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Get A Citi Rewards Card, Buy Women

Tyler Durden's picture




 

When spending rewards dollars on things like knife sets, LCD TVs and restaurant reservations is just a little too 2011, here comes Citi to spice things up a bit.

Consumerist tries to make some sense of Citi rewards' incentives... and fails:

Is there no limit to what banking rewards programs will cover these days? Flights, hotel rooms, rental cars, electronics, women. Wait -- what?

 

Consumerist reader F. is a member of Citi's Extra Cash rewards program and saw they could earn 100 points just for taking this survey. But when F. got to this question about "What products or services are you considering purchasing using your Extra Cash?", they noticed that apparently Extra Cash can be spent on adult human females.

 

We're sending this to Citi, because we're pretty sure this isn't what the survey was meant to say.

Maybe this is a special Citi card only designed exclusively for bankers, in which case it would make perfect sense of course. We would imagine however that only taxpayer bailout cash would be used for female purchases. Anything less would just be uncivilized.

And here we were thinking that HFT trading was cutthroat: it seems that when it comes to differentiating yourself in the saturated credit card rewards industry it is a truly no holds barred nuclear war. And no woman will be spared... Or overpriced.

Finally, we hear "Politicians" was just below the fold.

h/t Josh Zumbrun

 

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Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:00 | 2682631 veyron
veyron's picture

Did someone manipulate the webpage?  The magic of "developer mode"

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:05 | 2682666 redpill
redpill's picture

This was supposed to go to the investment banking division, not the peasant consumers!

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:15 | 2682703 ihedgemyhedges
ihedgemyhedges's picture

Heed the advice of a man who has been married for a long time: You're better off renting..............

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:19 | 2682716 resurger
resurger's picture

hahaha +1

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:24 | 2682734 PhattyBuoy
PhattyBuoy's picture

If it flies, floats, or fucks ...

Rent it.

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:27 | 2682743 SheepRevolution
SheepRevolution's picture

Rent-a-Duck! Coming soon in a shopping-center near you!

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:28 | 2682745 Aziz
Aziz's picture

Buying women is nothing abnormal for the elite.

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:39 | 2682778 Popo
Popo's picture

...or for many of the rest of us  ; )

 

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 17:19 | 2682906 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

There is a difference between "bought" and "rented". But you're gonna pay, one way or the other.

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 17:34 | 2682929 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

The JPM/Chase cards give you points for leasing.

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 17:48 | 2682962 Agent P
Agent P's picture

Renting is a much better option.  I got my wife a Citi card years ago, only to find out my rewards points were always subject to blackout dates. 

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 18:18 | 2683020 nmewn
nmewn's picture

So this Citi rewards card is like an EBT card then? ;-)

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 18:52 | 2683077 wee-weed up
wee-weed up's picture

Gits me some ho's, bitches!

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 19:50 | 2683182 Doña K
Doña K's picture

Rome revisited

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 18:50 | 2683073 swamp
swamp's picture

And so you should.

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:51 | 2682815 Xibalba
Xibalba's picture

The brand new Presidential Black Card presented by Citi, exclusively for Secret Service Members, Politicians, and Banker Sugardaddies.  Buy women handpicked for your masochistic pleasure.  

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 17:09 | 2682838 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

.

 

"Finally, we hear "Politicians" was just below the fold."

 

There's a category for those with extra Citi cash that's labeled 'Politicians/Whores.'

I guess if you pay them enough they'll get whatever narrowly focused, highly specific & incredibly destructive (to the nation) legislation you want passed enacted, and then the sluts of D.C. will give you a rim job, Dirty Sanchez, or even toss your salad.

It's not as if some Senators and House Members are even so bold and brazen as to have prostitutes make house calls to their official, taxpayer provided, government offices.  /s

It's a felcher Congress.

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:55 | 2682832 magpie
magpie's picture

Long midgets

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 17:11 | 2682881 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture

 

 

Is it because women have that special place where U can swipe a card?

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 18:20 | 2683025 nmewn
nmewn's picture

That makes sense...its magnetic.

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 17:33 | 2682927 Agent P
Agent P's picture

oxymoron?

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:21 | 2682722 toady
toady's picture

The best part is that when you're done they leave.

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:24 | 2682735 Vashta Nerada
Vashta Nerada's picture

I hope that when they record the transaction, they use a descriptor like "other professional services"  or some such.

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 17:21 | 2682908 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

In the immortal words of Charlie Sheen, "I'm not paying to sleep with them, I'm paying for them to go away when I'm done sleeping with them."

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 20:48 | 2683315 Calculated_Risk
Calculated_Risk's picture

my buddy... "I'm not paying for sex, I'm paying for piece of mind"

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:39 | 2682777 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

Just stick to buying hotels ;)

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 17:09 | 2682875 Apeman
Apeman's picture

Thanks for the advice. I'm a renter but wasn't sure if I should keep renting or start looking around to buy. Guess I'll keep renting then. Renting makes me feel free. I can change my surroundings whenever I feel like it. Yaaaaaay renting.

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:22 | 2682726 eatthebanksters
eatthebanksters's picture

So what are you saying? Muppets can't buy women with their Citi rewards?

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 17:35 | 2682930 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

it's like kids who want a puppy to play with...
but you also need to concider that somebody needs to walk them,
feed them,
take them to the vet,
....
woman/puppies aren't just to play with.... big responsability you know....

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:30 | 2682753 Lost Wages
Lost Wages's picture

This is a legitimate question in certain parts of Asia and Nevada.

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:34 | 2682768 LoneStarHog
LoneStarHog's picture

This is for a Government Contract Card issued to the Secret Service.

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 17:05 | 2682863 midtowng
midtowng's picture

I'm sold. I'm gonna get myself a Citi card so I can buy some bitches!

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 17:37 | 2682935 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

buy them online! chinese are cheaper!! 2 for the price of 1!!!
the speech module isn't up to standard,
BUT WHO BUYS ONE TO LISTEN TO RIGHT?'

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 18:23 | 2683028 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Yeah, but the more ya eat the hungrier ya get!!!

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:00 | 2682634 Jlmadyson
Jlmadyson's picture

Pure gold!

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:17 | 2682708 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

Women, uhm.....bitches!

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:00 | 2682635 Badabing
Badabing's picture

All your woman are belong to us!

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:00 | 2682636 Dumpster Fire
Dumpster Fire's picture

Shouldnt it say Bitchezzzz?

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:01 | 2682638 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

Are they good at plough?

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 17:39 | 2682938 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

isn't that illegal since 2011?

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:01 | 2682642 101 years and c...
101 years and counting's picture

Citi gave me $550 in free rewards cards because of an errant email they sent when my application for credit was approved.

Thanks Citi!!!

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:01 | 2682643 Meesohaawnee
Meesohaawnee's picture

still hands down are larger source of capital destruction known to man. pussy

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:07 | 2682671 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Everyone around here talks about ASE's, Pandas, Maples... all that shit...

Wanna know something?... Stock up on JUNK (pre-64 Rosies, Mercury dimes, etc...)... Cause when TSHTF... That's what u may need to transact in these circles...

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:15 | 2682702 ATM
ATM's picture

They will all have value. The junk may be good for small transactions but then again maybe not. How many of the dumbshits you see around have any idea what a real silver coin is, let alone worth?

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:31 | 2682759 pods
pods's picture

I love the ping when one hits the table.  As a kid, I used to listen to the coin counter for the pitch of a silver coin.  Unmistakable.  

You can get bags of junk for cheap. They aren't pretty, but they are well known.  

Very good for transactions if things were to ever get bad.

pods

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:30 | 2682751 iDealMeat
iDealMeat's picture

That's total nonsense..  When TSHTF in any real way are you going to expect or "hope" that the local grocery store clerk is going to know the value of pre '64 coinage? Very few people do.. those that do know go to the net for current accepted average value based on condition..

What do you do when there is no normal internet to get value ?

 

Start saving regular change and convert as many FRNs to nickels.. It will weigh down your safe, and no one really wants that change yet anyway. When TSHTF! and no one can get FRN's from the bank your 'change' gets real, real valuable.

 

Keep the PMs and junk to yourself..  for the kids ;-)

 

 

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:35 | 2682769 pods
pods's picture

Well if/when TSHTF, there are not going to be any grocery stores.  At least not any that actually sell things.  Maybe bum/zombie housing, but the JIT delivery system is NOT going to hold up?

You would be surprised at how easy it would be for people to determine a value for exchange, and I would bet on silver rather than slug coinage.

pods

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:56 | 2682820 iDealMeat
iDealMeat's picture

"...I would bet on silver rather than slug coinage. "

I would too..  But, now you and your counter party need to know how to test for purity..

Slug coinage at face value removes that barrier..

 

Frankly, without Ben's furious printing and bubbling up the ponzi we're all screwed.

Prepared or not.

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 17:13 | 2682889 pods
pods's picture

I think that if we actually do start to get raw money printing that gets out into the economy that coinage, and to a lesser degree all currency will decouple from $$.

There is only so much cash, and even less coinage than digital dollars around, so decoupling is a distinct possibility.

Purity will not be challenged on junk silver for small purchases.  

Now, a larger gold bar for buying something big.  But junk silver will be fine.  

Of course, you might start to hear them being called "a real quarter."

pods

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 19:10 | 2683112 CptAwesome
CptAwesome's picture

Question: If TSHTF what big items are you going to trade gold bars for?  Who are all these suppliers that we are worrying about trading PM's with?  I guess maybe I am a bit confused but if the JIT delivery systems fail who is going to trade food for PM's and what other commodity besides shelter which no one is going to give away for any amount of junk or pretty silver coiniage will be more important?

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 20:34 | 2683266 JohnG
JohnG's picture

Trade a bar of gold for most of a state and all its utlities, with enough left over to pay enough people to run said utilities, then take payment for services in metal, food, booze, weed, and women.

It's the NEW AND IMPROVED barter system guv'na.

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:53 | 2682822 iDealMeat
iDealMeat's picture

dup..  oops..

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:38 | 2682774 CH1
CH1's picture

When TSHTF in any real way are you going to expect or "hope" that the local grocery store clerk is going to know the value of pre '64 coinage?

They'll learn. Desperation is a great incentive.

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:51 | 2682814 engineertheeconomy
engineertheeconomy's picture

Iphone already has an App for that...

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:44 | 2682792 NevadaMirage
NevadaMirage's picture

Nickel/copper alloy slugs for SHTF use? Who is going to think these have any value?

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 17:43 | 2682949 New_Meat
New_Meat's picture

maybe they'll be "fiat coins"? gotta have something to smooth out the barter. - Ned

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 18:08 | 2682998 Axenolith
Axenolith's picture

I think copper will have a higher value than most think in a SHTF scenario.  Based on stuff I've found detecting, copper used to be used to make/fabricate a hell of a lot of stuff at a local level, and I think a huge part of that was because it's easily workable in a cold state.  Little boxes, corner covers, boot rivets, small print plates, shims, bearings, crush washers, etc...  Copper pennies would be the be-all of commerce in something you can use to actually make and repair stuff yourself, they might even rival the .22 LR as the "dime of the apocalypse" lol...

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 23:19 | 2683666 The Navigator
The Navigator's picture

at iDealMeat

"What do you do when there is no normal internet to get value ?" re knowing the value for pre '65 coinage?

How about the free market?

Then, I can't follow your logic re saving nickels - you think people will know that a nickel has 75% nickel metal and 25% copper but won't know that pre '65 coinage has 90% silver? And that people will favor nickel metal over silver?

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 20:43 | 2683301 lasvegaspersona
lasvegaspersona's picture

check out recent charts of China's recent import of gold via Hong Kong...then compare that to recent silver imports....ya mean ya can't find any evidence of silver import...why is that?

 

...and that friends is the reason you should really think hard on this silver vs gold question...REALLY HARD

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:02 | 2682644 jmcadg
jmcadg's picture

If you scroll down the next option was Dirty Women.
Or was that the Goldman Sachs questionnaire?

Easy mistake.

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:02 | 2682646 davinci7_gis
davinci7_gis's picture

I'll buy that for a dollar!!!

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:03 | 2682651 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

My motto is... FUCK 'EM if they take plastic... (No ~ seriously, in this case)....

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 17:41 | 2682942 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

NO PROBLEM!!
JUST PUT YOUR CARD IN THE SLUT!

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:03 | 2682654 longjohnshorts
longjohnshorts's picture

Of course, the REAL issue here is that the Citi solicitation is so out of date, PC-wise. Where is the option of "MEN?"

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:49 | 2682805 LoneStarHog
LoneStarHog's picture

Barney Frankfurter will introduce legislation very soon regulating these surveys.

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 17:44 | 2682953 New_Meat
New_Meat's picture

Thank the gods, bawney fwank will be off for full-time with his duuuuuude as of January. - Ned

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 19:22 | 2683133 nmewn
nmewn's picture

I have it on good authority (Harry Reid) they're both closeted Chick-Filet fans.

When will they "come out"? ;-)

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:03 | 2682656 bugs_
bugs_'s picture

Secret Service

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:04 | 2682657 rockraider3
rockraider3's picture

Finally! 

Now I have a way to curb my wife's spending.  "Hey baby, if you keep spending money on crap we don't need, soon I'll be able to afford to buy some women with our reward points."

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:07 | 2682673 resurger
resurger's picture

Do they have FedEx delivery?

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:51 | 2682817 LoneStarHog
LoneStarHog's picture

Yes, but explosive materials must ship FedEx Ground with proper labeling.

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:08 | 2682680 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Sign rockraider3 up (& give him a bonus)!...

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:14 | 2682698 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

   +1 Funniest post of the day.

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:42 | 2682781 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

Maybe she'll surprise you and start spending more!!
"Honey, look what I picked up at Bloomingdales for us today!"
;-)

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:03 | 2682658 the iD
the iD's picture

bitchez?

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:04 | 2682659 resurger
resurger's picture

Blonde, Asian, Black, Latino, Brunette, Middle Eastern, European,

Yummy!

 

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:16 | 2682706 ATM
ATM's picture

But not in that order.

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 19:21 | 2683132 Blano
Blano's picture

God I hope you mean LatinA.

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:05 | 2682661 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Truth is stranger than fiction.  Those female bankers are going to be pissed, "men" are still a niche market apparently.

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:21 | 2682720 rosiescenario
rosiescenario's picture

The lesbians, not, but the gays, yes.

 

Clearly Citi made very non-PC error here....highly insulting to straight qomen and gay men.

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:05 | 2682663 AccreditedEYE
AccreditedEYE's picture

It was only a matter of time...

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:05 | 2682664 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

Maybe soon they'll be able to send money to Al-Qaeda with their CITI card.

http://www.rt.com/news/syria-rebels-us-donations-997/
Washington green-lights American donations to Syrian rebels

The US government has permitted its citizens to start donating money to Syria’s opposition, paving the way for direct help from US nationals to the rebel fighters.

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:08 | 2682678 magpie
magpie's picture

When (if) they come back, i hope they will be deployed in Frankfurt and Brussels, not to say London, Paris and Rome.

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:25 | 2682737 Nadaclue
Nadaclue's picture

Please note that Donating to the Syrian Free Army will place you in violation of "Providing material support to designated terrorist groups". This will get you NDAA'd.

Obummer should be in the slammer under his own dictat.

 

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 18:44 | 2683060 Diet Coke and F...
Diet Coke and Floozies's picture

WTF

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:05 | 2682665 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

It is only a matter of time before they feel comfortable enough to put "politicians" on that list of things bought.

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:06 | 2682667 WAMO556
WAMO556's picture

Even women (hot adult females with no tan lines,, not the 300 pound behemoth's whose favorite hobbies are popping zits and walking in the refridgerator) will become a commodity in the near future. All ready seeing it now, when 4 women offered to be my live in nanny with payment in room and board. Just saying.

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:23 | 2682733 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

Really? People are that desperate?

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 19:25 | 2683137 Shizzmoney
Shizzmoney's picture

It is funny to know if we keep going on the path we are on, will wealth be the new de facto "attraction" alpha male trait.  It's already strong now, as evidenced by 70 year old men dating 20 year olds. 

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:06 | 2682668 Jlmadyson
Jlmadyson's picture

Man look at that stock market.

Real trading ain't the last minutes anymore Tyler. They getting down to an art in seconds.

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:08 | 2682679 resurger
resurger's picture

Insiders are selling, something is cooking.

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:07 | 2682675 Zola
Zola's picture

Isn't that how things work anyway ? Many women are venal creatures -money does buy them. There are of course some exceptions to this rule but less that you think, esp for very beautiful women.

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:07 | 2682676 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Is there a catagory for loose women who don't want to cuddle afterwards?

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:21 | 2682723 ATM
ATM's picture

I think they are categorized as "Most Desirable".

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:09 | 2682681 Stackers
Stackers's picture

I spent $76,520 on hookers, booze and dancers ...., but mainly on hookers

Margin Call

http://www.traileraddict.com/clip/margin-call/hookers

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:23 | 2682728 rosiescenario
rosiescenario's picture

......and the rest of the $100,000 I wasted.

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 17:45 | 2682954 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

on a porche...

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 21:38 | 2683456 engineertheeconomy
engineertheeconomy's picture

$100,000 Porsche

Best investment in pussy you could ever make

( I just might know a little bit about that :)

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:10 | 2682684 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

Hoochies!!!!!!!

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:10 | 2682685 Tinky
Tinky's picture

Par for the course.

When my father died, it took Fidelity two business days to transfer his Trust account into a newly created one in my name. Citibank? Five hellish weeks.

The left hand didn't even realize that there was a right hand...

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:10 | 2682686 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

Must be the localized survey for Saudi Arabia.

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:12 | 2682693 dunce
dunce's picture

Imagine someone stealing your identity and buying a sex orgy, the owner stops payment and a pimp shows up at your door. He will believe your story in a minute , apologize and leave. Sure he will. Actually in my youth i took some comfort in Nevada and though i paid cash they did take credit cards.

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:18 | 2682694 Jlmadyson
Jlmadyson's picture

Treasury burned through 25 billion on Friday....

Ugh, coincidence with Knight flailing....

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:15 | 2682699 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

A man stands on a street corner with a sign.  He is begging.  The street is dirty, dry, and dusty.  Behind him huddle two young women.  A man in a dark hat and dark suit aproaches them.

"How much for your women?"  He asks in a deep and gruff voice as he stands before them.

The man looks up with an expression of desperation.  "These are my daughters, man!"

"How much for your daughters?"

Next we see the man in the suit ride off on a large horse with both the women on the back.  The man with the sign sits with his head buried in his knees.

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:18 | 2682710 BlackholeDivestment
BlackholeDivestment's picture

...the Whore of 666 Citi of Babylon ain't no mystery now ...bitchez. U.N.believable.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZ97wzMOOS0

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:23 | 2682715 reader2010
reader2010's picture

Consumption is the patriotic duty that is only legal by now. Please buy evething local, includng the local pussies. To be patriotic, I have always consumed my local beer and local women. May the Force be with you!

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 21:44 | 2683473 engineertheeconomy
engineertheeconomy's picture

Any red blooded American male would step up to the plate and hit a homerun for the red, white and blue

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:21 | 2682717 Herdee
Herdee's picture

Should add another category for New York Banks to include Iran.Would you care to launder money for a British Bank?Yes or No?Can I re-route the money through the New York office?Take a look on Forexfactory for the story or go to the New York Times.The news story is by Jessica Silver-Greenberg and published on August 6/2012.Titled "British bank Accused of Hiding Transactions with Iranians"The Bank is named Standard Chartered Bank and the sums total over 200 Billion over ten years.Need support for your nuclear program Iran?No problem,London and New York need the transaction fees.The criminal masterminds that run these Banks launder a lot more than just dope money.Think anyone will go to jail?Na,not a chance,just add another box to check for sending money to Iran,and make it so that it's bigger and right under the noses of corrupt American politicians and in plain sight to boot.

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 18:14 | 2683015 Haager
Haager's picture

Oh, in Iran they go to jail - or worse. Just recently...

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:21 | 2682725 FinalCollapse
FinalCollapse's picture

Can I get one free for each paid with my Citycard?

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:23 | 2682729 SheepRevolution
SheepRevolution's picture

I didn't buy that woman. Someone else did.

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:28 | 2682747 engineertheeconomy
engineertheeconomy's picture

You didn't Tap that...

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 17:47 | 2682960 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

if you keep the pricetagd on, you can always return them

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 21:47 | 2683485 engineertheeconomy
engineertheeconomy's picture

Usually they're understanding if you explain that it didn't fit just right, and they'll let you exchange it for a different one

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:23 | 2682730 firstdivision
firstdivision's picture

Must be for their Saudi peninsula customers only.

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:25 | 2682736 PSEUDOLOGOI
PSEUDOLOGOI's picture

This must be fake cause I don't see "blow" (aka coke) on that list of choices.

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:26 | 2682742 Fred Hayek
Fred Hayek's picture

Past a certain point of candor all the romance goes out of things. Is Citibank a foreplay free zone or something?

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:29 | 2682750 engineertheeconomy
engineertheeconomy's picture

You didn't tap that...

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:31 | 2682757 Joe Davola
Joe Davola's picture

Up front costs are typically small compared to the high-maintenance fees.

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:32 | 2682758 Meesohaawnee
Meesohaawnee's picture

just like this market . .none are buy and hold just swing trade them. capital destruction at its utmoast

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:33 | 2682762 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

dear citi,

 

how do you plan to spend your bonus?:

 

hookers

blow

yacht

congreffcritter

other

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:33 | 2682763 loveyajimbo
loveyajimbo's picture

Dang!  Is this going to make the price os a good BJ go up??

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:34 | 2682767 Hal n back
Hal n back's picture

do we still get mileage on American.

 

 

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 17:46 | 2682958 sessinpo
sessinpo's picture

Are you looking for a woman with frequent flier miles?

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 18:26 | 2683027 Oldrepublic
Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:36 | 2682770 Divine Wind
Divine Wind's picture

 

 

Can I cash in my reward points for PMs?

Perhaps some of those small trade gold bars?

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:38 | 2682773 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Can I use my Citi Rewards dollars to buy the COCAINUM? COCAINUM!!!! - YouTube

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:38 | 2682776 Walt D.
Walt D.'s picture

They also give you a T-Shirt -"I got screwed by CitiBank".

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 18:34 | 2683012 Oldrepublic
Oldrepublic's picture

What about "I was Corzined by MF Global."

 

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:42 | 2682786 sadpanda
sadpanda's picture

I like borrowing money at zero percent off those dumb asses. To stack silver and lead. May as well add bitchez!

 

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:43 | 2682788 pd45
pd45's picture

Hmmm, seems developers at Wall Street  firms are having rough time of late..

 

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:43 | 2682790 sessinpo
sessinpo's picture

I'm gonna wait till I get a Groupon discount on women.

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:45 | 2682793 Ignatius J Reilly
Ignatius J Reilly's picture

What products are you considering purchasing  with your extra cash?

 

Bath salts?

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:48 | 2682801 youngman
youngman's picture

I live in COLOMBIA..I can use that......but I wonder where you swipe it....

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 17:02 | 2682855 FinalCollapse
FinalCollapse's picture

At Point of Sale of course...

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 18:38 | 2683049 Oldrepublic
Oldrepublic's picture

too bad, so sad for the secret service that she didn't have one in Cartagena

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 18:58 | 2683089 hardcleareye
hardcleareye's picture

ughhhh groan..... sick fuckers lol

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:53 | 2682812 Racer
Racer's picture

Why do they have a selection to only buy women? Citi already OWN women ... and... men ... in debt slavery,

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 16:56 | 2682835 FubarNation
FubarNation's picture

I want Peggy

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 17:24 | 2682914 Money 4 Nothing
Money 4 Nothing's picture

I'm suprised there isn't a chck box for cocaine.

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 17:31 | 2682923 Dark Space
Dark Space's picture

what is this doing on zerohedge? Keep the funny internet typos to facebook or dealbreaker, along with pictures of cute puppies and your fat family.

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 18:24 | 2683010 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

I hear you.

I'll take your bait and argue why it is worth our attention. 

We spend a lot of time here debating who is doing what and who is responsible for what. I typically argue it is the culture rather than overt conspiracy myself, for instance. Common interests yield groups of folks who support each other in a sort of flying by the seat of the pants, ad-hoc, kind of thievery. 

But, this kind of thing, or the post that argued that the Knight algo was a test program that was allowed to run loose on the NYSE, or the regulators that don't seem to be understand how to regulate; it would seem that gross incompetence is just as responsible for our plight as is the structure of the financial system and the culture of the individuals inhabiting it.

Said another way both thieves and dumbasses are free to do whatever the fuck they please because no one is holding them accountable. This "Survey Question" is the result of an unedited dumbass allowed free reign. Theft is the result of an unchecked cleptocracy that has gotten out of hand. The test algo that got loose was another instance where something was "unchecked." 

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 18:55 | 2683082 hardcleareye
hardcleareye's picture

Great response!

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 17:48 | 2682961 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Citi still has morals: Adult women.

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 17:58 | 2682976 lasvegaspersona
lasvegaspersona's picture

more bad investment advice from the Citi, yer better off in PMs or even equities

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 18:52 | 2683074 swamp
swamp's picture

So glad I stayed unmarried. Phew the pool of 'men' is a cesspool.

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 19:08 | 2683107 Lumberjack
Mon, 08/06/2012 - 19:12 | 2683116 whoknoz
whoknoz's picture

We could start our own alternative currency with junk silver quite easily...just offer it in lieu of paper, and because those doing so would understand that the "official" price is manipulated, people would figure out what "premium" would work best based on fractional spot values and anticipation of rising silver prices...I do this now in my store where we buy gold and silver: if someone has junk coins I'll accept them for goods at a higher ratio than just scrap...if enough of this true commerce was taking place, then it would have an effect on silver spot as bullion houses would have to raise prices to cover against a domestic carry trade...several states have passed laws making silver and gold legal tender (no tax on gains) and this idea should see a lot of support from here forward...an old silver dime is a beautiful thing and could easily evolve into a replacement for one of those cheesy $5 dollar bills...

...keep buyin' and keep sellin'...we can make a difference...

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 19:19 | 2683127 Henry Hub
Henry Hub's picture

"Prostitutes are great. You call them up. They come over. You have sex with them. You pay them .They leave. Prostitutes are great." - Woody Allan

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