit ahamed of being uneducated, ignorant, and a bit bias.  Now these idiots wear these shortcomings as badges of honor.


As if they are pround to be a moron.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 17:34 | 2695444 RopeADope
RopeADope's picture

“Anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that 'my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.' ” - Isaac Asimov

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 17:38 | 2695460 BigJim
BigJim's picture

 but there was a time that people were at least a little bit ahamed of being uneducated, ignorant, and a bit bias.  Now these idiots wear these shortcomings as badges of honor.

As if they are pround to be a moron.


Fri, 08/10/2012 - 17:44 | 2695481 RSloane
RSloane's picture

Hahaha!! I thought exactly the same thing.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 20:45 | 2695874 bobert
bobert's picture

I'm afraid that the governed (the "entitled) out number the free this year at the polls nmewn.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 21:19 | 2695939 nmewn
nmewn's picture

I'm starting to think not...there is a rumbling I've never seen before.

The generational poor want to know why they are always kept poor. The connected are second guessing their real purpose, status & ultimate destination in life. The middle asks, in even more strident tones, why it is that they have to bear either of the two on their backs.

Its a beautiful thing, just as it should be.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 22:55 | 2696195 bobert
bobert's picture


I'll try to be hopefull again.

All that it would take for me to get really positive is the utterance of "fiscal responsibility" from some leaders in congress.

Take care.

Sat, 08/11/2012 - 07:39 | 2696681 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Fiscal responsibility and taking a meat cleaver to some of the crap they've imposed on us for the last century.

I still say every new law proposed must come with a list of ten existing laws that must be repealed in order for the new one to even be considered.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 19:53 | 2695785 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Oh Jimmy, Shame on you.

Didn't your mother ever teach you to just smile and nod reassuringly when handicapped people fly into histrionics?

Intervention is only called for if they start to hurt themselves or others.

Derision only augments their confusion.

Please try harder to be a good example.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 21:03 | 2695910 takinthehighway
takinthehighway's picture

You forgot..."moron" should be plural, referring to "they"...

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 22:41 | 2696161 neilhorn
neilhorn's picture

irony>spell check. LMAO

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 18:23 | 2695595 eatthebanksters
eatthebanksters's picture

Aren't they?  LOL...

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 17:01 | 2695354 bagehot99
bagehot99's picture

It's odd to me that everybody who disagrees with liberals happens to be stupid. It's almost as though they believe themselves to be superior, and should therefore tell everybody else how to live their lives.

The ultimate triumph of liberal thought - the hate crime. They have made a thought crime, without any awareness of how funny that is.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 17:09 | 2695375 crawldaddy
crawldaddy's picture

you are to dumb to even understand the discussion. What part of live and let live dont you get?  Last I checked its not the liberals trying to force ridiculous religions, dogma, and so forth onto other people. 

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 17:19 | 2695407 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

Wait a second, it is a friday humor thread, so you're joking right?

Nice work. You had me fooled there, as I know any ZHer worth his salt wouldn't be so completely out of touch with reality. 

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 17:23 | 2695415 sdmjake
sdmjake's picture

Yes, live and let live. Along those lines, the folks you call 'righty'probably wish that thought applied to the fruits of their labor (but it isn't THEIR labor is it?). But i'm just arguing a moot point for them...

Ultimately i think most folks here at the ZH don't see it as right v left ...more like US vs THEM. And the "THEM" camp sure likes for "US" to fight about whether its a 'right or left' thing {think divide and conquer}. Allow me to recommend the Red pill...

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 17:35 | 2695449 Gully Foyle
Gully Foyle's picture

“We are born into this time and must bravely follow the path to the destined end. There is no other way. Our duty is to hold on to the lost position, without hope, without rescue, like that Roman soldier whose bones were found in front of a door in Pompeii, who, during the eruption of Vesuvius, died at his post because they forgot to relieve him. That is greatness. That is what it means to be a thoroughbred. The honorable end is the one thing that can not be taken from a man.”
? Oswald Spengler, Man and Technics: A Contribution to a Philosophy of Life

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 17:55 | 2695516 BurningFuld
BurningFuld's picture

I always give an up arrow for your avatar.  Just sayin'.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 18:23 | 2695599 Grinder74
Grinder74's picture

You didn't tap that ass.  The government did it for you.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 17:26 | 2695424 goldm3mb3r
goldm3mb3r's picture

It is "too" dumb. Public school paid off for you?

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 17:36 | 2695448 Pareto
Pareto's picture

How does one go from "It's odd to me that everybody who disagrees with liberals happens to be stupid. It's almost as though they believe themselves to be superior, and should therefore tell everybody else how to live their lives." to "you are to dumb to even understand the discussion".  Is it me, or does the contradiction really only emphasize the stupidity and total lack of intellectual sophistication of zippy the pinhead. aka crawldaddy?

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 17:45 | 2695485 RSloane
RSloane's picture

Spot on.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 18:51 | 2695655 knukles
knukles's picture




What's this about Zippy and Pinheads?

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 20:02 | 2695798 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture


I was hoping you'd turn up at that one.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 18:52 | 2695660 nmewn
nmewn's picture

What's odd to me is "progessives" had two years to turn everything around...had the senate, the house and the presidency.

They were so fucking "smart" they passed "shovel ready jobs" debt bombs and the largest tax increase on the middle class we've ever had, subsidized moonshiners (ethanol), went into competition with slave labor (Solyndra) and broke out their really BIG pom poms for Dodd-Frank.

Think about that, Chris Dodd?...Bwaney Fwank?


A Friend of Angelo and a Friend of "Fannie" was going to stop the criminal element on Wall Street?!?!

(Mumbling, muttering, breaking shit)

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 18:33 | 2695621 eatthebanksters
eatthebanksters's picture

c-daddy...conservatives aren't trying to force anything on anyone...conservatives resist change and cling to tradition, it's what defnes conservatives.  Progressives are all about change...whether I agree with one side or the other is irrelevant but let me give you some examples:  Conservatives want the definition of marriage to stay as it has always been, liberals want to change it to include same sex union...conservatives want the federal govenrment to go back to where it started and that is being much smaller with states haveing greater say in their destiny, liberals want to continue to grow (change) the government...conservatives want taxes to stay the same, not raise (change) them...consrvatives want the right to continue to practice their religous beliefs the way they have always practiced them, liberals want to reduce (change) those rghts...I would really enjoy if if you would point out examples of how and where conservatives are trying to force religion and dogma on others. Thanks.  

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 18:41 | 2695637 tenpanhandle
tenpanhandle's picture

"Last I checked its not the liberals trying to force ridiculous religions, dogma, and so forth onto other people."


When was the last time you checked, in the 1950's?

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 18:09 | 2695556 silverserfer
silverserfer's picture

throughout history liberals are people trying to free themselves from centalized opression from conservaitve religious right types. Centralized governments are conservative as they want to keep the status quo. Liberals push to evolve soceiey. You either want things to stay the same(conserve) or change(liberate)

Historicaly conservatives have been the ones telling people how to lives thier lives thru the church  

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 18:26 | 2695604 Grinder74
Grinder74's picture

Not sure which is worse: the poor grasp of history; or, using the right "their" but still spelling it wrong.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 18:41 | 2695635 HoofHearted
HoofHearted's picture

It's all bad. Now if we want to discuss "classical liberalism," then many of the people here would fit into that category. Trolly above wants to use "liberalism" to mean that Uncle Sugar ought to take care of everything no matter how worthless your lazy ass is. This is not classical liberalism. It's "you didn't build that."

I am a libertarian and a classical liberal. Have at my ass, because I also believe in free speech, even for fucktards who have nothing better to do but write 100 messages on a Friday evening. (I have no life, too, but I'm with my kids watching "Born Free." I know...ironic.)

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 19:42 | 2695721 silverserfer
silverserfer's picture

give this dweeb a sticker! sorry all of us cant get one of them high quality texas edjuamacations with sepcial selected history books like you grinder74

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 19:48 | 2695777 Vlad Tepid
Vlad Tepid's picture

He didn't just spell "thier" wrong:  Count them:







Now I feel dumber for having typed that out.  I'm going to stop now.  I suggest you stop calling people dumb, Silver.  Your flawed logic, historical myopia, and loose grasp of the mechanics of the English language militate against a balanced discussion.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 18:46 | 2695648 tenpanhandle
tenpanhandle's picture

which means todays "liberals" aren't liberal at all.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 19:21 | 2695717 nmewn
nmewn's picture


Todays "liberals" are not liberal at all. They are nanny state "progessives"...meaning a marxist/facsist blend.

Bloomberg is is O'Barry.

How else does one desrcibe protect and expand the state first instead of the people?

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 19:39 | 2695735 silverserfer
silverserfer's picture

dude, really? how can you even use that avitar with that attitude? you think all the succling welfare poor people in this counrty is why this country is an energy consuming empire that has to continualy grow and go to war or colapse? The power elite decide that. Stop putting blame of all the ills of the country on the libs.

Thats like me saying that all conservatives are lazy eyed bible thumpers who give your that fearful chimpanzee glare when you talk about technology and start beating on their bible hard and fast yelling woooh weooh wohh! Must stay same. No change! No change!

That would be rude.


Fri, 08/10/2012 - 19:51 | 2695782 Vlad Tepid
Vlad Tepid's picture

Speaking of animal metaphors, you must have rhino-sized balls to equate others intellects with apes when your ability to spell, punctuate, and capitalize are on par with the best the third grade has to offer.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 20:18 | 2695828 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Koko the talking gorilla would look like Daniel Webster next to this guy.

Goddam kids must have left the ZH door open again.

Squirrels in the attic.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 20:41 | 2695862 nmewn
nmewn's picture

"how can you even use that avitar with that attitude?"

What does this avatar mean to you?

I can assure you it means exactly what it is supposed to mean to me.

Sat, 08/11/2012 - 01:36 | 2696470 awakening
awakening's picture

In the words of Mad Max III - Beyond Thunderdome; "Not shit, energy!"

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 21:41 | 2696008 erg
erg's picture

Avitar? Yours is shovelling your own shit. You've created for yourself your own feedback loop. Succling? It sullies my eyes it does.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 17:51 | 2695502 Titan Uranus
Titan Uranus's picture

Romney didn't say it with a comma after "brothers."

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 16:46 | 2695295 LongSoupLine
LongSoupLine's picture

boy some stupid comments...wait, were these all CNBC commentators?

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 17:48 | 2695493 duo
duo's picture

On Tuesday a Fox News bimbo was handed a kilo gold bar and she asked "how much does this weigh".

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 18:55 | 2695665 AGuy
AGuy's picture

1 Trillion nano-grams!


Fri, 08/10/2012 - 18:59 | 2695677 knukles
knukles's picture

L O fucking L

(thought baloon: betcha she was blonde, too)

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 20:47 | 2695880 Non Passaran
Non Passaran's picture

Close to 10 Newtons?

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 22:30 | 2696133 erg
erg's picture

Newtons are a measure of force. Ya know, when the creeping totalitarianism comes after you.

He got Newtoned.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 16:46 | 2695297 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Man that was some funny shit.

Curious thing wife stopped kissing my balls once we got married.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 17:28 | 2695426 JohnG
JohnG's picture

I'd say that's a fairly common side effect of marriage.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 17:32 | 2695438 HungrySeagull
HungrySeagull's picture

And started busting them I bet.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 18:06 | 2695549 Titan Uranus
Titan Uranus's picture

Yeah, I know.  She stopped kissing mine too...

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 19:01 | 2695686 knukles
knukles's picture

Hey waaaaait....

Are we talkin' about the same woman, Mrs. Whazzername?

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 19:47 | 2695775 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Lol I hope she stopped kissing yours, I wouldn't want you having any unfair advantage.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 18:53 | 2695662 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

I was always told it wasn't the balls but the size of the racquet that counted. I was told to avoid tennis and try handball...

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 16:48 | 2695303 Piranhanoia
Piranhanoia's picture


Fri, 08/10/2012 - 16:50 | 2695314 boiltherich
boiltherich's picture

"Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew."


NO WONDER Rumel had a boner!

This is a case where being able to post a photo would come in real handy, though I understand why that can't be allowed. 

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