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Friday Humor Part 2 - The (Insolvent) World According To Angela
Because maybe, just maybe, the woman tasked with bailing out Europe would at least know where it is.
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priceless
No, not priceless -- despicable, but at the very least worth a few silver eagles of humor. The irony in this world is so thick you could carve a coin out of it.
http://comparesilverprices.com
I can see Moscow from my kitchen sink!
- Sarah Merkel
Germany in Russia? Freudian slip. Komrad Angela is moving Europe toward a centralisation Komrad Joe would have been proud of.
Wow -- so Operation Barbarossa was all just a big misunderstanding!
That kooky German GPS just gets everyone into trouble....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGwORpJs96E
Bush Gropes Merkel to LudacrisThat map on the wall was
drawn up by Nigerians.
Get a life!
Better than getting barfed on during a state dinner by the george bush senior
You see, zombies posing as human beings have a difficult time approximating with spatial relations. If it were human, it would know where Berlin is because that is where it lives. Kind of like a CAPTCHA.
Sometimes, I miss the CAPTCHAs.
I hate them. Especially the ones that aren't actual words and look like there was a bottle of ink spilled on it. I guess on over half of them.
420 always worked
420 is a state of mind.
Yes, Nirvana is a state of mind.
I always had the hots for the blonde one in the middle, awesome butt...
Europe is a country
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ANTDkfkoBaI
I have to move..
Too much water at 14 feet under the house..
Gotta go.. deeper.
If you listen closely and understand German, Merkel whispers "So where is the Berlin Wall then?"
I guess the education system in East Germany was better at indoctrination than education. Or perhaps Merkel went to Harvard.
Tina Fey-Merkel. Except she probably wouldn't know a kitchen sink from Alec Baldwin's mouth.
Knuckles, actually TINA Merkel. - Ned
she is an east german communist....this was her education. the world revolves around moscow....not berlin or london or new york. she took her lessons very well, don't you think comrade putin?
can you stop spamming your site in every thread it gets a bit dull
Dull trollz, dull trollz--can't be Johnny b--he wasn't a PM kinda' thang. Unless ??????
- Ned
" On a clear day in Germany, you can see forever. But, it all looks Greek to me. "
More Angela Merkel comedy:
http://www.planbeconomics.com/2012/05/18/german-chancellor-merkel-dont-stand-in-my-way-and-hurry-up/
like the barbourous relics... she was pointing to her stash places,
It's 4 o'clock on Wall Street....almost time for some shit to hit the fan!
Note to wall street- Don't do your blow by a fan.
Also- stay away from windows.
Dude, she is just doing her Miss America schtick.
Oh how we laughed.
hahahahahaha
Unf$%@*&g believable...
Now where did I put my belly button?
She'll need a mirror to do that, can't see down past here fat chest. Lots of junk in that trunk.
Could she find her ass with her hands?
If she had more hands....
Good to know you're still alive, Elwood. Haven't heard that name since '62. Take me to your leader...
The question, Elwood, is could you find her ass with your hands?
Or would you be distracted by those creamy white sun never lit, no man's hand ever touched soft cellulite enhanced upper thighs?
I'll betcha that she's got enough cellulite to repack all four wheel bearings on my Jaguar.
Dimpled thighs travel twice as fast as non dimpled thighs, which makes pelvic thrusting 1 over the square root of two times more powerful than your standard, cellulite free thigh (measured thrust myself using a fish scale). Also, cellulite minimizes two bodies rubbing against each other induced farting sounds...
the bigger the cushion, the better the pushin'
I love science.
Thanks, Big Greenie!
Jaguar? You must be dentist?
Dentist?
Dentist!
God, that's embarrassing.
I've been called many things before, but never, a Dentist.
(soft whimpering sounds)
No worries. I was just jealous, anyway. Pale-blue metallic XK-R with beige leather would really go well with my character. ;-)
Jealous? You too can lease one. British cars and trucks suck. I have a Defender sitting in my garage that I hardly drive because it's built like crap. Ram diesel is the way to go.
Ram is the way to go if the way you wanna go is the way a canal boat goes. ;-)
Also, plastic inside is something I would expect on a TicTac box, not a car. ;-)
Yes, British cars are hilariously unrealiable. But, undeniably cool.
Here's my truck.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=9jYwzk-G4Q8
Here's my truck moving like a canal boat.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K1FFK1-Yk3M&feature=related
OK. It moves like a fast canal boat. I'll give you that.
But, I bet some canal boats corner better. ;-)
Here's the "plastic" interior you mentioned. If you sat in this baby, you'd never want to go home.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mKcTZ7Pl7w0
Please... that thing looks like the cab of a Russian tractor compared to a GMC Sierra Denali.
didn't sarkozy tag her with "unfckable lard ass" ?
I think that's what Carla said about Sark. Jack fathered her kid.
WHOA!
SARKO'S MERKEL'S LOVE CHILD DADDY?
Or burn it for energy, Jawohl!
This is actually more frightening than funny. Didn't hitler want to make a "new berlin". MK-ULTRA response from merkle?
Yeah, exactly...these high ranking politicians smoke alot of weed and do alot of illegal drugs!
So do some of us ZH posters, to no fault I might add. I still remember my 3rd geography.
you have got to be kidding me
Remember that commercial from the 1980's with a guy cracking an egg and frying it in a pan and saying something like "this is your brain on drugs"?...This reminds me of that!
Forget the goddamn commercial, what about those crap videos that makes a whole class sleep saying "NO!"
What? We do have a choice to say no?! OMG! SQUEAL!!!
/sarc
Oh bugger, she is an U.S. agent provocateur... 8-/
Next she'll find out it was even closer all those years she spent in the Deutsche Demokratic Republic!
Deutsche Dramatishe Republic!
Westphalian sovereignty and the federation of Europe into Charlemagne's dream. The choice that has been haunting the nations of Europe for over a thousand years. Angela now has to decide if she is daughter of Kaiseridée or of Catherine the Great who decided that her's (as Germany's) true future lay to the great Eastern Expanse of Russia, and its RM treasures.
If Europa breaks about Greece and Euro golden fleece turning to lead then Germany has to charter new course....tipping times and eastern chimes.
Personally I don't see Europe dying, the Euro in its current form probably. Collateral damage of crash of anglo capitalism. A new page, whatever happens will now open.
To be fair, Europe is lots of little countries, you can easily miss one like Germany when you're looking at the map of the continent.
Go ask one of these heads of state like Mitt Romney or Nancy Pelosi where their off shore tax havens are, and they have the accuracy that could save Amelia Earhart, Tom Hanks, and the cast of lost ....
Yup! They can navigate there blindfold. Like pigeons.
Nancy has all her assets tied up in Botox futures except for a fishy thing in Guam. Mitt has accounts in all 57 states, plus the US Virgin Islands and Puerto Rico.
And don't compare either to pigeons, because - unlike Nancy or Mitt - the birds can use quantum physics to navigate. Nancy only navigates to the left, and Mitt flip-flops from one direction to the other depending on which way the wind is blowing.
Guam? Is that the name of her shorts?
57 states, wow, I guess I just had a Merkel moment.
That's the poorest excuse for being bad in geography. Sit down. C.
Geography would be much easier if those continents would stop drifting around so fast.
Obviously sarcasm.......isn't it? Sure it is.
She have a Doctorate degree in Physics, and you ?
Master in electronic engineering. Though, I liked architecture. But, can't draw a straight line, so failed the entry exam...
BTW, why do you ask?
I could never find a sinus rhythm and couldn't be a doctor or a drummer. I have a weird pain when I do this doc, what should I do?
Stop doing that.
They have an app for that, it's called Paint.
I have some qualifications relevant to my profession.
They should have hung the map upside down to see if she would notice.
"Merkel moves Berlin to Russia"
Moscow already tried that in 1961. Didn't work, courtesy of Air Transport Command.
Berlin Airlift, 1948-1949. Another of Harry Truman's good ideas.
I gotta go to college.
Oh Danny, you don't HAVE to go to college, this isn't Russia...is it?...is this Russia?...this isn't Russia.
I can see Russia from my house in Berlin? OMFG who knew!!
It's 4:17 Friday Afternoon. Do you know where Jon Corzine is?
Three minutes from lighting one up?
Dont worry. Obama would fail the same test.
I'm sure his teleprompter could find all 57 states - or maybe 58 if we've added Kenya yet.
Maps and swimming. Kryptonite.
"And here, Lady Merkel, our mercantislist policy is expected to bear fruits in six months, ruining the economy and offering us the opportunity of pushing for supremacy.
-Ah, good.
"
Merkel says 'Fuck geography it's Friday...Let's Dance!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sv-0XjrBVT0
And I thought Merkel was actually one exception out of the retarded politicians in Europe. I should have known, a person with the religous beliefs of the despicable Martin Luther has to be a little crazy in the upper room.
Ms. Merkel, Germany hasn't occupied that territory since 1945...
"Occupied?"
HAH.. more like ground into a blot in the snow and disinfected from the area by hordes.
Napoleon tried the same, only to sit in Moscow and starve while the defenders waited elsewhere.
She doesn't know where Russia is, but I bet she knows where Greece is.
No no no no no, that's Narnia! Over here, near The Land of Moron, is the country you seek!
I love to see these so called "leaders" fuck up
I wonder what map her handlers use to brief her.
Maybe Adolf's?
+1, the darn news person tricked her!
Adolf knew where both Greece and Russia were. He sent his Wehrmacht band to both on goodwill visits in the early 1940s. Neither appreciated his version of heavy metal.
tyler found angela!
L0L!!!
later, she may try to tell time from those clock-like thingies on the map?
if anything happens toTeller, angela could work w/pennJillette! be like the old daze w/ sarko for her!
At least our president knows where Kenya is.
Are you sure of that?
Maybe that's why the bio changed. He realized he couldn't find Kenya on a map, but he could find Hawaii.
In fact, he probably looked at a map like this (http://quickfacts.census.gov/qfd/maps/hawaii_map.html), saw eight islands, and counted each as a separate state. That explains how he got to 57!
A fine example of the brain trust we have elected to run the world circus.
Someone needs to strap that sack of meat to a car hood and drive through a cactus patch.
http://youtu.be/4Q4biCA3u9g
a freudian slip? ;-)
Somewhere in Europe tonight sleeps the Great Catholic Monarch.
When his moment comes, all this eye-wash will be wiped away.
You just can't make this shit up; how fucking stupid is she? But don't worry, she's leading Europe out of the abyss. Some days I weep for the future.
http://vegasxau.blogspot.com
she's what you would call 'smelf smart' ...... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VAlBvxjApf4
someone seems to be offended, everywhere a -1. lol
Somehow poor old Charlie Chaplin in "The Great Dictator" comes to mind...
Sarah Palin just offered her consulting sevices, for a fee. She can see Russia from anywhere.
it is like the old joke that all volkswagens have their gps set towards poland....
No, it's the very metal that made them.
If you aint grown up inside a little bug of the 60's vintage you aint living.
Cupcakes made after 1985 don't count
But, can she find Jon Corzine? Seems nobody else can........
Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego ?
With Waldo?
I think she was just making fun of herself. C'mon, they know geography - even after surviving the DDR school system. I am not fun of Merkel but I am sure she knows the basic geography.
I hope she can look at the map and figure out that the northern part of Europe without France and other Club Med countries would do much better in an economic block on its own. Even the former communist countries are doing much better than the Club Med.
France can print their own eurobonds as much as she wants. Good luck in finding the buyers.
if she was trying to be funny, she woulda pointed at athens
It's Nach der Oesten again! :)
Notice there's no sound? Any 5th grader can add sub-titles. Not sure what's fumnier. The clip or peoples gullibility.
Check your speakers. Or your ears.
What she means to say is:I am going to make germany like a centrally planned politbureau state, like this one
Which one? USA?
seems germany will never give up a desire for russia. take europe first, mother merkel. save russia for later.
Yes. Go with the U.K. first this time, please.
MUch to do about nothing!
Don't know much about history
Don't know much biology
Don't know much about a science book
Don't know much about the French I took
...
Don't know much about geography
Don't know much trigonometry
Don't know much about algebra
Don't know what a slide rule is for
Sam Cooke - Wonderful World
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNO72aCnVr0
pin the tail on the donkey
These people always get too much credit. All you have to do is look at the decisions they make and the things they say and know they are idiots being led around like a monkey on a string.
Matter of fact the only way to get ahead today in political office is to be stupid, never think for yourself, never listen to the people you are suppose to serve, and do whatever your banker masters tell you to do.
Idiots, one and all!
Nah, it's correct, she's just projecting what the 5th Reich will look like.
One night when Sarko went down on me I swear I could see Moscow. I suppose that's over with this boring Hollande
Oh dear, there goes the European idea that only Americans cannot find their own country on the map. Or was this a leftover of German "Drang nach Osten"?
And here I thought there was just a tectonic shift in finance.
Yeah, Angela beeing funny in front of an audience which knows well the geography of Europe. Thats why all laughed. Its just a German joke, which means you need a certain level of intelligence to understand it. Everybody in Germany knows, that Angela studied in Russia as a communist youth cadre. So, she has really a sense of humor when pretending not to find Moscow on the map.
However, Angela is much better at making trouble for the US/UK banking industry. Because she is best friend with Hollande and dont worry Eurobonds are going to come in a not so far future. But before a finance transaction tax is going to be introduced in Europe the Tobin tax. And the revenues of this tax, its expected to be in many billions (having in mind the HFT and currency trading in London which is 80% in Euros denominated), this revenue is then forwarded to Greece and other EU countries in need. So in the end, the banks do help Greece again, but this time not with a credit but with non refundable cash. Isnt it funny. Its is, but only not for the UK finance fraud industry. huhhuhuhu
The playscript is as follows: Hollande and Monti want Eurobonds. Merkel and other do not like it. At least this is the official version. But, be careful, this is another German joke from Angela, that is very clear to notice if you know Angela like the Germans do.
So: The way it works out is as follows:
The EU is making a big move forward to become the USE by introducing some kind of fiscal union. An then Merkel can sell this to the Germans that Eurobonds are becoming a reality, because of the fiscal union which means more Europe and lesser Germany. This is something the Germans can accept, because more Europe was always good for them during the last 60 years.
Together with the fiscal union more power has to be granted to Strasbourg to the European parliament.This is for the majority of the Germans also not a problem.
It will be Strasbourg a city in France becoming the capital of Europe, where the EU finance ministry and the EU foreign ministry is going to be located. Not Brussels, thats sure. Once these two pillars are erected, then USE is existing. Central Finance and Central Foreign policy this is it what makes the base for a united Europe. The rest is not that important anymore. It just follows slowly over time.
Hurry up Investors of this world, buy real estate in Strasbourg now, its going o boom soon.
She knows Russia very well. She speaks excellent Russian and won a Russian language championship in school. The price was a visit to the comrades in Moscow!
This is mind blowing....