Goldman Sachs Headline Of The Day: German Unemployment Higher, Employment Also Higher

Tyler Durden's picture

Today may be the final snorefest before tomorrow Uncle Ben Chairsatan disappoints everyone (sending the market even higher on hopes and prayers he is really saving the super-duper nitrous turbo bazooka for the Sept 13 FOMC meeting) with nothing actionable coming through the J-Hole teleprompter, but that doesn't mean the day has to be boring. Luckily, Goldman has made sure of just that with a report on the surprising higher than expected rise in German unemployment, which coupled with yesterday's higher than expected inflation in Deutschland (they didn't build that inflation, someone else did it for them) is certain to get all ze Germans in a very bailouty moody. However, this being Goldman: the bank that runs the ECB, the Fed, the BOC, and soon, if all goes according to plan, the BOE, the base coverage is enough to make one's head spin. To wit: 'Unemployment edges higher, but employment continues to rise." In other words, add both German employment and unemployment to that other list of items that just goes up come hell or high water, such as stocks, bonds, VIX, crude, gold, blood pressure, coffee consumption, and so forth. Why, one may ask? Simple - "the new central-planned normal." Which of course is the same as the old central-planned normal from circa 1954 Stalingrad.

From Goldman Sachs

Unemployment edges higher, but employment continues to rise

Bottom line: Unemployment continued to edge higher in August. Employment, however, is still rising, albeit at a slower pace, suggesting that companies are becoming more reluctant to create jobs.

Unemployment (seasonally and calendar adjusted) rose 9,000 in August after a similar increase in July. At the same time, employment increased by 16,000 in July after +25,000 in June. The unemployment rate remained constant at 6.8%; the unemployment rate according to the ILO definition was also unchanged at 5.5%.

The slowdown in the economy is starting to affect the labour market, as reflected in the rate at which new jobs are being created: the average rise in employment was only 30k in the second quarter, after +46k in Q1. It has now slowed further to just +16k in July (latest data available). To be sure, the lack of skilled labour may in some regions also be a factor leading to the slowdown in employment growth, with unemployment rates in Southern Germany remaining well below 4%.

Overall, the labour market continues to support growth for the time being. A weaker underlying momentum of the German economy will lead, we think, to a more pronounced slowdown in job creation. At the same time, there is no indication so far that the latest developments at the European level have led to a fundamental reassessment of the medium-term outlook for German corporates.

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GetZeeGold's picture



This is bad......if the Germans are out of work....who's gonna pay for all this crap?


Ar-Pharazôn's picture

first: last time in Europe we had a crysis like this, germans started wwII


secondo: germanzzzz productzzzz are NOT crap. china products are crap

Nussi34's picture

Yes! Someone needs to bomb the PIFGIBS again., so they can ask for GErmany money for another 60 years!

GetZeeGold's picture



Adopting a new change of heart.....a wise. older, and repentant Adolf moved to India and opened a clothing shop.


"No sure what I was thinking with that 1000 year Reich crap....seems batsh!t crazy now." - stated the grey haired Adolf.

Ar-Pharazôn's picture

mate you're on funny mode today?? :D hahahah

Lucius Cornelius Sulla's picture

The Germans will never start another war.  They, unlike Americans, are acutely aware of the suffering and devastation it brings.  If anyone is going to start WWIII it would be the most militaristic nation on the planet expanding its hegemony in a last ditch effort to sustain its status quo.  That nation is not Germany.

Ar-Pharazôn's picture

i m not necessarily saying that.....


just comparing times.... as i said last time that in Europe we had a crysis of this proportion that have been the worst time in Europe's history....


prepare yourself even for the worse cause nobody, i mean really N O B O D Y, can predict what will happen

toothpicker's picture

Peak Doublethink  

AlphaDawg's picture

Bullshit numbers

Peter Pan's picture

I suggest that Germany should seriously consider exporting goods to herself for local conumption. Her people may as well consume and enjoy the fruits of their labour rather than lend the fruits of their labour to the PIIGS who in turn buy German goods until realising repayment of their lines of credit is not possible.

JackT's picture

How in the $&@!

GMadScientist's picture

You could have an in-flux of foreigners which, even if the number of employed people was rising, could still lead to a sinking ratio because of the (even) larger denominator.

I wonder how they count the work-sharing setup in Germany vis a vis employment...are they fractionally employed or do they count as completely unemployed?

ParkAveFlasher's picture

Bullish!  Bearish!

Brit_Abroad's picture

The real story is actually in the number of companies throttling production and cutting hours (kurzarbeit).

As of Sept. I will be working upto 8 days a month less. Go figure what kind of effect that will have.

Mercury's picture

From Goldman Sachs

Unemployment edges higher, but employment continues to rise


What a J-Hole...

Crabshacker's picture

SHIT....the chicken or the egg? Answer the fucking question fuck face!

Caviar Emptor's picture

...and you needed more evidence of Biflation??? Ha

youngman's picture

Its all of those Greeks moving to Germany....file for unemployment...and live in fat city...

rufusbird's picture

Statistician wanted: Must be able to follow directions.

GetZeeGold's picture



The ability to turn crap into peaches and cream is a plus.


Rehab Willie's picture


(Letter from the Vampire Squid to Prince Harry)  

Dear Prince Harry,

It has come to our attention that you have been offered a role in a porn film for $10 million. We urge you to reject it.

Goldman Sachs is prepared to pay you much better than porn, and as a partner, your position will be much more prestigious than the Duke of York's role as a representative for international trade and investment. We twist country treasurers and central bankers around our little fingers. Politicians are at our beck and call. We even pay a lower tax rate than your grandmother.

As a royal, you'll regain your rightful status. We've managed to pervert capitalism and have even infiltrated our own regulators and government. If you join us, your elite status will be assured in perpetuity.

Our mortgage unit, Goldman Sachs Alternative Mortgage Products (GSAMP) was nicknamed "Garbage Sold at Mythical Prices" by financial professionals. In 2007, Ohio barred California-based New Century mortgage lenders from doing business after despicable practices. A complaint of alleged fraud against us detailed our close relationships with imploding mortgage lenders: Countrywide, New Century, and Fremont. They were bailed out, bankrupt, and/or sued.

The complaint showed "an accelerating meltdown for these subprime lenders, and despite known serious loan problems, we continued to securitize the loans and sell them in packages of residential mortgage backed securities." Rotten deals like GSAMP-2006 S3, (a $494 million deal from April 2006) were created and distributed by us and repackaged in other deals.

We paid a record $550 million to settle SEC fraud charges related to one subprime collateralized debt obligation (CDO) called Abacus. But that was chump change to what we would have paid if our GSAMP subsidiary and our own securitization department had been investigated.

Congress and TARP investigators uncovered further damaging evidence. Senator Carl Levin (D-MI), Chairman of a senate investigative panel, issued a memo stating that we at Goldman Sachs "magnified the impact of toxic mortgages". For example, The Wall Street Journal reviewed data showing that a $38 million subprime-mortgage bond created in June 2006 was referenced in more than 30 debt pools (via derivatives) causing around $280 million in losses to investors by 2008. In other words, we kept repackaging, reselling or buying credit default protection on losers, thus multiplying losses to others many times over on the same trash.

Were we seriously investigated? Were we indicted? Of course we were not. Were any criminal charges brought? Of course they were not.

We dodged questions by claiming we lost money. But that's the nature of control fraud. Parasites earn high pay while eating their host. That's why we needed taxpayer subsidies like the bailout of our credit default swap contracts with AIG.

William K. Black, a renowned fraud investigator, explains control fraud in his book, THE BEST WAY TO ROB A BANK IS TO OWN ONE. His team had over 1,000 felony convictions of major financial figures after financial fraud in Savings & Loans resulted in a financial crisis a couple of decades ago. Our current crisis was 70 times larger after we neutered enforcement. Today our Department of Justice ("DOJ") is our private Department of Jesters.

You've been overexposed. We completely understand that feeling! We felt the same way when we bought credit default protection from AIG on rotten CDOs, some of which we manufactured ourselves for ourselves and for foreign banks. We nearly sunk AIG, but U.S. taxpayers were forced to bail it out.

We nearly went under, too! Washington, the Federal Reserve and Treasury are all in our pocket, so they bailed out AIG's credit default swaps on which we got a big payday. They paid our friends at foreign banks for which we originated rotten CDOs; thank goodness, or they might have sued us! Our friends in the U.S. government paid 100 cents on the dollar when other bond insurers were settling the same deals for as low as 10 cents on the dollar. We'll stack our taxpayer subsidies against a royal's any day.

Oh, and you'll love this. A German bank sued us for securities fraud over Davis Square VI, one of the CDOs we originated, against which AIG sold protection. Our Department of Jesters is great at looking the other way. No criminal indictments for us!

The Shah of Iran, the son of a mere commoner, claimed he ruled by "divine right." That didn't end well for him. We've got spin that sounds better. We've done deal after deal like the previously mentioned reprehensible trash for which we've been unindicted. We call this doing "God's Work." It's working out great for us.

In November 2008, your grandmother asked why no one foresaw the credit crunch. Yet many financial professionals have well documented track records that show they did. Moreover, they warned that high leverage combined with securities that were a classic situation for fraud just begged disaster.

We handle the media better than you royals. Our media shills say "greed and venality do not make a criminal case." That sentence is true. But the issue is fraud, which is cause for a criminal case. You don't think that we used derivatives to reference the same dodgy $38 million bond over 30 times by accident, do you? Securities experts called us out on this B.S. in real time. That Tavakoli broad from Chicago wrote an entire book about CDO malfeasance in 2003. But we took it as a playbook and escalated, and our Department of Jesters is letting us get away with it!

British academics who are useful idiots wrote the Queen that a "psychology of denial", was responsible for intentional behavior. We'd be most grateful if you could keep your grandmother occupied with your shenanigans so she doesn't ask any more questions.

After seeing the following in the Daily Mail, we're 100 percent certain you have the right stuff for a long and extremely lucrative career with Goldman Sachs.:

A witness at the casino said: "Harry was playing craps with his friends. They were wasted. He was calling other punters at the table 'muppets' and he joked to the dealer that he would kick his head in if he didn't win."

We love your jokes! We only ask for a little more discretion. No, we don't mean about the nude photos; we don't care about that. But these days when we call our clients muppets, there are no witnesses.

We look forward to your answer, and no matter what you decide, let it never be said that you were uninvited by the unindicted.

Yours sincerely,

The Unindicted Goldman Sachs

ps....more about that Tavakoli broad from Chicago....

NationalRazor's picture

Lets get real about markets etc .Ben owns them ,as long as volumes stay reasonably low.I got abit suspicious when the dow dropped 660 points in one day in 2008 and next day had a dead cat bounce  of a mere 700 points.In spring 2009 Ben bought into all the markets stocks,pms,oil,bonds and commodities.Why? Because the virtual world of the markets allows him to influence the real world and make a lot of money with his friends from WS

You see Ben can use this choke point to do many things

 for example a.Increase tier 1 capital levels for banks by driving  up stocks.b.Drive down interest rates by buying treasuries.cIntroduce inflation to head off deflation.dIntroduce delation to head off inflation.Punish the gold bugs when necessary to support the dollar,etc etc etc.Of course the magnifyer of Bens actions is the WS gang, GS JPM etc  these are the ultimate insider traders.

By the way Bens working to a script but he didnt write it,It was knocked up by Rothschild ,Warburg ,Sieff etc.There is only problem, Europe wasnt in the script,thats why hes so worried about Europe ,but at least it gives him one thing,a good excuse when the SHTF.