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Guest Post: And The Douchebag Of The Year Award Goes To……

Tyler Durden's picture


Submitted by Mark McHugh from Across the Street

And The Douchebag Of The Year Award Goes To……

Unless February 29th is the new April Fool’s Day, I’m pretty sure  Alan Dlugash locked up DOTY with this remark:

People who don’t have money don’t understand the stress.   Could you imagine what it’s like to say I got three kids in private school, I have to think about pulling them out?   How do you do that?”

Dluglash is describing the horror of scraping by on $350,000 a year.   Really.  How could you lucky bastards ever understand?

Ordinary Americans, with their fancy foodstamps and foreclosure notices, are increasingly turning a blind eye to the plight of the people who outsourced their jobs.  You  just don’t get it, do you?    These people are light years smarter than you, and they work really hard.  Now things are so dire, some are actually considering sending their kids to school with your germy kids.   It’s bad.

Some have even been forced to shop for discount Salmon.  How could people who enjoy cat food ever understand that kind of humiliation?  If someone doesn’t halt this death spiral soon they may have to settle for Microsoft products (which even poor people hate).  

This is all a joke, right?  Cause if it’s not, wait ’til they find out about Walmart….



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Wed, 02/29/2012 - 21:27 | 2210556 mikla
mikla's picture

Clearly many people will want to help him with his problem.

Perhaps he should pick one of those "care-free" people to favor by trading burdens.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 21:32 | 2210576 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

Let him eat cake!

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 21:34 | 2210584 trav7777
trav7777's picture

let him eat fist!

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 21:37 | 2210595 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

Let him eat Rand.

Couldn't stop myself.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 21:45 | 2210632 Vampyroteuthis ...
Vampyroteuthis infernalis's picture

Let him rot homeless.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 21:51 | 2210660 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture



Whatta douchewoggle.   I suppose he'd also be offended if he was noosed with just average hemp.


Wed, 02/29/2012 - 22:06 | 2210739 brewing
brewing's picture

did you guys see that tim tebow is dating taylor swift...

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 22:58 | 2210906 Troll Magnet
Troll Magnet's picture

oh THAT's news. can we get a 24/7 coverage of this? americans NEED this sort of shit, err, i mean news.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 23:05 | 2210933 brewing
brewing's picture

i was just trying to the steal away the douchebag of the year award...

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 23:13 | 2210953 dwdollar
dwdollar's picture

It's tough times, even for The Onion. Real life satire is just too good anymore. Why read The Onion when the regular news is funnier.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 23:19 | 2210976 knukles
knukles's picture

And Snooki's pregnant.
The end is nigh.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 23:40 | 2211039 IndicaTive
IndicaTive's picture

And the Daydream Believer is dead. And so goes Pleasant Valley Sunday.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 23:45 | 2211055 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

If he said "fuck" more publicly, he would still be alive.  At least that's my theory.  Fuck.

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 01:47 | 2211408 rocker
rocker's picture

  Really !!!

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 00:07 | 2211058 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

C'mon, these people aren't the haves. They're above average in terms of income, but not wealthy.

The haves are the ones who make that in a month, or a week. Some of them legitimately obtain such money because they work hard, providing a service or good that's in demand, and they have figured out an efficient, profitable way to satisfy that demand. Others who generate this type of income are Crony Capitalists (which is essentially the same thing as anti-capitalists), or people who inherit such income streams or lump sums of wealth in the 8 or 9 or 10 figure range (and these people are merely lucky, but unlike the Crony Capitalists, they haven't manipulated the system or cheated anyone - those who showered them with such wealth may have, however, and thus they're as tainted as the cheater, under the fruit of the poisonous tree doctrine).

The wealth divide in the U.S. is (I believe - correct me if I'm mistaken) greater than any other developed nation. I don't mind a wealth divide, but the problem I have is the manner in which that wealth divide occurs. Many, many, many of 'the haves' (I'll call them people who earn 500k+ a year and/or who have 10 million+ of liquidity, ranging all the way up to the true haves, who have income of tens of millions per year and net wealth of the hundreds of millions) have come into such a position through not what, but who, they know, and not by the fruits of their talent or labor, but the creativity and ingenuity of their scheming.

Many CEOs of large corporations do make 300 to 500 times the pay of the average employee at the company they are managing, which is far higher than the 30 to 40 times a Japanese CEO would make, or the 80 to 100 times a typical, similarly situated German CEO would make. Is this unjust? I can't provide an absolute answer as there are so many variables.

[I have a seperate opinion about this as it relates to part of a greater equity market investing scam, IMO, however. Without getting into the other details about how things such as index rejiggering/survivorship bias, failure to account for adverse tax consequences of anything other than long term buy&hold, etc., alter the REPORTED HISTORICAL performance of equity market investing by people like Jeremy Siegel, too many publicly traded corporations today are lying when their management claims their goal is to maximize shareholder value. In fact, it can be proven through actions and numbers that the publicly traded corporation, more often than not, is a vehicle by which upper management can bleed incredible amounts of money from the company, like a parasite on a host, through the use of exorbinant and lavish perks like use of jets and massive housing stipends and expense accounts, golden parachute retirement packages, exorbitant pay and benefits, etc.]

Crony Capitalism is the real problem.

A classic example of the Crony Capitalist in modern day America is some guy who lands the administration of a city's pension fund because he went to school with a high ranking official in that city who has the authority to mete out such contracts, and who provides all kinds of kickbacks to that high ranking official and their family and friends in order to ensure continuation of that contract; or a defense contractor who similarly lands a contract providing products (maybe even shoddy products) to the government/military, not because they are providing the best products at the best price, in a true competitive process, but because they know someone or even a group of people (or politicians...awww!) who have the authority to award the contract(s).

Speaking of Crony Capitalists who cheat the system, rob people blind, and are pond scum, generally speaking:


Thu, 03/01/2012 - 00:07 | 2211131 Born Right the ...
Born Right the FIRST Time's picture

as a comedian once explained the difference between being rich and being wealthy.goes like this:

Shaq,the player,makes 41 million$ a year.he plays 82 basketball games a year.that's 500,000$ a game.that man is RICH.the man who signs his paychecks is WEALTHY!

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 00:15 | 2211149 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

True wealth is having a lock on a segment of a vital means of production or supply of services, which guarantees an income stream of massive proportion for life (and beyond). Think Getty. Carlos Slim and Lakshmi Mittal are there (major control of large segments of global production of cement and steel, respectively).

What many people think of as wealthy is what you're referring to by way of Chris Rock's comments, which rings true. Look at all the entertainers and athletes who once were worth many millions and are now bankrupt.

I believe Mike Tyson literally burned through 360 million dollars.

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 01:51 | 2211418 stirners_ghost
stirners_ghost's picture

The same Getty that wouldn't sum to jack squat without the copyright lobby? You need a better example.

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 02:21 | 2211482 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

J. Paul Getty the oil magnate.

Copyright lobby?

One of us is missing something. It could be me. If so, let me know.

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 03:26 | 2211562 Arthur
Arthur's picture

Getty Photo's.   I think owned by a Getty trust capitolizing on the various pictures and art work Getty aquired.  Just the rich getting richer.

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 06:04 | 2211696 hamurobby
hamurobby's picture

Getty is an exellent example. He was a college educated wildcatter who got very lucky (by his own admission) and who was stubborn enough that he would never sell out to standard oil. He ran Getty oil his whole life, costing him numerous wives. He lived to work, and when he was gone, the family(s) shred Getty oil.

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 09:06 | 2211940 Bob
Bob's picture

it can be proven through actions and numbers that the publicly traded corporation, more often than not, is a vehicle by which upper management can bleed incredible amounts of money from the company, like a parasite on a host, through the use of exorbinant and lavish perks like use of jets and massive housing stipends and expense accounts, golden parachute retirement packages, exorbitant pay and benefits, etc.

Exactly. This is the profound state of pathological entitlement that drives the wholesale siphoning of public corporate assets by a class of sociopaths who have built a business culture which actively supports and promotes it. 

I think we blur the role of this dynamic in our various attributions to, e.g., "the banks".  The genuine needs and interests of "the banks" and other large corporations are quite different from those of the pirates who run and plunder them.  The most obvious example is reserves for mortgage related and other losses that are lowballed on balance sheets in order to show "profits" that recklessly place the survival of the corporation itself at risk in order to allow outsized bonuses.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 22:12 | 2210752 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

Hobart Very good sir, very good. Oh, there's some charity people
here to see you sir.

Navin Mo, send them away! There's a lot of people more deserving
than me.

Hobart Ah, but these people want you to give.

Navin Oh, o.k.

  - The Jerk

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 22:22 | 2210794 mtomato2
mtomato2's picture

nice ref!

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 22:24 | 2210808 dogbreath
dogbreath's picture

his three kids are training to be douchbags too

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 23:00 | 2210914 Troll Magnet
Troll Magnet's picture

he should really consider downgrading from 3 maseratis to 2. times are hard and we all need to sacrifice.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 23:04 | 2210927 infinity8
infinity8's picture

I quit working for him at least 10 times in my life. With style.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 23:20 | 2210936 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

The Big Ching-aso said:

Whatta douchewoggle.   I suppose he'd also be offended if he was noosed with just average hemp.

Andrew Schiff, Douchebag of the Year: "Wait a minute, this noose isn't silk! And just look at that lamp post - it doesn't even have brass fittings!"


Thu, 03/01/2012 - 00:24 | 2211184 non_anon
non_anon's picture

I read the article and Peter Schiff's brother was crying about this also, what a bunch of fakes!

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 07:20 | 2211736 jeff montanye
jeff montanye's picture

so much for a political career

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 22:11 | 2210726 r00t61
r00t61's picture

The synopsis is somewhat inaccurate.

The person complaining about not getting by on $350,000 is not Dluglash, but Andrew Schiff, brother of Peter Schiff, who works as director of marketing at Euro Pacific Capital.

The fellow Dluglash is a financial planner for the wealthy, and he's making a sort of suppositionary statement about the kinds of things that his clients might and will say in light of their smaller paychecks.

One of Schiff's quotes:

“I wouldn’t want to whine,” Schiff said. “All I want is the stuff that I always thought, growing up, that successful parents had.”

There are bigger douches in the article, like "Wall Street headhunter Daniel Arbeeny," who "...drove to Fairway Market in the Red Hook section of Brooklyn to buy discounted salmon for $5.99 a pound."

Or this other guy, Richard Scheiner: "Scheiner said he spends about $500 a month to park one of his two Audis in a garage and at least $7,500 a year each for memberships at the Trump National Golf Club in Westchester and a gun club in upstate New York. A labradoodle named Zelda and a rescued bichon frise, Duke, cost $17,000 a year, including food, health care, boarding and a daily dog-walker who charges $17 each per outing, he said."

Or this guy, Hans Kullberg:

Hans Kullberg, 27, a trader at Wyckoff, New Jersey-based hedge fund Falcon Management Corp. who said he earns about $150,000 a year, is adjusting his sights, too.

After graduating from the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania in 2006, he spent a $10,000 signing bonus from Citigroup Inc. (C) on a six-week trip to South America. He worked on an emerging-markets team at the bank that traded and marketed synthetic collateralized debt obligations.

What little pity I can muster for other human beings is normally reserved for children born with terminal diseases, people who have been unjustly incarcerated, people attempting to escape from terrible governments like Communist Cuba, Stasi Germany, and maybe a few others.  Dopes that get involved in financial douchebaggery trading derivative-upon-derivative products that they probably don't even understand, all because their Pavlovian desire to acquire fiat $$$ has overridden all sense of morality and rationality, will get none from me.  They deserve to bear the brunt of the consequences for their "thintelligent" behavior - mastering details of high finance, but utterly failing to grasp the larger picture of the rise and fall of all empires.

All that stuff that Schiff and the rest of these loons wants - material possessions - was only made possible by American Empire; just like massive country houses and servants were only made possible by British Empire.  These guys probably watched too many movies as children and bought it into the glamorous, Madison-avenue manufactured lifestyle being shown.  They felt entitled to the "good life."  Now that it seems to be slipping through their fingers, they get to complain about it on Bloomberg.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 22:14 | 2210763 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

What most Ayn Rand worshiping douches don't understand is that their lifeboat has a hole in it.  They can pull up the ladder all they want on the help who jumped in after them, but they will be drowing right along with them when the hole gets big enough.  Meanwhile, the owner of the White Star line will call up the insurance company and report his claim on his way to the Club.  

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 22:34 | 2210826 mtomato2
mtomato2's picture

Having read your stuff over the past several months, it has become ever more clear to me that you have never read a word by Ayn Rand.  Or if you did, you are too shallow and myopic to see the myriad issues she confronted, brought to the table, and hashed out in broad daylight.  Were I so inclined, I would school you, but I honestly dont think you want to know or understand some of her prescient brilliance.  Was she right all the time? No.  Was she right about everything? Not even close.

Did her entire philosophy revolve around a self-centered, uncharitable, "I got mine, so fuck you" existance.  Not by any stretch. 

Grow the hell up and think for once.


Wed, 02/29/2012 - 22:47 | 2210858 ForWhomTheTollBuilds
ForWhomTheTollBuilds's picture

I was gonna bring up Rand, so this looks like the place...


I read The Fountainhead a long long time ago and one of the clearer memories was a character complaining that because he was born rich, unlike Roark, he never had a chance to prove himself by climbing out of adversity.  For this, he held Roark as having an unfair advantage over him.

I remember at the time thinking Rand was maybe fudging just a little to make her case seem stronger than it really was.  Felt the same way when I read AS as well.


Anyway, isn't it amazing to see real life people uttering things just as ridiculous as her "evil" characters did?


On an unrelated note in the late 90s a Canadian politician once said high taxes were a benefit to people because the govt was helping people to become more efficient with the money they were allowing us to keep!



Wed, 02/29/2012 - 22:46 | 2210867 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

Was she wrong all of the time? No.  She certainly was correct that competing simplistic ideologies such as communism are incredibly destructive and unworkable.  But she was a narcissist who created her central philosophy -- openly -- based upon pure self-interest and personal greed.  If you don't see that, you are the one that needs to reread her.   

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 23:02 | 2210920 Sophist Economicus
Sophist Economicus's picture

ok - prove it. Cite one reference that PROVES your idiotic rant. Go ahead, we're babes in the woods waiting for your enlightenment


Wed, 02/29/2012 - 23:40 | 2211042 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

Forget about trying to reason with him..., the dickhead isn't worth the effort.

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 07:35 | 2211749 jeff montanye
jeff montanye's picture

this reference seems relevant.

ayn rand, who let me, when i was fourteen, see the value of reading books as a way of understanding the world, rather than as mere entertainment or facts, does not, imo, stay as persuasive as one ages. absolutes, like living for oneself, don't seem as convincing after (step) grandchildren.  selfishness, like automatic weapons, is a resource best used with utmost discretion.  clearly those in the article above (and the crony capitalists broadly defined) have been engaging in some poorly planned drivebys.

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 10:49 | 2212409 swmnguy
swmnguy's picture

"There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old's life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs."

-John Rogers

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 23:46 | 2211062 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

History.  All of it.

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 00:30 | 2211195 sun tzu
sun tzu's picture

Just what I thought. Your sub-chimp IQ couldn't come up with any examples. Quit your whining, you worthless sack of shit parasite. Just kill yourself to take your family out of it's misery of living with a douchebag like you

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 00:40 | 2211222 crowdoc
crowdoc's picture

Ya know, that's some really lame shit your shoveling, dim sun.

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 00:51 | 2211257 sun tzu
sun tzu's picture

You lame brains deserve lame shit. Shove it up your ass, sonny boy.

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 04:21 | 2211620 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Even Jesus of Nazareth couldn't please everyone, get over it.

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 00:25 | 2211182 Likstane
Likstane's picture

. "Achievement of your happiness is the only moral purpose of your life, and that happiness, not pain or self-indulgence, is the proof of your moral integrity, since it is the proof and the result of your loyalty to the achievement of your values." -Ayn Rand.   What is Ayn's baseline for moral integrity?  What does Ayn consider her happiness?  According to Ayn's own words, she only answers to her own moral integrity.  Being an atheist, she has rejected the Creator's moral authority and substituted her own.  She epitomizes the delusion of the goodness of man and is another great example of false humility.  Jeremiah 17:9  The heart is more deceitful than all else and in desperately wicked; who can know it?   

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 04:05 | 2211604 Hobbleknee
Hobbleknee's picture

She defeated this argument herself on Phil Donahue. You can find it on youtube.  Of course, the audience wouldn't listen, much like LetThemEatRand.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 23:04 | 2210928 ffart
ffart's picture

Philosophies based off the self interest and greed inherent in humanity are the only ones that are SUS-TAIN-A-BLE.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 23:22 | 2210983 KickIce
KickIce's picture

Agreed. but greed needs to be held in check by rules that apply to all and personal risk.  The US has removed both through it's crony capitalist system and bailout mentality.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 23:34 | 2211021 Sophist Economicus
Sophist Economicus's picture

Personal greed needs no rules UNLESS that greed impinges on the rights of other individuals....Those rules are basic natural laws that most people would agree with and, through the years of human history, have encompassed what is known as 'common law'...


Thu, 03/01/2012 - 00:03 | 2211121 KickIce
KickIce's picture

Personal greed needs no rules UNLESS that greed impinges on the rights of other individuals....

And they will, everytime.  Common law or common sense doesn't work for the 1%.  If you allow them to be above the law you get... well you get the current US situation.  I agree that we don't need the 10's of thousands of regs currently on the books because all they do is effectively state "you are not allowed to do such and such, unless...(enter exception clause(s) here)"  The Founders were well aware that lady justice must be blind. 

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 00:33 | 2211201 sun tzu
sun tzu's picture

That's where the socialists and big brother types are wrong. Anybody is free to make as much money as they want as long as they do not steal from others. Where is the crime in starting a business and making huge profits by selling a legitimate product or service? Only the 0bama types think that profit is a crime, unless they profit off crony capitalism

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 01:47 | 2211409 KickIce
KickIce's picture

That's where social injustice comes into play.  They select a group they think has been wronged, coincidently this is usually their voting base, and set about to correct it.  As a  resu;t we get more regs and the noose of big government gets tighter around our necks.  And of course, they just flat out pander to the Wall Street types.

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 05:57 | 2211690 DevilsPrinciple
DevilsPrinciple's picture



Thu, 03/01/2012 - 02:50 | 2211533 Likstane
Likstane's picture

Where did 'common' or 'natural' law come from?  Are you regulating that greed by your own moral compass?  If you agree with Ayn on self-regulating personal greed, then you must conclude there is a principle of goodness in yourself, thereby eliminating the need for God.  Good luck with that.

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 03:07 | 2211548 MayerRothschild
MayerRothschild's picture

I happen to find Taoism quite the contrary...

Manifest plainness,
Embrace simplicity,
Reduce selfishness,
Have few desires.

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 03:52 | 2211586 scaleindependent
scaleindependent's picture


How about this example of self interest and greed?

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 00:02 | 2211119 chindit13
chindit13's picture

I've often wondered if George Orwell would have written a sequel to Animal Farm had he lived to see the publication of Rand's work.  I suspect he would have done so.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 23:01 | 2210916 Yes We Can. But...
Yes We Can. But Lets Not.'s picture

Thank you.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 22:46 | 2210869 malek
malek's picture

What most Ayn Rand haters don't understand is that more regulators and other gov't bureaucrats are not going to save them. In the best case they will sue the owner after you have drowned, and add 200 pages of legislation on lifeboats.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 23:49 | 2211072 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

Wrong.  Ayn Rand haters think that there is a whole world out there beyond government regulators and fucking douchebag narcissists.  Ayn Rand worshipers think there is a Bentley dealership with their entitlement car waiting for them.

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 00:37 | 2211208 sun tzu
sun tzu's picture

Why do fucking douchebag cocksuckers like you care what others do? Why don't you pissbags complain about the corrupt government regulators who refuse to enforce the law? Instead you fascist cocksuckers keep bitching about people who are successful on their own without handouts from the government.

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 00:50 | 2211254 sun tzu
sun tzu's picture

I haven't seen you comment about John Corzine and what your precious regulators have done. I haven't seen you comment on the douchebag obama's proclamation that no crime was committed at MFG. What do you think about that situation?

You hate this guy who makes $350K per year, how about the guy who stole $1.2 billion and the DOJ that refuses to bring any charges? How about the douchebag president who greedily accepted tens of millions bundled up by Corzine?

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 03:43 | 2211572 scaleindependent
Wed, 02/29/2012 - 23:35 | 2211027 Cathartes Aura
Cathartes Aura's picture

ahh, such clear thinking in your words r00t61 - great post!

their Pavlovian desire to acquire fiat $$$ has overridden all sense of morality and rationality, will get none from me.  They deserve to bear the brunt of the consequences for their "thintelligent" behavior - mastering details of high finance, but utterly failing to grasp the larger picture of the rise and fall of all empires.
All that stuff that Schiff and the rest of these loons wants - material possessions - was only made possible by American Empire; just like massive country houses and servants were only made possible by British Empire.

not enough acknowledgment that amrkn "lifestyles" have come on the back of those nationstates occupied by corporate military making the space "safe" for big business, sucking up resources, and humans, in the name of "humanitarian regime change" - all of this allowed  amrka to "prosper" over the decades. . .

and now that corporations are looking elsewhere in their race to the bottom, with the highest positioned reaping huge multiples of the lowest paid wages, all pretense at benevolence is gone, and we are left listening to the wails of the wealthy - "but but - we deserve better! and more!"

says who?


Wed, 02/29/2012 - 23:12 | 2210952 Calmyourself
Calmyourself's picture

He can eat ya darling but first which union is in your shop?

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 23:23 | 2210985 crowdoc
crowdoc's picture

Yes, unfortunately for Randistas we're individuals condemned to live in groups.  Thus nobody gets it all their own way all the time.  I think the current state of the global economy indicates something inherently wrong in simplistic notions of mere self-interest being sufficient to organize populations of millions or more.  But that's just me, ya'll are free to do your thing anyway...

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 01:07 | 2211311 NeoRandian
NeoRandian's picture

Rand should be thrilled to participate in the Market by letting herself be eaten.

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 11:22 | 2212565 DevilsPrinciple
DevilsPrinciple's picture

I would've thought Corzine qualified as the Douchebag of the Year. Who knew?

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 22:26 | 2210782 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

Let him be fisted...............

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 00:00 | 2211112 Will To Live
Will To Live's picture

A mouthfull of bloody Chicklets for him.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 22:54 | 2210888 Majere
Majere's picture

Cake or death is a very easy question to answer now isn't it.  Well we are all out of cake, so choose.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 22:59 | 2210912 alfred b.
alfred b.'s picture


   FYI.....he's already eating cake....but what IS wrong with him is that he wouldn't know the difference between cake and a bale of hay!

...elitous douchebag!!!


Wed, 02/29/2012 - 23:21 | 2210980 Calmyourself
Calmyourself's picture

Cake in this context may not mean what you think it means..

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 08:45 | 2211848 johnQpublic
johnQpublic's picture

dont let him eat

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 21:51 | 2210656 thatthingcanfly
thatthingcanfly's picture

I saw the article on Yahoo today and couldn't believe it. But then I was distracted by more important stuff like Snooki being pregnant.


Wed, 02/29/2012 - 23:19 | 2210974 Al Huxley
Al Huxley's picture

Good for you, way to focus on what's important.  A model for all of us, I say...

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 23:51 | 2211081 Oleander
Oleander's picture

Davy Jones is DEAD!!  No more Pleasant Valley Sundays!

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 11:45 | 2212701 DevilsPrinciple
DevilsPrinciple's picture

I would have thought Corzine would be the hands down Douchebag of the Year award winner. Who knew?

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 21:26 | 2210557 Theta_Burn
Theta_Burn's picture

Ben Bernanke

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 23:26 | 2210913 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

I was thinking Bumma, an obvious candidate as it's now crystal clear the biggest suicide socialist spending orgy in global history did fuk-all for the US economy last year and won't arrive this year either

But Bubble Ben must run him a close 2nd given evey 'solution' (QE1, QE2, QE-Lite, QE-Twist, QE Under-the-Table, QE Back-Door and soon QE-Toxic-Mortgage) has failed requirng yet another fuking misguided program

as failures go these two losers are historic epic figures

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 23:49 | 2211075 Alea Iactaest
Alea Iactaest's picture

How can you say they are failures? If their goal is to destroy the USA then they are succeeding beyond any historic measure. They have accomplished what no other adversary has in almost 250 years. (Just a matter of perspective, that's all.)


Fuck, there goes my self-imposed ban on posting. Made it 2 days...

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 00:01 | 2211115 Alea Iactaest
Alea Iactaest's picture

Junk? Guess I should have put the /s tag on. Thought it was obvious.

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 05:29 | 2211675 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

i admire your self-discipline not to post

lasted 2 days you say? ....formiddable... my 'No Popcorn' diet collapses in under 5 hours usually

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 21:30 | 2210560 Stack Trace
Stack Trace's picture

It is all relative...until you get a pitch-fork shoved in your douchebag ass.

Honestly I hope these idiots get more coverage. Time for a revolt. Tired of being paid for my labor in fraudulent money and my asking prices suppressed by global cartels. Time for some assholes to get tapped and capped.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 22:58 | 2210901 Reese Bobby
Reese Bobby's picture

This is a popular comment?  Bravado by yet another internet tough guy?


You want to impress me pal.  Tell me something you have done this week to be generous and supportive of someone in your immediate community.  I didn't think so.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 23:13 | 2210937 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

i'm an internet tough guy and i fucked a chicken

..and no i'm not triyng to impress you, i'm trying to depress you

BTW before you write "I didn't think so" again give the guy a chance to respond (and get his dick out the chicken)

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 23:18 | 2210973 Reese Bobby
Reese Bobby's picture

Don't black people resent white trash acting black?  I would.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 23:32 | 2211012 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

you've a fantastic imagination've easily impressed me internet tough guy

now go fuck a chicken

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 01:58 | 2211431 stirners_ghost
stirners_ghost's picture

It takes a tough man to make a tender forecast.

Keep fuckin' that chicken.

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 01:42 | 2211396 Stack Trace
Stack Trace's picture

Tough as nails.


Ok, this week? Not much. This last year:

Community clean-up organized.

Helped 4 people change their eating habits.

Helped 2 people through divorces.

Helped my nephew with college after he returned from duty in Iraq.

Donated to USO, Ron Paul, Red Cross.

Volunteered at the Library.

Donated to womens' shelter (several times).

Donated to earthquake relief for Japan.

Hired several people in my business paying good wages (6 figure) instead of off-shoring.

Attend community crime watch meetings.

Not a saint, but not a douche-bag like you.

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 03:05 | 2211546 Likstane
Likstane's picture

For all of us have become like one who is unclean, And all our righteous deeds are like a filthy garment; And all of us wither like a leaf (timeline thing again), and our iniquities, like the wind,take us away.  Isaiah 64:6 (I added the parenthesis)

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 04:26 | 2211624 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Go forth, alleviate some suffering:  htpp://

Somewhere in the World, a child needs yer help for around $35/month.

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 00:45 | 2211239 sun tzu
sun tzu's picture

So now we're going after people who make $350K per year? While I feel no sympathy for him, he is nowhere near filthy rich, especially if he lives in NYC or SF. Half the people at Google make more than that. Maybe they should all be strung up too. 

0bozo and his class warfare rhetoric has gotten to you. The people we need to target are the bluebloods, billionaires and multi-national corporations that are using their wealth to loot the nation through bribing politicians and regulators.

Notice that the class warfare cretins never talk about the crony capitalists and bailouts. The useful idiots only target small and medium businesses and successful professionals with more regulations and taxes, when they were not the ones that looted and bankrupted the world. The class warfare cretins are the tools and mouthpieces of the wealthy elites that control the world and are trying to deflect attention away from their masters. 

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 06:37 | 2211709 hamurobby
hamurobby's picture

Divided and conquered we are, hmmm.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 21:28 | 2210563 surf0766
surf0766's picture

Clearly he is an optimistic leader. He needs a promotion and bonus.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 21:28 | 2210565 TheGoodDoctor
TheGoodDoctor's picture

Jesus Fucking Christ is about all I have to say about that. Wow. I hope someone tosses a pie in his face or even KO's the dickhead.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 22:59 | 2210907 Reese Bobby
Reese Bobby's picture

It's hard to offend me.  Impressive.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 23:19 | 2210940 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

so you're hard to offend but easily impressed

Are you VP Joe Biden durimg his socio-economic friendship/courtship/love-affair with Jon Corzine?

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 23:22 | 2210979 Reese Bobby
Reese Bobby's picture

You're not special.  A lot of stupid people make no sense.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 23:33 | 2211016 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

i didn't claim i was special've got ahead of yourself.. check if your heads up your arse

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 21:29 | 2210568 Withdrawn Sanction
Withdrawn Sanction's picture

...I got three kids in private school, I have to think about pulling them out? How do you do that?”

Easy.  You say, "kids, welcome to the Newark Public school system.  This is your new warden.  Say Hi to Principal Knuckles."

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 21:30 | 2210570 RyanW525
RyanW525's picture

Reminds me of Latrell Sprewwell who once turned down a three-year,$21 million contract extension saying, "I've got my family to feed,"

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 21:37 | 2210596 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

And he never played in the League again.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 22:37 | 2210839 natty light
natty light's picture

Patrick Ewing supposedly once said:"Yeah we make a lot of money, but we spend a lot of money."

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 23:30 | 2211008 Diogenes
Diogenes's picture

That's different. Professional athletes are supposed to be douchebags.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 21:30 | 2210571 AbruptlyKawaii
AbruptlyKawaii's picture


Wed, 02/29/2012 - 21:30 | 2210573 Moneyswirth
Moneyswirth's picture

Meh.  I still say the douchebag of the year goes to Ben Bernanke.  Or Tim Geithner.  Or Jose Barroso. Or...

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 21:32 | 2210581 Withdrawn Sanction
Withdrawn Sanction's picture

The difference is, those guys Know they're DBs...and they revel in it. This cat hasn't got clue one how douchey he sounds.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 21:42 | 2210610 Moneyswirth
Moneyswirth's picture

He has a job, his employer is willing to pay him $350K to do that job--that's their own business, none of my concern.  And sure, if he makes that for so long, him and his family are used to a certain lifestyle.  Good for them.  Sure, the picture of his stupid mug makes me want to punch him in the face, but that's my issue.

Bernanke, Geithner, et al., are willingfully fucking the financial lives of millions and millions of people all over the fucking world, with the same tired, old and failed policies, flushing more of our taxpayer money and utility value of the cash I already have, down the proverbial toilet

Makes them bigger douchebags in my book.  Fuck them all.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 23:39 | 2211038 palmereldritch
palmereldritch's picture

Good point.  Criminality is distinguished by the concept of 'malice aforethought'.

Focus people.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 21:52 | 2210663 JohnG
JohnG's picture

John Corzine.  Fucking douch has 1.2MM of MY MONEY.  Sonofabitch.

A dark alley is all I wish for.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 22:05 | 2210736 I think I need ...
I think I need to buy a gun's picture

i would have said hello by now

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 22:12 | 2210757 AgShaman
AgShaman's picture

Yes....Corzine has my vote for king of the "D"

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 22:21 | 2210795 Richard Head
Richard Head's picture

Frankly I'm shocked that none of the people who got MF'd by Corzine have either the rage and/or the skill set to visit some vigilante justice upon that bastard.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 22:58 | 2210905 seek
seek's picture

I am shocked as well, but I'd also presume that he's well protected and likely keeping out of range. I also wouldn't be surprised if there was an uptick in the usual law enforcement "dirty deeds done dirt cheap" entrapment ads to snag people thinking in this way. I'd much prefer he get a nice long prison sentence to set an example, rather the vigilante justice. I think that scares banksters more.

There is more than enough money at play here that he shouldn't let his bodyguard's contract lapse any time soon. Anyone who didn't grow up in the priveledged elite reality bubble would be scared shitless about snipers -- of course, that might actually help TPTB as it would eliminate a key player with knowledge of both what happened, and more importantly, who ordered him to do it.

The more I think about it, the more I think Corzine should have a raging case of insomnia, if he were sane.

On the plus side, it took Ben himself to take out gold today, and we've already covered $30 from the low; I take this as a sign that they don't have many more Corzines in the wings, and thus running low on human assets and losing control of the big game.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 23:25 | 2210991 Al Huxley
Al Huxley's picture

'A nice long prison sentence...'   dream on my friend, dream on.  One of th benefits of being part of the ruling class is that you're not beholden to the rules that govern the great unwashed.  Corzine's only worry would be that his 'friends' throw him under the bus and make him part of said 'unwashed underclass'.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 22:44 | 2210865 bigwavedave
bigwavedave's picture

It's Jon. Just in case you go looking for him. 

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 22:56 | 2210898 johnnynaps
johnnynaps's picture

don't forget that the court still addresses him as the honorable.......what a joke of a system that is!!

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 10:55 | 2212444 Disenchanted
Disenchanted's picture

Apparently you haven't seen this:


Federal authorities are struggling to find evidence to support a criminal case stemming from the collapse of MF Global, even after a federal grand jury in Chicago has issued subpoenas.

and further on:


Indeed, a number of federal prosecutors have expressed doubts to others involved in the case that anyone at MF Global — including the firm’s chief executive, Jon S. Corzine, and back-office employees in Chicago — intentionally misused customer money, said people involved in the case who were not authorized to speak publicly about the investigation.

quotes from:


Doubtful Signs of a Criminal Case Against MF Global

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 21:33 | 2210574 Cdad
Cdad's picture

Yeah...that one was pinged around on Twitter today.  Totally disgusting.  The fellow should climb aboard a net jet and get the fuck out of here.

However, I'm going to stick with B. Bernanke from today's HH testimony FTW:   "We are not spending anyone's money."

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 21:42 | 2210605 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

I thought his best remark was:


[Looks over his shoulder]

Gold?  I don't....

[Looks back over his shoulder]

We don't have any gold....I was just looking for some confirmation....

[Looks back over his shoulder]

Uhm, we have certificates of gold, from the Treasurie.....we hold them as, um, reserves.

And this after last year's winner:

We hold gold as tradition.

Really?  Is he really this dumb?  Or does he think we won't remember when he lies and acts stupid?

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 22:41 | 2210852 Disenchanted
Disenchanted's picture


I wondered if anyone else caught that moment...


How did you like the Bernank smirk just then?

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 23:10 | 2210942 infinity8
infinity8's picture

Yes, he's really that dumb. The people in offices with official titles are subjected to an IQ cap. IMHO. Like cops. Dumbest fuckers you want to meet these days.

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 06:00 | 2211687 BlackholeDivestment
BlackholeDivestment's picture

...wrong, and maybe you will agree, they are evil. The reason why I say this is because, for some strange reason, which is now clear enough, I kept crossing paths with a brain surgeon, in the span of about three weeks or so, right when his new book about himself came out. Guys name is Ben Carson. I listened to this awesome story, as Dr. Ben, the Brain Surgeon spoke it in person in front of me. This guy separated twins connected at the brain. He did it in South Africa at a lesser Hospital there. The White nutballs  there rejected his request to use the best South Africa had to offer. The kids are normal teens now, running around perfectly normal. Anyway, so then I saw the guy again and that is when I found out he just wrote a book about it all. That was a weird coincidence. After that, I'm sitting and checking out what's on CSPAN, there he is again ...doing a signing in D.C. and CSPAN is there live, if I recall. I never knew or even heard this guys name, muchless saw him before or after this. Who shows up at the signing? The other Ben. Now there are two Dr. Bens, one that I though was a smart guy and the other an evil dipshit. So I'm listening and Chairsatan walks over and Carson starts talking, and kills my image of him, and says something so evil. He said people making 60 grand should not be so stupid to think they could afford a $350K house. Not sure now if that was the exact amount he said at the time, have to try to find the video on CSPAN again, but, it was something like that number. They laughed and I just wanted to puke where I sat. 

...would you call the offer of temptation evil? or is everyone in this case stupid including me? I mean wow, and this week I saw Rosemary's Baby using scripture, about being your brothers keeper, and wanted to puke again. These boys are some twisted sisters.

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 06:53 | 2211718 Disenchanted
Disenchanted's picture

Oh yeah I forgot...


How about the part where the Bernank says:


Most of the gold held by the USA is held by the Treasury not the Fed.


I believe that was about the time of the smirk I referred to above...if I remember correctly.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 21:31 | 2210577 cherry picker
cherry picker's picture

No wonder our world is as screwed up as it is.

Imagine, most of our politicians are cut from the same cloth as this fella.  No wonder Dr. Paul is ignored by the MSM.  They have all lost touch with reality.

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 06:19 | 2211700 BlackholeDivestment
BlackholeDivestment's picture

...Cherry, Benny and the 911 Jetsetters know exactly what they are doing.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 21:32 | 2210580 kindape
kindape's picture

I hear you. It does sound foolish. But our realities are all relative as opposed to absolute. As they will be going forward which is why Ive surrounded myself with farmers and teachers instead of real estate brokers and traders.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 21:35 | 2210585 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Attention all Executive Secretaries...hide your purses.

That is all.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 21:43 | 2210614 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

I first read that as hide your pussies.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 21:51 | 2210659 nmewn
nmewn's picture

The way these guys rape & pillage it wasn't far off.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 21:48 | 2210589 GeorgeHayduke
GeorgeHayduke's picture

Doesn't sound like he will do so well once the current paradigm implodes and he has to deal with a new reality involving less privilege in his life. I'm guessing quite a few folks will have a harsh awakening at that point in time.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 21:36 | 2210590 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

Some of the most entitlement minded people I know are millionaires, including those who inherited their wealth.   Human nature, I think.  

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 21:47 | 2210642 Max Fischer
Max Fischer's picture



No, it's not human nature.

It's just a typical Republican.

You, of all people, would love the book Pity the Billionaire, by Thomas Frank.  Next time you're in Barnes and Noble, take a look.

Max Fischer, Civis Mundi

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 21:56 | 2210693 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

It's the hypocrisy that really gets me about the Red Team, but I have seen plenty of entitlement philosophy on both teams.  Thanks for the book recommendation.  I'll check it out.  

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 22:15 | 2210773 Moneyswirth
Moneyswirth's picture

Yeah.  Typical Republican 1%-ers, like Jon Corzine, George Soros, various Wall Street CEOs, all of Hollywood, etc.

Such douchebags, these Republicans.

Get a clue...

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 22:22 | 2210796 tmosley
tmosley's picture

ITT tards think Republicans read or understand Rand.

ITT tards think THEY understand Rand.

ITT tards think that free men worship Rand.

ITT tards think there is a difference between their team and the other team.

ITT tards in general.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 22:38 | 2210841 mtomato2
mtomato2's picture

Tmos.  read my comment above and get back to me.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 23:04 | 2210929 Sophist Economicus
Sophist Economicus's picture

Thomas Frank = Moron = Max Fisher



Wed, 02/29/2012 - 21:39 | 2210591 bob_dabolina
bob_dabolina's picture

If the Fed keeps printing up Bennies like Zimbabwe $350,000 will be the qualifying income for food stamp participants.

The government has spent 6 TRILLION in 4 years. How do you think this shit ends as the pattern continues?

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 23:30 | 2211006 dwdollar
dwdollar's picture

Deflation!!! What do I win?!?!

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 21:38 | 2210597 kito
kito's picture

As biggie smalls once crooned..... Mo money mo problems....

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 22:41 | 2210850 natty light
natty light's picture


Wed, 02/29/2012 - 21:40 | 2210598 ultimate warrior
ultimate warrior's picture

This ass clown will be much worse off than all of us zerohedgers in a short time.  I actually pitty people like this as they know nothing of gold, silver, food storage, fishing, hunting, etc. People like this have no skills except for hoarding dollars. The illusion of wealth is about to come to an end.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 22:44 | 2210862 Disenchanted
Disenchanted's picture


Well they won't have to worry about toilet paper...

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 02:50 | 2211531 KickIce
KickIce's picture

So how is he gonna wipe his ass with 0s and 1s and a debit card?  'Splain yourself Lucy.

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