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Goldman's Stolper Sets New Client Corzining Record

Tyler Durden's picture


There are simply no words to describe this.

We opened on Monday a long NZD/$ recommendation, partly on the basis that the Fed would ease monetary policy today with additional non-conventional measures. At the same time we pointed out that New Zealand’s economy looks relatively well protected against cyclical weakness. During the week both hypotheses were confirmed with much stronger GDP data in New Zealand than expected and the extension of “Operation Twist” by the Fed.


At the same time, however, long NZD/$ exposure is also strongly correlated with overall risk sentiment. The continued weakness in US macro data, as illustrated by today’s Philly Fed index and deteriorating political news flow from the Eurozone, led to a sharp deterioration in broader risk sentiment.


With much of the macro rationale for the recommendation now past and in line with our short SPX recommendation earlier today, we cut long NZD/$ exposure for a small potential loss of 0.7%.

Stolper. FTMFW.


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Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:06 | 2548247 Conman
Conman's picture

Muppets enjoy getting things shoved in from behind. In fact Muppets demand it.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:07 | 2548262 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

Stolperized again.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:10 | 2548275 idea_hamster
idea_hamster's picture

Stolper. FTMFW.

I.e., "for the muppet-fucking win"!

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:11 | 2548288 Tyler Durden
Tyler Durden's picture


Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:32 | 2548301 Richard Chesler
Richard Chesler's picture


Muppet Scalping Season is officially open!


Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:40 | 2548408 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

U believe that GS took a 70bps hit??? No way, they have ZERO trading loss days quarter in and quarter out....they didnt take no effin loss. GS only saying that to make the clients feel like they werent alone...but we all know the truth that in reality GS made the 70bps off their clients.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:42 | 2548419 asteroids
asteroids's picture

Gotta remember leverage on FX is 100:1. Losing 1% is very damaging to a porfolio.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 16:15 | 2548592 JimBowie1958
JimBowie1958's picture

I think in the US it is now limited to 50%.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 16:27 | 2548631 malikai
malikai's picture

Can someone explain to me where Goldman's muppets get their money from? I'm just curious to know where this inexhaustable stream of rich suckers is coming from.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 16:29 | 2548648 potlatch
potlatch's picture

Judging from my cohort?  The children of rich boomers who park their trusts, smoke too much weed, and start up jewelry businesses using only fair trade jade from Nepal.


Or other such children-of-boomer pipe dream


it is The Great Squandering.



PS: my folks are dirt farmers.  I have zero trusts to squander.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 22:43 | 2549631 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

In the end the "dirt farmers" will be driving the Ferraris (paraphrasing Jim Rogers).  Forget about jade jewelry, stock up on seeds (weed won't be a bad crop) for your parents farm.  Collapse always involves a lack of food:


Starving Greeks queued around the block for free food handouts yesterday as the country's politicians managed to end a crippling stalemate to form a coalition government.

Young children as well as the elderly waited in line in Athens to collect the parcels of fruit and vegetables donated by farmers from Crete to help ease the devastating austerity faced by many Greeks. 

Read more:

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 17:34 | 2548874 Not Too Important
Not Too Important's picture

Your 401K, your IRA, your pension, your savings and checking account, your city taxes, your county taxes, your state taxes, and your federal taxes. Oh, and everything else everyone has any financial stake in. Even PMs.

If anyone loses money, directly or indirectly, somewhere GSJPM is on the other side of the trade.

This is GS's Muppett money - OPM - Other People's Money. This is the new USGSJPM.

Enjoy it, or it's camp for you.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 17:35 | 2548876 Carl Spackler
Carl Spackler's picture

Answer:  Federal taxpayers via the PBGC bailout fund.   (What do I win, Monty?)

In other words, now underfunded pension funds, whose Investment Advisors (i.e., muppets) continue to make leveraged bets to meet their annual acturial return expectations (and lose), thereby evenutally forcing the PBGC to bail out the union hack beneficiaries after being leaned on by corrupt Congressional Democrats seeking re-election and campaign fundraising.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 18:19 | 2548983 rocker
rocker's picture

When we had the Bush/Hank Paulson/Neel Kashkari  Bailouts of 2008 Goldman was in trouble.

Paulson and Kashkari were both X Goldman employees.

To help Goldman somehow a magic wand was placed over Goldman and they got bank status.

So now, they too can go to the FED discount window and borrow on and off the books.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:59 | 2549241 Captain Planet
Captain Planet's picture

Ever meet a small business owner who knows nothing but his own business?

There are a few million well-to-do people out there who work their asses off in buildng shit, cooking shit, fixing shit and so on, who work nearly every day of the week, and therefor save a good portion of their income. 

I know quite a few, and I reckon they are still doing rather well, not wastefully spending their money, only to end up investing with vampire squids desguised as suited frat boys n girls. 

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 01:41 | 2549983 canary
canary's picture

Better still can you intro them to me?  I have some great deals I know they will like.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:56 | 2548429 MarsInScorpio
MarsInScorpio's picture

Mr. Durden, don't they know who you are?


"I'm Bad. I'm the baddest MF in the world. I'm the Juggernaut, Bitch!!"



Thu, 06/21/2012 - 16:31 | 2548654 Dr. Kenneth Noi...
Dr. Kenneth Noisewater's picture

Stolpered out!

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 17:14 | 2548819 ZeroAvatar
ZeroAvatar's picture

Conzine is laying low somewhere, hoping all this will blow over.  WE WON'T FORGET, Conzine!

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:36 | 2549179 fuu
fuu's picture

<golf clap>

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:24 | 2548330 duo
duo's picture

speaking of Muppets


Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:31 | 2548355 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

A rare video of Stolper stolpering:

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:06 | 2548249 TheEmperor
TheEmperor's picture

Eat your peas!!  Muppets!

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:07 | 2548261 TheDarkKnight
TheDarkKnight's picture

Let them eat cake.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:09 | 2548273 CPL
CPL's picture

Let them smoke crack.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:06 | 2548250 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

What is that Tyler 14 of 14? I've lost track.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:07 | 2548266 Al Huxley
Al Huxley's picture

Easier just to track the percentage, then it never changes, always 100.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:13 | 2548299 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

Al I am going out on a limb here...Two weeks from now we get a negative NFP and GDP barely hugs 0%. Thats when we get slammed and when we do that's when gold starts the climb to 2k. Your pictures of food analogy was great. You seem to know gold pretty well. What do you think?

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:44 | 2548428 Al Huxley
Al Huxley's picture

Seems that the worse the global solvency issues get, the more blatant the lying and price manipulation becomes in the paper/futures gold world, so its hard to say, but I think the traditional late-June early-July low, is probably still a safe bet.  Regardless of what the price does, though, holding physical PMs still seems like the best insurance possible given the current global financial situation.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:16 | 2548307 CPL
CPL's picture

Yeah, he's had enough misses to start placing his percentage of failure instead of his ratio, he's well past the ten attempt pick and fail rate, best he can aim for is low to high ninities.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:17 | 2548312 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Where do I sign up to get Stolper's recommendations before everybody else does?  I want a direct electronic connection to his brain. 

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:40 | 2548409 Arnold Ziffel
Arnold Ziffel's picture


[NZ] Houses prices will drop, bank warns


The rapid rises in house prices in Auckland are unsustainable, says Westpac.

''Interest rates will not stay this low forever. We expect rates to rise substantially over the 2013 to 2015 period, as the Reserve Bank struggles to contain inflationary pressures arising from the Canterbury rebuild. Higher interest rates would put the brakes on the housing market in short order,'' Stephens said. ''And second, house prices in New Zealand remain stretched relative to incomes.''

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:15 | 2549115 ForTheWorld
ForTheWorld's picture

Yet the only way for housing prices in Australia, if you were to ask Westpac (funny how we now refer to corporations as if they were people), is up, because we have such strong fundamentals here apparently.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:07 | 2548256 bigkahuna
bigkahuna's picture

Why does this guy still have a job!?

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:13 | 2548290 101 years and c...
101 years and counting's picture

this guess is making them gobs of money.  corzining clients this quickly makes him eligible for Lloyd's lloyd prepares to take turbo's job.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:30 | 2548348 financial apoca...
financial apocalyptic contagion's picture

you called it 101

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:09 | 2548267 jbc77
jbc77's picture

Who gets these Goldman reco's? Are these large, whale type clients gettting these trading ideas? Obviously the retail guy never sniff's this garbage. Does a Goldman rep call up one of his muppets with these fantastic ideas or what?

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:13 | 2548297 Seorse Gorog fr...
Seorse Gorog from that Quantum Entanglement Fund. alright_.-'s picture

It's a bucket shop boiler room scam. Like that film. Boiler Room.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:09 | 2548270 Seize Mars
Seize Mars's picture

Wait, is it "Stolpered," or is it "Corzined?"

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:11 | 2548284 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Stolzined or Corpered either will work.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:17 | 2548311 ghengis86
ghengis86's picture

If you get Stoplered, your money will be Corzined.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:13 | 2548300 Matt
Matt's picture

Yeah, the headline tries to combine two different things.

Stolpered: when someone with a track record of being wrong 100 percent of the time gives you advice, and you lose money taking that advice.

Corzined: When you steal clients segregated funds to use as collateral for your own debts.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 16:06 | 2548550 css1971
css1971's picture

Note. It isn't quite clear if said advice is deliberately diseminated misinformation so Goldman can unload uncomfortable positions. Seems likely.

Sat, 06/23/2012 - 12:03 | 2553745 BooMushroom
BooMushroom's picture

Like the ratings agencies, they will swear up and down that it is "just an opinion."

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:15 | 2548305 I Am Not a Copp...
I Am Not a Copper Top's picture


Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:23 | 2548326 Andy Lewis
Andy Lewis's picture


Thu, 06/21/2012 - 17:17 | 2548823 ZeroAvatar
ZeroAvatar's picture

"Stol-Zucker-Zined".  Bitchez.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:10 | 2548277 Pairadimes
Pairadimes's picture

Not even a reacharound. RAND () has a better track record than these guys.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:27 | 2548280 reader2010
reader2010's picture

It's called the American Freedom.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:11 | 2548281 Northeaster
Northeaster's picture

"New Zealand’s economy looks relatively well protected against cyclical weakness" -

Maybe off-topic, but recently read that New Zealand banks are now the "go to" country for Russian money laundering? Maybe that is why they stated "protected"?

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:16 | 2548309 adr
adr's picture

Kind of like how Amazon is the go to place for Russians to sell black market aquired products.

Oh you really did think that $500 60" Samsung TV deal you saw actualy came from an authorized dealer.

Half of what is sold on the Amazon marketplace is counterfeit or stuff that fell off the backs of trucks.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 05:54 | 2550130 RECISION
RECISION's picture

Not just the money either.

Lot of Russians in NZ too - east Auckland is lousy with them.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:11 | 2548285 Seorse Gorog fr...
Seorse Gorog from that Quantum Entanglement Fund. alright_.-'s picture

Who the hell is he talking (writing) to??

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:30 | 2548350 slackrabbit
slackrabbit's picture

himself, in the nude in front of a mirror, drinking embalming fluid after three tabs and spliff......see then it aassssssaalllllllllll make sence!

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:12 | 2548291 cameldojo
cameldojo's picture

Did you hear Bob Guccione is buying the island of Lanai?

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:18 | 2548315 Piranhanoia
Piranhanoia's picture

No, it is his lanai that is being reupholstered.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:12 | 2548296 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

So do the muppets get the courtesy of a reach around with that .7% loss?

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:14 | 2548298 carbonmutant
carbonmutant's picture

I think that gave me whiplash...

I may need drugs...

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:15 | 2548303 Ineverslice
Ineverslice's picture

I wonder if a scumbag like this ever picks up the dinner-tab?

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:17 | 2548314 sgorem
sgorem's picture

I laughed so hard, I Stolpered my pants and had to wipe my Corzine with a whole roll of Zig Zags!

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:19 | 2548319 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Maybe if his name gets cross posted on many websites due to his 100% wrong calls then anyone searching his name will immediately see what a crook he is. Lawsuits are likely.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:20 | 2548321 semperfi
semperfi's picture

here's some words to describe it:

They have no fucking clue what they are doing.  They have their fat heads up their asses.  They are complete fucking morons.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 18:02 | 2548946 ZeroAvatar
ZeroAvatar's picture

semperfi:  Are you Robotrader's Mom's brother?

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:03 | 2549076 ReallySparky
ReallySparky's picture

He is Robotraders baby girl.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:21 | 2548324 walküre
walküre's picture

Where are Robotarder and Grand Supercycle today?


NO QE for you! Deflation across the globe .. for now.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 16:34 | 2548671 WVO Biker
WVO Biker's picture

Wer lesen kann ist klar im Vorteil, Walküre. Cheers

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:22 | 2548325 magpie
magpie's picture

Nobel Prize in Economics

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:29 | 2548342 El Viejo
El Viejo's picture

For Me???   Why thank you.   I will add that to my mounted diplomas from three online universities.  Maybe that will get me some respect.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:16 | 2549116 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Run over a Granny with your Choomwagon and get a Peace Prize.

That oughta do it.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:23 | 2548328 catacl1sm
catacl1sm's picture

That speed bump didn't last long. NASDAQ is getting ass-raped.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:24 | 2548329 catacl1sm
catacl1sm's picture

Fuck me. double-post

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:27 | 2548337 nomorebuyins
nomorebuyins's picture

This ramp doesn't seem like the usual violent rip. Hmmm.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:29 | 2548347 bnbdnb
bnbdnb's picture

NZD/USD correlated something like 85% with the SP500. Those idiots.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:31 | 2548356 CrimsonAvenger
CrimsonAvenger's picture

Probably the best muppet-themed song ever performed: Oscar the Grouch by Chronic (a defunct band here in Charlotte). Worth listening to if you're a funk afficionado -

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 01:15 | 2549957 Clashfan
Clashfan's picture

+1 CA! That shi-diddly-it is crack-a-lackin!

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:33 | 2548360 slackrabbit
slackrabbit's picture

Damn we should be selling this guy to Jim Chanos.

He's like an Anti-oracle!

Just trade the opposite of whatever he says and you're a winner!

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:34 | 2548375 PartysOver
PartysOver's picture

Seriously, who is better:  GS or Cramer?

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:34 | 2548377 caimen garou
caimen garou's picture

so to work for GS you need a degree in idiocy,and burgulary.the only word to describe this is BARF

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:48 | 2548448 newworldorder
newworldorder's picture

No - you need connections and they should be the right connections. Right school, friends at the FED, proof that you can rape and pilllage, etc.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:48 | 2548449 CharliePrince
CharliePrince's picture

does stoploss read zerohedge-----how embarrassing

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:51 | 2548460 vegas
vegas's picture

Damn, you just can't make this shit up. Any way we can tap into this anti-moneymaker? Can any human be 100% wrong all the fucking time for years on end? Apparently. WTF.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:56 | 2548469 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

he didn't like the EUR a short time ago when it was @~1.24

i left a tag on a string for Y/C:

  • GO LONG EUR/USD, this is stolper, for pete's sake!
  • >---> EUR/UDS goes straight up to 1.27...
Thu, 06/21/2012 - 15:52 | 2548470 PontifexMaximus
PontifexMaximus's picture

I do not understand why you hammer on Stolper: he is is still on the payroll of God's workers. Means, that he will get his bonus, because he is doing.....God's work!

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 16:03 | 2548520 Itch
Itch's picture

Look at the chart, bloodbath, what a the name of god why would anyone listen to this man? Im lost for words, the level of deviousness is just awe inspiring, and a little unnerving as these utter bastards obviously know which way the wind is blowing. Lets hope he never meets any of his clients on a bad day.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 16:10 | 2548568 alpharack
alpharack's picture

Fucking thieves. nzdusd is the most sensitive currency to risk sentiment.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 16:12 | 2548577 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

"We were completely wrong, but now we're right - honest."

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 16:33 | 2548669 potlatch
potlatch's picture

The smart and nimble investor knows that these kinds of market fluxuations are part of today's dynamic economy.  Now plz deposit more $$ into your account, muppet.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 16:26 | 2548629 100pcDredge
100pcDredge's picture


 ???? ? ?  ?   ?    ?      ? 


Thu, 06/21/2012 - 17:14 | 2548820 anyways
anyways's picture

I am a STOLPER fan! Even his name is so funny... 'stolpern' is the german word for stumble..through the trackrecord.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 17:37 | 2548889 Satan
Satan's picture

Kiwi is a classic risk on/off trade. Aside from sheep and interest rates I'm not sure what else they offer...

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 18:44 | 2549032 Catflappo
Catflappo's picture

rugby, racing and beer mate

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:33 | 2549159 celticgold
celticgold's picture

and wellies !

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 05:26 | 2550112 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

I made a small fortune investing with Goldman


had a large fortune when I started

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