Guest Post: And The Douchebag Of The Year Award Goes To……

Tyler Durden's picture

Submitted by Mark McHugh from Across the Street

And The Douchebag Of The Year Award Goes To……

Unless February 29th is the new April Fool’s Day, I’m pretty sure  Alan Dlugash locked up DOTY with this remark:

People who don’t have money don’t understand the stress.   Could you imagine what it’s like to say I got three kids in private school, I have to think about pulling them out?   How do you do that?”

Dluglash is describing the horror of scraping by on $350,000 a year.   Really.  How could you lucky bastards ever understand?

Ordinary Americans, with their fancy foodstamps and foreclosure notices, are increasingly turning a blind eye to the plight of the people who outsourced their jobs.  You  just don’t get it, do you?    These people are light years smarter than you, and they work really hard.  Now things are so dire, some are actually considering sending their kids to school with your germy kids.   It’s bad.

Some have even been forced to shop for discount Salmon.  How could people who enjoy cat food ever understand that kind of humiliation?  If someone doesn’t halt this death spiral soon they may have to settle for Microsoft products (which even poor people hate).  

This is all a joke, right?  Cause if it’s not, wait ’til they find out about Walmart….


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ffart's picture

Philosophies based off the self interest and greed inherent in humanity are the only ones that are SUS-TAIN-A-BLE.

KickIce's picture

Agreed. but greed needs to be held in check by rules that apply to all and personal risk.  The US has removed both through it's crony capitalist system and bailout mentality.

Sophist Economicus's picture

Personal greed needs no rules UNLESS that greed impinges on the rights of other individuals....Those rules are basic natural laws that most people would agree with and, through the years of human history, have encompassed what is known as 'common law'...


KickIce's picture

Personal greed needs no rules UNLESS that greed impinges on the rights of other individuals....

And they will, everytime.  Common law or common sense doesn't work for the 1%.  If you allow them to be above the law you get... well you get the current US situation.  I agree that we don't need the 10's of thousands of regs currently on the books because all they do is effectively state "you are not allowed to do such and such, unless...(enter exception clause(s) here)"  The Founders were well aware that lady justice must be blind. 

sun tzu's picture

That's where the socialists and big brother types are wrong. Anybody is free to make as much money as they want as long as they do not steal from others. Where is the crime in starting a business and making huge profits by selling a legitimate product or service? Only the 0bama types think that profit is a crime, unless they profit off crony capitalism

KickIce's picture

That's where social injustice comes into play.  They select a group they think has been wronged, coincidently this is usually their voting base, and set about to correct it.  As a  resu;t we get more regs and the noose of big government gets tighter around our necks.  And of course, they just flat out pander to the Wall Street types.

Likstane's picture

Where did 'common' or 'natural' law come from?  Are you regulating that greed by your own moral compass?  If you agree with Ayn on self-regulating personal greed, then you must conclude there is a principle of goodness in yourself, thereby eliminating the need for God.  Good luck with that.

MayerRothschild's picture

I happen to find Taoism quite the contrary...

Manifest plainness,
Embrace simplicity,
Reduce selfishness,
Have few desires.

chindit13's picture

I've often wondered if George Orwell would have written a sequel to Animal Farm had he lived to see the publication of Rand's work.  I suspect he would have done so.

malek's picture

What most Ayn Rand haters don't understand is that more regulators and other gov't bureaucrats are not going to save them. In the best case they will sue the owner after you have drowned, and add 200 pages of legislation on lifeboats.

LetThemEatRand's picture

Wrong.  Ayn Rand haters think that there is a whole world out there beyond government regulators and fucking douchebag narcissists.  Ayn Rand worshipers think there is a Bentley dealership with their entitlement car waiting for them.

sun tzu's picture

Why do fucking douchebag cocksuckers like you care what others do? Why don't you pissbags complain about the corrupt government regulators who refuse to enforce the law? Instead you fascist cocksuckers keep bitching about people who are successful on their own without handouts from the government.

sun tzu's picture

I haven't seen you comment about John Corzine and what your precious regulators have done. I haven't seen you comment on the douchebag obama's proclamation that no crime was committed at MFG. What do you think about that situation?

You hate this guy who makes $350K per year, how about the guy who stole $1.2 billion and the DOJ that refuses to bring any charges? How about the douchebag president who greedily accepted tens of millions bundled up by Corzine?

Cathartes Aura's picture

ahh, such clear thinking in your words r00t61 - great post!

their Pavlovian desire to acquire fiat $$$ has overridden all sense of morality and rationality, will get none from me.  They deserve to bear the brunt of the consequences for their "thintelligent" behavior - mastering details of high finance, but utterly failing to grasp the larger picture of the rise and fall of all empires.
All that stuff that Schiff and the rest of these loons wants - material possessions - was only made possible by American Empire; just like massive country houses and servants were only made possible by British Empire.

not enough acknowledgment that amrkn "lifestyles" have come on the back of those nationstates occupied by corporate military making the space "safe" for big business, sucking up resources, and humans, in the name of "humanitarian regime change" - all of this allowed  amrka to "prosper" over the decades. . .

and now that corporations are looking elsewhere in their race to the bottom, with the highest positioned reaping huge multiples of the lowest paid wages, all pretense at benevolence is gone, and we are left listening to the wails of the wealthy - "but but - we deserve better! and more!"

says who?


Calmyourself's picture

He can eat ya darling but first which union is in your shop?

crowdoc's picture

Yes, unfortunately for Randistas we're individuals condemned to live in groups.  Thus nobody gets it all their own way all the time.  I think the current state of the global economy indicates something inherently wrong in simplistic notions of mere self-interest being sufficient to organize populations of millions or more.  But that's just me, ya'll are free to do your thing anyway...

NeoRandian's picture

Rand should be thrilled to participate in the Market by letting herself be eaten.

DevilsPrinciple's picture

I would've thought Corzine qualified as the Douchebag of the Year. Who knew?

A Lunatic's picture

Let him be fisted...............

Will To Live's picture

A mouthfull of bloody Chicklets for him.

Majere's picture

Cake or death is a very easy question to answer now isn't it.  Well we are all out of cake, so choose.

alfred b.'s picture


   FYI.....he's already eating cake....but what IS wrong with him is that he wouldn't know the difference between cake and a bale of hay!

...elitous douchebag!!!


Calmyourself's picture

Cake in this context may not mean what you think it means..

thatthingcanfly's picture

I saw the article on Yahoo today and couldn't believe it. But then I was distracted by more important stuff like Snooki being pregnant.


Al Huxley's picture

Good for you, way to focus on what's important.  A model for all of us, I say...

Oleander's picture

Davy Jones is DEAD!!  No more Pleasant Valley Sundays!

DevilsPrinciple's picture

I would have thought Corzine would be the hands down Douchebag of the Year award winner. Who knew?

Zero Govt's picture

I was thinking Bumma, an obvious candidate as it's now crystal clear the biggest suicide socialist spending orgy in global history did fuk-all for the US economy last year and won't arrive this year either

But Bubble Ben must run him a close 2nd given evey 'solution' (QE1, QE2, QE-Lite, QE-Twist, QE Under-the-Table, QE Back-Door and soon QE-Toxic-Mortgage) has failed requirng yet another fuking misguided program

as failures go these two losers are historic epic figures

Alea Iactaest's picture

How can you say they are failures? If their goal is to destroy the USA then they are succeeding beyond any historic measure. They have accomplished what no other adversary has in almost 250 years. (Just a matter of perspective, that's all.)


Fuck, there goes my self-imposed ban on posting. Made it 2 days...

Alea Iactaest's picture

Junk? Guess I should have put the /s tag on. Thought it was obvious.

Zero Govt's picture

i admire your self-discipline not to post

lasted 2 days you say? ....formiddable... my 'No Popcorn' diet collapses in under 5 hours usually

Stack Trace's picture

It is all relative...until you get a pitch-fork shoved in your douchebag ass.

Honestly I hope these idiots get more coverage. Time for a revolt. Tired of being paid for my labor in fraudulent money and my asking prices suppressed by global cartels. Time for some assholes to get tapped and capped.

Reese Bobby's picture

This is a popular comment?  Bravado by yet another internet tough guy?


You want to impress me pal.  Tell me something you have done this week to be generous and supportive of someone in your immediate community.  I didn't think so.

Zero Govt's picture

i'm an internet tough guy and i fucked a chicken

..and no i'm not triyng to impress you, i'm trying to depress you

BTW before you write "I didn't think so" again give the guy a chance to respond (and get his dick out the chicken)

Reese Bobby's picture

Don't black people resent white trash acting black?  I would.

Zero Govt's picture

you've a fantastic imagination've easily impressed me internet tough guy

now go fuck a chicken

stirners_ghost's picture

It takes a tough man to make a tender forecast.

Keep fuckin' that chicken.

Stack Trace's picture

Tough as nails.


Ok, this week? Not much. This last year:

Community clean-up organized.

Helped 4 people change their eating habits.

Helped 2 people through divorces.

Helped my nephew with college after he returned from duty in Iraq.

Donated to USO, Ron Paul, Red Cross.

Volunteered at the Library.

Donated to womens' shelter (several times).

Donated to earthquake relief for Japan.

Hired several people in my business paying good wages (6 figure) instead of off-shoring.

Attend community crime watch meetings.

Not a saint, but not a douche-bag like you.

Likstane's picture

For all of us have become like one who is unclean, And all our righteous deeds are like a filthy garment; And all of us wither like a leaf (timeline thing again), and our iniquities, like the wind,take us away.  Isaiah 64:6 (I added the parenthesis)

StychoKiller's picture

Go forth, alleviate some suffering:  htpp://

Somewhere in the World, a child needs yer help for around $35/month.

sun tzu's picture

So now we're going after people who make $350K per year? While I feel no sympathy for him, he is nowhere near filthy rich, especially if he lives in NYC or SF. Half the people at Google make more than that. Maybe they should all be strung up too. 

0bozo and his class warfare rhetoric has gotten to you. The people we need to target are the bluebloods, billionaires and multi-national corporations that are using their wealth to loot the nation through bribing politicians and regulators.

Notice that the class warfare cretins never talk about the crony capitalists and bailouts. The useful idiots only target small and medium businesses and successful professionals with more regulations and taxes, when they were not the ones that looted and bankrupted the world. The class warfare cretins are the tools and mouthpieces of the wealthy elites that control the world and are trying to deflect attention away from their masters. 

hamurobby's picture

Divided and conquered we are, hmmm.

surf0766's picture

Clearly he is an optimistic leader. He needs a promotion and bonus.

TheGoodDoctor's picture

Jesus Fucking Christ is about all I have to say about that. Wow. I hope someone tosses a pie in his face or even KO's the dickhead.