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Friday Humor: Unspinning The "€100 Bill" Or How The European Bailout REALLY 'Works'

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Fri, 12/30/2011 - 15:49 | 2022271 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

I hope he fired his broker

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 16:05 | 2022316 Misean
Misean's picture

Yeah, and hired the hooker.

Sat, 12/31/2011 - 23:53 | 2024297 Buck Johnson
Buck Johnson's picture

No kidding, also this won't be with Greece only.

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 17:07 | 2022455 vast-dom
vast-dom's picture

Let's keep it country simple and let the humor verge on frustrated nervous laughter like so: hire whores and do a lot of coke and commit senseless acts of hubris in your narcissistic feeble little world all as you continuosly fuck up your books while shifting and offloading your toxic losses into your shadow books then get government hand-outs courtesy of the illegal Fed (which is essentially one big shadow book of radioactive derivatives and toxic shit and smelly cheats) and the criminal Bernank which is to say, you lobby for your free funds by virtue of positioning and politicking. The equivalent of essentially printing your own money when need be as you continue to fuck everything and everyone up! How to package derivatives of ineptitude? Look to TeH FeD 101 QE $kaM as controlled by teh banks -- a perfect circular scam that overrides all economic systems save for tyranny.

Gots to love it. Happy New Year! No Friday mirth like the simple obvious facts! 

 

Oh and it's only a matter of time before the german's bomb the fuck out of that inn and then the rest of the islands!!!!! Germans are many things, but generally speaking gullible ain't one of 'em.

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 19:15 | 2022794 rocker
rocker's picture

The really sad part is that Goldman Sachs rules the world. Germans included.  No Contagion ............

John Browne was on Bloomberg today spouting how the U.S. banks have 10 trillion in derivatives on European Swaps.  Hmmmm.

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 19:34 | 2022825 Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

But they are obedient slaves who will do as told.

It has been this way for thousands of years.

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 20:15 | 2022885 knukles
knukles's picture

See... so the devoted student of Paul "Grand Asshole of E-con-comics" Krugman would say: "Just proves, we gotta issue more debt and print more money.  Am I the only fucker who understands Keynesian economics?"" 

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 21:21 | 2023004 1fortheroad
1fortheroad's picture

I dont see the problem, that 100 didnt create any debt and many people did get paid for their services.

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 21:54 | 2023057 knukles
knukles's picture

Actually, great observation.
Wonderful demonstration of an instantaneous increase in Velocity.  Now imagine that happening with all the net free reserves in the global banking system being enjoined in the process.

Shazaam!

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 22:30 | 2023107 Al Gorerhythm
Al Gorerhythm's picture

Sixpence none the wiser. 

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 15:52 | 2022281 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

Funny... cause it's true.

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 21:40 | 2023035 malek
malek's picture

If Greece remains only halfway how it was 10 years ago, Greece would be about the last European country in which an innkeeper completely rips you off like that... by my own experience.

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 15:52 | 2022283 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

And than the germans return in stucka bombers and level the town....

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 19:01 | 2022762 i_fly_me
i_fly_me's picture

+1939

-1 for the beer spray on my screen.

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 15:54 | 2022286 Scirocco
Scirocco's picture

Someone just freaked out - explains oil smackdown

 

Iran’s Navy Chief Says Iran Doesn’t Mean to Close Strait: Xinhua 

 

Web link: http://bit.ly/tIldjw

 

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 16:07 | 2022321 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

CFR rebuts- 'We want war with Iran now'

 

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 17:10 | 2022483 css1971
css1971's picture

Care to decode:

?? ????????URL?????

 

for me? I understood "URL" if that helps.

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 15:55 | 2022287 The Reich
The Reich's picture

Reality divided by one billion. 

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 15:56 | 2022291 Agent P
Agent P's picture

Wait a minute...are you telling me there are prostitutes out there that provide services on credit?

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 16:10 | 2022331 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

the decoupling of "credit" and "plastic"

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 16:41 | 2022408 taniquetil
taniquetil's picture

the coupling of "credit" and "silicon"

 

Fixed that for you

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 16:14 | 2022340 Return2Sanity
Return2Sanity's picture

In this country, prostitutes who provide services on credit are known as politicians.

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 22:51 | 2023128 Al Gorerhythm
Al Gorerhythm's picture

In this country, are the people who accept their services aware that they (politicians) are prostitutes or do they think they just got lucky?

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 22:12 | 2023078 philipat
philipat's picture

Yes, they are called Central Bankers?

Sat, 12/31/2011 - 01:55 | 2023285 vast-dom
vast-dom's picture

no credit needed when the taxpayer foots the hooker tabs.

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 16:02 | 2022293 DormRoom
DormRoom's picture

I'm glad you wrote this.  It Explains how financial churn may increase GDP from investments, but not productive enterprises.   The disconnect between between money-par-production-value & money-par-synthetic-flow has widen with the debt super bubble.

 

If the churn stops, no one can roll over, collateral chains are shortened, and it is game over (money flow collapses back to the most efficient, competitive, & productive ongoing concerns, which modern finance is not.  But the chimera that is retail/investment too big to fail banks, implies a huge real economic collapse).

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 16:04 | 2022312 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

The broker's example is decent in respect that it shows how debt/credit has no value- people just hand them out like cupcakes at a tailgater.

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 16:10 | 2022334 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

Not for regular folk they don't. At least not anymore. You'd think they'd just go back to matching savers and borrowers, safe mediation and risk management, but no. The unwind of the derivatives market will bring this all to light soon so now it all really makes no difference.

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 16:14 | 2022343 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Water, water everywhere...but not a drop to drink.

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 16:24 | 2022365 LowProfile
LowProfile's picture

The broker's example decent in that respect (that it shows how debt/credit has no value), but in one important other aspect, it is pure unadulterated bullshit because IT ASSUMES NO TAXES.

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 16:33 | 2022388 Big Swinging Richard
Big Swinging Richard's picture

True dat, but Greeks don't pay taxes anyhow.

Sat, 12/31/2011 - 05:47 | 2023395 WakeyWakey
WakeyWakey's picture

AND ASSUMES NO INTEREST

This is an economist fantasy land that bankers must have sold to politicians to get bailouts. It is a version of the money multiplier without interest that banks use to make a loan that then goes into another bank as a deposit to make another loan.

The reality is people mostly owe money to banks who charge interest and bills due to other companies are usually settled through banks who take another slice.

The broker example only works because the banks aren't involved...so why give the bailout money to the banksters? If it had gone to the people this mess would all be over.

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 15:58 | 2022298 pods
pods's picture

My mental image of life is that the banksters are the ones holding the shotguns, and we are poor Ned Beatty scampering up that hill in vain.

pods

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 16:30 | 2022379 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Just put an arrow thru their neck.

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 15:58 | 2022299 Dick Darlington
Dick Darlington's picture

Maybe Mutti Angela is that gullible, with all her insane political ambitions and what not, but are the Germans, the real people, willing to foot the rehypothecated bill from here to eternity? I doubt it and the germans should too. The truth is they don't have the resources. Period.

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 16:52 | 2022445 boattrash
boattrash's picture

I think the Germans will do it. They know 1 population that will follow up to bail THEM out, U.S. FUCK!

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 16:01 | 2022306 QuietCorday
QuietCorday's picture

The problem with this parable is even simpler than that, namely ...

Who the hell puts a 100 euro note on a counter when he walks into a hotel?

 

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 16:03 | 2022309 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

DSK.

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 19:23 | 2022788 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

the large Hotel chains swipe your card for £$€400.00 on check-in ...just in case you drink the £$€40.00 in the minbar dry and piss all over the bed, carpets and walls presumably

The Sheraton hotel wouldn't let me into a pre-paid room while my card wasn't working even though i promised, and even offered to sign a contract, i wouldn't touch their precious minbar

4 hours of total farce from these Sheraton anal retentives and they'll never get my business again in 40 years

Here's Gerald Celente having 'issues' getting $10k of his own money out of HSBC Bank. The banking tossers want to know what you're going to do with your own money?!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cu0h6Y8RQqo&feature=youtu.be

BIG (hotels, banks, credit card Co's, retailers, Utilities, Govt, anything) ..they can all GF themselves

Sat, 12/31/2011 - 07:52 | 2023432 Treason Season
Treason Season's picture

One of Celente's better rants. Thanx

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 16:04 | 2022315 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

And.....its gone.

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 16:06 | 2022319 Gubbmint Cheese
Gubbmint Cheese's picture

I am so sick of that god damned e-mail.. each time I get it.. I shake my head at how stupid the schmarmy bullshit 'solution' is. Yeah.. it's THAT easy..f*ing morons.

 

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 16:10 | 2022325 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Sure! Its so easy! Just print a 100 Euro bill and pay everyone off! Likewise, in a starving village, just buy 1 cheeseburger and tell everyone to pass it on down the line until they give it back to you....VOILA....everyones fed because they touched a burger!

I've got that same email from about 10 giddy doofuses as well, pisses me off.

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 17:05 | 2022471 css1971
css1971's picture

Actually it is that easy.

The problem is that 98% of EU money is based on debt, the leverage is 50:1 or higher. That 100 euro note has to pass through 50 pairs of hands, paying off debts as it goes.

The solution is sane leverage: 2:1 or less. God damn, it just ban fractional reserve banking.

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 16:08 | 2022323 Misean
Misean's picture

Ah, the perpetual motion ponzi machine meets entropy...

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 16:10 | 2022330 jmcadg
jmcadg's picture

If the Greek Innkeeper had been thinking on his feet he would have re-re-super-ultra-hypothecated the €100 to pay off his debt and still have enough to buy a monster box or two.

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 16:11 | 2022336 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

He simply didnt apply enough leverage. Stupid Greek.

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 16:36 | 2022396 QuietCorday
QuietCorday's picture

And you know what else?

Any decent hotel owner with debts and vacancies in a depressed economy would have said to the German: "Maybe you are not so impressed with the room, okay, but what about for 100 euros for two nights? Or 80 euros for one night? Or you can stay again for free if you pay to stay tonight, I have this loyalty system...." and then make money on room service and organising a trip to the local taverna whose owner would get the prostitute to take part in an "authentic Greek evening" that featured belly-dancing, ouzo, afelia (the pork from the butchers) and smashing plates.

Hence ... everyone gets paid and the German spends way more than 100 euros, but doesn't mind because it was a break from his teutonic existence that his wife will never hear about.

 

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 16:53 | 2022447 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

What that German failed to do was get the room for 20 Euro's thru PCLN, and a Groupon hooker coupon.

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 16:58 | 2022456 ElTerco
ElTerco's picture

I wish Die Zeit would print this.  Maybe as an editorial?

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