- advertisements -
Print, scam, print. Ponzi continuum 101.
Someone's got to lead the servants.
What do we the people need.
Machine guns. Yes machine guns.
Hmm. Maybe now we need spycraft tools. Yes spycraft tools.
Ok now we need solar energy and windmills for the servants so we have enough oil to continue carrying our machine guns where we want them. Save the planet!! I mean our oil supply.
The German Shepherd ate my homework
I need an accountant like the one Germany has, I wonder if he is taking new clients.
Where is Bernie Madoff when you need him. He could Ponzi the shit out of the European finances. As a matter of fact anyone of the same origins would be an expert to take europeans for all they have. Yet this type of scam was ERADICATED under the Fuhrer.
Using GAEAP, Generally Accepted Enron Accounting Principles, we have found ........
From each according to their ability, to each according to their needs.
"there's a disturbance in the Force."
"i've noted it too Emperor."
"It's a trap!"
LOOKIE, we just found a whole years worth of GDP in an old mason jar. We forgot to add our tax revenue for 2005 and 2006. Now back to work BITCHEZ.
Brings to mind the scene from National Lampoons Vacation where Russ asks Clark after getting busted swimming with a topless 'poolside waitress', 'Sure I believe ya dad dad, but do you think mom will buy it'?
I love the smell of €55 billion in the morning.
human nature is rotten to its very core, given the opportunity man will always find innovative ways to debase himself
The Elysee just released a statement that Sarkozy found a trillion euro bill underneath the presidential couch.
Timmy G. was just found between Janet Napolitano's cheeks, in which he proclaimed, "i'm never doing crack, ever again!"
Home run! Love it!!!
Yeah right where he bastardly impregnated his former justice minister Rachida Dati.
He was just explaining to her what inFELLATION means*
*She did actually make the confusion and let slip the word fellation in a TV interview.
No, Germany just found the extra money in the suitpants hanging in the closet. I mean in their old wallet.
Come on they just wrote up the CDS trigger that never happened. Wait, we'll see more sovereigns do the same. Dexia will be solvent when they write up that 'reserve'.
Oldie but goldie (I give this one USD 2000 per ounce):
There once was a business owner of a shaky German bank who was interviewing people for a CEO position. He decided to select the individual that could answer the question "how much is 2+2?"
The engineer pulled out his slide rule and shuffled it back and forth, and finally announced, "It lies between 3.98 and 4.02".
The mathematician said, "In two hours I can demonstrate it equals 4 with the following short proof."
The physicist declared, "It's in the magnitude of 1x101."
The logician paused for a long while and then said, "This problem is solvable."
The social worker said, "I don't know the answer, but I am glad that we discussed this important question.
The attorney stated, "In the case of Svenson vs. the State, 2+2 was declared to be 4."
The trader asked, "Are you buying or selling?"
The accountant looked at the business owner, then got out of his chair, went to see if anyone was listening at the door and pulled the drapes. Then he returned to the business owner, leaned across the desk and said in a low voice, "What would you like it to be?"
Thanks! EMP LSAT, Accountant. got it.
Obviously the Trader and the Attorney were very close runner-ups, but their correct answers would have been:
The Trader: "I'll give you 8 for that position, if you write me a CDS", and for The Lawyer: "In the European Commission vs. ISDA, the answer was deemed to be -4".
However, I am glad to report the tale had a happy enging:
- The Trader front-runned the trade with insider information, shorting the German bank, and made €1 billion "profit" and €200 million cash bonus
- The Attorney sued the Business Owner and got €10 million compensation for unfair treatment
What next? A butter knife into an upside down piggy bank? This suggestion from my 8 year old grandson!! Milestones
He sounds like an enemy combatant. Surely a lone wolf with repressed anti semetic tendencies. A family social officer of the establishment will be required to moderate your household in the future.
Sad but true, this is the world you are leaving him. Think about that shit.
That shi Bitchezzz. Thar fixed it for ya
SERIOUSLY HOLD THE BOAT
Next should we not ask (as if you couldn't see that coming, eh?) just what these derivative contracts were on, who the counter-party is and what the terms and conditions might be. Like are they worthless or money good Greek paper, after all, is the WorstMonkeyShinesGeshuntiteSchankerBank that found this shit officially part of or not part of the on the budget or off the budget official institutions role or not, like is the shit money good?
And for that matter, why in the world would we at this moment bother to think any derivative is money good? Or where we once thought the Greeks liars, the Italians sly, the Germans humorless and the French pussies, this lack of Germanic Precision leads Onkle HerrDoktor Knukles to say that there is Fuck All Nothing Left Worth Believing in the Whole Fucking EuroZone.
this is worthy of study, debt more than equity. maybe a bubble here?
"..after all this is merely the creation and destruction of electronic ones and zeros in the span of nanoseconds in one computer's random access memory.." - nothing a good EMP burst could not fix
It's like I'm going to shit on the world and there is not a fucking thing you can do about.
They may be able to ginger up a plausible cause by pretending to own a 56 million gold Perth mint coin. By applying fractional reserve central banking principles, 55 billion could easily be created out of thin air. This solves the mystery of misallocated funds and/or keystroke error.
Perth Mint Makes World's Largest Gold Coin
roughly one quadrillion in derivatives floating out there, the bulk of which nobody has any clue what they are, where they are, and what they are collateralized by,
everyday i m shuffling ( Ben brakes out in a melbourne shuffle )
Germany's upcoming slogan........
'On your Deutch Mark. Get set. Print!!!!!!'
Debt problems, bitchez.
A song that says it all
You must leave now, take what you need, you think will last But whatever you wish to keep, you better grab it fast Yonder stands your orphan with his gun Crying like a fire in the sun Look out the saints are comin’ through And it’s all over now, Baby Blue
The highway is for gamblers, better use your sense Take what you have gathered from coincidence The empty-handed painter from your streets Is drawing crazy patterns on your sheets This sky, too, is folding under you And it’s all over now, Baby Blue
All your seasick sailors, they are rowing home All your reindeer armies, are all going home The lover who just walked out your door Has taken all his blankets from the floor The carpet, too, is moving under you And it’s all over now, Baby Blue
Leave your stepping stones behind, something calls for you Forget the dead you’ve left, they will not follow you The vagabond who’s rapping at your door Is standing in the clothes that you once wore Strike another match, go start anew And it’s all over now, Baby Blue
thxz! here's the original ('65-ish):
Bob Dylan - It's all over now baby blue - YouTube
Yeah I have a different Dylan version to that one, already, and love it, I think I like Bonnet's version just as much though.
Maybe the US will find some accounting problems?...I bet they'd go the other direction though.
Oh, i bet there's a couple hundred billion floating around Iraq, it might be freshly printed but it's there just the same.
Here ya go! It's on like Donkey Kong
October 25, 2011
Sounds to me , Hypo RE holdings hired Timmy's old tax accountant.
Amazing what you can find when you look under the seat cushions!
In other news the Irish just found 100 tons of gold at the end of a rainbow!
More like "the Americans."
That's funny, because it just so happens that I lost €55.5 bn the last time I visited Hypo Real Estate Holding.
I wonder what the number for their "Lost and Found" department is...
But I notice that in a derivative world it's a lot easier to find the "errors" than the collateral.
What's really amazing is while looking for the electronic cash they found a treasure map to 300 tons of gold.
... with a big 'X' on 33 Liberty. They'll have fun getting it back to Germany.
I was wondering the same thing....
Maybe Timmah lost his NYFRB gold the same way he messed up on his taxes.
Tips: tips [ at ] zerohedge.com
General: info [ at ] zerohedge.com
Legal: legal [ at ] zerohedge.com
Advertising: ads [ at ] zerohedge.com
Abuse/Complaints: abuse [ at ] zerohedge.com
Advertise With Us
Make sure to read our "How To [Read/Tip Off] Zero Hedge Without Attracting The Interest Of [Human Resources/The Treasury/Black Helicopters]" Guide
How to report offensive comments
Notice on Racial Discrimination.