Guest Post: Get Ready To Start Paying These Taxes Too

Tyler Durden's picture

Submitted by Simon Black of Sovereign Man

Get Ready To Start Paying These Taxes Too

In the pre-dawn darkness of a chilly LA morning, my day started off with a chuckle. A friend in the reforestation business sent me an email detailing the US Department of Agriculture’s new ‘Christmas Tree’ tax that was approved yesterday.  I thought it was a joke. It wasn’t.

One can only laugh at the absurdity of the government getting involved in such a matter. But it’s happening more and more.

You see, the United States is on a one-way collision course with its financial judgment day; the country long ago passed the historical point of no return– the point at which it has to start borrowing money simply to pay interest on the money it has already borrowed.

Throughout history, countries that passed this point of no return soon defaulted on their debts, entered into extended periods of severe inflation, or both. This is nothing new– the idea of a government going bankrupt is practically as old as the concept of government itself.

Along the way as they slide down the slippery slope of economic calamity, governments typically hit the accelerator by resorting to financial repression; rather than making the economy open and attractive to talented people and investment capital, they instead confiscate, inflate, and overregulate.

These tactics include oldies but goodies like civil asset forfeiture, capital controls, and a host of whacky new taxes. Like a Christmas Tree tax, for example.

Sumptuary laws (regulation and taxes over lifestyle habits) are quite common, dating back to the Renaissance period ‘beard taxes’. If you wore a beard during the time of Peter the Great in Russia, or Henry VIII in England, you paid a tax to the government for the privilege.

There are many modern day equivalents of the beard tax– taxes on cigarettes, mobile phones, vehicles, luxury goods, etc. We should expect the introduction of even more– a national sales tax, an Internet tax, a carbon emissions tax, and a financial transactions tax.

After this, the next mind-boggling category of taxes that will be introduced are ‘social taxes’. In other words, you get taxed on what everyone else is doing… like an anti-terrorism security tax, or better yet, national healthcare where you pay for other people to go to the doctor.

During the Tokugawa period in feudal Japan, they called this ‘honto mononari’. Village peasants were taxed by the local daimyo on the basis of the entire village’s rice yield for that season. Even if you didn’t grow a single grain, you still paid.

Perhaps the most heinous forms of taxes to come, though, are asset taxes. And at roughly $5 trillion in total value, individual retirement accounts (IRAs) are the lowest hanging fruit that the federal government can grab.

It’s not that far-fetched. Argentina has done it. Hungary and Ireland have done it. Even France passed a law last year authorizing the government to use pension fund assets to pay off its debts. And if you recall, the US Treasury raided public pensions this year to tide itself over during the budget debacle.

The next step will be for the government to nationalize a portion of IRA assets. They’ll wait for a severe market downturn that wipes a huge chunk from most IRA accounts, blame capitalism for the failure, and then pass a law requiring that X% of IRA funds be held in the ‘safety and security’ of government debt.

If you think this can’t happen, then I encourage you to do absolutely nothing. Keep your IRA funds parked with a big, conventionally-thinking financial institution that has absolutely no interest in your financial security.

If, on the other hand, you can see the writing on the wall, then one of the biggest no-brainers you can undertake is establishing an Open Opportunity IRA.

This is a structure where YOU take control over your own retirement funds, opening up your savings to a world of possibilities and protecting against government confiscation.

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Hannibal's picture

Don't Comply, Don't Buy!

X.inf.capt's picture

are TPTB trying to force the 99% into anachrocapitalism...

into a barter society...


taxing the hell out of christmas???

CPL's picture

Agreed, Obama the Grinch.

UP Forester's picture

We must tax Christmas trees, or the terrorist will try to bomb them.... err.... wait.... sorry.

Hulk's picture

Oh Tannenbomb, oh Tannenbomb...

SGS's picture

You know who I blame and it isn't the "Christmas Tree Checkoff Task Force”.  They steal our education, media and politicians.  Fuck just leave Christmas alone.  Its the only time I get to spend worthless dollars buying shit I get bored of by January 3rd.

Janice's picture

Fight the government! Cut you own tree!

narapoiddyslexia's picture

Its not a tax on Christmas trees, its an industry surcharge that was not going to be passed on to the consumer.

"The USDA said most growers are in favor of the fee because it would ultimately help their bottom line. Agriculture Department spokesman Michael T. Jarvis told that there are over 20 similar promotional campaigns supported by the department, which have helped their respective industry grow.

"We have good reason to believe it [would] be successful for our industry," Betty Malone, an Oregon tree farmer and president of Christmas Tree Promotion Now, told the Miami HeraldTuesday. "We looked at what other industries have done, and how successful they've been."

See this link for your self. I'm afraid Simon Sovereign Guy is talking his book again, which is to get you to buy his crap. And he has a lot of that to offload onto someone.


Pladizow's picture

Employee Notice

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, Congress has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.

This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).

A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Congress deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Congress.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Congress has always prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens.

Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.


The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)

PS - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.

jeff montanye's picture

and yet i'll always miss the train.

Harlequin001's picture

Will this be tax deductible for Goldman Sachs?

I hope so, anything to help the banking system in times of need...

Troll Magnet's picture

i kinda like to be on the SHIT program. special high? ohhhhhhh yeahhhhh...

Azannoth's picture

Best post on ZH I read in a while:)

Bobbyrib's picture

While this is certainly funny, the results from Tuesday's election where most incumbents kept their jobs was not. The "my corrupt politicians is better than your corrupt politician" thinking will definitely sink this country.

smithcreek's picture

So an involuntary "surcharge" that must, according to law, be paid by everyone in the industry that sell or imports a certain number of trees isn't a tax?  It's mandatory (So the government stepped in to mandate a fee to support the promotion board)

and is used to create a government board called the Christmas Tree Promotion Board.  Some in the industry tried to fund this in the past voluntarily, but it didn't work so they enlisted the government to compel participation.  Sounds like a tax to me and only an idiot thinks it wouldn't get passed on to the consumer in the end.  Idiot.

Harlequin001's picture

You'd be surprised at how many people have never heard of Christmas and have no fuckin clue what a Christmas tree is...

I'm all for it... I think it's a great idea, stimulates the economy and all that...

Harlequin001's picture

and whilst we're at it, why don't we tax them little white hats so that Muslims can contribute to the national coffers too? If anyone needs an advertising campaign, they do. It's then only one step away from boosting GDP by letting more Muslims in...

and I can't see anything wrong with that.

see, fixed it. No more budget deficit and lots of happy advertisers...

Can I be President now?

solidus's picture

If they had good reason to believe it would help the industry then why didn't they just do it themselves without involving the federal government in a marketing program for Christmas Trees?  No this was an effort to elicit the help of the government to squeeze out the smaller growers reducing the competition for the larger growers.  Another example of government corporatism run amok.  If it is a mandatory fee (regardless of the size) then it is a tax and all taxes have to be approved by Congress unless we are completely ignoring the Constitution (shocking!!).


smlbizman's picture

yeah...fuck you, weres your brown spider free certificate motherfucker...prove this wood wont be used for a guitar...i have a fucking machine gun mister guitar man give me your too xmas treeman...

Harlequin001's picture

There's obviously some deep and meaningful message in there somewhere that is frankly, beyond me...

HungrySeagull's picture

Oh how great is thy taxes, oh how great is thy taxes!

smlbizman's picture

ot maybe, who the fuck knows anymore....i have a half a ear towrds the debates......when the fuck did it become a game show....anyhow i have ron paul for the big showcase....and remember to spay and neuter your citizens...

Waterfallsparkles's picture

Obama introduces a Christian Tax?  Hmmm.

Next they will want to tax Christian Church Donations.

ConstantineK's picture

Anarchocapitalism and the barter system are two very different things. Check definitions before you shoot your mouth.

X.inf.capt's picture


i know...

thats why i put them on different lines...

DrunkenPleb's picture

Actually, they misspelt it anachrocapitalism:

An ironic mistake, considering the government already seems to have been practicing a form of this for some time now...

X.inf.capt's picture

sorry, pleb,

my bad on the spellin''s picture

How can government possibly practice anarcho-capitalism?

johnQpublic's picture



capitalism for the black widow government, er , spider

Nigh Eve's picture

... and back in 2007 and 2008, we had an "inflation tax".   Consequently, not only did people stop buying, they quit paying their mortgages, too.


DosZap's picture


nmewn's picture

Isn't it swell just one administrator an decide such things on a whim? ;-) 

Atlantis Consigliore's picture

dont buy capital strike; dont shop dont invest;


black underground economy only....


see ya in two years. 

Bobbyrib's picture

More like ten years. Both republicans and democrats shit on the middle class every chance they get. The kleptocracy will not end without a revolution.

X.inf.capt's picture

the tax man comeith


Wolf-Avatar's picture

A christmas tree tax IS pretty ridiculous ... but just wait until they start putting a "goods and services" tax on your tax payments.

THEN, you know that the end is nigh.   :-)

CPL's picture

They Canada, in some provinces it's called HST right now and my understanding from US cousins that visit it is near impossible to get back versus GST

MrBinkeyWhat's picture

Damn, what was I thinking when I did not get one of those raidable things?

Look elsewhere gummint rats! Fukk off!

mfoste1's picture

christmas tree tax. really? what so barry can play more golf?

lynnybee's picture

   "  No Christmas for You ! "   

s2man's picture

+1 for soup nazi reference

caerus's picture

ron paul says...bring it all down

ok he said "liquidate" but i heard "bring it all down"

slewie the pi-rat's picture

on the fake ones, too?

UP Forester's picture

Why not Menoras?  All them candles put off so much CO2, ya gotta do it!

squexx's picture

Exactly what I was thinking. Since that evil tribe is behind most of the problems and scams anyway!

Bobbyrib's picture

Luckily my family already owns a fake tree. Wait..why did I just put that on the internet?


Shit..where do I send the fifteen cents?