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Full PFG CEO Suicide Note

Tyler Durden's picture


"I have committed fraud. For this I feel constant and intense guilt...


The forgeries started nearly twenty years ago...


Should I go out of business or cheat...


I guess my ego was too big to admit failure..."


CEO Suicide note details:


Full Affidavit here:

PGF Affidavit


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Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:09 | 2614013 Al Huxley
Al Huxley's picture

I find the whole thing a little dubious - the guy's in business for years, working according to financial industry standard practices (ie lie, cheat, steal, forge documents, etc.) and suddenly he grows a conscience?  And then leaves a note to the effect of 'look no further for evidence of wrongdoing, it was all on me, no need for further investigation'.  When they found him after his suicide attempt, how many knives did he have in his back again?

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:23 | 2614111 Almost Solvent
Almost Solvent's picture

Reminds me of that last letter from the coward piece of shit JoePa (Paterno) to the effect that protecting Sandusky has nothing to do with the football program. Do not do anything to hurt the Penn State football program. 



Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:52 | 2614247 OliverTwist
OliverTwist's picture

Exactly Al Huxley!

Actually it was an accident. He slipped on a banana and has fallen in a knife .... 12 times


Fri, 07/13/2012 - 16:24 | 2614367 slackrabbit
slackrabbit's picture

lol thats sounds like the South African poltical prisoners in the 1980's who 'escaped their locked cells and jumped off the top of the biulding'

These guys don't giver damn who they hurt.

Look at Madoff...he turned himself in only because the market went south and he had ripped off the MOB, the Yakuza, the russian mob and the triads. 

No shit, this guys was the most bally bit of scum to visit the he turned himself in to get protection! Then he laughed about it.

Like everyone else here says......this is a set up! After 20 years, you wouldn't give a s**t!

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:09 | 2614015 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

I want Limerick King to redo that as a Limerick

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:16 | 2614063 SoNH80
SoNH80's picture

This is sort of a limerick/haiku.





Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:28 | 2614130 SqueekyFromm
SqueekyFromm's picture

Hi WB7!!!

I did another Poem below before I saw your request. But here is you an Irish Poem, too.


There once was a broker from Chicago,

(The same place that yielded us "Blago.")

And as sure as the rain,

"Chaos comes again. . ."

(Which was said in Othello by Iago.)


Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter




Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:39 | 2614185 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

But hey, at least the people who invested money with his company didn't get ripped off by buying gold, right?


Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:44 | 2614208 akak
akak's picture

No, those people could not possibly have gotten ripped off, because his company never ran television ads.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 16:12 | 2614316 SqueekyFromm
SqueekyFromm's picture

Akak and 4thStooge:

Well, I would not be at all surprised if Wasendorf, Sr. lost the $200 million in precious metals trades. OH, what are you two going to say then??? I sooo hope at his trial he says, "But I just luuvvvvve the feeeel of gold. . ." And then he laughs maniacally and stuff.

Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 16:18 | 2614342 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture


Well, I would not be at all surprised if Wasendorf, Sr. lost the $200 million in precious metals trades.

Dude, your cackling anti-gold trollery has been exposed.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 17:39 | 2614601 akak
akak's picture

Shhhhhh!  Not so harshly!

You might make her jump and lose her Junior Nadler Secret Decoder Ring.

Then she would miss tonight's secret message on CNBC:

(Of course, that is the secret message EVERY night.)

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 18:10 | 2614674 SqueekyFromm
SqueekyFromm's picture


You and 4th Stooge are sooo PSYCHOLOGICALLY UNAWARE that you have missed the Freudian Message in Wasendorf's attempt. A SILVER cavalier, and of course a Cavalier is a RUBRIC automobile. I just bet something will come out about this in his trial. 

Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 18:49 | 2614748 akak
akak's picture

A SILVER cavalier, and of course a Cavalier is a RUBRIC automobile. I just bet something will come out about this in his trial.

Are you channeling AnAnonymous here?

If so, you forgot to gratuitously use the nonsensical phrase "US Citizenism".

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 19:31 | 2614828 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

SqueakerFrom said:


You and 4th Stooge are sooo PSYCHOLOGICALLY UNAWARE that you have missed the Freudian Message in Wasendorf's attempt. A SILVER cavalier, and of course a Cavalier is a RUBRIC automobile.

Squeaker, dude, you are reading sooooooooooooooooooooooo much more into this than really exists.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 19:58 | 2616528 Tsunami Wave
Tsunami Wave's picture

Squeeky Fromm, Civis Mundi.

Why on Earth do you keep coming back, Red Neck Repugnicant/Texas Gunslinger/Math Man/Libertarians for Prosperity/Maxine Fucktard?

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:10 | 2614021 mendigo
mendigo's picture

Corruption is the norm and semi- respectable like being a former porn star or gang member.
Should have been teacing at Printerton or warton.

Such a waste.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:10 | 2614023 Stuart
Stuart's picture

Should I go out of business or cheat... now one understands the dilemma for the entire country.   It's not Bernanke's dilemma its anyone who is remotely part of the government of the nation.   It's all the citizens of the country.  Does the public expect officials to cheat in order to keep the country functioning as a going concern.   Do I cheat or lose when losing means country falls down the ladder..  Now we understand why the cheating is going on.   So whatchagonna do about it.


Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:12 | 2614036 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

if everyone in baseball just used steroids, there would have been no unfair advantages

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:44 | 2614212 12ToothAssassin
12ToothAssassin's picture

While on the surface that sounds true and is an easy fix, but different people react differently to steroids, so even when everyone is juiced to the gills, its still unfair. Go figure.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:30 | 2614139 iDealMeat
iDealMeat's picture

Cut up all your credit cards. Stop buying useless crap at retail.  Use cash, and shop local.


Sat, 07/14/2012 - 15:31 | 2616224 prole
prole's picture

"Retail?" hmm ..... I've heard this word before what does it mean?

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:38 | 2614174 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture




Fri, 07/13/2012 - 16:20 | 2614350 slackrabbit
slackrabbit's picture

If we don't cheat, then who?

(see now it sounds noble...put that on OBummers autoque)

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:10 | 2614025 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

hey it was a hell of 20 years ......but now the devil wants his due

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:11 | 2614026 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

What precsely is this guys reltionship with Hank Paulsen?

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:14 | 2614055 falak pema
falak pema's picture

they were both skull without bones.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 16:23 | 2614311 Careless Whisper
Careless Whisper's picture

@ banzai7

Well, at a minimum, they both served at the same time on the Board of Directors of the Peregrine Fund, because they care about "vulture conservation" (their words, not mine). It's just a coincidence that they want to protect birds in Kenya where there are rare earth mineral deposits. Just a coincidence.




Fri, 07/13/2012 - 21:35 | 2614988 Colonel
Colonel's picture

Banksters are into vulture conservation, go figure.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 19:37 | 2614838 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

WB7 asked:

What precsely is this guys reltionship with Hank Paulsen?

They sucked each other's jaggons.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:12 | 2614038 Harriet Wanger
Harriet Wanger's picture

It's such a relief that he had no confederates and US Bank wasn't involved.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:13 | 2614046 Dumpster Fire
Dumpster Fire's picture

tried to asphyxiate himself by funneling tailpipe exhaust into his silver Chevrolet Cavalier,



Damn that is kinda sad.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:30 | 2614136 Dr.Vannostrand
Dr.Vannostrand's picture

+1 Cannot upvote you because of the italics. You'd think if your going to skim, at least roll with an SL500 or something. But that would arouse suspicion ; not the fact that nobody else in PFG had access to any financial documents.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:33 | 2614157 RobD
RobD's picture

The guy vaporizes millions of dollars and all he has for his suicide ride is a Chevy Cavalier? WTF? Who in there right mind would even have a Chevy Cav? Do they even make those anymore?

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 16:12 | 2614318 Jena
Jena's picture

That right there must have been the manifestation of his guilty conscience.  But if he'd really been feeling bad, he'd have found an old Pinto or Pacer just for the humiliation and subjugation.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 22:56 | 2615131 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Hah! I remember the Pacer. Everyone referred to it as a fishbowl on wheels.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 19:27 | 2614813 Prometheus418
Prometheus418's picture

That's what I drive, but all I do is make sure that foreign nukes don't give you special folks a sunburn.  Can't do much about the domestic ones, though.

(In case you can't read between the lines, that means "Fuck you, you elitist POS.")

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 20:18 | 2614898 Prometheus418
Prometheus418's picture

Fair enough, that was a junk comment.  It is fight club after all, though- and I get my turn to piss people off, too.

All the same, there are at least a half dozen Cavaliers between my house and the grocery store three blocks away.  For a website that constantly promotes the avoidance of credit money, I'm amazed that a car that is reasonably reliable and can be purchased with cash would be looked upon with scorn.  For those who are actually doing what the prepper edict preaches, a Cavalier isn't a horrible choice.  They aren't anyone's idea of sexy, but the crapboxes will run a couple hundred thousand miles after they start belching smoke and transform into "fill the oil, check the gas" vehicles.

Next time, I'll have to try harder and lease an Escalade with low monthly payments, rather than putting (fiat) down on a counter and actually owning a POS outright.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:14 | 2614049 oleander garch
oleander garch's picture

There you go.  He "felt guilt."

Jon Corzine and Hank Paulsen and all the others feel no guilt.  That is why they are not indicted, arrested or imprisoned.

This is what we call a thought crime.  Cannot have it in our timocracy.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:14 | 2614050 paint it red ca...
paint it red call it hell's picture

that's bullshit, who's he protecting by falling on his sword.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:35 | 2614165 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Corzine....and the status quo.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:14 | 2614054 wretch
wretch's picture

These sorts of confessions only appear in two cases: when setting up patsies and when ending Scooby Doo episodes.  Suicidal CEOs have no motivation to carefully and thoroughly document their crimes to make things easier for investigators.  This is absurdly obvious.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 20:08 | 2614888 geekgrrl
geekgrrl's picture

Rut roh, "suicide attempt" not passing ZH smell test.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:15 | 2614061 surf0766
surf0766's picture

it makes you wonder if anything producted is not a lie.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:16 | 2614066 SqueekyFromm
SqueekyFromm's picture

He could have at least done it in a poem:


An Ode to Self-Liquidation

In Honor of Wasendorf, Sr.

by Squeeky Fromm


For PFG I was the C-E-O

I started stealing twenty years ago.

It was a crime, and I'm bad I know,

Can't blame it on the Whores and Blow.

So I tried to drown my shame with grace,

With a coup de gras shot to my face.

But crap, I'm just a stupid joker.

I forgot to fill up the Super Soaker.


Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter


Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:26 | 2614122 fuu
fuu's picture

<golf clap>

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:19 | 2614082 BankRiot
BankRiot's picture

Who's handwriting was the note it????

Are we sure it was a suicide????

These crooks barely ever commit suicide, they are too cowardly.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:26 | 2614121 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

Linda Green

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:19 | 2614084 The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

Jr. Is in on it too...
This is a bad b-movie plot.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:19 | 2614086 TahoeBilly2012
TahoeBilly2012's picture

Looks like he "Madoff" with most of the money...

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:19 | 2614091 aerojet
aerojet's picture

So tip of the iceberg.  Every bank in the US has been and remains insolvent.  No matter what these bucket shop idiots did or didn't do, underneath their fraud is another, bigger level of fraud, and underlying that fraud, is the Fed, the biggest of the mammoth frauds!

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:20 | 2614093 j0nx
j0nx's picture

People who really want to kill themselves are always successful. This guy is a pussy who didn't really want to die but also didn't really want to face the music. Should have donated more to congress and the president.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:39 | 2614180 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

That was the lesson learnt by the banks after the S+L frauds.

Those guys did not share their illegal pillage BEFORE getting caught.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:21 | 2614102 jcamargo
jcamargo's picture

I bet if he would be a politician or central banker he would act the same way, but now he would be giving lectures and launching a book with his memories.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:23 | 2614105 MeBizarro
MeBizarro's picture

He was the sole party in this fraud?  Find that highly unlikely.  Just strikes me as his attempt to not have to face consequences for what he did (in prison) and as a possible means to cover up for other parties involved including friends/close acquaintenances. 

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 16:06 | 2614299 Mesquite
Mesquite's picture

Ever notice how quietly/docile Madoff went off to jail...?

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:23 | 2614107 Unprepared
Unprepared's picture

In this bizzaro world, Mr. Wasendorf appears to me has more honor than Corzine asshole. At least he still had shreds of guilt/pride to attempt suicide.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 16:33 | 2614398 El
El's picture

No. He was a coward who didn't want to face the consequences of his actions. There is nothing honorable about what he did...either before, or after he committed fraud.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:24 | 2614110 bob_dabolina
bob_dabolina's picture

Bush's fault

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:24 | 2614112 MedicalQuack
MedicalQuack's picture

Amazing, using PhotoShop, Excel and scanners...low end technology for high end gain and they go on forever it seems.  I gave this link yesterday and apologize if I am repating myself but the TED video is so well worth watching as compare this to how criminals are using technology and it will shiver the timbers. It makes you think that is a novice with technology can do this and get away with it for so long, what in the world are we doing to do when the criminals start using 3D printing for guns as an example and as the video states, they have their own wirelsss networks going. 

The video says if you control the code, you control the world and this guy didn't even have that and still just was able to cruise on by and make millions.  Thanks for posting the letter!

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:24 | 2614113 MedicalQuack
MedicalQuack's picture

Amazing, using PhotoShop, Excel and scanners...low end technology for high end gain and they go on forever it seems.  I gave this link yesterday and apologize if I am repating myself but the TED video is so well worth watching as compare this to how criminals are using technology and it will shiver the timbers. It makes you think that is a novice with technology can do this and get away with it for so long, what in the world are we doing to do when the criminals start using 3D printing for guns as an example and as the video states, they have their own wirelsss networks going. 

The video says if you control the code, you control the world and this guy didn't even have that and still just was able to cruise on by and make millions.  Thanks for posting the letter!

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:24 | 2614116 FishHockers
FishHockers's picture

If he needed help he should have reached out, I'm sure someone (a real man ) would have put the gun in his mouth and pulled the trigger, what's the down side to offing a Scumbag. It ends the breed.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:25 | 2614117 ZippyBananaPants
ZippyBananaPants's picture

Yea I believe this crap just like I believe that JPM is up $2.00 today?  What?

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:26 | 2614126 doc_in_the_house
doc_in_the_house's picture

my ego is too big as well....

that's why i'm bragging that i covered my spx futures short positions from 1370-1360 YESTERDAY @ 1326-1328....they are now @ 1357 = feels good !!!

was waiting for 1355 to re-short...well now waiting for 1365 next week to re-short....don't care if minor drop in between....maybe late next week @ 1365 = short...and hold til 1100ish b4 QE3. shoulda gone long as soon as i covered...that's ok....will go long at 1100ish AFTER i have taken short profits from spx the meantime = yawn !!



Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:26 | 2614127 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

There are no adults, anywhere, in positions of authority. None.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 19:16 | 2614796 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

MsCreant said:

There are no adults, anywhere, in positions of authority. None.

Amen to that!

You're not exaggerating in the least. While I'll concede that it is theoretically possible for an adult to exist in a position of authority at an arbitrary location somewhere, I have yet to see any evidence to confirm this.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:29 | 2614135 Yellowhoard
Yellowhoard's picture

This should all be settled by a Texas cage death match.

Chainsaws at sunset.

Corzine Vs Wasendorf BEEEE THERE.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:38 | 2614182 Dr.Vannostrand
Dr.Vannostrand's picture

2 Jackasses enter, 1 Jackass leaves!

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:42 | 2614184 Dr.Vannostrand
Dr.Vannostrand's picture

Dupe, cuz the Jackass is me!

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:31 | 2614145 wretch
wretch's picture

"I was able to conceal my crime... No one else in the company ever saw [my crimes]... I was able to hide my fraud from others at PFG... I was the sole shareholder... I was also the only person with online access... "

The authors of this suicide note really want you to know that they're innocent.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:32 | 2614149 Lost Wages
Lost Wages's picture

If you want a career in this business, all you need is a degree in graphic design and an advanced knowledge of Photoshop.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 16:19 | 2614340 slackrabbit
slackrabbit's picture

And a complete lack of integrity &  honesty.

Unfortunately our champion Banzai had these in abundance!!! 


Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:32 | 2614153 hangemhigh77
hangemhigh77's picture

Put this maggot out of his misery

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:35 | 2614164 woolybear1
woolybear1's picture

I'll bet the suicide note was a forgery.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:37 | 2614172 Miss Expectations
Miss Expectations's picture

Can we get Corzine on mail fraud, too?

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:37 | 2614173 Darkness
Darkness's picture

Weirdest Suicide Note of the day goes to Mr. Wasendorf

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:45 | 2614215 Joey Big Balls
Joey Big Balls's picture

"I have commited fraud. For this I feel constant and intense guilt." 




I guess I should've gotten a psychology degree in college. Would've opened up a clinic outside Wall street to help all these guilt ridden, depressed CEO's. Unbelievable. 

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 16:17 | 2614338 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

Fraud for 20 years, guilt for 20 days.

God is not convinced.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 16:19 | 2614344 Jena
Jena's picture

Boo fuckin' hoo:  "Now, Corzine can barely enjoy a cup of coffee in the very getaway that used to recharge his batteries."

At one time, polite society would have shunned him.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 20:08 | 2614886 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Jena said:

Boo fuckin' hoo:  "Now, Corzine can barely enjoy a cup of coffee in the very getaway that used to recharge his batteries."

Such a drastic fate to suffer. I mean, things are tough for a lot of people, but that is the absolute abyss of abject misery.

At one time, polite society would have shunned him.

At another time slightly before that, polite society would have hanged him.

Perhaps the reason he's "not getting the invitations that he would have gotten before" is because fellow Hamptonites don't want to be around him in case one of his victims decides that their last worthwhile task in life is to see if Corzine bleeds red.

Interesting how the article specifically mentions by name several of the places that he frequents. I wonder if anyone at the New York Post took a big hit when MF Global went tits up.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 22:36 | 2615088 Jena
Jena's picture

TheFourthStooge-ing said:

Interesting how the article specifically mentions by name several of the places that he frequents. I wonder if anyone at the New York Post took a big hit when MF Global went tits up.


I did notice that the article specified those particular places by name.  At the time the thought crossed my mind that either the writer was 1) getting a plug in for a publicist; 2) getting back at them for a perceived slight; or 3) serving a warning to other businesses in the Hamptons to not be friendly to Corzine or else they too would get unwanted publicity.

Your point about Corzine's notoriety not translating to social desirability out of fear of their own safety may be the best one.  Basic needs and all that.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 17:59 | 2614644 IrritableBowels
IrritableBowels's picture

well i guess we know where to find him.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 15:52 | 2614221 israhole
israhole's picture

This only went on for 20 years? Good thing he wasn't  a Goy, they go to jail when they bounce a check for groceries.

I esepcially like the admission his ego is too big, as if his overbearance was a result of actually accomplishing something.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 16:04 | 2614295 FuzzyDunlop21
FuzzyDunlop21's picture

It said he used photoshop and scanners. Fuckin amateur hour, thats what high school kids do when they get a D on their report card. And no one caught this? Fuck me!

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 16:11 | 2614314 BanksterSlayer
BanksterSlayer's picture

At Goldman Sachs, a note like that would get you promoted.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 16:28 | 2614376 slackrabbit
slackrabbit's picture

Letme guess...he  wrote this letter at the Texas School Depository.


So who used photoshop on the grassy knoll...

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 16:28 | 2614379 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

the amazing part is that, to him, the twenty years of fraud wasn't cheating

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 16:30 | 2614385 El
El's picture

Well, he is going away for a while. Odd how the "constant and intense guilt" comes right when someone is about to get caught and not 20 years earlier.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 16:35 | 2614397 Maos Dog
Maos Dog's picture

I can't even wrap my mind around this bullshit...

How is this even possible?

I made a large commercial bank loan a few years ago, well, large to me but realy small in the grade scheme of things, nothing on the level of PFG. The finance officer CALLED MY BANK to verify my balances. Really, how fucking hard is this? How can someone call themselves a certified auditor and miss this bullshit rookie error? How did they pass auditing 101?

IS this conspiricy, or stupidity? Were the auditors paid? 

Can the SEC, FASB, whatever take action against the auditors?

You can't trust anyone at all to handle the most basic business tasks.


Fri, 07/13/2012 - 16:36 | 2614409 DumFarmer
DumFarmer's picture

I saw so many botched suicides as a former, currently reformed, tit suckling paramedic, I always wanted to write "suicide for dummies" Its not as easy as it seems to do it right the first time.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 16:37 | 2614416 dolph9
dolph9's picture

I won't be satisfied until I see the fuckers jumping, like those poor souls on 9/11.

Fuck 'em.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 20:26 | 2614908 geekgrrl
geekgrrl's picture

It's truly unfortunate that most skyscrapers have windows that don't open.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 16:39 | 2614421 SqueekyFromm
SqueekyFromm's picture

Maybe all of us are being too cavalier about this???

Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 16:40 | 2614425 css1971
css1971's picture

Constant and intense guilt.... For 20 years? In that case there is an excellent movie you should watch. "The Machinist". Starring Christian Bale.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 16:48 | 2614463 californiagirl
californiagirl's picture

Having been a former auditor, verifying the address of all confirmation requests is basic "auditing 101". If the PFG money has vaporized, there is another deep pocket to go after. 20 years of incompetent auditors is pretty pathetic, however, not that surprising. While there certainly are some good auditors, I can't tell you how many times I butted heads with managers and partners over lying clients and other audit issues. Too many of them seemed to have the sole priorities of keeping customers happy and completing the audit within budgeted hours. I managed to uncover fraud based on falsified addresses more than once, among numerous other schemes and embezzlement. However, I was seldom successful in getting a partner to resign from an engagement.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 16:57 | 2614504 Maos Dog
Maos Dog's picture

Thanks for the confirmation of "auditing 101" this is what I was thinking and needed some confirmation.

The real story here to me is not "another crook steals money" but a complete failure of basic auditing procedures for over 20 years.

Someone needs to call the auditors and the certifying body out on this one. 

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 17:23 | 2614577 californiagirl
californiagirl's picture

I think the general public, with the exception of most Zerohedge readers, would be shocked at how much fraud, embezzlement and errors due to incompetence occur in most companies, and even worse in the public sector, and how much of it goes undetected by incompetent auditors. In my years of auditing, I could count the number of completely clean audits on one hand, over a broad spectrum of industries including banks and investment companies, high tech companies, and even one large government. And when I left for management positions in corporate America, there was not one employer where I did not encounter fraud or embezzlement. I could write a book that makes Atlas Shrugged look like a quick read. A bit of common sense and healthy skepticism goes a long way, but only when combined with ethics, which, unfortunately, is a rapidly disappearing trait.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 21:57 | 2614546 SqueekyFromm
SqueekyFromm's picture

That is sooo true. That is why they have that statement in the engagement letter thingie about "We don't really care if these books are phony as hell as long they are prepared in accordance with GAAP or GARP or whatevah, and if we happen to stumble over some fraud by accident, maybe we'll tell somebody about it, or maybe we'll put in some really obscure footnote about it, but we want to let everybody know right up front that we ain't looking for no fraud or stuff. We just want to make sure everybody feels good that even though these financial statements are as hard as hell to read and understand, that a bunch of us experts put our name on them even though we don't take any responsibility for them if they are a great big lie."

Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 16:51 | 2614479 SuitablyIronicM...
SuitablyIronicMoniker's picture

It would take about 20 seconds of investigation to prove that the "confession" was total manure. Just explain again which version of Photoshop you were using 20 years ago? On a Mac Classic II perhaps?? And how did you reconcile the bank statements in real time?

But I am sure that he will plead guilty to something and nobody will have to look any further in to the company. Oh, those rogue traders!

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 16:57 | 2614506 caustixoid
caustixoid's picture

Clearly, due to carbon monoxide, this dude's gonna have subtle brain damage/memory impairment, so at the trial he'll just keep saying "I can't remember". 

Prosecutor: "Take us through your forgery process-- how did you manage to produce a passable forgery in just 20 minutes?"

Shithead: "I don't remember"

Prosecutor:  "I find it highly implausible that US Bank would not be suspicious of the city's largest customer having almost no funds in the account.  Did you have any contact with a director of US Bank?"

Shithead: "I don't remember".

Prosecutor: "Did you ever tell anyone what you were doing?  I mean, you say in your suicide note that you were very guilty.  Did you carry this burden without telling a soul? for 20 years?"

Shithead: "I guess so.  I don't remember".

Prosecutor: "Did you have any contact with the auditor discussing irregularities?  Did they never once question you about an irregularity?"

Shithead: "I don't remember".

It's GENIUS.  F*cker gets to keep the money, get "compassionate" parole, not perjure himself, protect his accomplices and even have people feel sorry for him.  genius.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 16:59 | 2614507 mick_richfield
mick_richfield's picture

Imagine a man who is about to attempt suicide, spending several sentences of the last note that he will write in this life carefully and deliberately exonerating the other officers and employees of his firm.

How creepy does this get?

How far down does the rabbit-hole go?


Fri, 07/13/2012 - 16:58 | 2614508 Golden monkey
Golden monkey's picture

"Wasendorf's son, Russell Wasendorf, Jr., is the chief operating officer of PFG. He was able to sign the Chapter 7 bankruptcy filing for his father, who was "incapacitated" at the time, under power of attorney."

We live in a so crazy world now Tyler, we can see pigs eating pigs. Cesium is not enough for the sharks; they ask for more.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 17:06 | 2614535 mdn
mdn's picture

20 years of this???  Sounds like a stunning success, to me.  We're lucky he was caught.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 17:12 | 2614551 ZeroAvatar
ZeroAvatar's picture

For a minute there, reading this thing, I thought I was reading 'The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich'.  Damn!  Just pull the trigger already!

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 17:13 | 2614560 ZeroAvatar
ZeroAvatar's picture

I suppose all these 'embezzled millions' were used for yachts, coke, hookers, fine dining, etc.  Will ANY of it EVER be recovered?

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 17:23 | 2614578 DarthVaderMentor
DarthVaderMentor's picture

He just didn't have the skills to be a good bank CEO. If he had, he'd either pulled a Corzine or invested in a yacht and assets overseas. 


America, the land where the sheeple think life is better than in a Banana Republic because their lack of education makes them immobile and deaf and dumb to economic realities....

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 17:39 | 2614606 JPMorgan
JPMorgan's picture

Long luxury prison retreats. 

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 17:42 | 2614611 YesWeKahn
YesWeKahn's picture

I am sorry, I have an impression that both Bernanke and Greenspan will write the same note.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 17:48 | 2614625 mrdenis
mrdenis's picture

Corzine ,couldn't even "pull the trigger" so to speak ......

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 18:57 | 2614770 mendolover
mendolover's picture

He probably knew he didn't have to.  I just keep telling myself what comes around goes around.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 17:56 | 2614639 deerhunter
deerhunter's picture

Whose finger is going to be removed from the dike to start the ball rolling?   When is enough enough?  By executive order Obama just rescinded the work for benefits of the TANF program which successfully returned 2.8 million people to work from the welfare rolls under Clinton.  Obama wants the whole population on the government teat.  It just seems to me he doesn't understand that every single dollar those sons of bitches spend came out of someone elses pocket.  Illinois just upped the tax on cigarettes by a dollar a pack.  State income tax from 3 to 5% and upped corporate tax rates as well.  Toll road rates doubled a while back.  I think the state pension plans are underfunded by 75 billion dollars and there are homes selling in my neighborhood for 70K.  I bought mine in 1998 for 168K.  In effect I have only been paying property taxes for the last 14 years.  7K a year.  Enough?  Hmmmm   I am trying to think of a new tax here for the lucky Illinois residents that they haven't thought of yet,,,, sarc

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 18:04 | 2614660 blindman
blindman's picture

human life is precious. life
it should and is very hard to kill yourself
(for example) or anything/one else.
Tom Waits - You Can Never Hold Back Spring
i can't help but believe life was made so
unspeakably beautiful for at least one good
reason. to live

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 18:11 | 2614680 imamonkey
imamonkey's picture

actually going to a white collar prison might no be the worst thing these days - It's not like he's breaking up rocks from dawn til dusk ... 3 squares, time away from the battle-axe ...

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 18:13 | 2614688 Patriot Eke
Patriot Eke's picture

You all know even hand written letters can be forged these days right?  It would look just as if you wrote it.  Computers are great, right?  Don't trust anything written whether in hand writing or printed.  I'm not even sure I'd trust a video confession.  They too can be faked.  Call me paranoid, but I just don't accept this crap immediately.  With as much involved as this, you have no idea what really could have happened.  Perhaps someone else wrote the note and put the gun to his head.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 18:56 | 2614768 mendolover
mendolover's picture

Wasn't it a hose from the exhaust?

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 18:37 | 2614731 BroCharlie
BroCharlie's picture

I call BS.  Sure hope ZH is not a Platform for Dis-info.  This guy is not Rogue.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 18:38 | 2614735 Rob Jones
Rob Jones's picture

The "how" is very interesting. But what I also wonder is where the money went. Are we to believe that he just lost it in bad investments? If someone is going to go to the trouble of embezzling $200 million, why not convert at least $20 million of it into gold, diamonds, etc. and bury it somewhere? Then after spending a year or two in a nice white-collar prison, you could dig it up and move to some nice warm overseas retirement spot. South of France, perhaps.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 19:35 | 2614834 JLee2027
JLee2027's picture

Fraud has become so easy even a Caveman can do it.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 19:46 | 2614861 SqueekyFromm
SqueekyFromm's picture

Here is a link to a fun PFG website that you might want to visit before it gets scrubbed:

Wasendorf even talks about "kiting":

"To supply our customers with superlative access to traditional and alternative product choices, in a 24–hour a day e–business, there is no following the herd. As Winston Churchill said, "Kites rise highest against the wind, not with it."

and this little bon mot:

"At PFGBEST, our consistent hallmarks remain: respectful and conscientious care of customers and their accounts; a keen sense of their evolving needs; and, the talent and resources to provide analytical, flexible and customized solutions."

Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter



Fri, 07/13/2012 - 19:57 | 2614876 robertocarlos
robertocarlos's picture

And here I was feeling sorry for the guy's family because I thought he was in a coma after putting a bullet in his head.

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 20:10 | 2614890 blindman
blindman's picture

Tom Waits - You Can Never Hold Back Spring
try it some time

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 20:19 | 2614899 yogibear
yogibear's picture

Poor guy wasn't fraudulent enough. He should have developed more connections and contributed more money to political campaigns.

Look at Jon Corzine. Many executives these days believe you must be commit fraud/criminal behavior to be successful these days. Their following their business/corruption plan.



Fri, 07/13/2012 - 20:27 | 2614909 blindman
blindman's picture

we're getting close. the truth

You can never hold back spring
You can be sure I will never
Stop believing
The blushing rose that will climb
Spring ahead or fall behind
Winter dreams the same dream
Every time
You can never hold back spring

and Even though you've lost your way
The world is dreaming, dreaming of spring

So close your eyes
Open your heart
To the one who's dreaming of you
and You can never hold back spring

Remember everything that spring
Can bring
You can never hold back spring
You can never hold back spring

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 21:23 | 2614993 blindman
blindman's picture

before i might forget ...
I'm Your Late Night Evening Prostitute - Tom Waits

Fri, 07/13/2012 - 23:05 | 2615146 Cosimo de Medici
Cosimo de Medici's picture

The instant anyone attaches "Jr." to his son's name, and "Sr." to his own, the warning signals of too much ego are there, the individual always suspect.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 01:43 | 2615277 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

So he attempted suicide by Carbon Monoxide Gas Poisoning? Using his Chevy Cavalier?


I am amazed that he was not successful. Those General Motors products, which have timing problems frequently, produce lethal levels of CO gas. A smooth running engine catalyzes the exhaust. 


So I guess his Cavalier was running up to spec and he just inhaled a bunch of Water Vapor...stupid fuck.


He should have used a Ford or a Dodge product. His chances for success would have increased dramatically.


Never aqttempt CO gas poisoning with Japanese or German cars. You'll lust get is a steam bath.


Gunshot? Two outta three are NOT successful and you'll end up suffering, being a vegetable, and letting the taxpayers supporting your sorry ass.


Suicide is a lot damned harder than it seems. There are just too many ways of botching the job. The first attempt incapacitates you so you cannot adjust for mistakes and finish the job you've botched. Then you get the assholes whom want to be a hero and rescue your sorry ass...


Yeah jump off a building and become a quadrapeligic. Better yet immolate yourself with fire...and live through it because some asshole decides to put you out.


No...You guys just don't understand how difficult the task is because you've not got the balls to try it yourselves.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 18:05 | 2616430 prole
prole's picture

Well thank God for that

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 02:17 | 2615292 Peter K
Peter K's picture

Sounds like the Obama presidency. It's always the ego......

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 03:06 | 2615309 Joe A
Joe A's picture

I don't advocate that these criminals should all go and kill themselves. They should spend the rest of their lives in a cell shared with a guy called Buba and be his bitches.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 05:23 | 2615361 theprofromdover
theprofromdover's picture


Some crimes you just want to take your hat off and salute the guy for the effort.

He worked very hard doing this, I don't know what he looks like, who he stole from, or nuthin, so apologies for offence.

The system is supposed to be robust enough to catch these guys. Its like in a prison camp, if no-one tries to escape, the guards get lazy.

You must always probe the defences, and accept the price when you are caught.


But Wassy, you cocked up the suicide, that don't make no sense.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 07:10 | 2615397 overmedicatedun...
overmedicatedundersexed's picture

the pro: the system is supposed to catch these guys..LOL best line in a long time..they are the system.

The lawyers know, it's not the laws and regulators who get these guys, they protect them.

it's the dime in the phone at the dead of night that rats them out.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 07:17 | 2615400 DonGenaro
DonGenaro's picture

Yep, the forgeries started some twenty years ago.
But the "constant and intense guilt" started 'round the time he realized he was GOING TO BE CAUGHT.
Typical wall street P.O.S.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 07:21 | 2615403 overmedicatedun...
overmedicatedundersexed's picture

ken of enron fame was seen at a starbucks in the e hamptons, for a corpse he looked taned and toney while enjoying coffee with Jon...conspiracy was on the menu.

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 17:30 | 2616390 Satan
Satan's picture

Is there anything more pathetic than a failed half assed suicide attempt?

I have even less respect for that useless fucker.

Hemingway used a shot gun cause he meant business .

Sat, 07/14/2012 - 17:53 | 2616416 mvsjcl
mvsjcl's picture

That is no suicide note.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!