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FT Releases Mother Of All Rumors
Remember when everyone would dread the 3pm hour when the FT would mysteriously come up with some about to be discredited deus ex machina rumor? Those days are back, and this time the FT hits us, baby, one MOAR time:
- EU OFFICIALS WEIGH RUNNING TWO RESCUE FUNDS TOGETHER, FT SAYS
- EU WEIGHS RUNNING TWO RESCUE FUNDS, MORE IMF SUPPORT: FT
- EU WEIGHS GIVING ESM ACCESS TO ECB FUNDING, FT SAYS
In other words, Europe has now given up on nuances and has resorted to nuclear rumormongering: it is commingling all failed funds, adding the IMF, and promises to add Marsian capital as soon as said capital is discovered. That the EFSF was unable to raise €3 billion (and only did so with underwriters retaining half of the issued bonds) on its way to €1 trillion (let alone €2) remains irrelevant.
Some rumors that remain still to be added:
- EU WEIGHS PULLING GOLD FILLINGS FROM CITIZENS TO BAILOUT GOLDMAN SACHS AND OTHER BANKS
- EU OFFICIALS HAVE REACHED OUT TO ALPHA CENTAURI FOR PREFERRED SHARE INVESTMENT; INITIAL RESPONSE FAVORABLE
- FITCH PLANNING TO RAISE EUROPE CREDIT RATING TO AAAA+
- EUROPE PREANNOUNCES MASSIVE EPS BEAT ON BLOWING OUT CDS SPREADS
And so on.
This idiocy confirms we have officially rached the beginning of the end.
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...annnd how would the ESM get ECB funding without the okay to print by Germany?
OT:
http://books.google.com/books?id=4OZAYNORresC&lpg=PA81&ots=EcDa5Pki_K&dq=boj%20reaction%20bubble&pg=PA84#v=onepage&q=boj%20reaction%20bubble&f=false
Page 84, section 3.1 third paragraph
It won't be enough. Europe needs at least 2 or 3 more acronyms to have a chance!
I HAVEN'T SEEN THIS INFO COME ACROSS CNBS YET?????????????????
Not only has CNBS touted the rumor in full force, but added another heaping rumor course into the shitty meal du jour with an "Exclusive" interview by Michelle 'look-at-my-breasts-not-face' Cabrerra with Italy's ECB head who says "Italy bond rates have seen their peak".
I really f'ing hate these media assholes!
As always... to be fair & balanced...
I... for one... DON'T hate their BREASTS... There, I said it...
This has got to be the funniest article of the day. Combine that with the caption commentators on the ZH Merkozy hand-holding and my sides are still hurting! ZH on great form today :)
Its just an unsubstantiated rumour at the moment, but I heard the Martians were selling Italian and Greek CDSs, and have an open bid for whatever Eurobonds come available in the New Year. They must know something. Anyone know if Martians are gifted with foreknowledge??
Hate breast??!! Noway!! Been dreaming of being breastfed by Angela Merkel and Carla Bruni with more rumors!
She's just keeping us abreast of the situation, that's all.
I heard they are going to seize the gold assets of the Leprechaun's too. So appreciate those rainbows while we have them.
And yes, Michelle's breasts are worth looking at, thank god for the mute button.
Tagline! How about a great Tagline for the double barrelled bazooka? Two Funds are More Fun! or something
Wait for it, there will be a third fund because you need to have at least three shells for a proper shell game.
How many in this forum... (& let's be honest)... Haven't thought about giving Michele Caruso Cabrera's breast the "double barreled bazooka"?
<== Give 'em the double barreled bazooka
<== No, my name is CIVIC MUNDI, I save my double barreled bazookas for Justin Beiber JPEG's
You motorboat'n son of a bitch! You old sailor you!
Gunpoint.
Germany will break and print.
BLANC CHEQUE BABY!!!.
...and when they do, they'll soon realize that they should have done it much, much sooner.
Eurobonds are The Final Solution to the phantom menace that is the European Debt Crisis.
The Logo is all wrong, Mr Horseman. Should be Doggy style!! How about wolf doggy style on sheeps in long line?
Doggy style, with a representative taxpayer (aka serf) being bound and gagged, while having a hot poker shoved up his arse by the ghost of Mayer Amschel Rothschild (or any of his present living offspring or their hired jackals).
How's this as a RE-DO on the logo?
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-8uncXBurYvQ/Tt6KhNU9lNI/AAAAAAAAEHc/_sVcRgYVaAs/s72-c/usFEDnfw.JPG
Double good.
1000 up arrows.
Why does that more closely resemble the black eagle under the third reich than U.S. bald eagel?
http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQrnRffFWjQi6tyIbjcdYjKp69JO-uxa...
Is the eagle riding an afro comb?
Piss off the final solution... Merde.
As the OP said, this is just flat out rumor mongering in order to force something. The end is about to come and when it does, it will be horrible.
EU WEIGHS GIVING ESM ACCESS TO ECB FUNDING, FT SAYS - This is major.
The word RESCUE doesnt sound too BULLISH to me.
you wouldn't think... but when everyone's so beaten down and scared... it sounds bullish, watch the market zoom if "rescue" is actually the word that goes out.
Alpha Centauri placed on CreditWatch negative by Stellar and Planetary Ratings (S&P) on news it may touch Europe as this poses severe intergallactic contagion risk that may extend beyond the Solar System
On reality, the rumour is of Merkozy pulling a larger double barreled bazooka that still sprays low pressure water squirts.
Fascinating.
all this EFSF stuff reminds me of my prostate.
Merkozy decided to scrap the bullshit act that wasn't working and cut to the chase:
*Supreme irony of the day = all debt that has saturated PIIGS+France+UK is already due the House of the Red Shield as it is, compliments of fractional reserve bankster hyenas.
Just before the plebes get an opportunity to storm the Bastille in protest of what would be a total, rather than near total, loss of their sovereignty....
Oh look over there! It's a [insert black flag/engineered calamity/circusInfinitized/sheeple catnip of your choice here]
Damn you anti-semites. Damn you to hell and back.
Got my bottle of Champagne and my foie gras ready when the French Franc is re-introduced. Champagne ages relatively ok, and the fois gras is in the can so it can last a couple of years. I won´t have to throw it away. On the bright side, the faster the SHTF the faster we can rebuild.... Bring this on so we can get over with it, and so we can get wasted with good booze.
"Rescue" is a 'BOT' term...
It only means something to MIT geeks (who write the algos for the squid)... You're not in the club...
Major? Because levered debt upon levered debt will fix a levered debt problem? I agree with Tyler, this is the beginning of the end...
Nothing a couple of quadrillion of derivatives can't fix.
Or horribly amplify.
Not to worry, it's all hedged, and net exposure is zero. What could go wrong?
Why not 3 funds instead of 2?
Whom gonna place the money for the funds? Offshore Accounts?
FALSE HISTORY again crappy manipulated by curiously UK MEDIA....INCREDIBLE....
I disagree somewhat.
"ECB WEIGHS GIVING ESM ACCESS TO ECB FUNDING, FT SAYS" Would be major.
Which rules do they just break and which do they do complex things to work around?
HOORAY Europe is magically fixed! A sprinkle of Pixie dust here, maybe some angel dust thrown in too....a little unicorn horn there...FIXED!
Now, sell the news!
EU announces formation of 137 distinct bailout vehicles, which will continually bailout countries and each other for the next century. Heads of everyone in Europe, who understands basic economics and mathematics, exlplode instantly and simultaneously, leaving the measure unopposed.
Long MAGIC WANDS (which only take AAA+ batteries)
sell the news sheepie?? but why, I BELIEVE!!!!!
Tyler's final sentence is the most important. Get ready, people!
How? I haven't bought Graham's reports yet LOL.
Buy gold? It is spiking nicely: http://www.oilbull.com/gold-price/
I suppose a little spare food might be a good idea.
...silver had an even more impressive launch today...
this game is far from over.
the talk is what is the world's share of the PIIGS, do they proceed with just PIIS or include G, what amount of the paper is needed to keep borrowing rates inside an affordable margin spread throughout the world, and what currencies have to look like at the end of this contribution based on the central bankers' foolish desires.
ATTENTION BOYS AND GIRLS! IT'S AN ACRONYM ALERT!
France
United Kingdom
Cyprus
Estonia
Denmark
OK boys and girls! Rearrange all the letters that are IN CAPITALS to make a new word!
Your answer will tell you about your FUTURE! GOOD LUCK!!
...add Finland and you'll spell what we are...
And Kazakhstan...
...add Austria, Spain and Sweden and you get exact place where you will feel the pain of your FUTURE.
You missed Kansas city after Cyprus,but we get the drift.
seriously, for them to do this, shows desperation.. shadow banking must be days from breaking down.
hours...
perhaps you are right. Shanghai decline may indicate carry trade unwinds. And we we aren't seeing it signaled in FX markets because of the CB swap lines. If it breaks 2080, then I'd be very concerned, since it may indicate everyone preemptively heading for the exit, and a risk-free preference.
Kicking the can down the road....trouble is the can lands one inch from the technocrats boot!!!
+1 for your avatar but it does seem that the can is getting larger
that too and heavier...Mother of all Debt Neutron Stars!!! You can’t fool physics! :]
DOW likes the beginning of the end.
Hooray, more free money to the bankers!
With all this trickle down, soon I shall be a hundredaire.
Why stop at two?
Two are enough. The small one is for Northern Europeans, the big one for Mediterraneans.
why not three rescue funds
Merkozy announces the:
Prin'it like a mo'fuck'r bitchz
money ain't a thang
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XK-KFfYA2Vk
Stocks rise as argument at Kardashian household subsides.
Rapidly moving from the sublime to the stupid.
CD...where ya been? No computers in work release?
The funny farm has finally deemed me fit for public presentation and conjugal visits. Been too busy conjugating to visit ZH much lately. Trying to make up for lost time. :>)
Get it while you can, brother.
Anything with the word "access to ECB funding" is bound to trigger the HFT buying.
That wouldn't.
this is getting Hitchcockien and George Smilyen... What is the cabal trying to concoct?
Is the FT loosing its famous STIIF UPPER LIP...TO GO SO ORSON WELLIAN?
...This is officially the beginning of the end...
That is right from ...the Martians are coming."Wonder twin powers activate..."
FT, Guardian ..this is crap...
ECB =NEW MASTER HEDGE FUND
Welcome to the club!
-Dr. Ben Shalom Bernanke
I'm thinking that the Euro banks are behind these rumors and that manipulating the ES is keeping them afloat right now.
My thoughts on the end of the euro and eurozone and the US...
http://goo.gl/myCm2
"Markets rally on Euro debt talk hope"
There, I've sorted out the Marketwatch headline for 17 of the next 24 days.
There, you fixed it for us...
The UK can and probably will single-handily torpedo the treaty changes proposed by Merkel and Sarkozy.
From here:
http://globaleconomicanalysis.blogspot.com/2011/12/12-of-26-economists-in-financial-times.html
Well I hope so.
Won't happen.
The Tories will make some Euro sceptic noise, followed then by acceptance with a few broadly worded, ultimately empty paragraphs having been inserted into the final draft.
That way the Tories can claim victory, despite actually towing the line.
Wait, I think I've watched this show before.
I received this email from a friend in Hawaii. This was written before 1947. My friends grandfather was flying a small plane for recreational enjoyment on Dec 7, 1941, flying over Honolulu as the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor (and the rest of Oahu) began.
Very interesting slice of life here. 3 pages. What is very interesting also is the "denial". They landed their plane during the attack, got out, moved 30 planes to separate them in case of a further attack, and then drove to the police to inform them of the attack, and the police basically laughed at them, in denial that we could have been attacked.
Read it. Drop a comment.
http://oahutrading.blogspot.com/2011/12/pearl-harbor-attack.html
This is bullish, reflation trade in, risk on. Believe it or not, market squeezes out shorts, algos on and inst. performace chasers going nuts.
I am hoping that the average European is somehow more knowledgeable or smart about fiat money. The fact is that it's untenable, the sooner the man in the street gets it the better.
Ban fiat!
Average Swiss, perhaps. The rest likely think of money as being a government creation (similar to the rest of the "developed" world).
EU "WEIGHS"...
So basically they've done absolutely nothing, and are just "weighing" the option. Put that in the news, and eureka, the world is saved.
Nothing makes it more clear that the market is one big casino than billions of dollars trading on headlines such as this.
Well duh, it about time they came up with a plan. Makes sense, you can't run a shell game with only one shell.
How long before Robochump shows up to cheerlead the rally...
love it...lmao...where was he yesterday after the move down...lmao
http://www.datelinezero.com/2011/12/06/michigan-citizens-to-be-educated-...
Michigan Citizens To Be 'Educated and Prepared for Homeland Security'
http://news.yahoo.com/chinas-hu-urges-navy-prepare-combat-160509787.html
China's Hu urges navy to prepare for combat
So... just what's in that snowcone???
so let me get this right we can create another vehicle every time our current vehicle has problems or is not well received?? WHY NIT CALL THE NEXT ONE EUFO....
EUROPEAN
UNDERFUNDED
FUCKING
OBLIGATIONS.....
AND GET OFF THE BULLSHIT....the only fix is print thats it...
What ever happened to repsonsible journalism? As an objective person wouldnt you ask the question.....
If your debt is to high cause of leverage isnt a new vehicle desinged to leverage more be equivalent to someone getting another credit card to pay his monthly credit card bills....wtf is this world coming to
The banksters will do anything to goose the market so they can get fat xmas bonuses
Many lower-level employees of these firms are losing their jobs. Goosing the market while laying of employees is especially Machivellian. Banksters have no scruples.
Bank run going on in Greece?
http://www.spiegel.de/international/europe/0,1518,802051,00.html
Anxious Greeks Emptying Their Bank AccountsThats story is mine,
Der Spiegel always copies other bloggers/editors.
http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/522/bankruns.jpg/
...it took too long, don't forget, that the Buba has given the Greek National Bank a nice obolus of some....Eur 70 bill if I'm not wrong. Hopefullly the Deutsche Michel doesn't know it....yet.
Sounds like they are going "all in" with a pair of 3's.
...on the "river"
Same old for the free market of the free world (invisible hand and all included): Rally first, ask later, and never ever think twice (or think at all). The sharpest knives in the drawer are at work!
Actually there is a third bailout rumor coming from somewhere near Uruanus. Experts are still deciphering the message but they think that will be one that saves the day.
Some anal-cyst was accused of pulling the uranus bailout rumor from his arsehole, and it's is now being angrily smeared and smudged as such.
no point in fighting it. Just succumb. Go long. All in. Put every penny you have in stocks. And financials at that! Do it!
i don't see what the problem is -
they raised euro 3bln, into Fund A, leverage that 5 times and you have 15 bln, leverage that 5 times and you have 75 billion, leverage that 5 times and you have 375 billion, leverage that 5 times and you have 1.875 trillion.
so, they already have the seed capital and 2 funds, they just need 2 more funds and they're done.
they're half way home.
CDO squared (squared)
Longs better hope SPX 1266.73 can be topped on the news... if not ....... it will smell like death!
hah! just short of it man! awesome
don't get excited yet, wait until next week for more clarity after brussel but my bet the rumors will linger and sustain markets for a few months until blow up in a few months
PKEA - that sentiment is how tops are made
true but the top can last a few months...it appears that the SP's bottom line at around 1250 is the new fed's mandate
A close under SPY 126.55 would be a BEAR'S DELIGHT!
Are they going to leverage that fund 40:1 too?
This is a bad joke.
Pump it, pump it, pump it !
Marx is laughing, at last he may very well get redeemed and proven right next year.
What do you want from zombie capitalism but rumors? it's their dessert. Printing soon will be irrelevant.
Buy! Cover your shorts! Happy days are here!
my recomendation is inundate all media sources that report BS...i have been doing it for the past few weeks...emails phone calls etc.
cnbc 1-877-280-4548
The financial sector in the EU and US are now fully self-funding through the Fed and ECB.
The real economy, the middle class can now drop dead. It won't affect bonds, stocks, or derivatives.
Success!!
EU OFFCIALS WEIGH THE CLAIM THAT NOW MONEY ACTUALLY DOES GROW ON TREES
EU OFFCIALS PROPOSE FOLLOWING RAINBOW TO ITS END TO RETRIEVE GOLD
EU OFFCIALS PROPOSE LEVERAGING GOLD AT END OF RAINBOW
What about leveraging rainbows? Or in this case, diverting rainbow 1 to merge with rainbow 2 to get some weird new breed of leprachaun.
Well tobacco leaves have been used as money. In colonial America, for example. And cigarettes were used as currency in Berlin immediately after the end of the second world war. But of course, tobacco doesn't grow on trees.
But...it works. S&P up almsot 10 points in last 40 minutes. Let me see...with the momentum this will build into the close and then the post close CNBC love fest, should be good for a few hundred million at least.
If there's any money left over, I need about $30K to redo the metal roof on one of my pole barns....
That is one tall order, bro...No can do!
We got many many banks to fund and rescue over here before the Xmas party season.
Enjoy it, though!
If these funds are in trillions I wouldn't be shy and take at least a few M's
Assuming it is a rumour, don't these idiots realise by doing this they are going to make the final crash far worse than it would have been otherwise?
Or maybe the ECB IS going to print? Or the Fed do an overt QE3 and lower discount and funds rate to zero? That's all that's left.
Either way, desperation and the beginning of the end indeed.
DavidC
This news will ramp the market today and if it turns out to be a rumor nobody will remember before the next new rumor is released. Just like nobody cares about the S&P downgrades, bad/fake economic data, sovereign debt loads, derivatives exposure and ignored laws. If it is true then the markets will rip until some piece of bad news that is not properly managed and put in its "context" takes it down for a few days. Back in March of 2009 I remember a guy on CNBC saying that the market taking off would fix most people's problems and that governments/fed should do all it could to make that happen. Looks like that has been the game plan and will be in the future.
How long before a war in Syria and Iran to distract our attention?
I say go by this map
http://www.buzzfeed.com/keenan/european-map-of-penis-size
when considering the bailout "packages" each European country receives.
Save the French! Please!
Wowwee. Dow just jumped to over 100.Printers running at full speed. Who the fuck is buying this crap?
U made my day Tyler, thanks ;-)
Always at 3pm, just like clockwork!
If the ECB doesn't print, PIIGS may (will) default. Conclusion: don't buy PIIGS debt!
If the ECB does print, PIIGS don't default, but euro becomes worthless. Conclusion: Don't buy any euro debt (even German)!
So I don't see why these ECB rumors are viewed as hopeful signs.
http://www.activistpost.com/2011/12/pentagons-1033-program-giving-free.html
The Pentagon’s 1033 program: giving free military equipment to police departments around the U.S.
The police in the United States have been steadily militarized over the past decade to the point of absurdity, as recently exemplified by police rolling out an armored personnel carrier (APC) to the Occupy Tampa protests.
Benjamin Carlson of The Daily covered one of the more unsettling recent developments in this militarization of police, the Department of Defense’s obscure “1033 program” which has given away almost $500 million in leftover military equipment to law enforcement in the fiscal year of 2011.
This year’s total is more than double the amount of equipment handed out in 2010, which was $212 million worth of military gear, setting a new record for the program.
Included in this distribution of military equipment are: armored vehicles, like the one seen at Occupy Tampa and in towns and cities across the nation, along with M-16 assault rifles, grenade launchers, helicopters and even military robots.
Yet the 1033 program looks like it is getting even worse, with orders for the fiscal year 2012 being up 400% over the same period in 2011 according to data provided by the Pentagon’s Defense Logistics Agency to The Daily.
If it keeps at this pace, that would mean $2 billion in equipment for American police departments in the fiscal year 2012.
FREEDOM!
Well are you really surprised?
THey figured out how to keep the banks alive and the bankers in their Guccis without the need to have a growing economy. As Main Street and the middle class die on the vine, they're going to need industrial strength jack boots, and weapons of intimidation to keep the party going...forever!
Or shoot to kill. Protec the crooks and kill the civilians is the motto
But of course! Can't let them storm the palace. The generalissimo is having his lunch!
Let me introduce you to my little friend...
For the conspircacy theorists, a big military trained and practising on foreigners before joining homeland police force, would be the ideal recruits for an anti-people brute squad. Problem is, the pathetic leadership in the army and in Washington meant the people supported the grunts, and the grunts have not been isolated like other vets from unpopular wars.
So maybe a heavily armed, enlarged police force might not follow the orders they are going to be given.
Interesting times.
Why announce this stuff now, and upstage what is sure to be a grand celebration of happiness and light at the conclusion of The Summit to End All Summits?
Say! You don't suppose...?!
Building to a 12/13 sell the fomc news. Ezero has nothing to add to the towering paper fiat inferno mix except rumors. bentrod will save us all.
Down into the monetary Titanic hull to drill some more montrous holes and save the ship. Take on more debt times 100; leveragwe to 1000 to 1. Nothings sunk until the global citizens are drowned, bloated, and floating to the surface of this building fiat carnage.
the truth is the general public doesnt care....as long as they go home from their mind numbing fucking jobs and see the mkt was up and their 401k was up thats all they care about
the us mkt= greatest ponzi scheme in history