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Germany "Raises" €55.5 Billion, or 1% Of Its Debt/GDP Ratio, Thanks To Derivative "Accounting Error"

Tyler Durden's picture


As usual, the most surreal news of the day, perhaps week, is saved for Friday night, when we learn that Germany has magically raised over a quarter of its total EFSF obligation of €211 billion by way of what is essentially magic. The Telegraph reports that "Germany is €55bn richer than it previously thought because of an accounting error at state-owned bank Hypo Real Estate Holding. The mistake at "bad bank" FMS Wertmanagement, happened because collateral for derivatives wasn't netted between the asset and liability side, an FMS spokesman said. As a result, FMS will only contribute about €161bn to Germany's debt this year, down from €216.5bn in 2010." Another way of representing the error is that it is equal to a ridiculous 1% of the country's debt to GDP ratio. "Germany's 2010 debt-to-GDP ratio also drops, to 83.2% from the previous 84.2%, a finance ministry spokesman said." In other words, the modern world, best characterized by the imploding fiat ponzi, has discovered a way to raise capital (electronic, naturally) courtesy of CDS bookmarking errors. And now, we have seen it all.

Since money is fungible, especially at the sovereign level, the "unlocked" capital which fortuitously was in a favorable netting direction (and we can't wait to get our hands on the detailed explanation of just what the error was that resulted in €31 in 2011 and €24.5 billion in 2010 of additional "debt" issuance going to fund FMSW, also known as Germany's bad bank, and now effectively being unwound) can and will used to plug bad Greek debt shortfalls at any other wards of the state which has material exposure to bad debt. Such as partially nationalized Commerzbank, which as we noted yesterday by way of German FAZ, is dumping all of its PIIGS (and potentially US) bond exposure into a bidless market with the same urgency as US banks offloading subrpime paper in the summer of 2007, in order to preserve liquidity and raise capital. Most importantly, this is also money that amounts to over 25% of the German obligation toward the EFSF of €211. So while one can dream up ridiculous stories of €55 billion accounting errors, the reality is that the source does not really matter: after all these are merely electronic ones and zeros. And the next time Germany needs to "raise some electronic cash" to fund even greater PIIGS related shortfall, it will simply find even greater "accounting errors" which magically give justification to shift a liability to an asset, and thus validate what is effectively non-sterilized printing of euros at the national level! Is this merely an appetizer of things to come, and an explanation of how Europe will "fund" the hundreds of billions in capital shortfall once the PIIGS start falling left and right like dominoes, tipped over by what is now the Greek default of October 27, 2011? Of course not: certainly this is nothing more than an innocent accident (for €55 billion) and anyone claiming otherwise is a conspiratorial anarchist.

More from the Telegraph on this stunning development:

The ministry spokesman didn't directly comment on the accounting error, but said "the German government welcomes the substantial progress FMS Wertmanagement has made in reducing the portfolio it took over from Hypo Real Estate a year ago".


"In addition, it is positive that total assets, which include derivatives and hedging transactions, could be reduced by more than €30bn, or almost 10pc, compared with the 2010 results," the ministry spokesman added.

BBC has more:

The discovery was made earlier this month but only announced on Friday.


HRE faced a severe liquidity shortage in the wake of Lehman Brothers' bankruptcy in 2008.


The German government provided the bank with capital
injections of 10bn euros and liquidity guarantees amounting to 145
billion euros before nationalising it.

And the truly good news is that with roughly one quadrillion in derivatives floating out there, the bulk of which nobody has any clue what they are, where they are, and what they are collateralized by, it means that the world is free to find derivative-based "errors" which can magically fund well over two times the global debt which at last check was about $500 trillion. At the end of the day, no one is the wiser: after all this is merely the creation and destruction of electronic ones and zeros in the span of nanoseconds in one computer's random access memory.


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Fri, 10/28/2011 - 22:14 | 1823442 SGS
SGS's picture

Print, scam, print.  Ponzi continuum 101.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 22:19 | 1823455 Hephasteus
Hephasteus's picture

Someone's got to lead the servants.

What do we the people need.

Machine guns. Yes machine guns.

Hmm. Maybe now we need spycraft tools. Yes spycraft tools.

Ok now we need solar energy and windmills for the servants so we have enough oil to continue carrying our machine guns where we want them. Save the planet!! I mean our oil supply.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 22:24 | 1823465 Earl of Chiswick
Earl of Chiswick's picture

The German Shepherd ate my homework

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 22:37 | 1823520 jekyll island
jekyll island's picture

I need an accountant like the one Germany has, I wonder if he is taking new clients.  


Sat, 10/29/2011 - 06:38 | 1823633 LeonardoFibonacci
LeonardoFibonacci's picture

Where is Bernie Madoff when you need him.  He could Ponzi the shit out of the European finances.  As a matter of fact anyone of the same origins would be an expert to take europeans for all they have.  Yet this type of scam was ERADICATED under the Fuhrer. 

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 08:44 | 1824036 mikla
mikla's picture

Treasury error - collect $$

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 09:33 | 1824070 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

Using GAEAP, Generally Accepted Enron Accounting Principles, we have found ........

From each according to their ability, to each according to their needs.

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 11:34 | 1824193 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

"there's a disturbance in the Force."
"i've noted it too Emperor."

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 16:01 | 1824734 NumberNone
Sat, 10/29/2011 - 09:26 | 1824064 cowdiddly
cowdiddly's picture

LOOKIE, we just found a whole years worth of GDP in an old mason jar. We forgot to add our tax revenue for 2005 and 2006. Now back to work BITCHEZ.

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 11:24 | 1824182 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Brings to mind the scene from National Lampoons Vacation where Russ asks Clark after getting busted swimming with a topless 'poolside waitress', 'Sure I believe ya dad dad, but do you think mom will buy it'?

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 03:57 | 1823895 FinHits
FinHits's picture

I love the smell of €55 billion in the morning.

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 10:42 | 1824129 Raskolnikoff
Raskolnikoff's picture

human nature is rotten to its very core, given the opportunity man will always find innovative ways to debase himself

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 22:30 | 1823486 Unprepared
Unprepared's picture


The Elysee just released a statement that Sarkozy found a trillion euro bill underneath the presidential couch.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 22:40 | 1823527 sabra1
sabra1's picture

Timmy G. was just found between Janet Napolitano's cheeks, in which he proclaimed, "i'm never doing crack, ever again!"

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 08:56 | 1824040 MFL8240
MFL8240's picture

Home run!  Love it!!!

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 23:42 | 1823636 LeonardoFibonacci
LeonardoFibonacci's picture

Yeah right where he bastardly impregnated his former justice minister Rachida Dati.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 23:54 | 1823666 Unprepared
Unprepared's picture

He was just explaining to her what inFELLATION means*


*She did actually make the confusion and let slip the word fellation in a TV interview.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 22:40 | 1823528 jekyll island
jekyll island's picture

No, Germany just found the extra money in the suitpants hanging in the closet.  I mean in their old wallet.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 23:16 | 1823605 max2205
max2205's picture

Come on they just wrote up the CDS trigger that never happened. Wait, we'll see more sovereigns do the same. Dexia will be solvent when they write up that 'reserve'.

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 04:12 | 1823898 FinHits
FinHits's picture

Oldie but goldie (I give this one USD 2000 per ounce):

There once was a business owner of a shaky German bank who was interviewing people for a CEO position. He decided to select the individual that could answer the question "how much is 2+2?"

The engineer pulled out his slide rule and shuffled it back and forth, and finally announced, "It lies between 3.98 and 4.02".

The mathematician said, "In two hours I can demonstrate it equals 4 with the following short proof."

The physicist declared, "It's in the magnitude of 1x101."

The logician paused for a long while and then said, "This problem is solvable."

The social worker said, "I don't know the answer, but I am glad that we discussed this important question.

The attorney stated, "In the case of Svenson vs. the State, 2+2 was declared to be 4."

The trader asked, "Are you buying or selling?"

The accountant looked at the business owner, then got out of his chair, went to see if anyone was listening at the door and pulled the drapes. Then he returned to the business owner, leaned across the desk and said in a low voice, "What would you like it to be?"

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 04:25 | 1823905 Dicite justitiam
Dicite justitiam's picture

Thanks!  EMP LSAT, Accountant.  got it.

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 05:44 | 1823934 FinHits
FinHits's picture

Obviously the Trader and the Attorney were very close runner-ups, but their correct answers would have been:

The Trader: "I'll give you 8 for that position, if you write me a CDS", and for The Lawyer: "In the European Commission vs. ISDA, the answer was deemed to be -4".


However, I am glad to report the tale had a happy enging:

- The Trader front-runned the trade with insider information, shorting the German bank, and made €1 billion "profit" and €200 million cash bonus

- The Attorney sued the Business Owner and got €10 million compensation for unfair treatment

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 16:21 | 1824790 Dicite justitiam
Dicite justitiam's picture


Fri, 10/28/2011 - 22:50 | 1823554 Milestones
Milestones's picture

What next? A butter knife into an upside down piggy bank? This suggestion from my 8 year old grandson!!    Milestones 

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 08:53 | 1824038 Widowmaker
Widowmaker's picture

He sounds like an enemy combatant. Surely a lone wolf with repressed anti semetic tendencies. A family social officer of the establishment will be required to moderate your household in the future.

Sad but true, this is the world you are leaving him. Think about that shit.

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 14:10 | 1824505 strangeglove
strangeglove's picture

That shi Bitchezzz. Thar fixed it for ya

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 00:22 | 1823705 knukles
knukles's picture


Next should we not ask (as if you couldn't see that coming, eh?) just what these derivative contracts were on, who the counter-party is and what the terms and conditions might be. 
Like are they worthless or money good Greek paper, after all, is the WorstMonkeyShinesGeshuntiteSchankerBank that found this shit officially part of or not part of the on the budget or off the budget official institutions role or not, like is the shit money good?

And for that matter, why in the world would we at this moment bother to think any derivative is money good?  Or where we once thought the Greeks liars, the Italians sly, the Germans humorless and the French pussies, this lack of Germanic Precision leads Onkle HerrDoktor Knukles to say that there is Fuck All Nothing Left Worth Believing in the Whole Fucking EuroZone.


Sat, 10/29/2011 - 07:18 | 1823987 covert
covert's picture

this is worthy of study, debt more than equity. maybe a bubble here?


Sat, 10/29/2011 - 07:42 | 1823994 Azannoth
Azannoth's picture

"..after all this is merely the creation and destruction of electronic ones and zeros in the span of nanoseconds in one computer's random access memory.." - nothing a good EMP burst could not fix

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 09:09 | 1824050 trampstamp
trampstamp's picture

It's like I'm going to shit on the world and there is not a fucking thing you can do about.

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 10:16 | 1824110 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

They may be able to ginger up a plausible cause by pretending to own a 56 million gold Perth mint coin. By applying fractional reserve central banking principles, 55 billion could easily be created out of thin air. This solves the mystery of misallocated funds and/or keystroke error.


Perth Mint Makes World's Largest Gold Coin


Sat, 10/29/2011 - 11:41 | 1824196 peekcrackers
peekcrackers's picture


 roughly one quadrillion in derivatives floating out there, the bulk of which nobody has any clue what they are, where they are, and what they are collateralized by,

everyday i m shuffling ( Ben brakes out in a melbourne shuffle ) 


Sat, 10/29/2011 - 12:46 | 1824336 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture

Germany's upcoming slogan........

'On your Deutch Mark.   Get set.  Print!!!!!!'

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 22:14 | 1823446 JohnG
JohnG's picture

Debt problems, bitchez.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 22:18 | 1823450 Element
Element's picture

A song that says it all

It's All Over Now, Baby Blue

You must leave now, take what you need, you think will last
But whatever you wish to keep, you better grab it fast
Yonder stands your orphan with his gun
Crying like a fire in the sun
Look out the saints are comin’ through
And it’s all over now, Baby Blue

The highway is for gamblers, better use your sense
Take what you have gathered from coincidence
The empty-handed painter from your streets
Is drawing crazy patterns on your sheets
This sky, too, is folding under you
And it’s all over now, Baby Blue

All your seasick sailors, they are rowing home
All your reindeer armies, are all going home
The lover who just walked out your door
Has taken all his blankets from the floor
The carpet, too, is moving under you
And it’s all over now, Baby Blue

Leave your stepping stones behind, something calls for you
Forget the dead you’ve left, they will not follow you
The vagabond who’s rapping at your door
Is standing in the clothes that you once wore
Strike another match, go start anew
And it’s all over now, Baby Blue


Fri, 10/28/2011 - 23:28 | 1823618 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

thxz!   here's the original ('65-ish):

Bob Dylan - It's all over now baby blue - YouTube

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 23:46 | 1823640 Element
Element's picture

Yeah I have a different Dylan version to that one, already, and love it, I think I like Bonnet's version just as much though.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 22:18 | 1823453 data_monkey
data_monkey's picture

Maybe the US will find some accounting problems?...I bet they'd go the other direction though.

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 07:59 | 1824005 Mike2756
Mike2756's picture

Oh, i bet there's a couple hundred billion floating around Iraq, it might be freshly printed but it's there just the same.

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 10:51 | 1824140 unununium
unununium's picture

Here ya go!  It's on like Donkey Kong

October 25, 2011

Iraq War’s ’Missing’ $6.6 Billion Is Discovered in Central Bank

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 22:19 | 1823454 zorba THE GREEK
zorba THE GREEK's picture

Sounds to me , Hypo RE holdings hired Timmy's old tax accountant.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 22:20 | 1823458 Rob Jones
Rob Jones's picture

Amazing what you can find when you look under the seat cushions!

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 22:37 | 1823521 Aguadulce
Aguadulce's picture

In other news the Irish just found 100 tons of gold at the end of a rainbow!

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 23:50 | 1823657 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

More like "the Americans."

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 00:00 | 1823677 Pancho Villa
Pancho Villa's picture

That's funny, because it just so happens that I lost €55.5 bn the last time I visited Hypo Real Estate Holding.

I wonder what the number for their "Lost and Found" department is...

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 00:22 | 1823708 Amish Hacker
Amish Hacker's picture

But I notice that in a derivative world it's a lot easier to find the "errors" than the collateral.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 22:21 | 1823462 Hephasteus
Hephasteus's picture

What's really amazing is while looking for the electronic cash they found a treasure map to 300 tons of gold.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 23:18 | 1823608 i-dog
i-dog's picture

... with a big 'X' on 33 Liberty. They'll have fun getting it back to Germany.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 23:59 | 1823675 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

I was wondering the same thing....

Maybe Timmah lost his NYFRB gold the same way he messed up on his taxes.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 22:22 | 1823463 earleflorida
earleflorida's picture

we certainly live in strange times,... and i rather believe it's different this time-

"When your strange, Billions come-out in the rain,... when your strange?" 

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 01:03 | 1823768 Manthong
Manthong's picture

Breaking News!...   (AP Athens, GR) Sources close to the Greek Finance Ministry report amazing new developments that are likely to defuse the current Euro finance crisis and set Greece solidly on the path to stability and prosperity. Apparently an effort has been underway for the past several years to uncover ancient treasure and famed Greek scholar and adventurer, Jason and his team of Argonaut archeologists have returned with a reported 7,000 tons of Golden Fleece said to be worth over $400 Billion, just slightly more than the current total Greek debt. The fleece is said to bear markings indicating Celtic and Teutonic connections. The news has US stock futures pointing sharply higher for the market open Monday morning.

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 01:31 | 1823797 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

The fleecing is worth more than that.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 22:22 | 1823464 blunderdog
blunderdog's picture

I hope they're gonna pay taxes on that dough.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 22:34 | 1823508 Unprepared
Unprepared's picture

Magic mashrooms are tax-exempt if they are "donated" to poor bankers.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 22:25 | 1823472 oogs66
oogs66's picture

rally on garth

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 22:27 | 1823479 Kina
Kina's picture

... by way of what is essentially magic. The Telegraph reports that "Germany is €55bn richer than it previously thought because of an accounting error at state-owned bank Hypo Real Estate Holding.


Community Chest

Bank error in your favour: Collect €55bn

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 03:54 | 1823893 FinHits
FinHits's picture

Extra credit for Monopoly humor!


PS. I would give Greece: "Go to Jail. Go directly to Jail. Do not pass GO. Do not collect $200.", but sadly they are getting:

"you pass GO again, you receive another $200", infinitely. Apparently they have hand-made dice which only reveal "5 and 5" all over again when they race through the playing board untouched. Their playing piece is The Dog.


Fri, 10/28/2011 - 22:27 | 1823480 Capt. Ray
Capt. Ray's picture


"Hypo Real Estate Holding" ?!?

O, got it... Fridaynight Humor :D

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 22:31 | 1823489 Mister Minsk
Mister Minsk's picture


Fri, 10/28/2011 - 22:34 | 1823493 PulauHantu29
PulauHantu29's picture

I make mistakes like this all the time. Just the other day I "found" $2 Billion I did not count when I balanced my check book...imagine how surprised I was...funny, it was also on a Friday night....after a few Ouzos.....

Funny thing I couldn't find it when I sobered...ooops, I mean woke up the next morning.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 22:31 | 1823494 Conax
Conax's picture

And it's! it's back!


Fri, 10/28/2011 - 22:36 | 1823515 Hephasteus
Hephasteus's picture

Wayyy too funnny!!!

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 22:31 | 1823496 optimator
optimator's picture

I can just imagine what a full audit of the Fed would brigh to light!

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 22:38 | 1823524 Yamaha
Yamaha's picture

Just left over from Hitler. More at a Swiss bank......

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 22:32 | 1823499 Mutatto
Mutatto's picture

55,000,000,000 Euro's under the sofa cushions?

How Awsome is that?

Greece must be kicking themselves right about now....


Fri, 10/28/2011 - 22:32 | 1823502 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

Why is it all US accounting errors are ($50B) and never +$50B?

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 22:37 | 1823519 Unprepared
Unprepared's picture


|-$50B| = +$50B

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 22:46 | 1823547 blunderdog
blunderdog's picture

Well, we DID just find that $6 billion we thought we'd misplaced in '04.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 23:19 | 1823610 Hephasteus
Hephasteus's picture

Still no word of that 2.3 trillion congress was looking for right before 9/11. If they could find that. Oh wait it's in israel can't look there.

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 00:29 | 1823720 knukles
knukles's picture

Or that 900 million (? was that the right number or bigger) that the Fed palatized, flew to Bagrahm Air Base on USAF cargo planes and were turned around to Switzerland immediately thereafter.

Shoulda just sent a wire transfer and minimized the carbon footprint.  Not like gonna get caught, the Fed's not audited anyhow and they send money all over the fucking world every day.  (Hint hint)

Like when Timmah and the NY Fed originally said they had no records of what amounts of money were sent to whom to settle the AIG counter-party swaps. 

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 01:11 | 1823780 Hephasteus
Hephasteus's picture

Probably already blew that on IT just when they need a shitload of IT.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 22:33 | 1823506 Yamaha
Yamaha's picture

Funny - I just found 1000 extra rounds of ammunition in my basement. Don't know how it got there.

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 08:59 | 1824043 Widowmaker
Widowmaker's picture

Nobody saw it coming.

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 09:00 | 1824044 Widowmaker
Widowmaker's picture

Daily double

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 22:34 | 1823509 JupiterAndBeyond
JupiterAndBeyond's picture

Ok! Ok! I must have, I must have put a decimal point in the wrong place or something. Shit. I always do that. I always mess up some mundane detail.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 22:35 | 1823512 Kina
Kina's picture

Should make them all play this game:


Honesty Chess (dualing lie detectors)


Sat, 10/29/2011 - 06:26 | 1823953 saulysw
saulysw's picture

I have no idea what is going on there, but the compere has a wicked hairdo. It's bigger than his head, which is quite a feat.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 22:36 | 1823516 Arkadaba
Arkadaba's picture

Video killed the radio star:

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 22:36 | 1823517 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Let's turn the hands of time back to 2008 under a comedy setting. Yesterday, Europe has recently solved all financial obstacles. Without further adieus, connect the dots. BTW, all education loans are the next bubble to burst.

John Bird and John Fortune describing the mindset of the investment banking community in this satirical interview.  (Oldy but goody)

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 22:38 | 1823526 catch edge ghost
catch edge ghost's picture

That is the most awesome idea ever. Still I bet you're right, more awesome will surely follow.  It's a great time to be alive.

ima add this to the 6 billion that was found in Iraq if that's cool with everyone. sweet.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 22:41 | 1823532 Rynak
Rynak's picture

Did Hypo Real Estate by any chance had any recent dealings with GS?

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 23:52 | 1823662 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

if they did it wasn't pretty.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 22:41 | 1823537 rwl160
rwl160's picture

wwohh ho.. champagne and cavier for everyone..


Fri, 10/28/2011 - 22:46 | 1823544 Vuvuzela
Vuvuzela's picture

Greece found earlier this month 1.5 billion  now  Germany finds 5.5 billion due to an accounting error



Fri, 10/28/2011 - 22:46 | 1823545 sabra1
sabra1's picture

this was probably chinese dumb money program!

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 22:48 | 1823546 Seize Mars
Seize Mars's picture

What a crock of shit.

1) Accidental accounting error results in 55 Zillion existing that didn't exist before. M'kay.

2) French asshole Caviezel (or whatever) secretly loses billions trading delta one products. Forget about US mortgage losses. It was the delta one trader.

3) Oops! UBS asshole delta one trader secretly loses billions. No writedown of mortgage stuff! Ha ha!

By the way, somehow we aren't allowed to audit the Fed? How does that work?

Oh, and they'd like to make our healthcare their decision. Umm, alright. Oh, and by the way, they'd like to disarm us (after all, it was American guns driving the Mexican gangs, right?).

Well, what the heck, they are such good stewards of our public trust.


Fri, 10/28/2011 - 22:49 | 1823549 Rynak
Rynak's picture

Oh, by the way folks....

Guess why hypo real estate is stateowned?

Here's why.... it went bancrupt..... and got nationalized.....

semi-good idea in theory..... you know, buy them up, make them profitable again by force..... suck away profits to get back the bailout cash.... then reprivatisize them again.

...oh wait, did i hear that right? They "found" capital there, and are now GIVING IT AWAY to bailout other banks?

You mean, first the german population paid for the bank to become THEIR PROPERTY, and now that property is given away to bailout more banks?

This kind of stuff should be constitutiona.... oh wait, it is allready... according to german AND EU constitution..... whops......

Fire on assholes!

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 00:09 | 1823689 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

exactly. "this is not some bad bank." this a funding vehicle for bailing out as many German Creditors as possible from "the Greek Vortex"! TOO LATE!
Standing aside these "shenanigans" are the Credit Default Swaps--and they dwarf any of the "little games" being played here. Those things are ticking time bombs now that we know Europe couldn't even handle a single 5 billion dollar Greek "blip."

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 00:38 | 1823733 knukles
knukles's picture

"this is not some bad bank"

Fucking what laid the golden egg bank, more like it.


I give up.  It's all pretend, lies, fluff, propaganda, theft, high crimes and misdemeanors.
I mean we can't even get a fucking birth certificate right; no wonder we play Wack-a-Billions games globally and everybody just shrugs their shoulders...........

This is genuinely fucked.

There is no the end is nigh, we're already there!

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 01:46 | 1823817 Pain Train
Pain Train's picture

If you accept the basic idea that the system will do WHATEVER it has to do to sustain itself (as I think is pretty fucking obvious at this point), then you quickly realize that scams like this German accounting miracle are going to become more and more frequent as the system becomes more and more unstable. Changing rules and laws as they go, lying, feined confidence, deals upon deals that unwind in the end.


Finding 55 billion Euros under the sauerkraut will look blushingly modest before this whole thing collapses. 

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 10:12 | 1824111 WonderDawg
WonderDawg's picture

Pain Train is right, this thing will get even more surreal before the final collapse. I just shake my head now. It's like TPTB are so desperate that they don't even care how silly their bullshit looks. They're counting on the sluggishness of the general population to allow them to get away with this shit.

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 11:41 | 1824202 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

all books end the same way as all movies. they literally call it "The End."
It's time for a new book...but i agree this is an entire Continent and not New York that has ended. (we shall call it the New New York...and leave it at that.) The ending of "Europe" has consequence..."meaning" as it were...and therefore is worth "keeping an eye on." Great work ZH'ers. Next stop: "Over There."

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 22:52 | 1823557 Absalon
Absalon's picture

If you thought that maybe bank accounting standards were not a farce, now you know for sure that they are.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 22:53 | 1823560 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

holy wtf, batman?

germany has radioactive glow-in-the-dark unicorns that shit beemers!

keep drinking, tyler!  bizarro calls! 

from accounting. again

we have a bad bank bingo, BiCheZ!

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 23:11 | 1823596 BigDuke6
BigDuke6's picture

i'm thinking of ur unicorns slewie...

as i lie here appreciating the herb.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 23:35 | 1823629 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

bong-hai, 6!

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 22:55 | 1823563 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Scene where Pauly and Henry take over the guys Restaurant and milk it for all its worth before torching it for insurance money. Wash, rinse and repeat Government syle.

Goodfellas Restaurant Scene


Sat, 10/29/2011 - 00:11 | 1823693 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

It was AIG that we had to rescue immediately. Who will it be in Europe? Swiss Re?

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 22:57 | 1823567 Use of Weapons
Use of Weapons's picture

The US DoD has $2.3 trillion it can find. That'd be a great Christmas present.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 23:07 | 1823588 whoopsing
whoopsing's picture

It's all a hoax folk's

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 23:08 | 1823590 gwar5
gwar5's picture

It's funny that these errors are always in favor of the banks....  That anomaly, and the statistically rare figure of three fives ($55.5 Billion) might get you red flagged and audited as a cheat by the IRS in the non-banker world. 

Poetic justice demands Ireland, Spain, and Italy now find billions in derivative losses on their books to pass along 50% haircuts to their creditors. BAC might just pull something out of their asses now too. It's better than printing money.



Fri, 10/28/2011 - 23:43 | 1823637 malek
malek's picture

You don't think they might find an accounting error of €150bn to their disadvantage some day?

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 23:08 | 1823591 whoisjohngalt11
whoisjohngalt11's picture

HaHaHa that is Hilarious unless you are a German citizen............

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 23:32 | 1823623 BigDuke6
BigDuke6's picture

a german once told me the germans were the most intelligent people in the european land mass and their ancestors made up the backbone of the american mid west.


and thats why the wall street plutocracy made sure they were well diluted after WW2.

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 00:45 | 1823741 knukles
knukles's picture

Then it's just the maximum allowed snigger.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 23:11 | 1823595 Schmuck Raker
Schmuck Raker's picture

BERLIN | Sat Oct 29, 2011 2:48am BST

"Trichet says "crisis not over"-RTRS

"The quick and complete implementation of the decisions is now absolutely decisive," Trichet said.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 23:12 | 1823598 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture
Semi-annual OTC Derivatives Statistics (BIS)

(Extract from page 22 of BIS Quarterly Review, September 2011)

Stefan Avdijev

Recently, there has been a substantial amount of interest in the extent to which the category "guarantees extended" 1 of the BIS consolidated banking statistics on an ultimate risk basis could be used as a proxy for the credit default swap (CDS) exposures of various banking systems to individual countries. Several important caveats apply to such an approximation.

First, while the contingent liabilities of the protection seller of credit derivatives contracts are a part of the category "guarantees extended", they are not the only item included in it. In addition to CDS contracts sold by BIS reporting banks, this category also includes secured, bid and performance bonds, warranties and indemnities, confirmed documentary credits, irrevocable and standby letters of credit, acceptances and endorsements. Therefore, the fact that US banks, for instance, had $37 billion worth of guarantees exposures to Greece as of the end of Q1 2011 (Table 9E in the BIS Statistical Annex) does not imply that US banks had sold $37 billion worth of CDS protection on entities located in Greece.

Second, banks are not the only institutions that buy and sell CDS contracts. Other financial enterprises, such as insurance companies and hedge funds, also actively participate in the CDS market. As a result, not all CDS written on entities located in a given country are included in the category "guarantees extended" of the BIS consolidated banking statistics. Thus, US banks' $37 billion worth of guarantees exposures to Greece from the above example is not the correct ceiling on the total amount of CDS written on Greek entities by US institutions.

Third, in the category "guarantees extended" of the BIS consolidated banking statistics, CDS sold are reported at notional values, not at fair values. In order to illustrate that point, suppose that a French bank sells a CDS to a Spanish bank on $1 billion worth of securities issued by the Greek government. Suppose further that, at the time of reporting, the CDS has a positive fair value of $100 million from the seller's perspective (ie the French bank). According to the Guide to the BIS consolidated banking statistics, the French bank should report $1 billion (ie the notional amount of CDS sold) worth of "guarantees extended" to Greece.

Fourth, in the category "guarantees extended" of the BIS consolidated banking statistics, CDS sold are generally reported at gross (not net) values. To illustrate this, suppose that the French bank from the above example sells a CDS to a Spanish bank on $1 billion worth of securities issued by the Greek government and simultaneously buys a CDS on the same set of securities from an Italian bank. If these were the only two transactions the French bank engaged in during the period, it would report $1 billion (ie the gross notional amount of CDS sold) worth of "guarantees extended" to Greece, despite the fact that it has also bought a CDS on the same contract from a third party (in this example, from the Italian bank).

Finally, CDS bought by banks are not reported in the category "guarantees extended". Their treatment in the BIS consolidated banking statistics depends on whether the reporting bank that purchased the CDS contract owns the underlying security or not. Suppose that the CDS contract that the French bank bought from the Italian bank in the above example has a positive fair value of $100 million from the buyer's perspective (ie from the perspective of the French bank). If the French bank does not own the underlying security, it should report $100 million (ie the positive fair value of CDS bought) worth of "derivatives" exposures to Italy. If, on the other hand, the French bank owns the underlying security, it should report a risk transfer of $1 billion out of the Greek public sector into the Italian banking sector (ie on an immediate borrower basis, the French bank will report $1 billion worth of foreign claims on the Greek public sector; on an ultimate risk basis, it will report $1 billion worth of foreign claims on the Italian banking sector).

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 00:20 | 1823704 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

so basically "that 5 billion notional on Greek CDS" is in fact 50. That would make more sense. "They don't have the 50 billion." Which is still pretty bad--especially considering that it has 150 tons of gold sitting in that BIS as of 2007.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 23:18 | 1823599 Fibz
Fibz's picture

Nothing says desperation like "I just happened to find an extra 55 billion euros. No really, I did."

When do the American troops pull out of Afghanistan and move into Germany?

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 23:14 | 1823600 devo
devo's picture

Funny, the first thing I thought of was the Monopoly Community Chest.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 23:15 | 1823603 Bansters-in-my-...
Bansters-in-my- feces's picture

Make me fucking puke.


Fri, 10/28/2011 - 23:16 | 1823604 FischerBlack
FischerBlack's picture

And now, we have seen it all.


A bit premature. We still haven't seen a sovereign claim a decline in their debt to GDP ratio by way of a DVA on their blown out credit spreads. Actually, I can't believe we haven't seen this yet. I must have missed it.

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 11:49 | 1824211 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

"it's not a default. it's a bankruptcy." fill out form blah blah blah with notation hummina, hummina, hummina and add watermark "oofstonsile" to it. and that'll be 25 dollars for your filing fee. your claim has been noted sir. next please!

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 23:26 | 1823606 Threeggg
Threeggg's picture

Just out ! FMS Wertmanagement said it was using a bootleg copy of Quickbooks, downloaded on to a thumbdrive, from a torrent site, and you guessed it............they got it (thumbdrive) "on loan" from Timmay.

WTF ! just a little 55,000 million euro mistake. I bet Benny and the inkjets gave it to them so that they would STFU !


Sat, 10/29/2011 - 08:19 | 1824016 falak pema
falak pema's picture

see my comment above (or below) about the q-daffy caper.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 23:24 | 1823614 Esso
Esso's picture

"And now, we have seen it all."

Wanna bet?

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 23:25 | 1823617 devo
devo's picture

Someone make sure to notify OWS of's not going to go over well.

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 01:40 | 1823809 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

If they understand it. 

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 02:19 | 1823844 sitenine
sitenine's picture

Your point is on the mark.

However, OWS doesn't need to understand.

They just simply know something is wrong, and that is enough.

Morpheus said it best:

"Let me tell you why you're here. You're here because you know something. What you know, you can't explain. But you feel it. You've felt it your entire life. That there's something _wrong_ with the world. You don't know what it is, but it's a splinter in you're mind, driving you mad."

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 21:18 | 1825447 Hephasteus
Hephasteus's picture

Complex society flow chart from a member perspective.

Really complex relationships that no one really understands.

Me - family -work

 |                 | Fed government wtf

Doctor who poisons me (health care?)

Complex society flow chart from a sociopathic game maker perspective.






Fri, 10/28/2011 - 23:30 | 1823619 Threeggg
Threeggg's picture

These CDS's may have been the biggest deflationary backstop ever created on the planet earth, because the money to pay the claims hasn't even been printed.................................yet !

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 07:42 | 1823996 Freebird
Freebird's picture

Yes Egg. Poignant. Another glimpse into the future.

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 11:55 | 1824214 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

and they never will. THEY WILL BE FILED...but no claim will be made. It's now "an options market" and "the options are expiring...worthless" sort of thing.

THIS HAS CONSEQUENCES. THE BOND VIGLILANTES ARE MASS MURDERING EUROPE RIGHT NOW. Go ahead..."blow up another country." See what happens. I imagine they say "it's just Spain" or "it's just Italy." They even call them "PIIGS." As i've said before...i like pigs. We had one as a pet. They're highly intelligent too. And good at finding truffles.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 23:38 | 1823631 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

"....happened because collateral for derivatives wasn't netted between..."

governmentally accepted accounting gimmics bitchez

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 00:17 | 1823696 traderjoe
traderjoe's picture

What we call 'money' is most certainly not. It all exists in digital ones and zeros, all beholden to TPTB. And the funny part is how much people seem to care about getting more of it. The ultimate capture.

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 23:45 | 1823645 BoNeSxxx
BoNeSxxx's picture

THIS is why I read ZH... great dish Tyler(s)

Fri, 10/28/2011 - 23:56 | 1823668 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

In other words, the modern world, best characterized by the imploding fiat ponzi, has discovered a way to raise capital (electronic, naturally) courtesy of CDS bookmarking errors. And now, we have seen it all.

This is your pain -- your burning hand.  It's right here.  Look at it.

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 01:42 | 1823813 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

I leave this here so you can green or red arrow Mr Lennon Hendrix.

I will green this one. Thing is, the lie/lye has been burning for a while.

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 00:07 | 1823687 FischerBlack
FischerBlack's picture

When the story says 'collateral', is it referring to reserves? I ask, because collateral has to come from somewhere, and there's no way to hide the source of such a huge amount. Especially when €55 billion is due from some counterparty either because the bank posted too much on it's short positions or the counterparty posted too little. I don't think you're going to be able to hide a €55 billion collateral error in the European (German) banking system right now. But if the bank is supposed to reserve against net liabilities, and they screwed up the accounting (i.e., net liabilities is lower than they thought), it's possible they don't need to keep as much in reserve and that frees the asset up to be levered into loans to the EFSF. I mean, who knows, really? If any of this is true, it doesn't prove we're in the Matrix, but it does make one wonder.

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 00:45 | 1823739 knukles
knukles's picture

No... we're in a fucking matrix.  And it's up to each and every one of us to make sure that we stay fucking sane.

This is honest to God madness.
It cannot continue.

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 00:53 | 1823755 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

quick, k_nuk!

pull my finger!

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 00:59 | 1823765 knukles
knukles's picture

So you'll fart?
Pulling anyway.
But say, if you fart it means that we're not in the matrix right?

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 01:59 | 1823822 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

The more we try to figure it out, the more insane we become.

1. There is no way to pay back the debt.

2. We have already printed into absurdity, much printing has taken place that is not on the books. They are already printing as they please and just trying to come up with stories that we will buy so that we do not take their power away from them.

3. Every time there is a conflict between the a) the story and reality or b) the story and prior stories, they will change any story they please to smooth it over. They will lie to your face and tell you they are not lying (sociopaths).

4. They change the rules as they go along to make sure the outcome is favorable to them.

5. They do this with impunity because they think we are stupid.

6. The truth is so horrible that when we grasp it, we think we are paranoid, stupid, or out right nuts, and thus we go into a tailspin trying to figure it out again. 

7. The truth is so horrible that no one believes us when we tell them, and they reflect back at us that we are paranoid, stupid, or outright nuts, thus threatening our self concept and sending us into another tailspin trying to figure it out again.

Based on the above, all the stuff we try to do to figure it out will not work, and in fact, plays into their hands to drive us crazy.


A colleague of mine said it best, when, early on in the crisis, I told him that I was not the smartest person around and I did not understand why others could not see it. He said, "It's not about smart, MsCreant, it's about courage." I think he has this right. Those of us who participate here, and on other sites, have a great deal of courage. We are not so attached to the system that we are not willing to look outside the box. 

We need to stop trying to figure it out. That makes us deer in the headlights, even as the wreck is bearing down on us. 

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 04:27 | 1823859 i-dog
i-dog's picture

I don't know if this will help you at all, MsC ... but it is a very simple plot that has been a long time (centuries) in the making. It involves groups of people - working very closely together - who share an ideology that tells them they have a divine right to rule and that they're damn well going to rule ... whether we like it or not! But you don't need to buy into that bullshit.

They rely almost exclusively on lies, subterfuge and central planning ... which means I'm very confident that their plan is destined to fail, yet again. They will fail partly because central planning doesn't work, partly because very few of the educated classes will buy into their ideology, and partly because they can't even trust each other (which will become more and more evident as they get closer to realising their end game; it's already becoming evident in Europe).

They seem to be holding all the cards, but that is the purpose of their propaganda outlets - to engender cognitive dissonance and a feeling of helplessness ... a fear that they are all-powerful.

Well, we could stop them very easily right now simply by seceding from their contrived central planning and control 'Unions' and telling them to go whistle for their fraudulent debts ... and if this happens first in Europe, then their plans have been almost a complete failure already. Not that they won't regroup and start again, as they have done a number of times in the past, but at least, for now, their home base would be lost and we could begin to rebuild a planet, one state at a time, that respects individual communities, cultures and beliefs ... and trades in peace.

There are no new lands to be discovered and homesteaded, so we must - as a species - begin to learn to live with each other within and between the boundaries of each of our properties, communities and cultures. There is no other way.

So, order some more popcorn ... and be prepared to defend your own community from the predators. Fuck worrying about DC.

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 11:51 | 1824212 FeralSerf
FeralSerf's picture

<<There are no new lands to be discovered and homesteaded, so we must - as a species - begin to learn to live with each other within and between the boundaries of each of our properties, communities and cultures. There is no other way.>>

No, there is another way.  The American Indian genocide is an example of what happens.  Like the American Indians, we are many separately thinking tribes.  TPTB intend this to be so and use technology to ensure that this situation continues to increase.  

Like the American Indians, our families, our lives and our property will be forceably taken away from us.  Only a few will escape.  Most of these few will be destined to live on "reservations" aka concentration camps.

Welcome to the Brave New World.

Mon, 10/31/2011 - 04:23 | 1826797 Element
Element's picture

The ugly reality is the exact process, that MsCreant described above was laid out in some detail about 115 years ago, within the Protocols of the Elders of Zion.

Unfortunately, the truth of it is so vile that almost no one, without some courage and honesty, will read what they had planned, back then, and have done since. They detailed that they intended to create a massive web of lies and failed/contadictory Govt legislations, that made countries ungovernable, and for people to lose trust in these, and also create global financial chaos, and global wars. A plan so diabolical in intent, that almost no one would take it seriously enough, until it was far too late, and they gained control of everything, and turned everyone into willing slaves.

They have not changed either their AIM, or their tactics and strategy.

They're so vile they engineered WWII, simply to get further toward their final AIMS, and they massively succeeded, and made stunning progress via the mechanism of WWII, and that squall of violence allowed them to reshape the world's power structures, and institutions thereafter, and get up a State of Israel, backed by the world's biggest military and financial powers, controlled entirely by their captains, in the current TBTFs, and central banks, and infiltrated state-security apparatus.

That post-WWII process has now run its course, but it worked so well that they're in the process of engineering the next one, to try and solidify total global control.

There is NOTHING they won't do to get this.

They even stated within The Protocols that one of their main tools/tactics is to go further than others in violence and corruption, to do anything necessary, no matter how large-scale, and that those opposed to them would baulk at this, because they pre-decided to have no limitations to their potential action, thus believe they will always win-through to gain their aims, even when strenuously opposed by a majority.

If you haven't read The Protocols of the Elders of Zion I suggest you at least take the time to listen to them:

The Protocols in .MP3 (text to speech) audio:

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 16:58 | 1824892 TheGardener
TheGardener's picture

and `trades in peace` you should get copyrighted, 'cause it's the exact opposite of what kind of transfers are demanded under 'globalization'.

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 11:00 | 1824156 unununium
unununium's picture

Very well said MsC. 

Endured some friends laughing at the OWS protesters yesterday.  Talk about courage, those folks have it.

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 02:56 | 1823870 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

...well, it could work...  hahaha!

and, ms_C:  hi.  i read your earlier post re alternative law enforcement and it brought to mind an article by a UC santa cruz doctoral student in the occupy oakland activities

if you're interested: Oakland on Strike! » Counterpunch

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 13:34 | 1824442 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

I tried a number of times and could not figure out where you wanted me to look. I'll check back here today and see if you do to.

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 16:38 | 1824821 knukles
knukles's picture

Hi MsC.  Well stated above in your setting out of the points.  Um mhhh, like nothing I've ever seen before and kiddo, I been professionally riding in this rodeo for 45+ years. 
Nothing even comes close. 
I particularly like your piece about just as we understand it, we begin to doubt again as friends make us wonder.  Yup.  We begin to doubt our own sanity.  Coming to ZH daily is like that necessary touch with reality, for everywhere else we turn, we face the lies, deciet, PR, sales routines, alternative options, ulterior motives and propaganda.
Yes, propaganda.  Reading two great books right now with so much applicability to the current environment.  Bernay's Propaganda and Schier's Rise and Fall of the Third Reich.  And no, the latter is not being read nor meant here to be a political comment on today's environment, but simply is an example of what happens when men foreswear their rules of law for what appear to be necessary expediencies, that this time is different...
It's going to get very difficult.  We're already in the malestrom.  There is no when we get there.... for we've arrived.
We're just not noticing it as the changes are gradual, as prophesized by the Fabians.
We are loosing our very personal and societal souls to a godless, statist, unminding Leviathian, devoid of the mere basest of morals, ethics and character.  
The fabric of society is not coming unravelled, it lies in tatters.  And all the while, nobody cares for the pandering, kelptocracy, greed, pursuits of money, powe,r property and prestige take precedent cheered on by the people themselves at the behest of their leaders who they worship or revile according to changing the mists of illusion.   

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 12:00 | 1824234 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

the Bank for International Settlements has "RESERVES." "GOLD RESERVES" actually. "You know who" has "counter-parties." And "they're phucking Spain." Stay long silver. It might not go up much from here...but you'll feel good about yourself in the morning.

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 00:18 | 1823697 James T. Kirk
James T. Kirk's picture

Fiat money is to bureaucrats as pen and paper are to a science fiction writer. I mean, what is the fucking mystery here? This is not an "accounting error" that was discovered. They simply looked at their books, and decided to "think "about the numbers in a different way. This shit doesn't anger me any more. It just disturbs me.

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 00:51 | 1823749 JR
JR's picture

Sir Josiah Stamp, Bank of England :  

"Banking was conceived in iniquity and was born in sin. The Bankers own the earth. Take it away from them, but leave them the power to create deposits, and with the flick of the pen they will create enough deposits to buy it back again. However, take it away from them, and all the great fortunes like mine will disappear and they ought to disappear, for this would be a happier and better world to live in. But, if you wish to remain the slaves of Bankers and pay the cost of your own slavery, let them continue to create deposits."

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 12:02 | 1824238 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

that's a "bank" not a bureaucrat. bureaucrats get paid in fiat. you think they want that "Ponzi" to end? I hear the President has a "health plan"...

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 00:18 | 1823700 Mr. Lucky
Mr. Lucky's picture

Just like hitting the save button twice on ZH.

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 00:18 | 1823701 Mr. Lucky
Mr. Lucky's picture

Just like hitting the save button twice on ZH.

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 00:40 | 1823735 knukles
knukles's picture

I tried to green arrow you 3 times... but guess that shit don't work for us mortals.  We gotta play by the rules on the important stuff.

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 00:49 | 1823746 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

Two posts, two greens. 

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!