The Global Central Banker Directory

Tyler Durden's picture


If there's printing going on in your neighborhood

Who you gonna call?


If a loaf of bread costs a trillion bux

Who you gonna call?


The Newer New Normal in paper destruction has arrived, and Benny and the Inkjets will soon learn that the one response to open-ended CTRL-Ping and implied $85 billion in new Flow each and every month by one central bank is open-ended CTRL-Ping and comparable flow amounts from every other central bank. Because in the global FX destruction race all one needs is a printer and the eagerness to embrace hyperinflation. Which naturally leads always and every time to just one outcome. So when readers are unsure whom to call and thank for the opportunity to exchange a wheelbarrow of cash for a loaf of bread, we suggest keeping the attached full directory of global central banks and their employees, courtesy of the BIS, handy.

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Sat, 09/15/2012 - 15:48 | 2799087 FOC 1183
FOC 1183's picture

And here I was, wondering what to do with the rest of my weekend

Sat, 09/15/2012 - 15:51 | 2799092 Careless Whisper
Careless Whisper's picture

The Careless Whisper Saturday News Update & Threadjacking


NY Times: JP Morgan Investigated For Possible Drug Cartel Money Laundering

PIC OF THE DAY: Apple's New 100 Acre Solar "Farm" In North Carolina, USA

Martha Stewart InterActive Map Of Best American Made Products; Each Offers "My American Made Story"

Rachael Maddow Spends 3 Minutes Explaining That He's Not Gay; It's A Crazy Conspiracy Theory





Sat, 09/15/2012 - 15:54 | 2799097 Sam Clemons
Sam Clemons's picture

"Or one may say that there were no real human villains; that given the economic and political cues, actors would have been in the wings to come on and play the parts which circumstances dictated.

Certainly there were many others as reprehensible and irresponsible as those who played the leading roles. The German people were the victims. The battle, as one who survived it explained, left them dazed and inflation-shocked.

They did not understand how it had happened to them, and who the foe was who had defeated them."
-- Adam Fergusson, When Money Dies: The Nightmare of the Weimar Collapse

Sat, 09/15/2012 - 16:07 | 2799112 strongband
strongband's picture

Don't cross the streams.

Sat, 09/15/2012 - 16:18 | 2799130 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

If you go to the Rachel Lesbian Maddow website you'll see a picture of Obama and his gay Paki lover on the couch. Even back then the asshole was looking down his nose at everybody.


The dude's obviously gay as this photo proves: Obama Is Gay

Sat, 09/15/2012 - 16:26 | 2799149 Phillips Capital
Phillips Capital's picture

ZH readers: Please read this article, you will die!!!! Tyler: you should repost this.

So perfect!!! 

Sat, 09/15/2012 - 16:33 | 2799158 Michael
Michael's picture

You can find out where they live and what their places of residence looks like too.

Google Earth. Get your Free program Today.


Sat, 09/15/2012 - 17:13 | 2799251 AldousHuxley
AldousHuxley's picture

"Those who have been found out laundering criminal money should probably be barred from staying in the banking profession for life. Such people disgrace the banking system."

Andrey Kozlov ....central banker Russia....assassinated in 2006 days after the above speech



Venel Joseph....central bank governor of Haiti....assassinated in march 2012

He had agreed to cooperate with authorities probing an alleged multimillion-dollar bribery and money-laundering scheme involving two Florida-based telecommunications companies and former officials at Haiti's state-run telephone company,


wonder why there are no good bankers?


Sat, 09/15/2012 - 17:29 | 2799288 WTFx10
WTFx10's picture

Blood thristy Muslims at the BIS?

Sat, 09/15/2012 - 17:41 | 2799311 Careless Whisper
Careless Whisper's picture

Muslims (maybe not) Release VIDEO Making Fun Of NY Yankees 2012; Could Cause Riots In The Bronx


Sat, 09/15/2012 - 18:21 | 2799341 LULZBank
LULZBank's picture

Muslims should make a movie denying Hollow-cause... could get the party in full swing real quick.

Sat, 09/15/2012 - 18:25 | 2799368 AldousHuxley
AldousHuxley's picture

just air movie DEFAMATION



Sat, 09/15/2012 - 18:40 | 2799391 saturn
saturn's picture

If a loaf of bread costs a trillion bux

Who you gonna kill?


Sat, 09/15/2012 - 22:56 | 2799798 aint no fortuna...
aint no fortunate son's picture

I wonder what would happen if a couple hundred people started faxing their local telephone directories to that fax machine in the Chairman's office?

Sat, 09/15/2012 - 18:22 | 2799365 LULZBank
LULZBank's picture


Getting very bold my friend ;)

Sat, 09/15/2012 - 16:41 | 2799159 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

I may be roundly criticized by many here for writing that which I am about to, but it needs to be written by someone.

I'm receptive to any and all counter-factuals rebuttals.

I do not believe I've ever witnessed a greater divergence in reaction or interpretation between what The Fed, whether through Bernanke or Greenspan (or whomever else) has announced, and the kneejerk reaction of markets and of the media "analysts."

The latest FOMC announcement of MBS bond purchasing was a near-nothing burger for the following reasons:


1)  The Fed is buying 40 bln in MBS  (mainly from the GSEs) monthly going forward.  How many have mentioned that the Fed HAS ALREADY BEEN PURCHASING 25 BLN IN MONTHLY MBS FOR QUITE A WHILE?


Result? Another 15 billion in GSE MBS purchases monthly.


2)  The 45 bln of treasury note purchases the Fed "announced" is already taking place as part of "Operation Twist." These are STERILIZED bond purchases that are made by selling/liquidating existing treasury bonds the Fed previously purchased, and are conversely NOT PURCHASES EXPANDING THE FED'S BALANCE SHEET.


Result? Compared to the previous period, none (unless one views a few basis points of possible flattening at the long end of the yield curve significant).


3)  Bernanke did a lot of jawboning about somewhat slightly higher tolerance for slightly higher inflation for slightly longer periods of time as part of what some analysts (COUGHweisenthalCOUGH) claim is a broad, revolutionary, sweeping new re-balancing of the Fed's "mandate," when in reality, there's absolutely NOTHING NEW HERE, as The Bernank has made similar remarks MANY times before.


Result?  Blah, blah, blah...jawboning, yammering & talking into the wind.



It is no exaggeration to say I am shocked at just how many people & sources, but more importantly, some people and sources that I consider intelligent/credible, discuss and interpret this latest FOMC announcement as if it were a capital 'B' Bazooka, when in reality, it's far closer to one of the toy pistols with the flag that pops out with "Bang!" written on it.

If one thinks about the actual MATH & NUMBERS that flow as a result of The Bernank's latest scheme, it's not very noteworthy.

If The Bernank's intentions were to provide some additional (but modest) support to the extremely sick GSEs like Fannie & Freddie,*** while TRICKING THE MARKETS INTO SIGNFICANTLY BOOSTING THEIR INFLATION EXPECTATIONS***, he pulled off a master stroke (at least based on initial reaction).

I genuinely believe the 2nd "Big Short" of risk-on assets has now been firmly & deeply set up, with the last one obviously being more focused on the bursting of the housing bubble in 2007 which then caused wider, downstream, adverse consequences, and with the impeding one being more broad-based and of greater duration.

Sat, 09/15/2012 - 16:59 | 2799219 Michael
Michael's picture

Complete and Total Worldwide Economic Collapse 2012

Matchbox Twenty - Back 2 Good (Video)

Sat, 09/15/2012 - 17:41 | 2799313 AldousHuxley
AldousHuxley's picture

FED operates under

taylor rule (simplied) and perhaps Mankiw rule:


Federal funds rate = 8.5 + 1.4 (Core inflation - Unemployment).

when blue line is under zero, Fed will print.

If rate is 0, and Fed still needs to print, then they will do QE.


We don't even need bernanke for this. Any DOS computer can set the rate to "right" terms.

Sat, 09/15/2012 - 17:18 | 2799263 Poor Grogman
Poor Grogman's picture

I like your take on this.

Something just doesn't feel right about it at all.

As central bankers, illusion is everything, if they destroy the USD they are out of a job and possibly will find themselves at the mercy of an angry lynch mob.

Controlled deflation with just enough raised inflation expectations to get the speculators to move some of that hot money and leverage up into R/E therefore pulling forward some demand thus helping banks balance sheets.

They desperately need and want another bubble. that everyone is long PMs what a good time for the bankers to have some fun with the paper bugs?

Sat, 09/15/2012 - 17:22 | 2799267 Careless Whisper
Careless Whisper's picture

@ Michael

Dutch Bilderberg member openly says that everyone who attends, agress to uphold "the Bilderberg Code".

(from WeAreChange)

Sat, 09/15/2012 - 17:48 | 2799302 Michael
Michael's picture

Those We Are Change Holland people and all WAC people are fucking awesome. "Bilderberg Code" indeed.


On another note, I don't think the CIA, Mossad, and MI5 will ever again be able to pull of the shit they did to the Muslim world, the American people, and the rest of the planet ever again.

See what they did weekend viewing assignment;

Primmer video I made to this series;

The Precautionary Principle Who Benefits?

The Power of Nightmares, (Part 1/3), "Baby it's Cold Outside"

The Power of Nightmares Part 2: The Phantom Victory -- by Adam Curtis

The Power of Nightmares Part 3: The Shadows in the Cave


Sun, 09/16/2012 - 21:46 | 2801975 TWSceptic
TWSceptic's picture

You clearly missed the "open-ended" part. Also the fact that it may change to 50, 60, 70 billion. Over a year it quickly goes to a trillion. This is QE without limits. And most crazy of all, he is reflating the housing bubble!

Sat, 09/15/2012 - 20:36 | 2799556 Parrotile
Parrotile's picture

How many lettuces for a bypass? Is it cheaper (per vessel) to go for a triple / quad early on 'cause it would "cost" fewer lettuces per vessel??

Reminds me of Douglas Adam's "Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy" - "people seemed generally unhappy owing to posession or not of small green pieces of paper, but overall the small green pieces of paper were themselves not particularly unhappy".

At least Obomber's pondering over his coin collection - it could be a lot worse if he was fondling his GUN collection . . . . .

Sat, 09/15/2012 - 15:49 | 2799088 NewWorldOrange
NewWorldOrange's picture

If you want to see the value of your gold soar

Who you gonna' call?

Central Bankers!

Sat, 09/15/2012 - 15:53 | 2799094 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Dear Central bankster receptionist please inform your printing press that q99x2's cell phone is an old Nokia that has coincidentily gone on the blink at the time of Apple's new iPhone 5's release. Would you please send him enough cash in unmarked federal reserve notes so he can waste it on an iPhone. Your boss has his address over at the NSA's Utah facility. PS his dog would also appreciate it if you send along a 50 pound bag of non GMO organic dog food.

Sincerely Q99X2.

Sat, 09/15/2012 - 15:56 | 2799098 Vlad Tepid
Vlad Tepid's picture

A cheat sheet for hangin' time?

Sat, 09/15/2012 - 15:57 | 2799101 Ineverslice
Ineverslice's picture

"I told you not to cross the streams, Ray!"

Sat, 09/15/2012 - 15:59 | 2799102 JackT
JackT's picture

I imagine them dressed as ghost busters but with a gold coin stricken out instead of a ghost. Guns spraying cash instead of plasma beams

Sat, 09/15/2012 - 16:01 | 2799106 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Group email:

"Central Bank intervention benefits banks, punishes savers, debases the currency, aids and abets market manipulations, mis-allocates capital and resources, inflates necessities, robs the taxpayer, and engenders war.  Are these your goals?  If not, find another career."

Sat, 09/15/2012 - 16:06 | 2799108 km4
km4's picture

Earliest known video of the Ben Bernank

Sat, 09/15/2012 - 16:11 | 2799119 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

"a wheelbarrow of cash:


First you'll need to find an affordable wheelbarrow to haul around all that cash. By that time they'll be in the $220 trillion price range.

Sat, 09/15/2012 - 18:27 | 2799369 LULZBank
LULZBank's picture

I'll keep a Gold coin, atleast to buy a wheelbarrow.

Sat, 09/15/2012 - 16:23 | 2799131 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 Cannibalism is so in vogue, now days. Especially, when a "kernel of corn" costs "2 dollars"!   "Didn't ask for a dime! I want my 2 dollars!"

Sat, 09/15/2012 - 16:21 | 2799136 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Thank you Tyler. My years of posting BIS info has finally paid off. WB7 needs to illustrate the Muckety graphic version to explain how things really work. Simple building blocks for the mass to see.... goes a long way. :)

Sat, 09/15/2012 - 16:30 | 2799153 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 Anyone want to take bets on Spain, going the "Full Monty" this next week. That "BIS " file you posted, just jogged my(  upcoming audit of Spains books) memory.  That is , If the M/E doesn't turn into a pretty, "green glass" parking lot first?

Sat, 09/15/2012 - 17:00 | 2799222 Börjesson
Börjesson's picture

Ah, but it's good to touch the green, green glass of home.

Sat, 09/15/2012 - 16:49 | 2799196 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

Surely by now there are no unemployed Blackwater, aka Xe, now known as Academi, people...

I find it astounding not one bankster has been, let's see, reportedly, needing paramedic help or read about in the NYTimesObit column.
Just observing...

Sat, 09/15/2012 - 17:18 | 2799201 BlackholeDivestment
BlackholeDivestment's picture

LMAO. For me, so far, lol, this is the funniest post of the year. Thank you Zero Hedge, ...for being as sick and twisted. 

...Delta Delta


...where is my drone?

Sat, 09/15/2012 - 17:06 | 2799235 zippy_uk
zippy_uk's picture

Tyler - what about the bit when Goza the destructor turns up as the marshmallow man? Or did I miss something?

Sat, 09/15/2012 - 17:20 | 2799265 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

Just came from the grocery store and the fuckers are already raising prices. Box of Wheaties cereal $4.79, was $4.19 and milk is $3.49, was $3.19


Only the beginning. Food riots here we come. Hopefully they can find Bernanke and hang the prick.

Sat, 09/15/2012 - 17:39 | 2799295 BlackholeDivestment
BlackholeDivestment's picture

...are you giving me a badge? LMAO, ...cuz if I don't qualify for one kiss your dusty ass goodbye. 

I wiill audit their soul. LMAO. Not that we are all not so affected, it's ''will you sacrifice life to sustain the delusion?''


Sat, 09/15/2012 - 17:40 | 2799310 Think for yourself
Think for yourself's picture

wait - milk $3.49? For what quantity?

Sat, 09/15/2012 - 18:21 | 2799362 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 It depends on the " Mammal". Teets for ToTs! ;-)

Sat, 09/15/2012 - 17:57 | 2799332 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

My fear and suspicion is that the FED is engaging in transactions that are neither heralded nor entered into their books. Think about that. What's stopping them from acting in concert with the plunge protection team, CIA, FBI etc to be doing some secret financial plumbing in the hope of covering up some seriously insolvent banks. With printers, computers and electronic transfers you can do anything you want.

Sat, 09/15/2012 - 18:02 | 2799345 i love cholas
i love cholas's picture

So, what if all this quantitative easing measures actually do work? Do sites like this instantly lose credibility?

Sat, 09/15/2012 - 19:25 | 2799447 adr
adr's picture

In the past four years my company has lost 35% margin due to currency devaluation alone. We must buy parts from Japan in dollars, the machines to build the parts do not exist in the USA. The only other place we can possibly get them is Germany. Devaluation against the Euro and a higher base cost from Germany makes that a losing proposition as well.

If the dollar drops below 70 Yen, we can no longer make any profit on what we sell.

It doesn't matter is QE actually works, it won't, the effects of it will put my company out of business and put another 100 people out of work. The average salary my company pays is $32k a year. 90% of the people working with me will not find a job making anything close to that.

Yes we could fire workers, but the savings there will not be enough to cover the margin loss from currency depreciation. It it costs $7.25 to buy our product, and our wholesale is $8.75, that $1.50 gross profit disappears rather quickly, workers or not. We can not raise our wholesale cost, and the consumer will not accept higher retails on discretionary products. Thanks to Bernanke doubling the cost of most non-discretionary items. 5% drop in the dollar and net profit easily goes negative. Since we aren't a publicly traded nightmare like Amazon, we can't make negative margins work.

Sat, 09/15/2012 - 20:26 | 2799535 Parrotile
Parrotile's picture

Sites such as this base their commentary on observations of effects. You will no doubt be aware that QE1, QE2, Operation Twist and whatever other "Socialisation of the Losses" strategies enacted by the Fed. Reserve Inc. have so far evidently NOT had anything like the desired effect.

If QE3 "works" on the backdrop of the above, it'll either be a miracle, or more probably a result of serious behind the scenes "activity", which us mere mortals are not priviy to.

So, in summary, no. ZH's comments are based on generally available information, and a reasonable predicion of outcomes based on analysis of past events. If QE3 DOES "appear to work" this will if anything increase the attractiveness of ZH since the very diverse range of contributors and commenatiors will be amongst the first to work out / find out just how a mechanism that has failed in the recent past, suddenly, almost magically, produces "the desired result".

There would then be a LOT of digging, and you'd be quite surprised at what gets turned up . . . . . . . .

Sun, 09/16/2012 - 22:58 | 2802130 ZeroAvatar
ZeroAvatar's picture

Yeah, the last (2?) Quantitative Easing's worked so well, they're just doing this one for 'good measure'.

Sat, 09/15/2012 - 18:31 | 2799377 BlackholeDivestment
BlackholeDivestment's picture

Nobody was paying attention to the plumbing. It's not sexy. You got to pay attention to the plumbing.

(A quote from ''Slam Dunk" )

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