Guest Post: Be Honest CNBC - You Are Biased Against Ron Paul

Tyler Durden's picture

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wisefool's picture

10) Aliens will arrive, and humanity will unify to fight them off. We will first get them to finance the invasion and the rebellion, wiping out all debt. Then we will win several televised battles against a space traveling race with some EPIC acts of physical heroism (america fuck yeah)

11) But most importantly,we will defeat them with the cutural and economic genious of our Ivy League clergy. Nobel Laureate Paul Krugman shall be Obama's 5 star general. CNBC will cover the war 24x7.

RiverRoad's picture

Making their advertisers very rich and batshit happy.

wisefool's picture

Right out of starship troopers. "Would you like to know more?"

XitSam's picture

That's the movie.  The book is recommended.

markt61's picture

It certainly must be late for a minute I thought you might be serious.

Robot Traders Mom's picture

ZH is the wrong spot to push your bullshit.

Beat it, nerd.

NotApplicable's picture

Nearly everywhere else it would be taken for gospel.

Max Fischer's picture




How can you be so incredibly dense that you can't recognize the sarcasm and satire of MDB?  Does everything need to be spelled out for you in /sarc and \sarc format?


Max Fischer, Civis Mundi


Isotope's picture

This may be an example of Poe's Law at work.

As for me, I can't tell if he's being facetious or is just the biggest troll on the board.

"Any sufficiently advanced troll is indistinguishable from a genuine kook."

This may just be a guy who is so good, he's a 10/10 on all of his posts. Check for that hook in the back of your mouth.

MolotovCockhead's picture

And fuck those dreaming of million dollars bonus!

infotechsailor's picture

4. Triple the minimum wage to boost living standards




What about the living standards of every small business in the country? anyone who isn't worth more than $20/ hour to their company would be fired immediately, you have no understanding of economics.

bxy's picture

Congrats, are the biggest douche on this board.......and that is saying something.

Nothing To See Here's picture

MDB, I always have a good time reading your satire, but this time you had me LMAO with

3. A guaranteed government job for all unemployed Americans

4. Triple the minimum wage to boost living standards

Keep it up buddy

undercover brother's picture

Where do you get the drugs you're obviously using....zucotti park?

RoiBoi's picture

"5. BAN all imported goods that compete with AMERICAN exports to boost our manufacturing base"


This one brought a wry grin to my face.  Thanks MDB, I needed that. 

That so many here don't appreciate MDB's skills is both perplexing and sad.

Tip of my First Post Hat to the Colbert of ZH. 

moonman's picture

You forgot to mention a 5 bedroom house for all regardless of income.

Also .35 a gallon gasoline for their taxpayer funded SUV

trembo slice's picture

MillonDollarBonus keeps getting worse and worse... you know as much about economics as my dog.

Carl Spackler's picture

Million dollar bonus, 

You forgot #6... sit on your behind and do nothing like the entitled European socialists and watch your whole fantasy world collapse upon itself. 

Al Gorerhythm's picture

Ahhahahahahahahhahah. We have an international failure of the greatest socialiast experiment in the history of society and you propose .......... more socialism. ahahahahahahahahahahah.

You're funny.

True fuckwitism believer. Kumbaiyah comrade, kumbiayah.

Seer's picture

But but... FOX News is Fair and Balanced!

Sorry, folks, but this is the reason why I no longer waste any of my energies on political campaigns.  TPTB always get their politician: anything other than status quo need not apply.  "money = free speech" means that those with the money get to speak more.

Gavrikon's picture

Don't watch it, myself.  But I DO like Judge Napolitano.

RockyRacoon's picture

True enough.  Judge Neopolitan (I like ice cream) is about as libertarian as you'll get on the tele-viewing-machine.

As for Dr. Paul, what I don't get is why the RNC doesn't run him as their tier 1 candidate!  He is of an age where he will never hold another public office, and therefore sacrificed without worrying about incumbency; he will begin to bring the system into line with its historic roots and mission; he will be at the helm when the major turds begin to hit the fan; and, he can be blamed for all this with impunity!   He's the perfect patsy.   On the other hand, such a blatant attempt to game the system could be seen through like a sheer nighty.   They could be running this current crop of losers to make Dr. Paul look like the genius that he actually is.  Oooh, those crafty Republicans! 

XitSam's picture

Libertarian on TV?  John Stossel.

GCT's picture

Seer Fox did the same dam thing.  Ron Paul was winning the online straw pool and they took it down!  They too are just patsies on the other side of the fence.  None of them are fair and balanced LOLOL!

FMR Bankster's picture

Fox HATES Ron Paul. Only a mainstream corporate candidate will do.

RiverRoad's picture

Fox's advertisers hate Ron Paul.  The talking head puppets do and say what they're told.

RiverRoad's picture

"TPTB always get their politician."  Always?  Truman was a big surprise.

forexskin's picture

"TPTB always get their politician."  Always?  Truman was a big surprise.

Not so. They got immediate recognition of Isreal upon his election - quid pro quo for the last chunk of over the top election $.

Reform1776's picture

Simple Solution: ZeroHedge should add a poll, allowing its readers to vote on who won each debate.

ATM's picture

I watch every morning that Kernan is on so I canwatch Andrew Ross Sorkin soil his pink underwear each time Kernan jabs him to defend his communist leanings. He can't and you can see the pain as he tries to hold back the turtle hea. At some point the whole turd is going to come plowing out of his ass and I want to see it live!

israhole's picture

You probably like pro wrestling, too.

Let them all fail's picture

Fuck that, I refuse to watch CNBC, you should too

Tramp Stamper's picture

ZERO HEDGE TV?  The new internet tv station for the best live financial news that tells the truth about the markets around the world

Let them all fail's picture

Thought about that the other day, great idea, would be like a FoxNews of truth where "Tyler" sets the truth agenda and the anchors do as their told.

smiler03's picture

Mustn't forget the hot chicks with 175 layers of make-up as presenters.... but.... maybe not, viewers wouldn't know which channel they were watching. [I talk of European Bloomberg & CNBC].

RiverRoad's picture

< Let them all fail>  They watch us; we watch them back.  That's all.

eureka's picture

Invalid Motivation - if you must watch CNBC's garbage propaganda to be "informed" about their predictable spins and lies, then watch it in snippets online.

Any zerohedger who watches CNBC supports their ratings and thus ad revenue generation and tax-evading, pseudo-bank, scumbag parent company GE and thus corporatism, elitism, and the fascist/corporatist and national-socialist US Empire, which exists solely for the elite - i.e. the upper few thousand people, who own nearly everything.

Extricate yourself. Passive peeping into the elite's circus macabre via their channels - is equal to culpability.

How many German's said after the nazi reign "we couldn't do anything" or "we didn't know" - well, today that question is irrelevant, because there are no excuses.


Raskolnikoff's picture

Why the Republican Party continues to enable the Democratic Media Establishments to control public debates is beyond reason. Hello Republican Party Chairman, we have the internet now and talk radio...we don't need televised debates controlled and steared by the opposition.

WonderDawg's picture

You don't get it. The Repubs and Dems are owned by the same masters. Wake up.

LawsofPhysics's picture

Most do not want to wake up, they want to be entertained and taken care of.

Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

Talking about being awake, has everyone else noticed how when Paul speaks, the rest of the candidates take mental notes.  Watch a clip, Paul demands more attention and respect from the other candidates than anyone.  That right there tells you who is the leader of the group.  It is Ron Paul.

orangedrinkandchips's picture

VERY little difference between them both....both are shit-bags

Nascent_Variable's picture

Exactly.  And this is why they will never allow Ron Paul the airtime he needs to spread his message.

TPTB have spent a long time and a fortune in resources to build the narrative that everyone buys - Republicans are pro-business and Democrats are pro-poor people.  In reality, both parties are simple tools of the same masters.  They are entities that exist to put on a show and convince people that they have some say in how the world works.

Ron Paul challenges all that, but he needs people to listen to him to get through years of partisan programming.  He will not be given that chance in the Republican primary.

RiverRoad's picture

There's always Springtime in America.  The internet can make the MSM redundant.

Dapper Dan's picture

 We have had enough lawyers in the white house over the last hundred years.

Let's put a doctor in this time around, someone who can heal, has empathy, compassion, and the ability to write prescriptions to help sedate congress.

I think I have a new bumper sticker.


i-dog's picture

I've got a better one:



Plata con Carne's picture