Guest Post: And The Douchebag Of The Year Award Goes To……

Tyler Durden's picture


Submitted by Mark McHugh from Across the Street

And The Douchebag Of The Year Award Goes To……

Unless February 29th is the new April Fool’s Day, I’m pretty sure  Alan Dlugash locked up DOTY with this remark:

People who don’t have money don’t understand the stress.   Could you imagine what it’s like to say I got three kids in private school, I have to think about pulling them out?   How do you do that?”

Dluglash is describing the horror of scraping by on $350,000 a year.   Really.  How could you lucky bastards ever understand?

Ordinary Americans, with their fancy foodstamps and foreclosure notices, are increasingly turning a blind eye to the plight of the people who outsourced their jobs.  You  just don’t get it, do you?    These people are light years smarter than you, and they work really hard.  Now things are so dire, some are actually considering sending their kids to school with your germy kids.   It’s bad.

Some have even been forced to shop for discount Salmon.  How could people who enjoy cat food ever understand that kind of humiliation?  If someone doesn’t halt this death spiral soon they may have to settle for Microsoft products (which even poor people hate).  

This is all a joke, right?  Cause if it’s not, wait ’til they find out about Walmart….


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Wed, 02/29/2012 - 23:04 | 2210928 ffart
ffart's picture

Philosophies based off the self interest and greed inherent in humanity are the only ones that are SUS-TAIN-A-BLE.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 23:22 | 2210983 KickIce
KickIce's picture

Agreed. but greed needs to be held in check by rules that apply to all and personal risk.  The US has removed both through it's crony capitalist system and bailout mentality.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 23:34 | 2211021 Sophist Economicus
Sophist Economicus's picture

Personal greed needs no rules UNLESS that greed impinges on the rights of other individuals....Those rules are basic natural laws that most people would agree with and, through the years of human history, have encompassed what is known as 'common law'...


Thu, 03/01/2012 - 00:03 | 2211121 KickIce
KickIce's picture

Personal greed needs no rules UNLESS that greed impinges on the rights of other individuals....

And they will, everytime.  Common law or common sense doesn't work for the 1%.  If you allow them to be above the law you get... well you get the current US situation.  I agree that we don't need the 10's of thousands of regs currently on the books because all they do is effectively state "you are not allowed to do such and such, unless...(enter exception clause(s) here)"  The Founders were well aware that lady justice must be blind. 

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 00:33 | 2211201 sun tzu
sun tzu's picture

That's where the socialists and big brother types are wrong. Anybody is free to make as much money as they want as long as they do not steal from others. Where is the crime in starting a business and making huge profits by selling a legitimate product or service? Only the 0bama types think that profit is a crime, unless they profit off crony capitalism

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 01:47 | 2211409 KickIce
KickIce's picture

That's where social injustice comes into play.  They select a group they think has been wronged, coincidently this is usually their voting base, and set about to correct it.  As a  resu;t we get more regs and the noose of big government gets tighter around our necks.  And of course, they just flat out pander to the Wall Street types.

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 05:57 | 2211690 DevilsPrinciple
DevilsPrinciple's picture



Thu, 03/01/2012 - 02:50 | 2211533 Likstane
Likstane's picture

Where did 'common' or 'natural' law come from?  Are you regulating that greed by your own moral compass?  If you agree with Ayn on self-regulating personal greed, then you must conclude there is a principle of goodness in yourself, thereby eliminating the need for God.  Good luck with that.

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 03:07 | 2211548 MayerRothschild
MayerRothschild's picture

I happen to find Taoism quite the contrary...

Manifest plainness,
Embrace simplicity,
Reduce selfishness,
Have few desires.

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 03:52 | 2211586 scaleindependent
scaleindependent's picture


How about this example of self interest and greed?

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 00:02 | 2211119 chindit13
chindit13's picture

I've often wondered if George Orwell would have written a sequel to Animal Farm had he lived to see the publication of Rand's work.  I suspect he would have done so.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 23:01 | 2210916 Yes We Can. But...
Yes We Can. But Lets Not.'s picture

Thank you.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 22:46 | 2210869 malek
malek's picture

What most Ayn Rand haters don't understand is that more regulators and other gov't bureaucrats are not going to save them. In the best case they will sue the owner after you have drowned, and add 200 pages of legislation on lifeboats.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 23:49 | 2211072 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

Wrong.  Ayn Rand haters think that there is a whole world out there beyond government regulators and fucking douchebag narcissists.  Ayn Rand worshipers think there is a Bentley dealership with their entitlement car waiting for them.

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 00:37 | 2211208 sun tzu
sun tzu's picture

Why do fucking douchebag cocksuckers like you care what others do? Why don't you pissbags complain about the corrupt government regulators who refuse to enforce the law? Instead you fascist cocksuckers keep bitching about people who are successful on their own without handouts from the government.

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 00:50 | 2211254 sun tzu
sun tzu's picture

I haven't seen you comment about John Corzine and what your precious regulators have done. I haven't seen you comment on the douchebag obama's proclamation that no crime was committed at MFG. What do you think about that situation?

You hate this guy who makes $350K per year, how about the guy who stole $1.2 billion and the DOJ that refuses to bring any charges? How about the douchebag president who greedily accepted tens of millions bundled up by Corzine?

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 03:43 | 2211572 scaleindependent
Wed, 02/29/2012 - 23:35 | 2211027 Cathartes Aura
Cathartes Aura's picture

ahh, such clear thinking in your words r00t61 - great post!

their Pavlovian desire to acquire fiat $$$ has overridden all sense of morality and rationality, will get none from me.  They deserve to bear the brunt of the consequences for their "thintelligent" behavior - mastering details of high finance, but utterly failing to grasp the larger picture of the rise and fall of all empires.
All that stuff that Schiff and the rest of these loons wants - material possessions - was only made possible by American Empire; just like massive country houses and servants were only made possible by British Empire.

not enough acknowledgment that amrkn "lifestyles" have come on the back of those nationstates occupied by corporate military making the space "safe" for big business, sucking up resources, and humans, in the name of "humanitarian regime change" - all of this allowed  amrka to "prosper" over the decades. . .

and now that corporations are looking elsewhere in their race to the bottom, with the highest positioned reaping huge multiples of the lowest paid wages, all pretense at benevolence is gone, and we are left listening to the wails of the wealthy - "but but - we deserve better! and more!"

says who?


Wed, 02/29/2012 - 23:12 | 2210952 Calmyourself
Calmyourself's picture

He can eat ya darling but first which union is in your shop?

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 23:23 | 2210985 crowdoc
crowdoc's picture

Yes, unfortunately for Randistas we're individuals condemned to live in groups.  Thus nobody gets it all their own way all the time.  I think the current state of the global economy indicates something inherently wrong in simplistic notions of mere self-interest being sufficient to organize populations of millions or more.  But that's just me, ya'll are free to do your thing anyway...

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 01:07 | 2211311 NeoRandian
NeoRandian's picture

Rand should be thrilled to participate in the Market by letting herself be eaten.

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 11:22 | 2212565 DevilsPrinciple
DevilsPrinciple's picture

I would've thought Corzine qualified as the Douchebag of the Year. Who knew?

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 22:26 | 2210782 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

Let him be fisted...............

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 00:00 | 2211112 Will To Live
Will To Live's picture

A mouthfull of bloody Chicklets for him.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 22:54 | 2210888 Majere
Majere's picture

Cake or death is a very easy question to answer now isn't it.  Well we are all out of cake, so choose.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 22:59 | 2210912 alfred b.
alfred b.'s picture


   FYI.....he's already eating cake....but what IS wrong with him is that he wouldn't know the difference between cake and a bale of hay!

...elitous douchebag!!!


Wed, 02/29/2012 - 23:21 | 2210980 Calmyourself
Calmyourself's picture

Cake in this context may not mean what you think it means..

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 08:45 | 2211848 johnQpublic
johnQpublic's picture

dont let him eat

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 21:51 | 2210656 thatthingcanfly
thatthingcanfly's picture

I saw the article on Yahoo today and couldn't believe it. But then I was distracted by more important stuff like Snooki being pregnant.


Wed, 02/29/2012 - 23:19 | 2210974 Al Huxley
Al Huxley's picture

Good for you, way to focus on what's important.  A model for all of us, I say...

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 23:51 | 2211081 Oleander
Oleander's picture

Davy Jones is DEAD!!  No more Pleasant Valley Sundays!

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 11:45 | 2212701 DevilsPrinciple
DevilsPrinciple's picture

I would have thought Corzine would be the hands down Douchebag of the Year award winner. Who knew?

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 21:26 | 2210557 Theta_Burn
Theta_Burn's picture

Ben Bernanke

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 23:26 | 2210913 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

I was thinking Bumma, an obvious candidate as it's now crystal clear the biggest suicide socialist spending orgy in global history did fuk-all for the US economy last year and won't arrive this year either

But Bubble Ben must run him a close 2nd given evey 'solution' (QE1, QE2, QE-Lite, QE-Twist, QE Under-the-Table, QE Back-Door and soon QE-Toxic-Mortgage) has failed requirng yet another fuking misguided program

as failures go these two losers are historic epic figures

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 23:49 | 2211075 Alea Iactaest
Alea Iactaest's picture

How can you say they are failures? If their goal is to destroy the USA then they are succeeding beyond any historic measure. They have accomplished what no other adversary has in almost 250 years. (Just a matter of perspective, that's all.)


Fuck, there goes my self-imposed ban on posting. Made it 2 days...

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 00:01 | 2211115 Alea Iactaest
Alea Iactaest's picture

Junk? Guess I should have put the /s tag on. Thought it was obvious.

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 05:29 | 2211675 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

i admire your self-discipline not to post

lasted 2 days you say? ....formiddable... my 'No Popcorn' diet collapses in under 5 hours usually

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 21:30 | 2210560 Stack Trace
Stack Trace's picture

It is all relative...until you get a pitch-fork shoved in your douchebag ass.

Honestly I hope these idiots get more coverage. Time for a revolt. Tired of being paid for my labor in fraudulent money and my asking prices suppressed by global cartels. Time for some assholes to get tapped and capped.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 22:58 | 2210901 Reese Bobby
Reese Bobby's picture

This is a popular comment?  Bravado by yet another internet tough guy?


You want to impress me pal.  Tell me something you have done this week to be generous and supportive of someone in your immediate community.  I didn't think so.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 23:13 | 2210937 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

i'm an internet tough guy and i fucked a chicken

..and no i'm not triyng to impress you, i'm trying to depress you

BTW before you write "I didn't think so" again give the guy a chance to respond (and get his dick out the chicken)

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 23:18 | 2210973 Reese Bobby
Reese Bobby's picture

Don't black people resent white trash acting black?  I would.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 23:32 | 2211012 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

you've a fantastic imagination've easily impressed me internet tough guy

now go fuck a chicken

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 01:58 | 2211431 stirners_ghost
stirners_ghost's picture

It takes a tough man to make a tender forecast.

Keep fuckin' that chicken.

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 01:42 | 2211396 Stack Trace
Stack Trace's picture

Tough as nails.


Ok, this week? Not much. This last year:

Community clean-up organized.

Helped 4 people change their eating habits.

Helped 2 people through divorces.

Helped my nephew with college after he returned from duty in Iraq.

Donated to USO, Ron Paul, Red Cross.

Volunteered at the Library.

Donated to womens' shelter (several times).

Donated to earthquake relief for Japan.

Hired several people in my business paying good wages (6 figure) instead of off-shoring.

Attend community crime watch meetings.

Not a saint, but not a douche-bag like you.

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 03:05 | 2211546 Likstane
Likstane's picture

For all of us have become like one who is unclean, And all our righteous deeds are like a filthy garment; And all of us wither like a leaf (timeline thing again), and our iniquities, like the wind,take us away.  Isaiah 64:6 (I added the parenthesis)

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 04:26 | 2211624 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Go forth, alleviate some suffering:  htpp://

Somewhere in the World, a child needs yer help for around $35/month.

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 00:45 | 2211239 sun tzu
sun tzu's picture

So now we're going after people who make $350K per year? While I feel no sympathy for him, he is nowhere near filthy rich, especially if he lives in NYC or SF. Half the people at Google make more than that. Maybe they should all be strung up too. 

0bozo and his class warfare rhetoric has gotten to you. The people we need to target are the bluebloods, billionaires and multi-national corporations that are using their wealth to loot the nation through bribing politicians and regulators.

Notice that the class warfare cretins never talk about the crony capitalists and bailouts. The useful idiots only target small and medium businesses and successful professionals with more regulations and taxes, when they were not the ones that looted and bankrupted the world. The class warfare cretins are the tools and mouthpieces of the wealthy elites that control the world and are trying to deflect attention away from their masters. 

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 06:37 | 2211709 hamurobby
hamurobby's picture

Divided and conquered we are, hmmm.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 21:28 | 2210563 surf0766
surf0766's picture

Clearly he is an optimistic leader. He needs a promotion and bonus.

Wed, 02/29/2012 - 21:28 | 2210565 TheGoodDoctor
TheGoodDoctor's picture

Jesus Fucking Christ is about all I have to say about that. Wow. I hope someone tosses a pie in his face or even KO's the dickhead.

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