Goldman Reports Massive $0.84 Loss Per Share, Prop Trading Loss Of $2.5 Billion, Comp Accrual Of $358,713 Per Employee

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Tue, 10/18/2011 - 07:40 | 1784448 Fips_OnTheSpot
Fips_OnTheSpot's picture

Bloodbath in DAX already

Tue, 10/18/2011 - 07:48 | 1784475 LeonardoFibonacci
LeonardoFibonacci's picture

Time to pray the Lloyd's (sic) prayer or"God's work here then is "The Goldman Prayer":

Our chairman who art at Goldman
Blankfein be thy name
Thy rally’s come, God’s work be done
In the Dow as it is in the Nasdaq
Give us this day our daily gain
And forgive us our frontruning, as we punish those who frontrun against us
And bring us not under indictment
But deliver us from regulators
For thine is the cashflow, and the power, and the bonuses, forever and ever. Amen

Tue, 10/18/2011 - 07:56 | 1784492 trampstamp
trampstamp's picture

Amen brother!

Tue, 10/18/2011 - 10:40 | 1785054 Dental Floss Tycoon
Dental Floss Tycoon's picture

And God said, "Bless you Goldman."  And Goldman gained 2 percent.

Tue, 10/18/2011 - 11:19 | 1785174 sqz
sqz's picture

Astonishingly, there does not appear to be any DVA (Debit Value Adjustment) gain in the Vampire Squid's books. If it is there, its mighty small compared to Bank of America's astonishing booking of $1.7 bn direct DVA and a further $4.5bn of "fair value adjustments on structured liabilities ... reflects the widening of the company's credit spreads".

So, a grand total of mind-boggling $6.2bn of booked profits against losses on the company's own liabilities and credit spread widening!

Tue, 10/18/2011 - 11:55 | 1785500 LeonardoFibonacci
LeonardoFibonacci's picture

DVA is only for banks that are lenders which Goldman is not!

Wed, 10/19/2011 - 11:59 | 1789167 sqz
sqz's picture

Actually, it turns out that Goldman Sachs did have a DVA gain of $450 million but they hedged it all out by selling CDS on a basket of highly correlated peers in order to reduce their earnings volatility.

To some, having to account for an artificial gain (which nevertheless hits tangible equity so therefore can be used for compensation) is already unbelievably perverse.

But now, arguably, it is even worse when you actually act on DVA by hedging it so that you add not only to your default risk (you've just sold protection) but increased sector and systemic risk!

DVA is a monstrosity that should not exist, though it probably pales next to some other CVA modeling assumptions and hedging activity which cannot be uniformly accounted for by auditors.

Tue, 10/18/2011 - 08:00 | 1784503 Jeff Lebowski
Jeff Lebowski's picture

Awesome.

Tue, 10/18/2011 - 08:02 | 1784506 lunaticfringe
lunaticfringe's picture

Amen. Amen.

Tue, 10/18/2011 - 08:05 | 1784516 Vengeance
Vengeance's picture

Beautiful prayer. I'm sure they're saying a few of those to the Fed as perhaps we just saw the equation of {No POMO=No Risk Free Profit=Loss on 'Prop' Trading} at work...

Tue, 10/18/2011 - 08:15 | 1784547 MonsterBox
MonsterBox's picture

Dude, that's a gift.  well done!

Tue, 10/18/2011 - 08:16 | 1784549 MolotovCockhead
MolotovCockhead's picture

When the judgement day comes TBTF will need more than prayers to protect them. Bullet proof vest won't even protect them......not against pitch forks, tar, feathers, and manila rope!

Tue, 10/18/2011 - 08:22 | 1784567 RemiG2010
RemiG2010's picture

+1  Alleluia! Amen!

Tue, 10/18/2011 - 08:26 | 1784588 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Leonardo, that is simply brilliant. Brilliant stuff! You own?

ORI

Thoughts and Lessons @ OWS

Tue, 10/18/2011 - 08:26 | 1784589 MassDecep
MassDecep's picture

"Thy rally’s come, God’s work be done"

Should be "Satans work be done"

Tue, 10/18/2011 - 08:46 | 1784643 stopcpdotcom
stopcpdotcom's picture

Brilliant!

Tue, 10/18/2011 - 09:32 | 1784777 jonan
jonan's picture

cue the organ...

Tue, 10/18/2011 - 11:03 | 1785180 Tsunami Wave
Tsunami Wave's picture

That made my day... thank you.. lmao

Tue, 10/18/2011 - 12:48 | 1785717 Libertarians fo...
Libertarians for Prosperity's picture

 

 

Incredibly witty. 

 

Tue, 10/18/2011 - 07:41 | 1784450 SixFeetFromTheHedge
SixFeetFromTheHedge's picture

My charts going vertical on this news :)

Tue, 10/18/2011 - 09:09 | 1784707 Fidel Sarcastro
Fidel Sarcastro's picture

HOW BIG will the BONUS pool be...cause there still will be BONUSES despite the LOSSES!

Tue, 10/18/2011 - 07:43 | 1784452 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

Staged. This is worthy of Shakespeare.

They're probably buying CDS on themselves....

Tue, 10/18/2011 - 09:31 | 1784684 spanish inquisition
spanish inquisition's picture

Agree. An opportunity to clean out all the losses throughout the business lines. Better bang for the buck using accounting shifts next quarter and seem human this quarter. Besides, who is gonna remember or care tomorrow that....G..Gold, Goldman. lost. lost something in the.. 3rd inning? no. something else.. Give me a sec, I'll get it..

Edit: This also plays nicely into the "Hey, how can we be committing fraud if we are losing money defense"

Tue, 10/18/2011 - 07:42 | 1784453 quark288
quark288's picture

Atleast GS had the temerity to report a loss unlike the fraudsters in Citi and BOA....

Tue, 10/18/2011 - 08:23 | 1784577 bartek
bartek's picture

Do not believe this loss. They have used some accounting gimmick to hide the money in order to reduce public discontent.

It would be bad politics to report huge profits when OWS is downstairs.

Tue, 10/18/2011 - 08:31 | 1784602 citrine
citrine's picture

It does look a lot like a strategic event.

Tue, 10/18/2011 - 09:39 | 1784793 Solid
Solid's picture

That is the first thing I thought of when I read this.
I don't buy it.

Tue, 10/18/2011 - 11:02 | 1785170 dracos_ghost
dracos_ghost's picture

I agree. They probably traded most of their stuff as a counterparty to their Isle of Tax Invisibiliy in the Wherethefuckarewe ocean to avoid US taxes.

Tue, 10/18/2011 - 07:42 | 1784454 pepperspray
pepperspray's picture

Its a Tuesday, the markets are fine.

Tue, 10/18/2011 - 07:42 | 1784455 El Gordo
El Gordo's picture

I this another green chute?

Tue, 10/18/2011 - 07:43 | 1784456 EZT
EZT's picture

Why is this bad for markets..?

Tue, 10/18/2011 - 08:15 | 1784544 beaker
beaker's picture

Maybe because people are figuring that if these "insider" guys can't make money in this clusterfuck called the capital markets, what chance do they have?

Tue, 10/18/2011 - 09:42 | 1784798 junkyardjack
junkyardjack's picture

Well their stock is up so I guess losses are the new profits

Tue, 10/18/2011 - 07:43 | 1784457 jm
jm's picture

FICC results, equities, everything just dismal. 

Tue, 10/18/2011 - 07:43 | 1784459 Mitch Comestein
Mitch Comestein's picture

Last week, FAZ swan dive.  This week, FAZ rocket ship.

Tue, 10/18/2011 - 08:42 | 1784627 JohnG
JohnG's picture

YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Tue, 10/18/2011 - 07:44 | 1784461 LeonardoFibonacci
LeonardoFibonacci's picture

Blankfein you bastard

Tue, 10/18/2011 - 07:45 | 1784462 bigdumbnugly
bigdumbnugly's picture

so goldman is taking the "poor little goldman sachs is not the all-powerful" route instead of fudging numbers around like the others.

well, let's see what that gets them.

Tue, 10/18/2011 - 07:45 | 1784466 ss123
ss123's picture

Doing god's work is getting more difficult everyday.

Tue, 10/18/2011 - 07:45 | 1784468 The Axe
The Axe's picture

Squid is back on the menu BOYS!!!

Tue, 10/18/2011 - 07:46 | 1784469 gigeze787
gigeze787's picture

GS bad news to get the stock cheap enough to go private and give up bank status...?

Tue, 10/18/2011 - 07:47 | 1784472 EZT
EZT's picture

fried calamari greek style

Tue, 10/18/2011 - 07:47 | 1784474 Irish66
Irish66's picture

Bank of China gave them a nice balck eye

Tue, 10/18/2011 - 07:49 | 1784479 John Bull
John Bull's picture

Fuckers! Staged! Theatre! Too afraid to show any profits! Taken a loss now and when the smellies have left Wall Street they will post even bigger profits...

Tue, 10/18/2011 - 08:36 | 1784617 Esso
Esso's picture

"Fuckers! Staged! Theatre!"

I agree. I always wondered why those stupid MFers would gloat about record profits, record bonuses, record this & that in the worst economy ever. That's a sure-fire way to end up on the end of a rope when everybody else is starving.

So, why not play poor-mouth and tell everyone you're struggling, while raking in your record profits & bonuses and just keep your friggin' mouth shut and not bear the wrath of the peons? What, you think the goobermunt will prosecute them for lying? Think again.

Hell, the bonus plan is they can then whine to the goobermunt for more taxpayer-funded bailouts because they're TBTF, making for record-record stealth profit & bonuses.

Tue, 10/18/2011 - 07:49 | 1784480 ss123
ss123's picture

When the money you make become more worthless everyday, there comes a time to just say screw it, and move into a shack by a pond and fish all day.

Tue, 10/18/2011 - 07:52 | 1784488 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

There's nothing wrong with that.

Tue, 10/18/2011 - 07:50 | 1784483 PaperBear
PaperBear's picture

Not so 'Master of the Universe' are they now.

Tue, 10/18/2011 - 07:52 | 1784486 PaperBear
PaperBear's picture

Watch CFTC bottle the position limits decision today.

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