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Friday Humor: Unspinning The "€100 Bill" Or How The European Bailout REALLY 'Works'

Tyler Durden's picture


By now everyone has heard the parable explaining how the entire European bailout, courtesy of near-infinite fractional reserve banking, can be taken care of using one €100 bill. Or so the yet again flawed economist thinking went. Unfortunately, this was just a parable, and a massively flawed one at that. As the below interaction between a ZH reader and his broker elucidates, here is what this idealized story would look like in the real world, that as we explained before, is drowning in about $21.2 trillion in excess debt.


It is a slow day in a little Greek village. The rain is beating down and the streets are deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit. On this particular day a rich German tourist is driving through the village, stops at the local hotel and lays a €100 note on the desk, telling the hotel owner he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one to spend the night. The owner gives him some keys and, as soon as the visitor has walked upstairs, the hotelier grabs the €100 note and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher.  The butcher takes the €100 note and runs down the street to repay his debt to the pig farmer. The pig farmer takes the €100 note and heads off to pay his bill at the supplier of feed and fuel. The guy at the Farmers' Co-op takes the €100 note and runs to pay his drinks bill at the taverna. The publican slips the money along to the local prostitute drinking at the bar, who has also been facing hard times and has had to offer him "services" on credit. The hooker then rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill to the hotel owner with the €100 note. The hotel proprietor then places the €100 note back on the counter so the rich traveler will not suspect anything. At that moment the traveler comes down the stairs, picks up the €100 note, states that the rooms are not satisfactory, pockets the money, and leaves town.

No one produced anything. No one earned anything. However, the whole village is now out of debt and looking to the future with a lot more optimism. And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is how the bailout package works.


XXXX I edited your bailout email a little to help make it more effective to clients, please see below.
It is a slow day in a little Greek village, planet earth.  The rain is beating down and the streets are deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit. On this particular day a rich German tourist is driving through the village, stops at the local hotel and lays a €100 note on the desk, telling the hotel owner he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one to spend the night. The owner thinks about maybe beating the tourist to death, but decides to give him some keys and, as soon as the visitor has walked upstairs, the hotelier grabs the €100 note and shoves it in his pocket.  He owes Piraeus Bank down the street €100,000 but has little intention of repaying it as his business has been contracting for several years.  That bank also has claims of €10,000 on a butcher's business, €50,000 on a pig farmer, €75,000 to a supplier of feed and fuel, but in turn owes €100,000 to EFG Bank which itself has fractionally reserved claims on a pub owner and a prostitute who bought two homes on 105% LTV among many others.

At that moment the traveler comes down the stairs, states that the rooms are not satisfactory, and asks for his €100 note back.  The Greek innkeeper asks "what €100 note?"  The German threatens to call the police.  The innkeeper says "go ahead, ask for my brother who's a Lieutenant down at the precinct, he'll help you out."  The German storms out back into the night, €100 poorer.  No one produced anything.  No one earned anything.  However, the whole village is still buried in debt and looking to the future with a lot more optimism at the thought that maybe the Germans really are that gullible.

And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is how the bailout package works.


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Fri, 12/30/2011 - 15:49 | 2022271 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

I hope he fired his broker

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 16:05 | 2022316 Misean
Misean's picture

Yeah, and hired the hooker.

Sat, 12/31/2011 - 23:53 | 2024297 Buck Johnson
Buck Johnson's picture

No kidding, also this won't be with Greece only.

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 17:07 | 2022455 vast-dom
vast-dom's picture

Let's keep it country simple and let the humor verge on frustrated nervous laughter like so: hire whores and do a lot of coke and commit senseless acts of hubris in your narcissistic feeble little world all as you continuosly fuck up your books while shifting and offloading your toxic losses into your shadow books then get government hand-outs courtesy of the illegal Fed (which is essentially one big shadow book of radioactive derivatives and toxic shit and smelly cheats) and the criminal Bernank which is to say, you lobby for your free funds by virtue of positioning and politicking. The equivalent of essentially printing your own money when need be as you continue to fuck everything and everyone up! How to package derivatives of ineptitude? Look to TeH FeD 101 QE $kaM as controlled by teh banks -- a perfect circular scam that overrides all economic systems save for tyranny.

Gots to love it. Happy New Year! No Friday mirth like the simple obvious facts! 


Oh and it's only a matter of time before the german's bomb the fuck out of that inn and then the rest of the islands!!!!! Germans are many things, but generally speaking gullible ain't one of 'em.

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 19:15 | 2022794 rocker
rocker's picture

The really sad part is that Goldman Sachs rules the world. Germans included.  No Contagion ............

John Browne was on Bloomberg today spouting how the U.S. banks have 10 trillion in derivatives on European Swaps.  Hmmmm.

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 19:34 | 2022825 Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

But they are obedient slaves who will do as told.

It has been this way for thousands of years.

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 20:15 | 2022885 knukles
knukles's picture

See... so the devoted student of Paul "Grand Asshole of E-con-comics" Krugman would say: "Just proves, we gotta issue more debt and print more money.  Am I the only fucker who understands Keynesian economics?"" 

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 21:21 | 2023004 1fortheroad
1fortheroad's picture

I dont see the problem, that 100 didnt create any debt and many people did get paid for their services.

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 21:54 | 2023057 knukles
knukles's picture

Actually, great observation.
Wonderful demonstration of an instantaneous increase in Velocity.  Now imagine that happening with all the net free reserves in the global banking system being enjoined in the process.


Fri, 12/30/2011 - 22:30 | 2023107 Al Gorerhythm
Al Gorerhythm's picture

Sixpence none the wiser. 

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 15:52 | 2022281 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

Funny... cause it's true.

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 21:40 | 2023035 malek
malek's picture

If Greece remains only halfway how it was 10 years ago, Greece would be about the last European country in which an innkeeper completely rips you off like that... by my own experience.

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 15:52 | 2022283 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

And than the germans return in stucka bombers and level the town....

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 19:01 | 2022762 i_fly_me
i_fly_me's picture


-1 for the beer spray on my screen.

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 15:54 | 2022286 Scirocco
Scirocco's picture

Someone just freaked out - explains oil smackdown


Iran’s Navy Chief Says Iran Doesn’t Mean to Close Strait: Xinhua 


Web link:


Fri, 12/30/2011 - 16:07 | 2022321 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

CFR rebuts- 'We want war with Iran now'


Fri, 12/30/2011 - 17:10 | 2022483 css1971
css1971's picture

Care to decode:

?? ????????URL?????


for me? I understood "URL" if that helps.

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 15:55 | 2022287 The Reich
The Reich's picture

Reality divided by one billion. 

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 15:56 | 2022291 Agent P
Agent P's picture

Wait a minute...are you telling me there are prostitutes out there that provide services on credit?

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 16:10 | 2022331 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

the decoupling of "credit" and "plastic"

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 16:41 | 2022408 taniquetil
taniquetil's picture

the coupling of "credit" and "silicon"


Fixed that for you

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 16:14 | 2022340 Return2Sanity
Return2Sanity's picture

In this country, prostitutes who provide services on credit are known as politicians.

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 22:51 | 2023128 Al Gorerhythm
Al Gorerhythm's picture

In this country, are the people who accept their services aware that they (politicians) are prostitutes or do they think they just got lucky?

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 22:12 | 2023078 philipat
philipat's picture

Yes, they are called Central Bankers?

Sat, 12/31/2011 - 01:55 | 2023285 vast-dom
vast-dom's picture

no credit needed when the taxpayer foots the hooker tabs.

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 16:02 | 2022293 DormRoom
DormRoom's picture

I'm glad you wrote this.  It Explains how financial churn may increase GDP from investments, but not productive enterprises.   The disconnect between between money-par-production-value & money-par-synthetic-flow has widen with the debt super bubble.


If the churn stops, no one can roll over, collateral chains are shortened, and it is game over (money flow collapses back to the most efficient, competitive, & productive ongoing concerns, which modern finance is not.  But the chimera that is retail/investment too big to fail banks, implies a huge real economic collapse).

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 16:04 | 2022312 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

The broker's example is decent in respect that it shows how debt/credit has no value- people just hand them out like cupcakes at a tailgater.

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 16:10 | 2022334 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

Not for regular folk they don't. At least not anymore. You'd think they'd just go back to matching savers and borrowers, safe mediation and risk management, but no. The unwind of the derivatives market will bring this all to light soon so now it all really makes no difference.

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 16:14 | 2022343 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Water, water everywhere...but not a drop to drink.

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 16:24 | 2022365 LowProfile
LowProfile's picture

The broker's example decent in that respect (that it shows how debt/credit has no value), but in one important other aspect, it is pure unadulterated bullshit because IT ASSUMES NO TAXES.

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 16:33 | 2022388 Big Swinging Richard
Big Swinging Richard's picture

True dat, but Greeks don't pay taxes anyhow.

Sat, 12/31/2011 - 05:47 | 2023395 WakeyWakey
WakeyWakey's picture


This is an economist fantasy land that bankers must have sold to politicians to get bailouts. It is a version of the money multiplier without interest that banks use to make a loan that then goes into another bank as a deposit to make another loan.

The reality is people mostly owe money to banks who charge interest and bills due to other companies are usually settled through banks who take another slice.

The broker example only works because the banks aren't why give the bailout money to the banksters? If it had gone to the people this mess would all be over.

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 15:58 | 2022298 pods
pods's picture

My mental image of life is that the banksters are the ones holding the shotguns, and we are poor Ned Beatty scampering up that hill in vain.


Fri, 12/30/2011 - 16:30 | 2022379 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Just put an arrow thru their neck.

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 15:58 | 2022299 Dick Darlington
Dick Darlington's picture

Maybe Mutti Angela is that gullible, with all her insane political ambitions and what not, but are the Germans, the real people, willing to foot the rehypothecated bill from here to eternity? I doubt it and the germans should too. The truth is they don't have the resources. Period.

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 16:52 | 2022445 boattrash
boattrash's picture

I think the Germans will do it. They know 1 population that will follow up to bail THEM out, U.S. FUCK!

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 16:01 | 2022306 QuietCorday
QuietCorday's picture

The problem with this parable is even simpler than that, namely ...

Who the hell puts a 100 euro note on a counter when he walks into a hotel?


Fri, 12/30/2011 - 16:03 | 2022309 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture


Fri, 12/30/2011 - 19:23 | 2022788 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

the large Hotel chains swipe your card for £$€400.00 on check-in ...just in case you drink the £$€40.00 in the minbar dry and piss all over the bed, carpets and walls presumably

The Sheraton hotel wouldn't let me into a pre-paid room while my card wasn't working even though i promised, and even offered to sign a contract, i wouldn't touch their precious minbar

4 hours of total farce from these Sheraton anal retentives and they'll never get my business again in 40 years

Here's Gerald Celente having 'issues' getting $10k of his own money out of HSBC Bank. The banking tossers want to know what you're going to do with your own money?!!

BIG (hotels, banks, credit card Co's, retailers, Utilities, Govt, anything) ..they can all GF themselves

Sat, 12/31/2011 - 07:52 | 2023432 Treason Season
Treason Season's picture

One of Celente's better rants. Thanx

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 16:04 | 2022315 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

And.....its gone.

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 16:06 | 2022319 Gubbmint Cheese
Gubbmint Cheese's picture

I am so sick of that god damned e-mail.. each time I get it.. I shake my head at how stupid the schmarmy bullshit 'solution' is. Yeah.. it's THAT easy..f*ing morons.


Fri, 12/30/2011 - 16:10 | 2022325 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Sure! Its so easy! Just print a 100 Euro bill and pay everyone off! Likewise, in a starving village, just buy 1 cheeseburger and tell everyone to pass it on down the line until they give it back to you....VOILA....everyones fed because they touched a burger!

I've got that same email from about 10 giddy doofuses as well, pisses me off.

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 17:05 | 2022471 css1971
css1971's picture

Actually it is that easy.

The problem is that 98% of EU money is based on debt, the leverage is 50:1 or higher. That 100 euro note has to pass through 50 pairs of hands, paying off debts as it goes.

The solution is sane leverage: 2:1 or less. God damn, it just ban fractional reserve banking.

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 16:08 | 2022323 Misean
Misean's picture

Ah, the perpetual motion ponzi machine meets entropy...

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 16:10 | 2022330 jmcadg
jmcadg's picture

If the Greek Innkeeper had been thinking on his feet he would have re-re-super-ultra-hypothecated the €100 to pay off his debt and still have enough to buy a monster box or two.

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 16:11 | 2022336 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

He simply didnt apply enough leverage. Stupid Greek.

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 16:36 | 2022396 QuietCorday
QuietCorday's picture

And you know what else?

Any decent hotel owner with debts and vacancies in a depressed economy would have said to the German: "Maybe you are not so impressed with the room, okay, but what about for 100 euros for two nights? Or 80 euros for one night? Or you can stay again for free if you pay to stay tonight, I have this loyalty system...." and then make money on room service and organising a trip to the local taverna whose owner would get the prostitute to take part in an "authentic Greek evening" that featured belly-dancing, ouzo, afelia (the pork from the butchers) and smashing plates.

Hence ... everyone gets paid and the German spends way more than 100 euros, but doesn't mind because it was a break from his teutonic existence that his wife will never hear about.


Fri, 12/30/2011 - 16:53 | 2022447 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

What that German failed to do was get the room for 20 Euro's thru PCLN, and a Groupon hooker coupon.

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 16:58 | 2022456 ElTerco
ElTerco's picture

I wish Die Zeit would print this.  Maybe as an editorial?

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 16:59 | 2022458 css1971
css1971's picture

And that's the difference between paper and credit.


Fri, 12/30/2011 - 17:20 | 2022501 centerline
centerline's picture

Overall debt levels do in fact matter - despite the stupid chest pounding of MMT idiots. We clearly see it as the more credit money is created - money velocity is driving towards zero. They argue that government debts needs to increase even faster to compensate for private sector lock-up - not recognizing the parabolic mathematics they are in fact pointing towards. Laughable.

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 18:24 | 2022687 r00t61
r00t61's picture

I generally can't decide who's more annoying and full of their own print-your-way-to-prosperity eCONomics BS: MMTers or neo-Keynesians.

Sat, 12/31/2011 - 09:14 | 2023454 Al Gorerhythm
Al Gorerhythm's picture

You have a dilema because there is no difference. PRINT TILL WE DROP! HAPPY NEW YEAR!


See? There is no spoon.

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 17:21 | 2022488 Miss Expectations
Miss Expectations's picture

Alright, time for a PIG joke.

There was this young couple who had decided to buy a small place in the country.  They got settled in and decided that it was time to buy some animals.  One afternoon the husband came home with a sow that he'd purchased from the farmer up the road.  After some months, they decided it was time to breed the sow, but didn't know how to go about accomplishing this.  The husband went to visit the farmer up the road to see how to go about breeding his new sow.  The farmer suggested that they put the pig in the truck and drive it over to his place and it could spend the day with his boar.  So the next day, the sow got loaded into the truck and spent the day at the farmer's place.  A few day's passed and the wife and her husband were wondering how they would know whether or not their pig was pregnant.  The husband decided to call the farmer and ask him.  He got off the phone and turned to his wife and told her that the farmer said to watch the pig in the morning.  If she was eating grass, she wasn't pregnant.  If she was rolling in the mud, she was pregnant.  So, the next morning the wife peeks out the window and is very disappointed to see the pig eating grass.  So, her husband calls the farmer to tell him that their pig isn't pregnant.  The farmer tells them to load her up again and bring her over.  The next day the husband and wife look out the window and are disappointed to see that their pig is again just eating grass.  They call the farmer and again load up their pig and drop her off at the farm for the day.  The next morning the wife says she doesn't want to look out the window, so the husband walks over to the window and peeks out.  The wife asks, "Is she eating grass?"  "No," replies her husband.  "Is she rolling in the mud?!!" asks the wife.  "No" says the husband.  "She's waiting in the truck."

Sat, 12/31/2011 - 03:28 | 2023356 green888
green888's picture

Told to me as a true story.

This guy had two Boxer dogs and every morning first thing he let them out to relieve themselves. He had a cup of tea and could see the dogs in his garden. This particular morning, the dogs were were pulling something white, tugging it away from each other when he blearilly realised it was the neighbours white Angorra rabbit. Fully awake, he rushed out, but the rabbit was dead, and he thought of the trouble this may cause; scooping the rabbit into his dressing gown, he took it home, and it was covered in dog saliva and soil- so he washed it. It did not look good, so with the hair dryer he blow dried it, a marvellous job, all white and fluffy. It was still early morning, a quick look outside, nobody about, so he took it back to the neighbours rabbit hutch, popped it in, jammed some straw under its head, and it looked life like, so he left.

Later he saw his neighbour looking at his rabbit hutch, so being the consoling sort, he thought to go over and speak would be best

"Hi, George, how are you ?" "I have just had the most terrible shock !" "Really, what is the matter" "Well yesterday the rabbit died, and now it is back here in the hutch"


Fri, 12/30/2011 - 17:42 | 2022555 tallen
tallen's picture

I think this is how Ben Bernanke percieves the economy.

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 18:12 | 2022658 hannah
hannah's picture

..ok so how did a jew steal the 100 euro note...? i missed that part.

Sat, 12/31/2011 - 09:17 | 2023458 Al Gorerhythm
Al Gorerhythm's picture

He opened a bank.

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 18:14 | 2022670 Ratscam
Ratscam's picture

Tyler, you forgot the interest on their debt.
This poor butcher and hooker.

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 18:37 | 2022712 earleflorida
earleflorida's picture


never has creative writing explained such complexity with such humorous simplicity

bravo tyler

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 19:46 | 2022846 PulauHantu29
PulauHantu29's picture

How about a paperclip? Begin with a paperclip and leverage up to a trillion Euros Bailout. Why not?

Fri, 12/30/2011 - 20:27 | 2022912 Debugas
Debugas's picture


Fri, 12/30/2011 - 20:47 | 2022944 steve from virginia
steve from virginia's picture


You lost me at the 'German laid a 100 euro note on the desk' part ...

Sat, 12/31/2011 - 04:41 | 2023380 unirealist
unirealist's picture

I'm not sure there's anything wrong with the parable.

A debt is merely a promise by the borrower to pay the lender a specific share of one's future economic production.

If in this fictitious Greek village, everyone owes someone else a week's work of labor, and those "debts" are distributed equally (so that everyone is owed the same amount of future labor and everyone OWES the same amount of future labor...

...then they could all get together in the town hall and drink ouzo and agree to cancel all the debts.  In theory.

Which is essentially what happens in the parable.

The problem is not taxes or interest.  The problem is that these "debts" or shares of future economic production are NOT equally distributed.

Cancelling them down is next to impossible.  That is why one can be skeptical about the idea that the world of derivatives "cancels down" and that net value rather than notional value is what really matters.

Furthermore, the parable assumes that all the "debts" are uncollateralized.  In the real world, "debts" are not merely claims on future economic production, but claims on existing houses, factories, businesses, cars, etc.

Try cancelling down the values of the collateralized real properties and see what happens.

Uh-oh... that's what's going on right now in the world, isn't it?


Sat, 12/31/2011 - 09:28 | 2023464 Al Gorerhythm
Al Gorerhythm's picture

So, they're all fucked. No one makes a profit and the money leaves town. Sounds like the townfolk had a windfall stroke of luck where they are all waiting for some rich guy to come along and bail them out. Sounds like modern monetary theory to me.

Sat, 12/31/2011 - 09:28 | 2023467 chinaguy
chinaguy's picture

In the first parable, everyone's payables/receivables originally balanced out net/net @ zero......after the $100 bill has made the rounds everyone is still net @ zero....

Sadly, in the real world No one's payables/receivables net out @ zero

Sat, 12/31/2011 - 10:50 | 2023509 Dave92937
Dave92937's picture

Chinaguy, you're close to the truth.  The reality is, there is really no debt in this town.  The townspeople are trading goods and services using notes as a medium of exchange.  What has the town economy tied up in knots is the fact that the notes aren't accepted as legal tender.  Money is nothing more or less than an IOU for goods and services.  So, as was pithily observed above, this is a story about the relationship between the amount of money in an economy, and how many times it changes hands over a course of time.

What's really stupid about this story is the idea that the Germans invented money, or that they have any.  

Sat, 12/31/2011 - 10:54 | 2023513 Wolf in the Wilds
Wolf in the Wilds's picture

This is my take on the Eur100 bill solution.  It was originally applied to the Irish but change the nationality and the logic is the same.


Sat, 12/31/2011 - 13:19 | 2023640 Stockmonger
Stockmonger's picture

I attempt to clear the fog around the magic trick by showing how to settle all the debts without $100 and a tourist in my blog:


Sat, 12/31/2011 - 13:29 | 2023650 MrBinkeyWhat
MrBinkeyWhat's picture

This is an example of the specialization of labor, and the transfer of efforts, and/or goods in exchange for monie, which in this example is faith based.

Everyone in this example has done something, provided something, or transferred something (thing or service). Apparently thay have all been willing to take the 100 note for that.  It all appears to be voluntary.

It works for me...

Now when the Gangsta/Banksta/Gummint thugs show up and want a cut...

Sat, 12/31/2011 - 14:13 | 2023710 BalanceOrBust
BalanceOrBust's picture

What a great set of contrasting stories.  It hits at the central issue the world is facing.  Do we all just owe each other?  Or are there some who have more debt and some who have real credit?


The answer is that some have real credit.  When push comes to shove over debts unsettled, there could be war.  Those who have secured real (non-paper) wealth will be the survivors.  The question of how that wealth will be secured is the crucial one.  Will resources be secured at the point of a knife?  Or through some kind of negotiation where creditors accept 50 cents (or thirty or ten) on the dollar for debts owed.


2012 will be difficult.  The Eurozone is finished.  Germany will need to find new markets for its well-engineered products if it is to survive.  However it finds these markets, it will only be through negotiation.  The US will continue to leak diplomatic strength and will be forced increasingly to rely on its military (stretched as it is, it is still the strongest in the world).  The US and China will face rising economic, and yes, military, tensions (point of a knife scenario).

Times will not be good for anyone.  And the race will be on to secure hard assets (food, oil, precious metals) by all means possible.


The global village in which the butcher, the hooker and the candlestick maker all found orderly means of exchange may be coming to an end.  



Sun, 01/01/2012 - 18:37 | 2025297 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

"I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today."

McD's stock through the roof.

Circle Jerk economists feeling pretty good right about now; but Wives and Grandparents expect children not jizz covered shoes and a bar tab.

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