Guest Post: The Fed's Secret Phone Menu

Tyler Durden's picture

Submitted by Charles Hugh Smith from Of Two Minds

The Fed's Secret Phone Menu

Very few know about the Federal Reserve's "other" phone number. You know, the one reserved for those in the innermost ring of power. Someone gifted me the number, and I found it offered up the most curious menu of choices:

Greetings. Please select one of the following options.

 

The Working Group for Global Domination does not exist. Members please press 1.

 

If you are a European leader seeking a secret bailout, please press 2.

 

If you are Chinese leader seeking assistance purchasing another Beverly Hills mansion with cash, please press 3.

 

If you are a domestic banker seeking another tranch of our $29 trillion in backstop funding, please press 4.

 

If you are an incumbent POTUS seeking re-election in a recessionary year, please press 5.

 

If you represent one of our proxy trading desks, please press 6 for your S&P 500 futures purchase instructions. As a reminder, please trade your own account via black pools.

 

If you would like today's target for the S&P 500 and Treasuries to assist in trading your own individual account, please press 7.

 

For bulk purchases of Hopium and/or Delusionol, please press 8.

Curious, indeed. America's privately owned central bank is an enchanted world, to be sure, where shadow systems do not officially exist, where blatant manipulation of the stock market is denied, and where global bankers get preferential treatment of all their needs.

In this shadow system, democracy, accountability and transparency do not exist. Within the innermost ring of power, democracy is merely the necessary illusion maintained for the psychological benefit of the easily distracted debt-serfs.

As long as they believe in democracy, social mobility and the supremacy of American might, they are happy to while away their time playing or watching mindless games. It's the perfect setup for easy control.

And if they get restive, there's always food stamps and a media-injected "treatment" of Delusionol.