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FT Releases Mother Of All Rumors

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Tue, 12/06/2011 - 15:52 | 1952128 firstdivision
firstdivision's picture

 ...annnd how would the ESM get ECB funding without the okay to print by Germany?

OT:

http://books.google.com/books?id=4OZAYNORresC&lpg=PA81&ots=EcDa5Pki_K&dq=boj%20reaction%20bubble&pg=PA84#v=onepage&q=boj%20reaction%20bubble&f=false

Page 84, section 3.1 third paragraph

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 15:54 | 1952151 redpill
redpill's picture

It won't be enough.  Europe needs at least 2 or 3 more acronyms to have a chance!

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:00 | 1952193 I think I need ...
I think I need to buy a gun's picture

I HAVEN'T SEEN THIS INFO COME ACROSS CNBS YET?????????????????

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:17 | 1952294 LongSoupLine
LongSoupLine's picture

 

 

Not only has CNBS touted the rumor in full force, but added another heaping rumor course into the shitty meal du jour with an "Exclusive" interview by Michelle 'look-at-my-breasts-not-face' Cabrerra with Italy's ECB head who says "Italy bond rates have seen their peak".

I really f'ing hate these media assholes!

 

 

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:23 | 1952346 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

As always... to be fair & balanced...

I... for one... DON'T hate their BREASTS... There, I said it...

 

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 17:00 | 1952579 sqz
sqz's picture

This has got to be the funniest article of the day. Combine that with the caption commentators on the ZH Merkozy hand-holding and my sides are still hurting! ZH on great form today :)

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 17:40 | 1952765 strannick
strannick's picture

Its just an unsubstantiated rumour at the moment, but I heard the Martians were selling Italian and Greek CDSs, and have an open bid for whatever Eurobonds come available in the New Year. They must know something. Anyone know if Martians are gifted with foreknowledge??

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 17:06 | 1952612 MolotovCockhead
MolotovCockhead's picture

Hate breast??!! Noway!! Been dreaming of being breastfed by Angela Merkel and Carla Bruni with more rumors!

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:29 | 1952391 redpill
redpill's picture

She's just keeping us abreast of the situation, that's all.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 19:40 | 1953041 dracos_ghost
dracos_ghost's picture

I heard they are going to seize the gold assets of the Leprechaun's too. So appreciate those rainbows while we have them.

And yes, Michelle's breasts are worth looking at, thank god for the mute button.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:08 | 1952249 defn8Dog
defn8Dog's picture

Tagline!  How about a great Tagline for the double barrelled bazooka?  Two Funds are More Fun!  or something

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:23 | 1952345 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Wait for it, there will be a third fund because you need to have at least three shells for a proper shell game.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:25 | 1952364 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

How many in this forum... (& let's be honest)... Haven't thought about giving Michele Caruso Cabrera's breast the "double barreled bazooka"?

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:35 | 1952382 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

<== Give 'em the double barreled bazooka

<== No, my name is CIVIC MUNDI, I save my double barreled bazookas for Justin Beiber JPEG's

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:40 | 1952470 Stax Edwards
Stax Edwards's picture

You motorboat'n son of a bitch!  You old sailor you!

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:01 | 1952198 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

Gunpoint.

Germany will break and print.

BLANC CHEQUE BABY!!!.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:30 | 1952402 Greater Fool
Greater Fool's picture

...and when they do, they'll soon realize that they should have done it much, much sooner.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 17:10 | 1952600 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Eurobonds are The Final Solution to the phantom menace that is the European Debt Crisis.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 17:10 | 1952631 MolotovCockhead
MolotovCockhead's picture

The Logo is all wrong, Mr Horseman. Should be Doggy style!! How about wolf doggy style on sheeps in long line?

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 17:18 | 1952661 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Doggy style, with a representative taxpayer (aka serf) being bound and gagged, while having a hot poker shoved up his arse by the ghost of Mayer Amschel Rothschild (or any of his present living offspring or their hired jackals).

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 17:42 | 1952771 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Double good.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 17:46 | 1952784 Iwanttoknow
Iwanttoknow's picture

 1000 up arrows.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 17:41 | 1952767 GoodMorningMr.V...
GoodMorningMr.VanRumpoy...'s picture

Why does that more closely resemble the black eagle under the third reich than U.S.  bald eagel?

 

http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQrnRffFWjQi6tyIbjcdYjKp69JO-uxa...

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 18:00 | 1952822 pufferfish
pufferfish's picture

Is the eagle riding an afro comb?

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 19:38 | 1953035 WhiteNight123129
WhiteNight123129's picture

Piss off the final solution... Merde.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 22:43 | 1953496 Buck Johnson
Buck Johnson's picture

As the OP said, this is just flat out rumor mongering in order to force something.  The end is about to come and when it does, it will be horrible.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 15:51 | 1952131 Nawaralsaadi
Nawaralsaadi's picture

EU WEIGHS GIVING ESM ACCESS TO ECB FUNDING, FT SAYS -  This is major.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 15:52 | 1952140 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

The word RESCUE doesnt sound too BULLISH to me.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 15:55 | 1952161 aldousd
aldousd's picture

you wouldn't think... but when everyone's so beaten down and scared... it sounds bullish, watch the market zoom if "rescue" is actually the word that goes out.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:03 | 1952188 Hard1
Hard1's picture

Alpha Centauri placed on CreditWatch negative by Stellar and Planetary Ratings (S&P) on news it may touch Europe as this poses severe intergallactic contagion risk that may extend beyond the Solar System

 

On reality, the rumour is of Merkozy pulling a larger double barreled bazooka that still sprays low pressure water squirts.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:22 | 1952343 Momauguin Joe
Momauguin Joe's picture

Fascinating.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:26 | 1952368 wandstrasse
wandstrasse's picture

all this EFSF stuff reminds me of my prostate.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:24 | 1952181 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

 

 

Merkozy decided to scrap the bullshit act that wasn't working and cut to the chase:

 

Euro Zone leaders pondering Rothschild offer to bail out debt-marinated semi-sovereign nations, at an interest rate of 16.66% fixed, in exchange for securitized liens on all infrastructure in Europe, including, but not limited to, drinking water purification facilities, governmental offices, including parliamentary, judicial and other governmental bodies and facilities, farmland, roads, bridges, military equipment and troops, tax tribunals and authorities, pension funds, and such other assets as to be disclosed at a later time*.


*Supreme irony of the day = all debt that has saturated PIIGS+France+UK is already due the House of the Red Shield as it is, compliments of fractional reserve bankster hyenas.

 

Just before the plebes get an opportunity to storm the Bastille in protest of what would be a total, rather than near total, loss of their sovereignty....

 

Oh look over there! It's a [insert black flag/engineered calamity/circusInfinitized/sheeple catnip of your choice here]

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 17:53 | 1952807 CompassionateFascist
CompassionateFascist's picture

Damn you anti-semites. Damn you to hell and back.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 19:46 | 1953051 WhiteNight123129
WhiteNight123129's picture

Got my bottle of Champagne and my foie gras ready when the French Franc is re-introduced. Champagne ages relatively ok, and the fois gras is in the can so it can last a couple of years. I won´t have to throw it away. On the bright side, the faster the SHTF the faster we can rebuild.... Bring this on so we can get over with it, and so we can get wasted with good booze.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:32 | 1952416 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

"Rescue" is a 'BOT' term...

It only means something to MIT geeks (who write the algos for the squid)... You're not in the club...

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 15:57 | 1952173 PAPA ROACH
PAPA ROACH's picture

Major? Because levered debt upon levered debt will fix a levered debt problem? I agree with Tyler, this is the beginning of the end...

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 15:59 | 1952189 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

Nothing a couple of quadrillion of derivatives can't fix.

Or horribly amplify.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:09 | 1952254 redpill
redpill's picture

Not to worry, it's all hedged, and net exposure is zero.  What could go wrong?

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 15:59 | 1952186 hugovanderbubble
hugovanderbubble's picture

Why not 3 funds instead of 2?

Whom gonna place the money for the funds? Offshore Accounts?

FALSE HISTORY again crappy manipulated by curiously UK MEDIA....INCREDIBLE....

 

 

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:04 | 1952218 Schmuck Raker
Schmuck Raker's picture

I disagree somewhat.

"ECB WEIGHS GIVING ESM ACCESS TO ECB FUNDING, FT SAYS"   Would be major.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:24 | 1952356 oogs66
oogs66's picture

Which rules do they just break and which do they do complex things to work around?

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 18:35 | 1952905 Johnny Yuma
Johnny Yuma's picture
  • ECB TO ACQUIRE FITCH RATINGS TO PROVIDE MORE TRANSPARENT EU RATINGS
Tue, 12/06/2011 - 15:51 | 1952132 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

HOORAY Europe is magically fixed! A sprinkle of Pixie dust here, maybe some angel dust thrown in too....a little unicorn horn there...FIXED!

Now, sell the news!

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:02 | 1952209 Nascent_Variable
Nascent_Variable's picture

EU announces formation of 137 distinct bailout vehicles, which will continually bailout countries and each other for the next century.  Heads of everyone in Europe, who understands basic economics and mathematics, exlplode instantly and simultaneously, leaving the measure unopposed.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:16 | 1952299 upWising
upWising's picture

Long MAGIC WANDS (which only take AAA+ batteries)

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:37 | 1952459 kito
kito's picture

sell the news sheepie?? but why, I BELIEVE!!!!!

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 15:51 | 1952133 Tortfeasor
Tortfeasor's picture

Tyler's final sentence is the most important.  Get ready, people!

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:07 | 1952240 AllThatGlitters
AllThatGlitters's picture

How?  I haven't bought Graham's reports yet LOL.

Buy gold?  It is spiking nicely:  http://www.oilbull.com/gold-price/

I suppose a little spare food might be a good idea.

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