Grauniad Rejected - Germany Denies All Rumors

Tyler Durden's picture

Nobody could have possibly foreseen that the Guardian was literally pulling BS out of its ass:


Have fun with this lunatic, patently fake news driven shitshow that the "market" has become. We are out.


Turns out it doesn't.


From Reuters:

Germany says did not discuss EU bond buying plan at G20 summit

There was no discussion at a G20 summit in Mexico this week about using Europe's rescue funds to buy up the bonds of stricken members of the euro zone, a German government official said.

British media reports on Tuesday said German Chancellor Angela Merkel was poised to use Europe's dual bailout funds, known as the EFSF and ESM, to buy up the debt of countries like Italy and Spain and had discussed the plans at the summit.

"Secondary market bond purchases are one of many instruments available to the EFSF and ESM," a German government official told Reuters, speaking on condition of anonymity.

But he added: "There was no discussion here in Los Cabos about any concrete intitiatives" related to such purchases.

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slaughterer's picture

He he,  Tyler said "shitshow."

t_kAyk's picture

"We are out."

Finally drove Tyler to drinking.  It's 5 o'clock somewhere... 

Popo's picture

Does anyone not know this is a comedy?   (Except of course for the poor European ministers who still hope to be taken seriously).

101 years and counting's picture

amazing how this "news" pops just as the spx hits the 61.8 fib retrace.  absolutely pathetic how all news flow is based on current "market" (i use the term market very lightly, since it really isnt one) prices.

TruthInSunshine's picture

The Guardian is the new tabloid-esque Sun.

Front page stories of Alien Abductions, boobies galore on pages 2A through 15A.

Global Hunter's picture

its a paper that is read by the newly crowd...newly graduated newly unemployed

francis_sawyer's picture

The Brits have to host Wimbledon, the 'Open' Championship, & the Olympics all within the next month...

Anybody will tell you anything to keep the next party from being interrupted...

TruthInSunshine's picture

In reality, it's not the "world vs. Germany" on eurobonds or German taxpayer gifting of trillions (now and in the future) to the PIIGS+U.K.

In reality, it is the two financial capitals of cancerous fractional reserve central bank dependant 'member banks,' who are stuffed to the gills with the 'sovereign bonds' of the PIIGS, and consequently need another multi-trillion dollar bailout (the biggest to date).

So, it's New York & London (represented by Cameron and Obama, both funded, backed and, consequently, carrying water for Goldman, JP Morgan, Barclays, etc) vs German taxpayers.

The U.S. President and British Prime Minister, both bought and paid for puppets of Wall Street & London Lords of Finance, need to vacuum up the northern europeans' savings and pledge their future wealth, so as to allow Wall Street & London institutions to extend and pretend as they continue to bleed capital, using northern european money to plug holes in their sinking vessels - which will inevitably capsize anyways (but the Captains and crews want to silently steal the remaining lifeboats in the middle of the night).

Divided States of America's picture

Yeah but the problem is, market ramps up on said rumor and market doesnt go back down on said rebuttal of rumor, hence, rumor mongering is the way to go.

Marginal Call's picture

I wondered what caused the first drawback on the ES all forking day.  Oh well, back to the afternoon QE rumor ramp.

Aziz's picture

Tyler's knowledge of the Grauniad's (sic) history of awful typos suggests he perhaps worked in the UK for a while. Kind of thing you only learn living here.

CrimsonAvenger's picture

It sounded like a huge mythological beast to me, like the Kraken or Rosie O'Donnell.

e_goldstein's picture

"It's always after noon somewhere in the world."


Sudden Debt's picture

Wasn't it "it's always 8 o'clock in the morning somewhere" to start drinking?

Gief Gold Plox's picture

That's exactly right! I've only just recently abandoned that and instituted the new and improved method of: "It's always... Fuck, I'm sober again..."

Michael's picture

It's like that subjective bullshit statement; "it's a crisis of confidence". No, it's an objective crisis of sovereigns not having enough money to pay their national debts and the whole system being bankrupt.

e_goldstein's picture

Sorta. It's an objective crisis of sovereigns whose politicians and leaders sold out their people to the banks for the promise of eternal spending when instead what they got was eternal debt.

But yes, the whole stinking global system is bankrupt.

battle axe's picture

These idiots are going to try anything to see if it works.......

Buck Johnson's picture

When they start to tell the big whoppers, they are getting desperate.  Another lie will be coming up by morning.

transaccountin's picture

should be back at days high in a moment. cant disturb the fraud

Popo's picture

Breaking:  Government minister found dead floating in hot tub with multiple stabwounds to the back.   Heart attack suspected.    

Breaking:  German government to buy Greek debt at 1% above market.   You must believe.  Do not doubt.  You must believe.  Do not doubt...


icanhasbailout's picture

The problem is these mega-market-moving rumors are all somewhat credible, no matter how incredible they may seem

bdc63's picture

.... Germany sure has gotten fast at the whole 'rumor denial' thingy ....

CClarity's picture

They have a "nein" button they just push now.  Why not?  Energy efficient.

Ropingdown's picture

Of course Germany has learned to blitz the French trench-digging.  It is so transparently a PR war of rumors and pressure by France, its indentured servants Spain and Italy, and a part of The City which wants joint-and-several liability for its euro-zone credits...against Germany.  It is high time Holland, Sweden, Denmark, and Austria spoke up on Germany's behalf. I note FM Borg of Sweden has started to, as well as some of the others.  The issue is serious and the outcome will be momentous.  Yielding to France's transparent ploys would be the wrong answer for the entire north. No?

Ghordius's picture

it looks like you prefer a political systems where everything is decided behind closed doors? ah, I forgot, trading likes the breezes of rumor and all those politicians don't breeze the right way.

I forgot that many democratic systems had to bow before the logic of the markets. or was it some of the market participants' special interest groups? I forgot

hedgeless_horseman's picture



Zee Germans have always been very efficient at killing things, rumors included.

Bastiat's picture

Plodding pikers compared to Stalin and Mao. 

OttoMBMP's picture

Is it a carpet bomber saying that?

pschwammerl's picture

could someone please end this...its getting tiring

Bizaro World's picture

It is such a freaking joke....the market that is....look out below!  At least until the next fabricated BS "we'll save the union" rumor starts up. I'm becoming a day trader to take advantage of this joke of a market rumor ramp and reality bites/blows.... with my play money at least.

Crab Cake's picture

It took ten years for financial and economic shocks to fully morph into socio political shocks in the great depression, and you should expect nothing less this time.

GeneMarchbanks's picture

'Have fun with this lunatic shitshow that the "market" has become. We are out.'

What does that even mean? Surely this can't be the first time a British publication has lied?

So many questions remain.

CrashisOptimistic's picture


Buy bonds and plan to sell before the debt ceiling fiasco.

Buy nothing but tangible things, which gold is NOT.  Gold's value is in the minds of people and nowhere else.

Farmland's value is in the stomachs of people.  Buy that.

GeneMarchbanks's picture


Histrionics. He was testifying before some meaningless public entity today. Be back tomorrow. Jeez, relax man.

CrashisOptimistic's picture

Who testifies where is irrelevant to there being no market.

Buy farmland.  There's nothing else.

slaughterer's picture

Last opportunity to buy ES below 1360 before QE3.  Hurry up!  Shitshow is a calling you to give Wall Street your money.  

Marginal Call's picture

Pfft.  I'll be selling tomorrow.   Look at all the long inventory that's gonna get run out after the minutes. 

Deep79's picture

Whoever wrote that in gurdian should be investigated


bdc63's picture

like THAT'S going to happen

shovelhead's picture

Alien Invasion Imminent.

Market surges on hopes of new investors.


bdc63's picture

"Alien Invasion"?! ... I just got my mind around the moon crashing into the earth & now I gotta worry about a feak'in alien invasion?

t_kAyk's picture

Say it with me: B-U-L-L-I-S-H