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Full Remarks By Unelected European Council President Herman Von Rompuy

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Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:21 | 1813522 Mugatu
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Market is supposedly rising due to another "China will buy EFSF Bonds" rumor.


NEW YORK (MarketWatch) -- U.S. stocks struck solid gains Wednesday on reports tied to European efforts to resolve its debt trouble. "The market is rallying on the story that China will buy bonds issued by the EFSF (European Financial Stability Facility)," Peter Boockvar, equity strategist at Miller Tabak, said in emailed comments, citing the Irish Times newspaper. 


So does that mean Europe will bail out China to return the favor?

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:31 | 1813582 LongSoupLine
LongSoupLine's picture

Wash, Rinse, Repeat Breakdown:

Rumor: China will prop all
Result: Markets ramp 2%

Later: China refutes "prop" rumor
Result: Markets fall 1%

End result: Markets up 1% on pure MSM shilltardology.

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:32 | 1813586 Troll Magnet
Troll Magnet's picture

yawn.  slow news day, huh?

is the whole thing burning in flames?  no?  okay i'm going back to bed then.

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:34 | 1813600 Ag1761
Ag1761's picture

Unbelievable, I thought the market rallied on this rumour some weeks back.

Are we now in a groundhog situation, whats the next rumour that will start a rally we've already seen.

It's rinse, repeat the rumours now.

Default now and get this shit over with or just bloody well print print print. Either way I'm ready.

What bugs me is the sheer expense of these summits and for what....

Keep on Stakin because at this rate I can see them kicking this for many years to come and by then there should be very little physical around for when SHTF.

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:46 | 1813651 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Off topic, but only because it comes remotely close to the idiocy of anyone who actually believes the EU is one step closer to resolving their Eurodebtapocalypse crisis rooted in mathematical proof than they were yesterday (the solution will come, and it will come in a massive wave of blinding red numbers all over the board, but I digress):

The complete lunacy of the day OP/ED, courtesy of the New York Times:

Op-Ed | JAMES LIVINGSTON It’s Consumer Spending, Stupid

Consumer debt and government spending are what really drive economic growth, not private investment.



AS an economic historian who has been studying American capitalism for 35 years, I’m going to let you in on the best-kept secret of the last century: private investment — that is, using business profits to increase productivity and output — doesn’t actually drive economic growth. Consumer debt and government spending do. Private investment isn’t even necessary to promote growth.

...We don’t need the traders and the C.E.O.’s and the analysts — the 1 percent — to collect and manage our savings. Instead, we consumers need to save less and spend more in the name of a better future. We don’t need to silence the ant, but we’d better start listening to the grasshopper.

*James Livingston, a professor of history at Rutgers, is the author of “Against Thrift: Why Consumer Culture Is Good for the Economy, the Environment and Your Soul.”


It's odd...you know. Go into more debt to resolve your debt crisis, and not a mention of the necessity of employment or wage growth to fuel even net-debt consumer spending.

He thinks an increasing number of jobless people, coupled with those still working but making less in real wages (or even nominal wages), can fuel an economic rebound, and save debt-drowned governments, as well....

Hmmmm. Brilliant!

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 16:20 | 1814096 lunaticfringe
lunaticfringe's picture

You cannot make this shit up. Spend our way out of debt. Another day, another genius. Will there ever be a shortage of them?

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 19:04 | 1814613 Dugald
Dugald's picture

Just give the unemployed a credit card.....

There, fixed!!

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:20 | 1813528 NEOSERF
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Tyler - what do you think the chances are that Germany is privately planning to back out of the Euro before Greece goes. With most of the electorate for this, would the Germans get out while the getting is good which is why this endless can kicking might actually be strategic?

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 16:24 | 1814112 lunaticfringe
lunaticfringe's picture

I think the chances are better than avg. Why would the Germans want to get sucked into a debt vortex of never ending and understated liabilities? When they exit- the whole fucking mess fails. You can bet every central banker on the planet is busy trying to buy the German vote.

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 20:26 | 1814980 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

it's not about German voters ...it's about German banks if they stay or go

whatever best suits the bankers the village idiots (politicians) in their pockets will do. That's why Germany has gone down the toilet twice before (see most other countries on Earth too) and will do so again

Bankers and politicians ...the worst partnership in the world  

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:20 | 1813529 redpill
redpill's picture

June 30 2012?  LOL


Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:25 | 1813554 Unprepared
Unprepared's picture

What qualifies as "highest quality capital" nowadays?

99.99% pure Vatican bonds?

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:37 | 1813616 Imminent Crucible
Imminent Crucible's picture

I think it means "Fed credit".

"'Agreement has been reached that Congress should be required, by November 6, 2011 to consist of the highest quality individuals available, with not greater than 9% convicted felons."

EU is over, but the markets are still pretending. Dow up 153% at this point.

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 16:25 | 1814118 lunaticfringe
lunaticfringe's picture

A minimum security wing of any state prison is more reliable and trustworthy than Congress.

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:28 | 1813569 kito
kito's picture

i used to laugh also, but these bastards are going to get their way as long as the markets are kept content. and as of now, it looks that way. i just shake my head......

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:28 | 1813571 caerus
caerus's picture

rompuy's pres of the council until may 31, 2012...pass the buck bitchez!

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:29 | 1813576 tarsubil
tarsubil's picture

Exactly what my reaction was. They might as well say June 30th 2011 or June 30th 3012. Talk about jumping the shark.

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:21 | 1813531 Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

Now that's a sign of a madman...losing his control


Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:21 | 1813533 legal eagle
legal eagle's picture

Proportionality!   Yes, hello Duetche Mark.

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:22 | 1813538 orangedrinkandchips
orangedrinkandchips's picture

Sweet..let's all lend to eachother in a domino effect manner...THEN all join hands and sing cum by ya my lord!!


wait....next headline will read that the sun might come up tomorrow.....

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:22 | 1813539 Let them eat iPads
Let them eat iPads's picture

9% of the highest quality capital?

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:31 | 1813584 Mark123
Mark123's picture

Funniest thing I ever heard coming from these con artists. I heard the same thing from guys selling Rolex watches int he Gran Bazaar in Istanbul!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:22 | 1813540 Cone of Uncertainty
Cone of Uncertainty's picture

Let the selling commence.


Hahahaha, fucking douches, hahahahah!!!!

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:32 | 1813587 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Yea, we're all bankrupt right now, and today was our LAST DITCH final hour drop-dead date for a total resolution...but fuck it, there is no solution at all so we're closing it out for this year, will resume talking again sometime next year so PARTY ON!

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:22 | 1813541 machineh
machineh's picture

'With these measures, we restore confidence that it's always the same sh*t, different day.'

See yas ...

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:22 | 1813543 Sequitur
Sequitur's picture

Are you fucking kidding me. The "highest quality" capital? Weeks of meetings, and this is what they come up with?

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:26 | 1813560 sabra1
sabra1's picture

they're refering to pension plans, 401K's, stuff like that, there!

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:23 | 1813544 Quintus
Quintus's picture

That's it?  A big, fat zero after 6 days and nights of 'Work?

They're fucked.  Totally fucked.  

The most substantial threat faced by their beloved currency union since it's inception and following the very best, no hold barred, no expense spared efforts the Eurogroup could possibly apply to deal with it, they come up with nothing at all.


Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:25 | 1813556 pods
pods's picture

Should have had Warburg there.  Say what you want, but he engineered the takeover of the US in that amount of time.


Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:26 | 1813562 machineh
machineh's picture


'Parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus.'

The mountains labored, and brought forth a ridiculous mouse.


Wed, 10/26/2011 - 15:11 | 1813833 Elliott Eldrich
Elliott Eldrich's picture

Now now... it wasn't "nothing at all." From what I can tell, they have agreed in principle to continue looking into the possibility of future agreements. 

In other words, yet another colossal nothingburger of an announcement from Euroland. Lots of pretty phrases and important sounding words, with all of the substance of a beer fart. 

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:24 | 1813549 Piranha
Piranha's picture

but most important....they have a plan!

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:24 | 1813550 Dick Darlington
Dick Darlington's picture

With these measures, we restore confidence


Aaaand scene!

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:25 | 1813551 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture



"I used to be clueless about math, but I turned that around 360 degrees."

-Unelected European Council President Herman Von Rompuy


The answer to the EuroDebtapocalypse is clear, will be quite painful & is inevitably unavoidable. The comedy resides in the delay, obfuscation and lying.

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:24 | 1813552 totem
totem's picture

Wait.  They have a "von Rompuy" talking about "state of preparations?"

If the speech is titled "Rompuy's Preparation H", I think we've got a winner!

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:25 | 1813555 Let them eat iPads
Let them eat iPads's picture

H is for Hopium.

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:38 | 1813623 Piranhanoia
Piranhanoia's picture

Hermanroid von Rumpus

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:25 | 1813558 Smartie37
Smartie37's picture

The Euro is SAVED ! (for kindling)

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:27 | 1813568 pods
pods's picture

So after almost a week they have agreed that banks should raise their capital reserves to somewhere around 9% by around 2012.

Is it just me or do y'all see some wiggle room in there?


Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:29 | 1813575 Iriestx
Iriestx's picture

Weren't sub-prime mortgages that were packaged into AAA rated debt, pre-2008, considered the highest quality capital?  Maybe they can be again!

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:33 | 1813588 tarsubil
tarsubil's picture

There's an idea. Why not? 

Hey, anyone know where to get some good distillery and brewing equipment? After the collapse, I'd like to be able to still get drunk.

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:45 | 1813678 JohnG
JohnG's picture

Here ya go:


Northern Brewer has pretty good prices on a wide selection of beer brewing stuff.

Careful with that still, make sure you take it apart after, ....using...., still are illegal, parts are not :)

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:30 | 1813577 knukles
knukles's picture

Maybe some Nitrous Oxide :)

It's official!
The Guiness Book of World Records for the Longest Can Kick of Significance in Human History.

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:30 | 1813578 topcallingtroll
topcallingtroll's picture

QE and bailout fatigue setting in.

Cant somebody start a new war or at least some more legislative fistfights?

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:31 | 1813581 Tao 4 the Show
Tao 4 the Show's picture

The image of an old guy with pomp and authority morphs into a teenage girl chewing gum while she says, "Oh there's a problem with my Visa card? , that's okay, I'll call and get the limit raised on Daddy's Mastercard."

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:31 | 1813583 pcrs
pcrs's picture

... or else ??? 

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:33 | 1813591 Josh Randall
Josh Randall's picture

Von Rompuy: "Wait - I didn't get a HARUMPH outta that guy.."

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:33 | 1813593 Piranhanoia
Piranhanoia's picture

"Agreement has been reached that banks should be required,  by 30 June 2012, to have 9 % of the highest quality capital."   

I can hardly wait for the new grading scale for manure.  Agreement has been reached that requires we say that agreement has been reached.

These idiots are Vogons.

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:33 | 1813595 Honey Badger
Honey Badger's picture

Article Translation:  Banks should first see if they can find some dumb fucking private investors to give them money.  If that is not enough, then governments will give it to them.  And if that is still not enough, then the EFSF will give it to them. 

Good luck with that!

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 15:30 | 1813921 earleflorida
earleflorida's picture

it works for the 'fed', and for that matter all cb's

you don't need to print something out of then air when the sizzle sells it for ya through an empty stomach

running on fumes has carried many unto nirvana,... so what's different this time  

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