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FT Releases Mother Of All Rumors

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Remember when everyone would dread the 3pm hour when the FT would mysteriously come up with some about to be discredited deus ex machina rumor? Those days are back, and this time the FT hits us, baby, one MOAR time:

  • EU OFFICIALS WEIGH RUNNING TWO RESCUE FUNDS TOGETHER, FT SAYS
  • EU WEIGHS RUNNING TWO RESCUE FUNDS, MORE IMF SUPPORT: FT
  • EU WEIGHS GIVING ESM ACCESS TO ECB FUNDING, FT SAYS

In other words, Europe has now given up on nuances and has resorted to nuclear rumormongering: it is commingling all failed funds, adding the IMF, and promises to add Marsian capital as soon as said capital is discovered. That the EFSF was unable to raise €3 billion (and only did so with underwriters retaining half of the issued bonds) on its way to €1 trillion (let alone €2) remains irrelevant.

Some rumors that remain still to be added:

  • EU WEIGHS PULLING GOLD FILLINGS FROM CITIZENS TO BAILOUT GOLDMAN SACHS AND OTHER BANKS
  • EU OFFICIALS HAVE REACHED OUT TO ALPHA CENTAURI FOR PREFERRED SHARE INVESTMENT; INITIAL RESPONSE FAVORABLE
  • FITCH PLANNING TO RAISE EUROPE CREDIT RATING TO AAAA+
  • EUROPE PREANNOUNCES MASSIVE EPS BEAT ON BLOWING OUT CDS SPREADS

And so on.

This idiocy confirms we have officially rached the beginning of the end.

 

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Tue, 12/06/2011 - 15:52 | 1952128 firstdivision
firstdivision's picture

 ...annnd how would the ESM get ECB funding without the okay to print by Germany?

OT:

http://books.google.com/books?id=4OZAYNORresC&lpg=PA81&ots=EcDa5Pki_K&dq=boj%20reaction%20bubble&pg=PA84#v=onepage&q=boj%20reaction%20bubble&f=false

Page 84, section 3.1 third paragraph

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 15:54 | 1952151 redpill
redpill's picture

It won't be enough.  Europe needs at least 2 or 3 more acronyms to have a chance!

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:00 | 1952193 I think I need ...
I think I need to buy a gun's picture

I HAVEN'T SEEN THIS INFO COME ACROSS CNBS YET?????????????????

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:17 | 1952294 LongSoupLine
LongSoupLine's picture

 

 

Not only has CNBS touted the rumor in full force, but added another heaping rumor course into the shitty meal du jour with an "Exclusive" interview by Michelle 'look-at-my-breasts-not-face' Cabrerra with Italy's ECB head who says "Italy bond rates have seen their peak".

I really f'ing hate these media assholes!

 

 

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:23 | 1952346 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

As always... to be fair & balanced...

I... for one... DON'T hate their BREASTS... There, I said it...

 

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 17:00 | 1952579 sqz
sqz's picture

This has got to be the funniest article of the day. Combine that with the caption commentators on the ZH Merkozy hand-holding and my sides are still hurting! ZH on great form today :)

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 17:40 | 1952765 strannick
strannick's picture

Its just an unsubstantiated rumour at the moment, but I heard the Martians were selling Italian and Greek CDSs, and have an open bid for whatever Eurobonds come available in the New Year. They must know something. Anyone know if Martians are gifted with foreknowledge??

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 17:06 | 1952612 MolotovCockhead
MolotovCockhead's picture

Hate breast??!! Noway!! Been dreaming of being breastfed by Angela Merkel and Carla Bruni with more rumors!

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:29 | 1952391 redpill
redpill's picture

She's just keeping us abreast of the situation, that's all.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 19:40 | 1953041 dracos_ghost
dracos_ghost's picture

I heard they are going to seize the gold assets of the Leprechaun's too. So appreciate those rainbows while we have them.

And yes, Michelle's breasts are worth looking at, thank god for the mute button.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:08 | 1952249 defn8Dog
defn8Dog's picture

Tagline!  How about a great Tagline for the double barrelled bazooka?  Two Funds are More Fun!  or something

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:23 | 1952345 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Wait for it, there will be a third fund because you need to have at least three shells for a proper shell game.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:25 | 1952364 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

How many in this forum... (& let's be honest)... Haven't thought about giving Michele Caruso Cabrera's breast the "double barreled bazooka"?

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:35 | 1952382 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

<== Give 'em the double barreled bazooka

<== No, my name is CIVIC MUNDI, I save my double barreled bazookas for Justin Beiber JPEG's

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:40 | 1952470 Stax Edwards
Stax Edwards's picture

You motorboat'n son of a bitch!  You old sailor you!

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:01 | 1952198 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

Gunpoint.

Germany will break and print.

BLANC CHEQUE BABY!!!.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:30 | 1952402 Greater Fool
Greater Fool's picture

...and when they do, they'll soon realize that they should have done it much, much sooner.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 17:10 | 1952600 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Eurobonds are The Final Solution to the phantom menace that is the European Debt Crisis.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 17:10 | 1952631 MolotovCockhead
MolotovCockhead's picture

The Logo is all wrong, Mr Horseman. Should be Doggy style!! How about wolf doggy style on sheeps in long line?

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 17:18 | 1952661 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Doggy style, with a representative taxpayer (aka serf) being bound and gagged, while having a hot poker shoved up his arse by the ghost of Mayer Amschel Rothschild (or any of his present living offspring or their hired jackals).

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 17:42 | 1952771 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Double good.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 17:46 | 1952784 Iwanttoknow
Iwanttoknow's picture

 1000 up arrows.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 17:41 | 1952767 GoodMorningMr.V...
GoodMorningMr.VanRumpoy...'s picture

Why does that more closely resemble the black eagle under the third reich than U.S.  bald eagel?

 

http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQrnRffFWjQi6tyIbjcdYjKp69JO-uxa...

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 18:00 | 1952822 pufferfish
pufferfish's picture

Is the eagle riding an afro comb?

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 19:38 | 1953035 WhiteNight123129
WhiteNight123129's picture

Piss off the final solution... Merde.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 22:43 | 1953496 Buck Johnson
Buck Johnson's picture

As the OP said, this is just flat out rumor mongering in order to force something.  The end is about to come and when it does, it will be horrible.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 15:51 | 1952131 Nawaralsaadi
Nawaralsaadi's picture

EU WEIGHS GIVING ESM ACCESS TO ECB FUNDING, FT SAYS -  This is major.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 15:52 | 1952140 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

The word RESCUE doesnt sound too BULLISH to me.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 15:55 | 1952161 aldousd
aldousd's picture

you wouldn't think... but when everyone's so beaten down and scared... it sounds bullish, watch the market zoom if "rescue" is actually the word that goes out.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:03 | 1952188 Hard1
Hard1's picture

Alpha Centauri placed on CreditWatch negative by Stellar and Planetary Ratings (S&P) on news it may touch Europe as this poses severe intergallactic contagion risk that may extend beyond the Solar System

 

On reality, the rumour is of Merkozy pulling a larger double barreled bazooka that still sprays low pressure water squirts.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:22 | 1952343 Momauguin Joe
Momauguin Joe's picture

Fascinating.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:26 | 1952368 wandstrasse
wandstrasse's picture

all this EFSF stuff reminds me of my prostate.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:24 | 1952181 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

 

 

Merkozy decided to scrap the bullshit act that wasn't working and cut to the chase:

 

Euro Zone leaders pondering Rothschild offer to bail out debt-marinated semi-sovereign nations, at an interest rate of 16.66% fixed, in exchange for securitized liens on all infrastructure in Europe, including, but not limited to, drinking water purification facilities, governmental offices, including parliamentary, judicial and other governmental bodies and facilities, farmland, roads, bridges, military equipment and troops, tax tribunals and authorities, pension funds, and such other assets as to be disclosed at a later time*.


*Supreme irony of the day = all debt that has saturated PIIGS+France+UK is already due the House of the Red Shield as it is, compliments of fractional reserve bankster hyenas.

 

Just before the plebes get an opportunity to storm the Bastille in protest of what would be a total, rather than near total, loss of their sovereignty....

 

Oh look over there! It's a [insert black flag/engineered calamity/circusInfinitized/sheeple catnip of your choice here]

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 17:53 | 1952807 CompassionateFascist
CompassionateFascist's picture

Damn you anti-semites. Damn you to hell and back.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 19:46 | 1953051 WhiteNight123129
WhiteNight123129's picture

Got my bottle of Champagne and my foie gras ready when the French Franc is re-introduced. Champagne ages relatively ok, and the fois gras is in the can so it can last a couple of years. I won´t have to throw it away. On the bright side, the faster the SHTF the faster we can rebuild.... Bring this on so we can get over with it, and so we can get wasted with good booze.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:32 | 1952416 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

"Rescue" is a 'BOT' term...

It only means something to MIT geeks (who write the algos for the squid)... You're not in the club...

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 15:57 | 1952173 PAPA ROACH
PAPA ROACH's picture

Major? Because levered debt upon levered debt will fix a levered debt problem? I agree with Tyler, this is the beginning of the end...

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 15:59 | 1952189 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

Nothing a couple of quadrillion of derivatives can't fix.

Or horribly amplify.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:09 | 1952254 redpill
redpill's picture

Not to worry, it's all hedged, and net exposure is zero.  What could go wrong?

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 15:59 | 1952186 hugovanderbubble
hugovanderbubble's picture

Why not 3 funds instead of 2?

Whom gonna place the money for the funds? Offshore Accounts?

FALSE HISTORY again crappy manipulated by curiously UK MEDIA....INCREDIBLE....

 

 

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:04 | 1952218 Schmuck Raker
Schmuck Raker's picture

I disagree somewhat.

"ECB WEIGHS GIVING ESM ACCESS TO ECB FUNDING, FT SAYS"   Would be major.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:24 | 1952356 oogs66
oogs66's picture

Which rules do they just break and which do they do complex things to work around?

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 18:35 | 1952905 Johnny Yuma
Johnny Yuma's picture
  • ECB TO ACQUIRE FITCH RATINGS TO PROVIDE MORE TRANSPARENT EU RATINGS
Tue, 12/06/2011 - 15:51 | 1952132 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

HOORAY Europe is magically fixed! A sprinkle of Pixie dust here, maybe some angel dust thrown in too....a little unicorn horn there...FIXED!

Now, sell the news!

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:02 | 1952209 Nascent_Variable
Nascent_Variable's picture

EU announces formation of 137 distinct bailout vehicles, which will continually bailout countries and each other for the next century.  Heads of everyone in Europe, who understands basic economics and mathematics, exlplode instantly and simultaneously, leaving the measure unopposed.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:16 | 1952299 upWising
upWising's picture

Long MAGIC WANDS (which only take AAA+ batteries)

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:37 | 1952459 kito
kito's picture

sell the news sheepie?? but why, I BELIEVE!!!!!

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 15:51 | 1952133 Tortfeasor
Tortfeasor's picture

Tyler's final sentence is the most important.  Get ready, people!

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:07 | 1952240 AllThatGlitters
AllThatGlitters's picture

How?  I haven't bought Graham's reports yet LOL.

Buy gold?  It is spiking nicely:  http://www.oilbull.com/gold-price/

I suppose a little spare food might be a good idea.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:33 | 1952419 rosiescenario
rosiescenario's picture

...silver had an even more impressive launch today...

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:12 | 1952272 narnia
narnia's picture

this game is far from over.

the talk is what is the world's share of the PIIGS, do they proceed with just PIIS or include G, what amount of the paper is needed to keep borrowing rates inside an affordable margin spread throughout the world, and what currencies have to look like at the end of this contribution based on the central bankers' foolish desires.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:21 | 1952334 upWising
upWising's picture

ATTENTION BOYS AND GIRLS!  IT'S AN ACRONYM ALERT!

France
United Kingdom
Cyprus
Estonia
Denmark

OK boys and girls!  Rearrange all the letters that are IN CAPITALS to make a new word!  

Your answer will tell you about your FUTURE!   GOOD LUCK!! 

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:34 | 1952432 rosiescenario
rosiescenario's picture

...add Finland and you'll spell what we are...

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 18:41 | 1952919 Johnny Yuma
Johnny Yuma's picture

And Kazakhstan...

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 17:08 | 1952619 Hard1
Hard1's picture

...add Austria, Spain and Sweden and you get exact place where you will feel the pain of your FUTURE.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 22:19 | 1953450 Bansters-in-my-...
Bansters-in-my- feces's picture

You missed Kansas city after Cyprus,but we get the drift.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 15:52 | 1952135 DormRoom
DormRoom's picture

seriously, for them to do this, shows desperation.. shadow banking must be days from breaking down.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 15:53 | 1952144 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

hours...

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:04 | 1952184 DormRoom
DormRoom's picture

perhaps you are right.  Shanghai decline may indicate carry trade unwinds.  And we we aren't seeing it signaled in FX markets because of the CB swap lines. If it breaks 2080, then I'd be very concerned, since it may indicate everyone preemptively heading for the exit, and a risk-free preference.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:44 | 1952495 Sly1911
Sly1911's picture

Kicking the can down the road....trouble is the can lands one inch from the technocrats boot!!!

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 18:09 | 1952856 viahj
viahj's picture

+1 for your avatar but it does seem that the can is getting larger

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 19:03 | 1952960 Sly1911
Sly1911's picture

that too and heavier...Mother of all Debt Neutron Stars!!! You can’t fool physics! :]

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 15:52 | 1952136 Randall Cabot
Randall Cabot's picture

DOW likes the beginning of the end.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 15:52 | 1952137 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

Hooray, more free money to the bankers!

With all this trickle down, soon I shall be a hundredaire.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 15:52 | 1952138 soopy
soopy's picture

Why stop at two?

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 15:57 | 1952174 Black Forest
Black Forest's picture

Two are enough. The small one is for Northern Europeans, the big one for Mediterraneans.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 15:52 | 1952139 NOTW777
NOTW777's picture

why not three rescue funds

 

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 17:07 | 1952617 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Merkozy announces the:

Dora & Diego Rescue Pack - Coming to the Rescue!

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 15:52 | 1952142 jrpuffnstuff
jrpuffnstuff's picture

Prin'it like a mo'fuck'r bitchz

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:33 | 1952423 Incubus
Tue, 12/06/2011 - 15:53 | 1952143 Let them eat iPads
Let them eat iPads's picture

Stocks rise as argument at Kardashian household subsides.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 15:53 | 1952145 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Rapidly moving from the sublime to the stupid.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:02 | 1952210 lunaticfringe
lunaticfringe's picture

CD...where ya been? No computers in work release?

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:10 | 1952259 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

The funny farm has finally deemed me fit for public presentation and conjugal visits. Been too busy conjugating to visit ZH much lately. Trying to make up for lost time. :>)

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:30 | 1952401 Momauguin Joe
Momauguin Joe's picture

Get it while you can, brother.

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 15:53 | 1952146 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Anything with the word "access to ECB funding" is bound to trigger the HFT buying. 

Tue, 12/06/2011 - 15:57 | 1952172 firstdivision
firstdivision's picture
  • Access to ECB funding denied.
  • That wouldn't.

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 15:58 | 1952149 falak pema
    falak pema's picture

    this is getting Hitchcockien and George Smilyen... What is the cabal trying to concoct?

    Is the FT loosing its famous STIIF UPPER LIP...TO GO SO ORSON WELLIAN?


    ...This is officially the beginning of the end...

    That is right from ...the Martians are coming.

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 15:54 | 1952150 inkarri9
    inkarri9's picture

    "Wonder twin powers activate..."

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 15:54 | 1952152 hugovanderbubble
    hugovanderbubble's picture

    FT, Guardian ..this is crap...

     

    ECB =NEW MASTER HEDGE FUND

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:01 | 1952192 GeneMarchbanks
    GeneMarchbanks's picture

    Welcome to the club!

    -Dr. Ben Shalom Bernanke

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 15:54 | 1952153 Village Smithy
    Village Smithy's picture

    I'm thinking that the Euro banks are behind these rumors and that manipulating the ES is keeping them afloat right now.

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 15:54 | 1952154 PunkSgt
    PunkSgt's picture

    My thoughts on the end of the euro and eurozone and the US... 

    http://goo.gl/myCm2

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 15:55 | 1952158 EscapeKey
    EscapeKey's picture

    "Markets rally on Euro debt talk hope"

    There, I've sorted out the Marketwatch headline for 17 of the next 24 days.

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:25 | 1952362 SillySalesmanQu...
    SillySalesmanQuestion's picture

    There, you fixed it for us...

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 15:55 | 1952159 El Viejo
    El Viejo's picture

    The UK can and probably will single-handily torpedo the treaty changes proposed by Merkel and Sarkozy.
    From here:
    http://globaleconomicanalysis.blogspot.com/2011/12/12-of-26-economists-in-financial-times.html

     

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 15:57 | 1952171 Seize Mars
    Seize Mars's picture

    Well I  hope so.

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:01 | 1952202 EscapeKey
    EscapeKey's picture

    Won't happen.

    The Tories will make some Euro sceptic noise, followed then by acceptance with a few broadly worded, ultimately empty paragraphs having been inserted into the final draft.

    That way the Tories can claim victory, despite actually towing the line.

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:35 | 1952442 Scalaris
    Scalaris's picture

    Wait, I think I've watched this show before.

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 15:55 | 1952160 steveo
    steveo's picture

    I received this email from a friend in Hawaii.   This was written before 1947.   My friends grandfather was flying a small plane for recreational enjoyment on Dec 7, 1941, flying over Honolulu as the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor (and the rest of Oahu) began.

    Very interesting slice of life here.    3 pages.   What is very interesting also is the "denial".    They landed their plane during the attack, got out, moved 30 planes to separate them in case of a further attack, and then drove to the police to inform them of the attack, and the police basically laughed at them, in denial that we could have been attacked. 

    Read it.   Drop a comment.

    http://oahutrading.blogspot.com/2011/12/pearl-harbor-attack.html

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 15:55 | 1952162 PontifexMaximus
    PontifexMaximus's picture

    This is bullish, reflation trade in, risk on. Believe it or not, market squeezes out shorts, algos on and inst. performace chasers going nuts.

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 15:56 | 1952164 Seize Mars
    Seize Mars's picture

    I am hoping that the average European is somehow more knowledgeable or smart about fiat money. The fact is that it's untenable, the sooner the man in the street gets it the better.

    Ban fiat!

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:22 | 1952337 NotApplicable
    NotApplicable's picture

    Average Swiss, perhaps. The rest likely think of money as being a government creation (similar to the rest of the "developed" world).

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 15:56 | 1952165 Bumblebee Tuna
    Bumblebee Tuna's picture

    EU "WEIGHS"...

    So basically they've done absolutely nothing, and are just "weighing" the option.  Put that in the news, and eureka, the world is saved.

    Nothing makes it more clear that the market is one big casino than billions of dollars trading on headlines such as this.  


    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 15:57 | 1952168 LawsofPhysics
    LawsofPhysics's picture

    Well duh, it about time they came up with a plan.  Makes sense, you can't run a shell game with only one shell.

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 15:57 | 1952175 John Law Lives
    John Law Lives's picture

    How long before Robochump shows up to cheerlead the rally...

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:27 | 1952374 mktsrmanipulated
    mktsrmanipulated's picture

    love it...lmao...where was he yesterday after the move down...lmao

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 15:57 | 1952176 lolmao500
    lolmao500's picture

    http://www.datelinezero.com/2011/12/06/michigan-citizens-to-be-educated-...

    Michigan Citizens To Be 'Educated and Prepared for Homeland Security'

    http://news.yahoo.com/chinas-hu-urges-navy-prepare-combat-160509787.html

    China's Hu urges navy to prepare for combat

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:26 | 1952367 NotApplicable
    NotApplicable's picture

    So... just what's in that snowcone???

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:00 | 1952177 mktsrmanipulated
    mktsrmanipulated's picture

    so let me get this right we can create another vehicle every time our current vehicle has problems or is not well received??  WHY NIT CALL THE NEXT ONE EUFO....

    EUROPEAN

    UNDERFUNDED

    FUCKING

    OBLIGATIONS.....

    AND GET OFF THE BULLSHIT....the only fix is print thats it...

    What ever happened to repsonsible journalism? As an objective person wouldnt you ask the question.....

    If your debt is to high cause of leverage isnt a new vehicle desinged to leverage more be equivalent to someone getting another credit card to pay his monthly credit card bills....wtf is this world coming to

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 15:58 | 1952178 Racer
    Racer's picture

    The banksters will do anything to goose the market so they can get fat xmas bonuses

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:05 | 1952233 John Law Lives
    John Law Lives's picture

    Many lower-level employees of these firms are losing their jobs.  Goosing the market while laying of employees is especially Machivellian.  Banksters have no scruples.

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 15:58 | 1952179 lolmao500
    lolmao500's picture

    Bank run going on in Greece?

    http://www.spiegel.de/international/europe/0,1518,802051,00.html

    Anxious Greeks Emptying Their Bank Accounts
    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:06 | 1952194 hugovanderbubble
    hugovanderbubble's picture

    Thats story is mine,

    Der Spiegel always copies other bloggers/editors.

    http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/522/bankruns.jpg/

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:33 | 1952422 PontifexMaximus
    PontifexMaximus's picture

    ...it took too long, don't forget, that the Buba has given the Greek National Bank a nice obolus of some....Eur 70 bill if I'm not wrong. Hopefullly the Deutsche Michel doesn't know it....yet.

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 15:59 | 1952182 ebworthen
    ebworthen's picture

    Sounds like they are going "all in" with a pair of 3's.

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 20:26 | 1953181 francis_sawyer
    francis_sawyer's picture

    ...on the "river"

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 15:59 | 1952185 Aductor
    Aductor's picture

    Same old for the free market of the free world (invisible hand and all included): Rally first, ask later, and never ever think twice (or think at all). The sharpest knives in the drawer are at work!

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 15:59 | 1952190 Martial
    Martial's picture

    Actually there is a third bailout rumor coming from somewhere near Uruanus.  Experts are still deciphering the message but they think that will be one that saves the day.

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:02 | 1952207 TruthInSunshine
    TruthInSunshine's picture

    Some anal-cyst was accused of pulling the uranus bailout rumor from his arsehole, and it's is now being angrily smeared and smudged as such.

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:01 | 1952196 TooRichtoCare
    TooRichtoCare's picture

    no point in fighting it. Just succumb.  Go long.  All in.  Put every penny you have in stocks. And financials at that!  Do it!

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:01 | 1952197 eBuddha
    eBuddha's picture

    i don't see what the problem is -

    they raised euro 3bln, into Fund A, leverage that 5 times and you have 15 bln, leverage that 5 times and you have 75 billion, leverage that 5 times and you have 375 billion, leverage that 5 times and you have 1.875 trillion.

    so, they already have the seed capital and 2 funds, they just need 2 more funds and they're done.

    they're half way home.

     

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:04 | 1952227 Everybodys All ...
    Everybodys All American's picture

    CDO squared (squared)

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:01 | 1952200 Goldtoothchimp09
    Goldtoothchimp09's picture

    Longs better hope SPX 1266.73 can be topped on the news... if not ....... it will smell like death!

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:04 | 1952221 Odin
    Odin's picture

    hah! just short of it man! awesome

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:50 | 1952534 pkea
    pkea's picture

    don't get excited yet, wait until next week for more clarity after brussel but my bet the rumors will linger and sustain markets for a few months until blow up in a few months

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:54 | 1952552 Goldtoothchimp09
    Goldtoothchimp09's picture

    PKEA - that sentiment is how tops are made

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 17:02 | 1952581 pkea
    pkea's picture

    true but the top can last a few months...it appears that the SP's bottom line at around 1250 is the new fed's mandate

     

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:53 | 1952548 Goldtoothchimp09
    Goldtoothchimp09's picture

    A close under SPY 126.55 would be a BEAR'S DELIGHT!

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:01 | 1952201 Catullus
    Catullus's picture

    Are they going to leverage that fund 40:1 too?

    This is a bad joke.

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:01 | 1952204 Collapse is imminent
    Collapse is imminent's picture

    Pump it, pump it, pump it !

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:41 | 1952475 pkea
    pkea's picture

    Marx is laughing, at last he may very well get redeemed and proven right next year.

    What do you want from zombie capitalism but rumors? it's their dessert. Printing soon will be irrelevant. 

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:01 | 1952205 lunaticfringe
    lunaticfringe's picture

    Buy! Cover your shorts! Happy days are here!

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:06 | 1952208 mktsrmanipulated
    mktsrmanipulated's picture

    my recomendation is inundate all media sources that report BS...i have been doing it for the past few weeks...emails phone calls etc.

     

    cnbc 1-877-280-4548

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:03 | 1952212 Caviar Emptor
    Caviar Emptor's picture

    The financial sector in the EU and US are now fully self-funding through the Fed and ECB.

    The real economy, the middle class can now drop dead. It won't affect bonds, stocks, or derivatives. 

    Success!! 

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:03 | 1952215 Odin
    Odin's picture

    EU OFFCIALS WEIGH THE CLAIM THAT NOW MONEY ACTUALLY DOES GROW ON TREES

     

    EU OFFCIALS PROPOSE FOLLOWING RAINBOW TO ITS END TO RETRIEVE GOLD

    EU OFFCIALS PROPOSE LEVERAGING GOLD AT END OF RAINBOW

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:07 | 1952241 Arkaenun
    Arkaenun's picture

    What about leveraging rainbows? Or in this case, diverting rainbow 1 to merge with rainbow 2 to get some weird new breed of leprachaun.

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:18 | 1952316 Big Ben
    Big Ben's picture

    Well tobacco leaves have been used as money. In colonial America, for example. And cigarettes were used as currency in Berlin immediately after the end of the second world war. But of course, tobacco doesn't grow on trees.

     

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:04 | 1952220 Skyprince
    Skyprince's picture

    But...it works.  S&P up almsot 10 points in last 40 minutes.  Let me see...with the momentum this will build into the close and then the post close CNBC love fest, should be good for a few hundred million at least.  

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:04 | 1952223 Sophist Economicus
    Sophist Economicus's picture

    If there's any money left over, I need about $30K to redo the metal roof on one of my pole barns....

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:07 | 1952239 Caviar Emptor
    Caviar Emptor's picture

    That is one tall order, bro...No can do!

    We got many many banks to fund and rescue over here before the Xmas party season. 

    Enjoy it, though!

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:33 | 1952425 pkea
    pkea's picture

    If these funds are in trillions I wouldn't be shy and take at least a few M's

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:04 | 1952226 DavidC
    DavidC's picture

    Assuming it is a rumour, don't these idiots realise by doing this they are going to make the final crash far worse than it would have been otherwise?

    Or maybe the ECB IS going to print? Or the Fed do an overt QE3 and lower discount and funds rate to zero? That's all that's left.

    Either way, desperation and the beginning of the end indeed.
    DavidC

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:05 | 1952228 apu123
    apu123's picture

    This news will ramp the market today and if it turns out to be a rumor nobody will remember before the next new rumor is released.  Just like nobody cares about the S&P downgrades, bad/fake economic data, sovereign debt loads, derivatives exposure and ignored laws.  If it is true then the markets will rip until some piece of bad news that is not properly managed and put in its "context" takes it down for a few days.  Back in March of 2009 I remember a guy on CNBC saying that the market taking off would fix most people's problems and that governments/fed should do all it could to make that happen.  Looks like that has been the game plan and will be in the future.

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:05 | 1952229 loftgroovv
    loftgroovv's picture

    How long before a war in Syria and Iran to distract our attention?

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:05 | 1952230 Tsar Pointless
    Tsar Pointless's picture

    I say go by this map

    http://www.buzzfeed.com/keenan/european-map-of-penis-size

    when considering the bailout "packages" each European country receives.

    Save the French! Please!

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:05 | 1952231 I am Jobe
    I am Jobe's picture

    Wowwee. Dow just jumped to over 100.Printers running at full speed. Who the fuck is buying this crap?

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:05 | 1952234 anyways
    anyways's picture

    U made my day Tyler, thanks ;-)

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:06 | 1952237 Big Ben
    Big Ben's picture

    Always at 3pm, just like clockwork!

    If the ECB doesn't print, PIIGS may (will) default. Conclusion: don't buy PIIGS debt!

    If the ECB does print, PIIGS don't default, but euro becomes worthless. Conclusion: Don't buy any euro debt (even German)!

    So I don't see why these ECB rumors are viewed as hopeful signs.

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:06 | 1952238 lolmao500
    lolmao500's picture

    http://www.activistpost.com/2011/12/pentagons-1033-program-giving-free.html

    The Pentagon’s 1033 program: giving free military equipment to police departments around the U.S.

    The police in the United States have been steadily militarized over the past decade to the point of absurdity, as recently exemplified by police rolling out an armored personnel carrier (APC) to the Occupy Tampa protests.

    Benjamin Carlson of The Daily covered one of the more unsettling recent developments in this militarization of police, the Department of Defense’s obscure “1033 program” which has given away almost $500 million in leftover military equipment to law enforcement in the fiscal year of 2011.

    This year’s total is more than double the amount of equipment handed out in 2010, which was $212 million worth of military gear, setting a new record for the program.

    Included in this distribution of military equipment are: armored vehicles, like the one seen at Occupy Tampa and in towns and cities across the nation, along with M-16 assault rifles, grenade launchers, helicopters and even military robots.

    Yet the 1033 program looks like it is getting even worse, with orders for the fiscal year 2012 being up 400% over the same period in 2011 according to data provided by the Pentagon’s Defense Logistics Agency to The Daily.

    If it keeps at this pace, that would mean $2 billion in equipment for American police departments in the fiscal year 2012.

     

    FREEDOM!

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:11 | 1952260 Caviar Emptor
    Caviar Emptor's picture

    Well are you really surprised? 

    THey figured out how to keep the banks alive and the bankers in their Guccis without the need to have a growing economy. As Main Street and the middle class die on the vine, they're going to need industrial strength jack boots, and weapons of intimidation to keep the party going...forever! 

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:11 | 1952266 I am Jobe
    I am Jobe's picture

    Or shoot to kill. Protec the crooks and kill the civilians is the motto

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:12 | 1952279 Caviar Emptor
    Caviar Emptor's picture

    But of course! Can't let them storm the palace. The generalissimo is having his lunch! 

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 20:30 | 1953197 francis_sawyer
    francis_sawyer's picture

    Let me introduce you to my little friend...

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 17:30 | 1952720 theprofromdover
    theprofromdover's picture

    For the conspircacy theorists, a big military trained and practising on foreigners before joining homeland police force, would be the ideal recruits for an anti-people brute squad. Problem is, the pathetic leadership in the army and in Washington meant the people supported the grunts, and the grunts have not been isolated like other vets from unpopular wars.

    So maybe a heavily armed, enlarged police force might not follow the orders they are going to be given.

    Interesting times.

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:07 | 1952242 Schmuck Raker
    Schmuck Raker's picture

    Why announce this stuff now, and upstage what is sure to be a grand celebration of happiness and light at the conclusion of The Summit to End All Summits?

    Say! You don't suppose...?!

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:11 | 1952262 buzlightening
    buzlightening's picture

    Building to a 12/13 sell the fomc news.  Ezero has nothing to add to the towering paper fiat inferno mix except rumors.  bentrod will save us all.

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:08 | 1952246 buzlightening
    buzlightening's picture

    Down into the monetary Titanic hull to drill some more montrous holes and save the ship.  Take on more debt times 100; leveragwe to 1000 to 1.  Nothings sunk until the global citizens are drowned, bloated, and floating to the surface of this building fiat carnage. 

    Tue, 12/06/2011 - 16:09 | 1952251 mktsrmanipulated
    mktsrmanipulated's picture

    the truth is the general public doesnt care....as long as they go home from their mind numbing fucking jobs and see the mkt was up and their 401k was up thats all they care about

     

     

    the us mkt= greatest ponzi scheme in history

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