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Full PFG CEO Suicide Note

Tyler Durden's picture


"I have committed fraud. For this I feel constant and intense guilt...


The forgeries started nearly twenty years ago...


Should I go out of business or cheat...


I guess my ego was too big to admit failure..."


CEO Suicide note details:


Full Affidavit here:

PGF Affidavit


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Fri, 07/13/2012 - 14:57 | 2613936 Roy Bush
Roy Bush's picture

These guys are so incompetent.  They can't even kill themselves.  Can it really be that hard?

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:01 | 2613954 johnQpublic
johnQpublic's picture

no shit

better luck next time on that suicide attemp

we are pulling for his future success


Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:04 | 2613965 Roy Bush
Roy Bush's picture

Hopefully there will be a time whern they won't even have the option to kill themselves. 

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:05 | 2613978 SheepRevolution
SheepRevolution's picture

Perhaps there is no printing press for fiat money in hell, so he changed his mind and decided to stay alive?

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:15 | 2614060 skistroni
skistroni's picture

He should have hired one of the "investors" in his company to do the job. It would be less costly and most of all, effective.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:24 | 2614109 Troll Magnet
Troll Magnet's picture

at least the guy still had some conscience to admit his misdeeds and shortcomings.  where the fuck is corzine?

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:40 | 2614186 whstlblwr
whstlblwr's picture

His 'ego was too big to admit failure' so he says it's the reason he cheated. Why does this sound too familiar? Across the board it is happening in the world. No upstanding guys around. Where are heroes for us to look up to? All slimy politicians and corporate whores. Even Ron Paul runs over his supporters for cash. You think he quits the race and holds on to his supporter list. His words were right, but his actions...sleezeball.

This country needs a good cleaning out. Anyone not involved in local elections and local work needs to get off your ass now.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:43 | 2614202 Stackers
Stackers's picture

More and better funded regulation surely would have caught him.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:45 | 2614214 whstlblwr
whstlblwr's picture

Not if it's funded by him

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:48 | 2614228 Manthong
Manthong's picture

"There are three ways to make a living in this business: be first, be smarter, or cheat."

-Margin Call

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 17:15 | 2614563 smiler03
smiler03's picture

 "Later in the signed statement..."

That suggests to me that this is NOT as claimed, a "Full PFG CEO Suicide Note". Sloppy journalism.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 18:12 | 2614682 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture

"I have committed fraud. For this I feel constant and intense guilt...

The forgeries started nearly twenty years ago..."


i lolled....


it's the "constant" part that gets 'em every time

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 17:17 | 2614571 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

OK, the guy fucked up big time but you gotta admit one thing.

He has big fucking balls.


Fri, 07/13/2012 - 17:31 | 2614595 caconhma
caconhma's picture

We are good on fraud! Just look below.

Syria's army ambushed and prevented the massacre

13. July 2012

Dmitry Glushach


Terrorist groups were planning to commit the massacre in the village Tarmisa, a suburb of Hama. As a result of the radio communication intercept, Syrian security forces staged their ambush. 122 terrorists were killed and 40 were taken prisoners. The civilian massacre was averted. Corrupt Western media was ready for the civilian massacre information dump but there were problems. Now, they have pictures of dead terrorists portrayed as massacred civilians. Below are photo of CIA/Mossad mercenaries before and after the ambush.



Sorry, ZeroHedge is not allowing to paste pictures.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 18:32 | 2614715 Questan1913
Questan1913's picture


Very good to know he has at least one admiring fan out there.  Just a poor victim of circumstances, totally beyond his control.  Actually, it's  mostly the fault of those that deposited funds in his enterprise; they are at least partly complicit.  Maybe you could be a character reference for him at trial.  Yours would be the "big fucking balls" testimonial.  Gotta be worth something, eh?

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 23:58 | 2615196 Harlequin001
Harlequin001's picture

Niot only 'big fucking balls' but a shit load of other people's money.

Hardly a mitigating factor...

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 19:08 | 2614789 nmewn
nmewn's picture


"More and better funded regulation surely would have caught him."

Maybe you didn't read all the way to the end of his note..."and regulators accepted them without question."...regulators are mostly in rubber stamping & processing mode...that will never change.

On the bright side, his trial will be short ;-)

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 04:29 | 2615336 zhandax
zhandax's picture

Bingo!  None of this matters until TPTB realize that he did not grease the appropriate wheels necessary to ignore this mess and it becomes obvious that he could be displayed on MSM as a poster boy to prove graham-dodd really works

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 16:01 | 2614281 runlevel
runlevel's picture

the fuck are you talking about?

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 18:13 | 2614300 whstlblwr
whstlblwr's picture

In the PFG suicide note he tells us his ego is too big for failure. That's the fuck I'm talking about.

Bernanke's ego is too big for failure, all the fucking banker's egos are too big. They all fucking failed. Obama failed. Instead of manning up they're throwing all of us under the fucking bus.

And if you're referring to the RP comment. Wake the fuck up. The guy sold us out.

edit: I'm still going to Tampa mostly to meet others there to plan for the future. Definitely not sending his campaign money. Is it the worst campaign in the world or what? The minute it looks like he wins, he cancels his campaign and asks for money. Can't make that shit up.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 14:58 | 2616170 prole
prole's picture

Very clever RP bashing there friend.

You know who your true friends are: The ones who kick you in the head when you are down.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 00:37 | 2615234 Diogenes
Diogenes's picture

Out raising money for Obama.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:30 | 2614137 _ConanTheLibert...
_ConanTheLibertarian_'s picture

or maybe John Perkins

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:06 | 2613991 Cheesy Bastard
Cheesy Bastard's picture

I guess his ego wasn't too big to admit failure at suicide.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 19:29 | 2614818 nmewn
nmewn's picture

White collar criminals are a funny sort...they can do immense damage year after year and their conscience never seems gets to they are not the ones being damaged.

The uncomplicated thought of sticking a .357 in his mouth never occured to him I guess...why, that might cause himself some real damage and ruin the bedroom paint job.

If he happens to get put in ass pounding prison with a cell mate who lost his house a year or two ago and made one bad decision to stick up a convience store and he relates his multiple bad decisions to this cell mate (who I assume could be, otherwise, as ethically upright as you or I) he may get a real life lesson.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 04:52 | 2615340 zhandax
zhandax's picture

I almost hate to wish that upon this poor schmuck, given corizine still walks free, but failure to keep accounts segregated should result in the worst outcome currently possible

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 08:28 | 2615427 Widowmaker
Widowmaker's picture

I sure as fuck don't.  These faggots in pinstripes pacing in ivory towers want nothing more than fuck you over and destroy all that is not theirs (in the name of "economic growth").  

Internal policies, regulatory rules, laws, ethics, morals and common decency are totally meaningless in their world of racketeering and pilfering common man.

ZH posters by in large are completely clueless how life works "at the top."     

You are nothing but meat that they self-serve to themselves and then grind up and serve rotten to some other poor fuck.

The more faggot-banker blood on the pavement the better.



Sat, 07/14/2012 - 13:46 | 2616011 zhandax
zhandax's picture

We are in complete agreement.  The essence of what I was trying to express is that hanging some ass-hat in a cornstalk tower in Iowa out to dry simply allows the pols a talking point that they 'did something' while expressly allowing the thieves in the real ivory towers of Manhattan to walk free.  I am offended that the pols get some credit while completely avoiding addressing the real problem created by the same criminals who pay said pols.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:05 | 2613986 Hippocratic Oaf
Hippocratic Oaf's picture

There may be hope, maybe he's a ZH reader.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:16 | 2614064 noses
noses's picture

I wouldn't really want to buy his futures – can't have that many left.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 16:24 | 2614363 grid-b-gone
grid-b-gone's picture

If they'd just employ some robo-whackers for $15 per hour, they could hit their targets.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 19:40 | 2614846 monoloco
monoloco's picture

As soon as he recovers, he should be hanged.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 00:02 | 2615201 torak
torak's picture

We can only hope he is a role for the rest of the pond scum in the financial world.  Perhaps they can get it right.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:03 | 2613977 resurger
resurger's picture


Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:04 | 2613979 Debtless
Debtless's picture

Repost, since I care that much.

I offer my marksmanship expertise to any and all banksters/politicians/plain old assholes who wish to off themselves properly.

Services guaranteed.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 19:27 | 2614811 HungrySeagull
HungrySeagull's picture

That would be something I understand as well.

The fatal T being the word.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:05 | 2613987 Desert Irish
Desert Irish's picture

If you REALLY intended to kill he can claim depression and all manner of ills that some money grubbing shrink and laywer will be all over....

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:09 | 2614014 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

I believe the old saying is nobody "tries" to commit suicide. You either do it or it's fake.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:17 | 2614071 MeBizarro
MeBizarro's picture

Plenty of people try to commit suicide and are unsuccessful for a variety of reasons. 

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:28 | 2614133 MeBizarro
MeBizarro's picture

You can post a simple fact on here that isn't even debateable (most suicide attempts fail) and yet it gets a massive amount of thumbs down for some reason on here. 

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:35 | 2614163 Desert Irish
Desert Irish's picture

3 down votes are massive!! you get more for grammatical errors here.......harden the fuck up

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:46 | 2614216 Cugel
Cugel's picture

Ease up on him. He's already failed at suicide.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 17:22 | 2614576 smiler03
smiler03's picture

 "Plenty of people try to commit suicide and are unsuccessful for a variety of reasons." 

"You can post a simple fact on here that isn't even debateable (most suicide attempts fail) and yet it gets a massive amount of thumbs down for some reason on here."

Welcome to ZH, where the readers have no logic and are incapable of simple reasoning. 


Fri, 07/13/2012 - 17:30 | 2614592 akak
akak's picture

So then what keeps you hanging around here, you abrasive and arrogant Eurotrash asswipe?

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 15:02 | 2616176 prole
prole's picture

I heard he's here strictly for the blobbing

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:42 | 2614195 Debtless
Debtless's picture

You might be better off hanging out at Marketwatch.

With all the thin-skinned cunts over there. Just sayin'.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 16:28 | 2614378 Itch
Itch's picture

The most incompetent guy i ever knew successfully killed himself. A belt around the door, made sure the door was locked, threw up the rope and away he went. Nothing to it logistically, just takes a lot of nerve. If someone wants to die they will get their wish, most attempts are cries for help though. If this guy wanted to die, he would have gone to a secluded place and went quietly. These big pantomime gestures are suspect, maybe his lawyer put him up to it, who knows.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 17:24 | 2614582 smiler03
smiler03's picture

+1 You're an endangered species here.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 08:22 | 2615431 Widowmaker
Widowmaker's picture

You are rigtht, King-faggot Paulson's TARP was a cry for help.

Then the first paid were all the fraud fuckups with record bonuses out of your future covering up their fraud Inc worldwide.

So, what you are saying is a belt above a door is a bunch of pussies crying to fuck everyone else over when they locked themselves in and YOU get hung..


Fri, 07/13/2012 - 17:41 | 2614610 Red Heeler
Red Heeler's picture

"Plenty of people try to commit suicide and are unsuccessful for a variety of reasons."

I'll go along with that. When I was younger I tried to fornicate myself to death. No dice.

Now I'm trying to drink myself to death with the same result.

I blame Lisa, Laura, Rose, Jackie, Beth, Tanya, Patty, Patti, Christine, and Jack Daniels for my current state of animation.

Mr. PFG, that pathetic bastard, is just looking for sympathy.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 19:30 | 2614821 HungrySeagull
HungrySeagull's picture

There was one in Houston... whew. Many years ago and remember it well. She and I should have stayed the night.

As far as my own deaths I don't worry about those and count the dozens of lives saved including my own. I think that I lost a few and suppose it was their time. Kinda hard to keep someone up when 5 gallons of blood is on the pavement.

As far as the screw ups of others... well... Usually you dont see them again. Ever.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 20:22 | 2614903 Red Heeler
Red Heeler's picture

Beth was from Houston. I wonder . . . .

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 15:06 | 2616187 prole
prole's picture

Am I the only one?? Hungry Seagull's comment scared the shiite out of me.....

Wed, 07/18/2012 - 06:08 | 2627329 HungrySeagull
HungrySeagull's picture

No worries. It is far better to have had someone to love as loved you for a brief time than never to have loved at all.

Regarding the deaths, Trucking had placed me into situations where if I fucked up someone dies and I will be sitting in some podnuck jail for manslaughter times how many counts in the car.

Sir Issac Newton is a hard bastard when you are wrestling with 40 ton and 12 seconds to impact.

It's ok to be scared shitless, it's NOT okay to cease functioning and making decisions/executing them.

That is one of the reasons I hung it up. I saw a kid get inside me (On the right side of trailer) and a S curved Ramp above Dallas one night with concrete wall ahead curving back over to the right...

I gave that goddamn car a extra foot knowing I was on the left side barriers dozens of feet above the fucking city.

He took it, punched it and popped out in front and gave me a middle finger.

3 miles later I pulled into my Company and got on the next plane home.

It was not the situation that got me, but being effed for saving two lives.... that really enraged me.

Never make a heavy equipment operator angry. You would have a right to be scared then.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:12 | 2614043 razorthin
razorthin's picture

He even cheats with a fake, failed suicide.  Sorry mister, Karmic debt not paid.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:37 | 2614175 Apocalicious
Apocalicious's picture

Yet, sadly, less incompetent than the incompetent regulators that failed to catch him. For 20 years. Maybe if they had only required more documents for him to forge they would have uncovered this sooner and saved us all...

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:52 | 2614245 Bollixed
Bollixed's picture

So the question remains, are there really any legit guys that went from their basement to their yachts using other people's money without the leverage of a thief?

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 08:14 | 2615428 Widowmaker
Widowmaker's picture


Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:42 | 2614200 El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture

Actually, the note simply said: "Jamie wants his money".

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 21:17 | 2614981 Buck Johnson
Buck Johnson's picture

It should be obvious to everybody here, the bubble is breaking in everything.  The only time these guys fail and get caught in there schemes is when the market or economy is going down the tubes.  The depressions (and the one we are in right now) 1987, Dot com implosion etc..  As one big financial commentator said on CNBC a few year ago, wait until the tide goes out and you will see who have swimsuits on.  A good economy enables all the scammers to better hide their ponzi's but when a bad one comes it shows all their issues.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 02:44 | 2615298 JOYFUL
JOYFUL's picture

Yu are, of course, supposing that he indeed wished to kill himself, rather than make a pathetic effort to glean some sympathy and imitate contrition....

but in this shadowland of simulated reality, most particularly in this shadow-puppet theatre of ekonmoronic shell-gaming NOTHING, nothing at all be what it seems,

and therefore there is no intent that can be supposed devoid of simulation.

Likewise, the presence of full on fraud, larceny, theft, etc. etc., at the center of this kabuki-eKONonic engine call Euromerika[the hollowed-out similucra of the former western lands] is, contrary to the hopes and suppositions of the Mises faction, the FULL FLOWERING of KAPITALISM: not it's KORruption, as seems to be the default assumption amongst them = we are at

the alpha and omega of the "unregulated marketplace"...where the minions of the S|TA|TE have no bizness intruding, be cause the hearts and minds of so-called free marketers will always be free of avarice, lust of power, and the need to pull "shitty deals" as a way of proving themselve knights of the temple -

Fictions all. This is it, ladies and gentlemen...8 months of witnessing the total rape n pillage of every available public orifice...and we're still supposed to believe that 'a return to sound money" WILL MAKE EVERYTHING ALRIGHT?!?!?...

THIS JUST IN! a USURIOUS BANKING SYSTEM, OWNED BY THUGS IN BESPOKE SUITS IS KAPITALISM AS IT WAS DESIGNED TO BE ...a vulture picking at the bones of the peeple...till we overthrown the tables of the moneychangers and send them all packing back to the fiery  depths from which they sprung. OHH OHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dimon - Get Bronfman on the line -now....


We got a problem. It's the fringe blog again. This time they've gone too far!

How far?

They're talkin about islamic banking!

Get the big guns on it.

Full Press?

Full. You know we can't have that shit!


Sat, 07/14/2012 - 15:12 | 2616200 prole
prole's picture

Um .. No. It can't be Captitalism when political favorites and insiders can call the guy with the printing press and hit the reset button on his failed company.

That is mercantilism at best, creating monopolies and granting  political favors as insider deals to divvy up the loot (taxpayer blood) More like pure Socialism IMO.

Call it Mercantile_marxist fusion Communism.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 14:59 | 2613940 bigdumbnugly
bigdumbnugly's picture

that note should be photocopied and submitted by a whole lotta ceo's.

(inserting particulars as necessary).

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:17 | 2614078 toady
toady's picture

I'll go further and say ANYBODY who participates in these fraudulent markets, and they are ALL fraudulent, needs to read that aloud while looking in a mirror. If they do not immediately pull all their funds out of the market, well, they are no better then this guy.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 17:26 | 2614585 smiler03
smiler03's picture

Why look in a mirror? They have no reflection ;O)

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:31 | 2614150 _ConanTheLibert...
_ConanTheLibertarian_'s picture

Suicide Note Printing Press

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 21:22 | 2614990 Captain Planet
Captain Planet's picture

Mob hit at its finest!

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 14:58 | 2613943 hugovanderbubble
hugovanderbubble's picture


Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:09 | 2614012 Robot Traders Mom
Robot Traders Mom's picture

This year or next?

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:09 | 2614019 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Nationalized. I know what that is. That's when the poor people and not so poor people are forced to pay the crimminals by their bribed politicians. Like Obama and various terrorist senators..

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:40 | 2614189 Apocalicious
Apocalicious's picture

Crimminals? I know what that is. That's like when criminal law meets immigration law, right? ;)

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:00 | 2613950 bob_dabolina
bob_dabolina's picture

His id was too big, not ego.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:06 | 2613997 bigdumbnugly
bigdumbnugly's picture

actually, rereading that note it doesn't sound like what i would think would be a suicide note would sound like.   it looks it is trying to cover a lot of asses while sacrificinmg his own for whatever reason one can only speculate.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:10 | 2614022 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

attempt at getting sympathy

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:12 | 2614033 schoolsout
schoolsout's picture

Thought the same thing..

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:16 | 2614069 EverythingEviL
EverythingEviL's picture

 I had the same feeling

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:19 | 2614080 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Better yet, it isn't even "the note" but a rewrite by an FBI agent.

Now, why isn't the entire note part of the affidavit? Especially if it's signed?

This story is every bit as believable as Obummer's shopped BC.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:22 | 2614104 schoolsout
schoolsout's picture

There was even a typo in it where "nearing" was used instead of "nearly"


Typed up on an iPad?

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:32 | 2614152 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

This might shed some light.  His son is the President and COO of the company.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 09:49 | 2615490 BurningFuld
BurningFuld's picture

Which company is that?

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:51 | 2614233 El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture

I'm sure that "Suicide" note passed through several interested hands involved in the situation, before the final version was submitted, then released...

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 18:07 | 2614669 KTV Escort
KTV Escort's picture

...passed through several attorney's hands involved in the situation...

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 16:30 | 2614386 Rossalgondamer
Rossalgondamer's picture

"You must comprehend there was no way out, I.E. 'exit strategy,' for me other than the one I have chosen here."

-Deborah Jeane Palfrey

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 08:25 | 2615434 Widowmaker
Widowmaker's picture

There will be no common sense here, only bailouts for having none.


T. Geithner

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:00 | 2613951 Soda Popinski
Soda Popinski's picture

When will Blythe Masters follow suit?  That's what I want to know.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:52 | 2614248 El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture

Are you kidding? She probably supplied the means...

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:01 | 2613955 Shizzmoney
Shizzmoney's picture

You know a guy fails at life when he can't even do suicide right.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 17:29 | 2614593 smiler03
smiler03's picture

26 people survived jumping off the Golden Gate. Pussies. /s

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 17:46 | 2614620 akak
akak's picture

Please do us the favor of attempting to be #27.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 19:32 | 2614829 HungrySeagull
HungrySeagull's picture

If I am not mistaken the GG had nets. Workers building the thing have died there.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 23:40 | 2615179 monad
monad's picture


Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:01 | 2613961 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Riiiigggghhht.  This wasn't a set-up. < sarc off >  Now we get to find out who is really in the club.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:02 | 2613962 Long-John-Silver
Long-John-Silver's picture

Nothing is safe except physical Gold and Silver held in your personal possession.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:02 | 2613963 fuu
fuu's picture

A bullet in the head would have worked and saved us the cost of prosecuting your failed ass.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:06 | 2613999 veyron
veyron's picture

Do we really want him to die on his terms?  

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:21 | 2614095 fuu
fuu's picture

Instead of paying to prosecute and incarcerate him? Yes. I could be alone in that though.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:08 | 2614011 youngman
youngman's picture

He was a pretty boy..he would never have shot himself..all the blood and brains messing up his clean starched no no..he wanted to look good in the casket

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 18:50 | 2614754 fuu
fuu's picture

Utter link fail on my part:

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:06 | 2613966 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Who the hell writes a note like this and give the prosecuters everything they need on a platter? I call bullshit, it's all staged to give them a scapegoat. Next up is a silly show trial. Go after Corzine and maybe I'll take you seriously.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:10 | 2614029 Al Huxley
Al Huxley's picture

Spot on Dr. Engali, made the same comment below before reading your's.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:12 | 2614042 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

I'm sure I'm probably not the first either. What makes me mad is people will believe it.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:20 | 2614092 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Worse, they'll use it as an example of "the system working."

Is it beer-thirty yet?

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 16:13 | 2614321 catacl1sm
catacl1sm's picture

sacrificial lamb. Regulators had to come down on someone, so they picked this guy. They probably knew about his scam for a long time and let him keep it up for a time just like now. They tell him to take the fall or his whole family is going down.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 17:33 | 2614599 smiler03
smiler03's picture

Surely the best business startup in the US is as a "Conspiracy Consultant", somehow I can't see any other country being so good at it ;O)

And I'm not calling you Shirley.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:12 | 2614032 Shigure
Shigure's picture

Agreed. It reads like someone dictated it to him.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 18:13 | 2614689 KTV Escort
KTV Escort's picture

see? he was so good at forging shit the regulators could have never known

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:19 | 2614083 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Correct, another act in the circus for the sheeple.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:19 | 2614085 MeBizarro
MeBizarro's picture

Tend to stay away from the conspiracy stuff because for the simple fact that it is tough to maintain silence but this smells a bit rotten & too convenient. 

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:56 | 2614260 kridkrid
kridkrid's picture

Stop. That is the meme put out to discourage people from critical thought. Walk into any courtroom in America... Most cases are "conspiracy". Silly conspiracies are floated out there from time to time to make legit "theories" look silly.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 18:19 | 2614700 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Hold on. You don't think conspiracies can happen but you believe he can get away with this for 20 years?

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:30 | 2614140 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

something tells me that he'll be the recipient of a very well timed "heart attack" and thus rendering a trial unnecessary.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:03 | 2613968 WillyGroper
WillyGroper's picture

20 yrs. & his guilt was intense? Burning, I'm sure.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 09:56 | 2615495 BurningFuld
BurningFuld's picture

It has fuck all to do with guilt. The fucking Bank account was about to go in to overdraft. Nothing more nothing less.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:03 | 2613969 Debtless
Debtless's picture

I offer my marksmanship expertise to any and all banksters/politicians/plain old assholes who wish to off themselves properly.

Services guaranteed. 

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:36 | 2614166 _ConanTheLibert...
_ConanTheLibertarian_'s picture

payment in gold or silver only

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:43 | 2614204 Debtless
Debtless's picture

yep. and no job too big. discounts for entire office offings.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:03 | 2613970 Republi-Ken
Republi-Ken's picture

Another Republican Sociopath bites the dust...

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:11 | 2614030 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture


Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:15 | 2614053 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

I am sure Presidential Cufflink Dimon is a republican too.  Like it makes a difference what one's voter registration card states.  A crook is a crook is a crook. Let's see also about Corzine.  I think he has some association with Obama if memory serves me well.  Then there is Swing Both Ways (politically speaking of course) Summers.  Need I go on, you left right fool?

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:16 | 2614070 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Actually Dimon is a card carrying democrat ,otherwise you are spot on.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:22 | 2614103 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Swing and a miss, there Republi-Ken.

I looked on opensecrets (assuming the same thing you did). The one and only contribution he's made in his name was to a Democrat.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:03 | 2613972 resurger
resurger's picture

"There is no such thing as half way crook"

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 16:36 | 2614414 Unprepared
Unprepared's picture

The Shook Ones, Pt. III?

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:03 | 2613973 Meesohaawnee
Meesohaawnee's picture


Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:03 | 2613976 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

That note should be good for a civil fine and no admission of wrongdoing.

Holder is as big a crook as this incompetent.

So is his boss.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 16:10 | 2614044 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

a civil fine and no admission of wrongdoing

You can be excused for thinking that. However Holder and every DA and AG from one side of the nation to the other is going to be all over this guy like white on rice. They've been treading water, protecting their buddies and the boss' buddies, waiting for the day -- no praying for the day -- when some low-level luzer like this guy comes along and gives them a head to roll.

This will become the biggest media circus of the year.

And Corzine? Nowhere to be found.

And that my friend is the fucking standard operating proceedure.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:05 | 2613982 Ineverslice
Ineverslice's picture

Birth certificates would be no prob for this guy...

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:20 | 2614097 verum quod lies
verum quod lies's picture

Unlike the last Soetoro forgery/fraud that lasted all of a few minutes of scrutiny upon being put online, this one lasted about what 20 years? As frauds go, he at least had some longevity. In short, I’d match his “financial genius” against Barry’s “political genius”. What a couple of maroons. Also, clearly, incompetence and fraud favors the affirmative action candidate over the bankster.


Fri, 07/13/2012 - 16:13 | 2614323 BooMushroom
BooMushroom's picture

Seems like a few random people on the internet could do a better job of rooting out white collar crime than the people that actually get paid to do it...

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:05 | 2613984 bubbleburster
bubbleburster's picture

""Whatever body, and whatever society, wastes more than it acquires, must gradually decay; and every being that continues to be fed, and ceases to labour, takes away something from the publick stock."
Johnson: Idler #22 (September 16, 1758)"


Now consider whether guys like Wasendorf of Madoff (sp?) were doing "labor" as they raped their clients?  The public stock has been sucked dry and then again and again.....yet the total numbers of Occupy Wall Streeters is still pretty small potatos.  However, the storming of the Bastille probably started with just a few people.  At the rate of this stream of new reporting...these last 2 won't take much more till the OWS crowd teems to the tens of thousands....demanding the heads of Bernanke and Geitner.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 15:24 | 2616217 prole
prole's picture

No weren't the uninvited guests of the Bastille "hungry?"

Nobody in this country is hungry. Even the poor are obese. No hunger=No march no mob.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:06 | 2613988 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

20 years of fraud. And this is just the tip of the iceberg. Good luck to everyone possessing money (and soon not).

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:11 | 2613989 LoneStarHog
LoneStarHog's picture

Memo To All You F__king Banksters:

Anytime you want to pull a WasenDorfman and are too damn stupid to do it correctly, please contact a member of ANY Patriot Group and competent, professional assistance shall be rendered - free of charge!

WasenDorfman I guess is not a "legacy" in the Whore Street & WaShitOn fraternity, like Corzine!

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:09 | 2613993 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Well........he seems like a nice guy.


Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:13 | 2614045 Arius
Arius's picture

I think so too ... he shows remorse and obviously regret what he did ... even went to the extreme!

i still believe in their core americans are a good and forgiving people!

lets not be too harsh ... everyone makes mistakes...

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:27 | 2614128 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

God bless us, everyone!

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:31 | 2614144 LoneStarHog
LoneStarHog's picture

Take your f__king Stuart Smalley "Daily Affirmations" and...

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:35 | 2614162 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Ummm... I think your sarcasm detector is broken.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:24 | 2614100 falak pema
falak pema's picture

we are all nice guys until we sup with the devil. 

This lady Barnhadt has a thingie about EVIL and the devil. Its gets my goat. Just saying, a pair of tits that spit on the devil makes my blood turn cold. Tits are like ripe melons, who turn cold and thats bold even untold in history, as they are made by the Maker for saying hello to the devil and the deep blue sea,  like Mary Magdalena or Venus, even without arms, but with tits, like of 'de Milo', never to say "Nein", like you know whooo...but thats just me AND the Chardonnay!

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:08 | 2614000 pashley1411
pashley1411's picture

True contrition consists of confession and acts of repentence.

We are not talking about strapping on a backpack and going for a walk on Wall Street.   But at the very least, he could expose how he manipulated his (non)regulators to approve his Potemkin business/farce; techniques, name names, the higher-up the better; dinners he had, people he schmoozed, politicians who answered his phone calls and ran favors for him, regulators who looked the other way, business associates and employees who facilitiated the fraud.

Can't drain the cesspool until you find the bottom.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:07 | 2614001 doomandbloom
doomandbloom's picture

another "one man" forgery scheme? 


i find it difficult to believe this even with the confession. 

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:25 | 2614118 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Do these entities not undergo audits? I'm having a really hard time believing one person could pull this off.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 10:03 | 2615501 BurningFuld
BurningFuld's picture

Me too. So his accountant is balancing his Bank Statement against what? Like" Damn we lost money here here and here and your personal expenses this year were 10.2 million...ya it all adds up maybe I forgot to carry a one or something."  Give me a fucking break!!!

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:55 | 2614004 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

They must have redacted the part where he confesses to having a man-crush on Jon Corzine.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 19:44 | 2614852 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

cougar_w said:

They must have redacted the part where he confesses to having a man-crush on Jon Corzine.

They redacted the entire first draft. He accidentally signed it Linda Green.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:07 | 2614006 DougM
DougM's picture

When faced with such a conumdrum all you need to do is donate a few thousand to Obama and play dumb. 

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:50 | 2614235 Mesquite
Mesquite's picture

Er..Few Hundred thousand...!

Fixed it...

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:18 | 2614007 slackrabbit
slackrabbit's picture

Is this like a default suicide template used by banking CEO'S, or can parliamentarians use it as well?

Oh and burn in hell you sack if shit. You have destroyed the lives of good honest hard working people, and your not even making an attempt at atonement. It you had any balls at all you would have faced up to it.

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