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With Germany Down 2 Goals To Italy, Merkel Cancels Press Conference

Tyler Durden's picture




 

No, we are not making this up:

  • MERKEL CANCELS SUMMIT PRESS CONFERENCE TONIGHT
  • MERKEL SPOKESMAN SAYS TALKS ON GROWTH ACCORD ONGOING

In other news, Germany is down 0:2 to Italy right now, with the name of the guy scoring the second goal for Italy suspiciously close to Bailoutelli.

Some US-based readers can watch the game at the ESPN3 link below.

 

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Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:29 | 2570482 Fips_OnTheSpot
Fips_OnTheSpot's picture

NEIN!!!!

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:30 | 2570490 Clueless Economist
Clueless Economist's picture

Wow 2 goals scored in 1 game, by the same team no less!

Is this a record for the EuroTrash Soccer Championships?

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:39 | 2570547 Troublehoff
Troublehoff's picture

It's actually been quite a good tournament! I've enjoyed it.

Just because you Yanks arent happy unless the scoreline is 42 - 68 and there are fireworks, cheerleaders, ad-breaks and giant sodas any time someone scores ;)

 

 

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:44 | 2570581 CClarity
CClarity's picture

The Italians will win the futbol game but they will be crushed in the bond market game.  Same for Spain.   Eurocup doesn NOT = Eurobond.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:51 | 2570648 falak pema
falak pema's picture

thank God for small mercies! 

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 16:17 | 2570841 OttoMBMP
OttoMBMP's picture

Two great goals. Chapeau, Italy!

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 17:05 | 2571113 goldfreak
goldfreak's picture

now they'll never get a bailout, you dare beat the masters! Who do you think you are?

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 19:35 | 2571553 old naughty
old naughty's picture

Wait, may be there's more to this...

anyone know what the odds/payout is?

Sore loser, perhaps?

 

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 16:10 | 2570806 BandGap
BandGap's picture

I like the jiggly stuff.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 16:30 | 2570924 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

We get tired of seeing grown men writhing on the ground (and not just talking about Greek elected officials) and then miraculously being cured when 2 guys show up next to them with a stretcher.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 17:07 | 2571118 stocktivity
stocktivity's picture

Better than hooligans, riots, and skinny guys running up and down a field bouncing balls off their heads

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:39 | 2570549 SteinRobyn17
SteinRobyn17's picture

Come on Germany

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:41 | 2570563 HarryM
HarryM's picture

They need a comeback like the DJ this afternoon

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:48 | 2570614 HarryM
HarryM's picture

The symbol for UVXY is being changed to AIDS

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:39 | 2570552 Randall Cabot
Randall Cabot's picture

Canceling press conferences is BULLISH!!!

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:41 | 2570558 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

yup, 150 points worth.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:43 | 2570586 SHEEPFUKKER
SHEEPFUKKER's picture

Yup yup.....only stocks surging, nothing else moving.  Sounds about right nowadays.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:43 | 2570584 t_kAyk
t_kAyk's picture

Speaking of bullish news, Alien invasion bitchez!! 

http://www.usnews.com/news/articles/2012/06/28/most-americans-believe-government-keeps-ufo-secrets-survey-finds

As it turns out, the idea of aliens and UFOs isn't that farfetched to most Americans.

Here are some of the survey's most surprising findings:

-More than three quarters (77 percent) of those surveyed believe there are signs that aliens have visited Earth, and over half (55 percent) think Men in Black-style agents threaten those who report seeing them.

-More than a third (36 percent) believe aliens have already visited.

-Eighty percent believe the government has hidden information on UFOs from the public.

-Nearly two thirds (65 percent) think President Obama would be a better leader than Mitt Romney if an alien invasion were to happen.

-When it comes to superheroes, 21 percent think the Hulk would be their first call in an invasion, 12 percent would call Batman, and 8 percent say Spider-Man's their guy.

-In the event of an invasion, the respondents themselves would leave the fighting to superheroes and presidents, it seems--about a fourth said they would try to befriend the aliens, 13 percent said they would hide indoors, and just 5 percent said they'd try to "inflict bodily harm" on the invaders.

-Just 17 percent of those polled did not belive in UFOs; about half said they were unsure.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 16:44 | 2571004 Plutox
Plutox's picture

May be we can try to sell them some italian debit.... :D

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:50 | 2570651 SmoothCoolSmoke
SmoothCoolSmoke's picture

2-0 at halftime is the equvilant of a football score of 14-0 after Q1.   You would probably thnk that was a great football game, 

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 16:08 | 2570794 Clueless Economist
Clueless Economist's picture

2-0 at half is like 35-0 in NFL

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:56 | 2570700 No Euros please...
No Euros please we're British's picture

So, not just economics then?

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 16:18 | 2570858 Seorse Gorog fr...
Seorse Gorog from that Quantum Entanglement Fund. alright_.-'s picture

Unfortunately for you, it usually takes real work and persistence to achieve a goal. Or would you prefer if the goal lines were 1 yard apart.

And it's 'foot' 'ball'.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 17:22 | 2571196 Nussi34
Nussi34's picture

The winner is allowed to keep the Euro currency, the user has to introduce his own!

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:35 | 2570515 BarreraNorman70
BarreraNorman70's picture

A frieend's mother makes $84 hourly on the computer. She has been out of a job for 7 months but last month her pay check was $18729 just working on the computer for a few hours. Read more here www.CashHedge.com

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:41 | 2570559 Magnix
Magnix's picture

BarreraNorman70 wants your money! STAY AWAY, SCAM SCAM SCAM SCAM!

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:41 | 2570560 Tenshin Headache
Tenshin Headache's picture

You might as well know. She's not making that money on the computer.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 20:49 | 2571762 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

.

You might as well know. She's not making that money on the computer.

The goat and the Doberman also get their cut of the money, and those wading pools full of thousand island dressing have to be paid for as well.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:41 | 2570562 Temporis
Temporis's picture

So what your really saying is your friends mom is a whore who sells porn pictures of her getting plowed by 3 black guys, and occasionally a random farm animal.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:42 | 2570567 Terminus C
Terminus C's picture

Wow! my friends mom makes $1776 / hour dealing in silver certificate out of her basement.  She designs revolutionary software that destroys counterfeit money and gives the AIDS virus to bankers and politicians who touch a computer or cell phone.  The 99%ers are lining up for her guillotine package.  Read more here at www.revolutionsoonbitchez.com

 

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:47 | 2570605 PicassoInActions
PicassoInActions's picture

i understand that ZH does not moderate but this human trash should go.

Kick out the spammers.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:55 | 2570699 Jack Sheet
Jack Sheet's picture

no, w e do not read more here. Y o u fuck off.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:35 | 2570522 ChelseaAggro
ChelseaAggro's picture

It will be soon if the Germans play as badly in the second half.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:36 | 2570534 battle axe
battle axe's picture

The world is blowing apart and these idiots heading up Europe care more about F-ing soccer.....

 

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:46 | 2570579 Troublehoff
Troublehoff's picture

that's pretty bang on...

 

... i just got back from spain and i was amazed how cheap everything is over there now... seems quite deflationary - Perhaps that is the answer to this supposedely unworkable euro without fiscal union stuff... people in less productive places, earn less and pay less for local services... oh and default on debts that cant be paid...

 

...crazy idea

 

...but yeah - they were going mental for the football in spain.... many resturants and shops were empty

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 16:00 | 2570739 pkea
pkea's picture

She just doesn't know how else to explain to the boneheaded millionth time that THERE WILL BE NO EUROBONDS BACKED BY GERMANY....

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 16:12 | 2570820 bdc63
bdc63's picture

dead right.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 19:19 | 2571516 Crack-up Boom
Crack-up Boom's picture

but what if Spain says pleeez? 

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 16:53 | 2571062 LongSoupLine
LongSoupLine's picture

Italy won the soccer game and now Germany will say fuck you to ANY bailout in the future. Ha ha ha. This shit is fucked.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:29 | 2570486 fightthepower
fightthepower's picture

Germany can't win anything.  They can't win a war, they can win at football, but they can pay for other people's welfare.  Bend over Germany!

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:30 | 2570489 Robot Traders Mom
Robot Traders Mom's picture

Mario Balotelli is a modern day Jesse Owens.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:32 | 2570505 Clueless Economist
Clueless Economist's picture

Mario Balotelli, doesn't he run a chain of soul food joints in Harlem?

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:38 | 2570542 Joe Davola
Joe Davola's picture

I thought he was that croc-wearing dude on Iron Chef.  Not that I watch it, just what I've heard.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:43 | 2570585 Clueless Economist
Clueless Economist's picture

You watch it I know.  That obese red haired Irish looking dude with the orange crocs is actually really Italian dude.  Giada somethingorother

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:52 | 2570671 pods
pods's picture

Obese Irish looking dude should NEVER be said in the same breath as Giada.

Contributor help me out?

pods

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 16:40 | 2570788 robertocarlos
robertocarlos's picture

Gaida = Cooking deity.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:38 | 2570544 t_kAyk
t_kAyk's picture

I believe he is an obese 'Iron Chef'. 

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 16:31 | 2570929 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

Didn't he have to close those restaurants after he crapped on his clients (Wall Street) when he sided with the Occupiers?

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 17:45 | 2571283 falak pema
falak pema's picture

and Angela is Hitler at the Euro Olympics! 

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 21:00 | 2571803 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

falak pema said:

and Angela is Hitler at the Euro Olympics!

I've got a bad feeling about this.

http://images.nonexiste.net/img/irc/2011/04/20/Girl-Hitler-Front-Face.png

http://thejamminjabber.files.wordpress.com/2011/08/girl_hitler_hail.png

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:31 | 2570492 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

Italians play dirty football and enact Shakespearean plays on the field. It's not even fun to watch.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:31 | 2570495 Martial
Martial's picture

CALL NEIN ONE ONE!

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:38 | 2570496 daneskold
daneskold's picture

And ES pops 2+.

 

Bullish, bitchez

 

/sarc/

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:32 | 2570498 Zombie Investor
Zombie Investor's picture

Spain vs. Italy in finals.  Makes you wonder if German public opinion will be even more against a bailout of those countries.  Good luck with that...

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:46 | 2570600 Martin W
Martin W's picture

Spain vs. Italy in finals only if Angela und Sachauble agree...

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:33 | 2570508 Animal Cracker
Animal Cracker's picture

Priorities, Bitchez!

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:34 | 2570518 Conman
Conman's picture

Look at that ramp up. Incredible!

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:34 | 2570519 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

Merkel bet her backing of Euro-bonds on the game.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:35 | 2570520 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

There are some things more important in life than economic and fiscal policy; like soccer.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:47 | 2570603 Martin W
Martin W's picture

Exactly! Football BITCHEZ!! ;-)

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:35 | 2570521 Calidreaming
Calidreaming's picture

another fucking ramp attempt.

why isnt on a down day that stocks cant just finish at their lows

 

 

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 16:17 | 2570846 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Why that would totally dilute what little of the Hopium we have left!

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:35 | 2570525 Gringo Viejo
Gringo Viejo's picture

I'll take Charlie Weaver for the block!

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:38 | 2570530 Bam_Man
Bam_Man's picture

I didn't realize she was such a soccer (football) fan.

Germans can sometimes be sore losers though.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:45 | 2570592 bigdumbnugly
bigdumbnugly's picture

yeah like you don't see much of that with the soccer crowd.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:36 | 2570535 Boilermaker
Boilermaker's picture

And here comes the asisnine ramp job.

WHEEEEE!!!

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:42 | 2570577 pods
pods's picture

Ramp?

Moonshot.  

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:37 | 2570539 Calidreaming
Calidreaming's picture

Ok whatsa the latest fucking rumor now?

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:49 | 2570626 brooklynlou
brooklynlou's picture

Merkel sex tape ....

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 17:16 | 2571166 stocktivity
stocktivity's picture

ugggg...I'm trying to picture that in my mind but it won't even focus.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:58 | 2570728 Dad Was Right
Dad Was Right's picture

I didn't catch the whole story from the audio feed from my news source but it was something about changes that would help Spain and Italy. The part I did catch was that it was nothing more than a rehash of an earlier report, but the market ramped on it anyway.  I had just reentered a couple of quick FX shorts based on the Merkel cancellation. Then out of the blue came the ramp. Took me right out.  I just gotta believe these reports and late day ramps are coordinated. ES is continuing to climb heading into the bell.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:38 | 2570546 Jack Sheet
Jack Sheet's picture

Soccer - one of the best remedies for insomnia.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:40 | 2570553 Martin W
Martin W's picture

If Germany fails with Italy, Angela will say NEIN NEIN NIEN UND NO MORE GELD!!!

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:40 | 2570554 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

Rumors of EFSF PRIMARY market bond purchases....#btfd

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:39 | 2570555 Negro Primero
Negro Primero's picture

bAiL-oUt-TeLLi 2 / anGeLa 0

...and Euro going vertical

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:41 | 2570566 DrDinkus
DrDinkus's picture

gotta think a german loss can only further anger germans with regards to their PIIG brethren...mario balotelli could be the black swan!

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 16:01 | 2570745 robertocarlos
robertocarlos's picture

Well he is black. That was the best goal ever! I mean the worst goal ever if you are a german.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:42 | 2570570 john_connor
john_connor's picture

Huge swings = death rattle, bitchez.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:42 | 2570574 Zola
Zola's picture

Hahaha the most bankrupt countries are the best at SOCCER - correlation/causation/coincidence ??

They should maybe back their bonds with soccer players ?! I'm sure Monti would love the idea, now everyone can get a piece of the ACTION !! 

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:43 | 2570580 razorthin
razorthin's picture

Beaten beneath Italy and Spain.  How freakin ironic.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 16:21 | 2570879 falak pema
falak pema's picture

mother of europe has its responsibilities; two tits for the two beastly pigs! 

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:44 | 2570588 NEOSERF
NEOSERF's picture

Completely absorbing all the angst in Europe...how easily the chattle are hypnotized from their own demise...

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:47 | 2570604 stateside
stateside's picture

GOOOOOOAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!

 

stateside

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:47 | 2570606 docj
docj's picture

Meanwhile - someone in a basement somewhere hit the "BUY EVERY FREAKING THING!!!!!!!" button on Fraud Street at arounf 3:30.

Just another day that ends in the letter Y for the bankster cartel.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:48 | 2570613 adr
adr's picture

What was the 3PM rumor today? 150 points up in 40 minutes WTF!!!

 

Is the meeting cancelled because Merkel was found dead, so Eurobonds could be on the table?

God, what would be the ramp if a headline of "Merkel Found Dead" hit the tape? 2000 points?

Unfuckinbelievable

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 16:17 | 2570845 bdc63
bdc63's picture

Imagine my shock .... left to go to the post office at around 3:00pm and returned at 4:05 ... unfuckingreal

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:52 | 2570666 falak pema
falak pema's picture

merkel gets bad vibes down her spine? Is it insured against black magic?

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:57 | 2570709 Jack Sheet
Jack Sheet's picture

No, Monti got inside her penalty area.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 16:19 | 2570862 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

GAAAAHHHH!!!

TMI!

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:55 | 2570698 Father Lucifer
Father Lucifer's picture

PPT they can smell it coming.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:58 | 2570719 magpie
magpie's picture

Geez, why can't they ramp the Nasdaq ?

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 16:22 | 2570881 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

they got half of it back

market was oversold  L0L!!

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:59 | 2570725 robertocarlos
robertocarlos's picture

The Germans are not going to give Italy one red cent. Or is it some other unit? Send in the Kraken! This cannot abide.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 16:03 | 2570766 ali-ali-al-qomfri
ali-ali-al-qomfri's picture

Mutti braucht Zeit,

in resposne to all this talk about French PIIGS, the Germans are creating a new institute to help solve the crisis.

BOAR

Bundes Oben Anstalt fur Rettung

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 16:05 | 2570777 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

Monti did a muff dive for the save. Next up- Von Rumpboy

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 16:08 | 2570796 DutchR
DutchR's picture

Bitchez fight, what could possibly go wrong?

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 16:40 | 2570978 falak pema
falak pema's picture

italia-Espagna and eurobonds! 

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 17:19 | 2570984 matrix2012
matrix2012's picture

ITA 2 - 1 GER, ITA to advance to the final, a little sweet revenge knowing the German won't give out further paycheck :) LOL

both ITA and ESP, we may have depressed economies yet we do excel in ball kicking game!!

 

//correction: all the trio ITA, ESP and POR, econ may suck, but ball-kicking skills are excellent

 

btw in Wimbledon, an upset did happen, Nadal lost to Rosol: 7-6, 4-6, 4-6, 6-2, 4-6

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 17:34 | 2571236 youngandhealthy
youngandhealthy's picture

@Matrix: Did you watch the game? Fck shit. Italy didn't even play football...they played the game of handball. And when the Germans got the ball the Italiens "triped and screamed". Not one single gentlemens kick-off from the Italiens during the whole match....but 10+ for Italy. Thats not football...its cheating. Go Spain go.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 17:59 | 2571313 ArgentoFisico
ArgentoFisico's picture

Maaaaan... Germany simply didn't exist!

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 18:17 | 2571349 matrix2012
matrix2012's picture

 

@ youngandhealthy, nope, i just watched a glimpse of the last 10 min for my eyes were at wimbledon

i guess the Italians just applied Cattenaccio plus some tricks learned from their League ;)

yes, i also guess that any party comes out from the other half will beat them in th final.

 

By winning today they're going to forgo the German's paycheck :) very imprudent to play the hard ball against one's own creditor!

 

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 16:42 | 2570993 Negro Primero
Negro Primero's picture

nein bailout-elli for italy!

'angela'

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 17:57 | 2571314 ArgentoFisico
ArgentoFisico's picture

Gottendamned Italianen maccaronen merden! NEIN !!

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 16:57 | 2571083 falak pema
falak pema's picture

Van BOMPUY of Brussels says there is agreement for GROWTH package of 120 Billion for eurozone. With 120 B they could grow Opium and hopium flowers in brussels ! They should ask for help from Karzai of Karzai and Karzai and CIA Banzai!

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 17:16 | 2571164 matrix2012
matrix2012's picture

wonder if anyone notices that the look of van ROMPUY resembles very much the disgusting creature, GOLLUM in the LOTR

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 17:03 | 2571103 robertocarlos
robertocarlos's picture

You can't eat soccerballs. They'll be crying when there's no meatballs for lunch.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 17:11 | 2571140 pschwammerl
pschwammerl's picture

The Euro is Toast...you dont win a game against the one who has the money...dont do it...this will be the end afaik

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 17:31 | 2571235 walküre
walküre's picture

Merkel seen boarding her plane and leaving the summit.

Game over.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 17:51 | 2571297 falak pema
falak pema's picture

is she spending the night with black magic?

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 17:56 | 2571312 walküre
walküre's picture

the zoo in Berlin has better looking specimen

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 17:36 | 2571260 o-antonio-maria
o-antonio-maria's picture

Bailoutelli ? That's a good one :)

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 17:55 | 2571275 Snake
Snake's picture

She will pay regardless of the 2- 1.  She knows she's bailing herself.  She just had to save face with the German electorate.

ps. soccer is a rapid dance of sinewy legs, and not a show of brute force ...

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