Zero Hedge | On a long enough timeline the survival rate for everyone drops to zero

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I've got a stomachful of Xanax. I took what was left of a bottle. It might have been too much.

Submitted by Tyler Durden on 01/12/2009 15:22 -0400

Lazard

You can't make this shit up. All you Hollywood agents scouring under the skirts of Daily Grill waitresses for your next script look no further (I will merely accept a firm virtual handshake and advance rights for my upcoming book), and all you employed sales people, here is a brilliant idea for how to bring your career to new heights...

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821 reads

Just as All The Media Choppers Vacate Midtown...

Submitted by Tyler Durden on 01/12/2009 23:54 -0400

BN 17:55 *U.S. GOVERNMENT SAYS IT WILL APPEAL MADOFF BAIL RULING

Time to refuel the Embraer

640 reads

Bulumics Can Not Save Fake Sugar from Chapter 11

Submitted by Tyler Durden on 01/09/2009 23:06 -0400

recovery

If only sugar free meant debt free... In sweet vindication for fat people everywhere, Merisant today filed for bankruptcy. The maker of Equal and Canderel fake sugar sought Chapter 11 protection. The Pegasus Capital portfolio company (hm...

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1648 reads

I've got a stomachful of Xanax. I took what was left of a bottle. It might have been too much.

Submitted by Tyler Durden on 01/12/2009 15:22 -0400

Lazard

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955 reads

Nortel Bondholders Biting Their Nails

Submitted by Tyler Durden on 01/13/2009 01:09 -0400

As we reported on January 9, the likelihood of a Nortel bankrtupcy filing this coming Wednesday (coupon payment date) is high to quite high. Recent rumors from the underground community had suggested that Huawei was licking its chops at NT's metropolitan ethernet business and would pay up to $1 billion. However, based on reports from forbes and debtwire from earlier today, the deal is dead in the water. Ooops.

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1009 reads

...But Can Lose Even More Weight By Walking There

Submitted by Tyler Durden on 01/09/2009 23:38 -0400

Is Business Week merely slapping the faces of all those investors who in recent weeks bought a slew of follow-on stock issued by airline companies (probably the only companies raising capital in the past few months as $35 barrel/oi

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1891 reads

Show me the mo' money

Submitted by Tyler Durden on 01/12/2009 17:27 -0400

TARP

BN 11:25 *OBAMA ASKS BUSH TO NOTIFY CONGRESS OF INTENT TO SEEK TARP FUNDS

speaks for itself

744 reads

Mad-Cave Blueprints Procured

Submitted by Tyler Durden on 01/13/2009 02:16 -0400

Well, it isn't apartment 14A/B in 740 Park, but Bernie's $7 million Guantanamo will make most studio and one bedroom NY dwellers green with unponziated envy.

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672 reads

Citi Lives the Telecom Dream as Nortel is About to Wake

Submitted by Tyler Durden on 01/10/2009 01:21 -0400

It is good to see that even as the good men leaving the yellow van carrying a straight jacket (specifically outfitted with a bro/manzier for obvious purposes) are climbing up the arduous 59 stor

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1873 reads

Dead Men Walking in South Beach

Submitted by Tyler Durden on 01/12/2009 17:54 -0400

In what is the greatest annual boondoggle in the hedge fund community, the JP Morgan South Beach Conference, this year held February 2-4 in the Loews Hotel, one should be able to spot some very good leading trends of the credit markets for this year.

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1061 reads

Mad-Cave Blueprints Procured

Submitted by Tyler Durden on 01/13/2009 02:16 -0400

Well, it isn't apartment 14A/B in 740 Park, but Bernie's $7 million Guantanamo will make most studio and one bedroom NY dwellers green with unponziated envy.

Read more
820 reads

Friday Night Rumor: MGM Selling Mirage to Penn Natl

Submitted by Tyler Durden on 01/10/2009 02:23 -0400

After losing his shirt, bifocals, and the backup tire of his Jeep Cherokee by assuming that Ford and GM are actually competitive in the global car market, Kirk Kerkorian is allegedly selling one of his prize jewels on the LV strip: the MGM Mirage.