Graphing Groupon's Grotesque Governance And "Growth"

Tyler Durden's picture


In case you hadn't noticed, Facebook is set to IPO very soon but, courtesy of, we have a breakdown of the dismal truth behind the next best thing since sliced bread - Groupon. Between their 'dodgy' growth and desperately poor governance, the SEC is showing a keen interest (or maybe just angling for a handout of IPO allocations). With a timeline from its 2007 inception through its November 2011 IPO to its recent plunge (now 70% below IPO-day highs), the events and ongoing uncertainty make for fascinating viewing.

Your rating: None

- advertisements -

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
Mon, 05/07/2012 - 17:17 | 2404755 midgetrannyporn
midgetrannyporn's picture

Groupon is just another day of fleecing the rubes. Business as usual.

Mon, 05/07/2012 - 18:11 | 2404891 NemoDeNovo
NemoDeNovo's picture

Agreed NO ONE I know in local business has ever seen a "Decent" return on their GropeOn Participation, the ONLY party the seems to benefit is GropeOn itself.  Some Cities are now even moving to ban it, not that I agree with this but find it interesting none the less.



Mon, 05/07/2012 - 18:43 | 2404984 jus_lite_reading
jus_lite_reading's picture

One of my favorite blogs (besides ZH) that called out every one of these recent BLOATED PIGS called it correctly way back when groupn first when IPO... that had a target of $6 and said to avoid it at all costs and to wait it out when EVERY WALL STREET SNAKE OIL SALESMAN SAID BUY BUY BUY!!!! 




Mon, 05/07/2012 - 20:53 | 2405246 Buck Johnson
Buck Johnson's picture

I totally forgot about Groupon, they have deflated to the point of irrelevancy.  And this will happen to Facebook also.

Mon, 05/07/2012 - 21:10 | 2405270 tarsubil
tarsubil's picture

When is the perfect time to cash in with an IPO? It seems like "after the peak and as the long slide down begins" would not be the right answer. Maybe I'm wrong.

Mon, 05/07/2012 - 22:30 | 2405382 smlbizman
smlbizman's picture

so far my all time favorite business plan was when priceline subsidized gas prices.....that was times paying .30 a gallon cheaper...i dont know why it failed!!..i bet if i had me one of those fancy phd's i would know....


Mon, 05/07/2012 - 17:19 | 2404758 fuu
fuu's picture

The Rovio IPO will save the recovery.

Mon, 05/07/2012 - 17:23 | 2404770 junkyardjack
junkyardjack's picture

Groupon was such a scam, I can't wait until the Facebook IPO so we can get some real companies to invest in...

Mon, 05/07/2012 - 17:37 | 2404802 withnmeans
withnmeans's picture

Groupon, Like all internet companies are a waste

Facebook, has its place, however I think the companies that inject their ADS on there are wasting massive amounts of money. I have talk to several hundreds of individuals and posed one question? Do you ever look at the advertising on your facebook?  Answer: Was a resounding NO!

Advertising on the Internet is a complete waste "anywhere".

When Facebook gets hammered by the lack of advertising, they will start billing for the use.

Mon, 05/07/2012 - 17:41 | 2404810 ghostfaceinvestah
ghostfaceinvestah's picture

I wonder if Facebook will have to disclose the payments they get from the NSA for tracking all their users?

Mon, 05/07/2012 - 17:43 | 2404816 withnmeans
withnmeans's picture

Before I get hammer on Groupon being like all companies on the net, I mean companies like itself, not other sales, health, charity, etc..

There are good ones out there!

Mon, 05/07/2012 - 17:43 | 2404817 Vagabond
Vagabond's picture

It's true, the first thing we all learn when getting involved in a new website is which content can be safely ignored.

Mon, 05/07/2012 - 23:17 | 2405430 cbxer55
cbxer55's picture

Advertising on any medium is a complete waste. At the most, all people do is sit there and stare at the tube not paying any attention to the shit. I change channels when I watch the tube (rarely, can't stand tv). I turn off the radio when ads come on that medium. Never ever clicked a link to an ad on these here interwebs. NEVER WILL. Never purchased any item due to advertising, NEVER WILL.

Wish they'd all go away. They're ruining every medium they are involved in.

Tue, 05/08/2012 - 00:01 | 2405516 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Support (The best d@mn Jazz on the planet!)

Mon, 05/07/2012 - 17:39 | 2404803 CH1
CH1's picture

Investing in Facebook is like backing Hitler or Mussolini.

They ARE the new Fascists.

Mon, 05/07/2012 - 17:29 | 2404788 Pancho Villa
Pancho Villa's picture

I understand that Groupon is offering a great deal on lipstick for pigs today.

Mon, 05/07/2012 - 17:51 | 2404838 Vampyroteuthis ...
Vampyroteuthis infernalis's picture

Hillary Clinton special?

Mon, 05/07/2012 - 17:34 | 2404797 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

Maybe they can sell the Facebook shares?
I wonder how many would go for a refund after 1 month :)

Mon, 05/07/2012 - 17:57 | 2404850 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

The part that makes me giggle is that a lot of people actually bought Groupon Shares. Probably, somebody I know, because I know people who have told me why they bought other stocks, "well, my broker thought it would be a good idea". It's kind of mind-boggling, actually.

Mon, 05/07/2012 - 17:39 | 2404804 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

I don't see how their issue is any different to the big banks cutting their loan loss reserves.

I guess Groupon must learn from their mistake and donate more money to their local politicians.

Mon, 05/07/2012 - 17:40 | 2404807 ghostfaceinvestah
ghostfaceinvestah's picture

Groupon is an example of market inefficiency in action. 


In a truly efficient market, it would have been possible to short, or buy puts on, GRPN on the first trading day.  But nooooo, had to wait a few days.

Mon, 05/07/2012 - 17:52 | 2404831 dognamedabu
dognamedabu's picture

To prove I haven't a clue but willing to one..


How does a stock get options? Does one need to simply write them or does somebody sit a desk somewhere going, ok stock xyz, you get options, but you bastard of stock yxz get none. 

Mon, 05/07/2012 - 18:00 | 2404853 dognamedabu
dognamedabu's picture

Didn't arrow you down, but since I am here.. I think you can't short a new stock since T+3 is in effect. You could end up naked shorting new co!! The SEC and Wall Steet both would never have that happening, in public view. 

Mon, 05/07/2012 - 19:09 | 2404927 dognamedabu
dognamedabu's picture

To further show my ignorance.. I used to think the market was Silly now that I type it.. But there was a time I thought, no way regualtors would allow this: 

Naked short selling redefining systemic risk


Then blah blah blah happened, now I am convinced the whole operation is owned by criminal bankers/money men. It's like they don't even try to hide it. 

But get caught with a joint then you are sooo busted.. Which leads me back to the same people running it all. Blah, I don't know what to tell my kids now.. Just say no, of course, but to what?

KISS Strutter


Ecit which lead me away from thinking I could trust anyone, ever. Which lead me to the conclusion that freedom is the only true path so I became an anarcho capitalist. In my world, these scum would have no rocks, called gov, to hide under..

Mon, 05/07/2012 - 19:14 | 2405048 ghostfaceinvestah
ghostfaceinvestah's picture

that's right, the shares have to be delivered before they can be borrowed, my point is there should be a better system to allow people to bet against companies from day one to prevent the kind of dumb ramp up these companies have.  Like allow naked shorting up to a certain point, say 2% of the float, for the first week of trading.

Mon, 05/07/2012 - 19:47 | 2405106 dognamedabu
dognamedabu's picture

In the current environment, that would just have those who have big red and green buttons @ GS et al profit for a few days more.  The way I trade and I hate to even say it since I bet some rat on Wall/Bay St is reading, but I trade thinly traded Canadian cos. I stay small fry so can sneak under radar. It's the wild west.. Then once in awhile I get stupid and trade on the NYSE ect.. They wipe my ass and then shove the used paper down my throat, piss on me as a chase and then get theirs people down at the paper to tell me its raining.

Mon, 05/07/2012 - 17:42 | 2404811 dognamedabu
dognamedabu's picture

Facebook is having an IPO? So that is that new number beside my amount of friends owned. Both say zero. 

Mon, 05/07/2012 - 18:07 | 2404878 penexpers
penexpers's picture


Mon, 05/07/2012 - 18:20 | 2404917 Dre4dwolf
Dre4dwolf's picture

Groupon is a ponzi scheme in its most simple and elegant form.... when they run out of new promoters and people to "enlist" the scheme will tumble to the ground like a house of cards...

Mon, 05/07/2012 - 19:28 | 2405076 Matt
Matt's picture

Well, they actually have a product and provide a sort of service. I haven't looked hard at them in particular, but even if they lost half their business, they would still operate, I suspect.

A pure ponzi owns no actual assets and just takes money from new people and gives them in distributions to the older members. In this case, the number of new people must always exceed existing or leaving members, or it will collapse quickly. 

Not every failed business is a ponzi; sometimes its just a plain old failure.

Mon, 05/07/2012 - 18:21 | 2404923 crawldaddy
crawldaddy's picture

I laugh at Linked in as well. How is that a 100 buck stock. Its a site for unemployed people to annoy others, little more.

Mon, 05/07/2012 - 18:48 | 2404997 dognamedabu
dognamedabu's picture

So true.. I get these messages going buddy is waiting for you accept him. Accept him? To what? Have him sell me insurance? It's worse than FB since instead of old hottie from HS, a guy ends up with people full of BS.. Which I understand both can be true, but old hottie for HS is way more interesting, however, not 90 or so billion more interesting. And to add..In the last 3000 days, the only ad I have clicked on was here at ZH and even then I thought no, I shouldn't, yet the chick in the short TShirt convinced me otherwise. 


But I do suddenly get to sit through many 5 sec of ad on You Tube.. Which, by any business model, is the best way to attract attention. Still never buy anything from it, but..The way of the future..Thanks Google!!


Mon, 05/07/2012 - 19:21 | 2405060 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

and why didnt they take Googles money again ?????????????????????

Tue, 05/08/2012 - 05:33 | 2405738 Sokhmate
Sokhmate's picture

I'd venture, because google offer was not priced in groupons!

Mon, 05/07/2012 - 19:42 | 2405100 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

Another CNBC  favorite. The pumpers rolling

Mon, 05/07/2012 - 20:10 | 2405142 zebra
zebra's picture

at the beginning, they do get some good deals. but now they are mostly just junk mails to me.


Mon, 05/07/2012 - 23:13 | 2405450 cbxer55
cbxer55's picture

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^BROKEN RECORD!^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Tue, 05/08/2012 - 00:28 | 2405546 GNWT
GNWT's picture

JM - 


He who knows does not speak and he who speaks does not know.


If you are doing those numbers, why share?


Just asking?

Stay liquid my friends...



Mon, 05/07/2012 - 23:27 | 2405474 Blkhat117
Blkhat117's picture

Groupon = Grouponzi Get it LOL

Tue, 05/08/2012 - 02:23 | 2405620 Jason Bourne
Jason Bourne's picture

Groupon a fucking retail parasite.  The pricks almost taught consumers to expect massive discounts at all retail outlets.  There model allowed businesses that should have failed in a market with normal market forces to have a last bullshit gasp at life while weakening the stronger businesses all the while creating a discounting culture. As a bonus Groupon acheived this while making no profit - a true fucking parasite in the retail scene.


Fuck Groupon its leadership and particularly its backers.



Tue, 05/08/2012 - 11:04 | 2406635 Rinku
Rinku's picture

Does any one please guide me how to make this graphics, need to expose more villains

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 23:26 | 2422661 qiongqiong
qiongqiong's picture

Coach Factory Outlet
Coach Outlet USA
Coach Wallets
Cheap Coach Purses
Coach Outlet
Coach Purses Outlet
Coach Factory Outlet Online
Coach Outlet
Coach Store Outlet
Coach Outlet Online
Coach Outlet
Coach Factory Online
Coach Factory Store
Coach Bags
Nike Air Max

Our Coach Factory Outlet goal is to let everyone be able to buy the Coach Outlet USA for her own. Coach Wallets or Cheap Coach Purses in the cheap Coach Purses Outlet are available now with the best condition and Coach Outlet in the lowest price. Coach products from Coach Factory Outlet Online have classic design yet in top fashion sense. The artwork of Coach in the Coach Outlet is so delicate and distinctive, perfect in details. Coach Store Outlet is a great Coach Outlet Online store not only selling top Coach Bags but also other Coach accessories. Coach Outlet does not let you down on Coach quality, design and workmanship. Coach Factory Online also is a good place for you to enjoy Coach items. In this Coach Factory Store, you could get the best Coach Bags at the best price. So are other Coach accessories, like Coach shoes, Coach wallets or Coach jewelries. Of course, if you love other brand shoes, Nike Air Max is a top one for you! Welcome!

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!