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Friday Humor Part 2 - TBTRIMJOB
In a day when many could do with some cheering up, here is some bonus humor courtesy of some truly delightful headline editing at Reuters.
Which begs the question: Is there such a thing as a RIM Job which is just too big, and, on a serious note, will Canada step in and bail out the troubled electronics company?
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Rim jobs feel good.
The secret service is being disbanded?
OT - No faceplant posts on ZH the entire day. d
Down 6.66%
will Canada step in and bail out the troubled electronics company?
Step back!!!
I gotz this
Well, if you were good at your RIM job, you could always apply to be a Sachs worker.
Top worst names for websites
Work Safe Rim job image:
http://x77.xanga.com/26ee120430435274381818/w218735465.jpg
RIM is also an acronym for Records and Information Management. We've got a lady in her late 50's here at work who writes articles for our employee newsletter on managing records.
Not one, but two articles so far have used this phrase. I keep debating on whether or not to tell her, or just keep enjoying the articles.
Oh, and expertsexchange is about the worst damn help site on the web. I've got it black-listed in my google search results, as it's always at the top.
I suppose it might be an urban legend, but there is a story that when British electricity company Powergen set up an Italian subsidiary, it named that subsidiary Powergen Italia. The website was www.powergenitalia
If it isn't true, it ought to be.
Or, appropriately, "Se non è vero, è ben trovato"
You have to go through intensive tainting to move from Rimm to Sachs.
Edit: ohh....I meant intensive training
The new model phone is called the dingleberry. No manuel included.
Just remember this rule when it comes to RIM JOBS:
If you've been married longer than 4 or 5 years, ask your girlfriend, not your wife. Odds of getting a job go up dramatically with that method.....
If you're not married and just dating, well, most of the time you don't even have to ask.........you'll get a job regardless; but remember it's in anticipation of getting married someday.........
Oh, so that is why the bride is always smiling...she knows that the RIM Jobs are almost over.
JUst like NORTEL right?
Problem with Canadian companies is success goes to their head, and they forget there are too many smart people with a lot of dough and resources out there; APPLE comes to mind and CISCO and JUNIPER and all the others that sealed Nortel's death knell...
RIM's the same, for a long time they said, the corporate market wil keep us going, and while they do offer value for some secure minded corporations and governments, they will become a niche player and be absorbed by someone else just like Tandem Computers and many other successful niche players who hoped to one day conquer the word as they were full of it!!!!! success got to their heads and they got swalllowed up whole not unlike some other lttle fish in the ocean!!
Mark, you are at Bilderberg today for a reason. This can wait.
Focus!
At least the TSA can grab these guys real cheap.
6000 RIM jobs- a precursor to a gay wedding invitation.....
as in got RIMMED ? or what do you mean?
Hey now! It could happen at a hetero wedding too.
After all, would it really be any worse than the Duck Dance?
Damnit, now I can't get that song outta my head!
+ earworm
"Rim jobs feel good."
On the (w)hole, I'd say you're correct.
*rimshot*
See something say something.
Sheriff Stan Barry of Fairfax County Virgina would become the most famous Sheriff in America overnight if he would take his forces to the Westfields Marriott and investigate criminal activity there.
Call Fairfax County Virgina Sheriff's office and report criminal activity at the Builderberg meeting.
Multiple violations of federal law are taking place there, specifically of the Logan Act.
Sedition and treason are being perpetrated by elected government officials, one namely Senator John Kerry at attendance plotting criminal activity against the USA.
Call Sheriff Stan Barry, demand he do his duty and arrest those Federal government officials for violating US Law!
http://www.fairfaxcounty.gov/sheriff/contactus.htm
This is also criminal activity perpetrated by the Builderberg people.
Bilderberg Members Discuss Killing Ron Paul
http://www.infowars.com/insider-bilderberg-members-share-ron-paul-death-wish/
R u going? I was thinking about it as I'm only a couple hours north (in Philly area) and have an RV to go down there with. Would like to see Alex and the rest of the InfoWars team. I'd also like to see 10s of thousands of people show up and create complete havoc - I think it ends officially tomorrow eod. I sent an email via the contactus link you provided above - thanks for doing this. +1
Please go! I would if I were that close.
Sexy is a feather.
Perverted is the entire chicken.
Unless you're a chicken, too.
Then just a 'feather' is damn creepy.
Maybe they can find work at Tender Greens tossing salad.
This is amazing.
Oh, and some jobs are just TOO big to rim. Welcome to obese America.
it's Bilderberg...not "Builderberg"...
Just sayin...
Freudian slip, Bob the Builder is the lead of this conspiracy.
you mean Friday-ian slip...
Actually I believe it's spelled "Destructerberg"
Can't stop the bleeding!
SOLD !!! !!! SOLD !!! !!! SOLD !!!!
something is defiantely cumming soon !!
Better than 6000 tossed salads
Oh how ever will Congress manage without their 600 rim jobs?
Blackberry rim jobs at that. hacka-phoeey!
Whiteberries are bad enough, but black ones? That's just nasty.
Trust me, it is no unfortunate editing. It is completely and totally on purpose. Most journalists dream of being able to pull that through.
Almost like splicing in a peter shot into the end of a movie eh?
Double entendre street cred, FTW!
Ha! That is fucking great... the naivety of the MSM will never cease to amaze.
Thanks for sharing, that gem and some Scotch will do wonders.
roflmao!
oh stop with the rim job jokes!
then the chicken joke above.
thank you.
thank you.
thank you.
i try my best to bring humor and fun to this dark time, but thank you all so much for being so fun also.
as we all learn in "ivory towers". f u n ::: is unbelivable nightmare.
this is a nightmare. but there is one thing. paper and its ties burn.
and from Joe Kidd: "You see ... about those records..... there was a fire."
bless
you
all
...i was almost cheered up too...
...even tho tyler was not able to stifle the canadian bailout line...
...and invited more pre-dictionz...
...like tiny bubbles...
Wonder if MDB is dollar cost averaging this one?
Check out Rimm's new dingleberry line.
I'm wating for the 3PM rumor. Fecebook had a nice $.78 pop right after 2:00 but it looks like the 10% jump like yesterday got cut short, but we'll have to wait a few minutes to see if the full retard market bids it up once again.
Can a freak storm please hit the Bildeberg meeting, please.
There is a Severe Thunderstorm Warning and Tornado Warning in that area right now.
Time to call in the reinforcements.
Prayer Assault!
http://gifcrap.com/v/TV/Prayer+assault.gif.html
Since we're all out of ZIRPs, can a brother get an amen?
Laid off?
Unexpectedly downsized
that's what "she" said.
Go long on rim jobs!
I'm going long just reading about RIM jobs ....
Anyone seen Larry Summers lately?
saw him up the horse's ass
Careful what you ask
Draw baby, draw!
He's at the Bilderberger confab pouring gasoline on the fire.
Vocabulary of a Harvard PhD? That's amazing, he can say "Fuck those muppets- print it," "Blow," and "Hookers" too?
What's the hourly rate for the service provider in the photo?
If you have to ask...
She's looking for Mr Goldfinger.
Anybody observed the photo depicts "Lack Berry" :) :)
Just sayin' rimjob makes me feel dirty. :-)
headline: 6000 rim jobs out the poop chute
RYIRX = I need no cheering up, but thanks anyway.
Nanny Bloomberg today:
"New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg offered a full-throated defense of his proposed ban on large-size sugary sodas on Friday, calling criticism of the proposal "ridiculous" and saying his city is again leading the way in taking on critical health issues."
Yes, he said that with a straight face. Because, you see, he's Very Serious about health in NYC. No Big Gulp for you fatty!
This from the same insane prick who's helped let the Heroes of 9/11 die sick & penniless due to air they breathed trying to clean up after Larry Silverstein's latest foray into Insurance Fraud.
No double standard there, eh Mikey? P-I-G.
6000 RIM jobs lost?! This really chafes my ass!
Wipe first next time, maybe with some aloe and witch hazle. I guess people have been using apple's to get the job done too.
I LOLed.
Does this mean IBM will start building computers again instead of the People's Liberation Army?
Will Brother typewriters start rolling off the line again?
Will Apple start aligning with reality and have unemployed college students make iPhone's in Cupertino?
Only 6,000 jobs? Add those to HP's -27,000 jobs and it's only 33,000 - according to the B.L.S. and economists a statistical error range or meaningless as far as "people" are concerned.
Nortel didn't get bailed out, so I doubt RIM will. I bet Canada only bailed out GM due to threats from America.
No union jobs to be blackmailed into saving at RIM....so no, our govt won't act.
And for a change their inaction will be the correct action plan (even if only by accident).
You're forgetting that RIM is a government contractor. While that could change, I'd bet they're going to be around for a while yet. Government is slow to change.
That does not mean you should invest in them, of course. While I like my Blackberry well enough, they've lost a lot of their market share already, and that doesn't look like it's about to get better in the near future. I could easily see them as a gov't-owned GM-type entity or a small remnant focused on encypted communication for politicos, though. Lots of companies drag on for years after they should have died because they got their hooks into the pork barrel.
if there's ANYONE who would willingly and voluntarily step up for 6,000 RIM jobs..... it's a rightwinger. PM Harper would kill to be first in line (because that's when the flavor is the best)......mmmm TASTY!
libertarians can have sloppy seconds
This blackberry crevise bomb is gonna be messy until the streaming runoff from this expulsion of cellular leftovers is rehypothecated into a greasy paste. After it dries up, at least then it will be easier to pick away at the remaining bits of valuble assets.
Why would I need cheering up?
Just because I'm unemployed during the worst time to look for jobs in three years?
I'm eating chocolate ice cream as we speak, so I am doing quite fine, thank you.
Poor arseholes
Rim job = Tongue-in-cheek?
Dammit.
Beat me to it.
Well they do call them CRACKberries for a reason..................
Release the Krakenberries!
Federal Finance Minister says no bailout to RIM (http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2012/05/31/rim-bailout-jim-flaherty_n_15599...)....alternate plan (nudge, nudge, wink, wink) will be to... hire JPMorgan and RBC because THAT will fix things!
Pfft...I thought this would be a story about Ted Haggard evangelizing on the Metro.
New jobs opening up in sphincter massage.
This joke is in bad taste. No really, it tastes bad.
Oof!
Rim jobs, tea baggers, tossed salad?
You people are a bunch of freaks!
Cere, find me a date tonight...
I prefer jelly . . .
I love how they have a woman in the picture with long hair. Maybe Italian? But serious foreign chicks are fine with this and so are right wing conservative Catho-lick women who will do anything to avoid intercourse.
Jewish girls won't do it prior to getting married but if anyone has experience that differs let me know.
But to the point, wasn't there an XRAY picture floating aroung the web a few years ago where someone indeed had placed a blackberry up their ass? Maybe that is the true Rim job? Maybe all along RIM was like some PETA star trying to save the lives of gerbils once fuzzy weasel at a time?
Careful, don't give out the location of said rim jobs, people might misread the headline and start lining up.
I thought Madonna had already retired.
hahahaha f*ck yes
It sounds like a shitty job anyway. I say that tongue in cheek
Groan and groan.