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As Greek Banks Run Out Of Safe Deposit Boxes, An Eerie Calm Takes Over The Country 24 Hours Before D-Day

Tyler Durden's picture


A day before the Greek D-Day, which was unexpectedly punctuated with a surprising last-minute Greek victory in Euro2012 over Russia, sending the country into the elimination rounds (a Greece vs Germany game would be quite interesting) which may have rekindled patriotic spirits just enough to boost Syriza's chance that little bit more, the Greek bank trot, which was a jog some days ago, has surprisingly not metastazied into a full blown sprint. And with an all too real possibility that Greece may leave the Eurozone in as little as 24 hours, this is somewhat unexpected: after all taking physical possession of electronic money is merely a free put on the return to the Drachma, and currency (and debt) devaluation. On Monday it may simply be too late. Surely, most locals have figured this out.

Spiegel reports: "Joanna Stavropoulos is not proud of what she has done. "I had a guilty conscience when I withdrew my money from Greece," says the 43-year-old. Of course she knew what would happen if everybody does the same: Greece's banks would be threatened with collapse. But she says she had to think of her two-month-old daughter, Josephina, who is currently asleep on Joanna's shoulder. Increasing numbers of Greeks are following Joanna Stavropoulos' example and emptying their accounts. They are afraid that Greece may leave the euro zone and return to the drachma.... Stavropoulos is one of the few people who know very well what this scenario would look like in concrete terms.. She has also lived in Zimbabwe, where three-digit inflation destroyed the currency. Joanna is sure that Greece could face the same thing if it returns to the drachma. "My country is going downhill," she says." And yet instead of taking the cash and converting it into something of real value, what has happened is that the €50 billion now hidden in various homes has led to a surge in home burglaries. As a result, Greeks are forced to worry not only about their currency returning, but about being robbed. End result: take the cash, but park it back at your bank: "Many customers have left their money in the bank itself, Christiana says -- but in a safe deposit box rather than in their accounts. "It's currently impossible to find a free safe deposit box in a Greek bank," she says." We wonder what happens when these same people try to access their "safe deposit boxes" should the entire banking system collapse. Then again, nobody said a currency union disintegrating was a logical, rational and orderly process...

Oddly enough, despite the all too real dangers of a complete lock out by and of the local banks, Greeks refuse to believe that the worst case scenario could realistically happen:

There is still little sign of panic in Greece, and there has not been a stampede to the banks. Nevertheless, people are withdrawing hundreds of millions of euros from the banks every day. In May alone, outflows totaled €5 billion. According to official figures, €80 billion has been withdrawn since the start of the crisis.

Which however is not to say that most people have not already commenced preparations:

Christiana (not her real name) can see the capital flight every day with her own eyes. The 46-year-old, who wishes to remain anonymous, works as an asset manager at a large Greek bank. "It's not just that it is increasing," she says of the withdrawals. It's not only major customers who have been taking out money in recent months, she explains, but all kinds of clients, from account holders with a few hundred euros to the bank's most important private customers. "Naturally, the wealthy ask particularly often what they should do with their money," she says.


Rich Greeks have long been moving billions to countries such as Italy or Switzerland, or buying luxury properties in London. But overall, according to estimates by the Greek central bank, only about one-fifth of the total money withdrawn has gone abroad. Many customers have left their money in the bank itself, Christiana says -- but in a safe deposit box rather than in their accounts. "It's currently impossible to find a free safe deposit box in a Greek bank," she says.


Those customers clearly don't want to be surprised by a currency reform. There has long been speculation over how that could work. The banks could close over a weekend, take stock of the euro holdings in their accounts and prevent further transfers to foreign accounts. Euro bills which are already in circulation would be marked with stamps. The export of unmarked bills would be prevented at the borders. Within a short time, the drachma could be reintroduced.


If it gets that far, Marianna's clients want to be prepared. Like Christiana, she also works as an asset consultant at a Greek bank, And like Christiana, she does not want her real name to be used. Her clients are lawyers, doctors or top managers. "On average, they have between €200,000 and €300,000, which they can withdraw at any time," Marianna says.

Not unexpectedly, the local thieves have figured out what is going on too. And all that physical cash sitting in various homes is just too tempting:

Quite a few wealthy clients also tell Marianna that they are keeping their money at home. Many people are apparently doing the same thing. Greeks now have around €50 billion stashed at home, reports the Greek newspaper Ta Nea, citing the Greek Finance Ministry. Burglaries are increasing as a result. In Crete, they have gone up by 700 percent within two years. Burglars recently stole €50,000 in cash from a house of an old couple in Athens.


The crisis may now increase the social divide in Greece, just as it has done many times in recent years. While members of the upper class have long managed to stash their money in safe places, a possible currency reform and the subsequent devaluation would probably hit many low-income earners unprepared.

In retrospect, the threat of robbery may pale in comparison with the consequences of a coordinated global bank holiday:

Even a cosmopolitan woman like Joanna Stavropoulous has been overwhelmed in her attempts to come up with the right strategy. In 2010, as the signs of Greece's economic crash intensified, she moved her savings to a Spanish bank. Then Spain's economy got into trouble. She moved her money back to Greece -- until the next bout of bad news. She has paid more than €100 ($125) in bank fees alone, she says, due to the constant movement of her money.


When her daughter was born, Stavropoulos paid €12,000 for the birth, a sum that is not considered unusual in private Greek clinics. Now, she has barely any money left. She has now invested the last of her savings in foreign currency, hoping that they will hold their value if Greece returns to the drachma.

Yet the most ironic moment in the Greek denouement will come when fractional reserve lending collapses onto itself:

Stavropoulos and her friends have a new strategy to deal with their daily expenses. "We charge everything to our credit cards," she says. If the Greek banks fail, they won't be able to collect the outstanding debts, she argues. "If they want to mess me around, I will do the same to them."

In other words, Greece is now America, where the vast majority of people also live on credit alone, and have taken up the following motto when dealing with banks: "you pretend to be solvent, we pretend to have money."

At the end of the day, it is all just one big global monetary circle jerk, only this time in reverse, as the snake of fractional reserve banking has finally started to eat its own tail. With people spending money they don't have, and in debt to their eyeballs to a banking system that itself is just as insolvent, is there any wonder that nobody really panics any more over daily threats the grand reset is finally coming?


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Sat, 06/16/2012 - 19:03 | 2532760 Mongo
Mongo's picture

Why do I get the feeling that Greeks will not vote against the Euro... they want to get raped... pillaged and finally conquered by the financial oligarchs (oh... they already got past that point... )

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 19:17 | 2532777 veyron
veyron's picture

So long as the ouzo flows ...

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 19:33 | 2532811 SilverTree
SilverTree's picture

The Impending Economic Collapse with Survivalist James Wesley Rawles

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 20:10 | 2532861 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



Banner ad at the top of this page for me, now, is CIT Bank telling me, "don't get burned," and to open a savings account with them.  



Nov. 1 (Bloomberg) -- CIT Group Inc, a 101-year-old commercial lender, filed for bankruptcy to cut $10 billion in debt after the credit crunch dried up its funding and a U.S. bailout and debt exchange offer failed.


CIT listed $71 billion in assets and $64.9 billion in debt ina Chapter 11 filing in U.S. Bankruptcy Court in Manhattan. The U.S. Treasury Department said the government probably won’t recover much, if any, of the $2.3 billion in taxpayer money that went to CIT.

Oh, the irony!

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 20:37 | 2532900 BooMushroom
BooMushroom's picture

Don't get burned! We will pay you 0.4% interest on your savings. Not indexed for inflation, of course.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 22:10 | 2533004 AldousHuxley
AldousHuxley's picture

Greeks should maximize their credit and bet the farm on greek banks....short NBG


if banking falls, they profit.....if banks are bailed out, they can declare bankruptcy and stick it to them.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 23:58 | 2533147 Element
Element's picture


Isn't NATO getting ready to bomb that?

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 00:52 | 2533203 The Monkey
The Monkey's picture

Instead of the world completely falling in on itself, how about a really shitty decade with private sector deleveraging, chronic unemployment, mild deflation, rising protectionism and near zero world growth?

This is the era Gary Shilling has forecast. Get ready.

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 03:35 | 2533333 THX 1178
THX 1178's picture

I think it will be more of a KABOOM...

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 11:23 | 2533861 AldousHuxley
AldousHuxley's picture

Californian financial advisors heading to greece to teach them how to run deficit ridden government on IOUs as money.

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 12:40 | 2534092 Hulk
Hulk's picture

rumor is that California will be joining the EU...

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 07:10 | 2533453 smb12321
smb12321's picture

I too have thought the end of the world talk was absurd.  But here's the difference.  A place like Estonia could survive REAL austerity, hardships and suffering because they were used to it under communism.   They had not experienced for decades the liberty that we in the West have (yeah, yeah, we're all sheeple slaves). 

I daresay Poland or Hungary or Romania could withstand a collapse but Italy, Spain, France?  Fugget about it.   The true idiots would be marching in the streets demanding (what else?) greater State action to save them.  How delusional can one get?

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 08:38 | 2533523 snowlywhite
snowlywhite's picture

you're wrong; looking at my countrymen(Romania), they learnt really well the mantra of "state should do something".

Plus, what you don't understand is the way communism shaped the mentality; you have a dictator(sure, he's an imbecile) and you're trained to think that it doesn't matter too much what you do, since ultimately what that idiot decides is what matters. Helps alot in running from responsability.

surviving; yes, we're 1k times better prepared, obviously. Actually solving the underlying problems? Doubt it.

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 12:42 | 2534101 potlatch
potlatch's picture

NATO is operating at a level or two above that.  NATO is behind the global collapse of banks.  Like the euro?  You will like the nato even better.  the nato = Not A Tender Offer.


It's an offer we can't refuse.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 21:41 | 2532972 darkpool2
darkpool2's picture

Dealt with the old CIT on the factoring side,.to say they were morons is the understatement of the year. When they went under, i was so pleased. Assuming they still employ a lot of the same idiots, i would just say Stay the Fuck Away

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 00:10 | 2533160 JOYFUL
JOYFUL's picture

I shared yur pleasure, at the time, only to discover that 'failure' & bankruptcy in the banking industry don't mean 'death' - only that the corspe is reanimated using taxpayer funds, and then roams the countryside, looking for new clients\fresh meat...

at the time, it was the 4th largest bankruptcy in US history....ho hum.....“This thing doesn’t have a future,” CreditSights analyst David Hendler said yesterday in a telephone interview. “Anything is possible but the problem is not solvable anymore. They’re just in denial it’s finally over,” the New York-based analyst said referring to the rescue financing.” “The century-old lender that finances about 1 million businesses from Dunkin’ Brands Inc. to Eddie Bauer Holdings Inc. is “continuing to evaluate alternatives” after failing to convince the U.S. government to back its debt, the New York- based company said July 16 in a statement.” ...

4 months later, the thing without a future had transformed itself from an entity providing small bizness with cash flow and leased equipment into yet another blood sucking parasite on an already crippled body. What better illustration of the death by small cuts of Merikan enterprise could there ever be than this story???

And they dare to call this  ZOMBIE NATION  a "free market" economy.

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 12:45 | 2534106 potlatch
potlatch's picture

some people think all this zombie chatter is just a stupid joke.  Well it is a joke.  But as we all know, there are times when jokes tell the truth better than any dry account or enumeration.  This is why poets never are at risk of becoming obsolete: some things are just fuckin epic.


And the zombie apocalypse...  it is not just some joke.  It has "purchase" as we say in the faculty lounge...

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 05:36 | 2533388 Redhotfill
Redhotfill's picture

Arent they based in Salt Lake City.  If I remember right 12 or so years ago they got the Utah momo legislature to allow "digital" signatures to enforce loan agreements,  I think Utah has a 15 year statute of limitations on written contracts because of these folks.  These were also the same MoMO's that financed all those buy a Dell computer at the Dell website with no credit. Lulz  I wonder how this will effect Dell?

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 01:06 | 2533218 prodigious_idea
prodigious_idea's picture

Mine is "Jesus Christ is Lord" for a Christian singles dating site.  I'm not Christian or single and unless it's the online gun stores I've been frequenting lately I can't imagine the demographic connection.

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 12:47 | 2534113 potlatch
potlatch's picture

I keep getting asked to join a Christian Adult Porn site.  I never even knew there were such things.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 21:11 | 2532939 CompassionateFascist
CompassionateFascist's picture

  Rawles excellent as usual, except the part about "getting good with God". Never mind God. Get good with your M1A. It, not God, will blast through a cinderblock wall at 250 yards.

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 05:48 | 2533393 TWSceptic
TWSceptic's picture

Looks like 5 christians lack faith in the M1A.

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 09:20 | 2533582 Colonial Intent
Colonial Intent's picture

Point the M1A at those christians and they'll start believing it pretty damn quickly.

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 13:19 | 2534202 neidermeyer
neidermeyer's picture

I had to sell my M1 a year ago ,, but I have it's WW2 opponent ,, a K98 in 8mm ... it too will punch through at 250 yards ...

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 23:28 | 2533114 Bunker Boy
Bunker Boy's picture

Jim Rawles has been calling this for several years...

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 10:17 | 2533692 Hulk
Hulk's picture

Its the first time though, that he has said gather up your things and get out of Dodge...

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 19:25 | 2532787 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

Whatever. The 20th they run out of money!
Wednesday! And germany already said NEIN!!
Whoever wins, they won't get money.
They'll only have money if they go to the drachma, even if it's highly hyperinflated. There just isn't anything left to pay the cops with.

And as we all know, cops only beat down citizens when they're being paid.

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 09:30 | 2533604 andrewp111
andrewp111's picture

And when the cops are not paid, they become robbers - and they are the only organized robbers with real firepower and the training to use it.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 19:32 | 2532806 Waffen
Waffen's picture

200 to 300k euros in the bank? Are these people insane?

I sincerely hope no zerohedgers are making this same mistake?

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 19:35 | 2532814 Waffen
Waffen's picture

The normalcy bias is at Titanic levels.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 20:00 | 2532847 THX 1178
THX 1178's picture

TIT-anic levels?

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 20:01 | 2532849 THX 1178
THX 1178's picture

Yeccchh. I should be shot.

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 12:48 | 2534119 potlatch
potlatch's picture

you will be.  The round ups are scheduled for July.

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 05:37 | 2533390 Redhotfill
Redhotfill's picture


Sat, 06/16/2012 - 22:37 | 2533045 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

When will people wake up to the fact that currencies only come under threat when they do not possess intrinsic value. The Euro will not be an exception to this rule.

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 04:18 | 2533354 Dugald
Dugald's picture

FREE Safety deposit boxes....strewth, do the Greeks pay for anything??????

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 12:50 | 2534127 potlatch
potlatch's picture

The Greeks think they are getting residuals from having invented Western Civilization.  But sadly, we live in an uncivil world, and those contracts are expired.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 19:05 | 2532761 death_to_fed_tyranny
death_to_fed_tyranny's picture


Sat, 06/16/2012 - 22:21 | 2533018 lewy14
lewy14's picture

You understand?

You know what I'm saying?

Fuck off to the people up front, Fuck off to the people in the back, Fuck off to the bartender, Fuck off to the waitresses, Fuck off to the dj, Fuck off, Fuck off to the lady with the beer over there in the pink skirt, Fuck off to all them mean english girls named Charisse... Fucking blonde english girls with ghetto names you know what I'm saying?

I love that shit.

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 07:22 | 2533461 flattrader
flattrader's picture

I think that is what she's sayin re: this--


>>>Stavropoulos and her friends have a new strategy to deal with their daily expenses. "We charge everything to our credit cards," she says.<<<


You go girl!!!

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 12:52 | 2534131 potlatch
potlatch's picture

I think we have found the bottom of the market, eh?  Hell, wish I had some credit cards.  I'm too pure lol.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 19:08 | 2532763 kill switch
kill switch's picture

As the world runs out lets enjoy!!!

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 19:11 | 2532769 JeremyWS
JeremyWS's picture

If I was in greece I would be converting all my money to USD and gold don't care if their bereau de change gave me 1.15 EURUSD or 1800 for gold. Better than keeping in greek banks.

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 09:34 | 2533613 andrewp111
andrewp111's picture

If Greek or Spanish citizens can use US Treasury Direct, they should. But link your account to a German bank account, not a Greek or Spanish one.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 19:12 | 2532771 Boilermaker
Boilermaker's picture

D-DAY?  Please.  Like the ECB and the entire powers in Europe and the elite in the rest of the world are going to allow any outcome of the 'elections' other than they one they want.

Seriously.  Stop it.

This will be a Saddam style election.

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 00:03 | 2533153 wandstrasse
wandstrasse's picture

German Newspapers are warning / fear mongering, the IMF is warning / fear mongering... this is quite a reliable sign that total and complete collapse will NOT happen for a few more weeks...

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 01:25 | 2533231 Michael
Michael's picture

That should read; Complete and total economic collapse.

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 05:06 | 2533383 wandstrasse
wandstrasse's picture


Sun, 06/17/2012 - 09:26 | 2533593 Never One Roach
Never One Roach's picture

Hank Paulson is the Best Feear Monger...his hands trembling...his vocie quivering he warns the end of the world is near ...IF banks don't get money....

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 11:23 | 2533860 Boilermaker
Boilermaker's picture

Don't forget that it was a two page contract in which he nor his cronies could ever be held accountable, nor audited, nor even questioned on the matter ever again.  And, he had full discrection to literally do WHATEVER he saw fit with the money.  You know, just to complete the scene.

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 12:54 | 2534137 potlatch
potlatch's picture

Saddam style??


Come on.  This is pro level. 


I expect Eisenhower to win.  Everyone likes Ike. 

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 19:15 | 2532774 jo6pac
jo6pac's picture

They need to do the Niceland thing good-by euro and banksters

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 12:55 | 2534140 potlatch
potlatch's picture

pretty sure Iceland has an economy the size of my next door neighbor.


and has a population of like 900 people.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 19:27 | 2532775 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

Gold silver?
Doesn't anybody figure out how to save their wealth anymore?

Jeezz... I remember 2008 when the crisis started and they talked about bank hollidays... I started buying silver and gold asap.
I'm glad I did it and still doing it. All savings are in silver now and it's not a investment for me, just a savings deposit.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 20:54 | 2532918 Doña K
Doña K's picture

I was reading “1492 The Year Our Word Began” by Felipe Fernández-Armesto and the following excerpt from page “209” rang a bell.

(Circa late 14 century)
“….European merchants bound for China had to take silver with them – at the risk of impoverishing Europe further by draining bullion eastward – because the Chinese would accept nothing else. At the frontier, they had to hand the silver over to imperial customs officials and accept paper money in exchange. This, for the backward Europeans, was a novelty that demanded explanation and reassurance…….

Sounds familiar?

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 21:13 | 2532943 jumbo maverick
jumbo maverick's picture

The Chinese leaders ordered Chinese citizens to use fiat money if they did not penalty for Chinese citizenism was death.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 22:47 | 2533058 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

The USA is a lot more civilzed as was shown with the treatment of Not Haus. Another variation is the forfeiture of your semi useless paper money for totally useless bonds in the social security trust fund.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 23:14 | 2533101 I am Jobe
I am Jobe's picture

USA is on the path to Pussification , donlt forget that.


Sun, 06/17/2012 - 01:33 | 2533238 FrankDrakman
FrankDrakman's picture

How can we? No more jumbo sodas, no frappuccinos, no transfats, no salt, can't exercise your freedom of speech except quasi-anonymously on the intertubes, can't call out the SCOAMF cause it'd be racist, can't call out Lloyd and his pals cause it'd be anti-Semitism, can't call out Maxine or Nancy cause it'd be misogynist, etc, etc.

Nutjobs like Breitvik in Norway are just the weakest links who snapped early. I'm a tolerant and patient man, but even I have a point where I can be pushed too far. If they keep shutting down normal peoples' lives, the levee's gonna break.

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 01:47 | 2533254 WezTheJuic
WezTheJuic's picture

Yes.  To how this starts, is also to how this ends.   Now will that madness hold true, to which on how those ends are achieved?


Sun, 06/17/2012 - 12:59 | 2534152 potlatch
potlatch's picture

Funny, I don;t see any other Power fielding aircraft carrier fleets in very goddam ocean in the world.


Seriously.  Do you mean the avg citizen?  lol.  That is not the US.  The US is a global military platfrom for the securitization of last resort of global capital.  Come on.  What, we have the 7th Fleet because we like boats?  Come on.  Think, Mitt.

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 00:28 | 2533178 buckethead
buckethead's picture

Extra points for the usage of the term "citizenism".

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 06:51 | 2533447 Moe Howard
Moe Howard's picture

Cue the retard next up.

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 13:02 | 2534161 potlatch
potlatch's picture

you rang?

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 03:24 | 2533325 AnAnonymous
AnAnonymous's picture

“….European merchants bound for China had to take silver with them – at the risk of impoverishing Europe further by draining bullion eastward


How? Is it not the song of US citizens that trade is mutually benefitial.

They did not impoverish themselves, but enriched both sides.

Stick with the program.

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 09:10 | 2533566 Colonial Intent
Colonial Intent's picture

Dont worry, the british got all the silver back when they got the chinese hooked on opium.

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 00:19 | 2533171 Vigilante
Vigilante's picture

@sudden debt

Obviously you don't know Greece.

It's virtually impossible to find investment-grade gold or silver here.

Hence the stuffed matresses

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 11:50 | 2533918 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

Oh please. It's freaking easy!
Ever heard of the internet?
I can load up from 50 sites and buy for 200k a day without anybody noticing if I wanted to!
People are lazy and just do what the rest does.
If everybody starts pullign euros, they do it do.


Borderchecks plus confiscation of non market eurobills!
The ordinairy citizen won't be able to pay with common euro's in greece and getting them our will be a pain in the ass.
A bank holliday of 1 week is enough to pull back in 75% of all notes!

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 13:06 | 2534142 potlatch
potlatch's picture

I make bird houses out of popsicle sticks.  An entire garage full so far.  Those are going to turn a pretty penny when this all settles down.



"Yes sir, guaranteed.  Those are pre-war popsickle sticks, yup.  And nope, that glue is too, so no need to worry about it containing human parts.  And yes, I agree, anything to remind one of the Time Before is worth it.  Yes, that will be 25 troy ounces for that one, yes."

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 19:18 | 2532778 Dr. No
Dr. No's picture

Some are in for a big surprise thinking their stuff is safe in a safe deposit box.....

Not only a banker between you and your money but also a vault, lock box and questionaire needing completion if they choose to allow you to remove your property.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 19:36 | 2532817 Amish Hacker
Amish Hacker's picture

It's not hard to imagine an executive order to the banks that safe deposit boxes are to be accessed only in the presence of an agent of the IRS.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 20:07 | 2532862 wee-weed up
wee-weed up's picture

I don't think TPTB will fuck around with the IRS... no, it will be the newly created Bureau of Confiscation.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 22:47 | 2533059 New_Meat
New_Meat's picture

IRS agent shows up for work on Monday and gets a notice: "You have been reassigned to the Bureau of Confiscation; no need to put on that fake façade that you have been faking for lo these many years."

- Ned

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 00:11 | 2533161 wandstrasse
wandstrasse's picture

what about 'Ministry of Plenty'?

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 22:13 | 2533008 JackT
JackT's picture

Why bother, just dump the contents, photograph, and move on

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 01:06 | 2533217 Darlington
Darlington's picture

......also not hard to imagine the backhander for the agent to turn a blind eye,

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 20:09 | 2532863 TorchFire
TorchFire's picture

Hahaha! Deposit box? What kinda damn fool gets a deposit box as a shield for those things they are seeking to protect in the event of economic chaos? Anyone with a mildly strategic mind can devise countless methods of securing valuables in a cloak of invisibility. Of course it is not convenient to do so and most fat assed, TV addicted citizens of western "nations" are not only too mind numbed to fathom any threat, but far too lazy to give any thought to creatively securing resources even if they knew confiscation was a high probability. damn tired of trying to inform idiots of the obvious. Ignorant fucks.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 21:06 | 2532932 msamour
msamour's picture

I would get a deposit box, I would put a frozen cod in it, then after a few days, it thaws out. Stinky vault, it's almost impossible to get the stench out.

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 04:58 | 2533376 Debugas
Debugas's picture

you never had a deposit box in your life, did not you ? By the rules the client is prohibited to put explosive or rotting materials inside

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 09:08 | 2533564 Colonial Intent
Colonial Intent's picture

I did that with my locker on the last day of work:)

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 14:13 | 2534363 potlatch
potlatch's picture

it is also amusing with negligent landlords.  freeze rock solid some meat of some kind.  in something porous, but yet insulating, to put off thawing as long as possible.  shove down a heating or cooling vent.  move out, collect security.  get on with yer life, as Ol' Wilford might say.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 21:15 | 2532944 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

If the 80 billion in euros that have been withdrawn from accounts in Greece had been converted to gold, this would equate to around 1900 tonnes. More importantly such a level of demand would have set the gold market alight and delivered the Greeks an incredible capital gain as well as panicking the devil out of Germany.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 21:23 | 2532951 RiverRoad
RiverRoad's picture

And first things first; the doors of the bank have to be in "unlocked" position.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 23:16 | 2533103 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

Apparently few are aware that governments have a history of raiding safe deposit boxes

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 02:19 | 2533283 palmereldritch
Sun, 06/17/2012 - 03:43 | 2533337 OldPhart
OldPhart's picture

Speaking of criminals...look at the price of the McDonald's Big Mac combo meal there in the paper...$1.15!  July 20, 1976.

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 02:40 | 2533293 spdrdr
spdrdr's picture

Big + 1000 for the Oatmeal / Bobcats reference!

{I thought that I was alone.....}


Sun, 06/17/2012 - 01:11 | 2533222 prodigious_idea
prodigious_idea's picture

A simple thing like power failure prevents access to bank vaults (and most everything else).

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 07:01 | 2533451 smb12321
smb12321's picture

Only because I am a coin collector (and need to know these things) did I realize that a bank has the authority to forbid entry to a private lockbox - even by the owner.  When Bankia collapsed, many owners of lockboxes were (are) shut out still.   A bank lockbox is the safest place when times are bad but the converse is also true.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 19:18 | 2532780 Bansters-in-my-...
Bansters-in-my- feces's picture

My friends mothers sisters cousins aunt,makes$3,492.75 a week selling

meh cammel toe underwear.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 19:28 | 2532795 SilverTree
SilverTree's picture

Do not self terminate.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 19:29 | 2532799 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

My friends make 20k a week just by dealing meth!
Do you want a career as a sucessfull meth dealer?
Yes? Than just go to and press the "contact us" button!

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 22:02 | 2532994 Bansters-in-my-...
Bansters-in-my- feces's picture

....meh I said Sudden D...meh.......

NOT meth........

One will get you up,and the other will keep you down.....

You silly monster.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 19:58 | 2532829 cowdiddly
cowdiddly's picture

Well that is'nt Jack. I am from Oklahoma and my friends mother's sister is also my cousin and my aunt. And she has a Snap card. Bitchez

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 19:26 | 2532790 wee-weed up
wee-weed up's picture

Just saw a news story today that said home burglaries in Greece have increasing drastically now that everyone knows most forlks have all that former bank money hidden at home somewhere.

Are Greek citizens allowed to own guns?

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 19:29 | 2532800 SilverTree
SilverTree's picture



Greece — Gun Facts, Figures and the Law

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 19:48 | 2532833 wee-weed up
wee-weed up's picture

@SilverTree  Thanks for the info.

Let's hope they've stocked up on ammo.

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 14:19 | 2534389 potlatch
potlatch's picture

crickets from the NRA re: euro citizens' gun rights, btw.  They are paper revolutionaries: they want a steady market, not actual resistance.  Funny how peeople don't get what the NRA is: a cleverly disguised gun registration and marketing organization.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 19:59 | 2532844 QQQBall
QQQBall's picture

Yeah, if you are in Grease, better leave your money in the bank where it is safe.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 22:03 | 2532998 Falcon15
Falcon15's picture

Yeah, if I were in "Grease" I would be in a very dated '70s broadway musical/movie. If I were in "Greece"...well, that is a different bird altogether.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 19:25 | 2532791 max2205
max2205's picture

What happens when you have :2 Italian men a 1 Italian woman 2 French men and 1 French woman 2German men and 1 German woman 2 Greek man and 1 Greek woman 2English men and 1 English woman 2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarianwoman 2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman 2 American men and 1American woman 2 Irish men and 1 Irish womanOne month later on these absolutely stunning deserted islands in themiddle of nowhere, the following things have occurred :One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.The 2 French men and the French woman are living happily together ina menage ? trois.The 2 German men have a strict weekly schedule of when theyalternate with the German woman.The 2 Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman iscleaning and cooking for them.The 2 English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to theEnglish woman.The Bulgarian men took a long look at the endless ocean and one lookat the Bulgarian woman and they started swimming.The 2 American men are contemplating the virtues of suicide, whilethe American woman keeps on bitching about her body being her own,the true nature of feminism, how she can do everything that they cando, about the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division ofhousehold chores, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion andtreated her much nicer and how her relationship with her mother isimproving. But at least the taxes are low and it is not raining.The 2 Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are waiting forinstructions.The Irish began by dividing the island into North and South and bysetting up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in thepicture because it gets sort of foggy after the first few liters ofcoconut whiskey, but they are satisfied in that at least the Englishare not getting any!

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 19:57 | 2532839 max2205
max2205's picture

The Greek economy is so bad, the currency is no longer the euro. It’s the gyro. – Israel Carrasco, Anaheim, Calif.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 19:59 | 2532846 max2205
max2205's picture

You know you are Greek if...
can distinguish between kefalotiri and kefalograviera
you can spell kefalograviera
are an adult and are forced to be with your family at 12 midnight on new years eve
your grandmother/mother/aunt has a miracle cure for everything
your mother or father still feels the need to tell you, "katse kala" in public
you have ever been hit with a pandofla
can dance kalamatiano, tsiamiko, zebetiko without music
at every point in your life were not talking to at least one family member
you must name your children after your in-laws
you have at least 5 Maria's and 9 Dimitri's in your family as a result of the above
you have ever heard the phrase, "Sto leo yia to kalo sou"
you have a bottle of OUZO in your house right now
know what a komboloi is
know how to work a komboloi
you have been threatened to be eaten by the baboola/yero/pontiki when you were little
someone in your family owns any type of restaurant
your family inheritance includes olive trees
you can't understand why McDonald's rejected your idea for the McFeta" sandwich
your entire house is a needlepoint warehouse

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 00:03 | 2533152 prole
prole's picture

I was was wavering but you got me at "McFeta"

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 20:04 | 2532856 max2205
max2205's picture

The Official Greek Handbook...
How to be a cool Greek

1. wear clothes of 2 colors, black and white.

2. own a cell phone and use it in at inapropriate times- in church, restaurant, funeral, wedding etc.

3. refer to anyone who's not Greek disparingly as "xeni" and pity them for not being as cultures and sophisticated as the greeks.

4. have predominantly Greek friends, with a few token "xeni" thrown in for diversity. talk greek when "xeni" are aound

5. dress as though you are headed for a club when you're actually going to work or class.

6. if you are a Greek woman, stare menacingly at the other women around you, especially if there richer or more attractive than you.

7. if you are a Greek guy, be sure not to bathe to achieve an "earthy" scent, then try to mask it with a lot of cologne; the combination drives babes wild.

8. smoke as if is your last day on earth…and smoke only malboros.

9. travel only in droves of 10 or more , and be as loud as possible at all times.

10. if you're single, go to all Greek intercollegiate parties and all GOYA conferences, even if you're 45 years old.

11. if you're a single Greek over 30, rell everyone you're in your 20's, even if you're pushing 50.

12. if you're a single Greek gut, tell women you're a "successful businessman" or that you "own a successful business back in greece" even if you're an unemployed goat farmer.

13. dirty dance to Greek folk music.

14. wear only "designer" labels, even if you buy them off a cart on a sidewalk in Manhattan.

15. make sure "designer" lables are extremely visible, preferably embroided on the front of the apparel.

16. if you are a Greek guy, walk 10 feet in front of your woman and call her only when you want sex, then go into a deep depression and lament "theft" of your woman when she dumps you for another guy.

17. if you're a Greek guy, be indifferent and rude to any woman you're interested in dating, especially if she's Greek.

18. if you're a Greek guy, date "xenes" that treat you badly but marry a Greek woman that can treat you badly.

19. if you're a Greek woman, date "xeni" you can treat badly but marry a Greek guy that treats you badly.

20. wear a leather jacket at all times… even in the summer.

21. tell American aquantances that money is never an object, even if you only have 10 bucks to your name.

22. guys: if you have hair, get it cut every week and use at least 3 different styling products; if you're bald, develop a big ego to mask your insecurity. (applicable to short men)

23. make sure you install every possible option in your car, even if it is a Yugo.

24. own a sports car, even if its junk.

25. claim to be a devout Orthodox Christian but know nothing about the religion other than the date of your name day.

26. use church as social ground to meet potential dates.

27. if you are a Greek woman, dye your hair an obvious fake shade of blonde that is nonexistant in nature and swear that it's natural.

28. if you are a Greek american, act like your father was royalty back in Greece but fell into hard times after the 1973 coup.

29. pump Greek music in the hood.

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 06:03 | 2533414 midiangr
midiangr's picture

ok, you might be true at some points and these apply -fortunately- to a very small proportion of the population, but...


fgs man! taking so much time to collect and write these, shows more of a problem with you
and some kind of hatred rather than trying to be amusing...


no  offence taken, but there is a boundary between being funny and sarcastic,
and ridiculously trying to prove someone inferior...

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 14:25 | 2534418 potlatch
potlatch's picture

#28 is highlighted and in bold caps in the original Greek.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 20:10 | 2532866 max2205
max2205's picture


Q: Why do Greek men wear gold neck chains? A: So they know where to stop shaving.



Sat, 06/16/2012 - 20:30 | 2532889 nmewn
nmewn's picture

ROTFL!!!...ok that was good.

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 02:11 | 2533277 WezTheJuic
WezTheJuic's picture


Sat, 06/16/2012 - 20:13 | 2532870 max2205
max2205's picture

A Greek and Italian were arguing over who had the superior culture. The Greek says, "We have the Parthenon."

Arching his eyebrows, the Italian replies, "We have the Coliseum."

The Greek retorts, "We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics"

The Italian, nodding agreement, says, "But we built the Roman Empire."

And so on and so on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion. j With a flourish of finality he says, "We invented sex!"

The Italian replies, "That is true, but it was the Italians who introduced it to women."

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 06:55 | 2533450 compound interest
compound interest's picture


Sat, 06/16/2012 - 20:19 | 2532877 max2205
max2205's picture

The Greek Finance Minister managed to turn the Euro into shit. He was awarded the Nobel Prize for Chemistry.

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 01:22 | 2533230 TNTARG
TNTARG's picture

I'll stick with the french wiser happier ones.

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 14:21 | 2534405 potlatch
potlatch's picture

i lol'd.  always nice to have a chuckle.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 19:26 | 2532792 Solarman
Solarman's picture

Border controls?  LOL, have you seen the length of the Greek borders and shoreline?  I will get into the money transfer business with the Bulgarians. 

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 19:32 | 2532803 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture


Sun, 06/17/2012 - 00:19 | 2533170 carbonmutant
carbonmutant's picture

The estimated total number of guns held by civilians in is 2,500,000

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 10:02 | 2533666 RiverRoad
RiverRoad's picture


Sat, 06/16/2012 - 19:28 | 2532796 bullionbaron
bullionbaron's picture

Lack of safety deposit boxes is not only a problem in Greece.

I live in Adelaide, one of Australia's smallest capital cities and in the CBD one of our largest banks installed another 300 safety deposit boxes recently to keep up with demand and another has run out of space with only a few of the smallest boxes available.

I can only take a guess as to what's filling them ;)

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 19:33 | 2532809 SilverTree
SilverTree's picture

Deposit Boxes all booked up at RFCU in North Alabama.


Sat, 06/16/2012 - 19:42 | 2532826 obejoyful
obejoyful's picture

Funny that is where I have my bank account in South Huntsville.   

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 19:55 | 2532837 BurningFuld
BurningFuld's picture

I have a safety deposit box his name is Mr. Decoy.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 22:28 | 2533033 Rahm
Rahm's picture

I had a box, closed it in '08, after hearing stories of them being confiscated.  I believe one would be absolutely crazy to keep anything other than a backup copy of important papers in a safety deposit box now-a-days.

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 14:48 | 2534431 potlatch
potlatch's picture

I'm old school.  I just shove the diamonds up my rectum and say thanks, but I already showered.  Just tell me when it's safe.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 19:52 | 2532835 Errol
Errol's picture

The jars buried in my garden are pretty full up, too!

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 20:51 | 2532911 BooMushroom
BooMushroom's picture

"And if all the banks close, my money is safely stored in a deposit box!"
"If the banks close?"
"Yes, exactly."
"So if the banks close, you'll get your money."
"From the bank."
"After it closes."

"Third base!"

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 05:06 | 2533381 Debugas
Debugas's picture

actually safety deposit boxes are more safe than bank accounts but of cause not 100% safe

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 19:42 | 2532810 TomGa
TomGa's picture

FWIW, the exchange of euros for sterling has more than doubled over the past month, reportedly.

Also note, when FDR enacted his little gold confiscation program, you couldn't open a "private" safe deposit box without a government agent present.  Just sayin'...

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 20:39 | 2532901 bigwavedave
bigwavedave's picture

yup. those were the day eh?

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 21:57 | 2532989 Falcon15
Falcon15's picture

And they are coming again...In Eurpoe first, then the US.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 19:39 | 2532819 cowdiddly
cowdiddly's picture

Geeze, You would think this article is about a bunch of cheese assed stupid Americanos. The best they can figure out to do is withdraw their fiat and then put it in a so called "safe deposit" box at the same bank who will still close the doors. And then Max the credit cards--- well at least Americans taught them one thing right.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 22:05 | 2532999 otto skorzeny
otto skorzeny's picture

they have no "fiat" to withdraw- only plastic to whip out. i want to scream every time somebody pulls out a credit card to bu a $1 soda @ the gas station

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 19:37 | 2532820 InsurgoCasca
InsurgoCasca's picture


Sat, 06/16/2012 - 19:37 | 2532821 nmewn
nmewn's picture

A few "well publicized" burglaries leads to a rush back into the banks...oh that's just excellent, well done.

No one owns a gun or a shovel or dogs with really bad temperaments?...oh, that's's Greece.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 20:13 | 2532869 mtomato2
mtomato2's picture

Fricking GREAT post, 'mewn.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 20:23 | 2532881 nmewn
nmewn's picture

It's how "they" do it.

You will be burgled if you withdraw your money. You can't fend off the elements of nature without us. You need us. Let us help you.

I swear, human nature (and it's manipulation) never ceases to amaze me.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 20:43 | 2532904 delacroix
delacroix's picture

do the burglars get their victim info, from the bank?

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 20:54 | 2532916 nmewn
nmewn's picture

I wouldn't know...but information can come from anywhere. The grand daughter...nephew...or teller's boyfriend at the bank.

The less that is openly shared broadly, the more secure you are in all narrows down the list of suspects should bad things happen.

Going back generations within my family, was always this phrase..."the less people know about your business the better off you are".

The implication was always clear to me, it applies to personal relationships and finance ;-)

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 23:05 | 2533087 New_Meat
New_Meat's picture

'..."the less people know about your business the better off you are".'

Let's see, LTCM, all the way up to Jamie's recent "problem."  The word gets out and the world piles up on the other side.

- Ned

{Interesting exchange with 3.1415926535.  He underperformed tonite, imho.  Dang, and I had the popcorn at the ready.}


Sat, 06/16/2012 - 23:31 | 2533121 nmewn
nmewn's picture

"Dang, and I had the popcorn at the ready."


Yeah well, him doin a face plant comin outta his corner and knockin himself out (showin off his foot work?) kinda left me a little aback as well.

Frauds happen ;-)


Sun, 06/17/2012 - 00:18 | 2533169 Jena
Jena's picture

Our family motto is "It's NONE of their damned business!"  

I didn't understand when I was six, bringing home forms from school that Mom and Dad would fill in with a line and "N/A" but it's certainly grown on me over the years.

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 14:53 | 2534504 potlatch
potlatch's picture

jena, can you ask yer dad, why the fuck he just let the ponzi ride?  I get the war thing, it's just basic long term blood investment.  but the finance side of his deal.  really.  can you ask him?

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 01:29 | 2533232 prodigious_idea
prodigious_idea's picture

Of course they do/could.  They sit outside the bank, watch and follow.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 19:46 | 2532827 RobotTrader
RobotTrader's picture

Fractional Reserve Banking is here to stay.

The old fiat currency will simply be replaced by another one.  And the game will be reset again, and another series of "Wash, Rinse, Repeat" cycles throughout the ages will continue.

Anybody see the abolishment of fractional reserve banking or a gold-backed currency in:

Argentina?  Nope

Russia?  Nope

Thailand?  Nope

Iceland?  Nope

And Greece?  Never.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 19:59 | 2532843 ruffian
ruffian's picture

Do just sit at home all weekend and wait for new zerohedge posts to pop up so you can give your two cents?

How do you kill time between new zerohedge pieces?.....same as SEC investigators?

That's a sad life Raw Bot

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 14:58 | 2534518 potlatch
potlatch's picture

I formulated an internet law.  I call it "Sadre's Law" (long story).  It is like Godwin's law:

The probability in a thread that someone will mention "living in a basement" or "having no life" as a retort to a post and/or poster, increases the longer a thread continues.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 22:23 | 2532860 nmewn
nmewn's picture

So, in principle, you agree or disagree, that the people who exchange their labor for currency...are or are not...entitled to see the value of their labor deteriorate immediately unless they exchange (again) for something "tangible" or put it at risk in the fiat casino?


I take his lack of response as agreeing with the status quo, that is, are not entitled to the value of their previous labor.

That being the case...fuck him forever more.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 20:27 | 2532884 Freebird
Freebird's picture

Yes RT, they were before the great ponzi was over.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 21:16 | 2532945 msjimmied
msjimmied's picture

A single country against the the entire world system, not going to win. The whole world throwing in the towel all at once will seize up the system and halt it. Let's see how it plays out. 

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