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Goldman Punk'd Clients Yet Again

Tyler Durden's picture


On Friday, following the announcement from Goldman that the firm's had just turned more bullish on European financials raising banks from Underweight to Neutral, we said: "Goldman has just started selling European bank stocks to its clients, whom it is telling to buy European bank stocks. Said otherwise, the Stolpering of clients gullible enough to do what Goldman says and not does, has recommenced. Our advice, as always, do what Goldman's flow desk is doing as it begins to unload inventory of bank stocks. Translation: run from European bank exposure." Sure enough: European banks (as per BEBANKS) are now down 3.84% today alone, or -1.5% from the Thursday close, while the general MSCI Euro Fin sector, EUFN, is down 6% today. While not quite a slam dunk trade as a Stolper FX anti-reco, nobody has ever filed for bankruptcy by making money. Thank you Goldman.


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Mon, 12/12/2011 - 13:54 | 1970774 fonzanoon
fonzanoon's picture

HAHAHA. Thats all I have to say. If they have any clients.

Mon, 12/12/2011 - 13:56 | 1970780 Popo
Popo's picture

...Just your pension fund.

Mon, 12/12/2011 - 14:00 | 1970799 Barbarous Relic
Barbarous Relic's picture

Can someone please tell me the difference between Goldman and JT Marlin?  Anyone?  

Mon, 12/12/2011 - 14:03 | 1970819 distopiandreamboy
distopiandreamboy's picture

JT Marlin didn't have an office in Manhatten

Mon, 12/12/2011 - 14:12 | 1970842 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Beyond the joke of it's predictability, perhaps GS trade reccomendations are the wink wink hint to the ones in know to move. 

Given the inverse correlation rate, it sure seems like it, eh?



Mon, 12/12/2011 - 14:26 | 1970917 Comay Mierda
Comay Mierda's picture

oldman (nut)sacks is the best contrarian indicator today

Mon, 12/12/2011 - 14:46 | 1971004 Max Fischer
Max Fischer's picture



ZeroHedge should get creative with the Bloomberg tools and track the inverse of GS's recommendations for all of 2012, similiar to what you guys did with Tilson.  Give it a year, be totally honest about it, and see where it is in 12 months. 

I guarantee it will go viral across Wall Street.

Max Fischer, Civis Mundi   


Mon, 12/12/2011 - 15:18 | 1971133 Darkness
Darkness's picture

Why "Occupy Wall Street" when you can just do the opposite of whatever Goldman says its clients should do?

Also, someone find me a job. 

Mon, 12/12/2011 - 15:49 | 1971286 dracos_ghost
dracos_ghost's picture

They should resurrect the QE2 "F E D" bell tone.

Mon, 12/12/2011 - 19:18 | 1971944 Problem Is
Problem Is's picture

"...Just your pension fund."

Good One Popo...

And I might add... his 401k Mutual Fund...

Mon, 12/12/2011 - 13:56 | 1970779 Iriestx
Iriestx's picture

Jesus fucking christ, people pay for this advice?  You'd have a better track record flipping a fucking coin than buying advice from these used car salesmen.

Mon, 12/12/2011 - 13:56 | 1970782 Mr_Wonderful
Mr_Wonderful's picture

Another astute counter-indicator from the Tylers.

Mon, 12/12/2011 - 13:56 | 1970783 Iliketurtles
Iliketurtles's picture

that is a strange day, market going down on fundamentals..... how quaint

Mon, 12/12/2011 - 14:29 | 1970937 macholatte
macholatte's picture

It ain't over. There's about 2 1/2 hours before the next bullish rumor hits the net.


Mon, 12/12/2011 - 13:56 | 1970784 non_anon
non_anon's picture

ah, nothing like being someone else's bitch

Mon, 12/12/2011 - 14:01 | 1970785 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



Dear Lord Blankfein:

How will you justify record bonuses when GS stock is down more than 40 % on the year?


F.B.O. Non-employee shareholders

Mon, 12/12/2011 - 14:02 | 1970816 Hippocratic Oaf
Hippocratic Oaf's picture

That's "Honorable Lord Blankfein" to you, H. H.

Mon, 12/12/2011 - 14:04 | 1970825 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



There are always two Sith. 


Mon, 12/12/2011 - 14:06 | 1970830 Hippocratic Oaf
Hippocratic Oaf's picture

I stand corrected.

Mon, 12/12/2011 - 13:57 | 1970786 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Their blender is loaded with EURO Shit. EURO...Goldman's new AIG. You better believe Corzine was smoking the same cracked up shit his pals at Goldman were smoking.

Mon, 12/12/2011 - 14:06 | 1970832 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

puff puff pass puff puff pass...

Mon, 12/12/2011 - 13:57 | 1970787 maxw3st
maxw3st's picture

Goldman Sachs, picking up where the old Merrill Lynch left off. Best contrarian indicator in the market is their client recommendations.

Mon, 12/12/2011 - 14:01 | 1970814 homer8043
homer8043's picture

GS is craftier that that. They load a bunch of minimally ok advice and neutral advice with advice like this one. Tilson just seems like a dolt.

Mon, 12/12/2011 - 13:59 | 1970792 No One
No One's picture

but is it Tilson like?

Mon, 12/12/2011 - 13:59 | 1970795 homer8043
homer8043's picture

OWS needs to learn how to steal from the masters. Or just keep doing what their doing because they have actual ethics. Of course, ethics gets you arrested in USA 2011.

Mon, 12/12/2011 - 14:33 | 1970959 topcallingtroll
topcallingtroll's picture

If someone pisses in the coffee pot and no one notices did it really happen?

Mon, 12/12/2011 - 14:57 | 1971011 UnderDeGun
UnderDeGun's picture

Isn't saying OWS has ethics the same as saying elephants have gills? There is no "organization" that has ethics. Period. Individual human beings are the only ones with a capacity to explore ethics. Groups can't. Why? Because group behavior suborns individual capacity for individual thought. Humans have been genetically programmed that way over millions of years of surviving. With that it becomes obvious why it is truly rare that individuals stand out in history. Why? Because, standing out has proven itself to be a serious burden on individual survival --- a true negative over, "a long enough timeline".

Only an individual can directly decide to implement "ethical" behavior. To do so without choice requires coercion. Then it becomes someone else's "ethics".

Mon, 12/12/2011 - 15:15 | 1971118 Dirt Rat
Dirt Rat's picture

Only an individual can directly decide to implement "ethical" behavior. To do so without choice requires coercion. Then it becomes someone else's "ethics".

No, then it becomes morality. Ethics comes from within; morality is imposed from without.

Mon, 12/12/2011 - 20:57 | 1972208 chump666
chump666's picture

I guess OWS goes global and they set up $500 trading accounts, say they muster maybe 3million account holders. They all time one major short sell of Goldman.  Be tricky to pull off, but could work, OWS protestors short sells Goldman.  It would have to be a global effort. 

Mon, 12/12/2011 - 13:59 | 1970796 Jadr
Jadr's picture

I've been reading ZH for quite some time and it amazes me how often these goldman picks immediately turn sour. I wish there was an easy way to find all the goldman suggestion posts in the archives and see what the % of immediately stopped out trades their picks lead to.

Mon, 12/12/2011 - 14:30 | 1970932 Bam_Man
Bam_Man's picture

Most retail investors (Mom & Pop) don't even know what a "stop" is. They have been brainwashed into "buy and hold" and almost always get totally obliterated when they act on bad advice.

Mon, 12/12/2011 - 14:18 | 1970889 SteveGennisonBa...
SteveGennisonBallWasher's picture

Thanks for posting.  Maybe the other two in the video can be replaced with kindergartners.  Schiff should've taken some shots while the others commented/questioned.  I know I would have.

Mon, 12/12/2011 - 14:00 | 1970806 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Goldman Sachs: putting the Stolper into every client rec.

Mon, 12/12/2011 - 14:30 | 1970945 topcallingtroll
topcallingtroll's picture

Man. That shit is totally Stolpered up.

Mon, 12/12/2011 - 14:01 | 1970807 warezdog
warezdog's picture

Who else but GS can soak up liquidity like a sponge in the euro bond market by saying one thing and doing another?

Like the saying goes, a fool and his money are soon parted.

Mon, 12/12/2011 - 14:01 | 1970808 willien1derland
willien1derland's picture

Again Tyler - Thank you for the continued excellence in NEWS THAT TRULY MATTERS - If Goldman Sach's 'sophisticated' clients ARE FOOLISH ENOUGH 1.) to purchase European Bank Equities, & 2.) Follow Goldman's recommendation in the face of the prevailing circumstances - THAN Goldman will need to find new clients as everyone knows there is a difference between shearing a sheep & skinning one...only if there was a government  regulatory unit that would counteract the such underhanded dealing...Ohhh that is right - there is...but unfortunately the SEC has been captured by Goldman Sachs via the appointment of Mary Shapiro...CRONY CAPITALISM AT ITS FINEST!

Mon, 12/12/2011 - 14:02 | 1970817 Mr_Wonderful
Mr_Wonderful's picture

Don´t worry, GS is fast falling down on its sorry ass with its hopeless commodities warehouse business. Its schemes have been getting increasingly desperate. It´ll probably go belly up next year.

Mon, 12/12/2011 - 14:05 | 1970828 Scrilla
Scrilla's picture

Hopeless commodities warehouse? Please elaborate.

Mon, 12/12/2011 - 14:22 | 1970911 Mr_Wonderful
Mr_Wonderful's picture


Goldman Sachs warehouse business.

It´s nothing less than surrealistic.

In a world that is absolutely swimming in overabundance of everything, oversupply, overindebtness and demand failure - those jokers have been busy stocking warehouses with commodities on a gigantic scale. I guess they wanted to corner the world but instead tney´ll undoubtedly go belly up fairly soon.


Tue, 12/13/2011 - 19:25 | 1976452 ToNYC
ToNYC's picture

Their warehouse is a whorehouse because that's where you go to get their wares in your barehouse.

Mon, 12/12/2011 - 14:09 | 1970848 JimBobOMG
JimBobOMG's picture

No way dude, I think they're invested in red ink.

Mon, 12/12/2011 - 14:04 | 1970821 Ecoman11
Mon, 12/12/2011 - 14:04 | 1970824 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

What the bulls need today is a good Hilsenrath "Fed leak" on WSJ site....

Mon, 12/12/2011 - 14:06 | 1970829 qussl3
qussl3's picture

FWIW, today was the first time in years that ive seen an ad for GS asset management.

Methinks the sheep are catching on.

Mon, 12/12/2011 - 14:12 | 1970863 warezdog
warezdog's picture

just one of many to come, they'll be seen back to back with SuperBowl commercials as soon as the teams are decided, most likey 4 in rotation per hour during primetime thru February. You can be sure the big eye and the peacock will be cashing those checks as soon as they're played and ALL make goods will be made good! Between 50" 3D TV ads and GS ads you haven't seen nothing yet, the best is yet to come!

Mon, 12/12/2011 - 16:51 | 1970835 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

AHA! Knew it! Should have traded it....oh well next time.

Mon, 12/12/2011 - 14:11 | 1970859 stant
stant's picture

 more like shanked, didnt even wipe the blood and hair off the prison shank first

Mon, 12/12/2011 - 14:18 | 1970890 loveyajimbo
loveyajimbo's picture

The guys who eventually catch Blankfein outside of a jewish deli, and proceed to beat the crap out of him should be jailed... for at least 24 hours... and then let go but with a VERY stern warning.

Mon, 12/12/2011 - 14:39 | 1970985 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

fuck that...they should get a cash prize and have a park named after them.

Mon, 12/12/2011 - 14:22 | 1970904 SillySalesmanQu...
SillySalesmanQuestion's picture

Would love to see enough capital line up one day to short the shit out of one of GS's "contrairian" positions, and see their trading desk going"WTF...this is'nt going how we scripted it...."

Mon, 12/12/2011 - 14:29 | 1970936 topcallingtroll
topcallingtroll's picture

A Stolper FX anti reco!

To Stolper.

Bend over. You are about to get Stolpered.

Thank you for those wonderful new additions to the english language!
We shall put them to good use.

Mon, 12/12/2011 - 14:32 | 1970954 Odin
Odin's picture

So wait, what interest to they have in bankrupting their clients again?... Oh yeah, right, I forgot, a world full of debt slaves is eaiser to rule than a world full of wealthy people...

Mon, 12/12/2011 - 14:36 | 1970976 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

as I remember, pretty much EVERYONE in the ZH comments section saw that one coming.

Mon, 12/12/2011 - 14:39 | 1970978 Mr_Wonderful
Mr_Wonderful's picture

The really big waves in the market have been making a lot of sense. This is the big-dog currency market. Minor stuff like equities and midgets like metals are little more than fleas trying to wag that dog.

For import-dependent US economic input costs must be bid down via a rising dollar to help small company profits and employment. For export-dependent Germany the Euro must be driven down to help industries and employment. Everything around these basics is in actual fact just diversionary noise.

Mon, 12/12/2011 - 14:58 | 1971038 RichardENixon
RichardENixon's picture

Goldman still had clients after their long EUR/USD call, limit at 1.40?

Mon, 12/12/2011 - 15:01 | 1971053 warezdog
warezdog's picture

Looks like Soros thinks MF euros was a good deal, he bought them all up, I wonder if he discussed with GS and they're going to repackage for him.

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 19:28 | 1976462 ToNYC
ToNYC's picture

It was wham-bam thank-you mam; he puts up cash and collects the vig 'till the merde frappe le ventilateur.

Mon, 12/12/2011 - 15:03 | 1971064 nestle
nestle's picture

These guys are pros. Fucking pros!!


Mon, 12/12/2011 - 15:10 | 1971101 Scalaris
Scalaris's picture

You'd think that people would realize by now that Goldman's recommendations = inverse positions. 

This isn't even a fucking conspiracy anymore; house sells - sheeps buy.

Mon, 12/12/2011 - 15:14 | 1971114 batterycharged
batterycharged's picture

It really should be illegal for a financial firm to have a prop desk and sell to the public.

What kind of bullshit is that?  They talk about conflict all the time, is that not the biggest conflict of them all?

But then again, it should be illegal for an investment company to have access to the fed window.

We all know who writes these laws.

Mon, 12/12/2011 - 15:30 | 1971188 junkyardjack
junkyardjack's picture

It would be if the financial firms that have prop desks didn't write the laws.  

Mon, 12/12/2011 - 15:40 | 1971233 Illegitimi-Non-...
Illegitimi-Non-Carborundum's picture

Off topic but did anyone else notice the story about the protestors being arrested at Goldman headquarters is off line?

Mon, 12/12/2011 - 15:54 | 1971312 apu123
apu123's picture

I bought FAZ right before close on Friday, will sell if the 3:30 rumor from reuters or FT comes out.  I will sink my profits if there are still some by the end of the day into some silver.  Sooner or later there will be to many bases for the banksters to cover and this whole thing will collapse and nothing will work in the market.

Mon, 04/30/2012 - 18:40 | 2386747 MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

What if FAZ and the market go down at the same time? You do realize some days trade like that, and the entire situation could fall like that and stay that way... don't you?

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 00:05 | 1972709 Pumpkin
Pumpkin's picture

There are actually people who take their money and trust it to these bloods sucking thieves?  Man being a con artist much be one easy gig!

Tue, 12/13/2011 - 02:04 | 1972925 jack stephan
jack stephan's picture

Taggart: What do you want me to do, sir?
Hedley Lamarr: I want you to round up every vicious criminal and gunslinger in the west. Take this down.
[Taggart looks for a pen and paper while Hedley talks]
Hedley Lamarr: I want rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers and Methodists.
Taggart: [finding pen and paper] Could you repeat that, sir?


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