Good Is Bad (Again) As Beige Book Belies Optimism

Tyler Durden's picture


The market does not seem ecstatic with the relative positivity from the Fed's Beige Book - good news is bad it seems (check to Draghi) - as via Bloomberg:


with the world cloud sending positive signals (Via the Fed)... Sales, demand, activity growth... this will never do if we are going to get NEW QE



We are sure soon enough somone will be on to point out just how bad things really are... we need our Kool Aid.

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Wed, 08/29/2012 - 14:12 | 2747249 CClarity
CClarity's picture

Natch, cuz NOT bad econ news IS bad QE 3 news.  So much for market forces.  It's all medication and manipulation forces in these "free" markets!

Wed, 08/29/2012 - 14:18 | 2747293 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Is that the "Laugh-In" font?

Sock it to me!

Wed, 08/29/2012 - 14:25 | 2747322 Hype Alert
Hype Alert's picture

It's The Bernanke Show, and these are just teasers to get you to tune in!

The hell with price discovery, put down your iPads, pull up a chair and have your popcorn ready!

Wed, 08/29/2012 - 15:39 | 2747590 Manthong
Manthong's picture

Ah, for the good ol’ days, when central banker could be good-bad, but not evil.

Nowadays, it just pure evil.

er.. Volcker had thick, wavy hair didn't he?  oh, never mind.

Wed, 08/29/2012 - 14:11 | 2747251 wee-weed up
wee-weed up's picture

Beige Book is now the Brown Book. Smells like it too!

Wed, 08/29/2012 - 14:12 | 2747252 LoneStarHog
LoneStarHog's picture

Hey, FED DISTRICT, put the damn DOOBIE down and take another look. Assholes!


Wed, 08/29/2012 - 14:12 | 2747253 max2205
max2205's picture


Wed, 08/29/2012 - 14:15 | 2747257 Jlmadyson
Jlmadyson's picture

Drink your kool-aid boys and girls!

Tastes good right?

QE3 when it will be far too late.

Fed still pulling the wool over its own eyes. July economic news was nothing but a shit sandwich with a little mustard to coat the taste heh.

Wed, 08/29/2012 - 14:14 | 2747258 ekm
ekm's picture

There is no solution. The only option left is for Primary Dealers to keep buying stocks.

Cocainated Easing will NOT bring suckers into the market, period. That is the whole point of anything, luring suckers. No chance.

Let them buy stocks until:

- They buy all market (if not already occured), no different from 2008

- Run out of money, same as MFG.

The weakest link of Primary Dealers will have to collapse in order to crap the market. No other solution. Suckers have run out of money.

Wed, 08/29/2012 - 14:12 | 2747259 RaymondKHessel
RaymondKHessel's picture

NO QE3????? Oh no!!!

Wed, 08/29/2012 - 14:12 | 2747260 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Obama, Geithner & Krugman are firing off terse emails to The Bernank demanding that he not take comfort in what likely is a false flash of recovery and that he announce his intentions of printing away even more thusly (and thrust-ly) at J-Hole on Friday...

Wed, 08/29/2012 - 14:32 | 2747346 Hype Alert
Hype Alert's picture

It seems to me the media isn't selling all this good news as hard as it has been for the last 3 years.   I wonder why?  Not really, I know why, but it is interesting to watch it play out.

Wed, 08/29/2012 - 14:13 | 2747269 Brazillionaire
Brazillionaire's picture

September 20, 2012, Malibu, CA- After yesterday’s DJIA  18 point drop, investor’s fears were calmed earlier today, as details continued to emerge regarding Operation TotCon and the impending IPO of the Federal Reserve Bank (symbol: JACK). In a prepared statement, CEO Ben Bernanke assured investors that, while the move may have caught many out-of-the-loop market watchers by surprise, the mission of the newly formed public entity would not stray from its current evolutionary path. “JACK will continue to explore new methodologies to fulfill its multi-pronged mandate of surplus cyber-currency creation, equity market magnanification, zero-fee balance sheet enhancement products, and issuance of prepared statements to calm investor’s fears,” Bernanke said. Of course, JACK will continue to add to its collection of U.S. Treasury bonds, considered by many experts to be the most complete collection of government debt products in the civilized world. “We are particularly excited about our recent purchase of the complete issue of the ‘Collector’s Edition Platinum IV’ 30-year note.” Bernanke added, “We own all of them, and they are not for sale, ever.” When pressed to provide details of possible consumer products under development, Bernanke said, “In spite of numerous and onerous regulatory issues, we have decided to move forward with the creation of a unique consumer loan product, modeled after our larger-scale European product, which we call the ‘Invisible Loan’, or ‘iLoan.’ At this point, we are confident that said regulatory hurdles can be ablated through creative modification of a previously verified technique, which we intend to call ‘Executive Branch Targeted Quantitative Easing (EBT-QE)’. iLoan clientele would be able to service their loans (independent of political considerations) through a device we refer to as the ‘iBen’, which can be safely stored in the clients lower gastrointestinal cavity and is virtually undetectable by current TSA screening procedures.” Bernanke went on to say that use of the terms “iLoan” and “iBen” would not be problematic from a copyright infringement perspective considering that JACK planned to own at least 51% of all shares of AAPL by Q3 2013. “If they make any waves over there, I’ll change their name to Lemon”, Bernanke joked.  Bernanke also briefly touched on plans, lauded by top White House officials, to create perhaps hundreds of new jobs by employing an envoy of mostly female, highly trained recent high school graduates whose main purpose will be to hang on his every word, a need that became obvious after it was decided that future JACK prepared statements would be delivered by subordinates. When asked by a reporter from Fox News about potential negative ramifications of JACK’s stated goal of total global market domination, Bernanke appeared disturbed for several seconds and finally replied, “Look at the tape… our goal is to give investors the confidence to rely on stable market activity for tens of days at a time, if not longer,” before retiring back into his Malibu Beach compound. The reporter was later arrested under provisions of the Patriot Act, with arraignment tentatively scheduled for some time after the mid-term elections.

Market makers hailed the new CEO’s remarks by embracing the “Jack-on” trading paradigm, as the DJIA rallied 1,693 points to close at 22,985 on light volume.

Sat, 09/01/2012 - 04:01 | 2754656 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

Yeah well it all seems to be "Jack-off" trading to me.  One HFT jacking off another and the 401k and pension holders are about to get the "lack of money" shot!

Wed, 08/29/2012 - 14:14 | 2747270 gunsmoke011
gunsmoke011's picture

The report certainly doesn't sound like it gives the FED much reason for additional QE. It really should not come as a Big Surprise to anyone when Ben doesn't give it to them on Friday. He will of course dangle the carrot - but in his testimony before Congress when asked what "Tools" the FED had left, he responed that language was about it. Why this market doesn't get it is beyond me - there is not going to be any new stimulous prior to the election - and after the Republicans win - there may not be much of a FED left - at least not one with such power.

Wed, 08/29/2012 - 14:17 | 2747286 HaroldWang
HaroldWang's picture

Good news is just benign, not bad. Market didn't budge. Can take this one of two ways - market doesn't care about QE3 and is more focused on EU easing or market has priced a non QE3 in already. Hard to tell.

Wed, 08/29/2012 - 14:18 | 2747292 Jlmadyson
Jlmadyson's picture

Non QE3 means goodbuy Euro.

Wed, 08/29/2012 - 14:19 | 2747288 Mugatu
Mugatu's picture

Time to put that QE carrot on a stick further out there!

Wed, 08/29/2012 - 14:19 | 2747295 Jason T
Jason T's picture

Garbage waste remains down ..

"Ten of the 20 carload commodity groups posted increases compared with the same week in 2011, with petroleum products, up 45.6 percent; farm products excluding grain, up 37.4 percent, and lumber and wood products, up 16.4 percent. The groups showing a decrease in weekly traffic included metallic ores, down 29 percent, and waste and nonferrous scrap, down 25.6 percent."

Wed, 08/29/2012 - 14:34 | 2747347 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Oscar The Grouch, "boots on the ground information sourcing machine" that he is, has run the highest return large AUM fund for 20 consecutive years, and for good reason.

They can manipulate almost any information, datum or statistic, but they can't manipulate the actual volume of garbage (which is a direct tell to knowing the actual level of consumption).

Wed, 08/29/2012 - 14:19 | 2747298 e-man
e-man's picture

The "market" used to be concerned with innovation, efficiency, growth, productivity, and the general ability of commerce to lift the American and the world's standard of living.

This current market seems solely concerned with how much money will be printed.

Are we there yet?

Wed, 08/29/2012 - 14:19 | 2747299 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Fed Says: Lies.

Wed, 08/29/2012 - 14:21 | 2747309 sablya
sablya's picture

Can we just get a healthy correction already? This flat line needs to be defibrillated ASAP!

Wed, 08/29/2012 - 14:36 | 2747360 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

No, Potter will not allow it.

Reasearch shows he is a sideways market man.

There will be no volatility, THAT IS ALL...

Wed, 08/29/2012 - 14:22 | 2747313 jtmo3
jtmo3's picture

Show of hands. Who here with a pulse actually believes that if the fed saw the economy was in the shitter, they would come out and say it? What would anyone with a brain think they were going to say? I mean, why even fucking bother?

Wed, 08/29/2012 - 14:24 | 2747316 surf0766
surf0766's picture

They can't print and they know it. All they have left is propaganda to print.

Wed, 08/29/2012 - 14:26 | 2747325 Squid Vicious
Squid Vicious's picture

"Upward wage pressure was very contained" sorry Joe sixpack... now go fill up with some $3.85 unleaded and two cans of Friskies for the kids...


Ben shalom

Wed, 08/29/2012 - 14:29 | 2747339 Jlmadyson
Jlmadyson's picture

Pretty much what I was thinking when I read that.

But, but, but 0% inflation print.

Wed, 08/29/2012 - 14:59 | 2747441 Haager
Haager's picture

Markets should hail that.

Wed, 08/29/2012 - 14:28 | 2747333 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture


BIG BUCKSstench GROWTHomg the dark lord has come


Wed, 08/29/2012 - 14:34 | 2747355 tahoebumsmith
tahoebumsmith's picture


Wed, 08/29/2012 - 14:46 | 2747388 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

'NEW-QE' lol keepin the dream alive thru billowing clouds of Hopium smoke.

Wed, 08/29/2012 - 14:58 | 2747422 Bastiat009
Bastiat009's picture

Good is bad ... that may explain all the stories about gold, the euro, the US$, debt and how the world should have ended several times over the past few years.

You remember all those stories about the gold explosion in August? It may end the month up a grand total of $25 or $50 ... that's quite an explosion. Good is bad.

Last year, the US$ was dead.

Last month, the euro was dead.

Good is bad. Black is white. 

Wed, 08/29/2012 - 15:01 | 2747450 Juan Wild
Juan Wild's picture

The Fed is the greatest HOAX since 1913! Why? Because we still believe it. It is based on a lie. So, What part did I miss? How many more QE's must we endure? Especially when in essence the FED has ALWAYS just been a QE machine? The Beige Book?! FUCKIN' HILARIOUS!!!!

Wed, 08/29/2012 - 15:11 | 2747497 Seorse Gorog fr...
Seorse Gorog from that Quantum Entanglement Fund. alright_.-'s picture

Bullish! Err, I mean bearish! Er, no, bull... Oh never mind.

Wed, 08/29/2012 - 15:15 | 2747503 youngman
youngman's picture

I can´t believe they see the increase in student loans to new highs in both volume and defaults...and say its good demand...housing to them is apartment growth...inflation is beenie babies...and no one buys them anymore...its not food and energy...employment is food stamp lines and disability lines for applications...yeah it sounds like things are just clicking along why are we still spending 1.4 triilion more than we take in if we are doing so well...why are they still buying treasuries if we are so good...

Wed, 08/29/2012 - 15:27 | 2747543 Meesohaawnee
Meesohaawnee's picture

i like this .. in the Chi Tribune. Mot worker gets 4 years for stealing secrets........Oh Jon Corzine!!! Where are you.. oh forget it. We know the rules

Wed, 08/29/2012 - 15:46 | 2747630 Remington IV
Remington IV's picture

Bill Gross is wrong again

Wed, 08/29/2012 - 15:47 | 2747637 pleseus
pleseus's picture

Yet another reason no QE

Wed, 08/29/2012 - 16:02 | 2747706 Racer
Racer's picture







I was going to put /sarc but I think they do see it like that!

Wed, 08/29/2012 - 22:41 | 2748614 analyzer_66
analyzer_66's picture

reporter: "Mr. Bernanke, Where exactly is it you are from sir?"

Bernanke: "I am from The United States of Kiss My Ass"

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!