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The Game Of The State Of The Union

Tyler Durden's picture




 

While watching the live-stream of Obama's third State Of The Union speech here, why not enjoy BNP's 'p(o)ints game'?

 

Thanks to BNP's Bricklin Dwyer for the 'game' below and for noting that Obama's approval rating is 44% (approval has tracked the stock market/GDP higher since October's sub-40% trough) versus a disapproval rating of 47%.

For those looking for the over/under on the speech length, Obama's speeches have averaged 1:05:27 (and average only beaten by Clinton)

Full text of speech to follow...

 

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Tue, 01/24/2012 - 21:59 | 2094793 Cult_of_Reason
Cult_of_Reason's picture

Mitt Romney’s State of the Union Challenge on the Mortgage Crisis

"We’re just so overleveraged, so much debt in our society, and some of the institutions that hold it aren’t willing to write it off and say they made a mistake, they loaned too much, we’re overextended, write those down and start over. They keep on trying to harangue and pretend what they have on their books is still what it’s worth."

"The banks are scared to death, of course, because they think they’re going to go out of business… They’re afraid that if they write all these loans off, they’re going to go broke. And so they’re feeling the same thing you’re feeling. They just want to pretend all of this is going to get paid someday so they don’t have to write it off and potentially go out of business themselves.”

"This is cascading throughout our system and in some respects government is trying to just hold things in place, hoping things get better… My own view is you recognize the distress, you take the loss and let people reset. Let people start over again, let the banks start over again. Those that are prudent will be able to restart, those that aren’t will go out of business. This effort to try and exact the burden of their mistakes on homeowners and commercial property owners, I think, is a mistake."

http://www.ritholtz.com/blog/2012/01/mitt-romneys-state-of-the-union-challenge-on-the-mortgage-crisis/

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:03 | 2094818 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

State of the Union: Shit is Fucked Up!

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:06 | 2094826 Conrad Murray
Conrad Murray's picture

I'm from the future. I already have a highlight reel of Black Bush's State of the Union reading...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJe8VVEQ0pQ

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:13 | 2094859 GOSPLAN HERO
GOSPLAN HERO's picture

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yDrtNEr_5M

Dedicated to our glorious leader: Comrade President Obama!

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:29 | 2094949 WonderDawg
WonderDawg's picture

How many lies is this fucker going to tell? Holy shit, it's non-stop lies. I'm gonna puke.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:44 | 2095027 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Did I actually hear him say that they were going to force states to REQUIRE kids to stay in high schools until 18?

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:58 | 2095105 tarsubil
tarsubil's picture

He sounds like a fucking carnie trying to get us to play a shell game.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 23:37 | 2095249 tarsubil
tarsubil's picture

The top questions on youtube involve the NDAA, SOPA, PIPA, and the Patriot Act. They have not been mentioned. Surprise!

Wed, 01/25/2012 - 01:09 | 2095472 Milestones
Milestones's picture

Bingo!!!             Milestones

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:36 | 2094988 sabra1
sabra1's picture

you rang?

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:15 | 2094861 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

Question:

Why are US Presidents intoduced as "The President of the United States"

and not "The President of the United States OF AMERICA"?

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:18 | 2094878 Conrad Murray
Conrad Murray's picture

Because a Kenyan/Indonesian can't possibly hold that title.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:32 | 2094965 nmewn
nmewn's picture

I missed the rousing patriotic round of Hail to the Thief!!!

What were those words to that anyways?...lol.

Hail to the Chief we have chosen for the nation,
Hail to the Chief! We salute him, one and all.
Hail to the Chief, as we pledge cooperation.
In proud fulfillment of a great, noble call.

Yours is the aim to make this grand country grander,
This you will do, That's our strong, firm belief.
Hail to the one we selected as commander,
Hail to the President! Hail to the Chief!

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:38 | 2094997 sabra1
sabra1's picture

and especially when the swearing in was intentionally flubbed!

Wed, 01/25/2012 - 03:59 | 2095655 Karl von Bahnhof
Karl von Bahnhof's picture

Hey you know work of Jordan Maxwell :)

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:07 | 2094831 Cult_of_Reason
Cult_of_Reason's picture

This is what real Journalism looks like (American media pussies have a lot to learn from this Irish journalist)

ECB press-conference in Ireland.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=HAf7J4a_T1g

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:36 | 2094990 ucsbcanuck
ucsbcanuck's picture

Agreed - probing journalism at its best. He asked hard questions which the guy refused to answer. Finally some outrage. Good to see.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:55 | 2095084 Rynak
Rynak's picture

Umm, ZHers may have forgotten it already, but 2% of the population of ireland, marched on the gov, refusing the bailouts back then... no consequences.

....what the irish population at this point is, isn't ignorant, but feeling irrelevant.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 23:38 | 2095253 rosiescenario
rosiescenario's picture

Very good....like to see him interview Timmy....

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 23:39 | 2095255 James_Cole
James_Cole's picture

Fantastic, they should post this on the front page of zh

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:20 | 2094887 The Monkey
The Monkey's picture

The correlation between the stock market and the sitting president's approval rating.

Doesn't this make for an especially fun year to watch the Federal Reserve?

By the way Mr. Bernanke, since core CPI continues to trend down (I'm absolutely certain you are on top of this), you really don't have that much time before firing off massive open market purchases under the guise of "help for homeowners". You know this to be a fact, and so do the markets, which are well ahead of you.

Have a good time in this political season! And BTW, I'm 3X leveraged short, just for proper disclosure.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 23:03 | 2095131 Freddie
Freddie's picture

The Democrat's muslim speaks.  The leader of their party.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:07 | 2094829 Chief KnocAHoma
Chief KnocAHoma's picture

We are SAVED the big banks just threw a deck chair off the Titanic!

 

http://garereport.blogspot.com/

Wed, 01/25/2012 - 00:09 | 2095336 Clockwork Orange
Clockwork Orange's picture

Mitt is a knee-pad wearing, Wall Street loving, Federal Reserve profiting, oligarchical pawn himself.  Wake up.

Wed, 01/25/2012 - 09:08 | 2095867 Dick Gazinia
Dick Gazinia's picture

Look in my eyes, what do you see?
the Cult of Personality
I know your anger, I know your dreams
I've been everything you wanna be ohhh…
I'm the Cult of Personality
Like Mussolini and Kennedy
I'm the Cult of Personality
the Cult of Personality
the Cult of Personality

Neon lights, Nobel Prize
When a leader speaks, the reflection lies
You won't have to follow me
Only you can set me free

I sell the things you need to be
I'm the smiling face of your T.V. ohh…
I'm the Cult of Personality
I exploit you; still you love me
I tell you one and one makes three ohh…
I'm the Cult of Personality
Like Joseph Stalin and Gandhi ohh…
I'm the Cult of Personality
the Cult of Personality
the Cult of Personality

Neon lights, Nobel Prize
When a leader speaks, that leader dies
You won't have to follow me
Only you can set you free

(Guitar solo)

You gave me fortune, you gave me fame
You gave me power in your God's name
I'm every person you need to be ohh…
I'm, the, Cult, of, Per, Son, Al, Ity

I am the Cult of (x8)
Personality

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 21:58 | 2094794 Fox Moulder
Fox Moulder's picture

Third SOTU?

 

I thought he skipped the first one.

 

ETA: Never mind. I guess 2012 would have been his 4th if he didn't skip 2009.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:08 | 2094837 Chief KnocAHoma
Chief KnocAHoma's picture

The first speech is not called the SOTU. It is done after only days in office so it is just an address.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 21:56 | 2094796 CalibratedConfidence
CalibratedConfidence's picture

John Boehner Cries....excellent

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 21:56 | 2094798 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

Change you can believe in +10

Winning the future +100

Steve jobs widow (could goggle her name can't be bothered) sitting beside FLOTUS +1000

Hypocrisy of politics in America=Priceless

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:10 | 2094841 bob_dabolina
bob_dabolina's picture

Speaking of hypocrisy: 

Like Obama unveiling the MLK statue in D.C while saying MLK would be advocating more jobs in America; the statue was made in China. 

I guess it's to be expected from the government sponsored propoganda machine.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 21:56 | 2094799 dolph9
dolph9's picture

I've stopped watching Obama.  Not to mention the so called debates.

Why kill your soul with trash?  There's too much shit in the world as it is.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:00 | 2094808 you enjoy myself
you enjoy myself's picture

no "private jets", "energy independence" or "warren buffett"?   and while "jobs" is on the list it should be triple points for "green jobs".

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:03 | 2094815 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

Really it's GWB 11th State of the Union

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:03 | 2094816 Conrad Murray
Conrad Murray's picture

Fuck O'Barry.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:19 | 2094884 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Let me be clear...ahhh...errr.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:03 | 2094817 q99x2
q99x2's picture

I couldn't see Joe the Plumber anywhere in the audience. Who's that guy supposed to be representing?

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:07 | 2094835 optimator
optimator's picture

You'll only see those representing themselves and their master here.  Except for two whose last name is Paul.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:03 | 2094819 marcusfenix
marcusfenix's picture

what about "red line" Hormuz" "Iran's nuclear ambitions" how much are those worth?

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:09 | 2094825 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Moron-in-chief is almost on deck. Get your drinking MaObama goggles on.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:06 | 2094828 marcusfenix
marcusfenix's picture

wait better still, how many points for Obama referring to the constitution  as "some old piece of paper"

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:07 | 2094830 tekhneek
tekhneek's picture

"Energy", "Foreign policy", "Iran", "Nuclear weapons"

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:07 | 2094836 djsmps
djsmps's picture

New game--Take a drink every time Obama says the word "folks".

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:10 | 2094844 marcusfenix
marcusfenix's picture

good lord man, I do have to go to work in the morning :-)

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:25 | 2094912 Conrad Murray
Conrad Murray's picture

folks. My how that stupid word pisses me the fuck off. Listen folks. Cmon folks. Fuck that!

What else goes with this bullshit? Countdowns. End of the world in 3...2...1... Wrong. Your stupid countdown is a declaration of doucheyness, nothing more. Just Sayin'

Just Sayin'. Not only does this make one come off as a prepubescent autistic drama queen, but adding the apostrophe at the end should make you eligible for execution. Just Sayin'. LOLOMGWTFBBQ!

/rant

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:09 | 2094838 Lord Welligton
Lord Welligton's picture

Christ on a bicycle.

$15 Trillion in debt and it's just one big laugh.

 

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:31 | 2094955 Conrad Murray
Conrad Murray's picture

The visual of Jesus in his nightgown, locks flowing in the breeze, waving to the Pharaoh's harem as he passes by ring-a-ling-a-linging his little bell...priceless. Thank you.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 23:29 | 2095223 Lord Welligton
Lord Welligton's picture

Your welcome.

Gotta laugh.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:09 | 2094839 ifishivote
ifishivote's picture

Thank God for TBS and Big Bang Theory

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:24 | 2094902 Teamtc321
Teamtc321's picture

Boner look's to have had a big bang theory in his pant's. Crouchy looking mo fo behind the mo fo. 

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:33 | 2094966 WonderDawg
WonderDawg's picture

He looks like he just swallowed a cat turd. Kind of how I feel, listening to this bullshit.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:11 | 2094845 yogibear
yogibear's picture

The peanut galley just keeps clapping. Would they shut the applause sign off? 

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:14 | 2094855 Money 4 Nothing
Money 4 Nothing's picture

Will be in full Campaign mode. will state we are recovering, but a tough road ahead. Unemployment down. Osama Bin Laden dead since 2001 blah blah WTF ever!

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:10 | 2094846 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

Maybe he'll just come out and perform seppuku. Short, sweet, and honest.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:11 | 2094847 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

I tried watching but it made me want to throw up seeing a those inbred sycophants fall all over themselves trying to shake totut's hand. I think I'll watch Planet Earth.

Wed, 01/25/2012 - 01:57 | 2095549 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

The gag response is indicative of a good sense of discernment. If more were so gifted we wouldn't be in this predicament.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:11 | 2094848 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Sounds like all that clapping is just a laugh track

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:11 | 2094849 optimator
optimator's picture

They'll be no more wars, just one big love-in.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:11 | 2094850 djsmps
djsmps's picture

One last comment-Fuck Obama and fuck the US Marine Corp of war criminals.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:35 | 2094980 Conrad Murray
Conrad Murray's picture

War criminals? Yea, I've got some of that. Watch if you dare. Skip to around 37:15 if in hurry/ADD/etc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RiNmerP32xk

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:12 | 2094856 tarsubil
tarsubil's picture

Quite the jaw dropper to start off with.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:13 | 2094857 Arkadaba
Arkadaba's picture

Safer and more respected around the world? Let it begin

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:14 | 2094860 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

For the first time in 9 years, my Kenya hut will be not threatened by Osbama Bin Laden

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:15 | 2094862 non_anon
Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:30 | 2094952 Teamtc321
Teamtc321's picture

Unreal isn't it?

While small to mid size businesses our employment engines have a tight ran 13 week rolling forecast, yearly budget's etc are getting smashed in this BS centrally planned eco system. 

 

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:15 | 2094864 greg2514
greg2514's picture

someone should shut the teleprompter off.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:20 | 2094885 Money 4 Nothing
Money 4 Nothing's picture

Permanatly would be preferable.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:32 | 2094959 non_anon
non_anon's picture

yeah, I had to mute obummer due to the bullshit piling high

Wed, 01/25/2012 - 01:53 | 2095545 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

A strong earthquake between us and the nether regions might sever the input connection.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:16 | 2094865 Tsunami Wave
Tsunami Wave's picture

Tyler, make sure to use the Ali G translator after this speech is over

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:16 | 2094867 pakled
pakled's picture

This just in… from a nearby parallel universe… from a sister earth phased just ahead of our own in the evolutionary arc. From a dimension that is shifting from the tendency to the bizzaro to one with a proclivity for personal and global epiphany.

Presenting: Barack Obama’s 2012 State of the Union Address
Theme of tonight's address: I Had a Dream Too.
Or, It's One Thing To SAY, and Another Thing to DO.

My fellow Americans,

I had a dream last week. In the dream an angel spoke to me. She said “Osama… I mean, Obama, from now on you will be a good person who will tell only the truth”. Ever since then I feel compelled to honor the angel’s wish. I’ve had a change of heart folks. It’s a brand new me! I must start by telling you that I have not been a very good President. Some of you were tipped off immediately by my Cabinet appointments. Indeed, in the past three years this administration has only made things worse. But what the hell, I’ve got one more year… let’s see what can be done about that. Upon reflection of the current state of our union entering this auspicious year of 2012 – a state which must be characterized as pathetic at best-- it is clear that America needs to tack to a new course. This country needs change. Wait. That word... change. You've been promised change by every Presidential candidate for the past 20 years haven't you? I guess the word has now lost its meaning. Well, let's just say we need to move beyond all the campaign promises that I have so conveniently forgotten about. Toward that end, I intend to front-run the upcoming election by announcing tonight the new approach America will take in 2012:

1. By aggressively attempting to control with force the so-called trouble spots around the world we are actually creating the very problems we’re (supposedly) trying to prevent. Therefore, starting tomorrow, and continuing for a trial period of one year, America’s military will stand down. The military will remain at the ready, however it will only respond to actual direct hostile action taken against America’s interests. All sanctions against Iran and other nations have deemed hostile are hereby rescinded. Iran is put on notice that if it were to preemptively attack Israel, or anyone else, in any form, with any weapon, all of NATO will immediately respond in a massive retaliation and destroy Iran’s weaponry and the means to produce it. In other words, we will reaquaint you to the Flintstones, and it will be as easy to do as sipping a martini. Furthermore, a ‘Radio Free Iran’ communication network will be set up for the purpose of broadcasting above information directly to the citizens of Iran, making it clear that a fresh start has been unilaterally offered, and America will not be the first to shoot (see below with regards to Israel).

2. Secondly, I am tonight announcing a new dictate for the Department of Energy. The department is to institute a new Manhattan type Project, dubbed ‘Manhattan 2’, whose purpose will be to make America energy independent. The city of Manhattan will be leveled to make room for the project. Wait... (hand moves to ear) I'm being told that will not be necessary. Whatever, the DOE will be given broad power to explore any rational means of developing renewable energy sources, and part of the funding will come from the military budget. Yes, the military-industrial complex is going to evolve into the energy-industrial complex. If everyone can hang on to their shorts there will be plenty of money to be made all around. After all, we’re not a bunch of communists here. To enable this project the following will be done:

a. All weapons development projects, including funding, manpower, and facilities will come under the control of the Manhattan 2 project and be re-tasked to the new directive. NASA will be at its disposal as well.

b. All lobbyist associated in any way with the oil industry are hereby banned from interacting with Congress. If the lobbyists feel this action is illegal they are welcome to pursue the matter through the courts (good luck with that). This move should facilitate all those suppressed energy technologies to emerge.

c. All funding for the Department of Homeland Security will be immediately re-tasked to the DOE. DHS personnel will be transferred to a new, yet to be announced Federal program.

3. Along with new energy technologies, America will also focus on rebuilding its manufacturing base by developing various advanced technologies designed to improve the human condition, that only America, with its unique citizenry and know-how, can do. Think of this endeavor as the new 'yes we can'. Once developed, all these new energy/other technologies will be made available for sale to any nation. Initially however, only countries holding America’s debt will be offered these technologies… in lieu of debt repayment. Should be a great alternative to that stinky old paper we’ve been trying to pass off on you. Put another way, America, in the future, will be in the business of exporting the means to create comfortable lifestyles and economic independence. In short, America will start exporting happiness rather than misery. Plan accordingly.

4. The new budget sent to Congress will include the following:

a. In addition to defunding the DHS, funding for the DEA will also be discontinued. Monies for the war on drugs will be immediately re-tasked to augment a revised program for publicly financing Federal election campaigns. A Presidential Order will be signed urging every person running for Federal office take a pledge to access only said public monies for funding their campaigns. Now, I as President cannot force a candidate to use only public funds, but for a start I sure as hell can have a website erected listing in real time the donation sources of any person running for Federal Office (including super PAC activity of course). In fact, it might be a good idea to install special government sponsored TV screens in everyones home to transmit this info! Wait.... (hand to ear) I'm being told that is not a good idea either. Ixnay on the screens.

b. A freeze will be placed on any increases in Federal Spending. All retained programs continue with 2011 funding for the foreseeable future. A constitutional convention will be convened after the elections to add amendments for; balanced budget, term limits, and publicly financed campaigns.

c. A new program for rebuilding America’s infrastructure will also be enacted. Funding for the program will be channeled initially from money currently earmarked for the Department of Education. I know, I know... we’ll have to come up with other funding of course, I just can’t think of where at the moment. However, manpower for this revitalization project will come from the ranks of the unemployed, the military personnel we will be calling back from overseas duty, as well as former TSA and DHS personnel (ha ha. told ya!).

d. Foreign Aid to Israel will from now on be dependent upon Israeli’s successful implementation of a peace doctrine. The doctrine must include:

i. Accommodation for a Palestinian State (how can Israel complain about those who deny its right to exist, when it denies another group a homeland? Don't make no sense.)

ii. The appointment of Larry David as Peace Ambassador to Palestine (Click here for video of Larry's credentials for this post)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Co_BhTxgWys.

iii. a King Solomon style 50/50 split of all occupied territories to settle the land dispute (with no whining. Peace has a price).

5. Cabinet changes. Effective immediately:

a. Kyle Bass will replace Timothy Geithner as Treasury Secretary.

b. Paul Volker will hand pick a replacement for Ben Bernanke as Chairman of the Federal Reserve.

c. Ron Paul will replace Hillary Clinton as Secretary of State (my strategy here is that Paul will be so busy telling other countries what America can’t do for them anymore he won’t have time to run a proper campaign. Tee hee.)

d. Richard Branson will replace Steven Chu as Secretary of the Department of Energy.

e. Attorney General Eric Holder will be replaced by U.S. District Court Judge Jed S. Rakoff (he’s the judge who is challenging the SEC rulings by making the big banks acknowledge their wrongdoing).

f. Larry Flint will replace Mary Schapiro at the Securities and Exchange Commission. Oh… this department will be defunded as well, including its T-1 line (hey, there’s some more money for the infrastructure rebuild! If we also decriminalize and then tax drugs I think we'll make our nut.). Anyway, I know killing the SEC will be a shock to the average investor, and those who have closely followed the department's history will be shocked shocked. But the SEC hasn't been able to control its own behaviors, let alone that of the marketplace. Justice will pick up the slack (pun not intended).

g. A new Federal agency will be created called the Department of Public Humiliation. The DPH will be attached to the Justice Department and will be tasked with prosecuting any and all persons taking part in creating the crash of 2008. Public stockades, tar & feathering, and rails (as in ‘run your greedy ass out of town on one’) will be made legal again. The DPH will have the power to claw back any existing laws that gave the culprits a get-out-of-jail-free card, and retroactively prosecute all 2008 masterminds. Judge Judy will be appointed Secretary of Humiliation to run this new agency. Some TSA personnel will be re-re-tasked to run the humiliation squads as they have the most experience.

h. Ronald Regan will return from the grave to become Whitehouse Press Secretary (more suppressed technology). The “great communicator” will convince the press to convince the public to convince anyone running for Congress that if they take a penny from corporate interests they don’t stand a snowball’s chance in hell of getting elected. If we fail to revive Regan, I know a Jedi Knight who might be available. The force can have a strong effect on the weak minded [press].

6. All electronic voting machines must be replaced with old fashioned ballots before the 2012 Presidential election. Better to risk a chad hanging here and there then to trust corporate built computing machines to report the vote (while we're at it let's outlaw the HFT computers too).

Finally, next Tuesday will be National we-apologize-to-the-whole-world-for-our-part-in-screwing-everything-up day. Details later.

My fellow Americans, this is but a small start toward the goal of truly renewing the dream we call America. I fully expect Congress to cooperate in this endeavor. However, since the Presidency is now dictarioly empowered to enact martial law and institute the aforementioned policies without resistance, I am putting Congress on notice that I will not hesitate to make it so.

PS – If you write me, direct your correspondence to my bat cave in Denver. I will be hunkered down there until the election.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:16 | 2094868 djsmps
djsmps's picture

IMAGiNE a nation of unicorns. We can do it!

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:19 | 2094869 GOSPLAN HERO
GOSPLAN HERO's picture

A SSDD Obama speech ... platitudes, BS, and chicken jism.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:17 | 2094872 Arkadaba
Arkadaba's picture

Everyone plays by the same set of rules - oh ya

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:17 | 2094873 billybobtx
billybobtx's picture

WATCHING THE PM'S TICK ON EVERY STUPID SPENDING SPREE HE MENTIONS....

 

PHYZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:18 | 2094875 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

Here it is boys and girls:

Obama puts a percentage on the Buffet Rule: minimum 30% tax on incomes of +$1 million.

-proposes min tax for overseas profits U.S. companies

-wants to spend more on infrastructure using savings from ending wars 

-New mortgage re-fi plan to help home-owners save $3,000 a year. Fee on banks to cover costs.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:23 | 2094903 QQQBall
QQQBall's picture

So if you don't spend in one area, but shift to another... err, where is the savings.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:27 | 2094927 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

You are asking me?

I didn't say this shit makes sense.

Not #BTFD and don't ask silly questions. ;)

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:29 | 2094940 QQQBall
QQQBall's picture

I know~

 

Is it still just silly, or is it now illegal to ask such questions?

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:18 | 2094877 trentusa
trentusa's picture

Why is everybody clapping like its a heroes welcome? This guy broke every campaign promise he ever made and not only didnt bring the troops home he got us into like five more wars but they're all classified waged by special forces wearing guerilla rebel suits. Nigga please i can see u talking but i know u r lying bc mouth is moving...

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:40 | 2095004 Conrad Murray
Conrad Murray's picture

Why? Because they're paid to.

Until a few of these pieces of shit are found walking on the street, grabbed by the throat, strangled so hard they go purple, and then have their heads smashed into the concrete below over and over and over and over until it's mush, nothing will change.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 23:19 | 2095181 gtb
gtb's picture

So, at that rate, I'm guessing nothing will change.  Regardless, thanks for the visual.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:19 | 2094879 optimator
optimator's picture

"Everyone will play by the same set of rules"  That's a new idea.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:19 | 2094880 ucsbcanuck
ucsbcanuck's picture

"approval has tracked the stock market/GDP higher since October's sub-40% trough"

And there we have it - no crash this year. Bullish to the stars. If all else fails, Bernanke will print. He will go through several mouse left buttons in the process.

Wed, 01/25/2012 - 02:15 | 2095569 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

The stats say S&P of 1500 gets him re-elected. (no sarcasm) don't bet the farm it doesn't happen.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:19 | 2094881 Arkadaba
Arkadaba's picture

"It was wrong, it was immoral" ... but he never says it was illegal

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:18 | 2094882 Kinskian
Kinskian's picture

Obama has a yellow hue to his skin. Is there an underlying health issue, or is my television having trouble replicating the splendour of diversity that is Obama?

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:21 | 2094890 dolph9
dolph9's picture

Well it's called "high yellow."  The normal hue of a half breed, one acceptable enough to use as an affirmative action puppet by the white liberals and Jews.

Either that, or he's actually jaundiced.  Maybe he's given up tobacco for the booze?

Wed, 01/25/2012 - 14:01 | 2096796 Liposuction
Liposuction's picture

I asked my wife if he looked a tad butterscotch...?

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:19 | 2094883 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Obama: Nothing is more urgent than my need for another 1.2 trillion. Bernak will talk about that tomorrow.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:23 | 2094886 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

So after 2008, I turned control of my administration over to these same bankers....... GWB, that mother fucker, left me no choice.......... This shit will never happen again............I mean it this time..........You can all work for GM......or build locks........

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 23:22 | 2095192 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Yeah... Fucking Master Lock bringing jobs back to America...

Let me guess... they got the government contract to lock the gates & cells at FEMA camps...

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:21 | 2094888 jefe95
jefe95's picture

And of course, the top and side banner ads are by Obama for America.

 

Can I block that shit?

Wed, 01/25/2012 - 06:04 | 2095717 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Go here:  http://www.mvps.org/winhelp2002/hosts2.htm

Follow the directions.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:22 | 2094891 trentusa
trentusa's picture

remember last year his plan @ the SOTUA to fix the economy was to wave the magic export wand and thereby increase exports 50%

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:21 | 2094892 Arkadaba
Arkadaba's picture

As Yves has said often - we don't need new rules to deal with the economic crisis but we need to enforce the existing ones.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:21 | 2094893 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

My fellow world citizens. The state of the union is a fucking mess. Therefore we shall initiate three new tv wars this year to stimulate your senses and distract you from your worries. There will be lots of spectacular explosions to titillize your senses. And there is no need to worry because we won't harm your slumber by showing any innocent children being blown to bits. These wars promise to make your more secure because we are going to kill many more Muslims.

I promise to funnel more of your children's future to prop up our existing financial system. It's a small price to pay to make sure the bankers don't lose their way of life.

Let me be clear. Our future has never been dimmer and by the time I am done with my second term you will be so beat down that you won't mind a little R&R at Guantanamo Bay.

Thank you and may Allah bless you.
Your Fucker in Chief.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:21 | 2094894 TheSilverJournal
TheSilverJournal's picture

Here's a write up and video of Obama's socialist coming out of the closet speech that he gave about two months ago, if anyone still had any doubts.

Obama Attacks Capitalism

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:22 | 2094895 billybobtx
billybobtx's picture

Pretty sure I just say Madoff clapping...

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:22 | 2094896 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

GM !!!!!!!! I knew I shouldn't be watching this

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:22 | 2094897 trentusa
trentusa's picture

"the office of the president exists not to wield power, but to distract attention away from it."

Douglas Adams- the guide

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:23 | 2094899 Arkadaba
Arkadaba's picture

"What is happening in Detroit can happen in other industries". Besides the mixed metaphor, that is a scary thought

Wed, 01/25/2012 - 00:06 | 2095329 rosiescenario
rosiescenario's picture

Wow....you mean Detroit might happen here in Silicon Valley?? Just think of the shorting opportunities.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:23 | 2094900 chindit13
chindit13's picture

Because I'm in a hotel this morning (Asia time), I cannot smash my TV in response to the SOTU speech (POTUS SOTUS).  For that inability to stimulate economic growth and GDP via the broken window fallacy, I blame Obama.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:26 | 2094918 QQQBall
QQQBall's picture

C-13.

 

+1 Hahahhaha

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:33 | 2094973 chindit13
chindit13's picture

POTUS SOTUS HOCUS POCUS

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:23 | 2094901 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

GM is the number one automaker, Ford didn't take taxpayer monies. No dealerships want your Volt on their lot.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:23 | 2094904 KickIce
KickIce's picture

How about "previous administration" or the standard 'drove the car in the ditch" routine.

My question, how the hell does this clown have a 44% approval rating?

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:23 | 2094905 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

Did I just hear JFK !???

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:24 | 2094908 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Obama: If we bring back NIKE, the cost of shoe will exceed $500.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:25 | 2094911 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

Why aren't Biden and Boehner eating corndogs?

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:25 | 2094917 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

535 sycophants ruling 320 million people. I'm pretty sure the numbers are on our side.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:26 | 2094920 optimator
optimator's picture

Guess his "Job creating Buddy, Immelt, is not in the gallary

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:26 | 2094923 sagerxx
sagerxx's picture

WTH happened to John Kerry?! Beatdown outside a bar in Southie?

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:26 | 2094929 optimator
optimator's picture

He slipped on his way out to his limo.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:29 | 2094946 Money 4 Nothing
Money 4 Nothing's picture

Got caught out on the street getting questioned about SOPA or PIPA? Or that Global warming e-mails?

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:26 | 2094924 DavidC
DavidC's picture

I'm feeling the same way watching Obama as I got watching Tony B. Liar - ill...

DavidC

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:27 | 2094933 Arkadaba
Arkadaba's picture

Kicking China now - interesting

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:28 | 2094939 Lord Welligton
Lord Welligton's picture

Trade Enforcement Unit.

 

Welcome to Protectionism.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:32 | 2094963 skam
skam's picture

How's that gonna work?  I'm pretty sure people aren't manufacturing bootleg DVDs and CDs and shipping them to China.  What a joke.

 

 

Wed, 01/25/2012 - 00:09 | 2095338 rosiescenario
rosiescenario's picture

Guess we don't need to sell more paper to China, so fuck them....building a case for our eventual default on that paper.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:29 | 2094944 QQQBall
QQQBall's picture

 

Imelt could not attend. He is scouting factory sites in China.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:30 | 2094951 TheSilverJournal
TheSilverJournal's picture

The US just likes to call China a dumper in order to scapegoat problems like Solyndra.

US Claims China is “Dumping” Solar Panels When Exactly the Opposite is True
Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:31 | 2094954 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

My crony capitalism will make sure our unions come first. No LED/light bulbs will not go uninspected before we put this globalisated product on the retail market.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:31 | 2094956 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

Awesome.

Government gets bigger. Trade Enfourcement Unit. 

When in doubt create either a Committe or an Unit. Investigate....Refuditate.....Self Deport. Opps, may have just strung together too many soundbites there ;)

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 23:00 | 2095111 KickIce
KickIce's picture

Every time this putz signs a piece if paper you can expect more to come out of your wallet.

Green companies are licking their chops about now.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 23:06 | 2095143 skam
skam's picture

I think I've heard him announce at least three new units so far.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:33 | 2094967 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Our teachers need your help to fund underwater pension programs. Your passion is a bargin worth making.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:36 | 2094984 trentusa
trentusa's picture

Let's give students the chance to attend the school of his or her choice. I'll support teachers if u will support the voucher system and not the public school indoctrination monopoly.

       Let's hear it for the voucher system!!

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:34 | 2094974 QQQBall
QQQBall's picture

 

Hahahahaha - all kids MUST stay in high school... Homeland security to double as truant officers. Hahahahha. This is sick shit.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:37 | 2094991 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

So I guess homeschooling is now illegal?  LOL, not very well thought out.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:35 | 2094977 Cabreado
Cabreado's picture

Shame.

Must be the new rage.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:38 | 2094978 optimator
optimator's picture

As the Tomcat said to the skunk, though it's been grand..............

    I've enjoyed all of this that I can stand.....

You said you'd stick with me thru thick and thin, I know.........

    The longer you stick, the thinner I get, you'll have to go.....

(to the tune of "he'll have to go".

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:35 | 2094981 skam
skam's picture

Are we gonna send dropouts to jail?  Or their parents? 

 

Where's all this pie in the sky bullshit coming from?

 

"We'll run out of money."  Aren't we already out of money???

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:35 | 2094982 Lotus
Lotus's picture

I think I just got a glimpse of johnny corzine ,sitting in a chair way in the far corner with a dunce hat

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:37 | 2094995 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

In the next five year, we will run out of money. Help a negro fund the college industry to avoid deportation

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:41 | 2095003 optimator
optimator's picture

"We relied less on imported oil last year"  cause of unemplyed citiZens

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:38 | 2095000 Lord Welligton
Lord Welligton's picture

Is the State of the Union address normally this partisan?

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:41 | 2095010 blunderdog
blunderdog's picture

Aw, shit.  So now we're gonna hafta win the race TO the future before we even get the chance to WIN the future?

Fuck that.  Let's blow the shit outta the future instead.  It'll be quicker.

You heard me.  It's time for...

WAR ON THE FUTURE!

No one likes what it looks like.  No one is sure if it's on our side or not. 

Put it to rest.  Put the future down like a dog.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:44 | 2095020 Lord Welligton
Lord Welligton's picture

Wind Turbines !!!!

What about Solar Mr B?

Touchy subject is it?

 

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:44 | 2095023 Arkadaba
Arkadaba's picture

The staying in school blew me away. Sorry - not everyone is destined for higher education. And a lot of people have done very well without it.

Never forget being a T.A.  for a first year course in an academically challenging department/school. Most of the kids gave it their best but I could see a few were struggling. But their parents thought they should be there.

 

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:55 | 2095092 ifishivote
ifishivote's picture

Just like every person deserves a house..look where that got us.

Wed, 01/25/2012 - 08:42 | 2095811 maddogs
maddogs's picture

At this point, staying in School just helps with keeping the Unemployment rate from growing..more explosively, while creating more debt on the schooled.

The one trillion Education debt will grow. Banks will have more access to personal wealth as co-signers for student loans sign their future away.

What a debt machine America has Become-Obama.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:45 | 2095028 trentusa
trentusa's picture

Did you hear Obama's going to fight illegal immigration starting with sending his aunt and uncle back to Kenya. Then hopefully himself. Damn Uncle Toms... i'd rather vote for my waiter for prez than this guy

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:44 | 2095032 one man wolf pack
one man wolf pack's picture

I can't stand how he bangs his hands on the podium. It drives me nuts.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:45 | 2095033 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Over the last three years, I fleeced the taxpayers on failing solar companies. If I don't get more taxpayer monies for Mr. Picken's natural gas program, I will release more from the SPR.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:46 | 2095037 greg2514
greg2514's picture

"the easiest way to save money is to not to spend money"

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:55 | 2095043 Mercury
Mercury's picture

You just knew he was going to double down on the green energy thing (Damn the Solyndra, full speed ahead!) but did Obama just task the Navy with spearheading a new clean electricity campaign?

Windmills on ship decks....I wouldn't put it past this guy.

Wed, 01/25/2012 - 06:10 | 2095718 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Time to go long on 3-masted schooners...

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:48 | 2095049 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Wow! This guy is awe inspiring.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 22:49 | 2095059 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Wow he just promised no doc loans. Where have I heard that before?

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