• Tim Knight from...
    04/28/2016 - 00:27
    I was expecting a few boring candidate statements of the U.S. Senate - AKA the World's Most Exclusive Club - but, boy, was I wrong. Just take a look at some of these gems.
  • Tim Knight from...
    04/28/2016 - 00:27
    I was expecting a few boring candidate statements of the U.S. Senate - AKA the World's Most Exclusive Club - but, boy, was I wrong. Just take a look at some of these gems.

With Germany Down 2 Goals To Italy, Merkel Cancels Press Conference

Tyler Durden's picture




 

No, we are not making this up:

  • MERKEL CANCELS SUMMIT PRESS CONFERENCE TONIGHT
  • MERKEL SPOKESMAN SAYS TALKS ON GROWTH ACCORD ONGOING

In other news, Germany is down 0:2 to Italy right now, with the name of the guy scoring the second goal for Italy suspiciously close to Bailoutelli.

Some US-based readers can watch the game at the ESPN3 link below.

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Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:29 | 2570482 Fips_OnTheSpot
Fips_OnTheSpot's picture

NEIN!!!!

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:30 | 2570490 Clueless Economist
Clueless Economist's picture

Wow 2 goals scored in 1 game, by the same team no less!

Is this a record for the EuroTrash Soccer Championships?

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:39 | 2570547 Troublehoff
Troublehoff's picture

It's actually been quite a good tournament! I've enjoyed it.

Just because you Yanks arent happy unless the scoreline is 42 - 68 and there are fireworks, cheerleaders, ad-breaks and giant sodas any time someone scores ;)

 

 

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:44 | 2570581 CClarity
CClarity's picture

The Italians will win the futbol game but they will be crushed in the bond market game.  Same for Spain.   Eurocup doesn NOT = Eurobond.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:51 | 2570648 falak pema
falak pema's picture

thank God for small mercies! 

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 16:17 | 2570841 OttoMBMP
OttoMBMP's picture

Two great goals. Chapeau, Italy!

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 17:05 | 2571113 goldfreak
goldfreak's picture

now they'll never get a bailout, you dare beat the masters! Who do you think you are?

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 19:35 | 2571553 old naughty
old naughty's picture

Wait, may be there's more to this...

anyone know what the odds/payout is?

Sore loser, perhaps?

 

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 16:10 | 2570806 BandGap
BandGap's picture

I like the jiggly stuff.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 16:30 | 2570924 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

We get tired of seeing grown men writhing on the ground (and not just talking about Greek elected officials) and then miraculously being cured when 2 guys show up next to them with a stretcher.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 17:07 | 2571118 stocktivity
stocktivity's picture

Better than hooligans, riots, and skinny guys running up and down a field bouncing balls off their heads

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:39 | 2570549 SteinRobyn17
SteinRobyn17's picture

Come on Germany

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:41 | 2570563 HarryM
HarryM's picture

They need a comeback like the DJ this afternoon

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:48 | 2570614 HarryM
HarryM's picture

The symbol for UVXY is being changed to AIDS

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:39 | 2570552 Randall Cabot
Randall Cabot's picture

Canceling press conferences is BULLISH!!!

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:41 | 2570558 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

yup, 150 points worth.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:43 | 2570586 SHEEPFUKKER
SHEEPFUKKER's picture

Yup yup.....only stocks surging, nothing else moving.  Sounds about right nowadays.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:43 | 2570584 t_kAyk
t_kAyk's picture

Speaking of bullish news, Alien invasion bitchez!! 

http://www.usnews.com/news/articles/2012/06/28/most-americans-believe-government-keeps-ufo-secrets-survey-finds

As it turns out, the idea of aliens and UFOs isn't that farfetched to most Americans.

Here are some of the survey's most surprising findings:

-More than three quarters (77 percent) of those surveyed believe there are signs that aliens have visited Earth, and over half (55 percent) think Men in Black-style agents threaten those who report seeing them.

-More than a third (36 percent) believe aliens have already visited.

-Eighty percent believe the government has hidden information on UFOs from the public.

-Nearly two thirds (65 percent) think President Obama would be a better leader than Mitt Romney if an alien invasion were to happen.

-When it comes to superheroes, 21 percent think the Hulk would be their first call in an invasion, 12 percent would call Batman, and 8 percent say Spider-Man's their guy.

-In the event of an invasion, the respondents themselves would leave the fighting to superheroes and presidents, it seems--about a fourth said they would try to befriend the aliens, 13 percent said they would hide indoors, and just 5 percent said they'd try to "inflict bodily harm" on the invaders.

-Just 17 percent of those polled did not belive in UFOs; about half said they were unsure.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 16:44 | 2571004 Plutox
Plutox's picture

May be we can try to sell them some italian debit.... :D

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:50 | 2570651 SmoothCoolSmoke
SmoothCoolSmoke's picture

2-0 at halftime is the equvilant of a football score of 14-0 after Q1.   You would probably thnk that was a great football game, 

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 16:08 | 2570794 Clueless Economist
Clueless Economist's picture

2-0 at half is like 35-0 in NFL

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:56 | 2570700 No Euros please...
No Euros please we're British's picture

So, not just economics then?

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 16:18 | 2570858 Seorse Gorog fr...
Seorse Gorog from that Quantum Entanglement Fund. alright_.-'s picture

Unfortunately for you, it usually takes real work and persistence to achieve a goal. Or would you prefer if the goal lines were 1 yard apart.

And it's 'foot' 'ball'.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 17:22 | 2571196 Nussi34
Nussi34's picture

The winner is allowed to keep the Euro currency, the user has to introduce his own!

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:35 | 2570515 BarreraNorman70
BarreraNorman70's picture

A frieend's mother makes $84 hourly on the computer. She has been out of a job for 7 months but last month her pay check was $18729 just working on the computer for a few hours. Read more here www.CashHedge.com

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:41 | 2570559 Magnix
Magnix's picture

BarreraNorman70 wants your money! STAY AWAY, SCAM SCAM SCAM SCAM!

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:41 | 2570560 Tenshin Headache
Tenshin Headache's picture

You might as well know. She's not making that money on the computer.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 20:49 | 2571762 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

.

You might as well know. She's not making that money on the computer.

The goat and the Doberman also get their cut of the money, and those wading pools full of thousand island dressing have to be paid for as well.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:41 | 2570562 Temporis
Temporis's picture

So what your really saying is your friends mom is a whore who sells porn pictures of her getting plowed by 3 black guys, and occasionally a random farm animal.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:42 | 2570567 Terminus C
Terminus C's picture

Wow! my friends mom makes $1776 / hour dealing in silver certificate out of her basement.  She designs revolutionary software that destroys counterfeit money and gives the AIDS virus to bankers and politicians who touch a computer or cell phone.  The 99%ers are lining up for her guillotine package.  Read more here at www.revolutionsoonbitchez.com

 

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:47 | 2570605 PicassoInActions
PicassoInActions's picture

i understand that ZH does not moderate but this human trash should go.

Kick out the spammers.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:55 | 2570699 Jack Sheet
Jack Sheet's picture

no, w e do not read more here. Y o u fuck off.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:35 | 2570522 ChelseaAggro
ChelseaAggro's picture

It will be soon if the Germans play as badly in the second half.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:36 | 2570534 battle axe
battle axe's picture

The world is blowing apart and these idiots heading up Europe care more about F-ing soccer.....

 

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:46 | 2570579 Troublehoff
Troublehoff's picture

that's pretty bang on...

 

... i just got back from spain and i was amazed how cheap everything is over there now... seems quite deflationary - Perhaps that is the answer to this supposedely unworkable euro without fiscal union stuff... people in less productive places, earn less and pay less for local services... oh and default on debts that cant be paid...

 

...crazy idea

 

...but yeah - they were going mental for the football in spain.... many resturants and shops were empty

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 16:00 | 2570739 pkea
pkea's picture

She just doesn't know how else to explain to the boneheaded millionth time that THERE WILL BE NO EUROBONDS BACKED BY GERMANY....

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 16:12 | 2570820 bdc63
bdc63's picture

dead right.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 19:19 | 2571516 Crack-up Boom
Crack-up Boom's picture

but what if Spain says pleeez? 

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 16:53 | 2571062 LongSoupLine
LongSoupLine's picture

Italy won the soccer game and now Germany will say fuck you to ANY bailout in the future. Ha ha ha. This shit is fucked.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:29 | 2570486 fightthepower
fightthepower's picture

Germany can't win anything.  They can't win a war, they can win at football, but they can pay for other people's welfare.  Bend over Germany!

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:30 | 2570489 Robot Traders Mom
Robot Traders Mom's picture

Mario Balotelli is a modern day Jesse Owens.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:32 | 2570505 Clueless Economist
Clueless Economist's picture

Mario Balotelli, doesn't he run a chain of soul food joints in Harlem?

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:38 | 2570542 Joe Davola
Joe Davola's picture

I thought he was that croc-wearing dude on Iron Chef.  Not that I watch it, just what I've heard.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:43 | 2570585 Clueless Economist
Clueless Economist's picture

You watch it I know.  That obese red haired Irish looking dude with the orange crocs is actually really Italian dude.  Giada somethingorother

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:52 | 2570671 pods
pods's picture

Obese Irish looking dude should NEVER be said in the same breath as Giada.

Contributor help me out?

pods

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 16:40 | 2570788 robertocarlos
robertocarlos's picture

Gaida = Cooking deity.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:38 | 2570544 t_kAyk
t_kAyk's picture

I believe he is an obese 'Iron Chef'. 

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 16:31 | 2570929 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

Didn't he have to close those restaurants after he crapped on his clients (Wall Street) when he sided with the Occupiers?

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 17:45 | 2571283 falak pema
falak pema's picture

and Angela is Hitler at the Euro Olympics! 

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 21:00 | 2571803 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

falak pema said:

and Angela is Hitler at the Euro Olympics!

I've got a bad feeling about this.

http://images.nonexiste.net/img/irc/2011/04/20/Girl-Hitler-Front-Face.png

http://thejamminjabber.files.wordpress.com/2011/08/girl_hitler_hail.png

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