Full PFG CEO Suicide Note

Tyler Durden's picture

"I have committed fraud. For this I feel constant and intense guilt...

 

The forgeries started nearly twenty years ago...

 

Should I go out of business or cheat...

 

I guess my ego was too big to admit failure..."

 

CEO Suicide note details:

 

Full Affidavit here:

PGF Affidavit

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Al Huxley's picture

I find the whole thing a little dubious - the guy's in business for years, working according to financial industry standard practices (ie lie, cheat, steal, forge documents, etc.) and suddenly he grows a conscience?  And then leaves a note to the effect of 'look no further for evidence of wrongdoing, it was all on me, no need for further investigation'.  When they found him after his suicide attempt, how many knives did he have in his back again?

Almost Solvent's picture

Reminds me of that last letter from the coward piece of shit JoePa (Paterno) to the effect that protecting Sandusky has nothing to do with the football program. Do not do anything to hurt the Penn State football program. 

 

 

OliverTwist's picture

Exactly Al Huxley!

Actually it was an accident. He slipped on a banana and has fallen in a knife .... 12 times

 

slackrabbit's picture

lol thats sounds like the South African poltical prisoners in the 1980's who 'escaped their locked cells and jumped off the top of the biulding'

These guys don't giver damn who they hurt.

Look at Madoff...he turned himself in only because the market went south and he had ripped off the MOB, the Yakuza, the russian mob and the triads. 

No shit, this guys was the most bally bit of scum to visit the planet.....so he turned himself in to get protection! Then he laughed about it.

Like everyone else here says......this is a set up! After 20 years, you wouldn't give a s**t!

williambanzai7's picture

I want Limerick King to redo that as a Limerick

SoNH80's picture

This is sort of a limerick/haiku.

FRAUD I HAVE COMMITTED

THE BUSINESS I HAD HAS SHITTED

I GUESS I'LL BE BILLETED

IN LEAVENWORTH.

SqueekyFromm's picture

Hi WB7!!!

I did another Poem below before I saw your request. But here is you an Irish Poem, too.

 

There once was a broker from Chicago,

(The same place that yielded us "Blago.")

And as sure as the rain,

"Chaos comes again. . ."

(Which was said in Othello by Iago.)

 

Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

 

 

 

TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

But hey, at least the people who invested money with his company didn't get ripped off by buying gold, right?

Lulz!

akak's picture

No, those people could not possibly have gotten ripped off, because his company never ran television ads.

SqueekyFromm's picture

Akak and 4thStooge:

Well, I would not be at all surprised if Wasendorf, Sr. lost the $200 million in precious metals trades. OH, what are you two going to say then??? I sooo hope at his trial he says, "But I just luuvvvvve the feeeel of gold. . ." And then he laughs maniacally and stuff.

Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

.

Well, I would not be at all surprised if Wasendorf, Sr. lost the $200 million in precious metals trades.

Dude, your cackling anti-gold trollery has been exposed.

akak's picture

Shhhhhh!  Not so harshly!

You might make her jump and lose her Junior Nadler Secret Decoder Ring.

Then she would miss tonight's secret message on CNBC:
"S-E-L-L-G-O-L-D".

(Of course, that is the secret message EVERY night.)

SqueekyFromm's picture

Akak:

You and 4th Stooge are sooo PSYCHOLOGICALLY UNAWARE that you have missed the Freudian Message in Wasendorf's attempt. A SILVER cavalier, and of course a Cavalier is a RUBRIC automobile. I just bet something will come out about this in his trial. 

Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

akak's picture

A SILVER cavalier, and of course a Cavalier is a RUBRIC automobile. I just bet something will come out about this in his trial.

Are you channeling AnAnonymous here?

If so, you forgot to gratuitously use the nonsensical phrase "US Citizenism".

TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

SqueakerFrom said:

Akak:

You and 4th Stooge are sooo PSYCHOLOGICALLY UNAWARE that you have missed the Freudian Message in Wasendorf's attempt. A SILVER cavalier, and of course a Cavalier is a RUBRIC automobile.

Squeaker, dude, you are reading sooooooooooooooooooooooo much more into this than really exists.

http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/267366/pooping-out-her-boobs

Tsunami Wave's picture

Squeeky Fromm, Civis Mundi.

Why on Earth do you keep coming back, Red Neck Repugnicant/Texas Gunslinger/Math Man/Libertarians for Prosperity/Maxine Fucktard?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5AcJCzb_beQ

mendigo's picture

Dumbass.
Corruption is the norm and semi- respectable like being a former porn star or gang member.
Should have been teacing at Printerton or warton.

Such a waste.

Stuart's picture

Should I go out of business or cheat... now one understands the dilemma for the entire country.   It's not Bernanke's dilemma its anyone who is remotely part of the government of the nation.   It's all the citizens of the country.  Does the public expect officials to cheat in order to keep the country functioning as a going concern.   Do I cheat or lose when losing means country falls down the ladder..  Now we understand why the cheating is going on.   So whatchagonna do about it.

 

Seasmoke's picture

if everyone in baseball just used steroids, there would have been no unfair advantages

12ToothAssassin's picture

While on the surface that sounds true and is an easy fix, but different people react differently to steroids, so even when everyone is juiced to the gills, its still unfair. Go figure.

iDealMeat's picture

Cut up all your credit cards. Stop buying useless crap at retail.  Use cash, and shop local.

 

prole's picture

"Retail?" hmm ..... I've heard this word before what does it mean?

slackrabbit's picture

If we don't cheat, then who?

(see now it sounds noble...put that on OBummers autoque)

Seasmoke's picture

hey it was a hell of 20 years ......but now the devil wants his due

williambanzai7's picture

What precsely is this guys reltionship with Hank Paulsen?

falak pema's picture

they were both skull without bones.

Careless Whisper's picture

@ banzai7

Well, at a minimum, they both served at the same time on the Board of Directors of the Peregrine Fund, because they care about "vulture conservation" (their words, not mine). It's just a coincidence that they want to protect birds in Kenya where there are rare earth mineral deposits. Just a coincidence.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YokX25fUms

 

 

 

Colonel's picture

Banksters are into vulture conservation, go figure.

TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

WB7 asked:

What precsely is this guys reltionship with Hank Paulsen?

They sucked each other's jaggons.

http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/183615/suck-my-jaggon

Harriet Wanger's picture

It's such a relief that he had no confederates and US Bank wasn't involved.

Dumpster Fire's picture

tried to asphyxiate himself by funneling tailpipe exhaust into his silver Chevrolet Cavalier,

 

 

Damn that is kinda sad.

Dr.Vannostrand's picture

+1 Cannot upvote you because of the italics. You'd think if your going to skim, at least roll with an SL500 or something. But that would arouse suspicion ; not the fact that nobody else in PFG had access to any financial documents.

RobD's picture

The guy vaporizes millions of dollars and all he has for his suicide ride is a Chevy Cavalier? WTF? Who in there right mind would even have a Chevy Cav? Do they even make those anymore?

Jena's picture

That right there must have been the manifestation of his guilty conscience.  But if he'd really been feeling bad, he'd have found an old Pinto or Pacer just for the humiliation and subjugation.

TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Hah! I remember the Pacer. Everyone referred to it as a fishbowl on wheels.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0l6YldYBpY

Prometheus418's picture

That's what I drive, but all I do is make sure that foreign nukes don't give you special folks a sunburn.  Can't do much about the domestic ones, though.

(In case you can't read between the lines, that means "Fuck you, you elitist POS.")

Prometheus418's picture

Fair enough, that was a junk comment.  It is fight club after all, though- and I get my turn to piss people off, too.

All the same, there are at least a half dozen Cavaliers between my house and the grocery store three blocks away.  For a website that constantly promotes the avoidance of credit money, I'm amazed that a car that is reasonably reliable and can be purchased with cash would be looked upon with scorn.  For those who are actually doing what the prepper edict preaches, a Cavalier isn't a horrible choice.  They aren't anyone's idea of sexy, but the crapboxes will run a couple hundred thousand miles after they start belching smoke and transform into "fill the oil, check the gas" vehicles.

Next time, I'll have to try harder and lease an Escalade with low monthly payments, rather than putting (fiat) down on a counter and actually owning a POS outright.

oleander garch's picture

There you go.  He "felt guilt."

Jon Corzine and Hank Paulsen and all the others feel no guilt.  That is why they are not indicted, arrested or imprisoned.

This is what we call a thought crime.  Cannot have it in our timocracy.

paint it red call it hell's picture

that's bullshit, who's he protecting by falling on his sword.

wretch's picture

These sorts of confessions only appear in two cases: when setting up patsies and when ending Scooby Doo episodes.  Suicidal CEOs have no motivation to carefully and thoroughly document their crimes to make things easier for investigators.  This is absurdly obvious.

geekgrrl's picture

Rut roh, "suicide attempt" not passing ZH smell test.

surf0766's picture

it makes you wonder if anything producted is not a lie.

SqueekyFromm's picture

He could have at least done it in a poem:

 

An Ode to Self-Liquidation

In Honor of Wasendorf, Sr.

by Squeeky Fromm

 

For PFG I was the C-E-O

I started stealing twenty years ago.

It was a crime, and I'm bad I know,

Can't blame it on the Whores and Blow.

So I tried to drown my shame with grace,

With a coup de gras shot to my face.

But crap, I'm just a stupid joker.

I forgot to fill up the Super Soaker.

 

Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

 

BankRiot's picture

Who's handwriting was the note it????

Are we sure it was a suicide????

These crooks barely ever commit suicide, they are too cowardly.

The Gooch's picture

Jr. Is in on it too...
This is a bad b-movie plot.

TahoeBilly2012's picture

Looks like he "Madoff" with most of the money...